Return to Innocence
By
Deb

SERIES/UNIVERSE: SG-7

DISCLAIMERS: M7 characters belong to Trilogy, et al, SG-1 characters belong to Gekko, MGM, and Showtime. Original characters (mainly Adriana in this story, though others are mentioned) are all mine ... don't mind if you borrow them, just ask first, give them back intact and give credit where credit is due. Mindy belongs to herself and my neighbors, though she still thinks my family an ... elong to her.

SPOILERS: For Mag7, all twenty-one episodes are fair game, along with my previous stories, More than Friends, A Light in the Distance, Under the Sun, Days of Yearning, Sun, Fun, and Ezra on the Run, Full Circle, and Open House; also all five seasons of Stargate SG-1.

WARNING: The usual, violence and language. Quite possibly the most smarmy story I've ever written, but I'll try to keep it from becoming too syrupy.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I've been wanting to write a story for some time about Vin as a child, but every time I thought I had something, I'd come across someone who had used it. And then, the Gou'ald, for once, came to my rescue. Imagine that.

Just as an fyi ... this series, this universe, ignores the events of the latter fifth season of Stargate SG-1. Specifically, Meridian and Revelation. Which also gets rid of Jonas Quinn in sixth season.



Part 51

About three hours after Chris and Mary left with Billy, Kevin, and Mindy, Nathan Jackson followed with his wife and Elizabeth Tanner. The youngest Larabee/Tanner was still in shock over what had happened to her brother ... and, if the truth were known, Nathan was still rattled. But where earlier, he had been worried about learning something Vin didn't want them to know about, Nathan was now more worried about how he was reacting to the little boy.

"I knew about the Gou'ald ... knew they could do some pretty whacked things. But turn a grown man, literally, into a little boy? That's not supposed to be possible," Elizabeth said for the fourth time in the last five minutes. In his rearview mirror, Nathan glanced back at the nineteen year old. There were times when she talked way too much for him to believe she was really Chris and Vin's younger sister.

Until Mary pointed out that Josie Tanner, who had raised Elizabeth, was a far cry from both Evan Larabee and the assorted foster parents Vin had over the years. Something which Nathan should have considered. And then he smiled, thinking of the way Elizabeth had taken to both women, the ladies of her two brothers. While Mary and Adriana were best friends, Elizabeth, like Casey, brought the child out in Mary, the wild teenager she was once.

And Adriana stood back a little, smiling in amusement as Mary and Elizabeth romped like a pair of young hoydens. Almost, strangely enough, as if she was older than either of them. Which she was ... older than Elizabeth, at least. And while she was younger in years than Mary, there were times when she seemed older. Just as Vin often seemed older than Buck, though the major was eleven years the guide's senior. There were times, though, when Vin seemed older than all of them. Even Josiah. Even, at times, older than General Travis and General Hammond. Older that Bra'tac? Maybe, but that was pushing it.

"We'll get him back, Elizabeth," Nathan told the girl, once more repeating what he had said three times previously. He thought about Josiah and his patience level, then realized if things went as Josiah hoped, this girl would be his stepdaughter. Which ... would make ... Josiah ... Vin's uncle by marriage? Oh, Lord have mercy, trying to figure out all these family relations was making Nathan's head hurt something fierce!

Rain said softly, "Of course you will. And in the meantime, Elizabeth, you can get to know your brother all over again. I keep telling Nathan, this is a gift, strange as it may seem. You're being given a chance with Vin that you never had before. And I know, if I had that same chance, I would take it and enjoy it." His wife was making sense, of course. And after nearly losing him earlier, Nathan was more inclined to listen to her.

Nathan smiled to himself, thinking about his conversation with Kevin in the infirmary, after Josie and Drina found him. Then he laughed, remembering Kevin's question about making his skin darker. Yup, it wasn't findin' out somethin' that Vin didn't want to know that caused him problems any more. It was comin' to love this child, only to lose him when the adult returned. But that was stupid.

Because within the man was the child. Nathan told Elizabeth, "We're not only gonna get our brother back, Elizabeth, but we're gonna get him back soon. And even when we get our Vin back, Kevin will still be there. Kevin grew up, but he didn't go away. He's still inside Vin." He's still inside Vin. Why was that so ... important? Nathan frowned, trying to focus on that and driving at the same time.

After a moment, he gave up and focused only on driving, since they were only minutes from the Larabee home now. Elizabeth had fallen silent, at least for a few minutes. Then she asked softly, "Nathan? Wh ... wh ... how do you think we'll get Vin back? Carly said that even though strange things happen all the time at the SGC, nothing like this has ever happened before. How can you get him back if you don't know what to do?"

"Because 'give up' ain't in your brother's vocabulary. Chris Larabee ain't about to give up on his baby brother, for any reason. And in case you're wonderin,' Elizabeth Madeline, ain't no way he'd give up on you, neither. That just ain't the way he's made. Ain't the way neither of 'em is made," Nathan answered firmly as he pulled into the driveway. He continued as he drew the car to a stop, "Mind you remember what Janet tol' you now, girl."

