Return to Innocence
By
Deb

SERIES/UNIVERSE: SG-7

DISCLAIMERS: M7 characters belong to Trilogy, et al, SG-1 characters belong to Gekko, MGM, and Showtime. Original characters (mainly Adriana in this story, though others are mentioned) are all mine ... don't mind if you borrow them, just ask first, give them back intact and give credit where credit is due. Mindy belongs to herself and my neighbors, though she still thinks my family an ... elong to her.

SPOILERS: For Mag7, all twenty-one episodes are fair game, along with my previous stories, More than Friends, A Light in the Distance, Under the Sun, Days of Yearning, Sun, Fun, and Ezra on the Run, Full Circle, and Open House; also all five seasons of Stargate SG-1.

WARNING: The usual, violence and language. Quite possibly the most smarmy story I've ever written, but I'll try to keep it from becoming too syrupy.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I've been wanting to write a story for some time about Vin as a child, but every time I thought I had something, I'd come across someone who had used it. And then, the Gou'ald, for once, came to my rescue. Imagine that.

Just as an fyi ... this series, this universe, ignores the events of the latter fifth season of Stargate SG-1. Specifically, Meridian and Revelation. Which also gets rid of Jonas Quinn in sixth season.



Part 56

At the Larabee house, no one had any inkling of just how ugly things would get. Not that Chris Larabee would have cared. His sister had just finished making dinner ... keeping it simple with sandwiches. He supposed he was lucky she didn't order out for pizza. They were sitting in the living room, keeping it casual for Kevin's sake. He had finished eating a few minutes earlier, devouring his sandwich as if he hadn't eaten in days.

Now, Kevin was watching tv with Billy, a child on either side of Mary as she finished her own sandwich. Thank God for TVLand ... Chris didn't know if he could answer any questions about the modern TV shows. If all else failed, there were still Scooby-Doo tapes somewhere around here. Although, he would then have to explain about a VCR. Or maybe not. Kevin came from a poorer family, and if they told him that it was something new, he probably wouldn't have a hard time believing that. DVD's, on the other hand ...

Mary had just led Billy and Kevin into the kitchen for a glass of lemonade each, while Chris got out the Scooby-Doo tapes, when the door opened. Elizabeth, who was helping him find all of the tapes which were suitable for a five year old boy, said quietly, "It's Buck and Drina, and Buck doesn't look happy at all." Chris rose to his feet, allowing his youngest sister to finish organizing the tapes.

Before he could say anything to his longtime friend or little sister, Kevin exclaimed from the kitchen, "Major Buck! Miss Drina!" A tiny blur sped right into Buck's legs ... or would have, if the major hadn't grabbed him and lifted him high over his head. A quick glance at Adriana told Chris that his sister wasn't particularly happy about something as well, but some of the shadows disappeared as she smiled at Kevin.

Mary left the kitchen with a glass of lemonade in each hand, while Billy carried a third. Mary said, "Buck, he just ate ... if you turn him upside down, you get to clean up the mess." Buck responded with a mock pout as he turned Kevin sideways and pretended to gnaw on the side of the child's neck, making the little boy giggle. Chris watched as his old friend's arms tightened around Kevin. Something had upset Buck badly.

"You know, Buck and I haven't eaten yet ... why don't I make us a couple of sandwiches?" Adriana suggested. Which was about as subtle as a gunshot, but another glance at her told Chris that the young woman was in no mood to be subtle. Which probably meant JD was the source of distress for both Wilmington siblings. Buck managed a weak smile and a nod, though Chris was willing to bet he wasn't hungry.

"I'll help you. Elizabeth, why don't you take the boys outside? No running around, you'll make yourself sick that way," Mary suggested, looking at both boys. Billy started to protest, then saw Buck's face more clearly. Instead, he reached over and took Kevin's hand, quietly leading the younger child from the house. A guarded expression had appeared on Kevin's face, one that made Larabee's heart ache.

Mary and Adriana went into the kitchen, while Elizabeth followed the boys outside. She looked worried, and Chris couldn't blame her. Once the boys were safely out of earshot, Buck explained quietly, "It's JD. The damn kid won't take 'no' for an answer." That was standard JD. He was persistent, even when he should back down. Buck proceeded to explain to Chris, Nathan, and Rain what happened before Buck and Adriana left the compound.

Rain was the first to speak, lightly stroking Mindy's soft coat, "It seems to me that JD hasn't learned that sometimes the best thing you can do is shut up and back off. I think he's probably sorry for what he did, but that was probably the worst thing he could have done. And Adriana managed to control her reaction ... didn't take his head off? He's damn lucky." Nathan didn't speak ... just looked worried.

"You got no idea how lucky he was, Rain. I've seen my baby sister really rip into people, when they touch her and she don't even know they're there. Hell, when I felt her tense up, I was ready to knock him through a wall," Buck growled.

Chris remained silent, quietly sipping his beer. Buck closed his eyes, leaning back against the sofa. Unwittingly, that put him right beside Mindy. The border collie immediately began to lick his face, sensing how troubled he was. Buck managed a halfhearted laugh, reaching up to pet the dog. The major said softly, "And all through it all, I'm thinkin,' he ain't the enemy. This is JD!' But dammitalltohell! Why can't he just let us all calm down?"

