Standard Disclaimer: All characters and situations related to Star Trek are wholly owned by Paramount Pictures. All the characters from the "Magnificent Seven" TV series are property of Trilogy Entertainment, The Mirisch Group, MGM Worldwide.
When Alexandra Styles dreamed, it was always the same.
It replayed itself in her mind like a never ending carousel, singing its familiar song in a perfect melody, reminding her with each note the tortured clarity of the incident which had burnt away everything she was in a six month ordeal of pain and humiliation. Though she had expunged the memory of what had happened to her from her conscious mind, burying it all in an abyss deep inside of her, she knew it was not truly gone. The stink of it has seeped into her bones and left its mark upon her despite her best efforts to forget. She knew it had changed her from what was into what is and though she was stronger for the experience, there was apart of her destroyed forever that she missed deeply, though she told no one about it.
Six months of hell that had followed her for the past three years, sharing her bed, her thoughts and her soul like a lover might do, expect none of it was wanted. It infuriated her of course that it would not go away and much of it had to do with the pride that would not allow her to tell anyone what had happened. For she knew if she did, then the wall behind which she kept it all safely hidden would shatter and god help her then when that deluge of hurt was allowed to overwhelm her. When she had grown up without a mother and found herself in the company of the Klingon housekeeper who practically raised her while her father had played diplomat on Kronos, she had been told that being a woman was no excuse to be weak
Kellein as she was called and she wore it with great pride for it was the name of Kahless' bride, had taught Alex that a woman could have a warrior spirit too. Even after her father had left Kronos and she had grown to womanhood, Alex would find herself returning to the hearth of Kellein to visit. The last time she had seen Kellein had been after her escape from that Cardassian prison. She had been unable to face her father because the shame was too fresh and fled to the arms of her Klingon surrogate, who had dried her tears and told her that her best revenge upon those who had hurt her was to survive.
Alex had managed that and more but sometimes, she wished she just wished she could sleep without dreaming.
Alex woke up screaming.
For an instance after she had woken so abruptly from her less than peaceful slumber that she had no idea where she was and the instinct to hide would grip her mind with terrifying intensity. She scrambled out of bed, not completely awake, moving with amazing stealth for the darkest corner of the room. Once there, she pressed her back against the wall as she hid in its shadows, hugging her knees against her chest and praying that the sounds she had heard were not the footsteps of them coming for her.
Not again! Please God, not again!
The play was one that had repeated itself on several occasions since her arrival on the Maverick as its second officer. For several seconds as she remained where she was, trembling in absolute terror until reason and recognition bled into her mind and she realised that she was not inside the cell of a Cardassian prison but rather in her quarters on board the Maverick. Alex would blink once and twice, tears running down her cheeks, intermingling with the cold sweat that had form on her skin, plastering her underclothes to her limbs. She would see the walls of that prison cell disappear and the familiar surroundings of her quarters, the little bits and pieces that reminded her that this was her place would appear to offer comfort that she was safe.
Alex did what she always did whenever she woke up like this and that was to weep. She would cry loud ragged sobs of anger and frustration at her mind's refusal to let her forget before she told herself that tears were pointless. The violence was done. It was burned into her mind like a branding iron had been taken to her soul. There was no forgetting just acceptance. She would dry her tears and hardened her insides once more before forcing it all away into that black pit which only seemed to release her demons when her mind was in slumber.
Taking a deep breath, she steadied herself and decided she was done sleeping for the night. The clock on her night table told her it was still night, as far as it could measured on a starship where there was no sunrise or sunset. Needing to get out of her room for awhile, Alex washed her face and freshened up as best she could before slipping into a comfortable dark body suit. She needed to sleep despite her bad dreams because she had an early shift on the bridge the next morning and she was going to be in no condition for it unless she overcame her problem.
There was no one about as she emerged into the quiet corridor outside her quarters. Alex did not expect anyone as most of the crew was probably in bed, which was where she ought to be. The Maverick operated on 24-hour cycles in order to keep the crew's sense of time in check as well as giving personal some continuity to their days thus this period of time was currently measured according to the Maverick's standard as being nighttime. She hoped that Nathan was not on duty tonight because she did not relish the idea of explaining to him why she needed dream suppressants again. She knew he was itching to get her into see Counselor Sanchez and without actually coming out and telling the good doctor how she felt about it, Alex thought he had about as much chance of that happening as her deciding to take up belly dancing.
Making her way to SickBay, she ran through all the things she had planned the next day and realised that the party was tomorrow night. In the interest of morale, Inez the bartender at Four Corners had convinced the Captain to allow her to throw a party at one of the holodecks, worst yet a costumed party. Of course Inez had made her case all the more attractive when she came up with the inspired choice of making the theme for the celebration a western one, perfectly aware that Chris Larabee's favorite holodeck program was some ridiculous western tale about seven gunmen. If it were not for the fact that Vin had asked her to go as his date, Alex would have been perfectly content to curl up in bed with a good book. Unfortunately, for some damn reason she did not wish to delve too deeply into to explain, the Vulcan had the ability to push all the buttons inside of her that would make her refuse him nothing.
The only time she could get her own back was when she completely kicked his butt in the holodeck.
Arriving at SickBay, Alex swore under her breath when she saw Nathan Jackson in attendance and wondered if the man ever slept. Why was it that it was always him on duty when she came in at these hours. Before the thought even left her mind, Alex knew the answer. It was because she was in here a lot and eventually, those periods coincided with his turn to be on night duty. Nathan was at his desk when she walked into the SickBay, praying that she would not get too much flack about needing something to sleep again.
"Hello Nathan." She greeted as she broke the silence of the room with her voice.
"Hello Alex," Nathan returned her greeting as he emerged from behind his desk where he had been taking the opportunity of catching up on some medical profiles he had been accumulating for the crew this past week. The solitude and the quiet at this time of night allowed him to concentrate as there were seldom visits to the Sick Bay at such a late hour by the crew, with one notable exception.
He could tell by her cautious steps into the room, that Alex was not happy to see him in here tonight. Nathan supposed he could hardly blame her for her paranoid about how he would take her return considering this had not been the first time he had seen her come into Sick Bay at this hour of the night. The physician knew what she wanted of course and while he did not wish to pry into the private lives of any crewmen, particularly the third in command of the ship, his concern was starting to breach the boundaries of friendly concern into a professional consideration.
"Can't sleep?" He asked automatically, sparing her the difficult of asking.
She swallowed thickly and nodded. "Sleeping is not the problem." She said quietly. "It's the dreams."
Nathan who was aware of her medical history enough to know she had very good reasons for troubling dreams did not probe too deeply into the cause. "It's the brains way of dealing with things you keep buried for too long." He found himself remarking, hoping that it might provide her the incentive to get some long term help.
"Things in my head are buried just fine." Alex retorted, knowing Nathan wanted to help but it was an old argument and its power to sway her was waning each time it was brought up. "Can I please have the dream suppressants?" She spoke trying not to be rude but she really needed to be out of here because she did not want any unwanted advice that would only make her bark at him. Nathan was one of the kindest men she knew and as a physician, he had no peer. Unfortunately his dedication to his patients, made him somewhat intrusive at times and if there was one thing that Alex could not tolerate was people meddling into her private affairs, no matter how well the intention.
Nathan frowned, knowing when his interest was not wanted and perfectly aware that Alex was not one to ask for personal advice and would not take kindly if he attempted to give but he could not allow the situation to continue the way it had. Dream suppressants were meant to be taken on occasion, not three or four times a weeks which was how often he saw Alex since she had come on board the Maverick. While the drug itself was not addictive, prolonged use of any chemical would have long term effects on the body.
However, Nathan was not so much concerned about the physical effects of her dependence on dream suppressants to get good nights sleep but more her mental condition. The doctor in him reacted strongly to a person in pain and he could tell that she suffered greatly but refused to allow anyone to help her. The Captain was happy to let things stand being just as aware as Nathan regarding what Cardassians did to their prisoners to have some idea of what she must have endured as their captive. However, it obvious that her subsconscious mind was playing havoc with her by her repeated nocturnal visits to SickBay.
"Look you're gonna tell me its none of my business," he started to say, deciding to hell with hit. He was a doctor and when he saw a patient in obvious pain, he was going to speak his mind, whether or not his aid was wanted. "But you need to talk to someone about this. I can't keep giving you dream suppressants."
Alex knew she ought to be angry but she was not, not when the advice being given was produced with such sincere desire to help. Instead, a faint smile stole across her face and she did something that was most unusual for her. She reached for his cheeks and said with a smile. "You're a wonderful doctor you know."
"I'm still not changing my mind," Nathan replied after a moment, feeling a little surprise by the gesture. "You need help Alex, you need to talk to someone about this. Even if it's just to get it out there instead of hiding it deep so you can forget about it. I'm not a Counselor but even I know the dreams are just the mind's way of saying it needs to talk, that not all things can remain buried forever."
He left her to ruminate on that for a moment as he went to find the pills she would need to get some sleep without being plagued by nightmares. After a moment he had found them and faced her again. Alex had not moved from where he left her and appeared deep in thought until he returned to her. He wondered if she was really considering his words and hoped that perhaps he might have breached the stubbornness that was determined to see her endure her demons alone.
"Here." He handed her the small canister of pills. "You know the drill. Take one a night. I've given you a week's worth and that's all. After that, we're going to discuss this on a more formal level."
Alex took a deep breath and nodded in understanding. Deep inside her, she knew he was right. This could not continue. The dreams had followed her for the past three years and showed no signs of abating, if anything they seemed to grow worse with the passage of time and yet despite all the fear that plagued during her nights, Alex still could not concede defeat.
"I'm not ready." She whispered hoarsely and Nathan could see that admission had been extracted from her almost involuntarily. "I don't know if I'll ever be ready."
"You'll never know until you try." He persisted, feeling as if he made some headway.
"Then I guess I may never know." She said quickly and walked out of the room before anything else could be said on the subject.
Nathan let out a sigh and reminded himself that it was time that he had talk with Josiah.
Chris Larabee could smell trouble and when he read the latest communication he had received from Starfleet Command earmarked for Captain's eyes only, he knew that his nose was still as accurate as ever, even through the vacuum of space. After, he had read the contents of the priority message and was bombarded with a number of issues following its content; he considered them deeply in the confines of his Ready Room. As of yet, he was unprepared at the moment to bring those issues to the attention of the rest of his crew, save perhaps his first officer.
It was easy to forget that whilst they were stationed here on the edge of Federation space and days away from the nearest starbase, the Alpha Quadrant was presently engaged in a battle for its survival. The enemy had the power to topple not just the Federation but also the Klingon and Romulan Empires as well. There were times when Chris wanted so much to be apart of that great conflict that he could taste it. Just hearing about the loses being sustained and the friends who were dying with each battle, made him feel somewhat guilty that he was safely stationed here so far from the fighting. Of course, he knew he was being foolish. Their presence on the front lines played an important role in the war effort. The last thing that the Federation needed while they battled foes from the Gamma Quadrant was to be caught unawares when the Borg decided to come calling.
Faced with the Collective, the Dominion seemed rather tame.
However, there was plenty to fear from the Dominion and only a fool would consider them any less dangerous than the Borg. The Dominion threat to the Alpha Quadrant had emerged with the discovery of a stable wormhole in Bajoran space. The Bajorans considered the portal that cut short a journey to the Gamma Quadrant that would normally take 80 years into a matter of minutes, to be nothing less than the Celestial Temple of their prophets that was the basis of all religion on the planet. Starfleet had established a Federation presence on a formerly Cardsassian space station that had been left behind when during the Cardassian occupation of Bajor.