"He's sleeping so much, because the change took so much energy out of him, and because things haven't stopped going haywire for him since he arrived at the SGC yesterday. And if I know what's good for me, I won't wake him up if he's asleep. Yes, Nathan, I remember what Janet said before we left," Elizabeth said with that exaggerated patience known to teenagers dealing with adults who thought they were stupid. She unbuckled herself with a deep sigh.

Nathan blinked, hearing the tone and hearing the echo of his own voice, so many years ago. Wait a minute. This wasn't supposed to happen until after he was a parent! The baby wasn't set to be born for another several months, Nathan's daddyhood was a long way off yet!

Unless you counted his dealings with the sometime recalcitrant members of his team. Which led to another question. What, exactly, was happening with JD? Oh, Nathan knew about the boy's jealousy as he and Rain followed Elizabeth to the front door. He would have been deaf and dumb to miss that, especially after JD's stupid stunt. But the medic couldn't help wondering ... had JD finally figured out that he had screwed up, or was he still blaming Kevin?

That could go either way, especially with JD. The next thing which occurred to him was, what would the other do? Would they continue to avoid him? Adriana, Nathan wasn't as worried about, since the general had her helping Charlotte Richmond with the data they collected planetside. And Charlotte would keep Adriana out of trouble. He hoped. But then, before Nathan left with Rain and Elizabeth, Josiah told him that Charlotte threatened her husband with a crutch in the crotch, if he didn't behave.

Josiah. Nathan didn't think he had ever seen Josiah this angry or disappointed in JD. Vin and JD were his boys, along with Daniel. That didn't mean he thought they could do no wrong. But those boys were special to him. Everyone knew that. So, when Josiah was as ... obvious ... in his fury with JD as Chris himself, Nathan knew the kid was in big trouble. But that brought up something else.

Buck hadn't even asked about JD once, in the hours between Kevin's rescue and the time Nathan left the SGC. That was totally unlike Buck. After Chris and Mary left with the boys and Mindy, Buck retreated to his own quarters, citing paperwork. Buck hated paperwork, with a passion. He had to be ordered to do paperwork, usually by Chris, General Hammond, and General Travis. All at the same time.

He popped out once, looking like hell, and went off in search of his sister. Nathan didn't know if he found her ... or if she was able to get away from the paperwork hell which was created by the swift dash to the Stargate. It was truly ironic, because Nathan could remember Buck sitting beside JD's bedside like a status, totally ignoring his sister's attempts to comfort him and take care of him. Looked like more than one thing had come full circle.

Which left Ezra. According to Josiah, the negotiator had thoroughly enjoyed his time with the little boy ... and when Nathan left the compound, Ezra had retreated behind his protective defenses once more. JD had caused more damage than he thought, if he did realize he had done any damage at all. Nathan wished he could have convinced Ezra to come with them, but the Southerner had pulled a disappearing act.

As Nathan, Rain, and Elizabeth approached, the front door opened to reveal Chris. The colonel smiled at their surprised expressions, murmuring, "I had Billy keeping a lookout. He wanted to do something, since Kevin's asleep. Just the three of you?" Nathan nodded as Rain and Elizabeth entered the house. Elizabeth's face went slack ... then she moved slowly to the couch, where Kevin slept, his head resting on Mary's thigh, and Mindy was curled up at Kevin's feet.

Mary looked up and smiled as Elizabeth knelt in front of the little boy, and Nathan realized it was the first time she had seen her brother in his, as O'Neill called it, his kiddified state.

Chris explained softly, "Kevin had a nightmare about the closet." Oh. That explained everything. But Chris went on, his eyes burning with rage, "Mary woke him up, rocked him a while ... he finally fell asleep again about half an hour ago. And every time he wakes up, he cries out for Julia." Nathan, only seven when his own mother died, could understand. When he would wake up in the mornings, in those first few months, he would forget at first that his mother was gone. But those moments never lasted long.

"Chris?" Billy whispered, creeping into the room. The little boy's movements were exaggerated by his attempts to be quiet. Nathan could feel a smile trying to break free, but he controlled it. The little boy looked at his mother, then at Kevin, then finally back at Chris and asked, "Chris, would it be okay if I went outside?" The situation was starting to take its toll on Billy as well, that was obvious from the anxious looks he kept shooting at Kevin.

"Billy, how 'bout if you and me play some football?" Nathan suggested. He knew he wasn't on the same level as Chris with the child, but that was quickly forgotten as the little boy's eyes lit up. Billy nodded eagerly, and Nathan continued, "Well, let's go find the football. Maybe when Kevin wakes up, he'll feel better and can play with us." He kissed Rain, winked at Mary ... all before the eight year old literally dragged him into the next room to find the football.