"Right now, he's thinking only of himself and the way he feels, Buck. Probably, he's thinking about how alone he is, and that makes him resent Kevin even more," Chris explained with a sigh. He had actually been where JD was before. He had a pretty good idea what was going through the boy's mind. This actually came up during his psych evaluation, when he 'shot' an innocent bystander by accident, a young mother with two small daughters.

They knew JD couldn't leave something alone ... they probably should have seen this coming. This part, at least. The trouble was, Chris didn't have the patience or the desire to deal with the boy at the moment. Ever since he saw Josie and Drina, Kevin huddled against Drina's body, and heard about the two men chasing the little boy, scenarios kept chasing each other through the colonel's mind about what could have happened.

And every time Chris thought about what could have happened to his brother in the time he was away from JD ... he wanted to flatten the two bastards who had scared that child, and he wanted to flatten JD. Because even if Kevin hadn't gone to the bathroom alone, someone could have taken him from JD's side, without the corporal even noticing his absence. Because he didn't want to notice it, because he wanted Kevin to disappear.

"Then we may want to think about somethin' else," Nathan put in. Chris and Buck both looked at him as Mary and Adriana returned to the living room. The medic continued, "Sounds to me like JD is spoilin' for a fight. If the general decides to let him go tomorrow, JD may decide to come here." Shit. Nathan was right. And since JD would be off base property, the general couldn't tell him not to come to the Larabee home.

The general would probably strongly advise him to stay away, but a lot of people had strongly advised JD on a lot of things over the last few years, and he didn't always pay attention. However, it was Mary who said quietly, "Then we deal with that problem when it shows up. Because if JD is told, or even advised, not to come here ... then he will. You know he's just as headstrong as any one in this room."

"Coming from you, Mare," Adriana replied dryly, "that's saying a lot." Mary stuck her tongue out at her best friend, and everyone laughed, relieving the tension that had been growing in the room for the last several moments. Adriana handed a plate to her elder brother, then eased herself down to sit beside him. She said, "But she's right. So, I'll say this, and get it out of the way. Chris, do you want us to stay here tonight?"

It took Larabee a moment to figure out what she meant, then Chris nodded. She meant a united front. Josiah and Ezra were still at the compound, and they were needed there. But Buck and Adriana were both finished for the night. It was up to Nathan and Rain if they would stay. Nathan said softly, understanding this as well, "Rain oughta be sleepin' in her own bed, but we'll be back tomorrow morning. United front." Chris nodded his acceptance and understanding. Rain was pregnant, and Nathan was very protective of both his wife and their unborn child. He would have done the same thing in Nathan's position. Chris hoped there wasn't a confrontation the following morning. He didn't know how much more his team could take.



Part 57

Eventually, the little ones came back inside, though both boys kept looking at the adults warily. Kids weren't stupid. Adults often liked to think so. But kids were a helluva lot smarter than people gave them credit for. They could sense trouble, could sense tension in the air. Buck remained in the living room, while Chris and Mary tucked the two boys in. Mindy had crawled down from her perch on the sofa to lie across his lap, and rest her head in Adriana's.

Over the next few hours, the adults talked softly in the living room. None of them approaching the subject of Vin's change or JD's reaction. Sometimes, it was hard for Buck to believe only a full day had passed since SG-1 brought the little boy back. So much had happened in that time. And though his body felt leaden with exhaustion, his mind continued to spin. Long after the adults said good night, long after Nathan and Rain left, Buck continued to sit up and think about what had happened during the last day and a half.

The sound of tiny footfall brought back long-forgotten memories. He thought at first one of the boys was getting a drink. Several moments passed and no return trip. Buck frowned, growing concerned. He got to his feet, careful to avoid waking Mindy, who was stretched out beside the recliner where Buck had been resting, and Adriana, who was sound asleep on the couch. He paused just long enough to tuck the blanket a little more securely around his sister, then headed in the direction of the bathroom.

He quickly realized why there hadn't been a return trip. Little Kevin was hunched over the toilet, his small body convulsing. Buck quietly closed the door behind him and walked over the shaking child. Kevin raised his eyes to Buck, presenting the face of a very miserable child, and whispered, "I throwed up. I didn't wanna wake Billy or Miss Mary or Chris, 'cause they need their sleep." Buck flushed the toilet, then wet a wash cloth.

"You think you're just about done?" he asked softly, washing the hot little face. Kevin nodded, though he obviously still didn't feel very well. Buck finished the clean up, then pulled Kevin into his arms. He almost gasped as Kevin snuggled against him, remembering Adam do the exact same thing when he was sick. Buck whispered, forcing the memories back, "Well, let's sit here a few more minutes, just to be safe. Okay?"

There was a muffled 'okay,' as Kevin rested his head against Buck's broad chest. The major responded by gently caressing the sweaty hair, pausing every few minutes to plant a gentle kiss on the top of Kevin's head, and rubbing the boy's back. There was an occasional whimper from the child, but it seemed the nausea had run its course. After about half an hour, Buck whispered, "Think you'll be okay to go back to bed?" There was a bare hesitation, then a faint nod.

