Buck quietly walked over and stood staring down at Ezra, his heart breaking a little at the thought of the pain and confusion he knew the gambler was going to be put through when his mother showed up.
Sitting carefully on the edge of the bed, Buck pulled the blanket up over Ezra's shoulder. He'd wait til the gambler woke up to give him the news of Maude's impending visit since he was definitely in no hurry to destroy the happiness that Ezra had been finally enjoying.
Buck heard the door open and looked up, holding a finger to his lips to warn JD as he came in, to be quiet. Glancing down to make sure Ezra was still asleep, he got up and led JD over to the other side of the room.
"How's he doin'?" JD twisted his hat nervously in his hands, waiting for Buck to light into him again for what he'd said the night before.
"Better." Buck noticed that JD refused to look at him, and regretted dealing so harshly with him for his careless comment to Ezra. "Listen... JD... I'm sorry for—"
But JD stopped him before he could apologize. "No, it was my fault, Buck... I shoulda thought before I said that about his whiskers. I know we've gotta be careful with 'im." He finally looked at Buck and smiled. "So how'd he do with his first shave?"
Buck chuckled and shook his head, remembering Ezra's reaction to the sight of that straight razor coming at his throat. "Well, I don't think it was quite as much fun as he thought it was gonna be, but he got through it okay. Josiah didn't draw any blood at least."
JD laughed and then nodded toward Ezra, who was stirring around in the bed. "Looks like he's wakin' back up... you gonna tell him 'bout Maude now?"
Buck sighed and moved over to sit beside Ezra again. "'Fraid so, Kid. I wish t' hell she'd just stay away an' ignore 'im like she always has before." Buck was looking down at the gambler and failed to see the frown that appeared on JD's face as the gunman's attention shifted back to Ezra.
"Yeah, but maybe he'll want to go with her. He did cry for her when he first—" JD's words froze on his lips as Buck's head shot up. He couldn't ever remember seeing the older man that angry with him, and he knew he was treading on thin ice with what he was suggesting.
"You don't honestly think we'd let Ezra go with her even if he wanted to, do ya?" Buck's voice was pitched low to keep from scaring the gambler, but that did nothing to lessen the intensity of it. "Hell, she'll be lucky if we even let her see 'im at all. Personally, I'd just as soon keep her right away from 'im altogether."
Ezra moaned softly as he turned onto his bruised side, and Buck had to move quickly to catch his broken arm and restrain it before he banged it on the night table. "Easy there, pard... let's get woke up before you go rollin' around in the bed." Buck smiled down at the gambler as his eyes opened and stared blearily up at him. Ezra blinked several times, smiled back, and then noticed JD.
"Hi, JD! Did you come herwe to see me?" Ezra's face lit up at the sight of the young peacekeeper standing beside his bed.
JD felt a huge wave of guilt wash over him at the thoughts he'd been having about Ezra. "Sure did. How ya doin', little guy?"
"I'm gettin' betterw. Nafan even w'et me outta d' bed d'is morwnin' so 'siah could shave me." Ezra caught JD by surprise when he reached out and grabbed his hand and brought it up to his face. "Feewl, JD... see how smoove 'siah got it?"
JD felt Ezra's soft cheek and then pulled his hand away. He was still uncomfortable with this new demonstrative version of the gambler. The young boy watched as Ezra sat up and leaned against Buck, frowning as the gunman slipped his arms around the smaller man. He felt a strange feeling spear through him... a feeling of loss... but what was strange about it was that it wasn't Buck he had the sensation about this time, it was Ezra. Now what the heck was that about? JD sighed. Damn, one more thing to add to all this confusion I'm feelin'.
"Yeah, it's nice and smooth, Ezra." JD lightly dismissed the gambler, and turned his attention back to Buck. "I got the bait and the poles loaded on the horses... when are we headin' for the creek?"
Buck just stared at JD in amazement. He knew it was Saturday, their usual day to get in some fishin', but that was before Ezra got hurt. He couldn't believe that the Kid still thought they'd be going. "JD... we can't—" The older man stopped as Ezra pulled away from him and looked pleadingly up into his face.