Part 52

Elizabeth Madeline Tanner didn't really care if she ever saw JD Dunne, ever again. She was past angry, past furious, past enraged. Neglect or abuse, it didn't matter. He caused harm to her brother, and for that, she would never forgive him. Especially when she thought about her first glimpse of her elder brother, now so terribly young, so terribly vulnerable ... so very tiny and helpless. And then the rage threatened to overwhelm her.

But there was no room for rage as she entered her eldest brother's home to find Kevin sleeping peacefully on the sofa. His head was pillowed on Mary's lap, as she gently brushed her fingers through his light brown hair. At his feet lay Mindy, her chin resting on his ankles. Elizabeth fought back a grin, seeing the border collie's tail thump against the cushions of the sofa as the young girl approached.

She reached forward and scratched the puppy behind her ears and Mindy tilted her head into Elizabeth's hand, licking the underside of her wrist at the same time. When the puppy was satisfied with her gift, she lay her head back on Kevin's ankles, and Elizabeth looked up at Mary, who just smiled. She kept brushing her fingers through the child's hair, her expression serene. Kevin sighed very softly and murmured, "Mama?" Mary didn't answer and Kevin didn't seem to need an answer. Mary's touch seemed to be enough of an answer for the little boy.

Elizabeth looked up at her eldest brother's intended, asking softly, "Do you need me to get dinner started?" Mary blinked, as if she hadn't even thought about dinner yet, even though it was almost seven pm, then she nodded. Elizabeth eased herself to her feet, her fingers brushing lightly over Kevin's shoulder, and continued, "Then leave it all to me. Don't look so worried, Mary, I won't blow up your kitchen."

"Tell that to your brother," Mary deadpanned. Elizabeth was on the verge of asking which brother, when Mary looked down at the sleeping child on her lap. Kevin whimpered again, head rolling on Mary's thigh as if he was looking for something or someone. Mary's expression changed from humorous to concerned immediately. She put her arm around Kevin's waist and pulled him up from her lap, so his head now rested against her chest.

Kevin reacted immediately, curling himself against Mary's body. The public relations officer kissed the top of his head, and Elizabeth asked softly, "Are you and Chris gonna have more kids?" It wasn't really any of her business, but the tenderness of Mary's expression took her breath away, as Mary cradled the child against her. Mary lifted her eyes from Kevin to regard Elizabeth thoughtfully.

"We haven't really talked about it, Elizabeth. He loves Billy, and for now, that's enough. I'm afraid if I even ask about other children ... there will never be a replacement for Adam. It can't happen, because there was only one Adam. And I'm not sure if he's ready to think about another child, without fearing he's betraying Adam," Mary replied. Elizabeth nodded her understanding ... and she did see what Mary meant.

In some ways, Vin's relationship with Adriana was much steadier than Chris and Mary's. They had a solid basis, nearly eight years of friendship, before they finally admitted they were in love with each other. They didn't have the baggage that Chris and Mary did either. While Elizabeth knew about her brother's near-miss with Charlotte (whom Elizabeth actually considered pretty cool, even though her husband was a loser of the nth degree), she also knew that it wasn't the same thing as Chris and Sarah, and Sarah's death.

But Mary was a stubborn woman, and she wasn't letting go. Now that Chris finally accepted that moving on wasn't a betrayal of Sarah, he wouldn't let go of her, either. And all Elizabeth could do, she of such limited experience, could do was hope that would be enough. Although it did occur to her, as she nodded and rose to her feet, that it was a good thing the Tanner/Larabee men fell in love with such stubborn women.

As stubborn as her two older brothers were, it was necessary for them to marry equally stubborn women. Women who would stand up to them if they thought their men were wrong. Who could apologize when they were wrong. That made her smile as she entered the kitchen, and came to a quick stop. Her breath caught in her throat, as she remembered the last time she was here. If she closed her eyes, she could see in her mind's eye Carly at the stove, trading barbs with Adriana as they made dinner that night, the night their biological father showed up. She heard Adriana's laughter and Carly cursing as she struggled to open that huge bag of flour. The one which ended up all over Adriana, Carly, and Elizabeth.

The night she truly came to hate Evan Larabee. She remembered his condescending attitude toward everyone and everything who was important to her. The soldiers and sailors, airmen and Marines she grew up with ... her family. And it was then that Elizabeth Tanner's world again tilted, as she came to understand that those men and women in the small Texas town where she grew up had included her in their family.

At the same time, she came to understand something else. Something equally important. Regardless of what she did after college, she would always be part of that family. Not just because those men and women had put themselves on the line for her, but because of her blood and extended family. Her elder brother actually served in the Armed Forces, Vin was a technically a civilian in support, while Mary was a captain.

But she knew she would go into Stargate Command after college, because the generals had entrusted her with a secret. Elizabeth Tanner might carry the Tanner name, but she hadn't learned yet to trust herself. Especially with the mother of all secrets, like Stargate Command. Josie Tanner had raised her to understand that some secrets had to be kept. Often to protect someone ... whether they were innocents or not remained to be seen.

