Buck heard the music coming from the clinic as he climbed the stairs and paused outside the window, staring at the pair inside who were responsible for it. He stood there for a few minutes, quietly watching. Ezra would play several smooth, perfect notes, and then Vin would show him something new... the two brown heads pressed together as the tracker showed the gambler how to position his fingers to make the new sounds. The ladies man smiled softly and decided to let them spend some more time together. Moving carefully away from the window, he settled himself on the bench and leaned back against the wall... hat tipped forward over his eyes, long legs stretched out comfortably in front of him. He sat and let the sweet notes of the mouth organ surround him with a welcome sense of tranquility.
The next thing Buck was aware of was his head hitting the wall as he jerked awake. Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he noticed it was nearly dark... damn... poor Ezra had to be getting hungry, he'd missed dinner and here it was nearly time for supper. He stood and hurried into the clinic... and stopped in surprise when he found Vin sitting on the edge of the bed, lightly rubbing Ezra's back as he slept curled up against the tracker's legs.
Vin motioned for Buck to stay where he was and eased himself off the bed, straightening the blankets and waiting for a couple of seconds to make sure Ezra stayed asleep. Moving quietly away from the bed, he led Buck back outside and stood stretching the kinks out of his back as he chuckled softly. "Have a good nap there, Bucklin?"
Buck grinned sheepishly and glanced at the bench he'd been dozing on. "That music you two were playin' worked like a lullaby... put me right to sleep. How'd ya know I was out here anyway?"
"Nathan came back and brought Ezra some dinner around one o'clock... said ya were out here snorin' away, and that we might as well let ya catch some sleep since the little guy had ya up so early this mornin'." Vin smiled at his friend as Buck pulled out his pocket watch and stared down at it, straining to make out the time in the dim light, and frowning when he saw how late it was.
"Damn... guess I must a been tired after all." Buck looked back in at Ezra. "He been asleep long?"
Vin shook his head. "'Bout a half hour or so... no more 'n that. Guess I plumb wore 'im out with his music lessons."
Buck smiled and clapped Vin on the shoulder. "You did good with 'im, ya know. I watched the two of ya in there for a few minutes an' I could see how comfortable he was with ya."
Vin laughed and ducked his head shyly. "Well, it didn't start out all that smooth... I ain't never been around kids much an' didn't know what the heck t' say t' 'im. I thought he was gonna start cryin' on me til I got 'im playin' around with the mouth organ... he's purty good at it, too."
Hearing the pride in Vin's voice for Ezra's musical ability, Buck realized the gambler had captured another heart. Now why couldn't it happen with JD? He knew if the youngster would just spend some time with Ezra, it would. He'd just have to see if he could arrange it... an hour or so alone with the Southerner, and he'd have JD won over for sure.
As if reading his mind, Vin brought up the subject of their youngest member. "So Nathan tells me it didn't go so good over at the church."
Buck shook his head and looked in at Ezra. "Couldn't a gone much worse. I just don't understand the boy... I know he's young, but shouldn't he be able to see how important takin' care of Ezra is right now?"
Vin let his conversation with Nathan replay itself in his mind, remembering what he'd told him Josiah had said about JD's feelings of jealousy. "Yeah, maybe he should be able t' understand, but should don't always work when you're dealin' with strong emotions like JD's feelin' right now."
"The jealousy? Hell, he won't even admit to it an' besides, we could still be spendin' time together if he'd just come up here to the clinic. Ezra'd love to have him here, too... he really likes the Kid." Buck saw Vin shake his head. "What?! Why the hell has everyone I know been shakin' their damn heads at everything I say today?"
Vin sighed and tried to explain it to the obviously confused older man. Buck didn't have a jealous bone in his body and just couldn't understand how anyone else could. "Jealousy's a powerful emotion... an' it ain't always one that's easy t' own up to. Nathan told me that Josiah thinks JD's not just jealous of you... he's jealous of Ezra, too. I gotta admit, I didn't see that side of it til he pointed it out, but think about it, Buck... it makes sense. The Kid has gotten pretty close t' Ezra, always defendin' 'im if we came down too hard on 'im, hangin' around 'im whenever he isn't with you... heck, he's almost as much of a big brother t' JD as you are." Vin finally saw a flicker of understanding cross Buck's face.
