Second Childhood

By Jean Williams

Part One

Chris strode angrily into the crowded saloon and looked around for the person responsible for getting his day off to such a bad start. He spotted five of his men seated at a table near the bar enjoying their breakfast, but the one he was after was nowhere in sight.

"Where is he?" Chris growled as he stalked over to their table and threw himself into the only empty chair.

The others immediately stopped eating and stared at him, puzzled by his obvious anger.

"Are we to assume your apparent displeasure is directed at Brother Standish since the rest of us are here in front of you?" Josiah inquired, smiling slightly at the exasperated look he received from the black-clad gunslinger.

Chris glared at him a moment before replying. "You know... you're starting to sound just like our dear Brother Standish as you put it. And hell yeah he's the one I'm wantin'! He was supposed to be out on patrol an hour ago and his horse is still in the stable! I take it he hasn't even been down yet?"

"Haven't seen hide nor hair of 'im... he's probably still sound asleep. He was still playin' cards with some of those ranch hands that were in here last night when I left. God only knows what time he finally crawled off to bed." Buck picked up the biscuit that was left on his plate and began tearing off pieces and tossing them across the table at JD.

"Buck! Will you quit doin' that?! You never let me finish a whole meal... and I'm a growin' boy... I need all I can get!" JD scooped up a forkful of eggs, flung it at Buck, and moved quickly away from the table before the ladies man could get back at him.

Chris scowled at their antics, pointed a finger at both of them, and then motioned toward the stairs leading to the rooms up over the saloon. "Fine... since you two've got so much energy, why don't you go and drag Ezra's sorry ass out of bed. Tell him I want him down here in ten minutes, or he'll be riding patrol every day for the next damn month!"

Buck and JD froze in place and stared incredulously at their leader. "You're kiddin', right? You know how dangerous it is to wake him up... last time he almost got Josiah with that damn pop gun of his!"

"Well, then I guess you better do it real careful like, huh?" Chris just grinned slightly and pointed again in the direction of Ezra's room.

JD opened his mouth to argue further, but Buck just grabbed his arm and began dragging him toward the stairs. "Forget it, boy... I know that look and there just ain't no arguin' with it."

The youngster glanced at Chris once more, realized Buck was right, and allowed himself to be pulled along behind him. "Okay, Buck... but you're goin' in first. I'm too young to die."

The older man gave him a shove up the stairs and shook his head. "No way, Kid... you make a smaller target... you're goin' in and distractin' 'im while I see if I can't get my hands on that gun before he can shoot you."

The others laughed as they watched their two friends wrestle and argue their way up to the gambler's room.

"Maybe I oughta go grab my medical bag... I've gotta feelin' one a them is gonna need my services before they get Ezra outta that bed." Nathan laughed as he finished his coffee and headed back over to the clinic. He had several patients he needed to look in on anyway and wanted to get out of range before the Southerner came down those stairs and met with Chris's anger. It was never a pretty sight when those two butted heads, and he'd just as soon not have to witness it this early in the morning.

Stepping out onto the boardwalk, Nathan marveled at how warm it still was even though it was almost Christmas. He glanced back at the saloon and shook his head as he thought about how tense the next several days would be between Ezra and Chris. Neither of them liked the holiday and the nearer it drew, the touchier they seemed to get.

Chris didn't hate the season, he just preferred to forget it ever since Sarah and Adam had died. It no longer held any joy for him, and he simply left the celebrating to the others. And Ezra... well, from what they'd been able to discern from the little he'd let slip, his childhood had not been an especially happy one and Christmas apparently held no fond memories for him. You'd think their mutual dislike for the holiday would draw them together, but instead they seemed to get a perverse pleasure out of antagonizing one another.

Nathan sighed and moved off the boardwalk and down into the dusty street. Better check my stock of supplies... one or both of them's bound t' end up in the clinic 'fore Christmas gets here.


Ezra frowned as he stared at himself in the mirror. The dark circles under his eyes were an unpleasant reminder of the nightmare that had awoken him several times during the night. In fact, he was still suffering from the effects of it... his heart was still beating a bit faster than normal, and his hands were shaking so badly he had nicked himself twice while shaving. Something that absolutely never happened.

It was a recurring dream that seemed to strike whenever he was stressed or over-tired, and try as he might, he could never remember any more than tiny fragments of it. He knew it had something to do with the horrible occurrences while he'd been in the custody of his uncle Matthew... someone he had spent his entire adult life trying to forget... but other than that, there were only vague images and sounds left when he awoke. Nothing solid enough to let him know the exact nature of the dream.

Ezra was just glad that the boisterous revelry from Buck and JD in the saloon below had awakened him when it did. He had an uneasy feeling that if allowed to continue, the nightmare would have gotten worse... much worse. Especially considering the abuse he'd endured at the hands of his uncle. He knew the feelings of anxiety and fear that always accompanied the dream would stay with him for days before finally dissipating, and there was nothing he could do but try to ignore them. Sighing resignedly, he forced his thoughts away from it and went back to his shaving.


