Buck had gotten up to stretch his cramped muscles and was standing staring out the window when Nathan crossed the street, headed toward the saloon. The tall, lanky gunfighter shook his head and wondered again what had brought on the change in the healer's attitude toward Ezra. He'd questioned the Southerner once about it, but he had just mumbled something about Nathan and his noble principles and then had quickly changed the subject. Buck wanted to try and do something to mend their differences because he could see how much the crack in their friendship was hurting both of them, but it would just have to wait till they solved the problem of these nightmares of Ezra's first.
Buck heard Ezra moving restlessly in the bed and turned to see if he was finally waking up. Seeing a small frown appear on the young gambler's face, Buck hurried over and gently shook one blanketed shoulder. "Ezra?"
Ezra whimpered softly and pressed his face into the pillow as if trying to shut out whatever was upsetting him. "No... please...."
Buck sat down beside him and carefully rolled Ezra over onto his back. Patting gently at the gambler's face, he continued to talk to him, trying to ease him out of the dream. "Come on, pard, ya gotta wake up now." Buck smiled reassuringly as a pair of light green eyes slowly opened and peered blearily up at him.
"B-Buck? What are you—" Ezra's eyes closed again, and he sighed wearily as understanding struck. "Nightmare?"
Buck gave him a consoling pat on the arm and moved back over to sit on the chair. "Yup. Did I get ya woke up in time? Any signs of the headache comin' back?"
Ezra waited a few minutes, his body tensed in unpleasant anticipation, but he finally relaxed and gave Buck a small grateful smile. "I think you caught it in time. Thank you, Mr. Wilmington."
Buck shrugged his shoulders and stood up. "Just glad I was here to stop it. Now how 'bout I leave ya alone so's ya can get yourself dressed, an' then we'll meet down in the saloon an' grab some dinner when you're done."
Ezra nodded and then turned his eyes down to stare at the blankets. "While you're waitin' for me... do you think you could possibly locate the others and ask them to join us? I'd like to have everyone present when I... when I inform them of my impending departure and the reason for it. I-I don't think I could handle havin' to explain it more than once." Ezra's voice was choked with emotion as he struggled to make his request, and Buck could hear the loneliness his young friend was already feeling at the thought of leaving.
Buck knew it would be useless to argue with him, so he merely nodded and left the room. He stood with one hand resting against the door as a grim look of determination appeared on his face. "Don't you worry, pard... I'll see that they're all down there, but only so they can help me talk ya outta leavin'. One way or another you're gonna let us help ya... even if we have to tie ya down till ya agree." Buck started down the hall, still talking softly to himself. "We just got ya pulled into this family of ours, an' we sure as hell ain't lettin' go of ya already."
Ezra tugged on his sleeves nervously as he hesitated at the top of the stairs and gazed down at his friends gathered around their usual table. They had yet to notice him standing there, and he took the opportunity to try and imprint each of their images on his mind. Watching them as they sat talking quietly, he suddenly realized exactly how much he was going to miss all of them.
Chris. A man whom he'd come to respect more than anyone he'd ever met, and the first person in his lonely life to see something in him... something worth giving him a second chance over. Ezra still, after all this time, wasn't sure what the gunfighter had found that everyone else, including himself, had missed. He'd always wanted to ask, but had never quite gotten the nerve to pose the question... now he'd probably never know.
Vin. The quiet tracker who was so like himself in many ways. They were both loners, both were extremely slow to anger, and both were adept at keeping their emotions hidden. There were differences, but they had gradually seemed less and less important as the two men had worked around them to forge a deep and lasting friendship. Vin was the only one of the group, other than Buck, who Ezra was unable to hide his true self from. In fact, Ezra sometimes thought the ex- bounty hunter knew him better than he did himself.
Josiah. What in heaven's name would he do without the gentle preacher's firm hand on his back to keep him centered and on the right track? Ezra relied on Josiah to rein him in when his old conniving ways threatened to make a reappearance. One stern look from the older man was enough to remind the gambler that he was better than that now... that he'd grown since coming to Four Corners and left that shady side of him behind. Ezra just hoped he could continue to be someone Josiah would be proud of once he was out of reach of the preacher's guiding hand.
