SERIES/UNIVERSE: SG-7
DISCLAIMERS: M7 characters belong to Trilogy, et al, SG-1 characters belong to Gekko, MGM, and Showtime. Original characters (mainly Adriana in this story, though others are mentioned) are all mine ... don't mind if you borrow them, just ask first, give them back intact and give credit where credit is due. Mindy belongs to herself and my neighbors, though she still thinks my family an ... elong to her.
SPOILERS: For Mag7, all twenty-one episodes are fair game, along with my previous stories, More than Friends, A Light in the Distance, Under the Sun, Days of Yearning, Sun, Fun, and Ezra on the Run, Full Circle, and Open House; also all five seasons of Stargate SG-1.
WARNING: The usual, violence and language. Quite possibly the most smarmy story I've ever written, but I'll try to keep it from becoming too syrupy.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I've been wanting to write a story for some time about Vin as a child, but every time I thought I had something, I'd come across someone who had used it. And then, the Gou'ald, for once, came to my rescue. Imagine that.
Just as an fyi ... this series, this universe, ignores the events of the latter fifth season of Stargate SG-1. Specifically, Meridian and Revelation. Which also gets rid of Jonas Quinn in sixth season.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: In an interview I read while in Vancouver for Gatecon last year, Alexis Cruz mentioned that he would like to see Skaara grow up, especially in regards to his relationship to Jack O'Neill. With everything Skaara had been through, Alexis pointed out, it was very unlikely that he would still react to O'Neill in the same way as when he first met him. Well, I'm not a writer for the show, obviously, and it's highly unlikely Alexis will ever read this story, but here's my contribution to that growing up.
"What can I do to help?"
Those were the most welcome words Jack O'Neill could have heard at that moment. Everyone was worried about the little guy currently missing. And as soon as Skaara heard they were here, he insisted on seeing them. Jacob Carter himself escorted them, and while it was always good to see Jacob again, the former general wasn't so pleased about why they were here.
He had never heard of this device, but immediately assumed they had tried to use it, which was how Vin got turned into a child. Sam quickly informed her father what really happened, which led to an apology from the general. Huh. Maybe the world really was coming to an end, since the former general spoke with his own voice and Selmak's at the same time. A Tok'ra actually apologized.
They found Skaara helping to train Tok'ra in forms of combat which were known to the Abydans, but not to the Gou'ald. The young man smiled when he looked up and saw them, but not even the smile could take away the haunted expression in his dark eyes. He called a break to the practice and led them to whatever the Tok'ra form of a cafeteria was. It wasn't until they were all seated and eating that O'Neill finally explained they needed Skaara's help.
The young man answered immediately, without question, "What can I do to help?" Jack looked at Daniel, and Skaara's brother-in-law immediately began explaining what had happened to Vin, and what they learned on their second trip. Skaara's eyes grew progressively darker and he replied, "I know of this machine. My f ... it was the idea of Apophis. As you have learned, Dan-yel, it is to fulfill the wishes of the user. But Apophis used it for an even darker purpose. He used it as an instrument of betrayal."
He lowered his head, and when he looked up again, Jack almost expected to see the glowing eyes of Klorel staring back at him. But there were tears in the brown eyes, instead. The young Abydan whispered, "While his 'guests' were entranced by the fulfillment of their desires, Apophis would kill them. He would have had no problem with killing a five year old child, as I'm sure you remember."
There was a bitterness in his voice, and both Jack and Daniel looked away. Jack couldn't forget that he had failed to protect Skaara from Apophis, just as Daniel couldn't protect his wife from becoming Amonet. Skaara cried out, "No! Do not look away from me! Is it not enough that I carry the guilt for what Klorel did in my body? You must not blame yourselves! There was nothing you could have done. And I do not know how to change your friend back."
The colonel and Egyptologist looked back at the young man. Tears were sparkling in his eyes as he said, "I do not know. But Klorel ... Klorel knows. I will look into my memory, and I will find out what he knew." Jack started to speak. He knew this was the only way they could get Vin back, but he wanted Skaara to know ... something. That he didn't have to do this, that Jack wouldn't ask him to do this, that he didn't have to offer to do this. Something. Anything that would make him feel less like he was using this boy. But before he could speak, Skaara shook his head, saying, "I know what you would say, O'Neill. But you are wrong. I must do this. For the sake of my own soul, I must do this."
He took a deep breath, released it and said, "But I must warn you. I will require preparation. Meditation. I cannot give you the answers you need, O'Neill. I need to cleanse myself for what will come." His eyes pleaded with Jack to understand. And O'Neill did understand. He cleared his throat, reaching across the table to take the young man's hand, and held it between his own two.