Buck and JD listened at Ezra's door, and were relieved to hear him moving around. "Hey, Ezra... ya decent?"

"Go away, Mr. Wilmington." Ignoring Ezra's irritated reply, they swung the door open and walked in.

"You're up." Buck commented as he watched the gambler finish wiping the lather off his face.

Ezra stared at him for a moment before buttoning his shirt and pulling on his waistcoat. "Very observant of you, Mr. Wilmington. And of course I'm up... how could one possibly sleep through that ungodly racket you and our young friend here were making?"

"Well, you just better be glad we woke you cause Chris wants you downstairs in ten minutes or you're ridin' patrol for the next month. Did you forget you were supposed to go out this mornin'?" JD grinned and nudged Buck when he saw it dawn on Ezra just how much trouble he was in.

"Good lord..." he mumbled as he quickly strapped on his guns and grabbed his coat and hat off the back of the chair. He'd completely forgotten it was his turn for patrol.

Brushing past Buck and JD, he hurried out of the room and headed for the stairs, struggling to shove his arms into his coat sleeves as he went.

"Hey, wait up, Ezra!" JD yelled as he and Buck hurried after the gambler. "I want to see you try 'n talk your way outta this one!"

Chris heard JD's yell and looked up just as the trio came rushing around the corner and headed down the stairs. He started to shoot a glare at the Southerner, when suddenly, with a sickening sense of slow motion, he saw Buck start off a terrifying chain of events... and realized he was powerless to stop it.


Buck grabbed at JD's arm and tried to pull him away from the gambler, trying to warn him against getting in the way of the blowup he knew was coming between Ezra and Chris.

"Let go, Buck!" the boy exclaimed as he jerked his arm out of the older man's reach.

Buck saw what was about to happen and desperately tried to recapture JD's arm, but the younger man's momentum had already pushed him back out of the gunslinger's grasping hands and straight into Ezra. The gambler was just moving his foot down to the next step while still struggling with his jacket, when JD slammed into him, knocking him off balance. JD tried to turn and grab for Ezra as he felt the other man fall away from him, and nearly had him... but his hands were just a second too late.

"Ezra!!" Buck and Chris shouted out the gambler's name at the same time, drawing every eye in the saloon to the heart-stopping sight of Ezra tumbling backward over the railing. His arms were still tangled in the twisted coat sleeves and he could do nothing to break his fall. They all watched in frozen horror as he slammed into a table which tilted brokenly, throwing him to the floor in a boneless heap.

Chris, Vin and Josiah hurried to his side. Kneeling by his head, Chris pressed two shaky fingers against the gambler's neck... holding his breath as he searched desperately for a pulse. "Come on, Ezra... damn it, don't you do this to us." Finally, after what seemed like forever, he found it... it was weak, but at least it was there. Vin and Josiah saw him nod and breathed a sigh of relief as they moved to place gentle hands along their friend's body, holding him still in case he woke suddenly and began stirring around. They knew Nathan needed to check him over before he could be allowed to move... they just prayed his back wasn't injured in the fall.

Chris glanced up and saw JD and Buck still standing on the stairs, the shock of what had just happened showing clearly on their faces. "JD! Go find Nathan!" He saw the boy hesitate and sharpened the tone of his voice. "Now, JD!! Move it!!"

Seeing him finally move down the stairs and race out the door, Chris turned his eyes to his oldest friend and nodded once at the crowd that had gathered around them. "Clear everyone outta here, Buck." He saw the fear shining brightly in his eyes and hurried to reassure him. "He's alive, Buck... did you hear me? I said he's alive." When the gunman finally shook himself and began moving down the stairs, Chris turned his attention back to the crumpled body lying motionless beneath his hands.

Three sets of eyes anxiously searched Ezra for signs of how badly he was injured. He had landed on his left side, one arm pinned beneath his body, his legs sprawled out awkwardly behind him. Chris eased his hands gently around the younger man's head and grimaced as his fingers came away red with blood. He wadded up a corner of the tablecloth that Ezra was lying on and pressed it tightly against the wound, trying to stop the flow of blood, his eyes never leaving the gambler's pale face.

After finally getting the last person shoved out of the saloon, Buck hurried over to the others and stared worriedly down at Ezra. "How's he doin', Chris?"

Chris heard the guilt in the other man's voice and glanced up at him. Buck's eyes were riveted on Ezra, and Chris could see him struggling to control his emotions. "It was an accident, Buck... that's all." He tried to reassure the gunman, but could see his words fell on deaf ears. He felt a tremor run through Ezra and tightened his hold on him, glancing quickly down at his face in the hopes that he was coming to. He knew the longer the Southerner was unconscious, the greater the odds were that he'd sustained a serious head injury. "Ezra? Can you hear me? Come on now, open your eyes for me." Nothing. Not even a flicker of his eyelids. "Damn it... where the hell is Nathan?!"