Nathan. His self-proclaimed conscience. The one person he admired the most out of everyone in the group. Ezra chuckled softly to himself at the thought of Nathan's shock if he were to ever discover his true feelings for him. Granted, it wasn't always pleasant having his ethical shortcomings thrown back at him... especially in front of their friends... but once Ezra got over his hurt feelings, he usually realized that the healer had been right in most of what he'd accused and was only trying to help Ezra become a better person. Like Chris, Nathan seemed to see something in him that he thought was worth fighting for. His gaze lingered on the former slave as he thought over their troubled relationship of the last few months. Something was bothering his friend, and for whatever reason, he seemed to be the outlet for Nathan's unhappiness. Ezra hated to leave with their friendship in such turmoil, but he didn't dare stay around long enough to try and resolve things with the healer... not if it meant putting them all in danger.
JD. Ezra couldn't contain the grin that slid over his somber features as he looked at the youngest member of their family. Their little brother... a title that the youth claimed to hate, but one which each of them knew he secretly welcomed. Ezra had never known anyone with JD's energy or zest for life. The boy lived every single day to its fullest and never failed to find some way to put a positive turn on any situation he encountered. Ezra had found himself living his lost youth vicariously through JD, and he hated to think about how dull and lifeless his days would be now without the boy around to brighten them.
And then there was Buck. Ezra felt the first real pangs of grief as he stared at the only person he'd ever completely let into his heart. Lord... how could he possibly leave Buck? His brow furrowed as a fleeting memory of a small voice saying those exact words flitted through his mind, but it was gone before he could focus on it. All he was left with was a certainty that it was going to crush his soul to not have Buck in his life.
Ezra felt a hot rush of tears flood his eyes as he stared at his family and realized there was no way he could go down there. He knew now that he'd never be able to leave if he allowed them the opportunity to try and talk him out of it. Turning quickly before he was spotted, Ezra made his way back to his room and closed the door. He collapsed on the edge of the bed and let the tears fall, allowing himself to wallow in self-pity for a few moments before stiffening his resolve and moving determinedly around the room gathering up his things. Once he had everything packed and waiting by the door, he sat down with pen and paper and began trying to explain his reasons for leaving without saying good-bye. He prayed he'd be able to find the right words that would allow them to accept his decision without hating him.
Buck was only half-listening to the conversation flowing around him. Where the hell was Ezra? He should have been down a long time ago. He could feel the others' impatience growing as they waited for the gambler, and knew they were watching him, wishing he'd just go ahead and explain what was going on.
He waited another few minutes, but then just couldn't ignore the uneasy feeling that had settled in the pit of his stomach any longer. "Be right back." He stood and left the table, ignoring the curious looks the others gave him as he hurried up the stairs to Ezra's room.
Buck stood outside the door, quietly listening, and heaved a sigh of relief when he heard a rustling noise coming from inside. With a quick knock, he entered the room and was promptly hit in the chest with a crumpled up piece of paper. Glaring at Ezra, Buck bent and retrieved the offending missile which had come to rest amongst several others lying discarded on the floor next to a pair of bulging saddlebags. Shooting a suspicious glance at the guilty looking Southerner, he smoothed out the paper and read the few words that were written on it.
"My dearest colleagues, I am sorry to have to tell you in this manner, but—"
Buck stared hard at Ezra, disappointment showing clearly in his dark blue eyes. "You were just gonna up an' leave without even explainin' to the others?" Sadness crept into his voice as he looked back down at the note. "Colleagues? That's how ya still think of us?"
Ezra returned Buck's gaze, his face flushed with shame as he tried to find the words to take away the hurt that he saw on the older man's face. Finally giving up, he slowly shook his head and stared at the floor. He knew if he tried to explain that using the term 'friends' in his farewell note was just too painful, the tears he'd been fighting against would finally begin to fall, and he would be helpless to stop them. So instead, he remained silent and kept his head down and allowed Buck to think the worst of him.