Buck eased himself to his feet, bringing the child with him. Kevin wrapped his arms around Buck's neck, and the major took the opportunity to check for a fever. He didn't seem to have one ... in fact, he seemed cooler now. Reassured, Buck carried the little boy back to his room. Billy was still asleep, and Kevin whispered very, very softly, "Major Buck? Could ... couldja stay with me?"

He had spoken so softly, Buck almost didn't hear him. But once the request was made, and Buck understood it, nothing could have kept him away. Buck answered, pulling the child a little tighter to his chest, "You bet I will, Kevin." He lay down on the bed first, so that Kevin was resting against his torso. Kevin twisted himself and turned himself, until he lay curled on his side, his head resting just under Buck's chin.

For the first time, Buck could understand why JD had such a hard time believing this was really their Vin. But Buck's reasons were slightly different. As Kevin slowly started to relax, and his body became heavier against Buck's chest, the major found it hard to believe that when he first met the adult Vin Tanner, he resented that young man. How could he have resented him, when it was so damn easy to love the child?

Jealousy? Fear? An unwillingness to believe that anyone could care about Chris Larabee as much as he did? All of the above. And yet, as time passed, and Buck got to know Vin, the jealousy and resentment, the fear and the unwillingness, were all replaced with friendship and trust. And eventually, Buck allowed Vin Tanner into his heart, alongside Chris and JD. He thought back to only a few months earlier, when Chris found out Vin was his brother.

Buck remembered what he told Chris. About saying the words. The words were just as true for Buck as they were for Chris. Or Josiah. Or Nathan. He thought about Nathan's concern, that they would hear about something from Vin's childhood that he didn't want them to know about. He thought about the way things would be when they got their Vin back. And he decided it was worth the risk.

But before the major could say the words, Kevin whispered, more asleep than awake, "Love you, Major Buck." The big major fought back tears. Damn that boy. Damn him for being a mind reader whether he was an adult or child. Damn him for breaching all of Buck's defenses, just by being who and what he was. Damn him for the hurt look he got in his eyes, the one which he thought no one else saw, when someone mentioned JD.

And then Buck damned himself, for acting just like JD when he was scared. Instead of damning the precious bundle in his arms, Buck held the boy a little tighter and whispered, "And I love you, Kevin. More than you'll ever know." The words were true, of course.

They had been true for a long time, ever since Buck's resentment died away, and he found in Vin Tanner a little brother. But those words weren't spoken, not to another man, at least. But to a child? To a child, it was not only permissible, it was encouraged. To tell them, often, that you loved them. An adult needed to hear it, but brothers worked a little differently as adults than they did as children.

Buck said again, needing to say it before their Vin was returned to them as an adult, "I love you, so much. And if it takes the rest of my life, I'm gonna make sure nobody ever hurts you again." He couldn't protect the little boy forever. He could only protect Vin when the guide was of a mind to let him. But he would do what he could for his little brother. Even if that meant protecting him from his other little brother.

Buck began rubbing Kevin's back, as he had when they were in the bathroom, and the child burrowed deeper into his chest. JD. What exactly would happen when their Vin returned to them? Buck knew his friend well enough to know if Vin remembered his time as a child, JD would have a lot of groveling to do, and it occurred to Buck to encourage JD to take groveling lessons from Will Richmond, since it seemed the man made a habit of angering his wife.

One thing was sure ... while Vin was a forgiving man, he was no doormat. And while he could have tolerated JD for failing to watch his back, as an adult ... Vin had no use for anyone who allowed harm to come to a child. For himself, Vin could forgive JD. For a child ... that was a different story. As if hearing his thoughts, Kevin mumbled, "Major Buck? I don't like that mean man. The one who was s'posed to take me to Miss Mary."

"I know, son," Buck soothed, as Billy sat up. For the first time, Buck realized the older boy had been awake all along. The eight year old crawled up onto the bed beside Kevin, and gently patted the back of his head. Buck bit back a smile, and said, "I know, and what's more, we're gonna make sure he knows exactly what he done wrong. For now, it's time for you to go to sleep." Kevin settled once more, and Billy slid off the bed.

"Should I get my mom? She always wakes up when I get out of bed and go to the bathroom," Billy asked. Buck thought about asking the boy to tell Mary that Kevin had been sick, but it was then that a figure blocked the light from the hallway. Billy said, "Mom, Kevin got sick earlier, and Buck brought him back. Otherwise, I woulda taken care 'a him." Mary entered the room, sitting down on the bed beside Buck, wrapping her arm around Billy as she did.

"I know you would have, honey. He doesn't have a fever," Mary murmured, checking the sleeping child's cheeks and forehead. She chewed her lower lip thoughtfully, as if trying to decide what to do next. She asked after a moment, "Buck, you were gonna stay with him a while?" Buck nodded. All night, if need be, and the captain continued, "Okay. We'll call Janet in the morning. It may have just been the excitement of the day, but I don't want to take any chances."

That was what Buck was thinking as well. Mary continued with a faint smile, "You'll be a good daddy one of these days, Buck Wilmington. Shhhh ... it's okay, honey. Go back to sleep." Buck glanced down as Kevin's blue eyes slid shut once more.