"Then we'll wait," he promised, "we'll wait as long as you need. You do whatever you need, kid. Hell. I can't call you that any more, can I? You're not a kid any more. You're a man now. Making the decisions of a man, and carrying the responsibilities of a man. You do what you have to, Skaara. We'll find a place to stay, and Carter will contact the SGC. Let them know what's going on, so Papa Bear Larabee won't turn into any more of a grizzly than he already has."
As Jack had hoped, that made the young man smile, and Skaara replied, "Yes, Colonel Larabee is as you say. You would do the same thing for me, O'Neill, or for Dan-yel." Jack could hardly argue with the truth, and Skaara added, "He only does it for people he loves. I am glad he is one of my friends. I would not wish to be his enemy. Come. I will take you to your quarters, while you wait for your answers."
"Right now, sir," Carter murmured as she pushed herself to her feet, "I wouldn't want to be Corporal Dunne." Jack shuddered. Now that went without saying! Between Chris and the two generals, that boy's ass was grass ... and he didn't even want to think about what the Ladies Tanner would do to him. Jack had seen those girls in action, and he didn't ever want on their bad side. Come to think of it, maybe Hammond's desire to bring Josie Tanner into the SGC as an active member wasn't such a bad idea.
Skaara asked, obviously overhearing Carter, "Why? What has Corporal ... what has happened to make Colonel Larabee angry with Corporal Dunne?" Jack didn't understand at first why Skaara rephrased his question, until he realized the original question would have been 'what has Corporal Dunne done.' Which would have sounded funny. Damn. The kid really was growing up! Made Jack feel old.
This time, it was Carter who explained what happened. While Skaara only knew of SG-7 by reputation, he was almost pop-eyed with shock by the time Carter finished. He shook his head, saying, "If such a thing had happened on Abydos, my father would have exiled the corporal as punishment. It is the duty and the privilege of an older brother or sister to look out for a younger brother or sister."
"Indeed, Skaara ... but Corporal Dunne resents that he is no longer the youngest member of SG-7. As the youngest member, he was special. That status of being special has been taken from him. He has not handled it well," Teal'c answered. Skaara looked at him quickly, and at first, O'Neill thought it was because of residual Klorel inside the young man's mind and heart. But then, Teal'c added, "I speak of things you do not understand?"
"You do. Sha'uri never treated me as if I was a burden. I was always her beloved brother, her responsibility and her joy," the young man answered, his voice cracking on his late sister's name. He looked at Jack, asking, "Do you understand this, O'Neill? That an older brother, as Corporal Dunne became, would resent a child for something he cannot stop? Why does he not resent Major Carter, for triggering the device?"
"You're asking questions which I can't answer now, Skaara. I don't understand JD Dunne, I never have. I think I'm too old to understand him," Jack admitted with a sigh.
He continued, "I've always been the father, the older brother. Never the younger brother, never the baby. I can't understand JD Dunne, because I have no point of reference. No way of understanding where he's coming from. The best I can do is with my imagination, and that's not enough this time. I can't understand how anyone could resent a child for something that's not their fault. Whether because a mother died in childbirth or complications from childbirth, or because a child has suddenly been replaced as the youngest."
Jack continued, bringing his emotions under control as he once more thought of his lost son, "But one thing I can do. I can make sure that while Vin Tanner is a little boy, he's protected, and I can do whatever I have to do to get him back." Skaara looked at him steadily for several moments, then nodded and smiled. A smile which, this time, chased the shadows in his eyes away, and he led them to their quarters.
"Colonel, after Dr. Frasier is finished checking over Kevin, I want you to take him home with you," General Hammond said. The general had just joined them in the infirmary, his face and the top of his head still crimson. Obviously, he had been chewing out the recalcitrant member of SG-7, as Ezra put it. The negotiator had gone back to the general's office to make a few phone calls to the guards at the entrance to the compound ... just in case.
Once he covered all those bases, he had gone to the infirmary, where Chris and the others met him. Janet was busy checking over Kevin. He was tired and dirty, and Josie mentioned something about a man named Alex who rescued him. There was no one else in the closet with him, and Chris would have been inclined to say it was a fantasy on the part of the child. However, the description wouldn't allow him to do that.
Kevin had described his rescuer as a tall man with short, yellow and brown hair. He had blue eyes, and he wore a uniform. And ... even more interesting, he gave his name as Alexander Christopher Larabee. He told Kevin that when he grew up, he would look just like Alex, only with longer hair. Even with that information, Chris could have attributed what the boy said to something other than a ghost. It was possible, after all, that the memories of the adult Vin Tanner remained within him.
