Standard Disclaimer: All characters and situations related to Star Trek are wholly owned by Paramount Pictures. All the characters from the "Magnificent Seven" TV series are property of Trilogy Entertainment, The Mirisch Group, MGM Worldwide.
Well it was done.
His news on his stance that his helm officer was incapable of taking part in the mission to Riga 3 had not impressed Starfleet. Unfortunately, they were aware of what Pon Farr was and the terrible risks they faced by including a member of the ground team who could at any moment, become a powder keg that would not only endanger himself and his fellow officers but the mission as well. A compromise had been reached; Alexandra Styles would go but it would be Ezra Standish would accompany her. Although Chris did not like the idea of losing his security officer while they were in enemy space, he knew Ezra had other officers who were capable of filling his role for the duration of the mission. Chris had also taken out a little added insurance should they actually run into a Romulan warbird.
Now all that left for him to do was to tell Vin.
The Maverick was a few hours away from Deep Space Four and no doubt the special attaché would be informed of the situation prior to his arrival. This was one of those times when Chris questioned the wisdom of having a close friend under his command, particularly when Chris had to tell him such news. He knew without any foresight or prescience that Vin would not take his removal from the mission well, especially in fear of something that might not happen. However, as captain, Chris could not afford to take the risk of inserting Vin into an Away team mission where he might end up being more of a danger to them then the Romulans that they were attempting to infiltrate.
When he heard the chime at his door, he knew that it was not Vin Tanner. Chris had not struck up the nerve for that meeting just yet. He knew he was delaying the inevitable but he was in no particular rush to face his friend's wrath, captain or not. Instead, when he beseeched his visitor to enter, it was Ezra Standish that walked into the captain's ready room, not the young, spirited Vulcan.
"Captain," Ezra greeted as he entered. "You sent for me."
"Yes," Chris nodded, gesturing for Ezra to sit.
When he did that Ezra knew immediately that Chris was not seeing him as Chief Security officer but rather as a friend. Obviously the man had something he did not wish to impart because his body language was steeling himself for some test of endurance. "Something wrong Chris?" Ezra asked informally.
"You could say that." Chris drawled sipping his coffee slowly. "You'll be taking Vin's place down on Riga 3."
Although this news was not entirely unwelcome because he felt uncomfortable about any member of the crew going into such a hazardous situation without him, Ezra had to wonder what was the reason for it. "Why?" He asked after a moment.
"This is between you and me for the moment." Chris looked at Ezra, with the Larabee glare that indicated that he was serious and to ignore his captain's request was to do so at his own peril. "Nathan believes that Vin might have melded with an alien while he was on Fury 361."
"I see." Ezra took it rather well but then it was unusual for him to be open to outward displays of surprise. "Is this the reason for his somewhat exuberant behavior of late?"
"Nathan seems to think so." Chris confirmed. "Nathan also thinks that it might get worse than it's already been, that it might be bringing on Pon Farr."
Ezra was aware of the term and its significance to Vulcans although the details were shrouded in mystery. "I think he might be right."
"What makes you say that?" Chris met his eyes sharply; taking it from his remark that Ezra had something to add.
Ezra had no wish to break Vin's confidence but in light of what Chris had just told him, he was obligated to tell Chris what he knew about Vin's possible condition. "We had a discussion about how he and Lieutenant Richmond had engaged in an amorous exchange."
"He was with a woman?" Chris exclaimed.
"Yes," Ezra resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Last I looked Lieutenant Richmond was female unless we are extremely mistaken about his sexual orientation."
"Don't be funny." Chris growled, feeling awkward enough about the whole situation. "So what happened?"
"Well he was very confused, not to mention agitated. For starters, he had no idea why he chose Lieutenant Richmond for such a tryst, other than she was there."
Chris let out of a deep sigh. "It's starting. As you might have guessed, in light of what's coming at him, I can't authorize him to go on that mission. That's why you have to take his place."
"How did Starfleet take it?" Ezra asked, unable to imagine that they would have been happy about the situation.
"They weren't thrilled about it," Chris confirmed. "However, they know about Pon Farr and how bad his condition is going to get when it starts getting worse. We've come to the decision that we'll perform a little minor cosmetic surgery on our Away Team to have them blend in. Vin's participation would have been better but we have to make the best of a bad situation."
"Have you told him?" Ezra asked.
"No," Chris shook his head. "Suffice to say, he's going to fight me on this but I'm not changing my mind. I'm going to have Mary talk to him about what's going to happen."
"Forgive me for prying but what exactly is the solution here?" Ezra asked, more concerned about Vin the dangerous mission ahead. "If I understand correctly, he must mate."
"You're right," Chris said uncomfortably. "He has to mate or he'll die."
"Should not someone inform Alex?" Ezra stared at Chris. She was the closest thing that Vin had to a mate; surely telling her would be a necessary first step.
"Nathan doesn't think he can mate with a human." Chris informed. "It has to be with a female of the species. There's some kind of meld involved, some type of bonding process. If he mates with Alex, he could conceivably kill her without knowing it."
"Oh charming." Ezra grimaced. "Unfortunately, unattached Vulcan females are in short supply captain. Cannot Doctor Jackson find some other remedy?"
"He's working on it." Chris said grimly. "I'm going to have a talk to Mary, see if there's anything she can suggest."
However, Ezra noted that the captain did not look hopeful of a solution other than the obvious. Ezra felt sorry for Vin who wanted nothing to do with Vulcans because he was raised human and now would die because of it. It did not seem at all fair. "Are you intending to let Alex know before she goes on the mission?"
"I haven't decided that either." Chris confessed. He knew that Alex would be severely conflicted about leaving the ship if there was the remotest possibility that Vin might die because of his condition. However, not telling her would be a disgraceful act of cowardice on his part and something he was certain she would never forgive him for if the worst happened. Chris himself was trying to find some solution out of this desperate circumstance forced upon him by the idiosyncrasies of Vulcan mating habits. Vin was his best friend and the idea of losing the young man was more than Chris could stand.
"Captain," Ezra said rising to his feet. "There are times when I do not envy you your job."
"Ain't that the truth." Chris drawled with a discontented sigh.
Vin was presently still on duty at the helm of the Maverick and Chris saw no reason to tell him the news until after the man was off duty. In truth, he knew he was avoiding the issue but this was one of those times when his duty came into conflict with his friendship. He supposed his whole relationship with Vin Tanner could fall under that classification. Vin was younger than he and a junior officer and yet they had struck up a friendship almost immediately upon his assignment to the Rutherford. Vin had arrived on the Rutherford less than a week before the Borg engagement that saw Chris' promotion to Captain. They had barely spoken a few words until that last battle, where Vin had stood by his commanding officer in an uncontestable show of loyalty even though everything was going to hell around them. There had been a brief instance when it looked like all was lost, after captain was dead where both men exchanged a look of knowing exactly what each would do and from then on the bond that had been forged in that chaos had endured beyond all expectation.
The last few weeks, Chris had seen the change in Vin but self-confidence was always something Chris hoped for the shy young Vulcan who always seemed most comfortable when no one noticed him. Vin stood up and made himself counted whenever the situation required it but for social occasions, he retreated into that shell created by a life living almost entirely alone in rustic isolation. It was largely through Chris and Alex's collective efforts that Vin had emerged from his cocoon and the friendship of the six men who made up the Magnificent Seven, according to an in joke by the rest of the crew that had done its best for Vin. Chris hated to think that all the confidence and inner peace that Vin had displayed of late was the alien's influence and worst yet, that it was merely the beginnings of an even greater tempest.
Still Vin had to know what he was facing and Chris had no intention of allowing enduring this turbulent transition alone. He refused to believe that the lack of a simple biological function being satisfied would be the death of his trusted friend. If there was a way to keep him from dying, Chris would move heaven and earth to find it and strangely enough, Chris was not afraid to put up his command as collateral for such a gamble. If it meant his captaincy, Chris was more than willing to do what was necessary to see Vin get the help he needed. Fortunately, for the immediate present, nothing as drastic as that was required, however, Chris found that to get any further, he would have to consult with the one person who knew what Pon Farr was better than any other human on board the Maverick.
"Mary." Chris announced himself after he had left the bridge to Buck who was at this moment, plotting some secret revenge on Josiah while taking centre seat.
"Chris." Mary exclaimed with some measure of surprise at his unexpected arrival. Normally when there was ship's business to discuss, he would summon her to his Ready Room, deciding early on in their relationship that there were some professional boundaries that had to be maintained for it to work. He rarely came to her quarters like this and it made her wonder if there was not anything amiss.
"What are you doing here?" She asked as she stepped aside and allowed him into her quarters. "Is something wrong?"
"We need to talk." He said unable to shake the persona of captain that was dictating his manner at the moment. "It's a personal matter.'
Mary looked at him puzzled, finding his choice of words strange. "Personal?"
"I need to ask you about something personal between you and Syan." He finally managed to say, unable to believe how uncomfortable he felt talking to her about this.