Just at that moment, Nathan and JD came slamming through the door into the saloon. The healer's heart raced as he saw Ezra lying motionless amidst the rubble of the table. "Let me in there, Buck." Buck reluctantly moved away from the gambler and stood watching anxiously as Nathan took his pulse, and then ran his experienced hands slowly down Ezra's back. "He been out the whole time?"

Chris kept his eyes fastened on Nathan's face as he examined the injured man, watching for any sign of trouble. "Yeah... he trembled once or twice, but that's about it."

Nathan frowned and felt carefully around Ezra's neck. "This how he landed?"

Chris nodded. "We haven't moved him... his back?"

"Hard t' tell. I don't feel nothin' broke, but we'll have t' wait til he comes to 'fore we'll know for sure. Helps that he landed partly on his side... might have some bruised or broken ribs, but at least it protected his spine some." Nathan had Chris move his hands so he could check the gash in the back of Ezra's head, grimacing when he saw how deep it was. "Looks like his head hit the edge of the table when he landed... it's pretty nasty. Could be a fracture, but I can't tell for sure." He motioned for Chris to resume the pressure on the cut while he looked at Ezra's eyes... his frown deepened and he shook his head.

"Nathan? How bad?" Chris hated that look... he'd seen it way too many times lately with regards to the Southerner. Ezra seemed to have an uncanny knack for getting injured, and it was always bad enough to put that look on the healer's face. Leave it to Ezra not to do anything half-way... even getting hurt.

"Well, he's definitely got a concussion... looks like a bad one." Nathan slid his hands down to Ezra's arms, carefully easing his right arm out of his coat, removing the sleeve rig he wore and checking for breaks. It seemed fine, but when he slipped his hand under Ezra to examine the left one, he could immediately feel the break in his forearm just above the wrist. The healer looked at Vin and Josiah and told them to lift up on him slowly, just enough for him to slide Ezra's arm out rom under him. "Chris, keep his head as steady as ya can. Buck... get down here an' help me untangle his arm from this sleeve as we bring it out. Okay, y'all ready? Easy now... and try an' keep his back straight."

JD watched as they did exactly as Nathan said, smoothly maneuvering Ezra up and off the arm. He felt so damned helpless just standing there. Suddenly it dawned on him what he could be doing, and he quietly turned and slipped out of the saloon

Chris eased up the pressure he was applying to the cut on the back of Ezra's head and leaned over to check it. "Bleeding's stopped, Nathan."

Nathan pulled a pad of cloth and some bandages out of his medical kit and passed them to Chris. "Wrap it up for now, an' I'll clean it out an' stitch it when we get 'im t' the clinic."

"You don't think we oughta just take him up to his room? It's closer," Buck asked as he held Ezra's arm still for the healer.

"He's hurt too bad... I'll be able t' take better care of 'im over there." Nathan had Chris help him remove Ezra's other two guns and their holsters, and then ran his hands gently down the gambler's sides. He was pleasantly surprised to find his ribs only bruised, not broken or cracked, and figured his arm must have taken the brunt of the impact and protected them somewhat. Carefully he eased Ezra's arm over and placed it against his chest, and while Buck held it firmly in place, strapped it down tight until he could get it splinted. Nathan kept watching Ezra's face for some reaction to the pain he knew he should be feeling, and became more and more worried when there was none.

The healer hurriedly finished checking him over, running his hands lightly down his hips and legs and thankfully finding nothing broken. He wanted to get him to the clinic and do a more thorough examination... he just prayed there wasn't anything he'd missed.

"Okay... we gotta keep 'im as level as possible carryin' 'im over there. An' we're goin' real slow... I don't want 'im bounced around none." Nathan looked around and frowned. "Where the heck did JD get off to? I was gonna have 'im bring my medical bag."

"Probably couldn't stand to watch anymore. Don't worry... one of us'll come back over and get it... let's just get him to the clinic," Chris said as he stared down at Ezra. Why the hell had he sent Buck and JD up to get him? If he'd just gone himself, or better yet, let him come down when he was ready, this never would have happened.

Nathan showed everyone where to hold him, and they soon had Ezra cradled between them and began slowly moving out of the saloon and across the street.


As soon as their feet touched the landing outside the clinic, the door swung open and JD stood there ready to help. Moving carefully inside, they found out why he'd disappeared so suddenly. The bed was turned down and waiting for Ezra, a pot of boiling water stood ready on the stove, and everything JD could think of that Nathan might need had been placed on the table next to the bed.

Nathan glanced around the room as they carried Ezra over to the bed, settling him carefully on his right side, and then nodded approvingly at the young man. "Good job, JD... looks like ya thought of everything."

