Second Childhood

By Jean Williams

Part Nine

Buck paced back and forth on the landing while Nathan and Josiah leaned against the railing and watched him. "You're gonna wear a damn hole in the floor an' end up down on the boardwalk if'n ya don't quit. He'll be alright... ya know Chris ain't gonna hurt 'im." Nathan grinned as Buck stopped and held his ear to the door for the tenth time since they'd been chased from the room.

"Ezra will be alright... I'm not so sure about our fearless leader though." The word's had barely left Josiah's mouth when they suddenly heard a loud anguished wail from inside the clinic.

"Ezra!" Buck was tearing the door open, and racing into the clinic before the cry had even faded away... with Nathan and Josiah right on his heels, ready to pull him off of Chris if need be.

All three men stopped dead in their tracks and just stared at the struggle that was taking place in the middle of the room. Ezra was scrunched down in the tub, only his head showing above the water, while Chris was poised over him. Both of them had their hands wrapped around the toy boat, and an intense tug of war was in progress. Ezra even had the fingers of his left hand wrapped around the boat... a sight which had Nathan wincing at the pain the gambler must be feeling. It also put Chris at a serious disadvantage, since he didn't dare try too hard to wrest the toy away from the young man for fear of doing more damage to his broken arm. Chris, who had been damp before, was now soaked from head to toe, with white puffy splotches of suds dotting his black clothes... and the look on his face was a comical mixture of anger, disbelief, and total exasperation.

The noise level in the small room was deafening. Chris's part in the escalating argument alternated between shouted demands for Ezra to mind him, and low-pitched cajoling requests for him to please get out of the tub. And Ezra... well, Ezra's was a combination of ear-splitting shrieks, stubbornly uttered no's that rose in volume as they increased in number, and a variety of reasons as to why he shouldn't have to leave the tub... all perfectly sensible if you're using a five year old's logic.

The more the three men hovering by the door listened, the harder it was for them to hold back their laughter.

"Ezra Standish... I'm telling you for the last time to get... out... of... that... tub!"

"You tol' me to get in herwe beforwe... so I'm stayin'!"

"I know I told you to get in there before, but-"

"I trwied to tewll you d'en d'at I didn't wanna get in, but you made me."

"I know, but-"

"D'en why do I have to get out now? You'rwe gettin' me all mixed up, Chwis!"

"Ezra, please get out of the tub?"

"No."

"Ezra, give me the boat and get out of the tub."

"Noooo... don't wanna!"

"All right, that's it! I've had just about enough of this... you're getting out of that tub right this instant, young man!"

"No!!! I wanna pway wif my boat!!!"

Chris finally released the boat with one hand and reached for Ezra's arm, intent on dragging the gambler up and out of the water. The others saw his mistake... knew he'd completely forgotten he wasn't actually dealing with a five year old... and knew he wasn't expecting what happened next. They tried to get to Ezra in time to grab him and prevent what they saw coming, but they were too late.

Ezra saw his advantage and took it. With one mighty tug, he used every bit of his adult strength to pull the boat out of Chris's unsuspecting grip. Chris tried to grab at him, but he was taken by surprise and couldn't react in time.

With the release of the boat, Ezra flew back in the tub and ended up submerged completely in the now cold bath water. Water surged up and over the edge of the tub, soaking Chris and the other three men again as the gunslinger scrambled to get a grip on one of Ezra's flailing arms.

Buck, Nathan and Josiah started to move in to help, but just at that moment Ezra's head popped up, and an unearthly howl began echoing around the clinic. They froze in place again and watched as the smaller man's suds-covered arms came up and wrapped themselves around Chris's neck, almost pulling him headfirst into the tub.

"Owww!!! I got soap in my eyes!! It burwns, Chwis!!! OW!... OW!!! Why did you do d'at, Chwis?! I jus' wanted to p'way wif my boat!! Wherwe's Buck?! I want Buck!!! Buck wouldn't have w'et me get soap in my eyes!!! Owww!! Make it stop, Chwis!!" Ezra continued to screech in the panicked gunslinger's ear as his arms tightened around his neck. The hysterical gambler struggled to stand, but his feet couldn't gain a purchase on the slippery bottom of the tub and kept sliding out from under him.

