Gone

By LT

Universe: ATF

Main Characters: Buck, Ezra, Chris

Disclaimer: Don't own them but wish I did. Not making money off of this, wish I could.

Warning: Rated R contains sexual situations and rape scene If you are under 18 years of age, please do not read any further!

Thanks to all those who wrote in this universe before me, especially Sue Kelley. I hope I didn't step on any toes. Thank you Mog for this playpen. Marla and Katy, you've been great, thanks for the encouragement! Comments are appreciated but I barely got up the nerve to submit this one so please, no flames.


Part Five

Monday 9:35 PM MDT

Ezra sat on the edge of the bed. His cell phone had rung one time about four minutes ago and he was preparing himself to return his boss's call. He knew Chris was going to be angry but, he was determined not to let that anger and despair get to him. He had spent most of the day driving, stopping when they got to Santa Fe, New Mexico. He was tired and knew that he would not be getting much sleep for the next few days. Not until the others caught Lucas Beddlington. He thought back on the events of the day and smiled to himself. He had actually gone into a Wal-Mart. All Buck had to wear was a hospital gown and Ezra could not take him into a hotel dressed like that. He also needed all the essentials, such as tooth brushes, razors, and deodorant. He had quickly obtained everything he needed, including t-shirts and sweat pants for Buck and had literally run back to the van to see if Buck had awoken while he was gone. Fortunately, he had not.

Ezra had checked them into an upgrade hotel and told the manager that he was taking his ill cousin to Albuquerque and, that any screaming or yelling, was due to his illness. The manager put them in a suite away from the others so they wouldn't disturb anyone. Ezra had slipped him an extra fifty. He helped Buck into the room and got him settled on the bed. He needed to go get a new cell phone and some clothes for both of them but had a pretty good idea what that could do to the tormented soul before him.

Cautiously, he sat down on the bed next to Buck and tried to explain. "Buck, I've got to go out for awhile. We need some clothes for our travels. You need to rest or I would certainly take you with me. Do you think you will be all right by yourself for a short time?" Ezra asked the silent man before him. "Did you hear me, Buck?"

"Could you turn on the TV?"

Ezra was puzzled. Buck was blind and weak, his body still exhausted although he had slept on the bed in the back of the van most of the day. "Sure, if it will help you. What would you like to listen to?"

"How about a ball game."

Ezra flipped through the channels until he found a Diamondbacks game. He placed the remote in Buck's hand. "I'll bring back some food too. Is there anything you would like to eat?"

"Mashed potatoes with gravy." The voice was leaden.

Ezra sighed. "Mashed potatoes it is, my friend. Buck, what size pants do you wear?"

"34 38. Ez, I ... "

"I know. I shall return as quickly as possible. Are you sure you'll be all right by yourself?"

"Just go, Ez. And ... hurry back." The voice was small and tremulous.

Ezra hesitated. He knew he had to go and there was no way he could take Buck with him. The man was exhausted, far too weak to go out any more today. But the look on Buck's face was one of pure terror. "Buck, I wouldn't go if I didn't have to but neither of us has any clothes to wear. You have nothing but a t-shirt and sweat pants. And I only have what I have on. In fact, I've had this on for three days now and quite frankly, Mr. Wilmington, they are wearing quite thin. Please say you understand and that you will be all right."

"Go Ez." Buck huddled down on the bed, his pillow clutched to his chest.

"I won't leave you alone for long, my friend." Ezra felt his heart constrict as he closed the door behind him.

Ezra got everything as quickly as he could. He shopped at the nearest mall which also had a Verizon office. He used the credit card for Anthony Benedict which had been given to him by the ATF for one of his cover names. It was the best that he could do. He used cash for everything else including the hotel. He shopped for Buck at Sears and at a men's store for himself. He hurried back to the hotel. He stopped at the hotel restaurant and ordered room service. He then hurried up to the suite.

He quietly entered the room in case Buck was sleeping. As he approached the bed, Buck started to pull himself back into the corner of the bed. "Keep away from me, Chris. Don't hurt me again, please. Don't J.D., you don't want to do this. Please, please, leave me alone!"

"Buck, it's me, Ezra. I'm all alone. It's okay now. I'm not going to hurt you, nobody's going to hurt you anymore. I've got our new clothes, my friend. It's all right. Calm down." He dropped the bags on the floor and slowly, made his way to Buck's side. "Shhhhh. I'm here now. Nothing's going to hurt you now. It's all right." Buck grabbed his hand and trembled, taking ragged breaths. He obviously had been scared to death while Ezra had been gone. "I'm not going anywhere without you again, Buck. I promise."

Ezra stayed with him for almost twenty minutes before he could get Buck to let go of him. There was a knock on the door and Buck started to panic again. Ezra yelled for the waiter to just leave the food out in the hallway. It took another ten minutes before Ezra could get Buck to let go long enough for him to go out into the hall. He retrieved the food. He sat down on the bed beside Buck and fed him not only the mashed potatoes he had requested, but also some chicken and dumplings. Buck ate it all and then Ezra prepared him a bath in the big Jacuzzi that highlighted the large bathroom. He got Buck settled in the tub and Buck seemed to relax, really enjoying the feeling of the warm water. Ezra left him to the simple pleasure he was getting from washing his hair.

When his old telephone rang, Ezra made note of the new phone number he saw on the cell phone and memorized it. He picked up the new cell phone and dialed the number. He tried to steal himself for the wrath of Larabee.

"Ezra?" Chris answered on the first ring.

"Mr. Larabee. Before you initiate your diatribe, allow me to first say that whatever you may be going to attempt to annihilate me with, I absolutely will not bring Mr. Wilmington back and I will not divulge our whereabouts or destination. Now, you may proceed."