On Deep Space Nine, the Federation had begun exploring the Gamma quadrant with no idea that there were dangers on the other side of the wormhole that should have made them beware. The arrival of the Dominion, whose masters were shape shifters who had infiltrated the new territories easily, launched the Alpha Quadrant into the largest military engagement of its history. Even with the combined strength of the Federation, the Klingon Empire and Romulan Empire, the Dominion held fast and firm.
This was mostly due to the aid provided by the Cardassians and the Breen, not to mention their formidable warrior caste called the Jem Haddar, who were soldiers bred for war and whose thirst for it was enhanced by a narcotic known as Tetracel White. Without Tetracel White, the Jem Haddar would die and as of yet the quantities in the Alpha Quadrant were almost non existent. The greatest advantage that the allied forces had at the moment was the Dominion could not replenish the supply of the White since the collapse of the wormhole that led back to the Gamma Quadrant.
The document Chris had just received from Starfleet Command could change all that. The frontier that the Maverick now patrolled was the furthest point from where the war that was raging between the Federation and the Dominion was taking place. However, if what he reading was accurate, that focus point could soon shift and it was very possible that a Dominion invasion fleet was on its way.
Chris had sent for Buck earlier, uncertain of whether or not he should bring this information to the rest of the ship just yet. His orders required him to return to Deep Space Four immediately to deal with the delicate situation he and his ship would soon be embroiled in. With the war effort raging as it had been with loses on both sides being considerable, Chris knew that he was on his own and how he handled the crisis that was brewing would mean the difference between the survival of the Alpha Quadrant and everything that he knew.
Buck Wilmington entered his captain's inner sanctum and knew immediately that something was up. Chris' expression did not change as his first officer walked in and Buck had known him long enough to understand that something ominous was on the horizon. Chris glanced his way and gestured with a slight nod for Buck to sit down, while still staring at the data pad in his hand. The captain was eased into his chair, ruminating quietly on thoughts Buck was not privy to but could feel most potently with the intensity in his darkening eyes.
"Chris?" Buck asked gingerly as he eased himself into the chair across the captain's desk, knowing that if he were going to get really bad news, he would rather be comfortable while hearing it.
"I just got a priority one communication from Starfleet Command." Chris announced, aware that this would not be of any surprise to Buck since he was on the bridge with Chris when JD had first made them aware of the incoming transmission. It had sparked everyone's interest because it was for captain's eyes only and though protocol kept Buck from asking until Chris chose at his discretion to reveal the truth, he knew that eventually the captain would bring him into his confidence.
"Bad?" Buck asked, wanting to know sooner rather than later.
"Yeah." Chris nodded slowly. "A Cardassian defector claims that the Dominion believes that there is a planet out here that produces Tetracel White."
"Jesus Christ." Buck exclaimed, just as aware as Chris of what the implications of this could mean. "Where?"
"That part they aren't sure of." Chris retorted tossing the data pad on his desk, annoyed that they did not have the most vital part of the puzzle. "The defector claims that it is out here and that the Dominion may be intending an invasion of this area to take the planet and control of the White."
"The White is the one thing that's holding them back," Buck declared. "If they get an unlimited supply...."
"You don't have to tell me." Chris said with a deep breath. "If they get a supply, they can grow as many Jem Haddar troops as they need and overwhelm the Alpha Quadrant by sheer numbers. We're barely holding our own as it is, a boost like this could finish us. We won't have to worry about the Borg."
"Aw hell," Buck swore under his breath and could appreciate why Chris was so worried. "So what are our orders?"
"Starfleet wants us at Deep Space 4 immediately." He replied pushing the data pad at Buck and offering a slight nod of consent that the first officer could examine the orders for himself if he liked. "We are to pick up this Cardassian and find the planet before the Jem Haddar. Once we find it, we are to secure it until more ships arrive to take our place. They'll set up a planetary defense shield and keep starships on permanent guard duty around the system."
"That still won't stop the Dominion from coming." Buck pointed.
"Well Starfleet is hoping that the offensive that Captain Sisko of DS9 is planning is going to keep them busy for awhile." Chris explained. "With the Romulans on board and the Tholians offering military support, we might be able to push them back towards Cardassian space. The plan is to force them back into Cardassian territory and keep them pinned there until they surrender. With the wormhole closed, they're not getting reinforcements any time soon."
"That's going to be messy," Buck replied, just as aware of the dangers as Chris. "They could stay in Cardassian space and burrow in, we could be facing a war that last years."
"We are already facing that," Chris pointed out. "This will just confine it to one place. They've taken Betazed already and they're going to be going after Vulcan soon, Sisko wants a line drawn."
"So now we're defending this part of space from the Dominion as well as the Borg?" The first officer let out a heavy sigh of worry. "Damn Chris," he gave his old friend a look. "How did it ever get this bad?"
"I don't know," Chris shrugged. "But I want to keep this under our hats for today. Let the crew enjoy the party tonight and tomorrow, we'll hold a general staff meeting and tell them."
"It might be an idea to encourage as many civilians as we can to disembark at Deep Space Four," Buck suggested. "If we run into a Jem Haddar fleet, it might end up saving some lives."
"I agree," Chris nodded, involuntarily thinking about Mary and Billy, even though he knew there was no way he would be able to get the protocol officer to leave the ship. However, he intended to his level best to persuade her otherwise nonetheless.
"So any word on this Cardsassian?" Buck asked.
"Yeah," Chris replied and Buck noticed the frown on Chris' face deepening. "He's supposed to be a Cardassian Gul or something. He was one of those who didn't hold with the idea of Cardassia joining the war on the Dominion's side and apparently got shuffled to some dead end job. He got wind of this through some papers that crossed his desk accidentally and that's how he found out about this planet."
"Cardassian huh?" Buck understood Chris' frown now. "Great."
Chris could not disagree with Buck on that less than optimistic view of their coming visitor.
The Cardassians as a race were a slippery bunch who tended to be disliked by most of the other major races that came across them. During the Border Wars with the Federation, the Cardassians had ignored all the rules of engagement and had attacked civilian targets, killing whole families without impunity. The Klingons considered them to be without honour and the Romulans found their methods to be somewhat sloppy in comparison to their own ruthless efficiency. Chris had no particular dislike for the race but found it extremely uncomfortable that he had to rely on the word of a supposed defector to keep his ship safe.
When it came to the Maverick, everyone was suspect.
"Well I better assign Alex somewhere else for a few days." Buck remarked offhandedly.
"She's a professional." Chris said firmly, confident that despite her previous experience with Cardassians, Alex would comport herself properly. "Antimatter wouldn't explode if Alex decided that was how it was going to be, she'll have no trouble putting up with one paper shuffler."
"You think so?" The first officer's doubt was clear. "We're talking about a paper shuffler that used to be a Cardassian Gul." He pointed out.
"I'll talk to her." Chris offered, certain that it was not a necessary precaution. Alexandra Styles was one of the finest officers he had ever served with and although she was somewhat infuriating at times, she was completely capable of handling herself in all situations, Chris had no doubt that this would be no different.
"No," Buck spoke up, knowing how tactful Chris could be about such things and decided he had better do it himself if he wanted this done right. "I'll do it. I already piss her off."
"Oh you do love the tough ones." Chris taunted with a little bit of the devil in him and then added a little something more, just to infuriate Buck. "So how's things with Inez? Get anywhere with her yet?"
"With all due respect captain," Buck said with as much dignity as he could muster.
"Yeah Buck?" the captain grinned wickedly.
"Go sit on torpedo."
What was it about Vin Tanner that could reduce her to this?
Alex looked in the mirror and frowned, not liking one bit the reflection that stared back at her. How on earth did women of the period go around dressed like this? Alex had been wearing the garb fashioned specifically for the women of late 1800's for little more than twenty minutes and could not imagine wearing a costume like this all the time. Despite the sweeping skirt that flounced each time she moved, the outfit was extremely restrictive. It clung too tightly around the bodice emphasizing her figure more than she would like and what it did for her bust line was another thing entirely. Alex looked down and saw that her cleavage was being extremely prolific and she felt very uncomfortable about going out like this.
According to the records, the women of the time wore their hair up and thus a quick trip to the ship's salon (amazingly enough Galaxy class starships had one) had seen her dark hair piled on top of her head with loose strands resting gently over her exposed neck. Alex supposed she looked as if she would fit in with theme of the party in the royal blue dress and prayed nothing would happen during the celebration that would require her on the bridge in this costume. Adding the finishing touches to her look, she had dabbed a bit of that expensive perfume she had picked up during their last visit to a starbase when she heard someone at her door.
The chime rang softly as usual and Alex swore under her breath when she turned away from the mirror and almost tripped on the long skirt, forgetting for a second what she was wearing and had made a mental note to remember how to walk in this thing. Reaching the door, she knew who was behind it and noted that as always, he was terribly punctual. Even though humans raised Vin, there were some things about him that were genetically Vulcan. He kept time better than no man she knew.
The doors slid open and his eyes widened as he caught sight of her.
For a minute, Vin Tanner said nothing and simply stared because he had never seen Alex so....he struggled for the right word, so female. Of course he knew that she was a woman but until this moment, he never realised how much. Everything about her was different and the exposure of her neck normally concealed behind the high collars of Starfleet issue uniforms tantalised his eyes as he followed its length down to the full breasts that were partly revealed within the tight dress she was wearing. He was almost fascinated enough to reach down and touched them if he did not know for certain that he would be slapped in outrage.
Alex noticed his reaction. It was rather difficult not too and rolled her eyes before remarking with her hands on her hips. "And today you are man." She said sarcastically and smacked him on the side of his arm. "Hey, my face is up here?"
Vin looked up and went red involuntarily. "I'm sorry." He stuttered. "I just never seen you look so much like a girl."
Alex gave him a look and shook her head. "Please stop it, I can't take much more of this smooth flattery."
Vin cleared his throat and could not help himself from continuing to stare at her, even though he tried to do it more discreetly this time. "You look nice." He managed to say as she stepped out of her quarters and they made their way to the holodeck where the party was taking place.
"Thank you," she smiled warmly because that was a more preferable response to his initial reaction. For his part, Vin looked very much like the part he was meant to play as one of the seven gunmen in Buck's Magnificent Seven holodeck program. Dressed in a buckskin jacket that utterly suited him, he seemed comfortable because he was able to hide in it. Despite herself, she found him ruggedly handsome and let out a sigh because despite his fascination with her form earlier, he was hardly in the position to do anything about it. In truth, knowing that Vin was a sexually immature Vulcan was very liberating because she did not have to worry about his constantly trying to hit on her like Buck Wilmington.
They were friends and it was just the way Alex liked it.
The party was in full swing by the time the captain arrived.
He always seemed to capture everyone's attention when he walked into a room, most of the time as captain but today it was different because he played the part of the imposing man in black. Chris was pleased to see that the crew was enjoying themselves as he moved deeper into the holodeck recreation of the tavern that Inez had selected to hold the celebration. There was a four piece band playing in one corner of the room, filling the air with its quaint but top tapping rhythm that had actually inspired some people to try their hand or feet at the dances that were fashionable for the time.
"Hey that looks fun." Mary remarked as she breezed into the room at his arm. Fortunately, this no longer raised eye brows as it once had among the crew as they were accustomed to the way things stood between the captain and the protocol officer. He could not blame them for looking though. Mary was wearing a simple lavender colored dress with her long hair worn around her shoulders, styled only by the hair clip that held some locks in place and by Chris' reckoning, she had never looked lovelier. If she really had existed back in the Old West, Chris had no doubt he would be fighting gun battles with would be suitors for her hand all the time.
Fortunately in the present, he could just have them transferred or ejected out the nearest torpedo bay, whatever was most convenient.