Chris looked up at the three men still frozen in the middle of the room, and shouted at them. "Will you help me here, for God's sake?!"

But as Chris watched incredulously, his three friends took one look at the frantically struggling gambler, suffered through one last piercing shriek, and turning as one, high-tailed it out of the clinic... deserted him... abandoned him in his time of need. Chris's face hardened as he watched the door slam closed behind them. They're dead men.


Buck, Josiah and Nathan were all out on the landing when Vin and JD finally made their way back to the clinic. They walked up the stairs and stopped, staring at their friends, taking in their wet clothes and exhausted expressions.

"Man... what the heck happened to you three?" JD saw the water pooling beneath the bench the three men sat on, and realized they were soaked.

"Ezra hates baffs." Josiah announced, with a totally deadpan expression on his face. Buck and Nathan looked at each other, and dissolved into helpless laughter... the tension they'd felt since the struggle with Ezra finally draining away.

Vin and JD couldn't help but join in, even though they had no idea what had transpired while they were gone.

After about an hour, with no sounds of crying or cursing coming from the clinic, they decided to peek in and see how things were going.

Buck eased the door open and stuck his head in, looking first at the tub and finding it empty... then letting his gaze travel slowly across the clinic until it finally landed on the two forms in the bed. He grinned at the four men standing behind him, and motioned for them to be quiet and follow him inside.

They walked silently over to the bed and gazed down in amazement. Chris lay on his back with Ezra cradled against him... the gambler's head tucked under his chin and his arms wrapped tightly around the younger man. Ezra's hair was clean and neatly combed, his cheeks lightly flushed and smooth-shaven, and his hand with the boat still clutched in it was resting on Chris's stomach. Nathan noticed Chris had even replaced the wet bandages that had been wrapped around his splints. Everything that had needed to be done for Ezra had finally been accomplished, and now the two men were lost together in an exhausted slumber.

Buck and Josiah eased the blankets up over the sleeping men, and they all turned and left the clinic. Closing the door quietly behind them, they looked at each other and smiled.

"Well, pards... I think this calls for a drink. Y'all want to join me at the saloon while we let those two get their beauty sleep?" Buck definitely needed a drink after the morning they'd had.

"Yeah, and while we're there... you guys can fill us in on what all went on up here today. I can't wait to hear this one." JD laughed at the pained expressions that appeared on the faces of his three friends.

Buck, Nathan and Josiah looked at each other, taking in their wet clothes and generally disheveled appearances and just grinned.

Buck slapped JD on the back and led him toward the stairs. "Son... you're never gonna believe this one."


Chris was dreaming. The first pleasant dream he'd had in years. He was kneeling beside a battered tin tub, bathing Adam. The boy looked up at him with eyes the identical hazel as his... his sweet little face, topped by a mop of straight brown hair, was adorned with a wide smile. "F'ank you, Daddy... I wuv it!" In his hands was a small boat Chris had whittled for him... he'd made it to make it easier for Adam during bath time. The boy hated baffs... baffs? Where did that come from? And why was Adam speaking with a soft southern accent? Chris looked down at the boy again and realized he had changed... no longer was the boy a smaller version of himself... this little boy had slightly curly chestnut brown hair and brilliant green eyes... he looked so familiar. The dream slowly faded away as Chris moved toward wakefulness... a southern accent? The only one he knew who talked like that was...

Chris opened his eyes and looked down at the form nestled against him. Ezra. A slow smile crept across the older man's face as memories of Ezra's bath came back to him. It seemed funny now, even though he'd been ready to strangle the younger man at the time. But the childlike Southerner had more than made up for the grief he had given Chris during the bath itself once they'd finished and curled up on the bed together. Ezra had tearfully apologized for misbehaving, and had been visibly surprised and relieved to be told that it was okay... that it was perfectly normal for a five year old to hate baths, and that Chris wasn't mad at him.