"How is he, Ezra?"

Ezra was stunned. All through the day, as he had been driving, listening to the sounds of pain coming from the bed in the rear of the van, he had been playing Chris's voice in his mind. First the voice would rant and rave about the stupidity of his act. Then the voice would criticize him for his moronic behavior in the abduction of Buck, a critically ill man. A couple of times, he heard the voice saying, 'You're fired, Standish. Tell us where he is and we'll come rescue Buck from such a senseless lout as yourself'. Never, during the day, did Ezra consider the calm, sympathetic voice on the other end of the phone.

"He's still in a great deal of pain but he doesn't complain. You know our comrade better than anyone. He moans sometimes but that's all. He has eaten a good supper and is now ensconced in the Jacuzzi tub. How is Mr. Dunne holding up?"

"He's pissed at you and at me but he'll be okay. We went to the penitentiary today and looked up the records for visitors for Beddlington. He had two regular visitors, a Chico Martinez and a gorgeous blonde name Kindra James. She could be Buck's hot date. Is he talking at all about what happened to him?"

"No. He's petrified down to his very soul and I'm sure there has been some form of brainwashing that took place, but I am not willing to break the bond he has established with me. When he is ready to talk, I shall be here for him, if he wishes to empty his soul. Please try to hurry the investigation, Chris. He needs medical and emotional assistance as soon as possible."

"We'll do everything that we possibly can to catch the slime. Take care of him, Ez. Do you need anything? Do you have enough money?"

"We have enough money and no, I can't think of anything that you can do for us but capture the perpetrator of this horrendous crime. I bought us clothes and you now have the new telephone number. Please do not hesitate to call if something comes to fruition. Say hello to my compatriots for me, will you, Mr. Larabee?"

"Will do, Ezra. Take care of him for us. If he needs anything that we can help with ... well, you know who to call. I'll talk to you tomorrow, Ez."

"Good bye for now."

It took Ezra a few minutes to gather his thoughts back together after the unusual telephone conversation with his intrepid boss. He had seemed to totally agree with Ezra's actions and had backed him with the others protesting. Life was strange. He needed to make one more phone call. He had to make arrangements with "Uncle" Chester for their lodging.

Buck sat in the bath tub, enjoying the warmth and the feeling of clean. How long had it been since he had cleaned up? He had no conception of the time that had passed since he had been duped by the beautiful blonde. Once again, his desire to date every female he came across had caused him grief. True, it wasn't a jealous husband or boyfriend but his lust had done him in with, what did she say her name was? Kindra? Yeah, that was it. Her brother was a drug dealer that had committed suicide while in prison. And how exactly was that his fault? Blame could be placed anywhere by the mentally unbalanced, he guessed.

His mind drifted to the room he had been left in. The concrete walls. The small barred window. The single light bulb. The dirty mattress on the floor. And the table. He could feel the emotions begin to take over his mind again. The pain, the suffering, the fear, the panic. Why had Chris done that to him? Why had he left him there to suffer so and why had he brought J.D. to ... The betrayal of his two best friends hurt more than the drug they had used on him. The mortification that he felt, being tied to that table with the pain coursing through his body, to be raped by J.D. with Chris encouraging him. And not just once but twice! The pain of the brutal attack that seemingly ripped him apart would stay with him the rest of his life. He could never go back to Denver. He could never trust his two best friends again. His life was worthless now and yet, Ezra sat in the other room, gently taking care of him. Why? Why would a member of the Team stay with him, when his boss had stripped him of everything he held dear in his life? Was Ezra assigned to keep an eye on him and bring him back to Chris whenever he was ready to hurt him again? He needed to know. Somehow, he was going to have to get off by himself to decide what he was going to do now. Was it worth living after what they had done to him? At this very moment in time, he would have to say no. Chris had been right when he said that Sarah's death was his fault. He needed to be punished but not that way. The pain that came from the injections filled his body again and he held his chest with both hands. The burning crashed through him and he couldn't breathe. He rocked slowly back and forth until the pain finally eased. 'Why Chris? Why did you let them hurt me like that?' Tears flowed freely down his cheeks. 'I know you hate me for what I did to Sarah and Adam but I didn't deserve the ... ' His mind wouldn't even allow him to think the word, rape! The image created in his mind returned and he saw and felt J.D. behind him, grabbing his body and pulling him towards him, Chris encouraging him, cheering him on. Buck's body stiffened with the memory of J.D. entering him, the pain and mortification that action had caused were beyond anything that Buck could have imagined, even in his worst nightmare. But there it was. Buck had been forced to endure the deed twice, and now he simply wanted to be left alone, all alone. He literally wanted to die. His ignominy was far too deep to live with.

Ezra entered the bathroom, thinking that the water must be getting cold by this time. Buck would need help getting out of the tub and dried off. What he saw tore his heart to ribbons. The gregarious ladies man who always had a tale to tell with a smile on his face, sat in the tub, silently crying. Ezra walked over to the big man and put a hand on his shoulder.

"NOOOOO!" Buck screamed, terror written all over his face. He immediately withdrew from the hand on his shoulder, trying to retreat further than the confines of the tub would allow. Water splashed the floor. Ezra pulled back, almost afraid to say anything to his wounded colleague. Hesitantly, he approached Buck again.

"I'm sorry, Buck. I didn't mean to scare you. It's just me. You're all right. Shhhh." Ezra whispered, comforting his friend. It took several minutes for Buck to come to back to reality and have it register in his mind that the hand belonged to Ezra and not to Chris.