JD's worried expression eased a bit at the compliment. "I had to find something to do to help... after all, it's my fault he's lying here like this."

"It's nobody's fault, JD... it was just an accident, so quit blaming yourself." Chris meant what he said, but he knew the boy and Buck would still feel guilty about what had happened.

Chris and Josiah helped Nathan remove Ezra's clothes while the others stood back against the wall watching. Every man in the room winced when the Southerner's body was revealed and they saw the deep purple bruises that already covered his entire left side and half of his back.

Nathan went over every inch of the smaller man and was glad to find that his initial examination had been right... except for the extensive bruising, the only other injuries he had were the broken arm and the head wound. Not that they weren't bad enough... Ezra was definitely going to be sore when he woke up, and he was going to have one hell of a headache. The healer had also been relieved to see the gambler move his legs slightly as he'd probed the bruises on his ribs... it meant he most likely didn't have a spinal injury, and he was finally reacting to the pain. Hopefully he'd be waking up soon.

Pulling a chair up to the side of the bed, Nathan sat down and prepared to stitch up the gash in the back of Ezra's head. "Y'all want t' get a hold on him case he tries t' move around? This ain't gonna feel too good, and I don't want 'im jerkin' away from me if he comes to."

But absolutely nothing Nathan did to the gambler got another response. Not the jostling involved with wrapping his bruised ribs... not even having his broken arm set and splinted. Other than that slight shifting of his legs during the healer's examination, Ezra had remained silent and unmoving.

Nathan looked up at the others when he finished with Ezra, and they could all see the worry in his gentle brown eyes. "I done all I can for 'im, now we wait."

"He's gonna be okay though... right, Nathan?" JD tore his gaze from Ezra's pale face to look imploringly at the healer... willing him to reassure him that everything would be fine.

"Nathan?" Buck added his guilt-ridden voice to JD's when he didn't answer right away. His eyes searched Nathan's face for some sign of hope.

Nathan just shrugged and turned back to Ezra. He had no answers for them. The blow to the head had been severe, and there was no way of telling how much damage had been done until the gambler woke up. For now, all any of them could do was wait and pray.

Chris walked up beside the bed and placed his hand on Nathan's shoulder. "We know you're doin' everything you can, Nathan. We'll set up the usual shifts to watch over him... you -"

"Y'can forget the shifts, Chris... I ain't leavin' 'im." Buck pulled a chair up beside the bed, and ignoring everyone else in the room, turned his full attention to Ezra. The others watched as he tucked the blanket around the smaller man, careful not to jar his injured arm which was cradled on a pillow in front of him. He then leaned on the edge of the bed, one hand wrapped around the gambler's while his other smoothed the hair back off his pale brow. "Don't you give up on us, Ezra... ya gotta fight this. Tell ya what, pard... you open those green eyes of yours for me, and I'll take that month of patrol Chris was gonna make ya ride. How's that sound? JD and me'll even quit pesterin' ya about joinin' us for the Christmas celebration."

Chris opened his mouth to argue with Buck, but Josiah stopped him. "Leave him, Chris. He needs to do this, and who knows... it might be the one thing to drag Ezra back. If nothing else, he'll probably at least wake up long enough to tell Buck to shut up."

Buck and JD had become especially close to Ezra over the last few months. And to the surprise of the others , the two men had slowly begun to pull the gambler out from behind the walls he kept carefully erected around himself. They all knew that both of them were probably feeling a tremendous amount of guilt over what had happened, even though it had just been a tragic accident and no one's fault.

Chris stared at Buck and then at the preacher, and smiled. "You could be right... nothing Ezra hates more than havin' to listen to Buck ramble on." Chris squeezed Nathan's shoulder reassuringly before letting go. "You need anything before we leave, Nathan?"

Nathan thought a minute before answering. "Someone could fetch one of Ezra's nightshirts from his room... he'll want somethin' t' put on once he wakes up."

"JD... you want to take care of that? And grab some dinner for Nathan and Buck on your way through the saloon." Chris saw the boy's reluctance to leave, but he knew it would be best to keep him busy... take his mind off the guilt he was feeling. Having Buck there to deal with was enough of a trial for poor Nathan without adding JD to it, too.

"And... Chris?" Nathan stared regretfully at the gunslinger. "Maybe you'd better wire Maude."

Chris paled slightly at Nathan's inference and let his eyes rest on the gambler before turning to go. He didn't want to leave him anymore than the rest of them did, but there was nothing they could do for him now, and they still had a town to watch over. "We'll be back tonight to relieve you, Nathan... take care of him... and I'll send that telegram."

Nathan watched as the others filed slowly out, and then looked over at Buck who was still talking softly to Ezra, saying anything that popped into his head that might get a reaction out of him. The healer placed his fingers on the gambler's neck and was relieved to find his pulse a little stronger. Now if he'd just wake up.