Or, as her mother had said on more than one occasion, a matter of perception. Her mother also said that perception was often more important than reality. That was a very hard lesson for Elizabeth to learn and remember. A hard lesson for anyone to learn and remember, actually. Carly admitted it was difficult for her, holding her tongue where Claire Moseley was concerned. She never had much use for the preacher's daughter, and even less after Chanu choked Vin into unconsciousness while Claire did nothing.

But right or wrong, whether Carly liked it or not, Claire was Adriana's friend. And Adriana wouldn't tolerate her friends badmouthing each other. Elizabeth had only to think of her college roommates to understand. Sometimes, it felt as if she was growing up so fast, it scared her. Until she thought of Vin when he was her age. When he was her age, he had been a bounty hunter for three years ... had just met Adriana, and was probably in the hospital after being beaten up by Boudreau and his goons.

Vin. That brought Elizabeth's attention right back to the current situation. Current situation. Ha! Sounded more like a military operation than ... than what was really happening. And that was only because she still couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. Elizabeth was at an age where she was starting to glimpse that the world was far more complicated that what she had previously thought. But it was difficult to shift your mentality, even as young as she was. When she was a child, right was right and wrong was wrong, and that was that. There were no ambiguities. No areas of gray.

She was starting to see that wasn't the case, but it was hard to let go of that black or white mentality. Either one person was right, or the other one was. Now, there were some black and whites remaining. The Nazis, for one. No matter how you looked at it, they were still evil. And their followers, those who considered Adolf Hitler a great man, were just as evil. For Elizabeth Tanner, there was no room for compromise on that matter.

And on the matter of JD Dunne, there was no room for compromise either. She wouldn't say he was evil, not even as angry as she was with him right now. But he was wrong, and there were no two ways about that. More to the point, if he came near her brother until she calmed down, not even her friendship with Casey would save him from a severe ass-kicking. Her brother could have been hurt badly ... hell, he could have been killed!

Or worse. Elizabeth shuddered. Or worse. She knew how much worse things could have been. She also knew that while Kevin's scans came back clear, Janet was still worried about his health. As she acknowledged, after Chris and Mary left with the children and the dog, there was a possibility of complications. That was why she kept running scans. Kevin's body shrunk, but there was a possibility that his internal organs didn't shrink with him. Which would cause some major problems.

However, according to Janet, that hadn't happened. His internal organs did shrink, they were the normal and healthy size of a five year old boy. But she was still worried. That was what Janet did, Elizabeth decided. She worried about them, because it was her job. Her job to take care of them, just like it was Chris and Vin's job to protect the rest of them. Well, right now, Elizabeth was the big sister ... and she would take care of Kevin. Starting with dinner.



Part 53

After dealing with his own mound of paperwork, Buck Wilmington went out in search of his sister. He passed Nathan in the hall, as the medic was leaving with Rain and Elizabeth. He managed a hello and good-bye, but Buck's mind was on his sister. For reasons which he didn't entirely understand, Buck needed his sister, needed to be with her. He didn't try to reason it out, he was fresh out of rationalizations. And they weren't necessary, for he found Adriana, on her hands and knees, going through the data brought back by SG-3.

Things would settle, before another team went back through, with another expedition. Charlotte Richmond had been exempted from the briefing, due to her injury. Janet didn't want her moving around too much ... the possibility she would reinjure herself was too great at the moment. So, she was organizing the folders as Adriana sorted through them ... the elder archaeologist sitting in a chair and Buck's sister on the floor where she had more room.

The briefing was also why Charlotte's husband wasn't around. But even if he was, Buck wouldn't have cared. As angry as Buck was right now, he would have gladly given Richmond a fight, if that was what the belligerent lead archaeologist wanted. Instead, he heard Adriana say, "Hey Bucklin ... your timing is as impeccable ... well, never mind. Have a seat, you can help us." Buck joined his sister, completing a small circle, and sank to the ground at her side.

"Are you all right, Major Wilmington?" Charlotte asked quietly, tucking a strawberry blonde lock back behind one ear. Buck managed a weak smile, though it was lacking in energy, and Charlotte continued, "I'll take that as a 'no,' then. Why don't I give you this stack, since it's so huge. I know when I'm angry, I need something to occupy my hands ... so I don't end up killing someone. Slowly and painfully."

"Most often her husband, though not always. She threatened to bop me upside the head with a crutch earlier," Adriana contributed cheerfully. Charlotte scowled at her, and Buck's sister added with a teasing grin, "She keeps glaring at me. I think she's practicing to be as good at it as Chris is. Even if some of that glare of his isn't as effective. Not after ... " Here, her voice trailed off, and she looked away. But not before Buck saw the fury in her eyes.

"Say it, angelface," Buck said, using one of the few nicknames which both he and Adriana liked, even though she protested she didn't look like an angel. Buck almost smiled, remembering how he explained that he called her angelface, because of all the angel kisses on her face. Her freckles. Oh, how she hated those freckles! She thought they made her look ugly. But as the years passed and Adriana grew up, the freckles became less noticeable.