But Buck had spotted the tears shining in Ezra's eyes just before he'd looked away and realized the pain the gambler was suffering over his decision to leave. Moving over to the bed, the lanky gunman lowered himself down beside Ezra and rested a large, comforting hand on the back of his neck. "Come on, pard... you know ya don't really wanna leave. Let us help ya... I know between the seven of us we can come up with some way to beat these nightmares."
"What nightmares?"
Ezra and Buck both jumped when Chris spoke. Neither man had heard he and the others as they'd moved down the hall toward Ezra's room.
Buck looked at Ezra, but the gambler had quickly gone back to staring at the floor as soon as he'd seen the rest of his friends crowd into the room. He gently massaged the tense muscles in the younger man's neck and leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Ezra? You want me to tell 'em for ya?"
He didn't think Ezra was going to answer at first, but then Buck saw him slowly nod his head. "It's gonna be okay, Ezra... I promise."
Buck looked up and saw that the others had noticed the saddlebags lying by the door and that Chris was holding one of Ezra's discarded notes.
"Ezra? Why were ya gonna leave?" Chris spoke gently to the gambler as he walked over and sat on the other side of him.
Buck felt Ezra tremble beneath his hand and shook his head at Chris. "Let me tell ya what's wrong with 'im first, then one of us will tell ya why he thinks he needs to leave."
Chris frowned at the Southerner's bent head and then reluctantly gestured for Buck to continue. He'd rather hear the explanation straight from Ezra, but he couldn't seem to even look up at them, much less talk.
Buck waited until the others had settled themselves about the room and then with one last glance at Ezra, he began filling the others in on the gambler's problem. "Ezra's been havin' nightmares." The others shared a worried glance, all remembering the terror-filled dreams the gambler had experienced while he was Lit'l Ezra. "He's been havin' 'em 'most of his life, but he says they got real bad just 'fore he took that fall... an' they were always 'bout his Uncle Matthew."
Nathan's dark eyes widened in surprise and went quickly from Buck to Ezra and back to Buck again. He raised his eyebrows questioningly and Buck nodded. "I told 'im about the dreams he had while he had the amnesia... that's when he told me the others were about his uncle... but he don't remember nothin' 'bout no one named 'Manda."
Chris placed his hand on Ezra's back and felt him shaking. He realized there had to be more to all this than just nightmares if it was enough to get the unflappable gambler this upset and ready to leave the group. He looked down at the younger man and slowly began moving his hand in soothing circles, hoping he could get Ezra to relax enough to talk to them himself. "Ezra? Are the dreams still about your uncle?"
Ezra had been fighting to get his emotions under control while Buck was talking and with the help of Chris's comforting touch, he thought he was finally able to handle the rest of the explanation on his own. Taking a deep, calming breath, he raised his head and looked at Chris. He could tell he'd failed miserably at putting on his usual poker face by the worry that immediately appeared in the gunfighter's eyes, but at least he'd managed to get himself enough under control that he was able to speak without his voice shaking.
"I don't know if they are or not. As soon as I wake up and try to recall what the nightmare was about, I'm stricken with a headache that seems to effectively wipe away any memories of the dream."
"They're real bad headaches, Nathan," Buck added, knowing with absolute certainty that Ezra would downplay their severity.
Nathan immediately began insisting on taking Ezra to the clinic for a thorough examination once they were done talking, and Buck answered the dirty look the gambler subsequently shot him with a satisfied grin. He'd been wanting Nathan to check Ezra over ever since they'd gotten back from their trip to Jasper, but the younger man had adamantly refused. Now he'd have no say in the matter. Chris would see that he complied with the healer's wishes.
Now it was Nathan's turn to question Ezra. "Do ya only get 'em after one a those nightmares?"
Ezra nodded. "So far."
Nathan frowned. "Where do ya get 'em?"