Mary's browed arched and she turned away, unable to fathom his reason for asking but certain that he had a good reason. Fortunately Billy was at school at this time of the morning so it was possible for her to speak freely. Mary retreated to the sofa and faced him after she sat down, taking a deep breath and waiting for him to sit before she answered.
"What do you need to know?" She asked because she loved him and they were at a point in their relationship where there were no secrets between them.
Chris let out a deep exhale, hoping she was not too affronted by the question. "I need to know about Pon Farr."
"Pon Farr?" She blurted out. "Why?"
"Vin." He said simply and it was all the explanation she needed.
"Oh my god," she gasped. "Is it time already?" Her fear and alarm was genuine and Chris started to feel his own concerns deepen as if they were not bad enough as it was.
"We're not sure." Chris answered. "Nathan seems to think that he might have inadvertently brought it prematurely when he melded with one of the creatures on Fury 361. You seen him the last past weeks, he's been running on full steam."
"I did wonder about that." Mary acknowledged that much from her own observations.
"And Ezra told me that Vin apparently had something of an encounter with Lieutenant Richmond." Chris added.
"With Charlotte?" Mary exclaimed, aware that Charlotte Richmond was not exactly Alex's favourite person in stellar cartography after having overheard some of her remarks to Vin when he had first arrived on the Maverick. That he would choose her of all people to test the waters of his sexual maturity was more confirmation then any thing else Chris had said so far.
"Fortunately, the encounter was not as serious as it could have been." Chris phrased himself delicately. "I had to take him off the mission. I haven't told him anything about what Nathan and I suspect but I informed Starfleet of the problem and they did understand. So he's off the Away Team but before I go and drop that bombshell on him, I want to know if there is someway to help him, other than the obvious."
"I don't know," Mary though to herself. "Its not exactly the most openly discussed subject and to almost never spoken to outsiders. Although they don't openly say it, I do know many Vulcans aren't at all pleased that we know about it."
"Well to tell you the truth, I'd be happy to remain ignorant about it myself," Chris retorted. "Unfortunately I don't have a choice in the matter. So tell me what are we in for?"
"Its difficult to say," Mary confessed. "Vin doesn't have any of the preparation that most Vulcans have for this. He has no bonded mate and worse yet, he has not even reached maturity. Syan and I were both prepared for Pon Farr when it finally came and he had some measure of control because we were married prior to it taking effect. Sexual maturity does not always bring on Pon Farr when there are disciplines to reinforce control. Vin has none of this and so when it comes for him it will be severe. He will become aggressive, exceedingly so." She paused and tried to think of all the symptoms that would arise and knew that she probably could not account for all of it.
"If you think he's strong now, he'll be worse. I've heard of Vulcan denting steel when they're in the deeper throes of Pon Farr."
"Terrific." Chris shook his head, trying not to become more anxious with every word she was speaking.
"There will be a point when he will no longer recognise us if the mating does not take place. It's called the Blood Fever. At that stage, he will have to mate or else his metabolism will begun to shut down once it reaches climax. His chemical imbalances will become extreme and unless he expends that pent up aggression by mating or combat, he'll die."
"Combat?" Chris looked up. "Did you say combat?"
"Yes," Mary nodded. "It's called the khoonakaliffe." She recalled the legends behind the ritual and explained further. "In the days before Surak, a Vulcan who decided not to bond with its chosen mate would fight his or her rival in a trial by combat."
"What if we would do that?" Chris asked, a spark of hope inspired. "If we can get him to fight it out, maybe it will snap him out of it."
"No," she was already shaking her head. "Its no good Chris. It's trial by combat to the death. Whomever he fights, he'll probably. It won't work any other way. Sometimes and its rare, the shock of taking a life can snap them out of it but only if the person is someone very close. If not, they'll just be removing the rival, not the actual mate. "
"Then I have no idea what we're going to do?" Chris let out a deep sigh. "I hoped you had some idea of helping him."
Mary felt disappointed herself that she could not produce some way of helping Vin through this situation. "Does Alex know?" She asked.
"I haven't told her." He answered automatically. "I thought I might want to see what Vin wants to do about that. So much is out of his hands already, I just didn't want this to be either."
Mary nodded in understanding. "Do you want me to talk to him?" Mary offered, knowing how uncomfortable Chris felt about the whole situation. Indeed Vin would feel the same way too until he realised the full ramification of what was going to happen to him.
"No," Chris shook his head, standing up reluctantly. "I'll tell him. I can do that much for him at least."
Chris left Mary's quarters and immediately requested the computer tell him Vin's present whereabouts since it was well and truly past his duty shift already. The computer informed Chris diligently that Vin was to be found on Holodeck 1. Even though he wished he did not have to do this, Chris knew he could not put off telling Vin his decision regarding the mission to Riga 3 any longer. As his best friend, Vin had earned the right to be told the truth no matter how painful it might be for Chris to be the bearer of such news.
Upon reaching the Holodeck, Chris activated the door access and was immediately denied entry by the dulcet tones of the main computer.
"Restricted?" Chris barked at the non-corporeal speaker who had just informed him that Holodeck 1 was presently under restricted access.
"Under whose authorization?" He demanded.
"Lieutenant Vin Tanner." The computer answer.
Why would Vin restrict access on a holodeck programme? Despite himself and Vin's need for privacy, Chris felt tendrils of alarm that he could not explain. Telling himself to apologize to Vin later, Chris took a deep breath and ordered. "Computer - command override. Authorization Larabee, Christopher Captain."
"Authorization accepted." The voice responded and the door slid open.
Chris stepped inside the program and froze the minute he found himself at the arch controls that allowed him passage to the simulated world. Logically, he knew that this was a creation of light and magnetic containment but the thick humidity in the air, clogging up his lungs with its stifling heat. Shadowy alien constructs around him in cavernous chambers immediately started his pulse racing, along with the mist drifting around his legs. For a moment, he wanted to turn around because the most terrifying thing in this place was not the alien whose domain this was but rather a young woman named Angel whose last sensation in this world had been his lips on hers. Chris had thought he was starting to put all that behind him. However being here brought it all back again in every painful detail.
After what took an eternity of seconds, Chris forced himself to move, to venture deeper into this hellish recreation, each step dogged by a personal reminder that he was safe on the holodeck on board the Maverick, where a simple command from him could force this nightmare away. He had not walked more than a few steps when he heard the sounds of screeching aliens in the distance. Fighting the urge to call for the arch so he could exit this place, he forced himself forward because he knew Vin was here and repeated to himself once again that this was a simulation.
He found Vin in a larger chamber but he was not sure that it was his best friend he was seeing. The aliens seemed to pay little attention to Chris and were attacking Vin in force. Chris watched in horrified fascination as he saw Vin tearing aliens apart with either his bath'let or his bare hands. Carcasses were piled up around him; serrated jaws open agape in death, alongside torn limbs and shriveled bodies. The imagery was beyond nightmarish and Chris was certain that Dante, even in his deepest deliriums about hell's inferno had never pictured anything like this, because not even the aliens and this place was as terrifying as seeing Vin.
He moved almost as fast as the aliens did and where their limbs began and the Vulcans ended was difficult to tell. It was almost a ritual of death, painted in the elusive colors of dance. The carnage was in its way beautiful and Vin looked nothing like the friend Chris had known, he was almost animalistic in a way so primeval and lustful that for a moment Chris questioned whether or not he would recognise his captain.
"Vin." Chris finally spoke.
The helmsman stopped in his tracks, his eyes shifting to his captain. For a moment, Vin did not recognise Chris, he was certain but then the memory flooded back and Vin blinked twice and swallowed.
"Computer freeze program." He instructed softly, unable to hide his embarrassment at being found in this program.
Chris approached him slowly and suddenly everything Nathan had been warning about Pon Farr seemed more than just a possibility but rather a solidifying reality. "What is this?" Chris asked, his voice low.
"A combat program." Vin answered after a second, his chest swelling up as if he had decided he was not going to be ashamed of it.
"I guessed." Chris said cautiously, unable to believe this feral looking man with rips in his skin, covered in smatterings of blood was his usually dependable helmsman and friend. Chris had thought this was going to be hard but after seeing this, his decision became remarkably easy.
"Vin, we need to talk."
"What about?" Vin demanded, tense.
"The mission." Chris said taking a good step away from the Vulcan. "You're not going."
"Why?" Vin shot back and took a step forward, hostility in every pore.
Fear was not something Chris felt often but staring into those savage eyes told him that if he did not feel it then he was a fool. "I think you know why. This," he looked around him with a sweeping gesture. "Is part of it."
"It's just a combat program." Vin insisted.
"Maybe it is," Chris was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. "But there's more going on with you and I think you know what it is."
"It's not happening to me." Vin barked back and answered Chris' question irrevocably.
"Yes it is." Chris nodded. "I didn't know it until now."