"And when Ezra came to an' latched onto me instead of him..." Buck saw where Vin was headed, but he still had his doubts about how much sense it made. "Yeah, but Ezra don't remember nothin' about his life with us... so why would he have any special feelin's for JD? Probably the only reason he's gotten attached to me is 'cause I was the first person he saw when he woke up."
Vin had had the same doubts when Nathan had explained it to him. "Yeah, but JD ain't thinkin' with his head, he's thinkin' with his heart. All he can see is that Ezra didn't turn t' him when he needed help, he turned t' you... an' with ya spendin' all your time with Ezra instead of him like ya used t'... JD's probably thinkin' he's lost both a ya. Then when ya pile on the guilt he's got for bein' jealous an' mad at Ezra when he knows deep down in his heart that he shouldn't... well, it's got him so damned confused that now he don't rightly know what he is feelin'."
"I noticed that he seems a mite uncomfortable around Ezra, too. I don't think he knows how to handle 'im bein' so open and affectionate now... but I think I've got a plan to change that. An' maybe if I can get 'im involved with taking care of Ezra, he'll get over being nervous around 'im and understand why we all feel the need to protect 'im." Buck glanced down at the street and saw JD entering the sheriff's office. His head hung down, and there was none of the usual bounce in his step... he walked as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Buck hated seeing him that way, and hoped his plan would make everything right between them again.
JD looked up in surprise as Vin entered the jail... he wasn't due to relieve him for another two hours. "Early aren't ya?"
"Nah... I'm on my way over t' grab some supper. Buck wanted me to stop an' ask ya t' run over t' the clinic for a few minutes... he needs ya t' stay with Ezra while he runs an' gets some clean clothes from his room." Vin watched as JD's mouth turned down, and knew he was going to have trouble convincing him.
"Why couldn't you have stayed with 'im?" JD sank lower in his chair. He'd had enough of arguing with Buck for one day, and he didn't want to go through it again.
"I need t' grab some supper before I have t' relieve ya here, otherwise I'd a been glad t' stay with 'im." Vin didn't know who he felt sorrier for... JD for feeling so miserable... or poor Ezra who just wanted to be friends with the boy. "It's not so bad, JD... ya just need t' be around 'im a little more t' get used t' 'im."
"I didn't say it was bad bein' around 'im," JD grumbled defensively. "But I'm supposed to be on guard as long as we've got a prisoner in here."
Vin just stared at him. JD knew as well as he did that old Mr. Sanderson didn't actually need guarding.
JD sighed in exasperation. He knew they wouldn't leave it alone until he went... if Vin didn't convince him, one of the others would inexplicably drop by with another excuse for him to go to the clinic. "Okay... fine... I'll go, but Buck better not take too long. Mr. Sanderson's just about sobered up, and he'll be wantin' to get outta here and go home soon."
Vin nodded and turned to leave. Pausing with one hand on the door latch, he looked back at the younger man. "Give Ezra a chance, JD... you're really missin' out on somethin' special by not spendin' time with 'im."
JD watched Vin go out and quietly close the door behind him. He knew Vin was right. He'd seen how much enjoyment everyone else seemed to be getting out of Ezra as a little boy... but it just really made him uncomfortable being around him. JD hadn't figured out why yet... but it did.
Pushing himself reluctantly up out of his chair... JD checked on his prisoner one more time, took the keys and left the jail. Might as well get this over with... but Buck better damn well hurry... I ain't stayin' up there long.
Buck had decided not to even mention what had happened at the church... he didn't want to give JD an excuse to go storming back out. So when he finally got there, the ladies man merely told him Ezra was still sleeping, and he'd be back as soon as he grabbed his clothes and picked up some supper for the two of them. Then he hurried out of the clinic before Ezra woke up and JD changed his mind.
JD was surprised but relieved when Buck left so quickly... he'd been sure the older man was going to give him another lecture as soon as he got there. The young sheriff moved slowly over to stare down at Ezra... his dark eyes widening and then drawing down in a frown when he saw that the gambler was lying there curled up in the bed, sucking his thumb. For cryin' out loud... how could they let 'im do that? Ezra would hate it if he knew anyone had seen 'im like this. Reaching down, he slowly eased it out of his mouth... holding his breath as Ezra whimpered softly, his lips moving as they searched for the comforting presence of his thumb. Just when JD thought for sure the Southerner was going to wake up, he sighed and pressed his face deeper into the pillow and settled back into sleep.