Buck took a ragged breath and moved back to the middle of the tub. He wiped away the tears that slipped silently down his cheeks with the backs of his hands. He didn't turn his face towards Ezra though. He had to know why the con man, the undercover expert of the team, was here with him now. They had never been the best of pals although Buck held a deep respect for the Southerner. He had always wanted to include Ezra Standish as one of his best friends. Ezra was the one who always held back, who kept himself at a distance from the others. So why was he here now? He gathered what was left of his courage and simply asked, "Why Ezra?"

Ezra looked at him, puzzled. "Why what, Mr. Wilmington?"

"Why are you doing this? I know we're friends, but you never seemed to care that much before about what I did or didn't do. You've never been there for me before, why are you here now? Are you just holding onto me for Chris? Is that it? Are you going to take me back to them when Chris beckons?" His voice was barely audible.

Ezra hesitated. Why would Buck think that Chris would want to hurt him? Did he really think that Chris and J.D. were responsible for kidnapping him? Once again, Ezra wondered, 'What happened to this life loving man to make him cower and panic over every sound, every touch?' He wanted to say just the right thing to continue the trust that the big man had placed in him so far. "Because, Buck, you needed me. You never seemed to need anyone before. You were the one who took care of everybody, me included. You've always been the one who had his hand out. The one who had a hug for any of us that needed comforting. Now, you're the one who needs somebody and, my dear friend, I was proud to be the one you reached for. I cherish our friendship more than you know. Will you allow me to continue to aid you?" Ezra watched his face.

The big man's head dipped low toward the water. When he lifted it again, tears covered his face again. "You're not going to take me back to that room?"

Ezra reached out his hand again and placed it on Buck's arm. "I made you a promise in the exam room that I would never let anything hurt you again. I failed once but I will not fail again. Nobody is going to touch you or hurt you anymore. I am here to take care of you until you can do that for yourself. That is, if you will let me? Will you let me stay with you, Buck?"

Buck breathed a sigh of relief and then he turned to Ezra. "Thanks for being here, Ez. I could really use the help if you want to stay."

"My pleasure Mr. Wilmington. Now, shall we get you out of the tub and into some clean clothes. You are turning into a mass of wrinkles." He held Buck's arm while he worked his way to his feet. He grabbed a towel and handed it to Buck as he stood on the bath mat, dripping.

Buck dried off as best as he could but he handed the towel back to Ezra. "Can you get my back for me?"

"Sure." Ezra started to run the towel over Buck's back when he noticed the bruises by Buck's waist and hips. There were several of them, like fingerprints, as if someone had grabbed him from behind. Suddenly it dawned on Ezra what might have happened to Buck during the terrible lonely days that he had been held captive. 'Oh my God,' Ezra thought, 'is this what the hurt and anger towards Chris and J.D. is all about?' It made sense now. He had no idea why, but somehow, Buck was under the impression that Chris was responsible for the sexual assault on him and that J.D. was the perpetrator. Ezra was sick at heart over the atrocities that Buck had endured and he vowed to himself that Lucas Beddlington was going to pay for everything he had done to his friend. Ezra also knew that he would never ask Buck about the bruises or what he thought Chris and J.D. had done to him. When Buck was ready, Ezra hoped he could be of some help to this special man.

Ezra sat him down on the edge of the tub and dried his hair and then brushed it. He handed Buck the deodorant while he got Buck's new clothes. He helped Buck into a t-shirt and shorts and lead him back to the large king size bed in the adjoining room. He got him tucked into the bed, a pillow held tightly against his chest once again.

"I called my Uncle Chester. He's really not my uncle but Maude's third husband. Anyway, he has a log cabin in the mountains of South Carolina just outside of Greenville. He was glad to let us use it and he will have the caretaker of the place stock it and clean it up some. We should be there two days from now. Can you take that much traveling, Buck?"

"Yeah. I think so, Ez. A log cabin, huh? Out in the woods?" Buck, for the first time, seemed interested in something that Ezra told him.

"Chester bought a couple hundred acres in the mountains and built the cabin in the middle of it so it is very isolated. I spent time there during my last year of high school and my first year of college. It is very peaceful and protected. I think that we can relax for a while there. Does that sound good to you?"

"It sounds perfect. Does it have indoor plumbing, Ez?"

Ezra laughed heartily at the question. "My dear Mr. Wilmington, do you honestly think that Maude would set foot in a place that had an outhouse? When I said log cabin I really meant that it is a small mansion with five bedrooms, a two story living room, a huge stone fireplace, and a hot tub on the large deck overhanging the valley. The exterior just happens to be made of logs. Chester was into the rugged look for a while. What I remember the most about it was the solitude, the quiet and the view, both daytime and night. The stars are really quite beautiful when there is no light pollution to obscure the view." He noticed the tears running down Buck's face. "I'm sorry, my friend. I forgot that you are temporarily without sight. Forgive me?"

"It's not that, Ez. I'm just glad that I have you for a friend." Buck hesitated and then he added, "Can we keep this place just between the two of us? Don't tell Chris or J.D. where we are, okay?" Buck reached out and Ezra took his hand.

"My lips are sealed. No one shall know of our whereabouts except Chester and the caretaker. Now, why don't you try to get some sleep. We have a long drive tomorrow." Ezra released Buck's hand and got off the bed.

"Where are you going to sleep?" Buck asked, a bit of panic in his voice. Ezra caught it right away.

"In the next room." Ezra watched as Buck started to tremble. Buck's hand went to his mouth and he bit down on his thumb. Ezra reached out and pulled it away from his mouth. "Would you rather I sleep in here with you?" Ezra paused and then said, "Why don't I fix up this bed for both of us?"

He went into the other bedroom and grabbed all the pillows. He came back and laid them down the middle of the bed. "Now we each have a single bed. Are you comfortable with this arrangement, Mr. Wilmington?"

Buck seemed to relax a bit as he ran his hand down the pillow line. "Yeah. Thanks Ez. One more thing Ez, could you leave the TV on? I'm not real comfortable with silence right now."