"How can you know anything!" Vin was on him in a second and Chris felt fingers locking around his throat before he could get away. The power in Vin's grip was beyond Chris ability to break and it clenched around his throat like a vise.
"VIN!" Chris groaned as he felt himself lifted off the ground until his toes of his boots were scuffing the floor.
"Jesus!" Vin let him go as his plea penetrated through the rage induced fog of the Vulcan's mind. Chris dropped heavily to the floor and began gasping. He looked up long enough to see Vin scrambling away, his eyes wide with horror at what he had done.
"Vin," Chris struggled to breathe, "its okay, I'm alright." He gasped as he tried to get to his feet.
However, Vin was not listening. He did the only thing a man who had just tried to kill his best friend could do other than to beg forgiveness and that was to run.
Alex had stepped out of the shower when she heard someone pounding frantically on her door. Almost instantly, her heart clenched knowing instinctively who would behave like this and hesitated as she tried to decide whether or not to let Vin into her quarters. However, she also remembered the trials she had endured and how he had patiently stood by her, offering support and friendship when she needed it most. Despite her recollections of their last encounter, Alex knew that she cared too much about Vin Tanner to deny him that same support. She brushed her away reservations and went to answer her door, deciding what would happen, would happen, daring to face it only because it was Vin.
As her door slid open, she stared for a moment in stunned silence as he saw him standing before her, covered in blood and sweat, eyes wide with fear. Seeing this way drove any other thoughts out of her mind beyond his well being.
"Vin, what in God's name happened?" She demanded almost afraid to touch him.
"Please let me come in Alex." He pleaded.
There was no doubt in her mind about denying him that. She stepped aside and watched him enter her room, trembling and felt panicked thoughts running through her mind when she saw the bruises and lacerations on his skin, not to mention the blood that had soiled his uniform. Alex waited until the door sealed them in and kept the rest of the world outside before she approached him. He was standing in the middle of the room, looking like a lost child and Alex immediately felt her heart go out to him and knew that no matter what had happened in the turbo lift, she could never turn him away when he needed her.
"Vin, what is it?" She went to Vin and touched his cheek, hoping the warmth of her touch would do something to his distraught state.
"I don't know what's happening to me!" He stammered, a thousand uncertainties running across his handsome face, almost driven to despair. "I can't control anything! Half the time it feels like I'm eaten alive from inside out!"
"Vin!" Alex held his face in her hands as he started to rant and made her look at him. "Its okay," she spoke in a soothing voice. "I believe you. Please, tell me what's wrong?"
He blinked slowly and wrapped his hand around her wrists, unable to believe how good it felt just feeling her touch him and to say that things were all right between them again. Even as Vin stood before her, he had to restrain himself because the need for Alex was overwhelming. He wanted to touch her so badly, to do all the things he had done with Charlotte and felt so little but was certain would feel right with Alex. However, he also remembered that he had hurt her and Chris as well, the two people in the world who meant more to him than any other. With that in mind, he forced himself to remain focussed though it was very hard to do.
"I think I hurt Chris." Vin finally managed to say.
"Hurt Chris?" Alex exclaimed. "How?" She forced herself to remain strong for him because he needed to be. He probably felt bad enough without hearing anything she had to say on the subject, most of all reproach.
"I got angry and I couldn't control myself." He responded, his words leaving him in a flurry of verbal deluge. "He told me I couldn't go on the mission and the next thing I knew I had him by the neck! Alex I almost lifted him off the ground."
With his strength, she could well believe it. Vulcans were four times stronger than humans under normal circumstances and what Vin was suffering right now did not appear normal at all, so it was incalculable how much stronger he was at this point. He could have very well harmed Chris without being aware of what he was doing until it was too late. However, she could not bring that observation to him at this moment. He was terrified enough as it was without adding to his fears with that insight. Right now, Alex did need him calm because he was clearly agitated and the slightest thing could provoke him into the same behavior that had allowed him to harm Chris.
"Let's just see if he's alright." She suggested as she made him sit down while she went to find her com badge.
Vin lowered himself into the sofa obediently, too shaken to do anything else. As he watched Alex move towards her bed where her com badge was presently residing on the uniform sprawled on the sheets, he found himself admiring her slender form barely concealed in the robe she was wearing. Once again, he felt himself overcome with a surge of desire he could not control and her words to him became distant as if spoken from a distance through a thick fog. He remembered how Charlotte had begged him to stay and wondered if he touched Alex in the same manner, would she beg him too. Vin did not even realize it when he stood up and started towards her.
"Captain," Alex tapped her com badge unaware of Vin's approach. "Captain Larabee."
A response came almost immediately.
"Alex?" Chris' voice asked.
His voice sounded hoarse which immediately escalated her anxiety considering what Vin had just told her about harming Chris. "Captain, are you alright?" She asked anxiously.
"I'm fine." He answered firmly, wanting no misconceptions on that point because Chris could undoubtedly guess what sort of turmoil Vin was enduring at present. "Is Vin with you?"
Chris' acumen regarding Vin's present location did not surprise her in the least. It was impossible to lose anyone on board the Maverick, what with the internal sensors and com badges operating with its usual efficiency, however Chris would also know that there were very few people on board that Vin would turn to help in times of crisis.
"Yes Sir," she answered with no desire to hide the truth from him. "Are you sure you're okay?" She questioned again, knowing that the more reassurance he received over Chris' well being, the better off he would be.
"He didn't hurt me." Chris answered, catching on to her meaning. "Alex, Nathan wants to see Vin immediately. He's not well. He needs to come to Sick Bay."
His words sounded ominous and there was a tension in their consistency that made her fear that Vin's condition was not just erratic behaviour but rather something far more serious than that. Her pulse started to race without Alex even being aware of it and she swallowed thickly as she heard Chris acknowledge her promise to bring Vin to SickBay. The idea that she could lose Vin suddenly rose yp like bile in her throat and gripped with her with an intense feeling of fear. It would be like losing a part of herself and Alex did not know whether or not she could cope with the loss. Ever since he entered her life, Alex could not deny that he had contributed much to healing the wounds of her tragic past. Not only was he her friend but the reliable shoulder she could lean on for support during those times when she needed someone to chase away her nightmares. For a woman who was always so strong and self-assured, it surprised her how much she needed his strong arms to hold her tight and tell her everything would going to be okay in that too soft voice of his. She knew that her feelings for him were far deeper than she dared admit and for first time, realised that they were reaching some sort of apogee where she would no longer be able to deny it, to Vin or herself.
When Alex turned around, she found Vin standing before her. Before she had time to react, he lowered his head and pressed his mouth against hers in a kiss of furious passion. Strong arms slid around her waist, driving his body into hers in perfect synchronicity. Alex was too astonished to react, feeling his hands slide down her back and then over the curves of her rear, before lifting her up easily in one swift movement. Any protest she attempt to make was stifled by his tongue questing past her teeth, cutting off the words she tried to speak. Alex felt her head swim, unable to resist the onslaught of that incredible mouth kissing her with such passion, until she found her own hands wrapping around his muscled back, fingers running through his satisfying long hair.
"I want you so much." He whispered when he moved his lips away from hers, his hands trying to slip past the fold of her robe, desperate to feel the flesh he so wanted to possess. "Please Alex, let me touch you." He said huskily as he lowered her onto the mattress, undoing the knot of her robe until the material splayed open, revealing her naked flesh to him.
"Vin." Alex started to whimper when she felt his lips burrow into her neck with such need, it took her breath away. He nibbled at her neck with the expertise of someone who knew what exactly what it took to make her quiver. She did not even realise that he was on top of her until she felt the cool air against her skin and realised that her robe was open and his hands was kneading her breast insistently, pausing occasionally to finger the erect nipple under his tips. Her astonishment melted away to pleasure and for a few seconds, she found herself enjoying his kisses and his touch, the feel of his hard body pressing into her, getting harder with each passing moment.
"Alex," he groaned. "I need you so bad." He whimpered. "Please let me be inside you..."
"Oh Vin," she whispered, her body arching and pressing more of herself into him. She wanted to let him make love to her, had never wanted it so much in her life but the fact was, he was trying to satisfy a need he did not understand and that was not quite the same as making love. Even though there was a time when the difference would have hardly mattered to her, it was not that way any more.
It had not been that way since she met him.
"Vin, we can't." She managed to regain some semblance of coherence to say. "This isn't right. I don't want you like this, when you don't have the mind to choose. This isn't you."
"Yes it is," he countered dreamily, finally having her in his grasp and understanding why it had been so wrong with Charlotte and so utterly perfect with Alex. He could feel every fibre of himself wanting to please her, shuddering with pleasure each time she sighed at his touch in a place that appreciated it. "I don't want anyone else, just you."
"No," she started to push him away, aware that if she did not, she would lose her resolve and they would take this heated moment to its end only to regret it later. "Not like this." She squirmed from under him.