Seeing Ezra like this, so vulnerable and young looking, JD's guilt began to make itself felt again. This was just Ezra after all, his friend... and it was partly his fault that he was hurt in the first place. The young man reached out a tentative hand and ran his fingers gently over the sleeping gambler's arm. He tried again to understand why he kept having these feelings of resentment... but before he could even begin to puzzle it out, the image of Buck and Ezra constantly huddled together on the bed popped into his head. It was as if it were just the two of them against the world... with no room for him in their lives anymore.
JD jerked his hand back, and mumbling angrily to himself, stalked over to the window to watch for Buck's return. "I'll be glad when Maude gets here an' takes 'im home with her, then things can go back to the way they were." He never noticed that Ezra had awoken and was listening, his face a mask of hurt and fear.
Buck came whistling down the stairs of the saloon with a bundle of clothes under his arm. Vin and Chris looked up as he came over to their table... a scowl darkening the blonde man's features.
"Don't you think you'd best be gettin' yourself back up to the clinic? JD's been alone with Ezra for over an hour now... aren't you even a little worried about how things might be going?" Chris hadn't been too thrilled with Buck's plan to bring the Kid and Ezra together... he wasn't sure JD was ready to accept the gambler's new place in Buck's life just yet.
"Nah... you've been around Ezra, Chris... how could the Kid possibly not be won over by 'im? All JD needed was to be forced to spend some time with 'im... they're probably up there havin' a good ol' time gettin' to know one another again." Buck smiled, positive he'd solved everything with his two friends.
"Yeah, well... just the same, I'd feel better if you got your butt back over there and made sure. Besides, aren't you supposed to get some supper for Ezra? Nathan'll have your head if he finds out you were late feedin' him." Chris had to smile when he saw the grin on Buck's face falter as he thought about Nathan's protective attitude when it came to the childlike Southerner.
Vin chuckled as Buck left the table without another word, hurrying over to the bar to ask Inez to box him up some food to take to the clinic. It was common knowledge that Nathan was worse than a mother bear protecting her cub when it came to one of them being sick or injured... and none of them wanted to cross him when he got like that. Not even Buck.
JD was still standing at the window watching for him when Buck left the saloon. "Finally." He glanced back at Ezra and seeing that he was still apparently asleep, decided to go ahead and leave... not wanting to get in another argument with Buck right then.
Slipping out the door, JD closed it quietly behind him and ran lightly down the stairs and across the street to the jail. He never glanced toward the saloon or he would have seen Buck disappearing into the alley that led back to the livery. And if he'd have taken one last look back at the clinic, he would have seen Ezra standing at the window, tears streaming down his face as he felt his new safe world crumbling to pieces around him.
Buck was hurrying past the alley, when he was suddenly grabbed by the arm and jerked back into the shadows. Before he could react, he found himself pinned against the wall of the general store by Millie, whose hands were frantically tearing at his clothes as her mouth captured his in a breath-stealing kiss.
The ladies man dropped his two bundles and desperately tried to get a hold of her hands, which seemed to be everywhere at once. He managed to pull his head back and break the kiss, gasping for air as he tried to reason with the woman.
"Millie... darlin', stop..." But Buck's pleas fell on deaf ears. Millie lunged forward and locked him into another searing kiss as she managed to drag his coat off and start on his shirt.
"Buck... I've missed you so much..." Millie continued her assault on Buck, whose protests were weakening rapidly. The heated touch of her hands and lips had his mind reeling until he lost all thoughts of the clinic, Ezra or anything other than the woman pressed against him. Buck made one last feeble attempt to break her hold on him, but her fingers finally reached the bare skin of his chest and with a fierce growl of desire, he pulled her tightly against him and returned her kiss with an intensity that surprised them both.
Ezra stared out into the street, his face pressed against the cool glass of the window as he watched JD enter the jail. D'ey pwomised me d'ey wouldn't send me away... Buck pwomised me. Then his tears slowed as he convinced himself that the older man would have told him if his mama was coming... maybe JD was wrong.