As soon as their feet touched the landing outside the clinic, the door swung open and JD stood there ready to help. Moving carefully inside, they found out why he'd disappeared so suddenly. The bed was turned down and waiting for Ezra, a pot of boiling water stood ready on the stove, and everything JD could think of that Nathan might need had been placed on the table next to the bed.

Nathan glanced around the room as they carried Ezra over to the bed, settling him carefully on his right side, and then nodded approvingly at the young man. "Good job, JD... looks like ya thought of everything."

JD's worried expression eased a bit at the compliment. "I had to find something to do to help... after all, it's my fault he's lying here like this."

"It's nobody's fault, JD... it was just an accident, so quit blaming yourself." Chris meant what he said, but he knew the boy and Buck would still feel guilty about what had happened.

Chris and Josiah helped Nathan remove Ezra's clothes while the others stood back against the wall watching. Every man in the room winced when the Southerner's body was revealed and they saw the deep purple bruises that already covered his entire left side and half of his back.

Nathan went over every inch of the smaller man and was glad to find that his initial examination had been right... except for the extensive bruising, the only other injuries he had were the broken arm and the head wound. Not that they weren't bad enough... Ezra was definitely going to be sore when he woke up, and he was going to have one hell of a headache. The healer had also been relieved to see the gambler move his legs slightly as he'd probed the bruises on his ribs... it meant he most likely didn't have a spinal injury, and he was finally reacting to the pain. Hopefully he'd be waking up soon.

Pulling a chair up to the side of the bed, Nathan sat down and prepared to stitch up the gash in the back of Ezra's head. "Y'all want t' get a hold on him case he tries t' move around? This ain't gonna feel too good, and I don't want 'im jerkin' away from me if he comes to."

But absolutely nothing Nathan did to the gambler got another response. Not the jostling involved with wrapping his bruised ribs... not even having his broken arm set and splinted. Other than that slight shifting of his legs during the healer's examination, Ezra had remained silent and unmoving.

Nathan looked up at the others when he finished with Ezra, and they could all see the worry in his gentle brown eyes. "I done all I can for 'im, now we wait."

"He's gonna be okay though... right, Nathan?" JD tore his gaze from Ezra's pale face to look imploringly at the healer... willing him to reassure him that everything would be fine.

"Nathan?" Buck added his guilt-ridden voice to JD's when he didn't answer right away. His eyes searched Nathan's face for some sign of hope.

Nathan just shrugged and turned back to Ezra. He had no answers for them. The blow to the head had been severe, and there was no way of telling how much damage had been done until the gambler woke up. For now, all any of them could do was wait and pray.

Chris walked up beside the bed and placed his hand on Nathan's shoulder. "We know you're doin' everything you can, Nathan. We'll set up the usual shifts to watch over him... you -"

"Y'can forget the shifts, Chris... I ain't leavin' 'im." Buck pulled a chair up beside the bed, and ignoring everyone else in the room, turned his full attention to Ezra. The others watched as he tucked the blanket around the smaller man, careful not to jar his injured arm which was cradled on a pillow in front of him. He then leaned on the edge of the bed, one hand wrapped around the gambler's while his other smoothed the hair back off his pale brow. "Don't you give up on us, Ezra... ya gotta fight this. Tell ya what, pard... you open those green eyes of yours for me, and I'll take that month of patrol Chris was gonna make ya ride. How's that sound? JD and me'll even quit pesterin' ya about joinin' us for the Christmas celebration."

Chris opened his mouth to argue with Buck, but Josiah stopped him. "Leave him, Chris. He needs to do this, and who knows... it might be the one thing to drag Ezra back. If nothing else, he'll probably at least wake up long enough to tell Buck to shut up."

Buck and JD had become especially close to Ezra over the last few months. And to the surprise of the others , the two men had slowly begun to pull the gambler out from behind the walls he kept carefully erected around himself. They all knew that both of them were probably feeling a tremendous amount of guilt over what had happened, even though it had just been a tragic accident and no one's fault.

Chris stared at Buck and then at the preacher, and smiled. "You could be right... nothing Ezra hates more than havin' to listen to Buck ramble on." Chris squeezed Nathan's shoulder reassuringly before letting go. "You need anything before we leave, Nathan?"

Nathan thought a minute before answering. "Someone could fetch one of Ezra's nightshirts from his room... he'll want somethin' t' put on once he wakes up."

"JD... you want to take care of that? And grab some dinner for Nathan and Buck on your way through the saloon." Chris saw the boy's reluctance to leave, but he knew it would be best to keep him busy... take his mind off the guilt he was feeling. Having Buck there to deal with was enough of a trial for poor Nathan without adding JD to it, too.

"And... Chris?" Nathan stared regretfully at the gunslinger. "Maybe you'd better wire Maude."