He'd planned on getting Buck to take his place as soon as he had gotten Ezra settled in the bed, but the gambler immediately thought it was because he'd been bad that Chris was leaving, so he'd lain down with him to reassure him that it wasn't so. Ezra had shyly inched closer until he was curled up against him... looking up into Chris's face first to make sure it was alright. The blonde gunslinger had smiled down at the Southerner, and wrapped his arms lightly around him. He could see Ezra was exhausted, but he just didn't seem to want to give in to the sleep that pulled at him. Finally, Chris had asked him if he'd like him to tell him a story. Ezra had nodded happily and shifted around in the older man's arms so that he could watch Chris's face as he talked.

Chris had thought for a moment, and then had begun telling the gambler the story about Jack and the Beanstalk... it had been one of Adam's favorites, and he'd read it to him so many times, he knew it by heart. Ezra had listened quietly, his eyes growing heavier, and it had only taken a few minutes for him to finally fall asleep.

Looking down at the gambler's face, Chris had seen that it still held a ghost of the smile that had appeared when he'd started reciting the story. He had realized it had probably been the first time anyone had ever done that for him... he couldn't see Maude knowing any fairy tales, much less taking the time to tell them to her son. Suddenly he had known what he was going to give the gambler for Christmas. He'd been trying to come up with something special... something that would put that exact same smile on his face that he'd seen a few minutes ago. Now he had the ideal gift. With that problem finally solved, Chris had relaxed and had soon joined Ezra in sleep.

And now that he was awake again, and recovered from the ordeal of Ezra's bath, he was anxious to get over to his room to wrap the gift he'd decided on. He knew exactly where it was... lying on the shelf in his closet, right next to the box that contained the only possessions of Sarah and Adam's that he'd been able to salvage from the fire. Chris hoped someone showed up soon to take over with Ezra... he wanted to get the gift ready, and he knew the Judge would be arriving at any time. He wanted to talk to him as soon as he possibly could, and try to make him see that Ezra was where he belonged... with his family.


JD had stayed at the saloon long enough to hear the details of Ezra's bath, laughing and wishing he'd been there to see it... and then he'd excused himself with a mumbled explanation about getting to Mrs. Potter's before she closed.

Buck had raised his eyebrows at JD's abrupt departure, and Vin had told them that the Kid had finally thought of what he wanted to give Ezra for Christmas, and he figured that was probably what he was going after.

The rest of them had then gotten into a discussion about what each of them had decided to give Lit'l Ezra... with Nathan, Josiah and Vin all describing their gifts. Each one of them had already bought a present for him, but they'd gotten them before the accident and none of them were appropriate for a five year old. Everyone had decided to save those packages til his memory returned, and then they'd have another little gift-giving party. And after all Ezra's protesting, Vin and Josiah had told them that they'd seen a pile of packages on his dresser when they'd gone after the fresh nightshirts. They all grinned... it had been the same thing last year. Ezra had told everyone not to buy him anything because he wasn't even coming to the party... and then he'd shown up carrying an armload of gifts. He'd been surprised and pleased when he'd found out each one of them had gotten him something, too.

Vin glanced at Buck when he noticed that he wasn't joining in. "So, Bucklin... what'd ya get our Lit'l Ezra... or are ya keepin' it a secret til tomorrow?" Vin smiled at the gunslinger and waited for his answer.

Buck just shrugged. "It's kinda personal... and besides, I'm still not too sure about it. I need to figure out how to-" His words trailed off as he looked up and saw Mary walk past the swinging doors. "I'll see ya back at the clinic."

The others were startled by his abrupt departure and wondered if it had something to do with the gift he was so reluctant to talk about.

Standing on the boardwalk, Buck looked around and finally spotted Mary angling across the street toward the Clarion. He hurried to catch her and managed to get her attention just as she was opening the door. "Mary! Can I talk to ya for a minute?"

Mary turned when she heard Buck call her name, not realizing he was following her. "Hello, Buck." She glanced around to make sure no one was near enough to them to hear before quietly asking, "So how did Ezra's bath go? Did the boat help?" She looked him up and down, taking in his rumpled appearance and still-damp clothes, and smiled up at him. "Apparently not."