Mary leaned forward and gently kissed his forehead, then slid off the bed. She told her son, "Buck's gonna take care of Kevin now, sweetheart, you can go back to sleep. I'm very proud of you, you've done a good job of taking care of Kevin." Buck smiled as Billy's face lit up at the praise, and could have sworn the boy grew at least another inch from pride alone. Mary kissed her son's forehead and settled him back under his own blankets.

With the boys settled and Mary quietly returning to the room she shared with Chris, Buck finally found himself relaxing. He remembered many nights, holding Adam 'til they both fell asleep ... Adam often stayed with him, while Chris and Sarah were out of town. Married couples needed time away from their children, after all. With the memory of that beloved child in his mind, and a living, equally beloved child in his arms, Buck finally fell asleep.



Part 58

Things were quiet for the next few days. Kevin was fine in the morning, though Janet was told about the episode. It was agreed that Buck and Adriana would return to the SGC to get their work done, and return at night. Mindy would remain with Chris, Mary and the boys. Kevin had taken to giving her hugs, with all the strength in his small body, hugs which the dog patiently endured. No, not endured, because after each hug, Kevin received a face-washing from the dog.

SG-1 was still with the Tok'ra. Skaara had agreed to go through Klorel's memories, according to Josiah, when the anthropologist came to see Chris and the others one night. Ezra asked if anyone wanted to lay odds on how much longer O'Neill would be able to keep his patience with the often-arrogant, but more benevolent cousins of the Gou'ald. Adriana reminded him that this was O'Neill they were discussing, and there was no challenge in that bet.

According to Josiah, General Hammond was keeping JD too busy to challenge Buck or anyone else again. It seemed the confrontation had a witness, in the form of Rafael Martinez, who promptly informed the general. Both of 'em. He was worried for the two siblings, afraid that if the chico, as he called JD, made trouble, there would be no turning back. Chris knew Rafael Martinez well enough to know he didn't often intervene in the workings of other teams. So when he did ... both of the generals took notice, and so did Chris.

By the morning of the fourth day, Chris had begun to relax, begun to believe they might have actually caught a break for once. Kevin wasn't sleeping as much, and could often be found playing with Billy when the older boy came home from school. Chris would come to realize later, that was a mistake. As they had all week, Buck and Adriana stayed overnight, while Nathan had gone directly to the SGC, so Janet could make sure both mother and baby were all right. Rain was having a hard time, and Nathan wanted to take no chances with her health or the baby's.

Kevin was even more energetic than he had been for the last few days, and he was practically dancing as Mary and Adriana checked him over. Elizabeth waited in the corner, arms folded over her chest, exchanging a rueful look with Billy. She was closest to the door, and had to move quickly as it opened. Chris was arguing with Buck about whether they should all ride together, since Janet asked to see Kevin today, and everyone was going to the SGC.

Chris looked up as the door opened, to reveal JD Dunne. The boy breezed into the house, as if nothing had happened, and said, "Well, come on ... you're all a bunch of slow pokes." He stepped toward Kevin, saying, "Have you ever seen such a bunch of slow pokes in your life?" He was talking to thin air ... as JD approached, Kevin darted behind Adriana's legs. The archaeologist put her hand on the top of the child's head, her eyes fixed on JD.

But it was Mary who said quietly, "Back away, JD, you're scaring him." A second glance at his brother confirmed this was, indeed, true. Kevin was peeking around Adriana's legs, his blue eyes wide with fear as he looked at the man who had ignored him in the SGC. JD just ignored her, moving closer to Kevin, and Kevin retreated back behind the safety of Adriana's legs once more. Mary repeated, "JD. You have to let him come to you."

"Oh, what do you know? This is Vin Tanner, after all!" JD retorted, and for the first time, Chris realized the boy was drunk. His words were slurring, and he was uneven on his feet. It was only seven thirty in the morning! The second thought to cross the colonel's mind was, that's why he's scaring Kevin. Not for the approach, or what he did, but because somehow, Kevin knows about people who are drunk!

Thank God he didn't see me after Sarah and Adam were murdered. Chris shook it off and said quietly, "JD. You're frightening the boy. He can smell the liquor on your breath, and it's scaring him. Back ... off." He saw a flash of recognition in Adriana's eyes and she moved in front of Kevin protectively. It proved to be unnecessary, for JD turned to face Chris instead, his hazel eyes flashing with alcohol, anger, and hurt.

"You ... go ... to ... hell! From the moment that little brat showed up, he's been all you care about! Well, I am tired of it. I am a member of this team, and I deserve to be treated with respect. Do you know what General Hammond has had me doing the last four days? Scrubbing toilets. Cleaning up after people. And do you know why? Because my so-called best friend had to go to him, carrying tales!" JD retorted.

"Well, that's one wrong piece of information. Buck didn't say nothin' to General Hammond about you grabbing his sister and generally making an ass out of yourself. He didn't have to. And as for you being treated with respect? I'll do that when you start earning it again, Corporal Dunne. You showing up at my house at seven thirty in the morning, drunk as a skunk and scaring children, is not gonna do it!" Chris fired back.

JD didn't back down, retorting, "Oh, and why not? You did the same thing! You ain't any better than me! Least I'm honest, instead of tryin' to turn some sniveling little brat into my dead son, much less a sniveling little brat who's supposedly your brother!"