Chris paled slightly at Nathan's inference and let his eyes rest on the gambler before turning to go. He didn't want to leave him anymore than the rest of them did, but there was nothing they could do for him now, and they still had a town to watch over. "We'll be back tonight to relieve you, Nathan... take care of him... and I'll send that telegram."

Nathan watched as the others filed slowly out, and then looked over at Buck who was still talking softly to Ezra, saying anything that popped into his head that might get a reaction out of him. The healer placed his fingers on the gambler's neck and was relieved to find his pulse a little stronger. Now if he'd just wake up.


It was the next night before Ezra finally began to show signs of coming to. Everyone was there and had been for most of the evening. It was late and they were all tired, but no one wanted to leave... they just sat there, taking turns holding his hand and talking to him... hoping he would know they were there with him, and at least be comforted by it.

Buck closed his eyes for a minute... a lack of sleep was starting to take its toll on him. When he opened them again and looked at Ezra, he was amazed to see him looking back at him. "Ezra? You with us, pard?"

The others were out on the landing, talking and getting a breath of fresh air, and didn't hear Buck's whispered question. Nathan glanced through the open door and saw Buck urgently motion for him to come inside.

"What is it?" Nathan hurried around the end of the bed, hoping to see some change in his patient.

"He was looking at me, Nathan... didn't say anything, just stared at me for a minute an' then closed his eyes again." Buck kept his gaze riveted on Ezra's face... waiting... hell, praying... for him to finally wake up.

Nathan patted the gambler's face gently, trying to rouse him. "Ezra... come on now, open your eyes. Ezra?"

The rest of the men heard Nathan trying to wake him and hurried back in to hover around the bed. They were all watching as Ezra's lids fluttered and slowly opened. He stared at the men around him as they all started talking to him, welcoming him back. They were all so excited and relieved that he'd finally woken up, that no one noticed what was happening to him. No one except Buck.

Buck felt Ezra's hand tense in his and tightened his grip on it, and then took a closer look at him. That's when he saw it... the fear. "Ezra... what's wrong?" He leaned in closer and saw the faint trembling that rippled through the younger man, and the tears that were beginning to fill his eyes as he stared from one man standing over him to another. "Ezra... look at me, pard. It's Buck... do ya recognize me?"

The others finally saw the gambler just staring up at them and stopped talking. Their eyes widened in shock as Ezra's face scrunched up, tears streamed down his cheeks, and soft sobs shook his slender form.

They started forward, but Buck waved sharply at them to stay back. Ezra had a death-grip on his hand and Buck tugged on it, drawing the gambler's attention back to him. "Ezra... tell me what's wrong... please?"

Ezra stared at him, his voice hitching as he tried to talk. "Who... who arwe you? Wherwe's my mama? I want my mama!"

Buck stared in amazement as Ezra painfully sat up and curled himself around his broken arm... his good hand tearing away from Buck's to fist fretfully at his eyes, all the while crying out in a child's lisping voice for his mama.

"Shit... Nathan, what the hell's going on?" Chris whispered as they all watched Ezra sobbing pitifully on the bed.

Nathan shook his head, his face creased with worry as he moved carefully around the bed behind Ezra. "I don't know for sure, but stay back... he's terrified. Let Buck handle things for now."

Buck's heart broke at the sight of the gambler looking so lost and scared. "Shh now... it's all right, pard. No one here's gonna hurt ya... we just want to help ya." He reached his hand out slowly and placed it on Ezra's arm, tugging gently until he got his hand down away from his face. He winced at the pain and fear he saw in the liquid green eyes that stared back at him. "Ezra? Can ya talk to me? Tell me what's wrong?"

Ezra stared back at the ladies man, his lower lip quivering and his breath coming in soft gasps as he tried to talk, his southern accent stronger than they'd ever heard it. "H-how do you know my n-name?"

Buck inched his hand down Ezra's arm until he had it wrapped around the younger man's fingers again. He squeezed gently and held Ezra's gaze as he answered him. "I'm a friend of your mama's... we all are."

"You know my mama?" Ezra's face still reflected the pain he was feeling, but the fear had faded a little. "What's yourw name?"

"My name's Buck... and your mama asked us to take care of ya." Buck felt the slender fingers in his hand squeeze back, and he slowly eased himself forward until he was resting on the edge of the bed. "How old are ya, Ezra?"

The others stared as the years seemed to melt away. Ezra's face actually began to look like that of a small boy's... the hard look of cynicism was gone and in its place shone a childlike innocence. "I'm five... why did my mama w'eave me herwe? Did I do somefin' wrong again?"

Buck heard the small voice quiver softly on the last question and knew Ezra doing wrong in his mama's eyes had probably been a common occurrence in the young child's life. He saw Ezra's face turn a shade paler and a light sheen of sweat appear on his skin with the effort he was making to stay upright in the bed. Buck moved slightly closer to the gambler as he answered. "Naw... you didn't do nothin' wrong... your mama just needed to go away for awhile and asked us to watch out for ya. We've sent for her, and she should be here soon."