"Well, actually... it worked a little too well." Buck chuckled and shook his head. "He made it clear though exactly how much he don't like takin' a bath, that's for sure." He looked around to see if anyone was near, and then leaned in closer to her. "Could I talk to ya for a minute? In private?"

Mary stared at him for a moment, noticing his nervousness and nodded, opening the door and beckoning him to follow her in. She assumed whatever he wanted to ask her had to do with Ezra... she was beginning to expect it. I wonder which of them will be next?

Buck hesitated once they were inside, shuffling his feet and twisting his hat around in his hands. Finally, he took a deep breath and began. "I need somethin' engraved an' I was just wonderin' if you could do it for me."

Mary looked at him in surprise, shaking her head slowly. "Me? Engraving? I've never-"

"No, I know it's not somethin' you'd usually do, but I just thought maybe ya could take a pin or somethin' and scratch out what I want to say." He blushed slightly as he tried to explain. "It's for a Christmas present... to make it kinda special. I could've done it myself, but I figured your handwritin' would be a mite easier to read than mine would."

Mary saw how important this was to the gentle peacekeeper and finally nodded. "I can't guarantee how good it'll turn out, but I'll do the best I can with it."

"That's all I could ask, Mary... thanks." Buck pulled out his pocket watch and stared down at it for a moment. His mother had given it to him when he had turned sixteen... it had been one of the last presents she'd ever given him. He'd always kept it tucked away in his dresser for safekeeping until that precocious little Olivia had picked his pocket and taken his old watch... then he'd had to start carrying this one. He held it out to Mary, along with a piece of paper. "This is what I want put on it, if ya can do it."

Mary read the words and looked up at Buck, understanding showing in her green eyes. She placed a gentle hand on his arm and spoke softly. "Ezra?"

Buck nodded and looked down at the floor, his face turning red with embarrassment. "His got broke when he fell, an' I just thought I'd-" His words tapered off and he sighed and ran a hand nervously through his hair. "Aw hell, Mary... you'd have to be around 'im to understand, but he's really gotten to me. I reckon Chris told ya that we found out some of what he went through when he was little. I gotta tell ya... the look in his eyes when he talks about it... well, it's enough to rip your heart out. An' he's kinda latched onto me since he woke up... prob'ly just 'cause I was the first one he saw, but we've become pretty close... an' he's just so damn vulnerable an' innocent." Buck grinned and looked back up at Mary. "Kinda hard to associate those two words with our Ezra, ain't it?"

Mary shook her head slowly. "Not really, Buck... maybe he lowers his guard with me, or maybe it's just easier for a woman to sense it... but I've seen that vulnerability in his eyes. It's almost as if that little boy is looking out at me, asking to be acknowledged and accepted... and asking not to be hurt again. And he is innocent when it comes to expressing his feelings and emotions. I doubt he's had much practice in it." She looked down at the watch and piece of paper she held in her hand... reading the message written there again. She let her eyes return to Buck's face, and squeezed his arm gently. "I think he's found that acceptance here, that's why he stays. He knows he's safe from the hurt now." She laughed softly. "And he'd deny everything I've said if he were here."

Buck laughed with her and nodded. "Ya got that right. Ol' Ezra would hate to know that he was that easy for ya to see through. Well, I guess I better get back over to the clinic... we left Chris an' him curled up on the bed together... that bath wore 'em both plumb out. I'll drop by later to see how ya made out with the watch."

"Give me about an hour or so and I should have it finished. You want me to wrap it up for you while I've got it here or do you want to look at it first?" Mary walked with him to the door as she waited for his answer.

"I don't need to see it, I know you'll do a good job of it. An' I'd sure appreciate ya wrappin' it... I'm not too handy at that sorta thing." He thanked her one more time and left, moving quickly across the street to the clinic.