Chris felt rage tear through his soul, and for the rest of his life, he would wonder where he got the self control to keep from knocking JD through the wall. Perhaps it was his own fear that he had been doing just that, these last few days. Instead, he replied quietly, "That's not your concern. General Hammond placed Kevin in my care. After you proved yourself singularly incapable of watching out for him."

Now the rage from that betrayal began returning. Over the last several days, Chris had time to calm down, or so he thought. But the colonel was finding he hadn't calmed down at all. Only forced the situation to the back of his mind. Chris continued, "What the hell was wrong with you, JD? You were mad at the rest of us, so you took it out on Kevin? What kind of man are you? You keep saying you're a man, but this ain't the way a man acts!"

"Oh, and what would you know about how a man acts? Huh? My so-called best friend throws me over, first for his bitch sister, then for a little brat who SG-1 says is Vin. You fawn all over him, as if he's your lost son ... yeah, it keeps getting pushed into my face that the brat looks just like Adam, only with lighter hair, so it has to be Vin! That is not Vin! Do you understand me? He's not Vin!" JD yelled.

It was then that things spun out of control. Things started happening quickly, too quickly for Chris to regain control. JD growled, "You want me to be nicer to that brat? Huh?" He spun away, grabbed Adriana's shoulders and physically threw her to one side, taking away Kevin's shield. Though taken off guard by the force of the shove, and JD's drunken strength, Adriana hit the ground rolling. Kevin cried out, even as Adriana rolled to her feet, and ran to her. The little boy stood in front of the archaeologist protectively, his chin raised in defiance.

"You leave her alone, you ... you ... bully! I don't like you! You're mean! You ... " Kevin began, then gave a piercing scream. He fell to his knees, arms pressed against his abdomen, and his face ashen. Kevin screamed again as he hit the ground, "Chris! Chris, it hurts!" Adriana was on her knees immediately, scooping the child into her arms. Chris physically pushed JD out of the way as Adriana rose to her feet once more, the recalcitrant cartographer forgotten.

"Chris, he's burning up! Mary and I checked him a minute again, he was just fine!" Adriana said in a low voice. Chris eased the little boy from her arms, brushing his cheek against the boy's forehead. She was right. He was burning up. Kevin whimpered, tears of pain starting to roll down his small cheeks, and Chris kissed his forehead, trying to calm himself and the little boy. What was happening to him, he had been fine just a minute ago? What could have possibly happened to make this happen?

"I'm calling Janet, telling her that we're on our way! Buck, you bring Mr. Big Shot. Drina, grab a blanket. No, wait. Billy, you grab a blanket for Kevin, Drina, here are the keys ... get the car started!" Mary called out. Chris paid no attention to what was going on around him, only to the whimpering child in his arms. He was barely aware that Buck had grabbed JD by his forearms when Chris went to Adriana's side, that Buck was still holding the boy. Right now, the drunk corporal was the lowest on his priority list. Though, in the back of his mind, Chris was quietly planning to have JD reassigned when this was over, if he didn't straighten up and fly right.

"Got the keys. Elizabeth, you're with me, get the backseat ready, then open up Buck's car. I want you to drive it, take my brother and JD with you. Mindy, too. I know, JD's not my favorite person at the moment, either, but Chris and Mary and Billy need to stay with Kevin. Bucklin?" Adriana asked, picking up the lead from Mary. Chris looked up as Buck nodded grimly, steering the now-weeping young man from the room. JD kept sobbing that he didn't mean to hurt anyone. Mindy barked once and followed Elizabeth.

Billy returned as Mary finally connected with Janet, tersely answering the doctor's questions. The colonel didn't pay attention to that conversation. Instead, Chris knelt down as Billy approached with the blanket, helping the little boy cover Kevin's trembling body. When the conversation was finished, Mary said, "Janet's waiting for us, she has a security detail assembled at the main gate, to act as our escort. Adriana, Elizabeth is driving the other car? Buck, JD, and Mindy are with her?" Adriana nodded as she came back inside, her own expression grim.

Mary nodded, continuing, "All right. Let's go, I'll get the door behind you." Billy darted out a head of his mother and Chris, as Elizabeth finished cleaning out the backseat of Mary's car. Chris followed Billy, with Mary and Adriana bringing up the rear. Chris carried Kevin to the car, and was distressed to realize that the little boy wasn't even whimpering any more. His small face was screwed up in pain ... he was still conscious, and in too much pain to even whimper.

As Chris slid into the backseat, still cradling Kevin against his body, Mary whispered, "Janet thinks she knows what's happening, thinks his organs are starting to return to adult size. We've got to get him back to the compound, she has some ideas to buy us time. She also said she would contact General Hammond, to bring back SG-1 on the double. We have a few days, but ... things just went critical."

Looking at the pained face of his baby brother, Chris could only agree. Hang on, little brother, he thought, as Adriana closed her own door and made sure everyone was buckled up, hang on, just a little while longer! And then, Adriana was revving up the engine, pulling out of the driveway. Kevin gave a soft little gasp of pain, and Adriana called back, "I'm sorry, baby, I'll try to keep from hurting you more, but we're gonna get you back to Dr. Janet. Just hold on!"