"No problem. Shall I put on a movie?"

"Whatever you want to watch. I just want the sound."

Ezra turned on a classic movie and stripped down to his shorts. He turned out the lights and crawled in under the covers. He lay on his back, an arm under his head. He felt a hand working it's way under the pile of pillows. He smiled to himself and turned over on his side so he could hold the hand of his lost friend. "Good night, Buck." He fell quickly asleep.


Tuesday 3:02 AM

Ezra awoke slowly. A strange glow filled the room and he heard voices. He listened closely and heard the voices extolling the virtues of a set of pans. He chuckled softly and turned over on his back. He was about to drift back to sleep when he heard the quiet noise, not voices, maybe not even human. He listened for it again. It was a muffled whimpering. Buck! Ezra sat up and looked at the side of the bed where Buck should have been. There was nothing there and the sheets were cold. How long had Buck been gone? He looked quickly around the room but did not see him. He got up and went into the bathroom. There, huddled in the corner, he saw the tightly clenched form. It was pulled in so tight he could barely recognize it as a person.

Ezra stood frozen in place. He was not equipped to handle this. He had gone to college and studied criminal justice and pre law. He had only taken the required Psych 101. What had he gotten himself in to? He should have talked Josiah into this rescue. Josiah would know what to do for Buck, he would be able to help the tortured soul huddled in the corner. "Please, God, help me reach this wounded soul," he prayed silently. "Why did I undertake this lost cause?" He berated himself. And then from some small recess of his heart he found the answer. "I know Buck, but I have never been a nurse maid before. I will endeavor to do my very best for you, my friend." He took a deep breath and ever so slowly, he moved forward.

"Buck, it's Ezra. I'm here. It's all right, Buck. Nobody is going to hurt you again. Easy, my friend. It's gonna be just fine now. I'm here. That's right, it's just me. I won't hurt you. You know that, don't you. Shhhhh. It's all right now, it's just me, Ezra. Let's just get you off the floor here and back to bed. Are you cold, Buck? I got you, Buck. You're all right now." He spoke in hushed tones, his Southern drawl very pronounced.

The whimpering ceased but the man didn't relax a bit. If anything, he tried to make himself smaller. He seemed to be holding his breath, waiting for the torture to begin anew.

Ezra knelt in front of Buck. "Shhhh. It's just me, Buck. It's Ezra. There is no one else here. Shhhh. Let's get out of here and back to bed. What do you say? Let's go to bed, my friend. You've got to be freezing on this tiled floor. Come on, we need to get you warmed up. Let me get you up and back to bed."

Buck hesitated and then slowly nodded his head. Ezra took his elbow and helped the man uncoil himself. He supported the tall lanky man and led him back into the bedroom and once again tucked him into the bed. He watched the man slowly relax and eventually, his breathing evened out. Ezra could tell he was sleeping. He looked at the clock and noticed that it was already 4:15. Ezra went to his side of the separated bed and crawled in. He pulled the covers up to his chin, turned off the TV and tried for another couple hours of sleep. As he was drifting off, he reached out and took Buck's hand into his. He felt the fingers tighten slightly around his own hand and he knew that the next few weeks would be long and painful for both of them. He felt as if the man beside him was an abused child, needing and deserving protection and the best possible care he could give. Ezra knew he would never leave this man until he was strong enough to make it on his own.


Tuesday 9:16 AM MDT

Chris walked into the bullpen where his agents were all diligently at work. J.D. sat hunched over his computer, searching building permits for any sign of Lucas Beddlington. Josiah was replaying the tape that Beddlington had left at the hospital. Nathan was on the telephone with the hospital lab, still trying to find the drugs used in the concoction that the monster had injected into Buck. They had carefully scraped up the trace amounts they had found on the floor of Buck's hospital room. The lab was trying to make sense of the components. Vin was on the telephone with one of his snitches. He was hoping to get a lead on Chico Martinez. If Chico had been around Denver while Beddlington was in prison, someone would know the big Hispanic.

J.D. looked up when he noticed Chris standing in their midst. "Did you talk to Ezra last night? How's Buck doing? Did you find out where they are? Did you talk Ezra into coming back?"

"Slow down, J.D. Yes, I talked to Ezra last night. Buck is doing as well as can be expected considering. Standish is not going to tell any of us where he is or where he's going and he's not bringing Buck back until Beddlington is dead or behind bars. I have no problem with his actions, J.D. Now, get back to work. Anybody got anything yet?" Chris moved over and sat on the edge of Nathan's desk. "Do they know what it is yet?"

"We've isolated all but the last element. It's a totally devious concoction, Chris. I've never heard of some of these components. And I always prided myself on keeping currant." Nathan shook his head, disappointed in himself. "Chris, I'm sorry. I should have been able to do something better than this. I know I'm letting Buck down."

Chris put his hand on the black agent's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Just do your best. It's all we ask of you, Nate. You're not a miracle worker."

Josiah walked over to join the two men. He placed his hand on Nathan's other shoulder. "Brother Nathan, I'm afraid that I am as ineffectual as you find yourself. There's nothing in that tape, Chris, that we didn't already know. I'm going to start profiling Kindra James. Maybe somebody knows her. She's lived around Denver her whole life. She's got to have a history."

"Get to it, Preacher."

Vin watched J.D. get up and rush into the kitchenette that was just down the hall. Vin rose and followed the young man. He found him sitting at the table, his head in his hands, crying. Vin sat down next to him and waited. There was little he could do to comfort the boy. Buck would have pulled J.D. into a bear hug and held him until the tears stopped but Vin knew he could not replace Buck in the young agent's life. He didn't even want to try right now.