"Say what, Bucklin?" Adriana asked, distracting him from those long-ago memories. But not from his suspicion that one of her parents told her that she was ugly. If Chris was right, when he told Buck about things Adriana remembered, then it wasn't her mother. Chris believed that Katrien merely pretended not to love her daughter, in a bizarre attempt to protect her from her father. That one just made Buck's head hurt.

"Say that JD fucked things up big time. Say that he should get his ass kicked to the moon for ... say I should get my ass kicked to the moon," Buck retorted. Adriana looked up from her sorting at that, her face twisting into a puzzled frown. And Buck couldn't stop himself. He continued, the words coming out in a rush, "Hell, I've made that boy my responsibility from day one, from the first time he started bugging Chris about joining SG-7. This has to be just as much my fault as it is his, 'cause I obviously screwed up."

"Now just how in the hell do you figure that, Bucklin? Last time I checked, JD was an adult. Not a green recruit any more, but a grown man. And he was nineteen years old when he got here, which means while you probably taught him a lot, I really don't think you taught him to let his pride get the better of his intelligence and loyalty. Because even if he doesn't buy that Vin and Kevin are one and the same, he still did a damn stupid thing!" Adriana fired back.

Buck started to answer, but Adriana wasn't finished. She fumed, "For heaven's sake! You made his safety your concern, but you aren't responsible for his moral and ethical screw-ups! Got me? You didn't make the decision to keep talking when a little boy needed your attention, you didn't make that choice. You aren't responsible. Maybe things could have been handled better, when Kevin was found and brought back to the base. Maybe you could have done something more about JD feeling left out. But dammit, Buck, I will not listen to you tearing yourself down for something that ultimately was someone else's decision. And maybe, just maybe, JD could have done something himself about feeling left out."

"Adriana's right, Major," Charlotte said quietly, drawing the attention of both siblings, "believe me, I know. I've been there. You can make mistakes, and people often do. But in the end, you only have responsibility for the choices you make. You can't control how other people react to those choices. Corporal Dunne could have accompanied you to the toy store. I would think, after all this time, he wouldn't need to be asked. He stayed here and let the anger fester."

Damn if the woman wasn't talking sense. But Charlotte wasn't finished. She went on, "I've made mistakes, Major. Mistakes so big, I didn't think anyone would ever forgive me, much less the people I hurt. After I made those mistakes, I made another choice ... to try to atone for what I had done. And hope that would be enough. I could have done any number of things, after I lost my daughter. I could have taken any number of roads, and the road I did take almost got innocent people killed. It took me a long time to forgive myself."

Buck barely had time to notice that Charlotte referred to that lost child as 'hers.' Not 'ours,' and then she was saying, "But Major, other people had choices as well. Choices which I couldn't control. You can't blame yourself for Corporal Dunne's actions. You can't even blame yourself, really, for his resentment. Because he made the choice to let it fester, instead of confronting you. He made the choice to take out his anger and resentment on a helpless child. He made the choice to ignore Kevin. Not you."

"Yeah," Buck said hoarsely, "just like I made the choice to ignore my little sister, after she was hurt protecting JD's ass. When he almost got them both killed. I made the choice to throw her into the general's arms, I was such in a goddamn hurry to get to JD. I made the choice to keep throwing away my sister's chances. I made the choice to ignore her, when she first got here. Oh yeah, I made plenty of choices."

"And so did I, Bucklin. I could have given you another chance, after we rescued General Travis. I could have remembered that you went to your father's house, to the house of a man who had ignored you and your mother for all those years. You went there, for me. A child you had never met ... a child whom you chose to make part of your life. Are you gonna blame yourself for my choices, Bucklin? For the choices my mother made, for the choices our father made? And at what point does it end?" Adriana asked.

"Hell yes! You was tryin' to protect yourself, angelface! I hurt you! Not just once, but time after time after time! And I can't blame myself for what that prick did to you, but I can sure as hell blame myself for lettin' it continue. I was so goddamn intent on protectin' you from my wild bachelor ways, it never even crossed my mind that you might need protectin' in other ways. The goddamn signs were in front of me ... and I chose not to see them," Buck retorted.

And there it was. Why he had come here. It wasn't just his rage with JD, though that was a part of it. It was his own guilt and grief, that he had let down one of the people he loved most in the world. Just as badly as JD let down him, and Vin, and Chris, and the others. Just as JD had failed to watch Vin's back, and ignored a child in need, so had Buck. And he knew what he needed from his sister. He knew what he had been hoping to find, what would allow him to face Chris and little Kevin. And his sister gave it, without question or reservation.

It didn't matter, that he had comforted her, and been strong for her earlier. That was his job as her big brother. One he had neglected for too long. It didn't matter that they had gone far in repairing their relationship, over the last several months. None of that mattered. He cupped his sister's face in his hands, tracing her cheekbones, as he did when she was a child. He knew what he needed from his sister.