Suddenly he spotted Buck going into an alley down the street, and decided he would go ask him if what JD said was true. Ezra knew Buck would tell him the truth... he'd never lie to him.
Ezra opened the door and stared out into the dark for a few minutes, scared to go out and at the same time scared not to... what if his mama came while he was in the clinic alone... he needed to get to Buck. Buck would protect him.
Clinging tightly to the railing, Ezra eased his still sore body down the steps and onto the boardwalk. The temperature had dropped and the light rain that had been falling most of the day had become considerably heavier since the sun had set. The planking was cold beneath Ezra's bare feet, but he hardly noticed since his entire attention was focused on finding Buck. Looking around, he spotted the alley he'd seen the ladies man disappear into. Carefully staying in the shadows of the buildings, he slowly made his way toward it... jumping at every sound that seemed to spring out of the night at him.
Ezra saw some men stagger out of the saloon, yelling and gesticulating wildly as they angled across the street in the general direction of the clinic. The terrified gambler pressed himself against the front of the bank, waiting quietly, heart pounding, until they had passed him... then hurried across the street and approached the spot where he'd last seen Buck.
Ezra stopped at the entrance to the alley, jumping as he suddenly heard a loud moaning coming from the darkness in front of him. He started to turn and run, but realized that Buck could be hurt and in need of his help. Creeping forward slowly, he whispered the older man's name. "Buck? Is d'at you? Arwe you aw'w'ight, Buck?"
Further down the alley, Buck thought he heard his name being called and tried to pull away from Millie... but she jerked him back against her, murmuring his name as her fingers fumbled with the buttons of his drawers. Buck struggled half-heartedly to get away from her... he knew he needed to get back to the clinic... but his head swam with the emotions that the overzealous woman's onslaught had set off. "Millie... I'd love to, darlin'... but... we're gettin' wet... I need t' get back t' the... stop... st-... oohh... damn..."
Suddenly Buck was jerked back to reality by a loud gasp and a jolt as someone ran into him, pushing and striking out at Millie as they tried to get in between the half-naked gunman and his supposed attacker.
"W'eave 'im a'wone! Get away frwom 'im!" Buck stared in amazement at Ezra as he flailed his fists wildly, fiercely determined to protect his friend.
Buck took a painful hit to the nose from one of Ezra's badly aimed punches at Millie, and in a desperate attempt to stop the attack, grasped the smaller man around the waist and swung him back out of reach of the bewildered woman.
"Ezra! Stop it right now!!" Buck shouted in Ezra's face as he held his arms pinned to his sides and shook him roughly. "What are ya doin' out here?! Why the hell'd ya leave the clinic?!"
Ezra froze and stared at Buck with wide, green eyes that quickly filled with tears. With a strangled sob, he tore himself from the gunman's painful grip and ran with an awkward, limping gait back down the alley.
Immediately realizing what he'd done, Buck attempted to run after the fleeing gambler. "Ezra! Wait! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" but forgetting about the pants that were pooled around his ankles, he only succeeded in falling flat on his face with the first step he took. He scrambled back up, dragging his pants up over his hips... but Ezra was already rounding the corner into the street, his nightshirt flapping around his bare legs as he ran. "Oh God... Ezra... I'm so sorry..." Buck whispered sadly as he scrambled around in the dark searching for the rest of his clothes. When he was finally dressed, he ignored the angry recriminations coming from Millie, and raced down the alley after the younger man.
Ezra felt the small stones and pieces of broken glass that littered the alley gouging the bottoms of his feet, but he ignored the pain. All he wanted was to be back in the clinic, safe in his bed... and have this all just be a horrible nightmare.
Ezra heard Buck call his name, but refused to stop until he'd made it safely across the deserted street. Once he made it onto the boardwalk, he looked back over his shoulder to see if the ladies man was following him. Finding the street still empty, the gambler turned and took two steps toward the stairs that led up to the clinic before he was stopped by a pair of large hands coming down on his shoulders.
"Well, what have we here... Wee Willie Winkie?" The three huge, drunken men surrounding Ezra roared with laughter at their little joke. The one who had spoken had long, matted red hair, a big, filthy red beard, and towered over the slightly built Southerner. "Well, come on, little man... ain't ya gonna answer me?!"