"You'rwe goin' fishin', Buck?! Can I go, too? Pwease, Buck... I neverw been fishin' beforwe!" Ezra's face was lit up with excitement as his head swiveled back and forth between Buck and JD. "Pwease, JD... pwease can I go wif you?"
Buck glared at JD before looking regretfully at Ezra and shaking his head. "Sorry, pard... we can't go fishin' today, but as soon as—"
"But why, Buck? I'll be good... I pwomise! I'll do everwyfing you tewll me to... and I'll be w'eal quiet... honest, Buck! Pwease?" Ezra's eyes glittered with the tears that were threatening to fall and his lower lip quivered pitifully as he begged Buck to reconsider.
Buck cupped Ezra's chin gently in one hand while wiping away the tears that were now slowly trickling down his cheeks with the other, and tried to explain. "I promise, Little One... just as soon as your arm heals up, JD an' I'll take ya fishin'."
JD scowled and threw his hands up in exasperation. "Geez, Buck... can't someone else stay with him this afternoon? Just because he can't go yet doesn't mean we have to stay home. We always go fishin' on Saturdays when the weather's good." JD saw Buck's face turning red with suppressed anger, but he was too fed up with everything in their lives revolving around Ezra's problems to care. His voice rose as he continued. "Does the whole world have to come to a stop just because Ezra's sick?! Why do you think you're the only one that can take care of him... is it because you feel guilty about helping to cause his accident?! Well, I had just as much to do with it as you did, and you don't see me sitting here babying him!"
JD knew he should quit... could hear just how awful his words must sound to poor Ezra... but he just couldn't help himself. All the hurt and confusion had finally become too much for him with this latest disappointment.
"Damn it, that's enough, JD." Buck kept his voice down, trying not to scare Ezra more than he already was, but it did nothing to hide the anger and hurt that the boy's words had caused. He felt Ezra push away from him and looked down, shocked at how pale and drawn the gambler's face had become. "Ezra? It's okay, pard... JD don't mean what he's sayin'. He's just upset right now."
JD had seen the pain he was causing reflected on Ezra's face, and had just been about to apologize and tell him he hadn't meant to hurt him... but when Buck again turned to the gambler, ignoring JD's feelings completely, the words just seemed to die in his throat. Turning away from the two on the bed, he made his way slowly to the door, the pain of Buck's uncaring attitude toward him bringing a flood of tears to his eyes.
Ezra leaned around Buck to stare sadly at JD's retreating back. His own eyes were awash with tears, and he struggled against Buck, trying to get off the bed and go to the young man. "JD! I'm sowwy, JD... pwease don't w'eave! I don't w'eawy want to go fishin' wif ya! You and Buck can go!"
JD paused with his hand on the door... his feelings of resentment and guilt leaving him torn as to what he should do.
Buck finally let go of Ezra, and the Southerner climbed off the bed and hobbled over to where JD still stood by the door. Reaching out a shaking hand, Ezra touched the smaller man's shoulder and squeezed it gently. "I'm sowwy, JD... pwease don't be mad at me." Ezra's voice was just a whisper, but it cut through JD's heart like a knife.
JD couldn't bring himself to turn and look at the gambler, but he did reach up and give his hand a return squeeze. "It's okay, Ezra... I'm not mad at ya. And I'm sorry, too... I never should have said those things."
"Can you stay an' talk to me, JD? Pwease?" Ezra pulled his hand back and scrubbed the tears off his face as he pleaded with the boy to stay.
"I can't right now, Ezra... but I'll try an' come back later. Okay?" JD turned the knob and quickly slipped out of the room before the tears he'd been holding back finally fell.
The others watched as he hurried past them, his head down, his long hair hiding the hurt shining in his eyes.
Vin waited til he was out of earshot, and then looked at the other two men. "Why don't you two go see if you can get 'im to go over to the church with ya... tell 'im ya need help decoratin' or somethin'. I'll try an' get Buck to come over there an' talk to 'im."