"In my head." Ezra's glib reply was met with an angry scowl from the healer and a light slap on the back from Chris.
"Answer 'im, Ezra." Chris felt a small sense of relief at hearing the gambler's normal smart mouth kick in.
Ezra sighed and raised a shaky hand to his forehead. "All across here, but the worst of it seems to center itself behind my right eye."
"Do they make it hard for ya t' see or make ya sick t' your stomach?" Nathan's heart sank as Ezra answered yes to both of his questions, and he realized how wrong he'd been about the gambler that morning. He'd seen this type of headache before and the symptoms did mirror those of a hangover, but he hadn't even stopped to consider that something else might have been wrong with Ezra. He reached out and laid one of his large, dark hands over the gambler's smaller, pale one and squeezed gently. "I'm real sorry for actin' the way I did this mornin', Ezra. I was wrong to jus' take it for granted that you'd been drinkin'."
Ezra shook his head and smiled at the healer. "No apologies necessary, Mr. Jackson. I imagine it did look like I was in the throes of a monstrous hangover... that's certainly how these headaches feel."
Nathan sat back on the chair and stared at Ezra's face. Now that he was actually taking the time to really look at the Southerner, he could see the dark circles and lines of fatigue that surrounded his eyes. He'd probably had trouble sleeping... afraid if he did, the nightmares would return. "How long ya been gettin' the headaches?"
Ezra squirmed uncomfortably under Nathan's dark gaze and finally shrugged his shoulders. "A while."
Buck shook his head at the stubborn Southerner. "He told me he got the first one when he an' JD an' I went fishin' that first time."
Nathan felt a rush of shame knowing his friend had been suffering all this time because his harsh treatment of the younger man had made it too uncomfortable for Ezra to come to him.
Ezra clenched his hands together and nervously cleared his throat before looking around the room at his friends. "If you are through with your questions regarding my health, I'd... I'd like to ask one of my own."
"Sure, Ezra... just as soon as you answer my original question." Chris saw the confusion in the gambler's green eyes. "Why'd you think ya had to leave?" Chris still had his hand on the smaller man's back and felt him begin to tremble again.
"Isn't it obvious, Mr. Larabee? Because of these damnable headaches, we nearly lost Mr. Tanner this morning." He let his gaze wander over each of their faces as his heart began to pound painfully in his chest. "If I stay here, the very same thing could happen again... only next time, my inability to do my duty could end up getting one of you killed." Ezra turned his eyes down as he whispered brokenly, "You all mean too much to me to take that risk."
Vin pushed himself away from the wall he was leaning against and hunkered down in front of the distraught gambler. He placed his hand over Ezra's to calm their trembling and spoke softly to the other man. "That works two ways, pard... we all care too much about you t' let ya go." Vin smiled at Ezra when he looked up and opened his mouth to protest. "How 'bout we quit wastin' time arguin', an' work on figurin' out a way t' get rid of those nightmares of yours instead?
Buck nudged the smaller man with his shoulder when he saw him hesitate. "You might as well give in, Ezra... if ya try an' leave, we'll just follow you."
JD nodded and grinned at Ezra. "Everywhere."
Josiah moved over to stand in front of the door. "Makin' your life miserable."
Nathan bent over to look Ezra in the eyes. "An' ya know me, Ezra, I'll feel it's my moral duty t' warn all those poor people in every saloon ya stop at that it's useless t' try an' beat ya at cards."
Chris slapped Ezra on the shoulder and grinned at the defeated expression on his face. "Now that we all know you're not leavin', go ahead and ask your question."
Ezra's mouth opened and closed a few times, but he finally just shook his head and raised his hands in surrender. "Fine... I'll stay for now, but if we can't find a way to do somethin' about my headaches, and I think y'all are still in danger because of me, then I'm leavin', and I want your promise that you won't try to stop me."
The others realized they had no choice. Once Ezra saw them nod in agreement, he took a deep, shaky breath and asked his question.
"What exactly happened to me while I was sufferin' from the amnesia?"