Ezra trembled from the cold and fear as he tried to back away from the terrifying man, but was stopped by another large, dirty pair of hands that wrapped themselves in the material of his nightshirt and lifted him practically off his feet. Shoving his face in close to the terrified gambler's, the man growled and demanded an answer to his partner's question. His fetid breath nearly made Ezra gag as he struggled to remember what the other man had asked.
The third giant of a man moved in behind Ezra, grabbing his shoulder and shaking him as he repeated the first man's question. "He asked ya if ya were Wee Willie Winkie!! Ya better answer 'im if ya knows what's good fer ya!"
Ezra looked frantically over their shoulders to see if Buck had emerged from the alley yet, but the street was empty except for himself and the three wretched men who had him in their grip. He dragged his eyes back to them and forced himself to answer... his voice quivering with fear and his cheeks wet with a mixture of rain and tears. "My name's not Wiwwie... it's Ezwa."
The men just stared incredulously at the tear-stained face of the man-child standing before them. Finally after a moment of stunned silence, they burst into raucous laughter and began mimicking Ezra. "'My name's Ezwa'... what the hell's the matter with ya boy? Are ya stupid?"
"Must be, Jake... he's out here wanderin' around in his cute little nightgown in the rain... cain't be too damn bright, now can he?" The men all laughed harshly ignoring the fact that they were standing out in the rain, too... they were just too drunk to realize it. Ezra was so scared, he couldn't even think... he just knew he wanted to get away from these bad men and back to the safety of the clinic. "Pwease w'et me g-go. I h-have to go to b-bed now."
The creature who was holding Ezra up in the air set him down and smoothed out his nightshirt... apologizing profusely as he did so. "Oh, I'm so sorry, little man... I didn't realize it was past your bedtime. Here, let me help ya along." Ezra warily attempted to move away from the man, but was suddenly shoved hard from behind, catapulting him into the largest of the three... the one with the disgusting red beard.
"What the hell d' ya think you're doin' runnin' into me like that?! Ain't ya got no manners at all??" Ezra cried out in pain as the man grabbed his broken arm and jerked him back towards his partners. He began sobbing as they continued pushing him back and forth, grabbing at his nightshirt in an effort to rip it off... threatening to leave him naked in the street if he didn't quit trying to get away.
JD came out of the jail to see what all the commotion was and stood stunned for a moment at the sight of Ezra being tormented by the three drunken men towering over him. "Aw shit... Ezra." His friend's cry of pain galvanized JD into action, and he tore across the street and threw himself at Ezra's attackers. The boy managed to knock one of the men off his feet, but was quickly grabbed by the other two who shoved him into the frightened Southerner, driving them both off the boardwalk and into the muddy street.
Buck came flying out of the alley, jerking on his coat, and Chris and Vin came barreling out of the saloon at the same time. Seeing their two young friends thrown down in the street and the drunken men closing in on them, they rushed to their rescue.
JD struggled to push himself up off of Ezra, who lay moaning and sobbing beneath him. The gambler had landed hard on his left side, reawakening the pain of his bruises, and starting a new throbbing ache in his still-healing arm. Before their friends could get to them, both young men had been jerked to their feet and sent reeling again by matching blows to the face.
Chris and Vin reached the men before Buck and had them subdued in a matter of moments. They sobered up quickly after finding themselves staring down the barrels of Vin's mares leg and Chris's Colt.
Buck immediately went to where Ezra lay crying, curled up in a ball of pain, and knelt down in the mud beside him. "Oh, God... Ezra... did they hurt ya, Little One?" He tried to pull the gambler into his arms, but he cried out when Buck moved him, grabbing his arm and cradling it tightly against his body. The older man looked up when he heard Nathan and Josiah's concerned voices, and spotted JD being tended to a few feet away.
"God damn it, JD!! What the hell happened?! You were supposed to stay with 'im!!" Buck was shouting angrily at the young man, not paying any attention to JD's attempts to apologize or explain... or the stricken look on his face at his former best friend's total lack of concern over his own possible injuries.
Chris saw some of the townsfolk headed their way and immediately whispered urgently to Nathan and Buck. "Get Ezra back up to the clinic now." They'd wanted to keep the gambler's problem a secret. Other than Mary and Inez, no one else in the small town had been told exactly what was wrong with him... just that he'd been injured in the fall and was slowly recovering. Turning back to Vin, he gestured toward the three now docile and repentant prisoners. "You and Josiah get these three fools outta town, and make sure they know enough not to come back... we don't need them spreading the news about Ezra."