However, as Chris, Mary, Billy, Adriana and Josie took Kevin to the infirmary to have Janet check him out, Buck met up with Josiah and Nathan. Josiah went to the general's office to tell him that Kevin had been found, while Buck and Nathan went off in search of whoever had chased Kevin. They found the 'men,' if they could be called that ... two civilians, new to the base, who evidently decided that it would be fun to scare the hell out of a little kid. Buck and Nathan quickly taught them the error of their ways.
And those men confirmed Kevin's story, adding that the man who had pulled Kevin inside the closet even growled at them to leave the boy alone. Which meant the ghost of Chris and Vin's uncle was somewhere around in the base, looking out for his youngest nephew. It should have spooked Chris, even after some of the things he had seen and experienced in the SGC. Instead, he felt comforted, knowing that his uncle Alex was watching over them.
The general continued, once he had Larabee's attention, "Until SG-1 gets back ... and based on their last transmission, that's likely to be a few days ... I want you to take Kevin back to your home, Colonel. It's the safest place for him, because I obviously can't trust all of my current people. I'm authorizing, as of right now, a week's leave for both you and Captain Travis. I may need the other men, but that little boy needs you."
"What about Josie, Carly, and Elizabeth?" Chris asked softly as Janet finished her exam and nodded reassuringly. Chris felt himself relax, even though he hadn't realized he had been tense. On the other hand, he hadn't relaxed since Mary came to the briefing room to tell them that Kevin and JD never arrived at the infirmary. Which reminded him ... he needed to thank Josie. Mary had been second guessing herself ever since they found the boy, feeling as if she should have gone looking for him sooner.
Josie quietly reminded Mary that Kevin was with JD, whom everyone, especially General Hammond, thought could be trusted to act responsibly with the safety of a child. Mary had no reason to doubt the boy. And if she had sounded the alarm sooner, she would have been accused of being a hysterical female. It was a no win situation, she had done the best she could, and the one ultimately responsible was JD.
"Elizabeth is definitely going with you, or will head over to your house at some point during the next few hours. Dr. Tanner wants to remain here and help Dr. Frasier if she can. I think she's afraid of falling in love with the child," General Hammond murmured. Chris smiled, understanding exactly what the general meant. He could tell Josie had already lost her heart to little Kevin, and many other women had as well. Hammond continued, "Sergeant Tanner hasn't made her decision yet."
"All right. I'll talk to Mary. Anyone else you want us to take with us right now?" Chris asked, and the general shook his head. Chris continued, "All right. I'll ask Adriana if she would mind, us taking Mindy with us. Kevin loves her, and Adriana can pick her up when she gets off tonight. She told me before everything went haywire that her number one project is in stasis, because she's still waiting on input from Bree Lincoln."
"Correct, which is why I reassigned her to help Dr. Richmond today ... the lady Dr. Richmond, I should say. I may allow Corporal Dunne to leave the base tomorrow," the general replied. Chris looked at his commanding officer, his eyes narrowing, and Hammond added, "It'll all depend on him. I know you'd like to have a word or two ... or an entire paragraph ... with him, but you're needed somewhere else."
"Corporal Dunne can go wherever he damn well pleases," Chris bit out, "just so long as he stays the hell away from Kevin."
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Chris realized he sounded just like a father. But that was what he was. His son was dead, but he never stopped being a parent. That discovery stopped him short. He never stopped being a father. It was just, right now, his little brother needed him to be that father. And in that eerie way Hammond seemed to have at times, the man said gently, "When this is all over, you'll be able to go back to being his brother, Chris. It won't be easy ... but you'll do it."
Chris responded with a pained look for his CO and replied, "Sir? Don't take this the wrong way, but there are times when I really do hate you." Rather than looking offended, George Hammond simply laughed, and Chris muttered under his breath, "Dammit, knew I should have said no way when Orrin asked me to head up SG-7. First I start caring again, then that damn brother of mine gets into my mind, and now you're doing the same thing."
"And you wouldn't have it any other way, Christopher. You know it, and I know it," Hammond advised. Well, that was true, but it also wasn't the point. Hell, yes it was the point, it was the only point! Chris gave the general an exasperated stare, drawing another smile from the other man. Hammond said, struggling with that smile, "Take your little brother, Colonel Larabee, and go home. That's an order."
"Yes, sir," Chris sighed and moved away from the general. Cassie had arrived at the base about fifteen minutes earlier, and she was playing with Billy and Tansy in her mother's office. Mary was watching Janet's examination with worried eyes, and Chris moved toward his lady. He slipped his arm around her waist, saying softly, "It's not your fault ... it's not Drina's fault. And if I know Charlotte Richmond, she'll spend the rest of the day driving that point into Drina's head."