Mary was staring in the direction of Julia and Ezra who were dancing and even though the pace of the song was fast, the duo were moving together slowly, gazing into each other eyes with obvious affection. Between his cynicism and sardonic manner and her bright and optimistic attitude to everything, they were an interesting couple. They spent most of their time together bickering but everyone on the ship knew their relationship burned fiercer than the warp core.
"You would put me through that?" Chris looked at her with a smile.
"If I can get into this outfit for you," Mary glanced down at her dress that though appeared to be very becoming, was rather cumbersome. "I think you can indulge me in a dance."
"I thought Vulcan wives were supposed to be compliant and obedient." He remarked with a brow raised and a hint of mischief.
"Well I've been slumming lately," she retorted.
"Okay," he conceded defeat. "One dance, just let me talk to Buck first." Chris replied glancing in the direction of the bar where the first officer of the Maverick was continuing his quest for the Holy Grail called Inez.
Mary understood the look in his eye enough to know that whatever he intended discussing with Buck was not related to the party but rather ship's business. "Sure," she offered him one of those killer smiles that had the power to melt his heart in one flash of radiance. "I have to go see William's school teacher anyway," Mary replied. "I think I saw her when we were coming in."
"The new one?" Chris asked.
"Yes," Mary nodded as she began to pull away from him. "Audrey."
"I'll be at the bar," he called out to her and strode towards the counter in a matter of seconds, greeting other crew men on the way and took special note of where JD and Casey were. The ensign was at a table in a forgotten corner of the room with his yeoman, mooning over each other the way young couples their age tended to do. Chris suddenly felt a protective surge of paternal concern that made him want to go over there and remind JD that unless he did not want to spend the next year cleaning the EPS conduits in the Waste Recycling system of the ship, he had better treat Casey right.
"Come on Inez," Buck was pleading as Chris arrived at the bar. "Just have one date with me."
"Buck," Inez frowned, deciding she would just have to come out and say this since she could think of no other way to put the first officer of the Maverick straight about her feelings regarding dating him in any shape of form. "I am in a relationship already."
Buck's expression was nothing less than crestfallen and Chris was shocked to realise that the visage on his old friend's face was not one that was customary to being rejected but rather that of genuine disappointment. With a sudden start, Chris realised that there was more to his affection for Inez Recillos than his usual attitude of bedding everything that moved. Buck really liked this woman.
"Is he on the ship?" Buck asked, trying to sound as if he did not have his heart ripped out of his chest.
"No," Inez shook her head. "He's the Captain of the Venture." She replied.
Both men blinked. "You mean Raphael Castille?"
"You know him?" Inez looked at them both with surprise.
"Yeah," Chris nodded. "I know him. We were at the Academy together." He could not imagine what a small world it was even if there were so much space outside this ship. "He's a good man."
The Venture was an Intrepid class starship made solely for the purpose for combat duty. She was a highly maneuverable craft with quantum torpedo ports and had spent the duration of Dominion War on the front lines of the battle. If Inez was engaged in a relationship with Captain Castile, Chris could very well understand why Castille would rather she be stationed on a ship like the Maverick, far removed from the battle and the danger he must be facing on a daily basis on the Dominion front lines.
"Well its a long distance relationship," Buck declared with a grin, never one to give up no matter how untenable the situation might appear at first glance. "It can't last."
Inez met Chris' gaze and rolled her eyes in resignation. "What can I get you Captain?" She asked with a sigh instead, deciding that she would just ignore this conversation or else her head would start to hurt and as the bartender of the evening for this little soiree, that simply would not do.
"Whiskey, neat." Chris replied with a smile, offering her the silent agreement that she was probably right about terminating the conversation with Buck, although Chris had every intention of finding out just how deep his oldest friend's about the woman went once they were alone.
"Be careful there Captain," Buck warned as he took a sip of what he was drinking. "Miss Inez is not serving synthehol but the genuine product."
"Even better," Chris grinned, not having much liking for synthehol produced whiskey. It just did not have the same edge to it.
As Inez went to fill his order, Chris sidled up next to Buck and took the stool next to his first officer before they got down to discussing a subject that was not entirely related the social event taking place around them. "I just got word back from Starfleet Command," Chris lowered his voice and Buck instinctively closer to hear what he was saying. "Apparently, a Romulan warbird was captured by the Dominion a month ago. The crew was taken off the ship alive and have since been returned on the basis of a prisoner exchange but the warbird is still in Dominion hands."
"What does that mean?" Buck asked nervously, even though he thought he had a very good idea what the Dominion might want with a Romulan warbird.
"It means that they might have taken it apart to discover how to build a cloak around their ships. If that's the case and in the time frame we're taking about, we could have a handful of cloaked ships leading the invasion of the system that may have the Tetracel White."
Both men stopped talking as Inez returned and the bar tender looked at them long enough to know whatever was being discussed did not require her presence and thus withdrew quickly, allowing them to resume their conversation. "Hell Chris," Buck whispered. "They could sneak a fleet through Federation space without anyone being the wiser."
"I know," Chris nodded ruefully. "That's why I'm allowing this little get together," he answered, allowing his gaze to sweep over the faces in the room enjoying themselves, laughing and dancing, with no idea of what was coming at them in warp speed with the arrival of the new day. "Let them have some fun because tomorrow, we go on full tactical alert."
"Good idea." Buck agreed with the captain's reasoning and felt strongly that the crew should have one evening to blow off some steam because being at full tactical alert tended to run people ragged, even the civilians on board. He had a feeling that everyone was going to feel the pressure of a Dominion presence once the news got out about the White. Deciding that a change of subject might be in order since captain and first officer needed some down time as well before they faced the challenges of the next few days, Buck looked around and saw Mary talking to the new school teacher, Audrey King.
"Mary looks great." Buck commented and immediately saw a surge of affection in Chris' gaze, as the captain glimpsed her way. No one was happier than Buck at the budding romance that was forming between the captain and the protocol officer. Although the relationship saw them closer than friends, Buck was certain it had not progressed beyond the mutual affection they had for each other. Buck did not voice it but Mary Travis was a great deal like Sarah, Chris' deceased wife. Sarah had been strong willed and unafraid to stand up to Chris and Buck had a feeling that it was this that Chris was so drawn to upon first meeting Mary, following his initial attraction to how stunning she looked.
"Yeah," Chris said with a smile and then saw Buck keeping his eyes on the lady in question much longer than he liked and quickly remarked. "Hey, look somewhere else."
"Oh what do you take me for?" Buck glared at him with a wounded expression. "I am just as familiar as the term 'no fly zone' as you." He said haughtily.
"Its not like that," Chris bristled, hating it implied that he had some claim on Mary even though he knew deep down that it was more than a little true. Half the reason why they came to events like this together and why Chris had allowed it was mostly because he did not want anyone else paying attention to Mary if they knew the captain was interested.
"I'm sure it isn't." Buck answered with a perfectly straight face.
Chris cast his most scathing glare at Buck and became even more chagrined when it had absolutely no effect on the first officer. Buck instead, had burst into this inane grin that used to annoy the hell out of Chris when they were cadets at the Academy and had not changed one wit throughout the years of their friendship. "Where's Vin?" Chris asked, in an effort to change the subject before he was forced to wipe that smirk off Buck's face. "He is coming right?"
Chris knew how reclusive Vin could be and even though he had developed a deep friendship with all the members of the senior staff, large crowds tended to keep him in the shadows. While Vin might enjoy the Magnificent Seven program like the rest of them, Chris feared that such large numbers present in the holodeck for such a wholly social occasion might drive the helmsman to ground. Chris just hoped Vin understood that if he did not show himself this evening, his captain might just be determined enough to drag him here by his pointed Vulcan ears.
"He's probably picking Alex up." Buck remarked, his attention scanning the room for potential candidates with whom he could share his evening since it did not appear as if he would be charming Inez any time soon.
"Picking her up?" Chris raised a brow at his first officer. "As in a date?"
"I don't think a date as such," Buck quickly clarified his words for Chris. "You know Vin. He wouldn't have any idea what date is let alone go on one. He's still a kid by Vulcan standards which is probably the reason why he gets on well with Alex. She knows he's too young to hit on her."
"Not exactly," Chris pointed out. "We're not sure how old he is. By human standards, he's a little older than Alex and we're not entirely sure how he is by Vulcan standards, except that he's younger than most. Its his manner that makes us think he's a kid."
"You're probably right," Buck shrugged. "Pity though, that's a fine woman going to waste."
Chris shook his head. "I'd give it up if I were you." The captain said with a smile. "You have a better chance turning lead into gold with your bare hands than you do with Alex."
What Chris did not want to admit was that he liked seeing Alex and Vin together. They were both so wounded in their own way and yet together, they offered each other something neither had been able to find elsewhere. Even the relationship was not sexual, Chris had enough feeling for his best friend to know that Vin cared a great deal for Alex, he just did not know how to express it in a physical way yet.
As that thought crossed his mind however, he saw Vin and Alex making an entry and those who noticed them, in particular Alex, had reason to pause. In their uniforms, it was so easy for the women of the Maverick to go about unnoticed but as he had realised when he had first seen Mary tonight, it was more than a pleasant surprise when they caught the opposite sex's attention. In his mind, Mary was still the most beautiful woman here but Alex did make a breath or two catch, he noticed, by the look of every man in the place. Chris did not doubt that there were more than a few that were dying to be in Vin's place at the moment when the third officer walked into the holo-deck at the helmsman's arm.
"Like I said," Buck said with a sigh as he stared at Alex with longing. "A waste of a fine woman."
Chris shook his head slowly and decided that Buck was never going to change. "You're a lost cause." Chris retorted and decided to go find Mary. After all, he did owe her that dance.
"My goodness," Ezra Standish exclaimed as he and Julia stepped off the little space of floor that had been sequestered for those who wished to dance and approached Vin and Alex who were heading towards the bar. "Is that our third officer in that charming little frock?"
"Don't make me hurt you." Alex growled, feeling uncomfortable enough as it is when she caught sight of some of the stares she had been getting from the men in the room.
"You look sensational," Julia commended and nudge Ezra in the ribs to shut up, knowing that this was a big step for Alex who normally gave such events as wide berth. "That dress is really something."
"I look sensational?" Alex scoffed when she regarded the velvet red dress that Julia was wearing that seemed to accentuate every tight curve in her petite body and seemed to stand out against her red hair. "You look pretty good yourself." She remarked.
"Yes," Ezra had to agree as he gave Julia an appreciative look. "There are no words to describe the completeness of your astounding beauty." The security chief was wearing the garb of a proper southern gentlemen from the burgundy colored coat to the vest and crisp white shirt. He looked exactly like a gambler might appear in the Old West. Ezra took her hand and began to smother soft kisses on her wrist. "I am quite beside myself." He teased as Julia rubbed her brow, shaking her head.
"Want to trade?" Julia asked Alex with a mischievous smile.
"Nice try," Alex grinned, flashing a smile at Vin. "I'm afraid you're stuck with him."
"I take umbrage at that remark," Ezra replied with mock hurt. "Now I am forced to imbibe in order to salve my wounded ego. Mr Tanner, would you care to join me?"
"Would a drink shut you up?" Vin asked with as much humor in his voice as was being bandied about the group at the moment.
"You can only hope." Ezra grinned before turning to the two ladies and finding out what they wanted to drink. In a few second, he and Vin was heading towards the bar, leaving Alex and Julia to their own devices for the moment.
Once they were far enough away, Ezra turned to Vin and remarked. "Mr Tanner, you are the envy of almost every man in this place."
Vin looked at the man blankly, unable to fathom why that might be. "You're kidding me right? Why?" He asked, genuinely perplexed.