Josiah and Nathan nodded and hurried off after JD, hoping they could at least get him to listen. They were willing to try anything to mend this rift between he and Buck... it was hard enough dealing with Ezra's problems without having this constant tension between the two closest members of their group.
Vin stood and watched until they caught up to the boy, talked a few minutes, and then with Josiah's long arm wrapped around JD's shoulders, moved off toward the church. Then after taking a deep breath and bracing himself for battle, Vin opened the door and stepped into the clinic. Getting JD to cooperate was the easy part... tearing Buck away from Ezra's side would take a whole heap of fast-talking. Not something Vin was especially good at, but definitely something he was willing to try if it might get the two best friends back together again.
"Mary! Can I talk to you for a minute?" Chris caught her just before she re-entered the Clarion.
Mary smiled up at him, but her smile faded quickly as she saw the yellow piece of paper in his hand and the serious look on his face. "Of course. Come on inside so we can talk privately."
Chris followed her inside, through the office and back into her private quarters. She led him into the kitchen and reached for a couple of mugs as she motioned for him to take a seat at the table.
Chris waited for her to pour the coffee and sit down before he began to explain what he wanted.
"The Judge is coming here for Christmas, isn't he?" Chris sipped at the hot, steaming brew and stared pensively at Mary. Was she going to be able to see their side of this mess? She was a mother, after all... she might tend to side with Maude, especially since he didn't really want to get into the specifics of the treatment Ezra had received as a child. He knew if Ezra were himself he would resent everyone knowing about his past, so the fewer people that had to hear the details the better.
"Yes, he and Evie should be arriving on the stage in the morning. Why?" Mary frowned when Chris hesitated. She was beginning to get worried when he finally started to explain what was on his mind.
"This came in over the wire a little while ago." Chris handed her the telegram and watched while she read it, her frown turning to a look of confusion as she finished.
"Well, I can understand Maude wanting to take him home with her... she is his mother after all... but why is she bringing her lawyer along?" Mary saw Chris's face darken as she spoke and knew she was missing something important.
"Because she knows we aren't about to let her have him." Chris knew Mary was even more confused and tried to stop her before she could issue a protest on Maude's behalf. "You'll just have to trust me on this one, Mary... it wouldn't be in Ezra's best interest to let her take him away from here."
"But, Chris... she's his mother... who better to take care of him while he's in his present condition. And maybe she can get him the help he needs... help that Nathan's just not qualified to give him." Mary couldn't understand their reluctance to have everything done for Ezra that was medically possible. She knew they had to want what was best for him.
"You don't understand, and I can't explain it fully, not without revealing things about Ezra's past he wouldn't want you to know. It's bad enough the Judge will probably have to hear it all." Chris sighed in frustration. "All I can tell you is that Maude isn't the shining example of motherhood she likes to make everyone think she is. Talking to Ezra now has given us some idea of what his childhood was like... let's just say it's no wonder he has all the emotional problems he's saddled with now and leave it at that."
"But he's an adult now... not a small child that she can order around. Surely she would have to treat him decently and get him the help he needs." Mary just couldn't believe Maude was as bad as Chris was making out.
"He's an adult in size, but that's all. Mentally, he's still that little kid that believes his mother is always right. And after what Ezra's revealed, there's absolutely no reason to believe she'd take any better care of him now than she did before." Chris stared intently at Mary and tried one last time to reach her. "Maude couldn't handle a child when he was sick, she shuffled him from one abusive relative to another to avoid the responsibility for him... how will she be able to put up with a grown man in Ezra's condition? Ezra needs stability right now... and protection... both of which he's finding in the presence of Buck in his life. They've become so close in the last few days... I don't even want to think about what it would do to Ezra's shaky mental state if he were ripped away from him now."
