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Standing in Mary's darkened living room staring out of the window with unseeing eyes, Chris absentmindedly sipped the cup of coffee in his hand while contemplating the change that had occurred in his relationship with Mary over the past several months and tonight in particular.
It had started several months ago as a simple conversation during an ATF picnic. Chris had not been to one of the annual events since Sarah and Adam had died. But somehow the others had talked him into it this year. Mary had been similarly shanghaied by Orrin and Billy to attend. The Travis' had barely gotten out of the vehicle when Billy had spotted Chris and made a line for him. When lunch was ready, Billy pulled him over to their table and insisted he sit with them. Rather than causing anymore of a scene than the youngster had already caused, Chris had conceded.
During the afternoon, Chris and Mary found themselves being thrust together repeatedly. Finally, by the time it was over, the two were even laughing at, though embarrassed by, the very obvious matchmaking that was going on around them. Helping her pack the last of her gear into her car, out of the blue, Chris offered to take them both horseback riding the next weekend. She had accepted and since then their friendship had grown. It seemed like they always managed to squeeze at least a few hours together during their busy week.
For some reason they had not become intimate during that time. Not that there wasn't an obvious physical attraction between the two. More than once Chris found himself mentally undressing her or contemplating how her naked body would feel next to him. He was human after all. And he was pretty sure Mary was attracted to him also. There were times when he could tell she was left breathless and overwhelmed by his physical presence, just like he was at times from hers.
But instead, they had waited. He just wasn't sure he was ready to get that close to another human being yet. Although they had never spoken about it, Chris got the impression that Mary had similar reservations.
Then tonight, he felt that had changed for both of him. He had never intended to get involved as deeply as he had in this crisis. All he was going to do was take Orrin to the hospital, stay only long enough to make sure Billy was going to be all right, and then leave. A good plan, but he hadn't counted on the effect of seeing Mary so distraught would have on him.
He had never seen such terror in her eyes before. And when she grabbed his hand, it was like she was a drowning person who had finally been thrown a life line. She never let go of it. It was he who had to extract it from her vice grip to speak to Vin.
Then she had almost broken down in the hallway. He would have given anything to have made all of her fear, pain and uncertainty go away. Looking back, the intensity of his feelings surprised him. And the feel of her in my arms... pressed against my body.... Snorting, Chris snapped the train of his thoughts back. You're a sorry sap Larabee... the woman was distraught from not knowing if her son was going to be okay and you think it was a come on.
Headlights of a vehicle pulling into the drive caught his attention. Pulling open the front door, Chris stepped into the dim glow thrown off by the yard light to greet the tall slender man who had just driven Mary's car home.
"Nathan," Chris said, raising a hand to acknowledge JD, who had pulled up behind the car to wait.
"How's she doing?" Nathan said after nodding a greeting and holding the keys out to the dark dressed man.
"She basically went to sleep the minute we got home. Would of liked for her to eat something but I guess she needed the sleep more," Chris answered, fumbling with the keys just given to him.
Nathan was moved by the obvious worry that Chris was feeling. "Vin took the Judge and Evie home. Buck's at the hospital now. Me, Josiah, Ezra, and JD will take turns with them to finish out the night." Shrugging off the questioning look given to him, Nathan smiled slightly. "Guess we'd all feel better knowing he won't wake up in a strange place alone."
"Mary will appreciate it. So do I." Larabee intoned gratefully.
Grinning, Jackson started towards JD when he stopped. "Oh yeah, Vin said to tell you they got the guy. Seems his wife works at the hospital and when she got home, she saw the damage on the car and him passed out and put it together. Turned him in about an hour ago. This guy has already done several stints for DWI and lost his license for life." Nathan paused, noticing the angry clenching of Chris' jaw. He knew exactly how he was feeling. "At least there's a bright spot to it. None of the people died and I don't think he's going to be driving anything for a long time. Been booked on four counts of attempted murder plus the felony assault charges."
Dropping Mary's keys on the sofa table after seeing the men off, Chris grabbed his cup of coffee to refill it. It was going to be a long night he thought, dropping onto the couch and kicking his boots off. Leaning back to stare at the ceiling fan slowly rotating above him in the dim light coming through the curtains, Chris listened to the sound of the grandfather clock chiming ten times. The thought of Mary laying in a bed not twenty feet away from him popped into his head and caused an aching need to start in his gut.