He felt Mary laugh as she relaxed against him, murmuring, "I think I believe you, Chris. It's just that ... I had a sense something was wrong. I told myself that I was overreacting, that I was still jumpy from everything that had happened in the last few days, but I couldn't really make myself believe it. I should have listened to my instincts, and ... " Chris turned her to face him, green eyes meeting green.
"And what? Mary, you did everything you could. You waited a half hour before taking an action giving Corporal Dunne adequate time to reach the infirmary without overreacting. You, Janet, and Charlotte started searching ... even though Charlotte was on crutches. And when you couldn't find him, you came and told us. Where do you see you went wrong? In waiting a half hour? The general would have had you wait the extra time, just to be safe, and you know it. This is not your fault. Okay? You are not to blame," Chris replied, cupping her face in his hands.
Mary closed her eyes and leaned her head against his chest, allowing him to slip his hands around the back of her neck. She whispered, "I want to believe you. But I keep going over things in my head, over and over and over. He's getting to all of us. That little boy. And it doesn't matter any more who he is. I just can't stand the thought of anyone hurting any child for any reason. And the idea of someone hurting Kevin ... it's like when those men who killed Stephen were after Billy. I don't know what I want to do more. Hold him and promise him that no one will ever hurt him again ... or rip out the eyeballs of anyone who does hurt him or Billy."
"Well, for as long as SG-1 is off-world, he'll be in our custody. Think Billy is up to playing big brother twenty-four seven over the next few days?" Chris asked. In answer, Mary looked over her shoulder, and Chris followed her gaze to Billy, Tansy, and Cassie. Except, Billy had left the game and gone to the window, looking anxiously at Kevin as Janet pulled his shirt back on and ruffled his hair.
Then Mary looked back and smiled at Chris, saying, "I think he might be. I think he just might be. It looks like you and I have two children over the next few days, Colonel Larabee." Chris returned the smile and kissed her forehead, before drawing her back into his arms once more. Over her head, he made eye contact with Billy ... and winked at the boy. His reward was a minute relaxing and a smile. They would make everything all right. Between the three of them and Mindy, they would make everything all right.
Dr. Janet said he was okay, and since he was okay, he would be going home with Chris, Miss Mary, Billy, and Mindy. That made Kevin happy, because Chris and Miss Mary made him feel safe. He wanted Miss Drina to come along, and the lady who was with Drina when they found him, but Chris told him that Miss Drina would be at the house tonight. She had to do some work, and she knew Chris and Miss Mary would take care of him.
Billy held tightly to Kevin's wrist as they left the ... whatever this was. General Hammond told him, when he said he would be going home with Chris, that they were inside a mountain. A gigantic, humongous mountain. And now he was going outside. But he had to stay close to Billy, because Chris had to carry the box of clothes, and Miss Mary had to carry something else called a 'laptop,' and the briefcase which belonged to Chris, and hold onto Mindy's leash. Otherwise, she would hold his hand.
So, Billy held onto Kevin, but not so tightly it hurt. Kevin wasn't in any mood to go wandering off. He still couldn't believe he didn't get in trouble for going off on his own earlier. But everyone kept telling him that they knew it wasn't his fault, that they knew he had to go to the bathroom and that mean man wouldn't take him. Kevin decided once more he didn't like that mean man at all. He didn't want to ever see him again.
At the same time, the little boy found himself wondering if the others were wrong. If he had done something to make the man dislike him. Kevin didn't know what that would be, but Mr. Montrose didn't like him either, and Kevin couldn't figure out what he had done wrong there, either. His wondering came to an end as they reached a car ... it looked ... different. But it was still a car, and he bet it could go just as fast as any car he saw in his neighborhood.
Miss Mary put the briefcase and the laptop in the front seat with her, then helped first Billy, then Mindy, then finally Kevin, into the back-seat. She said, muttering under her breath, "We don't have a booster seat ... Billy outgrew his. Chris, you'll have to drive extra careful. These seat belts aren't made for five year old bodies." Kevin pouted. He didn't want Chris to drive careful, he wanted to go fast!
"Damn ... you're right," Chris muttered. Kevin's mouth opened wide. He said a bad word! Chris put the box of clothes at Billy's feet, then continued, "Wait a minute ... do you still have those pillows in the very back? If we put them under Kevin and behind him, that might help. When Adam was a baby, and we didn't have access to a high chair, we would put a telephone book, one of the really thick ones, under whatever was available."
"My brother and his wife used to do that with their kids ... when they first moved to a new house, and the high chair hadn't been unpacked yet," Miss Mary replied, laughing. She brushed her hair out of her eyes, continuing, "And I not only have the pillows in here, I also have a blanket. Drina convinced me to keep them in here, especially since Colorado has such unpredictable weather."