"I should have been here for him, Vin. If I hadn't left on that damn vacation and if Casey hadn't stolen my phoneŠ.. I just want him back, Vin! I want to comfort him like he always does me. Why did Ezra have to steal him away from me?"

"Is that what you think, J.D.? Ah, Kid, there was nothin' you or Chris or any of us could'a done to prevent that monster from takin' him. Beddlington didn't give a rat's ass if you were home or not. He would have just waited until some other time when Buck and that woman were alone. If you had been home, they pro'bly would'na spread the blood around but Buck would still have been abducted. Ya weren't gonna stop him, Kid. Revenge and guilt are two powerful emotions and both are destructive. So, put the guilt away and help us find the monster who did this to Buck, so we can bring him home. Okay? And don't you start blaming Ez for any of this. He's the one that Buck needs right now. You just be glad that Buck will let someone near him to comfort and take care of him. I know what your big brother did in that hospital room hurt. You got stung a bit because Buck pulled away from you but you and Buck will both get over it eventually. And ya know, Ez didn't steal nothin' away from you. All he's doin' is protectin' Buck from gettin' hurt again. You leave Ezra do what he's doin' and you get back to work. We're gonna get Beddlington and soon. He'll pay for what he did to Buck and what he took from all of us."

J.D. wiped his eyes on his sleeve and took a big gulping breath. He nodded but didn't say anything to Vin. He grabbed a cup of coffee and went back to his desk. Vin watched him go, hoping he had done the kid some good.

Chris watched J.D. and Vin walk back into the bullpen. He could tell the young agent had been crying but he didn't know what to say to him. He hoped Vin had been able to help. Chris heard the phone ring and he watched Josiah answer it.

"Agent Sanchez, ATF. May I help you?"

"Put Larabee on the phone now!" The voice was ice cold but he immediately recognized it.

Josiah put his hand over the receiver and said, "Chris, its Beddlington!"

Chris ran to his office, knowing that the other agents would be doing their jobs on the trace and recording. He took a breath to steel himself and hold back his seething anger. He reached for the phone and pushed the button for line one.

"What the hell do you want now, Beddlington?" Chris tried to turn the tables on the man responsible for hurting his brother, for that's how Chris felt about Buck .

"You think Wilmington is safe with that con man? Ha! He may have gotten him out of town but it's too late, Larabee." The voice was smug.

"What do you mean, asshole? You can't get to him again. He's out of your reach."

"I don't have to get to him again, as you put it, Sergeant. You see, the serum will take care of him for me. It's a slow acting poison but it is quite effective. You will never see your partner alive again. I hope that makes your day, Larabee. Of course, the guilt you laid on him while he was being held here, well, he probably wants to die by now. By the way, tell that little brat that works for you that he was magnificent. What a lusty performance, and not just once but twice. Officer Wilmington will go to his grave believing that you and Dunne are responsible for the cruel and unusual punishment he received. So you see, Sergeant Larabee, I don't need to have him under my control anymore. He's gone and you're the one he will hate as he lays dying. Bye for now, Sergeant." Click.

Chris sat, stunned by the revelation that Beddlington had just provided. Poison! No, please let him be lying to them. "Nathan?"

Nathan entered Chris's office. He had been recording the phone call and had heard Beddlington say that the concoction was poison. He had been afraid of that but he had hesitated telling the others until he had all the data on the ingredients. He couldn't look Chris directly in the eye. He hung his head and said, "I'm afraid he's telling the truth. From what I've gotten so far, it would appear that whatever they injected Buck with is a slow acting poison. It's probably going to affect his kidneys and liver first, then his spleen and heart. He's probably got two weeks at the most. We've got to get more people on this Chris and find an antidote beforeŠ.."

Chris's breath caught in his throat. He stared at Nathan as if he had just told him the world was going to end in seven days. He had to call Ezra, get him to bring Buck back right away. Nathan would find an antidote! He had to or Chris's world would indeed end. He would not let his oldest friend, his brother, die like this. Buck was meant to die of old age or perhaps of a heart attack in a young woman's arms. Not like this, not far away from his "family".

He had so much to tell Buck, to thank him for. He thought of the Sunday they were supposed to have together, the plans he had made for that day. The last time he had spoken to Buck, they had agreed to meet on that special day. Both of them were looking forward to it. Now, he may never get the chance to say the things that had gone unspoken for so long. No, he would not allow Buck to pass on without the chance to tell him that he loved him. Tears started to roll down his cheeks as he stared silently at Nathan.

"Chris, talk to Travis. Ask him to get the FBI lab involved. We need all the help we can get! The hospital lab and the lab here aren't enough . Did you hear me, Chris?" Nathan was standing directly in front of Chris's desk now.

Chris looked past Nathan and saw J.D. and Josiah standing in the doorway. Josiah was supporting the boy who was ready to collapse. His face was ash white and tears streaked his face. His eyes were begging Chris to do something to save the man who had become so important to him.

Chris stood and walked the mile around his desk. He put a hand on Nathan's shoulder and looked J.D. in the face. He cleared his throat of the emotion that threatened to take over and said, "We have to save him. It's totally up to us so we better get at it. Nathan, get everything together and prepare a sample. We'll send it off to the FBI lab as soon as you're ready. Keep working with the hospital. That's all I want you on, do you understand?"

Nathan nodded and went to start gathering all he knew together to ship off to the lab in Washington, DC. If there was a place in the world that could help, it would be the lab guys at the FBI.

Chris turned to J.D. "I'm not going to have Ezra bring him back. It may be just what Beddlington wants. I'll tell him what's going on and we'll keep in contact with him but, that Ezra's job right now. Our job, J.D., is to catch the bastard that did this to Buck. I want Beddlington by the end of the week." He took two steps toward J.D. and then pulled him into an embrace. "We can't loose him, can we?"