And so did she. His small, almost fragile-looking baby sister wrapped her hands around the back of his neck, drawing his head to rest on her shoulder. She whispered, her voice aching with compassion, "Oh, Bucklin. I'm here. I'm right here." Buck allowed his hands to slide from her face, around the back of her neck, before sliding down to her back. He buried his face in her neck, feeling her arms wind around him protectively.

If his sister, whom he had hurt over and over, whom he had taken for granted, could forgive him, then maybe he could find the strength to forgive JD. Find the strength to help the others forgive JD. And Adriana had forgiven him, a thousand times over. But right now, Buck's fury overwhelmed anything else, including any desire to forgive. And he needed his sister's strength. Strength which she shared freely, in her love for him.



Part 54

Major Samantha Carter couldn't help wondering what was new in the SGC. Skaara was preparing himself for accessing Klorel's memories. Teal'c was meditating. Daniel was catching up on his reading ... and Sam didn't even want to know what the colonel was doing. Probably catching up on his sleep, as he had muttered something about not getting any shuteye recently. None of the team got much sleep lately. And that was probably what she should be doing, but Sam was too wired to sleep.

Teal'c felt it would likely be at least a few days before Skaara was ready to subject himself to Klorel's memories. Sam hoped it wasn't any longer than that. She had an uneasy sense that there were complications looming on the horizon, in part because of Janet's concern. Before she and the others left on their second mission, Janet confided that she wanted to run tests on the boy as often as she could ... every eight hours or so, if possible.

No problems had turned up, so far, but Janet had never encountered a situation like this before. None of them had. And at the moment, they were talking about the life of a young child, a little boy who would grow into a member of the SGC. Janet's main concern was that the change would create problems inside Vin's body. It made sense, of course. Vin's physical body shrunk to that of a five year old child, but did his internal organs? It looked like they had, but they had no way of knowing what the long-term effects of the machine would be.

It was possible that the body would remain that of a five year old, while the insides matured to those belonging to a young adult. If that happened ... Sam grimaced. If that happened, they would lose Vin. For good. Sam didn't know what she could do to stop that, but she would figure out something. She wouldn't lose Vin. That was as unthinkable as ... well ... as losing Daniel. Sam shuddered at that.

But for now, all she could do was wait. Wait, and hope. Wait and pray. That Skaara was strong enough to face the memories of the people whom Klorel had killed in the name of Apophis and the other false gods. That little Kevin was strong enough to weather whatever storms were ahead. The door slid open and Sam was on her feet immediately, relaxing when she saw her father. The former Terran general asked softly, "How are you doing, sweetheart?"

"Not so good, Dad," Sam admitted honestly, "I'm worried about Skaara, I'm worried about Kevin." At Jacob's confused look, Sam added as an explanation, "Kevin. Vin. We've been calling him 'Kevin,' to avoid confusion. He hears references to the other Vin, his adult self. It keeps him from asking any questions that we can't answer. He thinks the other Vin is out on a mission, and that's why he hasn't met him yet."

"You know, I don't know Mr. Tanner very well ... he's pretty quiet. I think he worries some of the other Tok'ra. They're not used to such a quiet Ta're," the general said. Sam grinned, all too aware of how vocal Colonel O'Neill could be, especially when he was irritated. Jacob Carter continued, "Why don't you tell me about him? I'd like to know a little something about this young man."

Sam smiled, leaning back against the wall. She said softly, "I'm not really sure where to begin. Like you said, he's quiet. Lets his actions do the talking for him, most of the time. I think you probably know, he's one helluva sharpshooter." Jacob nodded and Sam continued, "And he's smart. Oh, Dad ... he's so smart! He didn't get much of an education, because of the way he grew up. Janet, Mary, and I have been filling in the gaps. Mary with the reading and writing, me with the science and math, and Janet with the biology."

Jacob was silent for several moments, then he asked, "Have you ever met his father?" Sam responded with a Look, and Jacob chuckled, "I'll take that as a yes, then. Never could figure out, once I found out he was Larabee's son, how a father and son could be so different. For all my differences with Mark ... I would have never left him to fend for himself when he was a child. I heard a little about what happened at the Open House, the last time I talked to George. I heard about what happened with Larabee."

"He's a bastard," Sam said flatly. There was no other way around it. He was a bastard. He didn't deserve either of his sons or either of his daughters. He didn't deserve his wife, or his brother, from what she heard about Alex Larabee. Her father nodded, not speaking, and Sam continued, rising to her feet to start pacing back and forth, "You know what he did, Dad? He kept making noise about how he considered himself above anyone who served in the military, because God knows we're all just a bunch of Neanderthals. Then he comes to the Academy grounds and picks a fight, by calling Julia Tanner a whore."

She shook her head, adding, "He meant Jessica Tanner. Because she's the one who gave birth to Vin, Carly and Elizabeth. But to Vin, Julia will always be his mother. And the insults finally took their toll. Vin confronted him, and then collapsed. I don't understand this, Dad. How can you do that to someone? How can you be such an unfeeling bastard to your own child, to the child whom you helped to create?"