"I want you Alex," he continued to murmur, his hands now sliding towards her wrists. "Please don't make me stop."
"You don't want this Vin," she said softly, feeling herself overpowered by sensation when his lips started nuzzling the delicate flesh of her throat. This had to stop, she told herself aching, and this had to stop right now.
"Enough." She pushed him away. "Get off me Vin." She said coldly.
"NO!" He forced her down again. "I want you now!" He hissed, his hand pinning both of hers to the mattress.
With her arms held down firmly, Alex fought the instinct to do him serious injury, even though she was being revisited by familiar terrors that would have certainly justified such a violent response on her part. However, Alex knew that he cared for her and that it was not impossible to reach whatever semblance of him that was left amidst the raging turmoil of his desires. She could reach him. She had to.
"Are you willing to rape to get me?" She asked softly.
He froze as if he was slapped and stopped what he was doing immediately. There was an eternity of time when Alex saw the anguish and horror of what he was doing, impress itself upon his brain. Vin left out a strangled gasp and shrunk away from her, almost as if he was scaled. He removed himself from her with far more efficiency than she could have managed herself. Vin closed his eyes as he scrambled away, feeling revulsion rising from the deepest corners of his insides, calling him filthy names because he had become the thing he promised he would never be with her. Vin dropped to his knees as Alex sat up, pulling her robe around herself. He stared up at her and saw that she was not looking at him with anger or disgust but sympathy and immediately felt a thousand knives dig into his heart, all laced with the poison of guilt.
First Chris, now Alex! God he wished he were dead!
The tears came in loud ragged sobs and Vin did not even realise he was crying until he felt the wet on his face. However, instead of feeling her rejection for his heinous act of near violation, he was received with her open arms wrapping themselves around him. She was kneeling before him, holding him not like a lover but someone who was his friend, who forgave him everything even though he had behaved like an animal. Like someone who loved him and always would.
"I'm so sorry." He wept in shame. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I would never hurt you."
"I know," she crooned in his ear, prepared to keep him in her embrace for as long as he needed her to believe him. "I know."
When Vin Tanner arrived in SickBay a short time later, Chris Larabee and Nathan Jackson were already waiting for him there. Alex had called ahead and informed the Chief Medical officer of their arrival. When the Vulcan entered the medical centre of the Maverick, he saw Nathan tending to Chris. The doctor was running a dermal regenerator over Chris' throat, which clearly displayed the dark purplish marks left behind by Vin's powerful grip. As the Vulcan entered the vicinity, he met his best friend's eyes and was immediately force to avert his gaze out of sheer guilt. He was mortified at what he had done now that his raging emotions had settled a bit. Not only had he harmed his captain and best friend, he had almost done something unforgivable to the woman who meant everything to him. Vin wanted nothing but to crawl away and die. Unfortunately, neither Alex nor Chris were about to allow him such a cowardly respite. Alex had promised to be at his side no matter what and Chris had made the same entreaty to do everything that was humanely possible to help him.
"Vin, you okay?" Chris asked first, more worried about the Vulcan's state of mind than feeling any anger towards Vin for what had been done to him through no fault of his own. There was no doubt in his mind that Nathan's suspicion about the Pon Farr was indeed the nightmare Vin was facing. What he had seen in the holodeck and Vin's subsequent reaction was proof of that.
"I'm sorry Chris." Vin stammered still unable to look Chris in the eye. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I don't know what's happening to me. I can't seem to get a handle on anything."
"Its not your fault." Nathan said automatically, finishing up with Chris and setting down the regenerator. He came around the examination table where Chris was perched so that he could tell Vin face to face what was happening. "Vin, this is my fault. I should have had you in here before this but I was hoping that I was wrong."
"What are you talking about?" Vin asked confused. This was not Nathan's fault or anyone else's for that matter, this was his!
"Vin do you know what the Pon Farr is?" The doctor asked.
Vin's eyes widened in shock. Of course he knew what it was. The minute he understood what sex was, he had read up on the subject, what little of it there was anyway. Mary had explained some aspects of it and what he knew, told him that it was not an experience he wanted to endure. He wrenched himself from Alex immediately and started hyperventilating because being told that news was tantamount to discovering that he was going to die.
"That's impossible!" He returned. "I'm too young! It can't be happening to me yet!" He burst out, unable to believe that this was the cause of all his problems. In truth, a part of him had suspected it but Vin had prayed that it was anything but that. He knew the insanity that took hold of Vulcans during this phase of their biological development and he had no wish to endure the ordeal himself. Yet he knew as well as Nathan did that there was nothing to stop it.
"I know," Nathan tried to explain, seeing Vin being reduced to panic. The young man was afraid and for good reason. He knew what Pon Farr was and in his place, Nathan would feel just as much terror. "I think its been triggered prematurely because of your meld with the alien on Fury 361."
"Shit!" Vin swore loudly.
"Vin, calm down." Chris slipped off the examination bed as he saw his best friend starting to become unhinged again. "We can work this out. We'll find someway to deal with this."
"What the hell are you men talking about?" Alex demanded and Chris realised that it was not surprising that she did not know what it was. A very few select people knew what Pon Farr was, himself, Nathan, Josiah, Mary and Ezra. To all other non-Vulcans it was one of the deepest mysteries of Vulcan culture. They chose not to discuss it in any shape or form.
"The Pon Farr is the time of sexual maturity." Nathan tried to explain but could see he would have to be more succinct because Alex was starting to become more distressed by Vin's terror of the subject.
"I figured that much out!" Alex said caustically.
"It's more than!" Vin shouted. "I'll turn into some kind of savage. I won't know any body and I won't be able to control myself at all! This isn't even the worse that its going to get, is it?" He demanded. "Tell her!"
"If he doesn't mate, he'll die." Chris explained.
Alex stared at him in shock. "You're joking."
"No." Nathan shook his head. "I wish it was a joke but if Vin doesn't mate, he will die. During Pon Farr, his body goes through a chemical imbalance that can only be corrected by satisfying the need. It's not just a sexual but also a mental bonding. That's why Vulcan parents choose mates for their children at such an early age."
"Shut up Nathan!" Vin barked, hating to have Alex hear all this. He never felt so humiliated in his whole life. "Ain't this bad enough as it is? Does Alex have to know everything?"
"Well maybe he's telling me because I might be able to help." Alex returned and Vin turned around sharply and looked at her, understanding in an instant what she was offering, even though she was not so gauche to come out and say it.
"You would do that?" Vin asked, wanting to make love to her but unable to stand it if he knew that it was for pity. "Just to save me?"
"No," Alex shook her head. "Not just to save you."
"It has to be a Vulcan." Chris cut in before this discussion went any further, hating to do so but there were just some realities that needed facing.
"Why?" Alex turned to him. "I thought if he mates....."
"It's not that simple Alex," Chris glanced at Nathan, preferring him to explain because Nathan could do it better.
"Its because I'm going to turn into some damn animal!" Vin barked unable to face her as he turned his back to all of them. "I could hurt you, maybe even kill you."
Alex was not surprised by that revelation. She had seen how vehement he had been when she had refused him. "So it has to be a Vulcan." She nodded in understanding, reminding herself that the best way to view this whole situation was with the detachment of a science officer, not the woman who cared greatly for Vin Tanner.
"Yeah," Nathan nodded. "Usually it's a female he's bonded it when the pre-meld ritual was held during the choosing of mates. Even if that weren't the case, its the fact that Vin knows nothing about the Vulcan disciplines that allows to maintain some measure of restraint, even in Pon Farr."
"So what can we do?" Alex asked and then noted the blank expressions on both Chris and Nathan's faces, guessing the truth by their lack of response. "Nothing?" She gasped. "There's nothing we can do? But he'll die!"
"I rather die than be with someone else," Vin whispered. He turned around and faced her, his blue eyes meetings hers. "If I can have you, I don't anyone else. If I have to die, then that's how it will be."
No one knew how to answer, least of all Alex because they knew he meant it.
There were not many occasions that Alexandra Styles looked to with as much loathing as this one. She knew she was exaggerating when she equaled it to her stay in a Cardassian prison. However, could not help but feel the situation she was walking towards was similar. In truth, the emotional turmoil that was raging inside of her at the moment was almost as fierce as the physical abuse she had received at the hands of her jailors. At least there she had been the victim, the helpless prisoner with no choice but to suffer the indignities put upon her. In this instance, she could not claim anything of the sort. For three years after that nightmarish experience, Alex had fled from this day, unable to face what she had turned her back upon in the wake of her terrible suffering. There were a number of things in her life that could be called unfinished and this was probably the most undone.
Of course it did not help matters much that her thoughts were divided as she and Buck Wilmington made their way to the Transporter Room to receive the newest passenger to the Maverick. As much as she was reluctant to face what awaited her there, she was even more worried about Vin Tanner. At the moment, the helmsman had confined himself to his quarters, undergoing every possible treatment that a Vulcan could receive to suppress the dreaded Pon Farr that was raging through his veins. In the last day or so, the condition had worsened and the random bursts of rage had become a continuous flow of seething anger, demanding expression. Nathan had done what he could with drugs and continued to do so, clinging to the belief that he would find away for a more permanent cure. Although Alex had a great deal of confidence in Nathan's abilities, she did not think that there was any chemical way to solve Vin's problem.