J.D. wrapped his arms around Chris, his tears soaking into Chris's shirt. He shook his head no but didn't say anything for a few minutes. Finally, he broke away. "What did he mean by my performance, Chris? What cruel and unusual punishment is he talking about?"

"I don't know, J.D. He was probably just talking out of his hat. He wants us, no, me, to suffer along with Buck. He'll say anything, do anything, to keep us wondering about what he did to Buck so we can't concentrate on the here and now. So forget it and get back to work. Find me something in that computer of yours, okay, J.D.?"

J.D. pulled away, wiped the tears from his face, and nodded. He smiled slightly and went back to sit in front of his terminal. Chris watched him go, hoping that his words would relieve some of the worry in J.D.'s mind. He knew that by tonight, the young man would be out of his mind with anxiety, wondering again about Beddlington's revelation and what it meant. He would keep J.D. close to him, try to protect him from Beddlington and his own self doubts. That was the least he could do for Buck.

Chris wondered about Beddlington's devious plotting. What had he done to Buck? He knew there was more to the story than just the poison that now flowed through Buck's veins. A thought, so dark and hideous as to be almost unthinkable, was beginning to form in the back of his mind but he refused to believe that Buck had been forced to endure that kind of punishment. He would not let that be the truth. He shook his head and went back out into the bullpen.

"Vin, you and Josiah, get out on the street. Find someone who knew this woman and Martinez. I want to know where they are! And I want it by the end of the day!" Vin and Josiah nodded and, picking up their coats, they headed to the door. He went back inside his office and picked up the phone. Gathering himself, he dialed the number for his boss, Ad Orrin Travis. They had to find an antidote and save his oldest friend. They had no other option.


Tuesday 9:37 PM MDT

Chris sat with his new cell phone in his hand. He needed to call Ezra and tell him about the phone call from Beddlington. He needed to know how Buck was doing, now that he was away from Chris, J.D., and the horrors he had faced at the hands of Lucas Beddlington. He had convinced J.D. to come out to the ranch with him instead of going back to the loft. The blood still stained most of Buck's bedroom and J.D. needed to be with someone, not alone in a blood splattered condo by himself. J.D. had again asked Chris what he thought Beddlington had meant by "lusty performance" but Chris had no answer for him. Chris didn't want to think about the words that Beddlington had burned into his mind. He sure as hell didn't want to discuss them with J.D. or anyone else, for that matter. He made up his mind, then and there, not to mention Beddlington's statement to Ezra. He would tell Ezra about the poison so that he could get medical treatment for Buck, but the rest was not necessary.

J.D. was downstairs, trying to get his mind off of things for a while with a Steven Segal movie but Chris doubted he could tell anyone the plot. J.D. had tried so many different ideas out on the computer but he had come up dry as had Vin and Josiah. It wasn't until eight o'clock that Chris had gotten all of them to go home for some much needed sleep. He knew he wouldn't be getting much sleep and he doubted if the others would either but at least they could try for a few hours. He wondered if Ezra was getting any sleep. Probably not. He took a deep breath and called Ezra's number.

"Yes, Mr. Larabee."

"Hi, Ezra. How did the day go?"

"We traveled quite a distance. He sat up in the front seat with me today. He was quiet but he at least showed some interest in our travels. The pain seemed to be somewhat diminished but then he never really complains. Mr. Larabee, I doubt if even Satan himself could have devised a more abominable torture for our friend than this monster did. He has taken away our loveable rogue and I, for one, will go to my grave loathing Lucas Beddlington."

Chris smiled slightly to himself. "I hate to change your opinion of the monster butŠ. Ez, it got worse today." Chris paused, emotion gripping his throat, making it impossible to say any more. He cleared his throat twice and then he managed to continue. "He called. He wanted to make sure we knew that the serum he had injected Buck with was a slow acting poison. Nathan agreed. He probably only has a week or two unless we can come up with an antidote. Nathan sent everything he had to the FBI lab this afternoon. We have to pray that they can help. I don't know how you are going to do it but you've got to get him to a doctor, Ez. Maybe a doctor can keep him going until we get the antidote."

There was silence on the other end of the line and Chris wondered if Ezra had heard him. Damn cell phones! He tried again. "Ezra, did you hear me say that he needs a doctor?"

"Yes, Chris, I did. The problem is hospitals have computers and can be tapped in to. I also have a very stubborn man to deal with. When he finds out that it was you that suggested he go to a doctor, he will refuse. He considers you a part of the plot against him, I'm afraid. He has not said much but he is terrified of you as well as Beddlington."

"Yeah, I gathered that, Ez. I don't know what it is I supposedly did, but I think Buck needs to be left alone by me and the rest of us. Do what you can. I trust you to take care of him."

"Thank you for that vote of confidence, Mr. Larabee. I shall do whatever it takes to procure him medical attention. We should reach our destination tomorrow afternoon. I shall contact you at that time. Good night."

Ezra sat and thought about the information that his boss and friend had just passed on to him. He reached for the telephone and called Chester McKenzie one more time. A short while later, his 'Uncle' Chester called back. He had arranged for Ezra to take Buck to a private clinic where a good friend of his, Dr. Winston Cavanaugh, would exam him. Chester said that Dr. Cavanaugh was one of the best doctors in Greenville and he would gladly take care of Buck. Chester had clued Dr. Cavanaugh in on the fact that Ezra and Buck were ATF agents and that Buck had been abducted and tortured. He gave Ezra explicit directions to the clinic and then bid him good luck. As Ezra lay down beside Buck to sleep, he felt quite a bit better.