Ezra stared at Vin for a moment, wondering if the Vulcan was joking with him and then realising that it was not and of course, why would he have the slightest concept about what Ezra was talking about? His relationship with Alexandra Styles was purely platonic. He did not know that there were officers who whispered behind her back and called her the Ice Queen. Although, now that Ezra thought about it, if Vin did know, he was most likely to rip the person's head off who made the unfortunate remark.
"I apologise Vin," Ezra replied quickly. "I assumed you see her the way most men on the Maverick see her."
Vin looked over his shoulder at that statement and wondered what Ezra meant by that. He saw her as his friend, the one person who had the unerring ability to make him feel good about himself, who made no judgements, who liked being with him, who touched him on occasion and did not react as if she were making contact with a freak. He knew that more than any person on the ship, save for Chris Larabee, Vin did not want to lose her. When she was with him, he felt warm inside and a security he had not known since those sun filled days with his foster parents enveloped him like a warm blanket.
However, Ezra's statement had just reminded him about how human might view Alex, particularly human males. He knew enough about them to know that they probably did not see Alex the way he did and their reaction might be closer to his own behaviour a short time ago, when he had first seen her in that dress. Something tugged inside him, surfaced out of nowhere before meeting the glass wall of Vulcan physiology that allowed him to feel nothing else. It angered him a little.
"I'm not stupid Ezra," he found himself saying. "I know she's pretty."
Vin's description brought a smile to Ezra's face. "I know you are not Vin," he said gently. "I simply meant that you are a fortunate that she has chosen you to base her affections. There is not a man on this ship that would not want to be in your place at this moment."
"I like looking at her too." Vin confessed. "Only she's not like me. I'm not ready for a lot of things," Vin continued to speak and Ezra nodded just enough to know what he meant by that. "But she must be because of her age and sometimes it frightens me that she won't care about me any more when she finds someone who is ready to be what she needs."
"I would not worry yourself about that," Ezra spoke softly. If even half of what he knew about Cardassian interrogation techniques were true in regards to how they dealt with female prisoners, he was not surprised that Alex was drawn to Vin as she was. He was probably the one male on the ship who could given her the friendship she desired without expecting more than what she was capable of giving in return. "I do not think it is a need that Alexandra requires from you to fill, I think she merely enjoys your company as do the rest of us." Ezra patted Vin gently on the back.
"Thanks Ezra," Vin smiled, feeling a little better because he had noticed the looks Alex had garnered when she walked into the room with him and he worried that she might be offended that he did not view her with the same desire. He cared for her, was fascinated by everything she was and knew that if she were not in his life, he would not be able to stand the loss but he did not desire her the way men were meant to desire women.
"Vin," Ezra took the opportunity to bring up another subject that had been bothering him the most of today on the bridge following the captain's priority one transmission from Starfleet. "Have you noticed anything odd in the behavior of the captain and Commander Wilmington?
Vin fell silent for a moment and considered the question. He had to admit, he had noticed something strange following the captain's emergence from the Ready Room following the receipt of that transmission from Starfleet this morning. He could sense Chris Larabee almost as well as he could sense Alex. Mary said that it was due to the emotional bond he shared with the both which allowed him to have some insight into their feelings. Fortunately, thanks to the protocol officer's lessons, he could only sense their emotions and not direct thought.
"A little." Vin admitted. "Chris' seems a lot more tense. Buck too."
"That is the same conclusion I reached." Ezra let out a sigh. "I make it a habit to know what the other man is thinking during my dabblings in games of chance and I am usually able to sense whether or not there is a make or break atmosphere in the competition. Thus it is most disturbing for me to say that I note the same kind of pressure on the captain and first officer as those instances."
"You think something is up?" Vin asked, sounding nothing like the unsure young man of a few minutes and very much like the Starfleet lieutenant he was, not to mention the Officer of the Con.
"Let us say I have a bad feeling about this." Ezra replied and knew that he was seldom wrong about such things. Sometimes, he really hated being reminded that his mother was right, that he did indeed have a god given talent to spot such things.
Maude right. Now Ezra knew he really was in trouble.
The atmosphere in the Conference Room the morning after the party was decidedly different from that which it had been during the gathering on the holo-deck. Although most of them had seen Nathan about getting something for their aching heads thanks to the unpleasant side effect of imbibing real alcohol as opposed to synthehol, the mood was tense because the captain appeared that way. Chris sat at the head of the long table, allowing his gaze to move across the men and women he considered more than just subordinates but close personal friends. Even though it had been little under three months since they had began serving together, Chris could not deny how quickly it took for this group of separates to become a team. A word he seldom used when describing the group dynamic surfaced in his mind as he regarded them from this vantage point and that word was family.
When everyone was finally settled in and staring his way to begin, Chris cleared his throat and exchanged a brief glimpse with Buck before he assumed the persona of captain once more and began revealing to his crew what he had learnt yesterday during his transmission from Starfleet Command. No doubt, some were curious and others like Vin and Ezra who were looking at him as if they were perfectly aware that he was far more tense than usual, had some idea that the news was not good.
Well in this instance, their instincts were correct.
"As some of you know, I received a priority one transmission from Starfleet Command yesterday for captain's eyes only." Chris began.
A few glances were exchanged at that revelation, mostly between Josiah, Mary and Nathan who were not required to be on the bridge all the time and would not have been present at the time of the incoming transmission. The others were not surprised and waited in anticipation of his continuing.
"The transmission informed me that the Maverick was to set course for Deep Space Four." Chris revealed.
This too, was of no surprise to those before him because the captain had requested a course change yesterday but it seemed rather routine since they had been out in the frontier for almost a month and half. There was need to replenish supplies as well as offer some of the crew some well needed shore leave in between the usual transfers and departures that often took place at a major intersection such as Deep Space Four. However, hearing that the captain had another reason for bringing them to the station made everyone share in Ezra and Vin's insight that something was big was on the horizon, waiting revelation with each word they awaited from Chris Larabee's lips.
"Once there we will be receiving a guest, a Cardassian defector." Chris remarked and immediately glanced at Alex.
Alex flinched but made no reaction. As a Starfleet officer there was no way she was going to avoid seeing a Cardassian these past three years. Although relations between the Federation and Cardassia had not been warm even before the Dominion's arrival into the Alpha quadrant, an uneasy tolerance had formed which allowed her to come across a member of the race since her escape from the prison. Glancing at the others, she displayed a mask of cool indifference at the captain's news, wanting them to know that she was fine. It was no secret to anyone who wanted to pull her service record that she had been incarcerated in a Cardassian prison. While she was not happy about that knowledge being a matter of public record, it only stated that she was a prisoner and nothing else.
The details of that private hell were still hers and hers alone.
It was mostly concern she saw in the eyes of the others, in particular Vin who was very worried about how she was going to take being near a Cardassian. He need not have worried and she intended to show them all that she was not be reduced to hysterics at the first sign of the race which spawned the men who had.... who had kept her captive.
"No doubt someone who probably did not agree with the present Cardassian-Dominion alliance," she said coolly, giving them all a clear indication that she was completely all right with this news.
A silent sigh of relief followed at that response and Chris nodded slightly, not simply in agreement with her statement but also in approval of how she was comporting herself following that bit of information regarding the mission ahead. Secured in the belief that she was more than capable of handling herself around a Cardassian, Chris continued once again. "At this time, we have no details on his identity yet, since Starfleet is considering this highly sensitive information. However, the defector who is placed at the command headquarters of the present regime, claims that approximately three days ago, he received a communication that places a planet in this sector of space having White."
The reaction around the room was almost instantaneous.
"Good Lord." Ezra let out a gasp. "Are we absolutely certain on this?"
"We're certain of nothing." Buck volunteered. "All we know for sure is that the Dominion believes it."
"So they're coming." Vin stated guessing the danger that all this discussion was leading to. His exclamation made everyone fall silent as they looked to Chris for confirmation of that terrible possibility.
As much as Chris would like to deny it, he could not. Vin was dead right. "Yes, they're coming and at this time we have no ETA on that, except that the Maverick is going to have to find this planet first because the Dominion know only that its out here, not where."
"Captain," Alex let out a worried sigh. "There's a lot of space out there to search. Does this Cardassian know where about in this area this planet or system might be?"
"Not really," Chris answered honestly and saw Alex stiffening because that meant she would have to start searching through every system they've charted in the last three months and hopefully discover what they were looking for."
"If they don't know where this planet is," Mary spoke up. "Isn't it rather risky for them to launch a strike?" She inquired, just aware of the current situation that existed between the Dominion and the Alpha quadrant. "This is some distance from the Bajoran wormhole, not to mention Cardassian space."
Chris nodded slowly. "A month ago, the Romulan warbird Tasmeen engaged two Jem Haddar and Cardassian warships. The Jem Haddar smuggled a shape shifter on board the warbird during the battle when the shields were down. When it looked like the enemy was going to win, the shape shifter killed the Romulan commander before he could set off the auto-destruct."
"They've got their hands on Warbird!" Julia cried out aghast.
"Apparently so." Chris met the Engineer's gaze. "Starfleet believes they're already attempting to outfit their ships with a cloak."
"Terrific." Vin exclaimed. "Not only are they coming after us, we may not see them until its too late and under cloak, they'll be able to search the sector without us being any wiser."
"That's right." Chris replied, unable to deny Vin's grim forecast of things. "Suffice to say, we have a situation on our hands."
"I don't understand," Josiah spoke up for the first time. "What is this White?"
As a psychiatrist, Josiah could be forgiven for not knowing what they were talking about. He had been listening to the discussions, understanding the danger but not understanding why.
"Tetracel White is a narcotic drug." Nathan explained for the Counselor's benefit. "The Jem Haddar are genetically engineered warriors created by the Founders, the shape shifters who are in charge of the Dominion. Since the Founders needed to control them, they were created with a natural addiction to the substance called Tetracel White. Without it, they will go into withdrawal but not without taking trying to kill anyone around them first. Without the White, they are not too discriminating on who they slaughter."
"Photon torpedoes." Alex said suddenly. "That's how we see them."
"What?" Chris looked at her sharply. "What did you say?"
"A high yield photon torpedo at Level 6 detonation." She repeated herself.
"But at Level 6..." Ezra started to say when Julia interrupted.
"Enterprise D and the Romulan blockade during the Duras War?" Vin looked at the science officer for confirmation.
"Yes," Alex nodded at the helmsman with a smile. "If they're adapting Romulan cloaking technology for their ships, then they must have the same weaknesses." She pointed out.
"I remember this," Chris realised what she was talking about now. "Enterprise D discovered the influence of Romulan agents in the Klingon Civil War. As you know the Klingons consider Romulans blood enemies and when they discovered that one faction had Romulan allies, that more or less ended the civil war and established the current government on Kronos. If I remember correctly, Picard instigated a blockade at the Neurtral Zone to ensure that no shipment of armaments were being delivered to the Duras faction by Romulans."
"That's right," Julia recalled the data she had read. "One of the ships in the blockade released a high yield photon torpedo at Level 6."
"But Level 6 won't even penetrate a warbird's shields." JD protested.
"No," Ezra agreed. "But the purpose is not to penetrate the shields merely to create enough of a power surge to effect the shields in other ways, for example overloading the cloak so substantially that they will become visible."
"Well," Chris said with a smile, always feeling a great deal of pride whenever he saw his officers' brain storming like this. They were at their best when things were at their worst and moment like this allowed them to shine like nothing else. "Julia, I want you to start modifying our torpedoes for high yield detonation at Level 6. If need be, I want to cover as wide an area as possible when we deploy them. We don't know how many ships the Jem Haddar will be sending after us so I don't want to be flying blind."
"I'll get started on them immediately." The Chief Engineer nodded.