She wanted desperately to see him but unfortunately, Nathan had advised against it. At first she had balked at the idea but then she realised that she was the source of his torment and stayed away willingly. Vin wanted to mate with her and only with her. Rumour had reached her about Vin and Charlotte and while Alex had been initially angry, she also understood that he could not help it. Mary had explained to her how powerful the Pon Farr was and how helpless Vin would have been to his urges that any woman would do at the time, not just her. However, it appeared that for Vin anyway, Charlotte was not good enough. It had to be her and if it was a simple matter of the sex, she would have already solved the problem but Vin could hurt her in the state he was in, without any of the disciplines that Vulcans taught themselves to prepare for this time. Nathan had been explicit in his detail, not only might he hurt her, he could possibly kill her.
However, Alex would have been willing to risk her life on the gamble if it were not for one thing; if she mated with Vin, as far as Vulcan was considered, they would be married. It would be legally binding according to Federation and Vulcan law and that step was one Alex was simply not prepared for. She could was not even sure she loved him! She cared a great deal about him and when he had tried to make love to her, his kisses has nearly robbed her of all sense but that could just be simple biology, not a deep down feeling that was fundamental to a step as permanent as marriage.
"You okay?" Buck asked concerned as they rounded the corner of their final stretch towards Transporter Room 2.
"Yeah," she nodded, grateful for his presence. Since they had unwittingly become the pawns of an alien race and engaged in a heated romantic tryst, Buck Wilmington and Alexandra Styles had become confidantes of a sort. Although she still thought he was a womanising prig, she also considered him one of her best friends because he seemed to be a paradox. "I guess I'm not looking forward to this."
"I don't blame you." Buck remarked sympathising. "Can't be easy to face him after all this time."
"Its not just that," Alex shrugged. "I behaved very badly after what happened with the Cardassians." She confessed.
Buck gave her a look. "You can't seriously expect to behave anything else after what those bastards did to you."
Even as he said it, Alex could see the disgust burning in his eyes. Buck loved women and to know that one had been treated the way she had, offended him on a very personal level. "Thanks but I can't keep using that as an excuse. I broke off our engagement without even seeing him, Buck. That's not right no matter how I look at it."
"No it isn't," he agreed. "But cut yourself some slack, you had good reasons."
"How can you be such a sensitive soul and bed hopping twit at the same time?" She joked and Buck laughed softly.
"It's a talent darling." He grinned.
"I'll say." Alex grinned as they entered the Transporter Room where Lieutenant Rain was presently manning the controls.
"Deep Space Four has just signalled that Lieutenant Commander Pierce is ready to transport." Rain informed them dutifully.
"You ready for this?" Buck glanced at Alex.
"No but lets get it over and done with anyway." She retorted because it was the truth. No matter how much she tried to prepare for this day, it would still not be enough. She supposed the timing of it was somewhat serendipitous. Here she was, possibly about to make the most momentous decision in her life and the last person to whom she had made a similar decision about and then broken, was preparing to enter her life again. Sometimes Alex wondered if her life was Fate's checkerboard.
"Alright," Buck let out a deep breath and looked at Rain. "Engage."
The transporter pad began to whine a second after Rain's fingers flew across the console before her. It preceded the shimmering glitter of energy that appeared before them as the outline of Lieutenant Commander Dylan Pierce began to form. Alex swallowed, feeling her pulse suddenly race and her heart pounding inside her chest. She tried not to think about how she had wronged him, how she had dissolved their two year engagement with nothing more than a short note from the Klingon homeworld where she had taken refuge, telling him that marriage was not something she could cope with at the moment. How was she to face it now when she was contemplating it with a Vulcan?
Dylan Pierce appeared an instant later, driving away from her thoughts the past as she was thrust head first into the present they were now occupying in the same space. He had not changed much, still ruggedly handsome, with emerald eyes, dark hair and the look of a man who let very little bother him. His gaze moved across the transporter pad and met hers almost a second later and even though he showed nothing in his manner, she saw that the hurt was very much alive in his eyes. Seeing it so clearly made Alex swallow hard, trying to push away the lump in her throat.
"Commander Pierce," Buck stepped forward taking the initiative, trying to give Alex a moment to recoup, aware of what an emotional situation this was for her. "I'm First Officer Commander Buck Wilmington, welcome on board."
"Thank you," Dylan answered although his attention was firmly fixed on Alex.
"And you've met Commander Styles." Buck added, even though it was more or less a redundant gesture.
"Yes," Dylan nodded. "We have."
"Hello Dylan." Alex stepped forward.
"You look good." He said quietly.
"You too." She tried to smile, to show her that his presence was not anything but tumultous but somehow could not manage it.
"Commander," Buck broke in because someone had to. "Captain Larabee is waiting for you in the Conference Room, shall we?"
"Of course." Pierce tore his gaze away from Alex back to him. "Lead the way."
As Buck walked ahead, Alex found herself walking in stride with Dylan. For a few seconds, there was a length of awkwardness between them as each struggled with thoughts of how to approach the unresolved issues between them. Alex knew she had to get it out in the open soon because it would not take long for the gossip regarding her and Vin to reach his ears and then explanations would be doubly hard. There was a time when she cared for him greatly and was more than prepared to spend the rest of her life with him. However, that person had died in a Cardassian prison and the one who returned from that hell had little interest in being married and now felt nothing more than deep fondness for what they had once shared. She knew where her heart lay even though admitting at present was harder than she had imagined.
"Why didn't you answer any of my letters?" Dylan asked once Buck was far enough ahead for them to talk quietly.
"I wasn't ready to." She responded without hesitation. He deserved the truth and she had put off telling it to him long enough. "I can't explain to you what it was like when I got out but I couldn't face anybody."
"I know." Dylan retorted. "I remember the doctors telling me it was best that I stayed away. If I had known you were going to go to ground on me, I would never have left for the Archimedes."
"Dylan," Alex struggled to explain. "I behaved badly, I shouldn't have shut you out. I know that's not a lot I can say to justify what I did but I couldn't stand seeing you after what happened."
"I'm not stupid Alex," he said abruptly. "Didn't you think I understood that? You think I stayed away because I cared less? There were so many times after I found out what happened that I was almost ready to fly into Cardassian space and kill as many of them as I could. It was even worse because I couldn't even get you to answer any of my com transmissions to tell you that or to even see how you were."
Alex sucked in her breath, feeling the guilt eat away at her. "I can't tell you how sorry I am. I didn't mean to shut you out, I just couldn't look you in the eye. I haven't even been able to see my father since it happened."
"I know," Dylan said shortly. "He calls me sometimes and we wonder at what point we lost you, before you went to the Cardassians or after you came back?"
"Things are different now." Alex started to say. "I'm better. Since being on this ship, I've manage to put some those ghosts aside."
"I still love you."
Alex met his eyes with shock. "Not Dylan, you don't. You're in love with what we were. The person you fell in love with is gone. She's died in a Cardassian prison. There's only me left."
"I could get to know you all over again." He countered, a hint of desperation in his voice. "If this is behind you, maybe we can try again."
"No," Alex retorted just abruptly. "I'm afraid we can't."
Dylan's eyes narrowed and suddenly, it looked as if he had stumbled upon some kind of revelation. "Is there someone else?" He asked, his voice hard.
"No." She replied and they both knew she was lying.
"Who is he?" Dylan demanded. His voice was still soft but the insistence was clear.
"There is no one." Alex repeated herself. "Dylan, I wanted to get a few things cleared up between us, considering I am going on the mission to Riga 3 with you."
"You're going....?" His eyes widened. "No."
"It's not up to you." Alex said shortly, bristling at his blunt refusal. "You need a tactical officer who can be spared off ship. That's me."
"What about the Vulcan?" He asked, his brows wrinkling in confusion.
"You were supposed to have been told before you arrived on board," Alex stuttered, realising he did not know that Vin was no longer available to be on the Away Team.
"I've been in transit for the last two days. What about the Vulcan?" Dylan asked again, this time with enough demand to warrant Buck glancing at them over his shoulder.
"Vin's not well." Alex answered. "He's in no condition to go on an Away mission."
"Vin?" Dylan looked at her suspiciously. "Is that who you're involved with?"
Alex stiffened, starting to get angry. He was here for less than twenty minutes and he was already prying into her private life. Alex wondered if he had been this stubborn when she had been engaged to the man.
"That is none of your business." Alex hissed back.
"Obviously not." Dylan replied with just as much vitriol.
"Commanders," Buck Wilmington's voice interrupted them from continuing any further. "I think this conversation can wait until after the briefing with the Captain."