Mary watched him go and smiled. Chris was right... there was no better place for Ezra to be than with the six of them. She'd definitely do all she could to help convince Orrin of that when he got here. As she was closing the door, her gaze happened to land on the clinic, and an image of the hardened gunslinger and the reserved southern gambler curled up together on Nathan's bed appeared in her mind. Her sudden burst of laughter startled two matronly ladies strolling down the boardwalk. Mary merely smiled at them and nodded, before turning back into her offices and closing the door. But as they continued on their way, the two women paused and looked back as they heard another spate of mirthful laughter issue forth from behind the closed door. Shaking their heads, they turned and continued on, discussing the possibility that the lovely Mrs. Travis may have developed a drinking problem.


Buck slipped into the clinic and quietly eased the door closed. Walking over to the bed, he saw that both men were still sleeping... no wonder though, after the struggle over that damn bath they were both probably exhausted. He reached down to pull the covers back up over Ezra's shoulder, and was startled when Chris's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. Buck looked at his friend's face, and cringed as he saw the anger blazing out of his hazel eyes.

"You three are gonna pay for that one. I haven't figured out how or when... but you're definitely gonna pay." Chris gave Buck's wrist a painful squeeze before releasing it.

Buck rubbed his wrist as he tried to explain away his, Nathan's, and Josiah's actions. "Now, Chris... we knew you wanted to handle things yourself... and you looked like you had everything pretty much in control..." Buck couldn't keep it up, he started to snicker as he watched the gunslinger's angry expression turn slowly to one of amusement. The idea of anyone but Ezra having control over that whole situation was so ludicrous, that even Chris couldn't help but laugh.

Chris felt Ezra stir, and looked down to see the dark lashes fluttering slowly before his green eyes, still dull with sleep, gazed up at him.

Ezra felt a hand touch his cheek and heard a softly whispered, "Hey there, Little One." He turned his head and the minute he saw Buck standing there, he rolled away from Chris, raised his arms, and mumbled sleepily, "Want you, Buck."

Chris couldn't help but smile at the lop-sided grin that appeared on his friend's face as he bent down and let Ezra wrap his arms around his neck. He pushed himself up off the bed and stretched, trying to work the kinks out of his back. "Well, I can see I'm no longer needed here, so I'll go run a few errands and see how things are shaping up for tomorrow. I'll bring ya back something for supper as soon as I get done."

Buck eased down on the bed beside Ezra, and pulled him around so he could lay with his head in his lap. The gambler was on the verge of falling back to sleep... he'd finally released his hold on the boat and his thumb had found it's way into his mouth. Buck put the little toy on the night stand and then ran his hand across Ezra's forehead a few times, smoothing back his hair. He smiled as the Southerner's eyes finally closed all the way and his lips took a few last half-hearted pulls on his thumb. He looked back up at Chris and shrugged his shoulders. "Looks like there's no rush on it... I've got a feelin' after all he went through this mornin', this is gonna be a long nap."

Chris nodded in agreement, and helped Buck pull the blankets up around the younger man. Chris noticed that a few of the cuts on Ezra's feet were a little red looking, and decided to go find Nathan and have him take a look at them. Probably just needed to have a little of his healing salve rubbed into them, but he didn't want to take any chances.

"Anything in particular you want me to grab ya for supper?" Chris moved to the door, pausing with his hand on the latch as he waited for Buck's answer.

"I don't really care as long as it's hot and there's lots of it." Buck grinned at Chris and then glanced down at Ezra. "But why don't you see if ya can find somethin' else for the Little One to eat besides soup... that's about all he's had, and I think he's ready for some real food."

Chris nodded and left.

Buck glanced over at the tub and the mess that had been left by Ezra's bath, and decided he might as well make himself useful while the gambler was sleeping. He eased the smaller man off his lap and onto the pillow, rubbing his back gently until he settled back into sleep.

Standing next to the tub and surveying the damage, Buck shook his head in amazement. "How the hell could one simple bath turn into such a disaster?" As the ladies man began mopping up the mess, he thought about the look on Chris's face just before they had run out on him and the threat he had made a few moments ago. Guess I better do a damn good job of this... maybe then he'll take it easy when he finally pays us back.

Remembering the mess they'd left him with... Ezra screeching at the top of his lungs and clinging to him like a leech... Buck decided there probably wasn't anything they could do that would stop Chris from looking for revenge. He shuddered when he thought about some of the gunslinger's previous acts of retribution, and knew the three of them were probably in for a world of hurt.