The others all shifted nervously and looked at Nathan. It had been months since the accident, and Ezra had only asked a few vague questions about it. They'd hoped they'd never have to explain all of it, because they knew him well enough to know that it was going to be hard for him to handle finding out that he had spent a week acting like a five year old child.
Nathan saw that the rest of them were staring at him and knew they were going to follow his lead. He hesitated, not sure just how much he should tell Ezra.
Their reluctance to answer his question was making Ezra nervous, but he'd put it off long enough... he needed to know what had happened to him. Hopefully it would explain these odd images and flashes of memory that kept coming to him, and maybe if he were lucky, something he'd said or done during that time would shed some light on his nightmares. Besides, if it turned out that he had to leave, this would be his last chance to try and fill in that missing week of his life.
He saw the others watching Nathan and knew they were waiting for him to say something. "Please, Nathan? I... I really think I need to know now. I keep havin' these strange... thoughts... that just make no sense at all."
Nathan sighed resignedly and pulled his chair up in front of Ezra. They'd been pretty sure he was having flashbacks, but he'd never actually talked about them before. "What kind of thoughts, Ezra?"
Ezra blushed and stared down at his hands. "Y'all are goin' to think I'm losin' my mind. I... I keep seein' myself as a child... but... I'm always with one of you." He raised his eyes and grinned crookedly at Vin. "I keep havin' one where I'm kneelin' in front of you on a bed, and you're attemptin' to teach me how to play your harmonica." His gaze passed to Chris and his face turned even redder as an image suddenly came to him of his childlike self sitting on the gunfighter's lap in a rocking chair. "You... you were tellin' me a story... Goldilocks and the Three Bears, to be exact, and you were... holdin' me on your...." Ezra propped his elbows on his knees and dropped his face into his hands when he saw the startled look in their eyes. "I told you y'all'd think I was crazy."
Buck looked questioningly at Nathan who nodded for him to go ahead. There was no getting around it now, he had to be told.
Buck laid his hand on Ezra's back and leaned down to look into his face. "You're not crazy, pard, those things really did happen."
Ezra turned his head and frowned at Buck. "What did you say?"
Buck knew he'd heard him. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "They happened. When you had the amnesia... well, we fudged a little on what really went on. It wasn't that ya didn't know who ya were... ya knew your name... Ezra Payton Standish," Buck grinned when he saw the surprise that flashed in Ezra's green eyes at hearing him say his middle name, "but you were just a little mixed up about your age."
Ezra sat up and slowly shook his head at Buck. "I don't understand... my age? How could I be confused about my—" His heart started to pound and his head began to spin as his suspicions grew. "Just how old did I think I was?"
Buck glanced at the others and then looked back at Ezra. He could feel the trembling starting again and slowly began rubbing Ezra's back to calm him. "Now take it easy, pard... it's not all that bad."
Ezra shrugged off Buck's attempts to soothe him and stared hard at the other man. His voice shook as he repeated his question. "How. Old?"
Chris reached out and took hold of Ezra's hand, wincing as the gambler's fingers clamped tightly around his. Ezra turned his head and looked anxiously at the gunfighter when Buck continued to hesitate. "Chris?"
Chris sighed. "Five, Ezra... you thought you were five years old."
Ezra shook his head in denial, his eyes big as saucers and his mouth hanging open in shock. "No... I couldn't have— five?" He looked at the others and saw them all nodding. "I actually thought I was— for a whole week?" The expression on his face would have been funny if it wasn't apparent exactly how horrified he was. "But... that means that... that y'all had to take care of me and—"
Vin smiled at Ezra, trying to ease the tension some. "It's okay, pard, you were a good little cuss t' have around. A little hard t' understand at first, but we got the hang of it after a bit."
Ezra's face paled as he took in what Vin was saying. "I-I even spoke like a... like a... child?"
JD couldn't help it. Ezra's horrified expression, his rare struggle for words, the memories of some of the things the gambler did as Lit'l Ezra... it was all just too much for the young man. He laughed.