"Yes Sir." Alex replied somewhat grateful for Buck's intrusion, having enough of this conversation even though she knew it was nowhere the last one they would have on this subject.
Nathan had advised Mary against visiting Vin but she knew she could not stay away.
The Vulcan had locked himself in his quarters, granted extended Sick Leave until a way could be found to cure his condition. Both Mary and Nathan knew that it was not that simple. The Pon Farr could not be denied, simply survived and sometimes even that was not possible. Nathan had refused to let her go alone because despite the drugs, Vin was barely managing to maintain control of his rampaging desires. There would come a point when the drugs would not be enough to contain him and God only knew what they would do then. Mary had seen a young male in the full throes of Pon Farr and knew that however bad Nathan thought it was going to be, it was actually going to be a lot worse.
For the moment anyway, Vin still had some control of himself and Mary hoped that if she were to able to offer him some limited mental reinforcement combined with Nathan's drugs, perhaps he might be able to fight what was going to happen to him.
"If he does anything, you get out of there." Nathan instructed as he escorted her to Vin's door. The healer knew Mary wanted a private audience with Vin but Chris would have his hide if he did not at least try to offer her some measure of protection if he could not talk her out of it.
"I'll be careful Nathan," Mary reassured him as he stepped aside while she activated the chime on Vin's door.
There was a momentary pause before a strained voice answered. "Go away."
"I told you." Nathan replied. "He has not been wanting to see anyone for the last day."
Mary refused to accept that. "Vin," Mary spoke up loud enough for him to hear. "Its Mary. Vin, please let me in."
"Mary, I don't want to see anyone!" Vin barked.
"I'm not going away Vin." She said defiantly and crossed her arms. Nathan had seen that stance before and knew when the slender blond got this way, it was best to just to concede defeat. Even Chris knew better than to cross swords with Mary when she was so determined.
"Alright!" He said meekly and Mary exchanged a brief glance with Nathan, informing him that she was aware of the dangers and was going nonetheless.
Mary stepped into the room and tried not to show that what she saw that shocked her. The room was in disarray, bedding was matted in heaps on the floor. What meagre ornaments he embellished his room with was strewn across the carpet, table and chairs had been knocked over and the ceramic of crockery had been shattered into tiny fragments. Vin was pressed up against the glass of his window, his body balled into foetal position as he took up residence on the windowsill. His long hair was matted and there were scratches on his skin. In the dim light, she could see his skin glistening with sweat and he was shaking even as he gazed at her from across the room.
And this was not even the worst of it.
"Vin." Mary swallowed, pushing away her fear. "Vin, are you alright?"
"Do I look alright!" He snapped harshly.
"No of course not," she rebuked herself for such a foolish question. She made her way gingerly across the disarrayed room towards him, unwilling to let her fear get the better of her. "How are you feeling?"
"Like I'm ready to jump out of my skin!" He hissed. "I want her so badly I can't stand it!"
"I know," Mary said with understanding and sympathy.
"No you don't know!" Vin shouted. "You don't. I'm sitting here and all I can think of is how she smells, how she moves. God, I can't sleep without seeing her and I can't stay awake without wanting to bust out of here to be with her!"
This confused Mary somewhat because as far as she knew, Vin had not bonded with Alex. In fact, she was the only woman who had touched his mind as deeply. "Vin, have you melded with Alex before?"
Vin looked up, as if the question was giving him focus. He tried to think back and remembered those early months on the Maverick when he had felt minds pressing in on him because his ability to erect shields around his thoughts were non-existent. Mary had been attempting to teach him this important aspect of Vulcan telepathy when in a fit of anger, he had stormed out of the lesson. The first person he had come across had been Alex. In anger, he had forced a meld upon her and it was the only time other than that humiliating incident in the turbo lift, she had ever been so angry with him.
"Yes." He nodded mutely. "Once."
Mary knew how to keep Vin from gaining an emotional attachment to her when they were engaged in their sessions together but Alex would have no such protection. It was no wonder he was half insane with need for her. Unfortunately, the bond now established, especially when reinforced with such emotional attachment, was not easy to break. If he was not allowed to consummate his need with Alex, he would die.
"Vin, you've bonded with her." Mary said firmly. "Do you know what that means?"
"No," he shook his head.
"It means that you're selected her for your mate. The desire you're feeling is the Pon Farr demanding you consummate your bonding with her."
"NO!" He roared and made her jump. "I'd rather die!" He hissed. "I'm not going to force her into having sex with me out of pity!"
"Vin you know better than that," Mary sighed trying to explain. "It's not pity. She cares about you. Its because she's human."
"I know that!" He said anguished, burying his face in his knees. "Is Pierce here yet?"
"Who?" Mary did not quite hear him.
"Pierce!" Vin snapped. "Her fianceé."
"Yes," Mary nodded mutely. "He arrived about an hour ago."
Vin's fists clenched as he hugged his knees tighter, knuckles turning white with rage at the thought that there might be another in competition for his desire for Alex. Mary could feel the fury emanating from him and immediately closed the distance between them both. She reached for his face, catching his head in her hands.
"Calm yourself." She instructed and closed her eyes as she concentrated.
"What..."
"Calm yourself." She ordered again, more strongly this time and Vin fell into silence as he heard her chanting soft words. "My mine to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts....."
For a minute, Mary thought she had fallen into the centre of a storm. Powerful winds rushed past her, frantic thoughts, coupled with equally furious emotions, bombarded her from all sides. She could feel the inner turmoil inside of him. It bubbled and frothed. Mary felt as if she were riding a banshee through the maelstrom of hell.
Focus! Focus!
She grit her teeth and held first, trying to project her meagre abilities into some kind of cohesive force to help him quell the rage inside of him. The drugs were there too, a dark cloud of grey, dousing the tempestuous storm moving like a juggernaut through his mind, they halted the destructive pace some but not enough. The unbridled force of his rampaging thoughts was beyond comprehension and she shuddered at the realisation that it was not even at its climax yet. He was still coherent but the time was fast approaching when he would not be, when everyone he loved and cared about would become faceless entities in the quest he had to fulfil at all costs.
Mary projected calm into this hurricane of emotion. She sent as much of her strength into him as she could muster, reinforcing walls that were crumbling prior to her arrival. In her mind's eye, she picture the bricks restructuring, slipping back into their place in the mortared tapestry. The force they had to withstand still battered them relentlessly though and even with its erection, Mary could tell that eventually they would be overcome. However, her attempt to help him had worked for now.
Mary withdrew and saw Vin staring at her with an expression of profound gratitude. The pain, the driving need had dissipated inside of him at least for the time being. He would last a little longer with the aid of the drugs.
"Thank you." He said softly, tears glistening in his eyes.
"I did what I could." She replied, touching his cheek.
"Its not enough is it?" He asked, understanding that much.
Mary shook her head, not about to lie to him. "No," she answered sadly. "Not enough to stop the Blood Fever."
"Then I'll die." He said simply.
Mary could only nod as tears filled her eyes. "You will die."
After introductions were made across the table, the meeting consisting of Chris, Ezra, Buck, Alex and Dylan Pierce got underway. The tension levels in the room were already high owing to atmosphere of awkwardness between Alex and Dylan. The man's presence felt like an affront to everyone at the table because it coincided with the Pon Farr that Vin as presently suffering. Although it made no sense to those who felt it, none of them could help feeling as if Dylan was attempting to usurp what was Vin's by his very presence on board the Maverick. Still as Chris looked across the table at the special envoy sent to him from Starfleet Headquarters, he reminded himself to maintain a professional mindset, no matter what.
"So what's the problem with your Vulcan?" Dylan asked as soon as the subject at hand was on the table.
The entire room seemed to bristle at the same time at the reference and Chris turned a steely eye at the man who immediately realized that he had said something out of turn. "Lieutenant Tanner is unable to take part in the mission because of a life threatening illness."
"Came up rather suddenly." Dylan remarked with a hint of sarcasm that was blatant for everyone to notice.
Alex who sat next to Buck glared at Dylan with dislike, unable to believe that he could be so cold when she thought of what agonies Vin was suffering within his quarters, trapped there by his own wishes. She could see the anger in Chris' eyes, cold and white hot in its fury, while the rest of him remained the epitome of control. Buck however, was fighting to keep silent and Ezra as always was unreadable. She knew Dylan well enough to know that he usually baited people like this when he suspected more was going on than they were letting on. However, this time he had picked the wrong person to push. Chris Larabee would not stand for it.
"Yes it did." Chris said smoothly, showing nothing of his true feelings. "In any case, its not a subject for discussion."
"I beg to differ." Dylan pointed. "We needed him specifically. He has the expertise and the appearance to infiltrate the research facility on Riga 3. We would not have requested him otherwise."
"Why not use a Vulcan operative?" Ezra inquired instead.