"And she would know, she grew up here," Chris admitted. Kevin frowned. Colorado? But he lived in Texas! How did he get from Texas to Colorado? He was on the point of asking, when he remembered that they hadn't yelled at him for wandering off. Best not to push his luck. If he asked, maybe they would change their minds about taking him home with them. Instead, he sat very still as Chris passed a bundle to Miss Mary.
"Sit forward, honey, this will only take a minute," Miss Mary told him softly. Kevin wriggled forward, until his forehead rested against the seat in front of him. He felt her arranging something behind his back, then she eased him back against the pillows, buckling him into the seat. To his surprise, it was much more comfortable than the seatbelts he was used to. Miss Mary ducked as she stepped back from the door, and smiled, asking, "Better?"
"Uh-huh ... can Chris go fast now?" Kevin asked eagerly. He was rewarded with a bright smile as Miss Mary gently ruffled his hair. He heard something go thump behind him and realized that he could see a little better. Then Chris passed by Billy's window, winking at both of them. Miss Mary checked the door, then closed it securely. She slipped into the front seat, pulling the door closed behind her as Chris started the car.
"Well, not so fast we get pulled over, but I think I can accommodate you there," Chris replied, looking into the rearview mirror at the two boys. Kevin tried to repeat the word which Chris said ... accomdate? Chris smiled and said, "Accommodate? It means I'll go as fast as I can without making the police angry with me and cause an accident." Ohhhh. Okay. That was all right then. Kevin didn't want Chris getting in trouble with the police.
It wasn't that he didn't like the police. That wasn't true at all. But he also didn't want Chris to get into trouble. So, between getting in trouble with the police and going fast, Kevin decided going fast wasn't as important as he thought it was.
The next thing which caught his attention was the view outside the car. Kevin wanted to look out the window, because he had never been out of Texas before (and just how did he get from Texas to Colorado?), but he ended up falling asleep before they got too far. The next thing he knew, Miss Mary was gently shaking him awake. Sleepily, he held out his arms to her and she unbuckled him, then lifted him out of the car. Kevin snuggled down in her arms, feeling too sleepy to really be awake and too awake to go back to sleep.
He heard Chris say softly, "Janet says for everything that's happened in the last few days to him, it's natural for him to sleep so much, Billy. It's nothing for us to worry about. Each trauma takes a little more out of him, and being chased earlier didn't help. Why don't you make up the sleeping bag in your room for him, at least for tonight?" Kevin didn't know what trauma meant, but he did know he didn't like being this sleepy.
"I'll sleep in my sleeping bag, Chris, he can have my bed," Billy answered. There was a long pause, then Billy said quietly, though not quietly enough to keep Kevin from hearing him, "I'm really mad at JD, Chris. I know he's jealous, but Mom always told me that I should go to her, if I was angry about you and her together. She said that it's not fair to blame one person for something someone else did. And that's what JD did."
"I know it is, Billy, and I'm mad at JD, too. A lot of people are. Now, it isn't all his fault. But he crossed the line, by doing what he did ... or maybe I should say, by not doing something. And he's in trouble for that, and for not doing what the general asked. It doesn't matter who Kevin is or isn't. The general gave him instructions, and he didn't carry them out. And now, because of this, nobody in the team trusts JD any more," Chris replied.
"Just like after Drina was hurt. I 'member that, because she gave me rides in her wheelchair. I knew it hurt her legs, but every time I tried to get up, she said she was okay. Said she liked having me sit on her lap. Chris, is ever'body coming over to the house tonight?" Billy asked. Kevin cringed. He wasn't sure if he liked that idea. He was getting sleepy, and Miss Mary rubbing his back made him even sleepier.
"I don't know yet, son, I think Kevin needs some time alone. He's had a big day. And the others have work to do. Maybe tomorrow night, although I know Adriana is coming tonight, since Mindy is here. Speaking of Mindy, you do still have the dog food on the back porch, don't you?" Chris asked. Mindy. Kevin had almost forgotten about her, until he opened his eyes and saw her trotting along at Miss Mary's side.
"Uh-huh. And her water bowl. I'll open the door, Mom," Billy said. Kevin's eyes shifted from the pretty dog, to Billy. He was carrying Miss Mary's laptop ... and Kevin still didn't know what a laptop was ... but he took the keys from Miss Mary's purse, then ran forward to the door. A few minutes later, they were all inside the house, Mindy scampering into the living room. Kevin looked up, and looked around.