Vin and Josiah shoved their prisoners roughly toward the livery, following closely behind them. They'd definitely make sure the bastards knew what people around here thought of anyone who would take advantage of someone in Ezra's condition. The three men would wish they'd never even heard of Four Corners, much less stopped there.
Buck and Nathan managed to ease Ezra carefully to his feet, scooping him up between them as his legs threatened to fold under him. The gambler sobbed pitifully as they carried him quickly up the stairs, his face pressed tightly against Buck's shoulder, his tears quickly adding to the dampness of the gunman's shirt.
Chris watched them go and then knelt beside JD who still sat in the mud, his eyes never leaving Buck... the hurt and guilt warring for dominance in his heart, with the hurt finally winning out.
"You alright, son?" Chris saw JD's eyes follow Buck up the stairs and knew the pain the boy was feeling had nothing to do with the darkening bruise on his jaw. Buck's angry words and uncaring attitude had hurt the boy more than any punch possibly could, and Chris wasn't surprised when JD pulled away from him, mumbled he was fine, and stalked back over to the jail.
Chris started to follow, but decided to give him some time to cool off before he tried talking to him. Something was going to have to give soon though, or JD and Buck would never be able to get back to the closeness they'd shared practically since their first meeting.
After assuring the few concerned people who were still standing around that everything was alright... it had been just a few drunks who were now on their way out of town... Chris headed up the stairs to see how Ezra was doing. He hoped the gambler was not too bruised or shaken up... the Judge was coming tomorrow and this definitely wouldn't help their attempts to gain custody of him. He hated the idea of leaving Four Corners now, but he knew that's what they'd all do if the Judge ruled against them. Chris glanced back over his shoulder at the jail... at least he hoped all of them would be going.
Nathan and Buck ignored Ezra's cries of protest and stripped his rain soaked nightshirt off of him, wiping away as much of the mud as they could. He was going to need a bath, but it would have to wait until in the morning when he'd had a chance to calm down and get some rest. After slipping a dry nightshirt over his shivering form, they settled him in the bed so Nathan could check him over. He had to wash out the small cuts on the bottom of the younger man's feet and disinfect them, but his only other injuries were bruises... a few new ones on his arm and the nasty one that was slowly darkening on his jaw.
Buck sat on the bed beside Ezra and smoothed his still damp hair off his forehead. The gambler lay on his right side, staring at the wall... his breath hitching every few minutes as he fought the urge to cry again. Other than a few quiet sobs, he'd been silent since they'd carried him into the clinic. "You gonna talk to me, Little One?" Buck waited a few minutes, but got no response from the younger man.
Nathan watched as Buck placed his hand on Ezra's back and began moving it slowly in small circles, massaging the tense muscles until he finally felt the slender form relax. "Ezra... please talk to me. I'm sorry I yelled at ya in the alley... ya just startled me, that's all... I didn't expect to see ya there." He felt the smaller man's breathing become more rapid and the muscles tense back up. "Why'd ya leave the clinic, pard?"
Chris walked in just in time to hear Buck's question and stopped, standing quietly by the door as he waited for Ezra's answer. He was curious as to what would have made the Southerner leave the safety of the clinic.
Ezra turned his face just enough to enable him to look up into Buck's eyes. His lower lip quivered, and the tears trickled down his cheeks as he stared at the ladies man. "I was scarwed." His voice was so low and soft, they had to strain to hear him.
"Scared of what, Ezra?" Chris asked, moving to squat beside the bed and wrapping his hand around the cold fingers that clutched at the blankets.
"Goin' away." Ezra's eyes shifted from Buck's face to Chris's. The gunslinger began gently rubbing the gambler's hand between his own, trying to bring some warmth back into it. He glanced at Buck to see if he knew what Ezra was talking about, but the other man merely shrugged and shook his head.
"No one's goin' anywhere, Ezra." Chris saw a flicker of doubt in the shiny green eyes that stared intently back at him. "Who'd you think was goin' away?"