Ezra looked at JD and frowned.
"Oh God, Ezra... I-I'm s-sorry. I just can't h-help it. You were so d-darn cute...." JD dissolved into a helpless fit of the giggles, which was the complete undoing of the other five men.
"Good Lord...." Ezra groaned as he saw them all trying desperately to smother their own laughter. Flopping back on the bed, he folded his arms across his face and wondered if it were truly possible to die from embarrassment.
Josiah recovered first and sent JD and the others an admonishing look as he moved around the bed to sit near Ezra, placing a large, gentle hand on the Southerner's shoulder. "Ezra, we're not laughin' at you. We just can't help but smile when we think of Lit'l Ezra's visit because it was such a joyous time for us. It's nothin' for you to be ashamed of. You've got to remember, you were hurt and not in control of anything that was happening to you."
"Lit'l Ezra?" Ezra's voice reflected all the embarrassment he was continuing to feel, and he still refused to lower his arms and look at them.
Josiah chuckled. "Just one of the affectionate terms we had for the little guy."
"Oh Lord."
"Look at me, Ezra." Josiah tugged gently at the younger man's arm. "Please."
Ezra reluctantly allowed Josiah to pull his arms away from his face and looked up at the gentle preacher.
Josiah shook his head at the pain and doubt he saw in the sad green eyes that stared back at him. "This'll sound strange, but I wish you could have met Lit'l Ezra. He was a very affectionate and loving child who showed us all just how lucky we were to have found each other." Josiah could see Ezra was listening closely, so he kept his voice low and soft and kept trying to show the gambler the positive side of his accident. "I know you've seen the new closeness we all share... and I know you feel it, too."
Ezra nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving Josiah's. He had felt the change... in them and in himself. He'd known deep in his heart that something unusual had happened while he was sick, but he'd just never known exactly what it was.
"It's all because of you... the child in you. Lit'l Ezra brought us together with his need to be cared for, protected, and loved, and he eagerly returned that love, turnin' us from a group of friends who shared a job and a home into a true family." Josiah saw the pain and doubt slowly leaving Ezra's eyes as he gradually began to accept what he was hearing.
The others saw that Josiah's words were working and wisely stayed silent, letting the big man do the talking for now. Hopefully he could convince Ezra how important he was to their family and show him why he couldn't leave.
"All those images of me as a child... I thought I was losing my mind," Ezra whispered brokenly.
Josiah took Ezra's hand and squeezed it gently. "Why don't you tell us some of what you've been rememberin'... maybe it'll help to have us confirm and explain those images."
Ezra thought a minute and then shook his head as he again flushed red with embarrassment at some of the things he thought he remembered.
JD walked over and perched on a corner of the bed. "Come on, Ezra... I promise I won't laugh again." He grinned down at the gambler. "At least I'll try real hard not to. I've gotta admit, some of the things ya said an' did were kinda funny."
Ezra couldn't help but smile at the youth's honesty as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. "Why thank you, Mr. Dunne. That's very... reassuring. Just how embarrassed am I going to be over what 'Lit'l Ezra' said and did?"
Vin grinned at the gambler. "Plenty. Does the word... 'baff'... ring any bells?"
Ezra's mouth dropped open and his face flushed a deep scarlet as he quickly looked at Chris. "No... that didn't really—"
Chris blushed slightly himself. "'Fraid so." The gunfighter grinned and leaned over to whisper in the embarrassed Southerner's ear. "Don't worry, Ezra... I didn't look."
Ezra moaned and buried his face in his hands. "Oh my God... somebody please just shoot me now and put me out of my misery."
Once they convinced Ezra that it wasn't possible to die from embarrassment and that no one was going to comply with his request to shoot him, they got him to finish telling them about the little flashes of memory he'd experienced. Ezra propped himself back against the headboard and spent the next hour alternately blushing, grinning, and fighting away tears as the others sat around him and helped fill in the gaps in his memory.