It was so strange. It seemed so ... familiar to Kevin. Like he had been here before, and the child knew he had never been in this place before. But as Miss Mary gently put him on the couch and put an afghan over him, Kevin snuggled down into the cushions, feeling safe.
In a way, it reminded him of the houses he and Mama used to look at, and pretend were theirs. Kevin sniffled a little, feeling ashamed for not thinking about Mama. He was afraid that meant he was forgetting about her. And then he remembered what Chris said, about Mama wanting him to be happy, not sad. He smiled to himself as Billy turned on the tv ... and it was such a big tv, too! So much bigger than Kevin and his mama's!
It reminded him again of watching Elmer Fudd chasing Bugs Bunny, and remembering breakfast, Kevin began singing softly to himself, "Kill da wabbit, kill da wabbit, kill da wabbit, kill da wabbit!" He vaguely heard Miss Mary laugh softly as she tucked the blanket around him a little more securely, and felt her hair touch his face as she leaned over and kissed his forehead. Just like Mama. And Kevin knew nothing bad could happen to him here. Here, he would always be safe.
"You know, I'm gonna get it through that thick skull of yours that this isn't your fault, if I have to smack you upside the head with my crutches," Charlotte Richmond informed the slim brunette beside Charlotte's desk, sorting through the data which had been accumulated while they were planetside. The elder archaeologist knew she needed the help ... and she also knew it was Hammond's way of keeping Dunne alive a little longer. At first, Charlotte thought she would have to repeat herself, until the dark head raised itself.
"You're threatening a lot of people with those crutches of yours, Charlotte ... first Will, now me. Although, in Will's case, it's really hard to blame you, especially since Chris threatened to stick them where the sun don't shine. Is there anyone you haven't threatened with that yet?" Adriana asked, blowing a wisp of hair back from her eyes. Charlotte just glared at her, wishing her own glare was as potent as the one perfected by Chris Larabee. A moment later, the dark brows of her companion raised as she asked, "Trying to out-glare Chris?"
"And not succeeding particularly well, obviously," Charlotte retorted. Adriana flashed her an impish grin and bent her head once more. Charlotte sighed and added, "Honestly, hon. This wasn't your fault. I know Chris has told you, Josie has told you, and now I'm telling you." Adriana sat back on her heels, regarding Charlotte with an expression that was a mixture of amusement, affection, and exasperation.
"I know it isn't, Carlota. I ... I just ... I suppose I'm angry with myself for wigging out, even briefly. If this makes any sense, I never thought Chris was hurting or doing anything to Kevin. It just ... it triggered a memory. And it surprised me. Most of the time, during the last few months, I was better prepared when I had a memory flash. I suppose I wasn't ready, and the memory was so ... vivid. And there were other complications," Adriana admitted with a sigh.
Such as? Adriana rose to her feet, grimacing and supporting her knees as she did so, then sat down on the desk beside Charlotte, explaining, "Well ... see ... it's like this. For the last few weeks, that ... mental block I had? About intimacy? It's been ... well ... kinda dissolving." It took Charlotte a minute to understand what Adriana meant ... and part of what clued her in was the way her friend was blushing.
Oh. Oh! It was like that! Well, that put a very different complexion on things. Not that this was a bad thing, necessarily. Adriana nodded and went on, "So, with that block dissolving, there was a part of me which worried that I would ... hurt ... Kevin. Because of my father. The tendency of sexual abuse victims to become sexual abusers themselves. It happens, you know. And I was afraid ... that I would be one of them. But the thing is, when I accidentally walked in on Chris drying off Kevin ... those fears vanished. Because I didn't see Vin. I saw a little boy, and the only thing I felt at first was this ... this ... "
She fumbled for the words, and Charlotte provided them, saying, "Tenderness? This overwhelming desire to protect him?" Adriana nodded, and Charlotte continued, "It's perfectly natural. Something you were never on the receiving end of. There was no one there to protect you when you were a child, after your mother died and Buck was away at the academy. And I'll bet that's what really triggered your memory flash. Not the sight of a little boy being dried after a bath. But your desire to protect him ... as no one protected you."
Adriana looked at Charlotte, her mouth hanging slightly open. Charlotte laughed softly and put her finger under Adriana's chin, effectively closing her mouth. She said softly, "I took psych courses on the side, during grad school. Not for credit, but because I was trying to ... I suppose I was trying to deal with Allison's death and Will. The trouble was, I was distancing myself from Allison's death because I couldn't speak her name. I could only use her middle name, Lindsay."
"But you still learned something," Adriana pointed out. Charlotte shrugged. Well, that remained to be seen. Despite her psych courses, it seemed the only thing that kept her husband from completely spinning out of control was her threats, as with the crutches, and making him sleep on the floor when he went too far. But Charlotte honestly didn't know how much longer she could do this. Will had been spinning out of control more and more in the last few weeks, and their arguments were getting progressively worse.