Mary had some difficulty accepting this new image of Maude, but she knew Chris had no reason to lie. And Ezra, as a five year old, would hardly make up something bad about his own mother... if anything, he'd be more apt to minimize the bad things about her out of a child's unquestioning love. "Okay, Chris... I don't know how much influence I'll have with the Judge in this, but I'll do all I can to help." She offered more coffee and refilled their cups when Chris nodded. "So how is Ezra doing anyway? Have there been any signs of his memory returning?"
Chris shook his head as he leaned back in the chair, relieved that she'd finally agreed to help. "Not much... Buck said he had a small flash of memory involving his watch last night, but it only lasted a few minutes and just left him more confused than ever. Nathan doesn't think he's ready for it to happen yet, so we're trying to keep him away from anything that might push him into remembering for now."
"Is he really like a five year old?" Mary smiled at the image of the suave and articulate Southerner speaking and acting like a small child.
Chris laughed softly, and proceeded to tell Mary about some of the funnier moments they'd experienced with this younger version of the gambler.
Mary watched with interest as his face softened with every incident he described. She came to realize this may have been a tragic accident for Ezra, but from what she was seeing and hearing now, she had a feeling it was also becoming an incredible bonding experience for all of the seven men.
Buck shook his head in bewilderment as he watched JD leave. He just couldn't understand the boy's attitude toward Ezra now... he'd always been the first one to stick up for the gambler whenever he'd thought he was being unfairly treated by the others. Now it seemed he wanted nothing to do with him... acted as if he actually resented Ezra for being injured. Guilt over the accident maybe? Buck wasn't sure and just couldn't take the time to try and figure it out right now. Ezra's well-being was all that mattered to the older man at that moment, and he pushed JD's problems to the back of his mind as he walked quietly up behind the gambler.
Ezra stood with his head bowed and pressed against the door, one hand running slowly over the rough wood as he whispered softly to himself. "I'm sowwy, JD..."
"Ezra?" Buck turned Ezra around and gently placed two fingers under his chin, lifting the smaller man's face up to his. His breath caught as he got a look at the incredible sadness that glimmered in the emerald eyes staring up at him. "Aw, Ezra."
Buck pulled the trembling form of the Southerner into his arms and hugged him tightly, rocking slowly back and forth until he finally felt the slight shaking ease. Bending his head, he pressed his face against Ezra's and asked quietly, "Okay now?"
Ezra nodded, turning his face so that his forehead rested against Buck's whiskered cheek, his arms slipping around the older man and clinging tightly to his larger frame. "I'm sowwy, Buck... I didn't mean to—"
"Hush now, Little One... you didn't do anything to be sorry for." Buck rubbed his hand soothingly over the younger man's back.
"But JD... he sounded so mad." Ezra's voice quivered as he heard JD's angry words echo through his head again.
Buck heard the slight hitch in Ezra's voice and felt a slender hand clutch at the back of his shirt. "He's not mad at you, baby... he's just got a lot of things on his mind right now, and he's not thinkin' too clearly."
"You surwe?" Ezra's voice was hopeful as he sought reassurance from his friend. He'd noticed the word baby, but for some reason, it didn't seem so bad to hear Buck call him that now.
"I'm positive... now how 'bout we get you back in that bed before Nathan comes in here an' throws a hissy fit on us." Buck smiled when Ezra giggled, and led him back over to the bed, easing him carefully down onto the mattress. Once he had him settled comfortably against the pillows, Buck sat down beside him and took his hand. "There's something we need to talk about, little guy."
Ezra stared at him, waiting quietly for him to continue, his expression one of innocence and complete trust. Buck hesitated...
"Hi, Vin!" Ezra's expression brightened as the tracker came through the door, distracting him completely from Buck's news.
Vin approached the bed and shot an apologetic look at Buck. He'd heard the older man's words as he'd come through the door, and realized he'd interrupted him before he could tell Ezra about Maude.
"Hey there, little pard... how ya doin'?" Vin smiled down at Ezra and noticed he'd been crying. He assumed it had to do with JD's hasty departure, since he knew he hadn't heard about his mother coming yet.