Ever since he had received this information, Chris had been working hard trying to decide how his ship would face this threat and upon doing so had come up with a preliminary set of instructions for everyone to get started. "Mary," he turned to the protocol officer with no hint in his voice that she meant more to him personally. "I want you to start pouring over the books on protocol. If we find this place first, we're going to have to negotiate some kind of treaty. If this planet is pre-warp, we're going to have to find some way to work around the Prime Directive."
"The Prime Directive cannot be worked around Chris." Mary said automatically.
"Then you're going to have to be doubly creative because I can guarantee you, its not going to stop the Dominion from invading there and for all our sakes, we need to get to the planet first."
Mary let out a sigh, troubled by just how complicated this was going to get. "I'll do what I can." She answered after a moment and meant it because she was not going to let policy decide all their futures if she could not figure some way to bend the rules without breaking it.
"Nathan," Chris turned around. "If we go into battle with the Jem Haddar, I want random blood tests carried out after the engagement, especially if our shields go down for any reason."
"Is that really necessary?" Nathan asked even though he knew that it probably was if Chris wanted it so."
"Yes it is," Chris met all their gazes. "We're not letting a shape shifter loose on the Maverick because if the time comes and we find ourselves in the same situation as the captain of the Tasmeem, nobody is taking my ship as a trophy." He said with a deadly edge to his voice.
"Alex, stellar cartography is one of the departments that report to you," Chris turned to the science officer. "We need to find this planet before the Jem Haddar and Cardassian alliance."
"Well we've charted a bit of new territory since the beginning of our mission here," Alex said neutrally. "We'll start going through our data with fine tooth comb and see if we can't track down a planet or a spacial body exhibiting surface scans consistent with Tetracel White. We have no idea how reliable the defector's information is so I would rather not confine our search to just a planet. I realise it takes more time but our success rate will be higher with those parameters."
"Agreed," Buck nodded. "We have no idea how the defector has come by his information we can't assume too much. Information has a tendency to change with the telling."
"Okay," the captain agreed with that assessment from both senior officers. "Get started right away Alex."
"Aye Sir," she answered as Chris turned his attention to Josiah and prepared to bring up a very unpleasant subject but nonetheless one he had to bring forward to the table in light of the threat and the odds they were facing.
"Josiah," the captain raised his eyes to meet that of the Counselor's, " I want you to talk to every crewmen on board with family beginning today. Discuss with them the possibility of disembarking for a time while we are Deep Space 4. Chances are we'll be going to battle against an overwhelming enemy. We have reinforcements poised to join us but they're some time away. Until those starships get here, we are all that stands between the Dominion getting themselves a new supply of White."
"I would concur with the captain on this Counselor," Ezra added his voice to support Chris on this decision. As security chief, he was going to have enough difficulty defending the ship against a fleet of Jem Haddar and Cardassian warships without worrying about the civilians on board. If that burden could be eased in any way, Ezra was all for it. "If it comes to a fight, I would rather that children be elsewhere. We have no idea what is the Dominion policy towards civilians captured as prisoners of war and I would rather we not find out."
"It has been found that the Dominion has adopted Cardassian policy to prisoners of war except in very specific circumstances." Alex found herself entering the conversation even though she did not wish to speak on this particular subject. Unfortunately, she had no choice. Alex would not see anyone go through the nightmare of becoming a prisoner in Cardassian jail. Mary, Julia, even Casey meant too much to her for Alex to remain silent about what could happen to them. Besides, Josiah had to understand and he to make others understand what it was they were facing by remaining.
"Cardassians do not adhere to the rules of the Khitomer Accord in relation to the treatment of prisoners of war. If they have civilians in their custody they will treat them in the same manner as Starfleet officers," She forced herself to speak and found herself trembling slightly until she felt Vin's hand under the table take her hand in a show of support. Alex offered him little smile as she paused to regain her composure. "The Cardassians have a different policy regarding gender in relation to their interrogation techniques. They are not concerned with the age difference of their prisoners only the gender. So if a Cardassian captures a little girl, she will be treated in same way as a female Starfleet officer. The purpose is not only to interrogate and extract information but also to demoralize the enemy."
She paused a moment and knew she had to say it no matter how offensive it was to her, no matter much the exposure was terrifying but they simply had to know what was at risk. "They have," she swallowed as he courage failed her momentarily.
"Alex its alright," Vin said immediately, deciding enough was enough. "You don't have to...."
"Rape camps." The word escaped her like a strained gasp. "Cardassians have rape camps for female prisoners of war."
The room went deadly silent and no one could say a word.
"There are precedents," she continued, looking at no one as she spoke. "During the Slavic War of Earth in the 20th century, the country called Yugoslavia was broken up into several ethnic groups. The Serbian faction had a policy of breeding out the enemy and so when women were captured, they were kept in such places and repeatedly assaulted until they were pregnant or killed themselves, which ever came first."
"Jesus Christ." Buck Wilmington whispered in a hoarse exclamation.
Chris felt his jaw tighten and realised this was what Alex had never been able to tell anyone until now. It was always assumed that she had been tortured like all the other Starfleet officers who had fallen into the custody of Cardassian forces. They spoke of atrocities but they had all been men and the women seldom spoke at all. Until now, Chris had never known why. As he heard her speak and saw the dark wells of her eyes unable to see anything else in face of that tremendous revelation, he realised there was only one thing more terrifying to her than what had happened and that was letting it happen again.
And being just as powerless to stop it.
Chris had read Alex's psyche reports and thus about the nightmares, about her near catatonic state when she had been recovered by Pakled freighter in that Cardassian escape pod. There was other information sealed away from him by Alex herself, information that was guarded under the Privacy Act since nothing contained had to do with her service as an officer. He looked silently at Josiah and saw the normally serene features of the Counselor hard like duranium. Chris knew the look very well and though it was rare, it was nonetheless unmistakable. Josiah was barely able to conceal his outrage.
On Mary, he saw her eyes glistening with sympathy and shock. It was rare that she was so shaken. Life on Vulcan had allowed her to be controlled with her emotions but the expression on her face was a thousand kinds of astonishment mixed with disgust and stomach turning horror. Her hand was partially covering her mouth and he offered her a silent reassurance that he would die first before allowing such a fate to befall her
Nathan was staring at Alex, as if some great mystery had been solved and among the satisfaction of his questions was an expression of understanding for the science officer. Chris could appreciate that, aware that Alex had been making use of quite a number of dream suppressants and Nathan had recommended that eventually she would have to get counseling. Chris had ignored the request because he knew Alex would never agree to it and he was of the belief that a person had a right to deal with the demons on their own. Lord knows a Counselor would have done him little good after he had lost Adam and Sarah.
Buck could not say anything but the fists clenched on the table told Chris plenty. Ezra kept looking at Julia and for once that poker face was nowhere to be seen as his worry for Julia became apparent for all to see. JD was merely shocked, unable to believe that civilised races conducted themselves so appallingly. Julia was just as shaken as Mary but she was trying hard to control her fear.
And there was Vin.
The helmsman said nothing and would not because his thoughts were private and only Chris could tell at the moment, how much that unflappable expression was truly hiding. Chris noticed Vin's hand intertwined with Alex's under the table and knew that was as much as he would express in this room and was glad for it. There were some things that were unspeakable and this was. Alex was looking at the table in front of her, unable to face anyone and Chris felt a wealth of admiration for her knowing that she had brought this forward because they needed to know despite the personal difficulty.
"I trust you will make our position clear to the civilians, Josiah." Chris finally broke the silence.
"You can count on it." Josiah nodded.
To the others, Chris had one thing to say. "We'll blow the ship first before we allow anyoneto be taken."
Because for the first time, Chris had just discovered that there were things far worse than death.
And this was it.
Alex was the first one out the Briefing Room when the meeting was over. She had to get out of the room because suddenly, she felt its wall closing in on her and she could not breathe. She wished she could be in the fresh open air to catch her breathe but since they were presently travelling through the stars, it was more or less a foregone conclusion that the vacuum of space would not provide what she needed. She became aware of footsteps following her and did not look behind her to know that it was Vin. No doubt, he was filled with questions and while she had appreciated how he had been so supportive during the briefing, she had no intention of being interrogated.
Speaking about it was bad enough. It was perhaps the first time in almost three years that she had been able to refer to the subject with another human being, let alone a room full of people. If truth was known, she cared for the crew of the Maverick more than any other she had ever served with. Each of them in their own way meant too much to Alex for her to allow them to continue with the ignorance that death was the worst that could happen to them when they faced the Dominion and by extension their Alpha Quadrant allies, the Cardassians.
As soon as the meeting was over, she had practically run out of the room, not wishing to have any more reason to discussion what had been the most horrific experience of her life. She had spoken about it enough for today and wanted to disappear into her quarters and sit in the dark for a few hours, so she could finally stop this heart inside her chest from pounding with its rhythm of panic. Of course while the others were smart enough to allow Alex her privacy, Vin Tanner was completely different matter.
She knew he wanted to help and a small part of her wanted to let him. However to be of any comfort to her, Vin would have to know the truth in all its entirety and that was something Alex could not bring herself to tell anyone, especially him. The very idea of Vin knowing what had happened in that Cardassian prison was so horrifying that she almost doubled over and retched at the shame of it. There was only other time she had been so unbelievably frightened of the truth reaching another's ears had been when her father had come to see her in that hospital and asked her to confide in him. It had a lot to do with why she had not been able to face him since that day.
"Alex! Wait up." Vin's lazy voice sliced through her frantic thoughts.
"Leave alone me Vin." She warned as she continued up the corridor in long forceful strides, meaning it when she had asked him to leave her alone. She did not want to hear comforting words that said it will be all right, that time would heal all wounds. It had been three years and she still found herself hiding under her bed when the nightmares became so bad she could not distinguish between reality and the past that haunted her at every waking moment.
"Alex," he grabbed her arm in an effort to stop her from running. She never had to run from him, ever. He had once felt the anguish inside her soul and had not understood what could be the reason for such deep abiding pain. Even though the meld had been unintentional, Vin had not regretted their mental joining because even though her soul was filled with pain, it was still her soul and it warmed him inside just being able touch in with his own. "You're all twisted inside, you need to talk about it."
"No!" She pulled her arm away and whirled around, glaring at him with a look in her eyes that bordered on manic. "You listen to me. I do not have to talk about anything! Do you understand? Nothing! You cannot have even the slightest concept of what it was like. They took everything inside of me that was good and pure and covered it with their filthy. I will not relive that nightmare by talking to you, to a Counselor or anyone else!"
Vin did not know what to do. It was clear that she did not want his help but he felt torn between his feelings for her and her right to privacy. "You don't have to talk about it." He stammered in response, not as sure about this as he was a moment ago when he had decided to come after her even though the rest of the bridge crew had the sense to give the science officer a wide berth. In truth, they were just as shaken to hear what fate might befall the female members of the crew if they were unable to stop the Jem Haddar or worse yet fell captive to them during the conflict. "I just thought...."
"I know what you thought," she cut him off savagely, seeing the sympathy in his eyes and hating him so much for feeling that. He knew! Without her even saying it, no matter how vague she had been, Alex knew with despair that he knew! It made her angry and tears threatened to escape her eyes when she turned that rage outward and vented it in an effort to salvage her dignity. "I said what I had to in there because the others have to know but I'll tell you right now, if we find ourselves in the same situation, if I for one minute think the Cardassians are going to take me alive, I will kill myself first you hear me? I will never go through that again. I would rather die first." With that, she turned on her heels and continued walking.
This time, Vin had the sense to let her go.
The officer of the con found himself seated in the observation deck a short time later, nursing a hot cup of chocolate and staring out at the stars, hoping that perhaps the sight of all that beauty might give him some answers. Why would she not his help? They could always talk about everything. When he had first come aboard the Maverick and was terrified about being on a ship with almost a thousand people, it was Alex that had helped him to overcome his natural shyness. She had done so being his friend first and then evolving the warmth she projected into his life as more than just that.