"The terrain." Dylan said automatically. "Riga 3 is uninhabited except for the research station. The planet is surrounded in thick vegetation not unlike that on the world Tanner was known to have survived when he was marooned. The Romulans have given us 24 hours to enter their space and get the information. After that, High Command cannot guarantee that Romulan vessels unaware of the mission will not accost us. If we're still there when our time is up, they'll disavow any knowledge of us and claim that we have violated the Neutral Zone."
"Wonderful," Buck grumbled. "I feel so much better that we're risking our hides to help them."
"Romulans are a proud race, Commander," Dylan explained. "The High Command does not want to appear weak by asking for our help, nor do they want to admit that illegal research like this could be taking place under their noses."
"It appears that we are taking a great deal of risk to help them maintain their dignity." Ezra pointed out.
"We are," Dylan agreed to that much. "However, we are also strengthening our diplomatic relations. After the Dominion War, we are not in a position to make enemies of the Romulans at least until the Federation strengthens Starfleet with more ships."
"I appreciate the situation," Chris said in a measured voice, still stinging from Dylan's reference to Vin as 'their Vulcan' as if Vin was a pet, not a Starfleet officer. The resentment in Dylan's voice towards the helmsman was obvious and Chris guessed that somehow, Dylan had learnt about Alex's attachment to Vin. "Unfortunately, you were not advised by Starfleet prior to our rendezvous at Deep Space Four about Vin's condition. It is delicate and sudden. He would not be any good to you during this mission, if anything he would be a liability."
Chris had no idea how hard it was to say such things about his friend until the words had left him. However, he had to make Dylan understand because Chris did not like anyone thinking Vin had shirked from his duty.
"What's wrong with him?" Dylan asked, still certain there was more to this than being divulged.
"That's none of your business." Chris said coldly. "That he is unavailable, is. Now, I've assigned Lieutenant Commander Styles and Standish to your Away team. My CMO tells us that he will be able to perform cosmetic surgery and on you to make you look like Romulans. Unfortunately, that's the best we can do under such short notice."
"Our bio readings can't be faked." Dylan retorted. "That's why we needed Tanner. He can walk through their scanners and pass for Romulan. Don't you think a facility as guarded as this one on Riga 3 would have genetic imprints of their personnel?"
"We have a way around that." Alex spoke up. "Our chief engineer and CMO have built a small device that will fit in our clothes and be able to resonate a small energy field which will give out readings consistent to that of Romulan biology."
"Its still risky." Dylan pointed out. "And I don't see why we need a tactical officer when your chief of security will do quite adequately. This ought to be a minimal complement Away Team captain."
Alex glared at him, aware of what his motivations were with this line of conversation. However before she could speak, Chris responded to Dylan's request.
"Commander, you are entering a hazardous environment with a very good chance that if you don't get yourselves killed while attempting to infiltrate the facility, you probably will when you try to leave it. Commander Styles and Standish have the ineffable quality of keeping that from happening, trust me I know."
Dylan frowned, not at all liking the idea that Alex would be going with him on the mission but Chris did not care. Chris' worries were about Vin at the moment, not a special envoy that had gone out of his way to be rude about matters he knew nothing about and had no right to question. When he did not receive any further comment from Dylan, Chris continued with the rest of the briefing.
"Now we depart Deep Space Four within the hour and will head directly for the Neutral Zone. According to the Romulan High Command, we are permitted to use our cloaking device when we penetrate into Romulan space so that will keep any patrols along the Neutral Zone from sighting us."
"What's our ETA at Riga 3?" Dylan inquired.
"16 hours." Buck answered. "We will be crossing the Neutral Zone in 4 hours."
"Well if you don't mind," Dylan turned to Chris. "I've been jumping off and on ships for the last two days. Is there a place where I could bunk down?"
"Commander Standish will show you." Chris said tautly.
"Thank you Captain." Dylan said graciously.
"If there's nothing more, we'll end here." The Captain rose to his feet first, protocol indicating that the others would soon follow. It was just as well, he decided. He had taken just about as much as he could in the company of Lieutenant Commander Pierce for the time being.
His skin.
When he arrived at Vin's quarters, Chris flinched at the sight of the two security men posted at the door, mostly because he had requested it. Vin's condition had made him dangerous to himself and everyone around him. As much as Chris had loathed to take the action, he had to protect his best friend from himself. Nathan had advised that when the urges became too much to suppress Vin would become excessively violent. As it was, Vin was easily the strongest male on board the Maverick. While he was not the only Vulcan on board, he was the only one who did not feel the need to suppress baser urges under the tight rein of logic. When he exerted his strength, he did it well and with perfect control. Vin was four times stronger than any human was but in the grips of the Pon Farr, he exceeded even that and could very well harm someone without actually realizing what he was doing.
The two security officers, one of which was Lieutenant Katovit, was not eager to see him enter the room but were aware of his relationship with Vin and thus made no comment. Chris pressed the chime, waiting for an answer.
"Who is it?" He heard Vin's voice asked tautly.
"Its Chris." He answered back. "Can I come in?"
Chris knew there was hesitation in the pause that followed before he heard a response. "Yeah."
Chris entered the room and was immediately confronted with the same destruction that Mary had been. He found Vin in more or less the same position, as if the sight of all those stars beyond his window could quell the raging fire inside of him. Chris made no comment as he crossed the floor and saw down on the sofa which had been apparently too large for Vin to flip for the time being.
"How you doing pard?" Chris asked quietly.
Vin did not seem to pay much attention to him, choosing to keep his cobalt colored eyes fixed on glass as he basked in his view of space. However, he did answer when Chris spoke. "People keep asking me that," he said quietly, his voice was shaky but the rages and harshness had subsided for the moment. "And I keep giving them the same answer."
"I know," Chris sighed. "We're just worried about you Vin."
His hard expression softened as he turned his eyes to Chris. "I can feel it creeping up on me. I'm trying hard not to let it take control but you don't know what this is like. I feel like I'm going crazy cooped up in this room but if I go outside, if I step out of here, I don't know if I can keep myself from finding her. I got these awful images in my head Chris. Kind of things no man ought to be thinking about women. I keep wondering what it must have been like for those Cardassians to be able to have her when they want her, to be able to make her do for them, what I want her to do for me."
Chris stomach hollowed a little and knew that every man had thoughts like that, deep in the secret places that kept the dark side of one's personality hidden from most. How many times had he wondered what it would be like to have a woman in complete power, to enjoy her, to make her enjoy him? However, those images were tempered with the notion that she would be pleasured too, not brutalized. He supposed in Vin's present state of mind, where so much was impulse and naked hunger, it was easy for the lines to get blurred. "Its not you Vin," Chris assured him with absolute confidence in this fact. "It's the Pon Farr."
"Chris," Vin's voice changed until it was almost as hard as flint. "If it gets really bad." He paused as he searched the words to tell his friend. "If it gets so that I lose my head, I want you to do what you go to keep me from hurting anyone."
"Vin it won't came to that." Chris stated firmly.
"You don't know how hard I'm fighting it." Vin returned, sucking his breath. "I need her so much. I feel her out there, needing me too. I keep seeing her in my head. I keep smelling her. Everything I am is dying to be with her but I know I'll hurt her the way I am right now, the way they hurt her. So please, I'm asking you to stop me if it becomes necessary. Kill me if you have to."
"I can't." Chris almost gasped out the word, unable to believe that Vin was asking this of him before he realized that who else would he ask? Chris was his best friend and the one person Vin could be assured of who would not let him down, no matter how imaginable what it was he was asking.
"You have to!" Vin hissed almost pleading. "I rather die than hurt her."
"I won't let you hurt get that far, Vin." Chris swallowed, every fiber of his being determined not to fail his friend in that statement. "I won't let you harm anyone and I won't give up on. We'll find a way to beat this thing somehow."
"If it was anyone else saying it, I wouldn't believe you know." Vin managed a smile as calmed down a little, confident that when the time came Chris would do what he asked. "How is she doing?"
"In two minds." Chris answered honestly.
"Probably ain't too happy to see Pierce." Vin remarked. In the periods of calm, Vin was able to look at things objectively and knew that he was right about that. Alex would not be happy to see Dylan if she was the one who had discontinued their engagement. Alex tended to keep her personal life separate and private from her friends. There were some thing she did not mind confiding to others but issues close to the heart did not fall into that category, as did anything to do with her stay in that Cardassian prison.
"It doesn't look it." Chris confirmed, hoping that would make Vin feel a little better. He sensed that Vin was a little jealous as well as intimidated by the presence of Alex's old love at this time. Chris could hardly blame him. If it were Mary's ex-fiancée, he would feel as equally uncomfortable as Vin did now. He guessed it had to be worse for Vin because, Pierce was able to give Alex what he could not; intimacy without harm.
"Does she want to see me?" He asked almost hesitantly, reluctant to show the captain just how much he missed her and appearing any weaker than he already did.
"I think so but Nathan doesn't think that's a good idea."