"I'm okay... did you see JD out d'erwe? Is he aw'w'ight?" Ezra stared up at Vin expectantly, anxious for him to assure him that JD was fine and wanting to know for sure that JD really wasn't mad at him.
Vin sat down on the edge of the bed and rested his hand on the gambler's blanketed leg, rubbing gently to calm him. "Yeah, I saw JD... he went over t' the church with Josiah an' Nathan t' help with the Christmas decoratin'. He's okay, little guy." Vin turned his blue-eyed gaze on Buck. "I just thought I'd come an' see if I could spend some time with ya... maybe Buck could go over an' help the others at the church for a little while."
Buck knew what he wanted, but he wasn't sure his talking to JD right now would do any good. He wasn't at all sure that JD would even speak to him the way he was feeling now... but he guessed it wouldn't hurt to try. Maybe with Josiah and Nathan there to help, they could get to the bottom of what was really bothering the boy.
Ezra looked from Vin to Buck, and suddenly piped up in his soft southern drawl, "Yeah... and maybe you could talk to JD whiwle you'rwe d'erwe, Buck. I f'ink he needs to spend some time wif you, too."
Buck and Vin both stared at Ezra in amazement... even with his five-year old mind he was still able to read people with an incredible accuracy.
Ezra squeezed Buck's fingers and then pulled away, reaching over to take Vin's hand instead. "It's okay, Buck... Vin'll take carwe of me... won'tcha, Vin?"
"You bet, little guy." Vin smiled, wrapping his fingers around the gambler's. He looked over at Buck and nodded toward the door. "Go ahead, Buck... we'll be alright."
Buck hesitated for a moment, staring into Ezra's eyes, looking for any sign that he really didn't want him to go. Finally deciding that it was alright, Buck touched Ezra's cheek and stood up. "You be good for Vin, Little One, an' I'll try not to be gone too long, okay?"
"Okay, Buck..." Ezra hesitated, and then his face grew serious and he added softly, "Tewll JD I'm sowwy again... okay? Make surwe he's not mad at me."
Buck bent over and gave the younger man a quick hug before leaving. "I will, Ezra... an' don't worry... it's not you he's mad at." He turned and hurried out the door, surprised at how much it hurt to leave the Southerner even for a short time. His thoughts drifted back to Maude's impending arrival as he crossed the landing, and he knew for sure that no way in hell would he let her take Ezra away from him. Buck felt his heart break a little at even the thought of him leaving their family now.
JD sat on one of the wooden pews watching Josiah and Nathan decorate the huge tree that stood at the front of the church. They'd tried several times to get him to help, but he just shook his head and stayed where he was.
"I don't know why you're botherin' with all this... we're not even gonna be here." JD sulked childishly as he waited for an opportunity to slip out without one of them seeing him. He knew what they were doing, and wanted to make his getaway before Buck showed up... the last thing he wanted right now was to have to talk to the ladies man. He jumped as he heard the door behind him bang open and then hung his head... too late.
"Lookin' good there, fellas! Course, it'd look even better if you'd waited for my expert help... come on, JD... let's show 'em how it's done." Buck tugged on the young sheriff's sleeve as he walked by and stopped suddenly when he felt him pull his arm away. He stood and stared at JD, who refused to even look up, and then slid into the pew beside him.
"Okay... before Christmas is ruined completely, let's get what's botherin' ya out in the open. Talk, JD... I know you're mad at me... now tell me why." Buck heard a low groan issue from one of the two men standing near the tree, and looked up at Nathan and Josiah to see what was wrong. He found them both scowling at him and shaking their heads. "What?"
"Smooth, Buck... real smooth," Josiah muttered as he flapped his hand in disgust and turned back to decorating the tree.
Nathan merely gestured at JD, and mouthed 'talk to him' before turning away also. He couldn't believe how stubborn the two of them could be... they acted more and more like brothers all the time.
Buck sighed and turned back to JD, laying his hand gently on the smaller man's shoulder and giving him a little shake. "Come on, JD... talk to me. Whatever I've done, I'm sorry... honest."