Her service record was available on the ship's records and Vin had investigated enough into her background without being invasive to know that Alex had suffered some terrible ordeal at the hands of the Cardassians but until the Briefing Room, he had never imagined just how horrible that could be. He supposed it was an alien thought to him, forcing a woman just to feel some physical pleasure. As a Vulcan whose sexuality had yet to emerge, he had never experienced naked lust to be able to understand how it could steal the sense from any being so radically that they could not tell what was right or wrong.
Yet the Cardassians had done it to Alex. They had forced her and destroyed the person she was by their touch. .
With a hint of guilt, Vin could not deny that he had entertained the same thoughts. He had often wanted to touch her but not if she did not wish it of course. He closed his eyes and imagined what it would be like to be able to touch her, to feel the luster of her smooth skin under his hands, to feel her soft breath close to his ear. When she had kissed him during that incident with Charlotte, he had been unable to see why human males found the act so arousing but he had remembered how Alex smelt. The lingering perfume of her skin had followed him around all day, like invisible companion sitting on his shoulder. Her lips had been soft and delicate, reminding him of the petals of a flower. He wanted to run his fingertips over them, to feel the silky texture and basked in everything that was she.
When she had been yelling at him, he was at a loss to explain why the emotions he sensed from her seemed to burn hotter at the notion of his awareness of her situation. Why did she take it so personally that he knew? Vin had thought that it would be easier that way, at least then she would not have to bear the horror of telling him when he already understood. But it had not happened that way; she was that he had bridged the gulf of her despair, if anything it had made her angrier. Vin was at a loss to understand it.
"You okay?" Buck Wilmington's voice suddenly announced the first officer's presence.
"I'm fine." Vin looked up at the taller man who approached him casually and took the seat across him a moment later. Vin felt a pang of disappointment when he remembered that was where Alex usually sat when they were up here.
"You look it." Buck responded with total disbelief in his voice and just as much of the emotion in his face. "Someone reported hearing Alex screaming her head off a while ago on Deck 4 and as near as I can figure it, the only person brave enough, not to mention stupid enough, to not leave her alone after what we heard during the briefing, would be you."
Vin stiffened in annoyance at Buck's accurate depiction of events especially when the man was right and decided he might as well forego the bother of denying any of it. "She told me to butt out in no uncertain terms." The younger man sighed.
"Well I'm not surprised." Buck said gently, seeing no need to bait Vin any more when he was genuinely hurting inside. "You grab a tiger by the tail, you are going to get bit."
"I don't understand," he looked at the older man, hoping the first officer might have an answer. "I don't care what happened to her with the Cardassians. I just wanted her to know that I want to help her."
"Vin," Buck let out a sigh. "On this ship, there is no one that Alex's cares about more than you. You're the one person she lets in as far anyone can get in. She cares about the ship and about the rest of us but its you whose got the keys to her heart, we all know it. Just like we know that Chris sees Mary as more than just a protocol officer. It's a special thing to have in your hands. A man waits a lifetime for a woman like this to come along. One who just looks at you and couldn't care less who you had been or even what you are, just that to her you'll always be special."
Vin considered Buck's words and knew that he was right. Alex did make feel that way all the time. From the moment he had come aboard the Maverick, she had made those first few days tolerable when all he wanted to do was hide from everyone. Alex had convinced him that being who he was should matter to no one but himself and to hell with those who had an opinion on something that was none of their business anyway.
"Then why won't she talk to me?" Vin demanded, frustration showing clearly in his face as he tried to understand. "If she cares so much about me, why won't she let me help her?"
It was so easy to forget that even though he was a thirty-year-old man, Vin was really much younger. The differences between Vulcan and human physiology saw to that. His contact with women was limited because of his early days trapped on that forgotten planet with only the people who adopted him as their own for company. He spent the better part of his life robbed of the experiences that should have made him capable of dealing with humans and now more than ever it showed.
"Someday Vin, there will come a time between you two when you too aren't just friends any more." Buck said gingerly, not wishing to be too blunt but Vin had to know what Alex was probably thinking in order to keep the Vulcan from doing something that really hurt their relationship by his misplaced desire to help. "When I said you get the key to a woman's heart and she looks at you thinking that there ain't nothing you could to make her think badly about you, it goes the other way. There are assholes out there who can't help wondering if a woman did not somehow deserve what happened to her and I think Alex is afraid that you might think that way if she talked to you about it."
"That's ridiculous." Vin said immediately. "I could never think that. As it is, I feel going out and kicking the crap out of the next Cardassian I see."
"In that case, you will not be on the bridge when our 'guest' arrives." Buck said with a little smile.
"You know what I mean." Vin frowned.
"I do," Buck responded with a gesture of apology. "Can't say I blame you. When I heard what she told us, I was just as mad as hell."
In fact, what Buck did not mention but was almost damned sure of without having to hear the other says it, that the other men in the room were similarly infuriated. No who ever loved a woman could listen to that report without feeling some measure of outrage. True, they were all soldiers in the strictest sense of the word, once you got past the uniform and the shiny hardware around which they were surrounded and as soldiers, each of them knew there were rules to warfare. The Klingons followed it, the Romulans followed it, hell even the Gorn followed it but the Cardassians had proven from the moment they annexed the spiritual world of Bajor that they cared little for the conventions of other civilisations and allowed barbarism to rule the day.
As brutal as the Klingons were, they respected the enemy as warriors in the field and while the Romulans would extract information in whatever necessary should fall into their hands, there were certain lines that they did not cross for they were a graceful and elegant race in all things. After what he had heard today, Buck doubted he would ever view the Cardassians in quite the same way again.
"So what do I do?" Vin asked.
"Nothing." The older man said calmly. "Don't do anything. There are some things that a person has to accept and this is one of them. Alex is the only one who can decide how this is gonna go and though I know its tough for you to swallow it that's how its got to be."
Vin's frown deepened across his face, mostly because he knew the first officer was right. He could not force Alex into accepting his support and if she did not want his help then as her friend, he was going to have to respect her wishes. However even as he thought that, Vin knew that something was coming over the horizon that they could not see.
And whatever it was, Vin was sure Alex was going to be right in the middle of it.
When Josiah Sanchez asked to see Chris inside the captain's ready room, he had a feeling an ominous premonition as to what would be the nature of the meeting. Despite the fact that Josiah had valid reasons for making the request Chris was sure he was certain to make, the captain could see himself being unable to grant it when it was finally made of him. Although it was standard practice for the Counselors to have their way in such matters since by this day and age, starship captains had recognised the value of a healthy mind as well as body, Chris knew he had the power to deny the request if he so wished. No doubt, Josiah would be unimpressed with his choice but Chris had made up his mind the second he had been told by Casey that Josiah needed to see him.
Chris sat behind his desk and waited for the inevitable chime to be heard at his door, while nursing a hot cup of coffee in his hand. He had spent the last few hours in this room, staring at the stars outside the window, absorbing the beauty outside as no doubt many of his crew often did whenever they were in conflict about things. The vastness of space and its remarkable ability to make one feel like a small atom in the web of life tended to put every day concerns into perspective. After so many hours alone in this room trying to find such enlightenment, Chris had come away with no answers and more doubts as to the decision he would soon be making against all advice to the contrary.
Sooner than he would have liked, he heard Josiah at the door and let out a deep sigh before beckoning the man to enter his private sanctum. At any other time, Chris would have welcomed Josiah's presence as a break from the tedium of reports and other snippets of starship business that tended to fill the mind with trivialities. The Counselor would enter the room, often brandishing a bottle of something that was definitely not synthehol and they would drink just enough to let the tension seep out of his bones. Chris never told Josiah how much those moments meant to him. Sometimes, it was like getting back that dithering old man with all his leather books that Chris had loved so much as a child. Josiah's demeanor was so much like his father that it was uncanny.
Josiah entered the room and this time he carried no bottle, which did not bode well for the rest of the meeting.
"What can I do for you Josiah?" Chris asked as he eased further into the chair, nodding slightly at the chair in front of his desk with an invitation to the Counselor to sit.
"I think you know." Josiah remarked and planted himself in the chair, not looking forward to this any more than Chris.
"Alexandra Styles?" Chris ventured a guess.
"Alex Styles." Josiah nodded in the affirmative. "I want her taken off active duty."
Josiah did not like doing this but after what he had heard in the briefing room, he had taken the last few hours to make a quick investigation and what he had learnt was enough to make him ask for this meeting. He knew Chris would not like it. Judging by the look in the captain's eyes, Josiah was not even sure that Chris understood why he was asking but if the captain only knew what Josiah had learnt during these last hours of research, then there would be no doubt in his mind why this was important.
"Why?" Chris asked simply, unsurprised by the demand and wanted to hear Josiah's reasoning to take a fine officer from her job when it was likely the only thing that was holding her together. As someone who had been torn a part inside out once upon a time, Chris knew that the job had the power to heal the way nothing else could.
"You heard her." Josiah looked at him with shock, unable to imagine how Chris could even ask. "When that Cardassian comes aboard, it will be exposing antimatter. I rather she not be put through that kind of trauma and I would also request that she begin counseling immediately."
"She says she can handle it." Chris met his gaze. "I think she can."
"Chris," Josiah tried to remain calm, knowing that Chris cared just as much for the officers under his command as Josiah did about those who needed his help. "I know you want to give her the benefit of the doubt and it is admirable but I'm asking you, take her off active duty at least until this Cardassian is gone and this mission is over."
Chris braced himself and then answered. "No."
"May I ask why?" Josiah asked, trying to remain calm.
"She has given me no reason to suspend her from duty," Chris stated firmly before adding, "for that matter," the captain narrowed his eyes and turned a high powered stared at Josiah. "Neither have you."
Josiah stiffened in his chair and returned Chris' gaze with just as much intensity. "Chris, I am asking you to suspend her from duty. I asking you because it is my professional judgement that it unwise for her to be anywhere near this Cardassian when he comes onboard."
"Josiah, what is the problem?" Chris demanded, allowing his temper to get the better of him a little. "She said she's fine with it? Isn't it more therapeutic that we give her the benefit of the doubt instead of punishing her for being traumatized years ago, just because we're having a guest on board?"
"It's not a punishment!" Josiah returned just as sharply because he knew something that Chris did not.
"That's not how she'll see it!" Chris declared empathetically. "There are times when I look into that woman's face and know exactly how she feels. I know the hurt and the pain that wants to tear you apart inside if you allow it the power to do so. The one thing that kept me from breaking into a thousand pieces after Buck convinced me that life wasn't over when Sarah and Adam died was the job. The job kept me alive. I won't take that away from Alex."
Josiah understood what Chris was trying to say, he really did and while he admired his captain for his sympathy and moreover, his empathy towards Alexandra Styles, Josiah also knew that in this instance Chris was wrong. Absolutely wrong.
"Chris," Josiah decided he was going to have no choice but to say it. "Do you know how many female officers that were Cardassians prisoners of war, since the Border Wars?"
"No," Chris frowned, wondering if Josiah would now try to sway him by bombarding him with figures. "I don't."
"Fifty six." Josiah replied automatically. "Do you know how many of them are still alive?"
Chris looked up, suddenly having a very bad feeling about this.
Josiah did not bother to let him to venture a guess. "Including Alex, thirteen."
"Thirteen?" Chris's eyes widened. "Out of fifty three?"
"Out of fifty three," Josiah nodded slowly.
"What happened to them?" The captain asked, his voice dropping an octave lower than usual.
"In almost all cases, suicide. Starfleet had a file buried someplace no one will look because to do so would bring into question the sensibility of allowing female officers to command starships or to be placed in situations where they may fall prey to the enemy. It would put back the status of equality regarding women in combat almost four hundred years. Starfleet is aware of the problem but they can't do anything about it in the open because it will raise politically imprudent questions. I contacted Starfleet Medical and using my authority, I broke the seal on her records."