Nathan inched along the edge of the bed trying to get within arm's reach of Ezra, fearful that he was going to pass out and tumble to the floor. He motioned for Buck to try and get his arms around the weakening Southerner.

Buck stared into Ezra's face, saw the glazed look in his eyes, and knew he wouldn't last much longer. He slid further across the bed until he was close enough to gently wrap one arm around the bare shoulders of the smaller man. "You okay there, little guy? Why don't ya lean over here against ol' Buck and let me hold ya for awhile."

Ezra hesitated for a second, staring into Buck's eyes as if trying to decide if he could trust him, and finally, with a small sob of pain, eased his head down against the larger man's shoulder.

"That's it, baby... you're gonna be okay now." Buck reached up and gently ran his hand up and down the gambler's arm in an effort to soothe him.

Ezra whispered wearily, "I'm not a baby."

Buck chuckled softly and leaned down to look at him. "Sorry, pard... I know you're not a baby. Ya feelin' okay?"

Another whisper, this time laced with pain, answered him. "I'm fine. Jus' s'weepy."

"Just sleepy? You're sure nothin' hurts?" Buck knew he had to be in considerable pain, he could hear it in his voice and see it etched on his face.

"I tol' you... I'm fine." Buck looked down, saw the tears slowly trickling down Ezra's cheeks, and looked at Nathan helplessly. Nathan pointed at himself and then at Ezra... it took Buck a moment, but he finally figured out what the healer wanted. He nodded and turned the gambler slightly so he could see the other man standing by the bed.

"Ezra? This is Nathan... he's another friend of your mama's, an' he's a doctor. He wants to check you over and make sure you're alright... okay?" Buck felt the slight form he held in his arms tremble and push back against his chest. "It's alright... he's not gonna hurt ya."

Ezra squinted at Nathan as he settled beside him on the bed. The pain in his head was making it hard for him to focus his eyes. "Nafan?"

"Yup... Nathan's my name... and yours is Ezra, right?" Nathan could tell the Southerner was having trouble seeing, and knew he was nearly exhausted with all that had happened.

Ezra finally got a good look at the healer, and his eyes widened slightly as he became aware of the man's dark skin. "Arwe you a s'wave?" Then his surprise turned to worry and he looked around the clinic. "I'm not at Unca Maffew's, am I? Arwe you one of his s'waves?"

Nathan heard the hint of tears in his voice again, and hurried to reassure him. "I'm not a slave an' you're not at your Uncle Matthew's. You're here in Four Corners with us."

"I'm not at Unca Maffew's?" They could all hear the relief in Ezra's voice, and each of them wondered darkly exactly what went on at this Uncle Matthew's when Ezra was a child.

"No, you're in my clinic... you were brought here so's I could fix ya up." Nathan watched as Ezra looked down at his splinted arm.

"What happened to me... did Unca Maffew... did he..." They could all see the fear wash over Ezra's face again as he struggled to speak, and they knew the subject of his uncle would definitely be brought up when Maude arrived.

"Naw... it weren't your uncle. You fell and hurt yourself, that's all." Nathan watched him relax slightly... and then saw him gulp convulsively several times and knew he was having trouble. "Ezra... are ya okay?"

Ezra looked up at Buck and then at Nathan as he took a deep shuddering breath. He shook his head slowly. "I don't feewl good."

"Are ya gonna be sick?" Nathan asked, motioning quickly for one of the others to hand him the bucket he kept in the clinic for just such emergencies.

Ezra scowled at him and shook his head. "I jus' tol' you, Nafan... I aw'w'eady am sick!"

Nathan tried not to smile as he hurried to explain. "No... no... I meant do ya feel like you're gonna throw up?"

Buck felt the younger man's stomach contract under his hand and nodded quickly at Nathan, but Ezra continued to fight it. He swallowed several times as his face turned a nasty shade of green and shook his head again. "Can't... not a'wowed."

Nathan glanced back at Chris and the others, and saw the same confusion on their faces that he felt.

Buck glanced down and spoke to the smaller man cradled against his chest. "You're not allowed? Who told ya that?"

Ezra moaned softly as he fought against his rebellious stomach. "Mama..." he gulped again. "Mama hates when I'm s-sick... she... she'll take me to Unca Maffew's if... if I f'rwow up."

Buck smoothed the hair back off Ezra's sweaty forehead and leaned down to whisper in his ear. "She's not takin' ya nowhere... you're stayin' right here with us. Now if ya gotta throw up, you go ahead and do it... it'll make ya feel better."

Chris and Vin exchanged a determined look as they listened to the exchange between Buck and Ezra. Maude was definitely going to hear what they thought of her version of motherhood. No wonder Ezra was the emotional mess that he was... trusting no one, not being able to admit when he was sick or hurt... it was all becoming clear as they listened to Lit'l Ezra.