JD felt his heart soften at the gentle and sincerely remorseful tone of Buck's voice. He looked up at Buck and saw the worry and concern that darkened his usually smiling face.
Buck smiled then and clapped JD roughly on the back. "Ya sure had me worried, boy. I thought ya were through with ol' Buck."
Nathan and Josiah exchanged relieved smiles... which turned out to be premature.
"Yup... that Ezra knows what he's talkin' 'bout even if he is only five at the moment." Buck laughed and shook his head, not noticing the looks on the other three men's faces.
JD's smile faded quickly away as he stared at Buck. "What do you mean? What's Ezra gotta do with this?"
Buck still didn't realize anything was wrong. He continued to think all their problems had been solved until he told JD what Ezra had said. "Well, Vin told me I should come over here an' help you fellas decorate the church, an' ol' Ezra spoke up an' said 'you should talk to JD while you'rwe d'erwe, Buck. I f'ink he needs to spend some time wif you, too.' I swear, Josiah... you should a seen how serious he—" Buck finally glanced up and saw the twin looks of dismay that now covered Nathan and Josiah's faces. He followed their gaze and turned to stare at JD, frowning when he saw the stricken look in the young boy's dark eyes. Now what the hell did I do?
"Ezra told you to come over here?" JD spoke softly, pausing as he struggled to believe what he had heard. "You mean to tell me that Ezra had to tell you to come and talk to me... to spend time with me?"
"Aw, come on, JD... don't let's start this all over again. I just didn't realize that you were jealous of—" but that was as far as Buck got.
"Jealous?! You think I'm jealous of you... and... and Ezra of all people? That's just plain stupid... I'm not jealous of anyone! I'm just damn sick and tired of you all fussing over 'im and putting all his feelin's before anyone else's. None of you cared how he felt before... that was me... just me. But now, just because he's got this little problem and spoutin' all this garbage about Maude... which probably isn't even true by the way... you make it your own personal crusade to right all the wrong that's been done to 'im. Well, go ahead... spend all your time with 'im... just don't be expectin' me t' be here waitin' for ya when he gets his memory back and pushes you away again!" JD bolted from the pew, shoving his way roughly past Buck in his effort to get out.
Buck jumped up and grabbed at JD's coat as he struggled to leave the church. "JD... what the hell is the matter with you, boy?! I'm sorry if I've been ignorin' ya... but he needs me right now. Can't ya see that?"
JD jerked away from Buck and backed toward the doors. "Yeah, I can see it, Buck... how could I miss it? You'd rather spend all your time with him than me... it's perfectly clear. Don't worry though... I won't be botherin' ya anymore." With that, he turned and hurried out of the church before any of the three men could recover from his tirade and stop him.
The church was bathed in silence for a few moments before Josiah finally heaved a huge sigh and turned to Buck. "Well, you certainly handled that well, Buck. Maybe you better go back and see if Lit'l Ezra can teach you some of that tact and diplomacy he's so famous for. God knows you could use it."
Buck started to stammer out a response, but finally quit when he realized Josiah was right. He'd blown it... and blown it good. He'd had no idea JD was actually jealous of his new relationship with Ezra... he thought the boy would surely understand how much the gambler needed the security of having one person to cling to right now. But he'd been wrong... JD didn't understand... and now he'd probably never get the chance to explain it to him. Lord knows, he'd probably never talk to him again after today.
"I'm sorry..." Buck stared at the other two men, shaking his head sadly. "I didn't realize..." His words ground to a halt as it occurred to him that he should have realized it... he should have seen how much he was hurting JD. Turning away from Josiah and Nathan's accusing stares, Buck made his way up the aisle and out of the church... pausing on the steps to look around. He knew JD would be long gone, but he'd held just a whisper of hope that he'd still be there waiting for him... waiting to make up like they always did. His heart was heavy with guilt as he slowly retraced his steps to the clinic... back to the clinic to face Ezra. He'd just hurt JD, and now he had to do the same to Ezra with the news that Maude was coming to try and take him home. God... could this day get any worse?