Buck chuckled again. "Still, it was worth almost anything Chris comes up with just to have been here to see that panicked look on his face."


JD had made it to the general store just in time... Mrs. Potter was just getting ready to lock the door.

"Hi, Mrs. Potter... um... I hate to bother you with it bein' Christmas Eve an' all, but I really need to buy something before you close up." JD saw her hesitate and started to plead with her. "Please, ma'am... it'll only take a minute and it's really important."

Gloria Potter correctly surmised the young man needed to purchase a last minute Christmas gift, and pushed the door back open, motioning for him to follow her into the store. "Okay, Mr. Dunne... what'll it be... a nice bottle of perfume? Or perhaps some hair ribbons?"

JD stared at her in confusion. What was she talkin' about? Why would he want to give Ezra perfume or hair ribbons? "Um... no, ma'am... I'd like to buy that fishin' pole over there."

She stared at him in surprise. "You're giving Miss Wells a fishing pole for Christmas?"

"Miss Wells? Oh, you mean Casey! No, I already got her gift, this is for Ezra." JD went over and got the pole... the only one left in the store... and took it back to the counter.

Mrs. Potter stared down at the pole and then up at JD. "Mr. Standish fishes?" Somehow she just couldn't picture the dapper gambler sitting on a creek bank with a fishing pole in his hands.

JD smiled and paying for the pole, turned to go. "He's decided he wants to learn now. Thanks, Mrs. Potter... have a Merry Christmas." The young lawman hurried out of the store before she could ask him any more questions.


Buck had finished cleaning up... the only thing left was the tub, and he would need help carrying that back to the bathhouse. He was sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee, enjoying the peace and quiet while Ezra slept, when Nathan and Vin entered the clinic.

"Ah... just what I've been waitin' for... someone to help me with that tub. Come on, Vin... let's get it outta here before Ezra wakes up... I don't think he's gonna want to even look at the damn thing now." Buck stood and pulled his coat on before grabbing one end of the tub and following Vin out the door with it.

The racket they made getting it through the door woke Ezra, and he was sitting up in the middle of the bed, groggily rubbing his eyes when Nathan came and sat beside him. He blinked several times and stared at the healer for a few minutes, then began rubbing them again. "My eyes huwt, Nafan."

Nathan gently pulled his hands down and looked at his eyes. They were a little bloodshot from the effects of the soapy water, but he knew they'd be fine in a few hours. "You just got a little soap in 'em when ya took your bath, remember? Stop rubbin' them an' they'll be okay soon."

Ezra shot a nervous glance across the room, and heaved a huge sigh of relief when he saw that the tub was gone. Looking around the clinic, the younger man noticed something else that was missing. "Wherwe's Buck?"

Nathan had to hold back a chuckle at the relief the gambler obviously felt for being rid of all reminders of his horrible experience. "He an' Vin took the tub over t' the bathhouse... he'll be right back." He stood and pulled the blankets back off Ezra's legs. "Chris said your feet looked a little sore... how 'bout lettin' me take a look at 'em?"

Ezra nodded and obligingly stretched his legs out toward Nathan. He winced when the healer gently pressed around the edges of the cuts. Chris had been right, some of them were a little redder than the last time he'd checked them. Rising off the bed, he went to his cabinet and pulled out a tin of salve. "I'm gonna rub some of this on these sores, little guy... it'll only sting a little bit, an' it'll help 'em get better quicker. Ya ready?"

Nathan thought at first that Ezra was going to put up a fuss, but he finally nodded, and wrapping his arms around himself, braced for the touch of the salve.

The minute Nathan's fingers touched his foot, Ezra jerked it back. "I'm sorry, Ezra... did I hurt ya?"

Ezra giggled and moved his foot back toward the healer. "Nuh-uh... it tickwles! I'll twy an' hold it stiwll, Nafan."

It took a few tries, but they finally finished just as Buck and Vin returned. Nathan couldn't help but smile at the way Ezra's face absolutely lit up whenever Buck came into the room. When the ladies man sat down beside him, he leaned against him, but sat forward again almost immediately, turning to pull at Buck's coat. "D'erwe's a w'ump in yourw coat, Buck... what is it?"