"You had no right to do that." Chris said sharply. "She has a right to her privacy."
"She was eight weeks pregnant when they took her off that Pakled freighter."
"Oh Jesus." Chris let out a soft groan of horror, feeling that news shudder through his body until it centre on his stomach and churned thickly with disgust.
"Not surprisingly," Josiah continued. "For obvious reasons, a therapeutic termination was carried out. According to the records, she was too catatonic to object. Genetic material recovered indicated that the father was almost certainly Cardassian."
Chris' jaw tightened. "Those bastards."
"The medical officer who examined her when they brought her in reported an extended period of abuse, there were indication of rape throughout the entire time she was held captive." Josiah paused a moment, composing himself as his own emotions started to overcome him. "Almost as recent as a week before the Pakled found her floating in that escape pod. There were all kinds of internal damage both vaginal and rectal, broken bones, internal bleeding, cracked ribs. Apparently Cardassians had a very good time at the expense of our science officer."
"How can anyone find something like that pleasurable." Chris found his voice and when it escaped him it was hoarse with horror.
"Well they do it a lot," Josiah replied, unable to imagine it himself. "Almost all the female officers who fall into Cardassian hands are found with the same injuries and deep trauma. Some recover but the damage is burnt into them and its even worse when the woman is career. The Cardassians apparently get off on breaking high ranking officers." He said bitterly. "Most never come out of the catatonia and usually suicide early on after rescue. Others try to go back to their lives, struggle to forget. Most can't face facing duty in the front lines again and op for safe planets side postings."
"But Alex...."
"Alex is your exception." The counselor replied. "She asked for the posting to the Maverick. Counselors who attempted to treat her back then says it has something to do with her Klingon upbringing. You know how they can be, even their women."
Chris had to agree with Josiah there. Klingons were a race that accepted suffering and adversity as a challenge to be faced as warriors, no matter how demeaning the situation. There was glory to be had as long as once faced the trial as a true warrior of the field. Chris knew that Alex had practically been raised Klingon when her father had been attached to the Federation Embassy on Kronos for most of her childhood. If Alex lived her live according to that simple philosophy, then Chris could understand why she was here on the frontier, where anything could happen.
In understanding, he also knew something else. "I won't relieve her of duty." He stated after a long pause, much to Josiah's obvious astonishment.
"After what I just told you, why?" Josiah demanded almost angry but telling himself repeatedly that Chris did not make such decisions lightly.
"You said it yourself," Chris replied, sincerely believing that he was right. "Alex is the exception. She is out here because she would rather face the fear then let it take her. I admire that and I believe that is what has kept her alive and in the trenches. We start protecting her now and we harm her because we will never allow her to believe that she can be safe again on her own."
"That's taking a hell of a gamble," Josiah countered, seeing the merit in Chris' words but not at all liking the cost if the captain wrong. "And it's one I will not support. I am placing an official request to have her relieved off duty on the grounds of mental incapacity." He made that statement and rose to his feet.
Chris stood up to meet the challenge head on. "And I am officially denying it. She's stays on duty until she gives me a reason to say otherwise."
Josiah let out a heavy sigh, unable to believe that it had come to this but it had and now the die was cast. "For your sake as well as hers, I hope you are right Chris because if you are wrong, we'll lose her like we lost the others."
Despite Josiah's premonition that nothing good would come of Alex remaining on duty, the next two days seemed to pass relatively without incident. The Maverick continued its journey to Deep Space Four in order to take on their Cardassian guest and while the tension levels were up, as one must expect it to do on a starship during a time of crisis, it was not so overt to give particular concern. Across the starship, all departments undertook preparations in readiness for the possibility of a battle with the Jem Haddar. Engineering crews were working double shifts, reinforcing systems, running diagnostics, boosting shield and phaser strength while rationing energy use on board.
In the meantime, Ezra was running his security teams through combat simulations with Jem Haddar troops on the holodeck. He spent much of the next two days dividing his time between security and engineering, working with his team but also lending assistance to Chief Engineer Julia Pemberton as they worked steady to strengthen the ship's defenses. Josiah on the other hand, had presented Chris with a list of civilians who would be disembarking at Deep Space Five and Chris was gratified to see that many of these would be spouses with young families. Still some had opted to remain, declaring that they knew the risks when they had first agreed to settle on a starship. Chris had to admire their courage but had the faint suspicion that they really had no idea what they faced if captured.
Mary on the other hand was reading up as much as she could on Cardassian culture, storing her personal feelings aside following what they had learnt about Alex's time with them and comporting herself as a protocol officer should. Since much of the intelligence they needed to halt the Dominion advance into this sector of space would originate from the defector, they would have to give their guest every respect and Mary told herself this meant keeping the man as far away from Alex as possible. Of course there would be situations where they would cross each other's path, that was unavoidable but Mary wanted to spare Alex the resurgence of any unpleasant memories by bringing her face to face with a man from the race who had brought her such pain.
Even though Chris appreciated that Mary was protocol officer and had to remain by the side of the Cardassian for most of his time here, he could not deny that he was bothered by how closely she would have to work with the man. Particularly after knowing what he now did about how Cardassians dealt with female prisoners of war. Aware that he was going to pay for it later, Chris slipped a quiet word in Ezra's ear to never have a security detail far from Mary at any point when she was alone with the former Gul.
Alex spent most of the journey in astrometics where she and the rest of the stellar cartography team worked diligently shifting through the data they had accumulated during the time they had been out on the frontier, charting new territories. Somewhere amongst all those gigabytes of information was a planet that was capable of producing tetracel white. For the sake of the Alpha Quadrant, the Maverick had to find it before the Dominion. The science officer stayed off the bridge during this investigation and Chris saw no reason to request her presence because what she was doing in astrometics was important work. He also understood the difficulty she had in facing the fellow members of the senior staff following the revelation of her ordeal.
During their time on the holodeck together, Chris noticed that Vin seemed to be preoccupied lately and it did not take a feat of genius to know what concerned the Vulcan so much. On a starship, there were very few secrets. From the entire ship knowing that Friday night was Ezra's poker night in his quarters to the fact that Casey could play the violin and even to the point where the best linguine to be had anywhere in the sector saw its origins in Nathan Jackson's capable hands. Just like the entire ship knew that Mary Travis was the captain's girlfriend, right down to the fact that the science officer and the officer of the con were in a platonic relationship that Ezra was betting money would change the minute Vin hit sexual maturity.
Chris could understand why the Vulcan might be in a state of flux, it was no easy thing standing by and allowing a woman you cared about so deeply endure her private equivalent of hell with no idea how to help her through it. If it were Mary, Chris knew it would be no different for him. Nevertheless, Vin never allowed it to interfere with his work and strangely enough, the Vulcan did not bring it up with him in their conversation. Chris guessed because of their close friendship, Vin did not want Chris to be burdened with more than he already had as Captain. Besides, Chris had very little he could say to offer Vin any help out of his dilemma other than what the young man was doing already, which was to let Alex dictate when she would need his aid.
"We're coming into range of Deep Space Five." JD Dunne announced as the viewer screen displayed the image of the space station in the approaching space before them.
Chris looked up and took note that the station seemed in better condition than it did the last time they came this way. Over the last few months, Captain Krista had been intensifying efforts to repair all the structural damage that had been caused during the advent of the Borg invasion when the Collective had come this way. As they slowly approached the station, it appeared that Krista's efforts had been well worth the time spent for the station looked very impressive indeed. It looked a far cry from the dilapidated station they had visited during their maiden voyage to the frontier that had been inundated by Lysian refugees.
The devastation wrought by the Borg's invasion of Lysia was still apparent on the planet's surface however, the traffic that presently surrounded the station indicated that restoration efforts were well underway. Chris could see smaller vessels crisscrossing through the space around the Federation outpost, some approaching the docking rings to began embarkation while other were making their departure for parts unknown or were a part of the relief effort on Lysia.
"Captain Krista must have been putting in rotating shifts to get this kind of results." Chris commented, impressed.
"If I am to understand it Captain," Ezra Standish declared from his corner of the bridge. "The entire station has been refitted with new fortifications. I believe she has now the defensive capability similar to the refitting that was undergone by Deep Space Nine in preparation of the Dominion War."
"Makes sense," Vin commented from the helm. "They're out here in the thick of things as much as we are and they got more people to worry about. A moving target has a chance of escape at least, a space station does not."
"Agreed." The security man replied. "I have been told that the outer hull has been replaced with duranium plating making it virtually impossible for a breach and that nearly all the upper pylons have been installed with torpedo launchers. The station is meant to be carrying an arsenal of almost 5000 photon torpedoes and an impressive cache of the quantum variety as well. In other words, should the Jem Haddar come this way, they are likely to be in for an interesting reception."
"How the hell do you have that kind of information Ezra?" Chris turned around and looked at his security chief with a hint of admiration and annoyance. "The specifications on the refit of Deep Space Five is classified information. Only starships captain with command level clearance are meant to have that kind of access."
"It is amazing what can be ascertained when one holds four of a kind when playing with the engineer of the Lexington, who incidentally is rather verbal young man who let it slip most unintentionally about the materials he was bringing to the station. I simply made of it what I could." Ezra volunteered innocently and then offered his trademark-dimpled smirk, which indicated clearly that he repented nothing.
Chris shook his head in resignation and retorted. "Consider yourself a security breach commander and hail the station."
"Aye Sir," Ezra nodded.
"Now the fun begins." Buck mused softly. "Mary is on standby to transport to the station," the first officer dutifully informed the captain. "She'll be escorting our guest back to the Maverick and helping him get settled in."
Chris knew he did not have to worry about the welfare of the protocol officer especially when she would be surrounded by dozens of Starfleet personnel on the station, to say nothing of the security people that would be assigned to her the moment she returned to the ship. He did not know why he was being paranoid because this Cardassian could not possibly be held accountable for the crimes of others but he could not help it. The thought of what had happened to Alex, happening to his Mary was so odious that it made him sick to his stomach just thinking about it.
"Where's Alex?" He asked automatically.
"She's still in astrometics." Vin answered before Buck could. "I think she's still trying to find this planet. Said she'll be there for most of the day."
In truth, they all knew that she was probably trying to stay out of sight and limit her interaction with the Cardassian as much as she could. Chris was glad. After his discussion with Josiah and their adversarial positions regarding Alex's continued presence on the bridge and on duty, he did not want to be proven wrong. At the very least, Josiah would never let him forget it and at the very worst, Alex might end up killing herself like all those other poor women had chosen to do. Glancing at Vin, Chris knew he would never forgive himself if he allowed that to happen.
And he had enough deaths on his conscience to last a lifetime.
"Make sure she stays there." Chris said firmly. "I don't want any incidents."
"I'll see to it." Vin spoke up. "Hell I could use another butt kicking in the holodeck anyway."
A small titter or laughter rippled through the room and it was mostly because the tension at the moment was such that something needed to break it even for a moment. "You know its saying something that you who are a Vulcan four times stronger than any human can get periodically kicked from here to kingdom come by a woman is beyond disbelief." Buck retorted. "Not that I'm sexist or nothing."
Vin looked over his shoulder and remarked with a little smile. "Well maybe cause you ain't the only one who knows a little something about women."
Mary Travis had not gained much opportunity to visit Deep Space Five the last time they had been in the vicinity and now, it looks like things were going to shape up any better to allow her the opportunity this time around either. Not that she minded. Space stations seemed somewhat immortal no matter how much adversity in might face in the way of threats, be there invasion fleets or random spacial phenomena. Chances are she would have a chance to visit again once this present crisis was over. Did she think that the Maverick was going to survive its encounter with the Jem Haddar?