As if hearing her thoughts, Adriana said quietly, "Carlota ... I want you to promise me something." Charlotte looked at her friend, understanding that this was something very important to the other young woman, and Adriana continued, "If he ever hits you, or Tansy, I want you to promise that you'll leave him. Open handed slap or a punch, it doesn't matter. Get out." Charlotte reached over and took her friend's hand.
She answered, "You have my word of honor, Drina. If Will ever strikes me, or Tansy, in any way. I will leave him. That day. No second chances." Adriana just looked at her intently, and Charlotte continued, "I can see you don't believe me, and I can't blame you. But I'm a very different person now. I'm stronger. And I don't blame myself for Allison's death any more."
"Okay. Because if he hurts either of you, and you stay with him, I'll have to kick your ass," Adriana said seriously. Charlotte smiled, but it wasn't derision or even amusement. She knew her friend would do just that. While she could tolerate many things for her own sake, she allow nothing to happen to Tansy. Adriana added quietly, "I have one more thing to say on this subject, then we'll get back to work. It's true, you are much stronger now than you were then. But Carlota, you should know by now. You've always been stronger than Will. Always."
And that was the rub, wasn't it? Why Charlotte tolerated Will's treatment for those two years after Allison's death. Because in some part of her, she recognized that she was the one who was strong enough to get them both through this. Yes, she still loved Will, though she didn't realize that until he went down during the confrontation at the cabin. But equally important was her own understanding, in the back of her mind, that she was stronger.
Charlotte said only, "I know. So let's get back to work, so you can go pick up your doggie tonight." Adriana rolled her eyes ... and a piece of paper ... at the same time, then whacked Charlotte over the head with the rolled up piece of paper. The elder archaeologist just laughed. Two wonderful things happened to her, the day Raquel Hernandez ran away from home. And her daughter was named after each of them.
"So ... do you think Vin really saw Alex Larabee, or was his adult memory asserting itself?" Josie Tanner asked. Janet Frasier looked up from her computer to see the former sergeant sitting on the edge of her desk. Janet shook her head, trying to clear it. She had been feeding this data into the computer ever since she finished her examination of Kevin, and ever since she was told what changed twenty-seven year old Vin Tanner into his five year old counterpart.
"If not for the two men who said they saw Alex scoop up Kevin, I'd say there's a strong possibility his adult memory is asserting itself. It's still a possibility. Remember, the machine didn't swap the adult Vin with the child Kevin ... it physically and mentally regressed Vin to a child state. Which means, the adult's memories are still in the mind of the child. It's just a question of time before those memories come out," Janet replied.
Josie was silent for several moments, then asked, "Nothing like this, exactly, has ever happened before, has it?" Janet rubbed her eyes, trying to focus on anything other than her computer screen. Her vision was starting to blur, and Janet realized she had no idea what time it was. The last time she looked up, Chris and Mary were taking the two boys and Mindy back to the house, while Adriana was heading to Charlotte's office. A quick glance told her that Cassie was still playing with Tansy, and she wondered where Josie's own daughter was.
"The closest thing I can compare to this happened in reverse, during the first year of the SGC project. Colonel O'Neill aged several decades while on the planet. It's a bit complicated, and other than that ... the thing is, it's natural for a body to age, though not at the rate the colonel did. It's not natural for a body to turn back time, so I have no way of knowing what kind of side effects to expect. That's why I kept running tests," Janet replied.
"And you won't be any good to anyone if you fall on your face. I've already spoken with Cassie ... Carly is going out for pizza, with the understanding she'll bring back an extra two pies for the guards. Elizabeth will be leaving with Nathan, once he finishes what he's doing. But you and I, Janet, will go to the cafeteria and eat some real food," Josie replied. Janet thought about even a halfhearted protest, then realized she didn't even have the energy for that.
Satisfied ... and did all the Tanners sport that same shit-eating grin when they got their way? ... Josie helped Janet to her feet. But Janet still saw Josie wink at Cassie. She knew she should be angry, being manipulated like this, but she was too damn tired to even be angry. Instead, she shuffled out of the infirmary, feeling much older than she really should have, even as the mother of a teenager.
"What do you think of everyone's reaction to your ... as Colonel O'Neill put it ... kiddified nephew?" Janet asked wearily, rubbing the back of her neck as they walked along the corridor. Josie didn't answer at first ... she was quietly checking out each person they passed. Janet knew there was a reason for that, but she was so tired right now, she couldn't imagine what that would be, aside from the obvious.