Wednesday 1:43 PM EDT

Ezra pulled into the parking lot of the private clinic owned by Dr. Winston Cavanaugh. He parked and breathed a sigh of relief. He quickly checked on Buck who was lying on the bed in the back of the van. Buck was sleeping restlessly but Ezra made the decision to leave him for a few minutes and go inside to get help. Four hours earlier, Buck had been sitting in the passenger seat. He had been quiet all day which was not unusual lately but Ezra kept glancing Buck's way for his face seemed flushed. When Buck finally spoke it was to tell Ezra that he was going to go lay down in the back. Ezra pulled the van over immediately. He reached over to help his friend into the back and found that Buck was burning up with a fever. He had no way of knowing how high the fever actually was but he knew it was high enough that it had to be addressed as quickly as possible. He made Buck as comfortable as he could in the bed and then he sped toward Greenville. He had arrived about an hour before he had expected to be there. Now he stood before the receptionist and waited.

"Yes sir, may I help you?" the young woman asked pleasantly.

"I need to see Dr. Cavanaugh immediately." Ezra was losing patience fast.

"I'm sorry sir, he's seeing patients at this time. Unless you have an appointment ... "

"Young lady, get the doctor now!" Ezra cut her off. "Tell him it is Mr. Standish and friend, the ones Mr. McKenzie called him about last night." He glared at the girl until she got up and went into the back rooms. She came back a minute later. "Will you come with me, please."

She led him to Dr. Cavanaugh's office. Ezra walked in to a plush office done in walnut. A leather couch sat against on wall while the large desk took up a third of the room. A small bathroom was just to the left. The rest of the room contained file cabinets. It had the look of an important person who actually worked. He made himself sit although he wanted to run back out to the van to check on Buck .

Several minutes later, a portly man in his early fifties walked into the room. He had a gentle face, gray hair and glasses. He smiled at Ezra and extended his hand. "I'm Dr. Cavanaugh. Chester called me last night and briefly explained the situation. I'll do anything I can for your friend. It sounds like he's been through a very rough time. Why don't you sit and tell me about the problems he's experiencing?" He turned to his assistant who had also come into the room. "Sylvia, spread the rest of my patients among the other doctors. Explain to them that an emergency came up. Then tell Glen to get the ultrasound and x-ray warmed up. Tell the lab that the blood and urine work ups that I give them in a few minutes will be top priority. I want them done ASAP. Get Exam room 1 ready and then accompany Mr. Standish out to get his friend."

"Yes sir." She turned to Ezra, "Can he walk or does he need a wheelchair?"

"A wheelchair."

"I will meet you by the back door when you are ready." She left to do the doctor's bidding.

"Now, Mr. Standish, if you will tell me about his symptoms."

"Doctor, we are AFT agents. My partner was abducted and held prisoner for eight days. He was injected with a slow acting poison that caused extreme pain. None of the labs have ever seen anything like the serum that was used. It has caused blindness already. What other damage has been done, well, he wouldn't let anyone examine him before. I had to kidnap him from the hospital in Denver because the mad man that took him got to him again while he was in the hospital. We have been on the road for three days. He was better yesterday but then today, he developed a fever. He is very weak. While he was missing, I believe that he was brain washed andŠ Dr. Cavanaugh, I believe that my friend was sexually assaulted. He has terrible nightmares and there was bruising by his waist and thighs. He has not opened up at all about what actually happened to him."

The doctor nodded sympathetically. He came around the desk and sat on it in front of Ezra. "We will be as gentle and as thorough as we can be. We are pretty well set up here as far as testing goes. When I moved here from Atlanta, I wanted a place of my own with out the red tape and bureaucratic nonsense. I was head of internal medicine at one of the big hospitals there. We will do what we can for your friend. By the way, his name is?"

"Buck Wilmington. Dr. Cavanaugh, he's scared to death. You will probably need to sedate him to even get near him. May I stay by his side while you do your work?"

"Of course. Let's get to it. Sylvia will assist you in bringing him inside."


Wednesday 3:59 PM MDT

J.D. sat at his desk trying to find something to go on to find Lucas Beddlington, Kindra James, or Chico Martinez. It was like none of them existed. Obviously, they all did their daily business under aliases. If he could just figure out what those other identities might be. He looked up to see a woman standing before his desk. He was startled but quickly collected himself.

"Can I help you, ma'am? Who are you looking for?" He got up and moved around his desk. He offered her a chair. She looked frightened and he tried to ease her mind. "Can I get you anything, a cup of coffee or a Coke?"

She shook her head and sat in the chair. She studied her hands and didn't say anything for quite a while. As impatient as J.D. normally was, he waited for her to speak. He studied her as he waited. She was probably around thirty but it was obvious that she had lived a hard life on the streets. She was dressed casually in jeans and a sweatshirt but she had on thick make up. Her hair was dyed an unnatural blonde-white and she wore it up, off of her neck. She was thin, almost skinny, and she had the look of a frightened animal.

Finally, she looked up at the young ATF agent. "Do you work with Buck?"

"I live with him too. Is this something you want to discuss with him because he's not here right now? Can I be of assistance?"

"I heard through the grapevine that he'd been kidnapped. Is that true?" She spoke very quietly and J.D. had to listen carefully to every word she said.

"Yes."

"Was Kindra James involved?" She looked J.D. directly in the eye.

He knelt down before her, his heart racing. "We think so. Do you know her? Do you know where she lives?" He held his breath.

"Yeah, I know her. We started out in the same house together. We were both young kids back then. She hooked up with Beddlington and I never saw her again on the streets. You must be Buck's young friend. He talks about you a lot."

J.D. put his hand on the woman's shoulder. "Why don't we get that cup of coffee and talk some place a little more private?" Although everyone else was out of the office, combing the streets right now, he felt she would be more comfortable in the break room where he could sit beside her and they could share a cup of bad coffee.