Nathan held the bucket ready beside the bed... he could tell by the gambler's face that he wouldn't be able to hold back much longer. It was only natural that he was sick to his stomach... the head injury alone was enough to cause it. Then pile on top of that all the stress he was now under, and it was sure to happen.

Ezra looked into Nathan's eyes, and as the tears started falling again, mumbled, "Nafan... I'm..." and the healer jerked the bucket up under the gambler's face just in time. Buck wrapped his arms around him, holding his broken arm still as his body jerked with each spasm.

Vin and JD immediately made a dash for the landing, their own stomachs rolling in sympathy with their friend's. Chris soaked a cloth in cool water and held it ready for Buck to wipe Ezra's face with when he was done, while Josiah moved to the stove and filled a mug with some of the willow bark tea that he knew Nathan would want to give him to ease the pain and settle his stomach.

Ezra was crying and nearly hysterical by the time his stomach stopped heaving, and Nathan had to struggle to get the tea into him. "I'm sowwy, Nafan... I trwied not to do d'at... pwease don't send me away... don't make me go to Unca Maffew's!"

Buck clung to him and wiped his face and mouth with the cool cloth Chris handed him, and whispered softly in his ear. "Shush now... no one's gonna make ya go nowhere... it's alright... you couldn't help it... shh..."

"Come on, Ezra... drink this for me, please? It's gonna make ya feel better." Nathan tried to hold the cup to the gambler's lips, but he kept twisting his head away.

"No, Nafan... it tastes yucky... pwease don't make... owww... ohhh... Nafan, my head huwts..." Ezra struggled weakly, and Nathan finally was forced to grip his chin tightly in his hand and hold him still while he forced the tea into his mouth. The smaller man coughed and sputtered as the foul tasting liquid was poured down his throat, and the only thing that kept him from kicking out at Nathan in childish anger were the blankets that had tangled around his legs.

When Nathan finally decided he'd gotten enough of the tea into Ezra and released his hold on his chin, the gambler turned around and buried his face in Buck's shirt, sobbing and moaning softly that he hurt.

Chris reached around behind Buck, propped a pillow against the headboard and held it still while the ladies man leaned back, pulling Ezra with him so that he was cradled against his chest.

Nathan carefully checked the splints on Ezra's arm and slipped a pillow under it to help cushion it. Then after pulling the blanket up over the gambler's shoulders and tucking it in, he eased himself onto the chair, leaned back and closed his eyes... exhausted from the struggle Ezra had given them. Buck rubbed his hand soothingly across Ezra's back and continued to reassure him he was okay until he finally felt the smaller man relax against him and heard his hitching sobs slow and then stop. By the time Ezra was asleep, Buck had joined him... his arms wrapped tightly around the gambler and his head drooped forward, cheek resting on the top of Ezra's head.

Chris and Josiah prodded a protesting Nathan out of the chair, and moved him over to the cot on the other side of the room. He was out like a light before they could even pull the covers over him. Two days of constant vigil over Ezra had taken their toll on both the healer and Buck.

Vin and JD had wandered back into the room as soon as they heard things quiet down, and now they stood staring at the usually stoic and unreachable gambler snuggled cozily against Buck Wilmington's chest. They all were worried and wanted to find out more about Ezra's condition from Nathan, but knew it would have to wait until morning.

"So who's supposed to be on watch tonight anyway... I can't remember." Chris looked tiredly at the others as he tried to get his mind focused on something other than the worrisome situation with the gambler.

"I'm on duty t'night, an' it was s'posed to be Buck's turn t' ride patrol in the mornin'," Vin reminded him.

"I'll take Buck's turn on patrol tomorrow, he needs to be here with Ezra," Josiah volunteered as he stared at the pair sleeping soundly in the bed.

"Well, then you and JD go get some sleep, and I'll stay here and watch over things till either Nathan or Buck wake up." The others reluctantly agreed, and after one last worried glance at Ezra, left the clinic.

Chris moved quietly over to the bed and reaching down, smoothed some stray curls back off Ezra's forehead, feeling the slight fever warming his skin as he did so. He smiled slightly and shook his head at the sight of the gambler and the ladies man curled up together in the bed. This is going to make for some interesting teasing once Ezra's back to his normal self. Then the grin slipped off the gunslinger's face when his thoughts continued... if Ezra returns to his normal self.

He sighed worriedly and settled himself in the chair by the bed, propping his feet up on the mattress in an effort to get comfortable. He dozed off and on during the night, but even in sleep his mind was focused on the gambler and what they were going to do if the worst happened and he stayed the way he was now. When morning finally came, he was no nearer an answer to that question than he'd been the night before. He just knew one thing... Ezra wasn't going anywhere. Somehow they'd deal with his problem together... as a family... and Maude would definitely not be in the picture.


Continued