"I don't know, Sam. But you were telling me about Mr. Tanner," Jacob replied. His eyes glowed briefly, then Selmak added, "And we wish to know why Skaara would return to the memories of Klorel for this man. He refuses to speak to us about what transpired during those years, but for this man, he will remember." There was genuine confusion in Selmak's voice, and Sam guessed that her father was unable to explain it to his symbiot.

"Well ... Skaara doesn't know Vin that well. Most people don't. He will only let a select few into his heart. But I think one of the things that always ... I think it's because Vin just accepted Skaara. Didn't regard him with revulsion, when he found out about Klorel. Didn't pity him. He treated him as an equal, with respect, and that meant a lot to Skaara. It meant everything to him, that he wasn't treated as a victim, but as a survivor," Sam replied.

She shrugged, adding, "That's just a guess. I don't know Skaara that well, but it's what makes the most sense." Sam paused, then added with a sigh, "Not that much else makes sense. The others in SG-7 ... Colonel Larabee was having a very hard time at first. Mainly because Vin is his little brother. Until someone pointed out that he was sort of getting what he wanted. A chance to know Vin when he was a little boy."

"Be careful what you wish for," her father observed and Sam nodded. Her father continued, "What about the others? I would imagine Major Wilmington, from what I've observed of him, was ecstatic ... and I'm sure Private ... I mean, Corporal Dunne ... was just as pleased about no longer being the youngest." Here, Sam shook her head, feeling her lips thin as she remembered what happened just before they left. She still couldn't believe that.

"Major Wilmington is absolutely ecstatic. Seems Kevin looks a lot like his nephew Adam. But JD? You know Daniel never really liked the kid. The colonel always said it's because JD and Daniel are too much alike. JD ... he resents Kevin for now being the youngest. Hates him, even. I don't know, Dad. I'm worried about all of them. I'm worried about Drina, because of the way she holds things in," Sam replied.

"It makes sense ... that Corporal Dunne would resent the child. He's no longer the baby, not longer has that 'specialness' to him. Sibling rivalry. But surely he doesn't hate the boy! I've been around SG-7 to know how much Mr. Tanner means to Corporal Dunne. I truly believe he would kill for that man, Sam," her father replied. Sam just shook her head, still pacing back and forth across the floor.

"Not this time, Dad. Not this time. General Hammond asked him to escort Kevin to the infirmary, so Janet could make sure he was all right. He made that child's safety JD's responsibility," Sam answered.

"I take it things didn't work out that way?" Jacob asked, and Sam shook her head, feeling her mouth twist into an awful parody of a smile. Her father continued, his voice very quiet, "What happened, Samantha?"

"Well, they started out for the infirmary ... but about halfway between the office which General Travis uses and the infirmary, JD found someone and stood talking to them for a good thirty minutes, ignoring Kevin when he said he needed to go to the bathroom. Kevin couldn't hold it any longer, and went to find the bathroom himself. He was heading back, when two civilians ... they were gonna hurt him, Dad. A little five year old boy, and they were no better than the Gou'ald!" Sam spat in fury.

"Very foolish on the part of the boy, Samantha, but hardly unforgivable," Selmak answered. Sam sighed and stopped pacing, sitting down beside her father once more. There was a long silence as the major tried to explain to Selmak what JD had done wrong, but it proved to be unnecessary, for Selmak had been using that time to converse with her father. Selmak continued, "I see. There are many levels to this, and not just a foolish boy acting out of spite. This is a matter of discipline, as well as pride."

"Among other things," Sam admitted with some exhaustion. She was tired. She was so tired, and worried about Kevin, and everything else that was going on. At the moment, aside from sleep, all she wanted to do was get the information from Klorel's memories, and then go back to Earth. She hoped they had found Kevin ... hoped he was all right. And hoped that somehow, Buck Wilmington could find the strength to forgive his little brother/best friend/protege, because right now, she didn't have that capacity. It was hard enough to forgive herself for her own part in this mess ... much less JD Dunne.



Part 55

Eventually, Charlotte shooed Buck and Adriana out of her office. It was time for them to head over to pick up Mindy (though Charlotte teased the siblings that they would end up staying over night with Chris and Mary), and Charlotte needed to get something to eat and find Tansy. Not necessarily in that order. And she was unpredictable ... too unpredictable to figure out what she would do next.

Not that Alex Larabee tried. It gave him a headache. He had a hard enough time with his younger brother and two nephews, figuring out what they would do half the time. Throw in the Wilmington siblings, and you could kiss any semblance of sanity good-bye. Good thing Alex was just observing, instead of doing. He didn't have the energy, and he had used up more than fifty mortal years worth of dispensations to take care of little Vin earlier.

So, he was quite content to watch and observe. Charlotte saw them as far as the infirmary, where her little girl was still playing with Cassie Frasier, then the two siblings continued on. It was good to see them getting along. The last few years, he and Sarah had despaired of Buck and Adriana ever finding their way back to each other. Both were damn stubborn, when they wanted to be, as stubborn as Alex's own boys.