They moved into the break room and settled themselves at the table. J.D. set a cup in front of her and poured the strong smelling brew. He sat beside her and took her hand in his. "How do you know Buck, MissŠ?"

"Tanya," she sipped her coffee. "I met Buck a long time ago. He was still with the police back then. He let me go one night, didn't want to take me in for solicitin'. He used ta do that for a lot of the girls. He's a rare one, he is. All the girls love him to pieces. He's fair, kind and he respects us as human beings. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I do." He smiled at her and she smiled back.

"Anyways, I heard yesterday that you guys were lookin' for Kindra. I work at a little dress shop, deliverin' things for the rich, runnin' errands and such. One day I delivered a dress to a mansion outside of town. The name didn't mean a thing to me but then I saw her out by the pool. It was Kindra, I'm sure of it. I think I could take you there but I don't remember the address. Would that help Buck?"

"You don't know how much, Tanya. You just might save his life. I need to make one phone call and then we'll go, okay?"

Tanya smiled and nodded her consent.


Wednesday 7:19 PM MDT

"J.D., we have to have something more to go on than just her word that she thinks she saw Kindra James, a person she hadn't seen in twelve years, out by the swimming pool when she was at the front door! We are not going to get a search warrant based on just this woman's information." Chris was trying to rein in his young agent's zealousness. He, himself, would like to go and break into the mansion out in the hills outside of Denver. But they simply did not have enough information. This was the first important lead they'd had so far in the abduction and they were all eager to jump head first. Chris wanted the arrest to stick like crazy glue when they did make their move. He needed more to go on.

"Chris, Tanya knows the James woman! She's the first person we've come up with that knows her and Tanya was sure that Kindra was the one she saw. The mansion is just what Beddlington would want, stuck away out in the hills, where no one would observe his coming and going. Hell, I'm not sure we could do any surveillance out there. He'd be suspicious of any cars or trucks in the area. We got to act now, Chris! Buck's life depends on it!" J.D. stood toe to toe with his boss, any deference he usually had for the man he looked up to as a hero, was gone. His 'brother' was dying and the man J.D. had thought was his best friend, was talking about search warrants and technicalities. His temper flared. "God dammit, Chris, do you want Buck to die while we sit on our asses? Do you hate him that much for keeping you alive?"

Chris's green eyes turned dark and he grabbed J.D. by the collar of his shirt. His fist was ready to strike the young man's face. Something in him held it back but he was trembling with the effort. Veins popped out on his forehead and his face grew red. With raw anger, he spit out at the kid in front of him, "Don't you ever say that again, you little prick! That man is family to me and I would do anything to protect him. You have no idea what this is doing to me. If I could, I would pour a gallon of that damn poison down Beddlington's throat and watch him writhe in pain from it. But someone has to keep their head in this case and it sure isn't you!" He shoved J.D. back against the door of his office. In a tone so low that only J.D. could have heard what was being said, Chris growled, "You don't know what Buck means to me. None of you do. Stay out of my face until you can prove that Beddlington lives there."

Just then, Josiah walked in. He stood to the side of both men, not taking sides. He had heard J.D.'s comment from down the hall and he had cringed. The boy just couldn't control himself when it came to Buck. Why couldn't J.D. see the special bond that held Chris and Buck together? Josiah had been a criminal psychologist for fifteen years now, three with this team. He was one of the best profilers in the business. It was the reason that Chris had chosen Josiah for the team. He studied people constantly, not just criminals. Even to this day, he marveled at the relationship between his two friends. Theirs was so complex a rapport that even the two of them could not tell you what kept them at each other's side. But deep down in their souls they were bound to each other and nothing but death could pull them apart. The introduction of Vin to Chris's life and the entrance of young J.D. to Buck's, did not break the bond that had been sealed in the years before and after Sarah Larabee. The blood that flowed through their veins might not be from the same parents but the two men were brothers in every other way imaginable.

"That's enough, you two. We have another lead. Vin and Nathan are staking the place out. If you sit down like good boys, I'll tell you about it." Josiah never raised his voice. It was merely a statement of fact.

Chris glared a second or two longer at J.D. and then he let go with a slight shove to make sure his point was impressed on the young man. He made his way around his desk and sat heavily in his chair. His fingers slid through his hair and he looked at Josiah, waiting. J.D. was still angry but he held his tongue as he too sat down and looked expectantly at Josiah.

Josiah sat on the couch. He looked at the two men in front of him who loved Buck Wilmington as more than a friend. He was the family that neither man had and they were scared to death of losing him. They should be comforting each other, not accusing the other of not caring. He shook his head but didn't make a comment on their behavior. "Nathan found a man at a gay bar who knows Martinez. He's been intimate with the gorilla. He says Martinez is cruel, ruthless, and totally devoted to Lucas Beddlington. He says the man has no scruples and will do whatever Beddlington tells him to do. But, he has a weakness. He likes young men and about twice a week he goes on the prowl for them. Evidently, the man is huge and one time is enough for any man he happens to convince to do it with him. He usually is brutal and this Benito we talked to, got hurt pretty bad. He doesn't care for our friend Chico at all. Anyway, Benito says Martinez likes to hang out at Dooley's on Foster. Vin and Nathan are down there now, waiting to see if Martinez shows up. I know it's a long shot but ... "

"Hey, at this point I'll take anything. Go on back down there and help them out. Josiah, make sure he doesn't see any of you. J.D., get on that computer of yours and find out any information you can on that house. I want to know who sold the land, who built the house, and most important, who lives there."


Part One  |  Part Two  |  Part Three  |  Part Four  |  Part Five  |  Part Six  |  Part Seven  |  Part Eight  |  Part Nine  |  Epilogue


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