Absolutely.
If anyone could pull such a hat trick like that, Mary knew with confidence that it was Chris Larabee. It was a belief not simply engendered by the fact that she cared for the man but more from the feeling that there was something very special about the Maverick and the crew she served with. Mary could not explain the confidence she felt when being with one or more of them but there was some mysticism in being apart of the fellowship of the seven. It was illogical she told herself, remnants of that past existence still surfacing on occasion. It may be illogical but it was the truth.
Mary continued down the corridor that led to the defector's suite as directed by the ensign who had been on hand to greet her when she had stepped off the transporter pad. The Maverick's docking with Deep Space Five was fleeting. They were remaining long enough for civilians to be transported to the station and for them to take on their new passenger. Mary herself had opted to keep William with her despite Chris' advice. Although she did not want to endanger her son, she could not bring herself to leave him on the station with strangers either. Not that Chris had not tried to talk her into accepting the leave he offered so that she could be with her son.
While Mary appreciated the gesture, she was not about to hide from the risks that were expected of every person in Starfleet, even those with children. She reached the end of the corridor, passing by a few other inhabitants of this section of the habitat ring and saw the door in question. Taking a deep breath, she continued forward, reminding herself that what she had heard in the briefing room should make no difference to her. Diplomacy was the requirement of the day and it was what she was best at.
Mary paused at the door and pressed the button that would announce her arrival to the occupant of the room. She waited a moment, remembering that this man was an ally and the survival of the Federation might likely hinge on what he would be able to tell them about the eminent Jem Haddar invasion of the frontier. The door slid open and Mary soon found herself faced to face with a tall imposing Cardassian who regarded with a mixture of expectation and mild curiosity.
He was like all Cardassians, harsh looking, mostly because the human mind tended to interpret the bony protrusions of their face making them such. However he was handsome to a certain extent and wore the garb of Cardassian Gul, the equivalent of starship captain. The markings on his uniform indicated he was a Gul of the Ninth Order, second only to the Obsidian order, the dreaded secret police that ruled supreme on Cardassia Prime and was responsible for all its espionage dealings with the rest of the galaxy.
"I am Lieutenant Mary Travis, Protocol Officer to the USS Maverick," Mary introduced herself. "I am here to provide you an escort to the ship."
"Where is the Captain?" He asked abruptly, full of atypical arrogance of someone unaccustomed to being among those who was not of equal standing.
"As per Starfleet orders," Mary responded, trying not to become offended by his rudeness. "We have been told to make your embarkation onto the Maverick as low profile as possible. We would not want to draw attention to you by having a Starship Captain arriving at your door."
"How do I know that you are not a Dominion spy?" The man said pointedly.
"Likewise." Mary retorted, with a single brow raised.
The Cardassian gave her a look and then broke into a smile. "Touché' Lieutenant," he responded. "We shall proceed."
He retreated into his room and picked up a single bag that was seated on the chair. "These quarters are rather Spartan." He commented, casting a distasteful look over the small room that had been his home since his arrival on the station. "Of course I am spoiled by the luxurious standards of Cardassians station. I believe you have had a chance to sample such offerings by your acquisition of Terak Nor."
Mary did not react. "You mean Deep Space Nine." She pointed; getting a little of her own back because she knew the Cardassians hated that station to be referred to as such. Especially when they were reminded of how the Bajora had forced the Cardassians off their home world and caused them to relinquish that piece of hardware in order to establish a Federation presence there.
He glanced over her shoulder and replied just a smoothly, impressed by her ability to hold her own. "Yes. I am hoping a galaxy class starship will be able to provide better lodgings?"
"I have prepared our VIP suite for your use and programmed your replicators to provide you with Cardassian cuisine." Mary said sweetly.
"How enterprising of you." He commented. "Are you similarly talented in fulfilling any other needs I might have?" He asked taking a step closer towards her until she could feel his breath on her skin and Mary was forced to look up to meet his gaze.
She took a step back and remarked coolly, unaffected by his attempt at charm or intimidation. "Shall we proceed?"
Suddenly she had this idea that whether or not the Jem Haddar attacked, this was going to be one long mission.
After allowing Alex to beat him again, at least that's what he told himself, Vin and the science officer made their way to Four Corners to get something to drink. They had spent the last two hours on the holodeck combating simulated opponents while they attempted to take some ancient Klingon temple on Borath. It was basically a combat program that allowed Alex the opportunity to vent much of the anger that was presently churning inside her, thanks to the unceremonious confrontation with her past. The combat program was one of few that they shared together. Occasionally, she would accompany him horse riding although she did not know how to do it herself and would often spend the time nestled behind him on the saddle with her arms around him.
Vin enjoyed that a great deal because he got to keep her scent on him for the rest of the day. At the moment however, she did not appear to be suffering any of the emotional turmoil that had caused them to quarrel two days before and the status quo between them was back to normal. Although she had not guessed that he had an ulterior motive for spending holodeck time with her today, Vin knew she had genuinely enjoyed spending the time with him and was glad that her outburst had not permanently injured their relationship.
Four Corners was not busy at this time of the day and they were able to find a table right next to the pexiglass, which gave them a panoramic view of the Lysian home world and all the ships that were travelling back and forth from the station.
"I think after Borath we might go horse riding again." Alex said as she stirred the cup of hot chocolate before her.
"Okay," Vin said neutrally, hiding how pleased he was at the prospect of being close to her. What he did not know was it pleased Alex too. "Where to this time?" They usually rode through trails that took them to places with beautiful landscapes that were almost as breathtaking as what was lying in wait outside.
"I don't know," Alex shrugged. "You have a program of your ranch?" She asked after a moment of consideration.
"Yeah," Vin nodded, somewhat surprised because she had never asked about the ranch in Texas that had been left to him when his adopted parents had died. During the period after his return to Earth and prior to his enrollment at Starfleet Academy, Vin had spent some time there, mostly wishing that this parents were alive to share the experience with him. Even though he had not regretted leaving the place behind, he did miss its wide-open spaces after he left for the Academy. "I can show you the trail I used to ride everyday."
"Sounds good." Alex smiled, genuinely wanting to see it and being with Vin when she did.
Alex was in the process of taking a sip, her gaze on the space outside the glass when Vin noticed the doors to the bar opening at the far end of the room. He would not have paid attention to the new arrivals if not for the fact that one of them was Mary Travis and the other was the Cardassian defector that would be aiding them in their present situation. The Vulcan winced inwardly and had not wished Alex to face this particular hurdle so soon but events had transpired that made that impossible now and the best he could do was be there for her as she endured it.
"Alex, the Cardassian just walked in." Vin announced softly as he watched Mary show the Cardassian to the bar and introduced him to Inez.
Alex paused in mid sip and lowered her cup just enough to take a deep breath. Ever since the Captain had briefed them on the present crisis, Alex knew that this was a situation she would have to inevitably face and she had promised Chris she could be a complete professional about this. She would not embarrass her captain when he had placed so much faith on her abilities and on her word that she would behave.
"I'm fine." She assured him and turned her head towards to Mary and the Gul.
For an instant as her eyes took in the sight of him, there was no reaction. Vin thought that she was completely in control until he saw her hand shaking violently and the hot chocolate, still burning hot shuddering out of its porcelain edge without Alex noticing the heat burning into her skin. Her jaw was tightening and the grip around the cup continue to tighten until finally the pressure caused it to shatter with a loud crack as fluid emptied onto the smooth surface of the table.
"Alex, what is it?" Vin demanded, starting to have the worst damn suspicion in his entire life present itself to him at why her reaction to the man was so strong. It had never occurred to anyone of them that this possibility could exist. They had been so worried that she would vent her outrage on an innocent, that it had never occurred to them that she might be venting her rage on the guilty. God, he hoped he was wrong.
He hoped he was fucking wrong!
She left the table and strode towards the Cardassian, seeing nothing but him. Everything else being sucked into a singularity where he was the only person in her universe and all others were dispersing matter converging into the one point of utter annihilation. Alex could not breathe. He heart was pounding so loudly in her chest that she could not even begin to let her mind wrap itself around the fact that he was here, in front her after all these years where he had existed only in her nightmares. However, the closer she neared to him, the more clearer the memory returned and with it came so many other things.
Being unable to breathe. Forced on her hands and knees, brutalised one by one on his orders. All his men taking turns at her, passing her around like she was unending bottle with which they could satiate their thirst. Hearing the screams and knowing with despair they were hers. Tasting vomit after she retched the contents of her stomach until digestive juices were being ejected and there was nothing left in the wake of the ordeal except the terrible shame and humiliation. Smelling their stink on her. The clammy stickiness of their semen on her skin. Praying, always praying they would let her die every time they came to take her again and again. Begging them to stop, only they never did and the whimpers made them do it all over again, even though they knew her mind was half gone.
She didn't care if she died today, didn't care if the rest of her life ended at this moment because death was a release and she had already been to hell and it was a far worse place than the likes deemed by religious dogma. Hell was a place she had already seen and he who presided over her misery was right here.
"Lenar!" She hissed loudly.
He turned sharply to her and for a moment, he did not speak. Alex was not surprised. He probably would not remember. After all, she was just another officer, another victim. Why the hell would he keep her in his mind? She did not wait for the answer because no sooner than he had cast his gaze upon her, Alex had launched herself at him. Her weight slammed them both into the bar almost toppling the Cardassian over. He did not quite manage to fall over it because Alex's hands were on his throat keeping him in reach. Her fists went flying before he was even aware of the attack, striking him in the face repeatedly.
"Alex!" Mary grabbed her arm trying to stop her from beating the man senseless when the science officer shook of the attempt and jabbed an elbow into Mary's face, sending the protocol officer sprawling. Mary tumbled into Vin, blood gushing from a broken nose as pandemonium broke out in the saloon.
"Are you alright?" Vin asked hastily as he set Mary down and glanced frantically at Alex who was pummeling Lenar with frenzied rage behind every blow.
"I'm fine!" Stop her!" Mary shouted wiping the blood from her nose. Already fissures of broken skin began appearing on the Gul's face and the advantage Alex had acquired with the surprise of her attack had robbed him of the ability to recover enough to fight back.
Vin slid his arms around Alex's waist and physically tore her from the Cardassian. She reacted instinctively, preparing to fend him off as she had Mary, when Vin grabbed her arm and held it there as Alex continued to struggle. "Alex stop it!" Vin shouted trying to make her see reason. No sooner than Alex had been safely extricated from Lenar, Mary hurried to the Cardassian who was bleeding quite profusely.
"Nathan, I need someone down in Four Corners immediately," Mary declared, tapping her com badge. Around them, everyone was staring at the incident in shock, not knowing that to think. Mary could see the doors of the bar opening with Ezra and a team of security officers making their entrance after surveying the scene and discovering what was wrong.
"Let me go!" Alex screamed. "You don't understand. You don't know!" She fought Vin hard with every once strength in her body even though she knew she had no chance of breaking free once he had her. He was four times stronger than she was and had more than enough strength to tear her away from her victim and keep her restrained indefinitely. "Let me go!" She demanded.
"Alex, enough." Vin said firmly, feeling his heart ache at having to do this but she had to stop.
"No!" She stared at him wide eyed and breathing hard. "You don't know who he is! You don't what he did!" She looked at Vin, tears running down her cheeks as horror of it swelled up from the bottom of some dark place within and swallowed her whole. "You can't possibly know."
"I know Alex," he said gently and pulled her to him as she started to break down and sob. Alex resisted for only a moment before she succumbed to his arms and buried herself in the crook of his shoulder, weeping openly, not caring who saw.
Stroking her hair, he whispered in her ear. "I know."