Josiah and Nathan stared at the door Buck had disappeared through and then at each other.
Nathan chuckled and shook his head. "And we thought all we had to worry about ruinin' Christmas was Ezra and Chris and their lousy attitudes... who would've expected this one?"
"Not me... that's for sure. I don't know which of those two has the harder head. Buck is totally oblivious to why JD would be jealous, and JD can't see that he's jealous of both Buck and Ezra. Maybe if we locked the two of them in a room together, they could get this whole mess worked out. It at least would keep the rest of us out of the line of fire." Josiah sat heavily on one of the wooden benches and stared at the tree. He'd suddenly lost his enthusiasm for decorating and for the holiday itself.
Nathan looked down at him, frowning as he tried to puzzle out something Josiah'd said. "What do ya mean JD's jealous of Ezra? 'Cause he's takin' up all of Buck's time?"
Josiah shook his head. "Nope. Remember what he said when he was... um... discussing... his feelings with Buck? That no one cared how Ezra felt before the accident, just him? I think he's jealous because Ezra turned to Buck when he woke up instead of him. The two people he felt closest to have, at least for the moment, pretty much shut him out of their lives. It's no wonder he's hurt and confused."
"Damn... I never thought of it that way, but I 'spect you're right. Now how the heck do we get them t' see it?" Nathan flopped wearily down beside the preacher and thought about how complicated his life had gotten since he'd joined up with these other men. He wouldn't trade what he had now for the world, but it sure wasn't easy balancing seven totally different personalities. Interesting... but definitely not easy.
Ezra waited til he heard Buck's footsteps fading away before gently pulling his hand out of Vin's grasp and staring shyly up at him. He knew he didn't need to be afraid of the long-haired man sitting beside him... knew he was one of his new friends and would never do anything to hurt him... but it was the first time he'd been alone with anyone except Buck. And that scared him a little. Ezra suddenly found himself wishing with all his heart that Buck would come back... and soon.
Vin could see he was nervous, but wasn't sure what to say or do to put him more at ease. For that matter, he was a bit uneasy about the situation himself... he didn't have Buck and Ezra's way with children, and really didn't know what to say to the suddenly timid gambler.
"So... are you startin' to get excited 'bout Christmas yet?" Vin watched as Ezra silently shook his head and scooted a little further down in the bed. Good goin', Tanner... ya already knew how he felt about Christmas... why don't ya ask 'im another smart question.
"Um... so how'd you like gettin' your first shave? Was it scary?" Vin shook his head, disgusted with himself as he saw Ezra nod slightly and clutch at the blanket, pulling it up under his chin as his thumb slipped comfortingly into his mouth. Another good one, Tanner... keep remindin' 'im of scary an' unhappy things... why not just scream 'boo' at 'im an' get it over with. Obviously you're tryin' to make the poor little guy cry.
Vin turned away from Ezra as he huddled in the middle of the bed, sensing that even just his looking at the Southerner was upsetting to him at the moment. Sighing in exasperation, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his mouth organ. He didn't really know how to play any tunes on the small instrument, just musical sounds... but Vin found the lilting notes soothing when he was tense or upset... maybe they'd work on Ezra, too.
Holding the harmonica to his lips, Vin began breathing in and out, producing a series of soft melodic sounds. He almost missed it, but it happened as he was in the process of taking a breath... a quiet little 'oh' of wonder drifted up to his ears from the slender form curled up amongst the blankets. Peeking out of the corner of one bright blue eye, Vin saw Ezra staring up at him... his head cocked slightly to catch the delicate notes that issued forth from the shiny piece of metal the tracker held to his mouth.
Trying to hold back a smile of amusement, Vin turned his body slightly so that he was angled away from Ezra. He sensed movement on the bed beside him and knew the smaller man was moving closer, trying to see how the sounds were being made. Vin ignored Ezra as he continued to play the strange music, until finally, he felt the gambler's head pressed up against his arm and heard his name spoken in a quiet southern drawl.