Buck quickly pushed Ezra's hand away and stood up. He walked over to Nathan's cabinet and slipped the package inside. He'd stopped at Mary's and picked up Ezra's gift on his way back to the clinic and forgotten about it. "It's just some medicine I had to pick up for Nathan at the store. So ya feelin' better now that ya had a good nap?"

Nathan shot Buck a questioning look, but kept quiet when he saw him glance at Ezra and shake his head quickly.

Buck managed to turn Ezra's attention away from the package, and they spent the rest of the afternoon sitting on the bed with him and talking about things he'd like to do once Nathan said it was okay for him to leave the clinic. Eventually Josiah and JD wandered in to join them, and to Ezra's delight, Vin brought out his mouth organ and they showed the others what the gambler had learned. As the affectionate Southerner took turns leaning on each of his new brothers while he played, generously passing out warm hugs and frequent 'I wuv you's'... each of the men realized exactly how much they were going to miss Lit'l Ezra when he finally left them. They just hoped their Ezra would remember and accept the new sense of family they'd all been blessed with by this younger, more open, version of himself.


Chris entered the room he kept at the boarding house, and went straight to the closet. Opening the door, he paused a moment before taking the package off the shelf... did he really want to part with it? And how would he explain it to Ezra when he recovered his memory? Chris thought about the adult Ezra's reaction when he saw what his hardened leader had given him for Christmas, and knew it would probably only confuse him. Nathan was pretty sure he wouldn't remember much about what had happened after the accident. He'd have to take it back once the gambler's memory returned, but at least it would give him some pleasure for a little while.

He took the box of mementos off the shelf and carried both items over to the bed. Setting the box beside him as he settled on the edge of the bed, Chris looked down at the package he still held. Carefully removing the plain brown paper covering it, he revealed a book... Grimm's Fairy Tales. Adam had had the book before, but had left it outside and it had gotten ruined during a rainstorm. The boy had been heartbroken by the loss of his favorite possession, and Chris had been surprised to find another copy of it in the general store of a small town he and Buck had passed through on their way to Purgatory. When they'd returned home, Adam and Sarah were gone... but he'd never been able to part with the book. Even though the boy had never even touched it, it still was a reminder of him... one more thing to bind Chris to the memory of his son.

And now he wanted to share it with Ezra... with the little boy who only wanted someone to care about him. Having a bedtime story read to him was just one more of the joys of a normal childhood that he'd missed out on.

Setting the book aside, Chris picked up the box and placed it in his lap. He'd made it special to hold these few treasures... sanding it until it was smooth as silk, and carving Sarah's and Adam's names in the top. Lifting the lid, he looked down at what was left of his life with his family. It was a pitifully small collection of items... the fire had been intense and most everything had been destroyed. His hand stilled for a moment and then lifted a small, golden heart-shaped locket from the box. He'd given it to Sarah on their first anniversary. Opening the locket, he stared down at the tiny charred photographs that had somehow survived the fire... his on one side, hers on the other. He ran his finger lightly over her image, remembering again how happy she'd been the day that picture was taken. They'd just found out for sure that she was pregnant with Adam.

Sighing, he again looked at the book lying beside him on the bed. "What do you think, Sarah... is this a good enough gift for our Lit'l Ezra? I know it was meant for Adam, but I think he would have wanted it to bring some joy to another child... especially one who has known so little of it in his life. You'd have liked Ezra, Sarah. I know you... you'd have taken him right under your wing and pushed, pulled and prodded that stubborn southern gambler out from behind those damn walls of his."

He looked up, his eyes shiny with unshed tears. "So, Sarah... have you got any special pull up there? If you do, could you see if it would be possible to let Ezra remember some of what we're trying to do for him? It's gonna be an uphill battle to repair all the damage that's been done to his heart over the years, but we're gonna do our best... and with your help, I know we'd have a better chance at getting it done."