But now, they walked through the halls of the SGC, Buck's arm wrapped around his sister's shoulders, with both of Adriana's arms around her brother's waist. They looked tired, but a little less tense, as their work was complete for the day. They would be back, of course, because there was more to be done while Chris was on temporary leave. But Buck's paperwork was out of the way, and they had helped Charlotte with her own paperwork. Alex watched in amusement as Buck Wilmington worked his usual magic with a woman, making the still-angry young woman laugh and relax.

And just when it looked like the siblings might actually catch a break ... JD Dunne left his quarters. Alex almost forgot that he lacked the energy to do anything about the boy. White-hot rage tore through him, but he calmed himself. The unfolding drama was more interesting. JD whispered, "Buck." Alex shivered as the major's face froze. For a moment, the spirit hoped that it would end with that, that the boy would understand it was best to walk away for the moment. Alex should have known better. JD said hoarsely, "Buck, I ... "

"Not now, JD," Buck retorted, starting to pull his sister forward. JD made his fatal error then. As Buck and Adriana started forward, the young woman looking between the pair worriedly, JD grabbed Adriana's arm. Alex would have groaned, if he could have. He couldn't even look away as Buck forcibly removed JD's hand from Adriana, pushing his sister behind him protectively. The major hissed, "What part of 'not now,' do you not understand?"

And Alex was very proud of Adriana, for not flinching at JD's touch. He should have known better, remembered that touch was still a tentative thing with her. As she had told Charlotte, the walls around her heart were crumbling ... but that was with Vin. JD was still slowly being allowed greater access. But the boy had forgotten that, among other things, as he retorted, "Dammit, Buck, we'll settle this now!"

As Alex's younger nephew would have said ... aw hell. Buck retorted, "Oh, we do, do we? Says who? You? You forget, boy, you ain't got a lot of credibility with me right now! And what the hell did you think you were doin,' grabbin' DeeDee's arm like that? Huh? You're damn lucky you still got your nuts!" Ouch. Two points to Buck. The major continued, "You can just wait until I don't feel like knocking your teeth down your throat."

"Dammit, I'm sorry! I should have never left the kid alone!" JD cried out. Buck had started to turn back to his sister, whose eyes continued to flicker between the pair with more than a hint of concern. Alex, who could read minds and hearts, saw immediately what was in hers. Adriana was worried about her brother and his relationship with his 'little brother.' And yet, she held her tongue. Alex knew she was just as angry with the boy as her brother was ... both of them. So why didn't she put her own two cents worth in, as the saying went?

He would find out about that later, he was sure. For now, Buck Wilmington growled, "The kid? The kid has a name, boy! It's Kevin! Vin! You didn't just ignore a five year old orphan, that was Vin! Our friend, our brother! The man who's saved our asses more than once! The man who would risk his very soul for any one of us. And you ignored him as if he didn't even matter! Now, you got the gall to grab my sister's arm, when you know she's still havin' a hard time with people touchin' her? What is wrong with you? Where's your head, JD, besides up and locked?"

Buck wasn't finished, either, continuing, "You gonna call Janet a liar? Me? Chris? That little boy is a dead ringer for Adam, except for the hair. That is Vin, JD. And you think about this. You think about the way Vin used to look at you. And then you think about the way he's gonna look at you now. Knowing that you turned your back on him, on a defenseless child, and nearly got that boy hurt in more ways than we'll ever know."

Alex heard references to both of his nephews having laser beam glares, but the laser beams being leveled at the boy from Buck Wilmington was just as deadly. The major concluded, "So you think about that, boy. Think about it, long and hard." Buck spun around and headed away, quite possibly the first time he had ever turned his back on JD Dunne. Alex released a sigh of relief, having feared the confrontation would turn physical.

JD looked at Adriana, who was still standing where Buck left her, and asked softly, "How did you do it? How did you get through those first years here? Watching your older brother ignore you and seem to care only about somebody else. Never you? Why didn't you hate me? Why didn't you hate both of us?" Adriana tore her eyes away from her brother's retreating back, a resigned expression on her face.

And her answer took Alex's breath away ... at least, it would have, if he had any breath to take. In a soft, sad voice, the young archaeologist replied , "Who says I didn't hate you? Both of you?" She shook her head and added, "I kept it to myself. I knew better than to share that with anyone else, even Chris and Vin. But that didn't take away from how I felt. It never does." With that, she turned and headed after her brother, leaving JD to stare after her with stricken eyes.

Be grateful, boy, Alex thought, that tendency of hers to hold back just spared you from the main eruption. For the moment. But if you keep pushing ... you'll see it. And you'll never forget it. He wondered if the boy realized that, as he couldn't see into the boy's mind, for reasons Alex didn't fully understand. He wondered if JD realized just how thin the ice was for him at the moment. His answer was answered only a moment later when the young corporal's face hardened, and he growled, "This isn't over. Not yet." Damn. This will get ugly.

Continued...



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