Just get the hell outta here. The minute the thought popped into his head, Chris banished it. He couldn't do that. Since he had been around the rest of his team and the Travises, he had been slowly coming back to life. Any doubts about that had been dashed today. He felt way too much to be a dead man.
The sound of a muffled cry brought Chris to his feet. Dashing into the bedroom, he knelt by the side of the bed and laid his hand on the thrashing and crying woman sleeping there. Shaking her slightly, he called her name trying to wake her. "Mary..."
"Billy... oh God... my baby..." she continued to cry out, fighting against the arms trying to restrain her.
"Mary! Wake up... Billy is safe," Chris snapped at her, desperate to reach through the nightmare gripping her.
Catching him off guard, she suddenly sprang upright screaming "NO." The sound of her own voice woke her. Panicked eyes ran around the semi-darkened room and finally lit on the man sitting on the side of bed with his hands on her arms. With help from the residual light coming through the curtain, recognition slowly entered her eyes. "Chr...Chris?"
"Yeah, I'm here."
"Billy...." she whispered frantically.
"He's safe... It was only a dream this time," he soothed.
A whimper escaped her throat as she wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him to her. Pressing her face in the side of his throat, muffled sobs were finally released.
Rocking her gently back and forth, Chris let her cry. She needed to do it. That's why he had stayed. To be with her when the nightmares that he knew she couldn't escape came.
The intensity of sobs he could feel coursing through her body brought tears to Chris' eyes. They spoke of a pain that few knew and none should have to experience.
After a while the sobs quieted to hiccups. Finally, Mary began to pull back. Still sniffling and embarrassed by her breakdown, she couldn't quite look him in the eye. "I got... you... all wet," she stuttered, rubbing at the dampness on his shirt.
Chuckling at how small she sounded and the fact that his shirt was all she could think about, Chris raised her face towards him and ran his fingers across her cheek to wipe away the rest of the tears there. "Good thing I don't wear silk like Ezra does," he teased lightly.
The comment brought a flash of horror then a blush to her face. Chuckling again, he dropped a kiss on her forehead before pulling her to him again and burying his face in her hair. This embrace was for him — to allow him to let go of some of his own fear for her.
Parting, Chris ran his eyes over her pale face. Pushing the hair clinging to her face away, he could see how drained she was even in the dim light. "Why don't you see if you can go back to sleep now," he said in a hushed tone. "I'll be in the other room if you need me."
"Stay with me."
The whispered plea tore through him. "Mary...." he said, his voice a husky whisper. "You don't know what you're asking...."
"Please... I need you...."
"You need to sleep...."
"Hold me. Please?" she tried again.
Watching him, she could tell he was debating with himself. She knew he had finally relented when his shoulders sagged and he nodded once. Crawling over her to the other side of the bed, he stretched out and waited for her to nestle beside him before reaching down to throw the cover over both of them. Wrapping his arms around her, she felt him drop a kiss on her head before he murmured for her to go to sleep.
Starting awake, Chris was surprised to realize that he had also gone to sleep. The last he knew he had been laying there, trying to think about anything but the woman lying beside him. The feel of her next to him, the smell of her scent so close, served only to feed the aching desire in his soul that up to now he had been able to ignore. As soon as these thoughts popped in his head, he realized that there was no longer any weight on his shoulder and he could feel the chill of the night air where her body had been. Snapping his head around to try to see where Mary was, he was surprised to find her still on the bed. She was half lying, leaning on her arm, staring at him.
Watching her for a few seconds, Chris could feel that there was a tenseness about her that wasn't there before he had gone to sleep. He knew immediately what the tension was. He had been battling it for a long time.
Reaching up, Chris ran one finger down her jaw line. He could feel a tremor of desire shoot through her confirming his earlier suspicion. Cupping her head, he slowly drew her down to him, capturing her lips when she was close enough.
The intensity of the kiss left both of them shaking. Months of pent up mutual desire was communicated in it. Chris could hear Mary's ragged breaths as he hoarsely whispered, "Are you sure you want this?" He had to be sure that this was not simply a result of her earlier scare or that she felt obligated to him in some way.
Moving the rest of her body so that it was in contact with his, Mary moaned and captured his mouth again giving him his answer without saying another word.
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