Part 59

Less than an hour later, JD Dunne was back in his own quarters, sleeping off the alcohol, while the rest of SG-7 was gathered in the hallway of the infirmary. Josiah and Ezra had been alerted to the situation, and they waited anxiously with the Tanner sisters and Josie Tanner. Josie was tucked under Josiah's arm. Nathan was inside the infirmary, with both Rain and Kevin. But it was Janet who emerged at last, looking tired.

"I've given him something for the pain. I've run some tests, and like I feared, Kevin's organs started returning to their normal size. That's the bad news. The good news is, we have some time left. General Hammond sent a message to SG-1, and he paged me while I was examining Kevin. Skaara came through with the information, and they're on their way back. Given the situation, the general is gonna forego the briefing. As soon as SG-1 gets back, they'll come here, tell you how to reverse this, and then you'll be on your way. Until they get back, Kevin will be sedated, so he can rest," she explained.

She paused, then went on, "At the moment, his life isn't in danger, but he's in terrible pain. That's one reason for the sedation. The other is, I'm hoping if he relaxes, that will slow down the change in his body. His body chemistry was scrambled a little when he was changed, which is why the organs started to return to their normal size now. The adrenaline rush triggered a chemical reaction."

"And as long as he's tense ... " Carly put in, and Janet nodded. Carly asked next, "So, what do we do in the meantime? And what about that brat?" The contempt was thick as she mentioned JD. Buck had deposited the boy in his room, and at the moment, he didn't even want to think about the kid. He was angry with the kid, angry and disgusted. Not just at JD's latest screw-up, but at getting drunk before it was even eight am.

"Leave Corporal Dunne to me ... and to Mr. Tanner when we get him back. Dr. Frasier, what about visitors? Should the child have visitors, while we wait for SG-1 to return with the information?" General Hammond asked, approaching the small group. Janet Frasier nodded, her eyes flickering to Chris, who was slumped against the wall. Buck's old friend looked like hell. Not as bad as Buck had seen him, but that wasn't the point.

"Yes. Colonel Larabee, I think he'd like it very much, if you sat with him," the CMO replied. That was all Chris needed. He pushed himself to his feet and went inside the infirmary, putting his hand on Janet's shoulder in a quiet 'thank you.' Janet covered his hand with her own, then Chris disappeared inside. Janet continued, "Kevin will be all right for the moment, so I'll check on Corporal Dunne."

General Hammond nodded and Dr. Frasier left, heading toward the quarters. There was silence for several moments, then Josie said quietly, "At least he took a taxi to Chris and Mary's house, instead of trying to drive there." There was another long silence, then Josie added, "Not that this helps. He had an ugly confrontation with Will Richmond last night, over something unrelated to this. Or so Will said. I think that's why he decided to go out and get drunk. I'd noticed JD had been too quiet lately."

"Hell, Will can drive most people to drink on one of his good days, and Will hasn't had a good day ever since they got back to earth. And when he's miserable, he makes everyone around him miserable, you know that, Josie!" Adriana put in. That drew a laugh, mainly because it was true. Buck put his hand on his sister's shoulder, both to comfort her and to comfort himself. He heard about the final part of the conversation between his sister and JD from Rafael Martinez. How she acknowledged she had hated them both for Buck shutting her out.

But she wouldn't ever say that. To her mind, that was unacceptable behavior, so she dealt with it the only way she knew how. And once again, Buck realized how lucky he was, to get his sister back. He had known people who would have never given him a second chance, after making the mistakes he had. And no matter what his sister said, he knew he had screwed up. Buck said now, as Adriana's hand came to rest over his own, "You know, I've been thinking. I need to have things out with JD."

She nodded her understanding, and Buck continued, "I was wondering. Would you be interested in coming with me, when I do? Watch my back ... and make sure I don't kill him?" Now, Adriana smiled, her entire face lighting up. She patted his hand with another nod, and Buck continued, "I'm worried that's exactly what I'm gonna do, baby sister. I'm afraid after the last few stunts he's pulled, I'll kill him."

Again, his sister patted his hand, replying, "Get in line, sweet brother. I think Chris has decided he's got first dibs on pummeling the kid, after his two sisters and Josie." Buck had only to look at all three Tanner females to see how right she was. And he knew Chris. The major put his arm around his sister's shoulders, drawing her closer, and Adriana added, "Besides, I'll need you to watch my back ... and make sure I don't kill him."

Buck just laughed and hugged her tightly, kissing the top of her head. He said, resting his cheek against her dark hair, "I just keep thinking about that little boy, DeeDee. Cuddled against me, after he was sick. I haven't felt like that since Adam. You know, Mary told me that she thought I'd make a great daddy one of these days. Can you imagine that? Me, as a daddy? Being responsible for another tiny human being?"

"Of course I can imagine it, even if I didn't have the imagination my goddess gave me. She's right. You'd make a wonderful dad, just like you were a wonderful uncle. You've got so much love to give, Bucklin. And the woman who finally wins your heart ... well, she better deserve you. Because if she ever hurts you, I will personally kick her ass ... and don't think I can't do it!" Adriana retorted.