They were careful to let him take the lead by answering his questions and confirming the bits and pieces he remembered, but not elaborating on particular incidents unless they were sure it was something he could handle. They tried to keep in mind Ezra's pride in his self-control and the need he still felt at times to keep a wall between his heart and everyone around him. So far, Buck was the only one to totally penetrate that protective barrier, but the rest of them were slowly making their way around it and didn't want to do anything that would impede their progress.
Everything went along fine for about an hour, and then Ezra began describing an incident that they'd all been hoping he wouldn't remember.
"Buck and I were in an alley... the one by the livery... someone was there with us. I can't—" Ezra's brow furrowed in concentration and he shook his head slowly as he stared at Buck. His voice trembled slightly with the frustration of not being able to remember it clearly. "It's all so fuzzy... so damned confusing. You were shot, weren't you? I know y'all told me that it— that you were injured durin' a bank robbery, but... but I don't think—" He stared up at them in confusion. "That's not really what happened, is it? You were tryin' to help me. I don't understand... why would anyone—" Ezra started rubbing distractedly at his forehead as he struggled to remember more details. "It was a large man... I can see him, but he's so shadowy...."
Buck laid his hand on Ezra's shoulder. "You gettin' one of them headaches, pard? Maybe we should stop for a little while."
Ezra sighed and closed his eyes. "I don't think it's one of those headaches...."
Nathan patted Ezra's leg. "I think you're jus' tryin' too hard t' remember... an' when's the last time ya ate?"
Ezra opened his eyes and flushed guiltily. "Um... last night?"
Nathan shook his head and rose off the bed. "Ezra... what am I gonna do with you? That's it... we're takin' a break an' gettin' somethin' t' eat." He saw Ezra about to protest and quickly continued. "An' then we'll talk 'bout that night in the alley."
Ezra sat forward and looked anxiously up at Nathan. "Then it was real? Someone who was after me shot Buck?"
Chris placed a reassuring hand on the gambler's shoulder. "It was real, Ezra, but like Nathan said... first you eat, then we'll tell you what happened." He waited until he'd received a nod of acceptance from Ezra before standing up. "Are you comin' down with us, or would you rather we brought somethin' up here for ya?"
Ezra slumped back against the pillows and shook his head. "I think I'd just as soon remain in my room, if you don't mind."
Buck could see that the stress of their talk was taking a toll on the younger man and decided to stay and make sure he was all right. He looked up at the others as they filed out the door. "I don't feel like goin' down either. Just bring me a plate of grub when ya come back."
Ezra frowned at Buck. "I promise you, Mr. Wilmington, I wasn't planning on sneakin' off while y'all were down in the saloon."
Buck was stung by the sarcasm in the gambler's voice and headed for the door. "I never thought you were, Ezra. I just thought ya might like some company."
Ezra moved quickly off the bed and grabbed Buck's arm before he could leave. "Wait, Buck... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—" Ezra sighed wearily and released the older man's arm to rub again at his aching forehead. "Please stay."
Buck turned and saw the paleness of Ezra's face and the pinched look around his eyes, and knew the headache was worse than he'd been letting on. He saw the Southerner sway slightly, and grabbed his arm and led him over to the bed. "Here, lay down an' rest some while the others are gone."
Ezra was too tired to resist and allowed himself to be pushed down on the mattress. Buck worriedly fussed over him, helping him off with his boots and coat and making sure he was comfortable before wetting a cloth and placing it gently across the smaller man's forehead. "Close your eyes for a bit, pard... maybe it'll help that headache."
"Buck? That man in the alley—"
Buck quickly laid a hand on Ezra's shoulder and stopped him. "Hush now... just rest. You heard Chris an' Nathan... we'll talk more after ya eat."
Ezra thought about protesting, but realized he was just too tired to argue with Buck. He managed a small nod and a few mumbled words of acquiescence before he drifted off to sleep.
Buck sat and watched over Ezra while he rested, ready to awaken him in case he slipped into one of his nightmares, but thankfully, his rest was easy, and he managed to sleep the entire time the others were gone.