Chris closed the locket and lovingly placed it back in the box. He carried it back over to the shelf and gently set it back in place... letting his fingers run lightly across the lid tracing along the letters. "Merry Christmas, Sarah... kiss Adam for me." Chris stared at it for a moment longer, and then closed the door to the closet and returned to the bed. He wrapped the book back up and tied it with a bright red ribbon he'd gotten earlier at Mrs. Potter's, and then left it on the dresser to be picked up later after Ezra fell asleep.

Just as he was heading out the door, he heard the stage arriving down in the street. Well, time to talk to the Judge. Okay, Sarah... now would be a good time for you to start helping if you can. Ezra needs to stay here with us til he's better, and hopefully the Judge can make that happen.


Vin heard it first. Walking over to the window, he looked out and saw Chris standing with Mary and Billy as they waited for the Judge to step down out of the coach. "Stage's in."

Josiah joined him at the window and watched as Chris began talking to Judge Travis. "All right, brothers... it's time to send up our prayers that the Judge will listen to Chris and agree to help."

"Chwis has to talk to a judge? Is he in twouble?" A worried frown creased Ezra's face, and Buck was quick to calm his fears.

"Don't worry, Little One... Chris ain't in no trouble, he's just talkin' to Judge Travis about a prisoner we had in the jail last week. He's kinda our boss." Buck saw the relief wash over Ezra's face as he went back to fiddling with the mouth organ.

"Is he Biwwy Twavis' papa?" Ezra looked at Buck when no one answered his question.

Nathan looked at the others, and then at the gambler. "No, he's Billy's grandpa... you remember Billy?"

Ezra nodded his head and stared down at the bed. "He's Marwy Twavis' w'ittle boy, w'ight?"

Buck glanced at Nathan and then at Ezra, carefully watching his face for any signs of distress. "That's right... you know who Mary is?"

"Uh-huh... she owns d' newspaperw." Ezra turned his gaze back on Buck. "Buck, I'm hungwy... arwe we gonna eat soon?"

Buck shrugged at the others as Ezra changed the subject, and answered his question about supper. "Well, Chris was gonna bring us back some food, but he's kinda busy right now." He looked up at the others. "How 'bout we all chip in an' get enough food from the hotel for all of us, an' we can all just eat here tonight."

"Sounds good t' me... that way we can spend Christmas Eve with our little brother here. Y'all decide what we're gonna have an' I'll go an' fetch it." Vin agreed with the idea, and moved over to the bed and helped Ezra pick out a few new notes on the tiny instrument while he waited for the others to decide what they were going to have.

JD touched Ezra's arm to get his attention. "So what do you want for supper, Ezra? Is there any kinda food ya like best?"

Ezra thought for a minute, and smiled up at the men. "Do you f'ink d'ey might have fwied chicken? I w'eawy, w'eawy w'ike d'at."

JD pushed himself up off the bed and smiled down at the Southerner. "They might. I'll go with Vin an' tell them there's a special little guy over here who's really hungry for some of their delicious fried chicken, an' I'll bet they'll be glad to make some for ya."

Vin pocketed the money everyone passed him, and he and JD headed out of the clinic. Just before closing the door, JD stuck his head back in the room and looked at Nathan. "What should I get Ezra to drink... do you want him to have some more coffee or somethin' different?"

Nathan looked over at the younger man sitting on the bed. "Get 'im some tea this time, an' put a big dollop of honey in it t' sweeten it."

As JD closed the door, the others saw the grimace on Ezra's face at the mention of tea. Nathan hurried to assure him that it wasn't like the tea he'd had here at the clinic.

Ezra still looked skeptical, but he didn't say anything.

Nathan got up to set out some plates, and happened to glance back down at Ezra who was frowning at him and shaking his head.

"What?" His dark face drew down in a scowl at the look of obvious doubt on the gambler's face.

"I surwe hope d'at tea isn't as bad as yourws." Ezra shuddered at the remembered taste of Nathan's herbal brews. "It'd w'uin d' taste of my chicken!"

And ignoring Nathan's grumbling protests about being unappreciated, and Buck and Josiah's muffled snorts and snickers, Ezra leaned back against the ladies man and went back to playing with the harmonica.


Continued