Buck hugged his sister again, amazed. In an odd sort of way, while Buck's relationship with Adriana had improved dramatically in the last few months, it seemed to him that the little boy in the infirmary actually gave him back his sister. And not for the first time, he thought, despite the troubles with JD, that this might have ended up being a blessing in disguise, for all of them. Including Vin, who was given a second chance at the childhood he missed after Julia's death.

Buck had no doubt whatsoever that for him, his sister would kick ass and take names, as the saying went. Strange, how he never really thought about it before. He always knew what he would do for her ... how far he would go to protect her. But he never really considered how far she would go to protect him. What she would do for him. Buck wasn't entirely sure how Vin's transformation played a hand in Buck rediscovering his sister ...

But he knew it did. Somehow. And when they got their Vin back, when he was the quiet, sometimes mysterious, mischievous guide and sharpshooter whom they all loved ... yes, loved.

Buck would tell him that. He would tell him that just by being that wonderful, playful, protective little boy, Vin had truly given back Buck's sister to him. And that was when he faced a second truth. Soon, very soon ... as soon as SG-1 returned with the information they received from Skaara, he would have to say good-bye to Kevin. True enough, the little boy would remain within the adult, but Buck knew he would miss the little boy, more than he had ever believed possible.



Part 60

Oh ... God. Did he really drink himself under the table the night before? JD Dunne lifted his head from the pillow with a groan. Then whimpered as the sound made pain explode inside his skull. Okay. He would so not do that ... ever again! JD rolled onto his back, closing his eyes tightly against the overhead light. What the hell had he been thinking, drinking so much? He remembered the first time he got this drunk, and groaned again.

"Well ... it's alive. Sort of," a familiar voice said from the general direction of the door. At least, JD thought it was the direction of the door. His head wasn't screwed on very tightly at the moment. Though, it was screwed on tight enough for a flood of memories. JD groaned again, remembering the confrontation at the Larabee home in bits and pieces, and hoped it was just a dream.

No such luck, as a second voice added softly, "Though that's subject to change, if he makes the mistake of crossing Chris again." Adriana. JD opened his eyes. Well, she was all right. He hadn't hurt her when he pushed her away from the boy. He closed his eyes again, and Adriana continued, "Though I think he may decide to play possum, at least until you boys are supposed to go back to the beginning."

Huh? What the hell was that supposed to mean? Back to the beginning? Buck took up the interrogation (for that was what it was starting to feel like, an interrogation one of the old movies Josiah liked to watch), saying, "SG-1 got the answers they needed ... Skaara came through for them. When they get back, we're heading to the planet where Vin was turned into a child, so we can turn him back before he dies."

Well, that made sense ... before he dies??? JD came fully awake then, his eyes shooting open. Buck was simply regarding him with an expressionless face, and Adriana was standing at his side, with an equally expressionless face. The archaeologist said quietly, "His internal organs are starting to grow back to adult size. Janet's theory is, the adrenaline surge did a number on his body chemistry, which was already screwed up, and that's why it happened now." Now, when JD had hit rock bottom. Because there was no other way to explain what he had allowed to happen over the last few days.

That wasn't what Adriana had said, but it lingered in the air, nonetheless. JD groaned and allowed his head to drop onto the pillow as the last of the memories fell into place. He already felt nauseous from the excessive amount of alcohol he had consumed the previous night. It began when he encountered Will Richmond, after spending the last several days cleaning out the toilets in Cheyenne Mountain ... all of the toilets. With a tooth brush.

The archaeologist could be a nice guy, when he wanted. However, he was in lousy mood from what had happened planetside. Seemed his wife still wasn't speaking to him ... or allowing him into her bed ... and his daughter was afraid of him. He was angry with himself, and took it out on JD. The cartographer couldn't remember exactly what they argued about, but he did remember it was the final straw.

JD resolved to go out and get stinking drunk, in the immature hope that somehow, it would dull the pain and the guilt he had been feeling ever since his confrontation with Buck and Adriana. Well, he got stinking drunk, all right. So stinking drunk, he took a taxi to the Larabee home, told off Chris, and scared the little boy. From what Buck said, there was a possibility the little boy was dying.

The major said, bringing JD's attention back to the present, "Wouldja like to tell me what the hell's wrong with you? Jesus, JD! Of all the people on this team, I expected Chris to have a hard time with this situation, and you to be ecstatic about not bein' the youngest any more!" Ouch, and double ouch. JD still couldn't bring himself to believe that the boy in the infirmary was really Vin Tanner, but not for the reasons of earlier. No, he just couldn't allow himself to believe that he had treated a friend so badly.

Not that he had any reasons before. No, his atrocious behavior had been fueled by one thing, and one thing only. Jealousy. JD looked over Adriana, who was leaning against the wall, arms folded over her chest. Her face was expressionless, until he looked into her eyes, and saw a raging demon there. Awwww ... fuck! Too late, JD remembered something Nathan said, not long after Vin nearly died during the wagon train from hell. How, when Vin's safety was threatened, Adriana's common sense ... and civility ... went right out the window.