"Vin?" Ezra repeated the tracker's name and shifted around in the bed, leaning on the younger man's buckskin clad leg as he looked up into his face. "What is d'at, Vin?"
Turning back around to face Ezra, Vin blew a few more notes before pulling the musical instrument away from his lips and showing it to the wide-eyed gambler. "This? It's a mouth organ, little pard. Ain't ya ever seen one before?"
Ezra shook his head as he reached out and ran his fingers across the smooth metal object that Vin held out to him. "Nuh-uh... I neverw seen nuffin' w'ike d'at. How do you make d'ose sounds? Is it harwd?"
"Naw... it's easy... want t' try it?" Ezra nodded eagerly and Vin held the instrument against his mouth, instructing him to blow into it. The Southerner blew out a puff of air and jumped when a rather loud noise burst forth... his sparkling green eyes growing big as saucers.
"Did I do d'at?" Ezra's voice was soft, and reflected his amazement that he'd actually made it work.
"Yup. Let me show ya how t' make different sounds with it." Vin moved around behind Ezra and put his arms around him, his hand closing around the gambler's as he showed him how to move the mouth organ back and forth across his lips.
Ezra blew softly as instructed and after a few notes, stopped and turned to smile at Vin, the joy of his new found talent dancing in his eyes. "I did it, Vin! I made music jus' w'ike you!"
Vin gave the smaller man a crooked grin and laughed softly. "Well, you're the first one t' ever call the noise I make with this thing music, but ya did real good gettin' the sounds right, pard."
Ezra stared at him solemnly. "But it is music, Vin. I watched yourw face... d'ose arwe sounds frwom yourw hearwt... and dat's d' best kind of music."
The quiet tracker stared down at the younger man in amazement... no one had ever understood what those sounds meant to him before. And here was Ezra, with his fragile little five year old mind, taking one look at his face while he played and knowing instantly what he was feeling.
"Can you show me morwe, Vin?" Ezra asked the sharpshooter, totally oblivious to the importance of his last statement. As far as the young gambler was concerned, it was just something he thought everyone must realize when they heard Vin play.
"Sure thing, little guy... here... hold your fingers like this." Vin moved Ezra's slender fingers to cover different holes on the small instrument, and smiled as he felt him quiver with excitement as a new set of notes floated through the air.
Ezra finally forgot his earlier trepidation at being alone with Vin, and leaned comfortably back against him as they played. Vin started slightly when he felt the other man's body pressed against his, but one look down at Ezra's innocent, boyish face and he relaxed... taking an unexpected joy in the man's childlike excitement.
"You got the hang of that real quick there, pard." Vin smiled down at him and felt his heart clench as Ezra twisted around in his arms to pull him into a hug.
"F'ank you, Vin... you guys arwe all so nice to me... I don't everw want to w'eave herwe," Ezra whispered, his voice hitching slightly as he fought the urge to cry.
Vin stiffened at first, not sure how to react to such an overt show of emotion from the usually aloof gambler... but Ezra's words touched his heart. Vin's awkward pats on the back stopped, and he returned his friend's hug with a tenderness he hadn't even known he was capable of. The younger man found himself wondering how in the world they would be able to go back to the way things were, if Ezra returned to his old self with all the same barriers still intact. After seeing this side of him, it would be impossible to treat him with the distance he'd always preferred.
"Don't worry, little pard... you can stay here with us as long as ya like." Vin could tell that poor Buck was in for a tough time when he finally told Ezra that Maude was coming. The gambler would probably immediately assume that they were going to let her take him away and be scared to death. God, he hated Maude for putting the little guy through all that... and all just to exercise her power over him, not with any thought for what was best for him. Vin gave Ezra a little squeeze and sat him back up. "How 'bout we practice some more with this thing, an' then ya can show Buck what ya learned when he gets back?"
Ezra nodded eagerly and turned back around, leaning against Vin once more as they went back to his impromptu music lessons. Soon the clinic was filled with the soft, soothing sounds of the mouth organ intermingled with the two distinct southern drawls of the two men nestled on the bed together.