Ezra looked up at each of the three men who seemed to honestly not know what he was talking about. Maybe JD had been wrong? Or had he been drweamin'? Ezra thought back and distinctly remembered opening his eyes and watching JD walk towards the window as he said it. Ezra's hopes fell again as he realized it hadn't been a dream.
Buck, Chris and Nathan watched as the expression in Ezra's eyes changed from doubt, to hope, and finally back to the fear again. "Come on, pard... tell us. Who's goin' away?"
"I am. JD said. He said Mama was comin' t' take me home wif herw... an' he was g'wad... an' d'at d'en everwyfing can be d' way it was beforwe." Ezra's voice trembled as he whispered the words, his heart breaking at the thought of leaving all his new friends... of leaving Buck. His eyes filled with tears as he stared up at the ladies man, and he began to sob. "I don't wanna w'eave you, Buck... you pwomised I wouldn't have to. Did I do somefin' w'eawy bad? If I did, I'm sowwy... I'm w'eawy sowwy, Buck!"
Buck tried to speak around the huge lump that had formed in his throat. He bent over and gathered Ezra up in his arms, rocking him back and forth as he murmured reassurances in his ear, his face pressed tightly against the younger man's. The feel of Ezra's hot, scalding tears on his cheek making the lump in his throat grow impossibly bigger until he could barely choke out the words. "You're not leavin' me, Little One... I told ya that. No one's takin' ya away from me, not even your mama... no one."
Ezra raised his head up and stared into Buck's eyes. "Buck? Did you know my mama was comin' to get me?"
Buck stared sadly back at Ezra, wishing desperately that he'd told him about Maude sooner. He finally nodded. "Yeah, Little One... I did. But we're not lettin' her take ya away from here... I promise."
Ezra's voice had an accusing note to it now. It was hard for him to understand all this. He'd thought he could trust Buck, but he hadn't told him about his mama, and he hadn't been there when he needed him... so how could he believe him when he said they weren't sending him away. "Why didn't you tewll me? Arwe you surwe you'rwe not tirwed of takin' carwe of me? Is d'at why JD was herwe when I woke up 'stead of you?"
Buck tried to pull Ezra back into his arms, but he pushed him away and reached down to hold Chris's hand instead. Buck didn't think anything could ever hurt him more than the look of mistrust that settled over the gambler's face.
"I was gonna tell ya, Ezra... but I kept gettin' interrupted an' then ya fell asleep. An' of course I'm not gettin' tired of takin' care of ya... I love bein' here with you. I just had to get some clean clothes an' some supper for us... an' I thought it might be good for JD to spend some time with ya." He could see the doubt still lingering in those bright green eyes, and realized just how lame his words probably sounded to his young mind. Ezra was right, he should have told him right away about his mama... and now he realized he should have waited til the younger man was awake and told him he was leaving him with JD. It had never even occurred to him that JD would just blurt out the news about Maude like that... or worse yet, that he'd leave the vulnerable gambler alone.
Buck shot a determined look at Chris and Nathan and eased himself up off the bed. It was time he had a talk with JD... they had to get this straightened out now. It was one thing when it was just between him and the boy, but now it had affected Ezra... and it could have gotten him seriously hurt.
"I'm goin' over to the jail... I'll be back in a few minutes. You'll stay with 'im?" Buck nodded at Ezra, and watched sadly as the gambler held tighter to Chris's hand, but made no protest at his leaving.
Chris and Nathan sat down on the bed beside Ezra and nodded. "Take it easy on 'im, Buck... at least give the Kid a chance to explain." Chris saw his friend nod, but also saw the anger and hurt flashing in his deep blue eyes. "Remember... he's hurtin' over this whole mess, too."
Buck opened his mouth to say something, and then thought better of it and merely nodded again before leaving.
Ezra had sat silently between the gunslinger and the healer, and his only reaction to Buck saying he was leaving had been a tightening of his hold on Chris's fingers. But the minute the door closed, he began to tremble... and looking at him, Chris and Nathan saw the battle he was waging to hold himself together.
Chris let go of his hand and opened his arms to the smaller man. "Ezra..." Chris spoke his name softly, and the compassion and understanding in his voice was all it took to push the gambler over the edge. Ezra threw himself into the waiting arms and clung to Chris as he sobbed uncontrollably... convinced that he'd just lost his best friend, and that his new happy life was over.