"It threw me ... how calmly everyone was reacting. All except JD Dunne, everyone seemed so calm about having one of their best friends turned into a child. Until I realized that almost everyone got their 'I don't believe this' out of their system before I showed up. And Carly reminded me that while this has never happened before, the strange and unbelievable is par for the course around here," Josie acknowledged. She added, "But you know what was really strange? When Drina and I were looking for Vin. She was crouched on one knee on the cement floor, tracing her finger as if she was tracing a print ... and there was nothing there."
Janet laughed, and was stunned to realize it made her feel more awake. She replied, "It's not what she sees on the floor ... it helps her to focus. She probably told you that Vin taught her how to track when they were friends in Texas." Josie nodded, and Janet continued, "Well, when he was doing that, that was always how he was positioned. In order to see what he was seeing, she adopted the same crouch. She wasn't trying to track Kevin earlier, she was trying to slide into that pattern of thought."
Janet smiled, adding, "It blew Daniel's mind, the first few times he saw her do that. When she first got to the SGC two years ago. But it made sense. In a weird, Drina-sort of way." Josie laughed at that, and Janet asked, "What do you think? Is this little boy we're seeing ... is that what he was like when he was a little boy?" Josie's smile died, though the laughter remained in her brown eyes as she steered Janet into the cafeteria. The smell of food served to wake her up further. If this kept up, she'd actually feel human soon.
"He was like this, when he first met an adult. Very shy, very proper. That's not the best way to put it, but it's the best I can do right now. Gradually, as he became more comfortable with a person, he would become more and more mischievous. But that takes time, even with the memories you think may be present. Janet ... when we get our Vin back ... what do you think will happen? In terms of side effects?" Josie asked.
Janet sighed deeply, replying, "Probably a lot of what we're seeing right now. He'll sleep a lot. The expenditure of energy required to change his body from an adult to a child, and then from a child to an adult again, will leave him exhausted. That's why he's sleeping so much. He doesn't have the normal energy of a child because of the transformation. That's my best guess, at least, and the traumas of the last few days don't help."
Josie nodded her understanding and Janet continued, "He may become a little ill, due to the shifting of his internal organs. If we're lucky, the transformation back to being an adult won't cause any internal damage. He'll likely have muscular aches, from the expansion and contraction of his muscles. Once we get our Vin back, I'll advise the general against returning him to active duty for at least two weeks."
Josie grimaced, observing, "My nephew will not like that. The poor boy is just cleared for duty, and this happens. Although I think he'll spend most of that time apologizing to Nathan." Janet rolled her eyes. Josie was probably right, but it was such a small matter. Kevin had never seen Nathan before ... and the first time he did see the medic, the little boy had just jumped down from the examining table with help from Janet, while Chris was trying to reassure Mary that she wasn't at fault.
Kevin looked up, up, up at Nathan ... and promptly hid behind Janet. The CMO quickly extracted him, asking what was wrong, and he whispered that the newcomer was so ... so ... Nathan tensed visibly, and then relaxed when Kevin blurted out, "BIG!" The worry gave way to a genuine grin as he dropped to his hands and knees, reducing the height difference from himself and Kevin dramatically.
Nathan asked with that big grin, "I ain't so big now, am I?" Kevin peeked around Janet's leg and giggled, his face turning bright red. Nathan's own smile grew larger as he reached around to ruffle the light brown hair and said, "Now c'mon over here, I brought you some coloring books." Kevin's eyes lit up as Nathan swung him up into his arms, and he mouthed, 'For me???'
"Now that's just plain silly. And I'll have a talk with Nathan, make sure he realizes Vin will probably feel guilty for being afraid of him," Janet replied, still shaking her head. She knew perfectly well that Nathan thought at first that Kevin was afraid of him because he was black. But Kevin said, when someone mentioned that, that he knew lots of people like Nathan ... and could he make his skin that dark?
Nathan, who had a thick drawing pencil between his teeth, almost swallowed the pencil, then spat it out, coughing.
Janet, who was no stranger to the curiosity of children, almost died laughing. It wasn't often that she saw that expression on Nathan Jackson's face, and she wished she had a camera to record it. She didn't ... but a quick glance into her office told her that Cassie did and the teen was using it. With a decidedly impish smirk, Cassie winked at her mother through the glass window, before returning her attention to Billy and Tansy.
Her companion said, drawing Janet's attention back to her, "I'd appreciate that. My nephew can be terribly sensitive, and if he even thinks he hurt Nathan's feelings ... " Janet inclined her head, though she didn't think Vin was quite that bad. He did have high expectations for himself, and his sense of responsibility was equally high ... but she still didn't have enough energy to argue with the other woman. Yet.
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