Kinda the way JD's common sense went right out the window, the minute his pride was affected. The cartographer sighed, "I was jealous." Buck looked over at his sister, who mouthed a rather obvious 'ya think?' back to the major, and JD continued, "I was jealous, and ... dammit! I was wrong, okay? I screwed up, made a first rate jackass out of myself, is that good enough for you? I was wrong!"

"No. It's not good enough. We know you were wrong ... we know you made a jackass out of yourself. We saw that for ourselves ... hell, the entire base saw that. A few civilians even decided to take advantage of the situation. . Tell us something we don't know. Like ... why? Why you were jealous, why it took you to get drunk off your ass before you finally started acting like a human being. Tell us, JD. Tell us why you would do those things!" Adriana exclaimed, shaking her head in disgust and frustration. Tell us why you would ever turn on Vin like you've done in the last week.

JD started to answer, only to remember what she said. They knew he was jealous. They knew he made an ass of himself. They knew all that. What they didn't know was why. And JD wasn't sure if he could tell them, because he wasn't even sure of the answers himself. They deserved answers. All of them. So, instead of opening his mouth and inserting his foot all the way to his hip, JD stopped and thought.

He didn't like what he came up with. He knew why he was angry. And that made him angry with himself, which he took out on Kevin. JD replied quietly, "I was jealous. I wasn't the baby any more, I wasn't special. And all I could think about was my mother working her fingers to the bone while I was growing up ... about how much I wish y'all had been there. And Vin ... Vin was getting the chance I never got."

He shook his head, whispering, "It wasn't fair. Why did Vin deserve a second chance, and I didn't? Why did it have to be him? Why not me? And that made me mad at myself, because whatever else we didn't have, Mama and I had each other. After Julia died, Vin didn't have nobody. He was all alone. And I hated myself, for being so jealous of a little orphan. But I couldn't help it. You left me out, Buck."

Fury flashed in Buck's dark blue eyes, and he pushed himself off the wall, starting for JD. Awww ... shit. He just had to go and open his mouth, didn't he? JD braced himself for the punch he knew he was coming. But again, Adriana intervened, saying, "No, JD. You left yourself out. You chose to remain here, and let your feelings fester. Do you honestly think Buck would have said no if you wanted to go with him, Josiah, and Ezra to the toy store?"

JD squeezed his eyes shut, though not because of the hangover this time. No, this time, it was because of another memory, one which he had pushed down with ruthless determination during the last few days. It was a memory of Buck getting ready to leave for the toy store with the other two, and asking JD if he was coming along. Not pushing, not nagging ... just asking if JD wanted to come with them and have some fun.

She was right. Buck and the others hadn't shut out JD, he had done that all himself. JD opened his eyes, to find the truth in the gaze of his best friend's sister. Buck and the others saw that JD was having a hard time dealing with Vin's transformation, and instead of mollycoddling him, like he was a ten year old, they had left him alone to deal with his out of control emotions. As they would have done for anyone else, until the hurting member was ready to accept help.

And how would JD ask for help, when he wouldn't even acknowledge that he had a problem? He wouldn't have accepted any help from Buck, or the others. He didn't have a problem; everyone else had the problem, everyone else was the problem. Especially after he crossed the line. Jesus, after all the time he spent with Buck and the Greer ladies, after all the time he spent with Billy, JD should have thought about how much harder it was for a little one to hold it in. And he did think about it ... that was what hurt most.

He knew the little boy had to go to the bathroom desperately, and since he couldn't lash out at the people he was angriest with, he took out his anger on a helpless child.

He knew exactly how humiliated Kevin would be. But the one thing he forgot was, Kevin Tanner was nothing if not independent. That was what threw him. He remembered the moments of sheer panic, after he finished his meaningless conversation with someone he didn't even like, when he turned around. Only to find Kevin gone. JD's guilt started to grow in that moment, even as he tried to say it wasn't his fault.

Josiah had tried to make him see the error of his ways, by reminding him of the trust Vin once held in him. But JD fought it, fought the guilt, and told himself repeatedly that it didn't matter, that Kevin wasn't the same person as Vin. That was a lie, too. JD had seen those pictures of Adam Larabee, he had seen the pictures of little Kevin Tanner, in the months and weeks before Julia Tanner's death.

He knew the little boy SG-1 brought back with him was Vin Tanner. He knew it. He denied it, even as he knew it, because he couldn't face what he was doing to this child-version of one of his best friends. JD started to acknowledge all this, when Sgt Jones called over the intercom that there was an incoming traveler. Buck and Adriana looked at each other, and Buck just said, "SG-1's back."

Adriana nodded, and the siblings bolted from the room without another word to JD. The cartographer stood in the center of the room briefly, battling between resentment at being abandoned yet again, while another part demanded that he quit whining, and go find out what SG-1 found out. The latter won. And as he followed the Wilmingtons, Adriana turned and said in a quiet voice, "You can be thankful for one thing ... Nettie isn't around to skin you alive."

Nettie? Aw hell ... that would have been just plain ugly. Because if there was anything scarier than Josie, Elizabeth, and Carly Tanner on the war path, it was Nettie Welles on the warpath. And JD knew if anything got Nettie Welles in an uproar, it was someone messing with one of her girls ... or with her boy. Yup, Drina called that one dead to rights ... he was damn lucky Nettie didn't know!

Continued...



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