A burst of fury swelled up inside of Vin at the healer for keeping her away from him but Vin forced it away, knowing it was the Pon Farr that took such exception to that. The saner part of him knew it was a good idea and remembered that he had more or less suggested it to Nathan himself when he had been calmer. He had no idea what Alex's presence would do to him and a part of Vin was terrified to find out even though his gut ached for not being near her. There was this bubble inside of him, inflating, crushing his inside with this gut wrenching need for her. His mind could think of nothing else and would cajole and whisper in his ear even when he slept to go find her. The overload of stimulus that would arise from finally having her within reach was not something Vin wanted to endure.
"He's right." Vin confessed after a moment, the anger inside of him subsiding for now. "Who's going on the Away mission in my place?" He asked, hating to think that Alex would be on Riga 3 alone with her former lover.
"Ezra." Chris answered automatically, glad they had moved off the subject.
"Don't we need him on the ship?" Vin questioned.
"Yes," Chris admitted. "But he reckons Lieutenant Katovit can fill in for him and I've taken some added insurance in case we get into trouble?"
"Another Larabee hat trick?" The younger man asked, cracking his first real smile since Chris had entered the room. The Larabee hat trick was what the senior staff referred to Chris' ability to pull a victory when the odds seemed insurmountable.
"Something like that." Chris chuckled.
"I wish I could be there to help you pard." Vin said regretfully. "If I ain't on the mission, I at least ought to be on the bridge."
"I know," the captain agreed. "No one handles this bird the way you do."
"I'm sure someone will." He said sadly, turning to the stars again. The journey through warp was one of the most beautiful things in the universe, Vin thought to himself. The star whizzing past like comets against the dark satin of space made one feel infinitesimal in the cosmic design and tended to put problems into perspective.
If only it could this time.
The Maverick would be at Riga 3 in less than an hour and despite all the warnings she had received not only from Nathan but Ezra as well, Alex found herself making her way to Vin's quarters. She should have been in her quarters, readying herself for the mission ahead but Alex found she could not disembark the Maverick without at least making some attempt to see Vin. Dylan had caused such a furore about her being on the Away Team mission that Chris had finally conceded to keeping her involvement in the infiltration of the facility to a minimal. Thus only Dylan and Ezra would be entering the research facility itself, while she remained in the jungle out of harms way. Alex had not been happy at being shut out and suspected that Chris had ulterior motives for planning things this way. Unfortunately, the captain was not required to account for himself to junior officers so Alex had no alternative but to accept it.
Alex knew she should not be anywhere near Vin at this time but she could not leave the ship without seeing him. If anything were to happen to him during the mission, she would die never forgiving herself for not saying goodbye. Still, the idea of Vin not being here when she returned left Alex cold with fear. If she had her way, she would not even be going but the truth was, she owed Dylan too much to abandon him when he needed her. Even though things could never be as they once were, Alex still felt something for him that was more than guilt at breaking their engagement in years past.
When she arrived at the door, the two security officers immediately bombarded her with reasons why she could not enter. Alex hardly heard them and let herself in, not awaiting permission because she had a feeling Vin would deny it if she announced her presence. She stepped into the dark confines of the room and was revisited with her own tirade some months ago when Gul Lemar had arrived on the Maverick. Only this time the roles were reversed. It was he who was suffering uncontrollable fits of rage. She saw him in the corner of the room, hiding in the shadows almost as if he knew it was her and was afraid to let her see him. Suddenly, Alex wished she had not come here.
"You shouldn't be here." He said looking up a her. She could only see the blue of his eyes in the shadows, the rest of him was dark.
"I had to see if you were okay," she returned softly, pausing a few feet away from the wall he was pressed up against in a crouch.
"I'm not." He responded, his voice hoarse, strained, tortured.
"Vin, how can I help you?" She begged, wishing there was an answer. "I can't stand to see you like this. I...." the words would not come. She wanted to say them, felt them more for him than any other person in her life but still she could not say it out loud. To say it out loud would be to change everything.
"You can't help me," he had noted the words she could not say and decided to spare her the embarrassment of lying to him about what she had meant really.
"Make love to me." She said suddenly.
Vin's eyes flashed in its bluest depth. "I'll hurt you."
"I don't care." Alex declared closing the space between them. She knelt before him and took his face in her hands. Without giving him a chance to protest, Alex lowered her lips to his in a soft lingering kiss.
"Alex," he muttered through the heavenly touch of her lips against his. "This is wrong, I can't control myself."
"Don't," she continued kissing him, ignoring his concerns her passion grew. "I don't want you to die."
Vin tried hard to resist but his body was twisting inside from this intense craving for her and now that she was here, wanting him, touching him the way he had dreamed off, his restraints snapped and he reacted fiercely. Grabbing her hands, he began returning her kisses passionately, all the while forcing her down. Lowering her to the carpet, Vin moved on top of her, his body taut with intense need.
Vin crushed her with his weight; his body pressing against hers as his mouth covered her lips again. Alex could not breathe, once again revisited by those incredible sensations he had engendered in her during those brief minutes in her quarters. He groaned into her mouth as his tongue meat hers, aroused by the fact that she was no longer resisting him. Vin's entire body molded perfectly against her own, until Alex could feel every taut muscle against her flesh and the hardness of him that made her entire body tingle. She started not to care whether or not this was wrong. How he felt against her could not possibly make any of this wrong.
God, she felt so good!
His desire for her was fevered and he continued to plant kisses on her swollen lips. She was receiving him with as much hungry need as his own and his erection throbbed at the feel of soft breasts pressing up against his chest. He could feel the tightening points of her nipples and the sensation almost drove him wild beyond reason. His mouth slid down her neck, nibbling, biting, teasing while her fingers were moving through his hair, guiding him downwards. He pulled the fastenings of her blazer open, exposing the grey singlet beneath. Without giving much thought, he yanked the material away and exposed one plump breast. Alex was breathing hard, he could hear her anticipation. He could smell her need as she guided him toward that erect rosebud waiting for his touch.
He slipped it past his teeth and felt the tingle it produced on the tip of his tongue move swiftly through his body like electricity before filling his cock with unbelievable need. She moaned softly as his tongue started caressing that tiny nubbin of flesh, swirling and sucking around the erect tip. Her hands were running through his hair and he glanced up long enough to see her flushed with desire, the sweet delight she was experiencing contorting her face in an expression of pure pleasure. While he nursed hungrily on the one nipple, his hand kneaded her other breast hard until all he could hear was the sound of her voice moaning his name in heavenly sighs.
"Oh God Vin." She whispered breathlessly, beyond reason and beyond hope. "Don't stop."
He was going to take her, he told himself as his hand left her breast, forcing a sob of disappointment to escape her when his fist captured her hands. Vin slammed her wrists against the floor above her head, pinning her there as he suckled harder, feeling himself tip further over the edge as her body arched languidly towards him, pushing more of her into his mouth. He was going to do everything he wanted to do to her. Make love to her hard and fast, over and over again, until she screamed for him to stop, until she begged him to. He wanted to hear her beg, wanted to hear her moan as he rammed into her, wanted to do all those things he knew she wanted, even though she was telling him to stop....
Like a splash of cold water he realised what he was thinking and he shrank back from her.
God! What had he almost done?
"Vin?" Alex looked at him flustered and confused, somewhat dazed from the sudden cessation of that pleasant interlude. "What is it?" She came towards him and started kissing him again, taking his face in her hands as her lips met his.
"No!" Vin shrank back agonized. "Leave me!"
"I don't understand." She stammered, confused. "I thought....."
"JUST LEAVE!" He shouted. "GET OUT!"
The sound of his voice was like a slap in the face and she swallowed, trying to blink away the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes at any second. Distraught, she quickly fastened her blazer again as he turned away from her, feeling this terrible loathing churning his gut with such despair he was almost ready to kill her for causing him such pain.
"Vin, please..." she tried again. This time the tears did come and Alex hardly knew that she had lost her battle with them.
"I SAID GET OUT AND LEAVE ME ALONE!" He roared.
Turning on her heels, Alex fled out of the room, blinded by tears.
Alex was quiet when the Away Team prepared for departure in Transporter Room 2. Those who knew her noted the silence and sadness in her eyes and guessed that it was probably Vin who was the cause. However, neither Chris nor Ezra wanted to make mention of it. While she sometimes took people into her confidence, it was more often out of need rather than desire. She was a fiercely private person and Chris supposed that after what she had been through with the Cardassians, it was difficult for her to talk about anything personal without her believing it to be some violation of her privacy.
Still he found that he could not help but try, particularly when she was about to embark upon a dangerous mission that had the potential to end her life if anything were to go wrong. Ezra glanced at him, appearing as if he knew what Chris was going to do and seemed to approve. Ironically, Dylan Pierce noticed nothing. Chris had to blink twice when he saw the security chief, now dressed in the uniform of a Romulan centurion. Ezra's dark gold hair was now black and he had decidedly pointed ears. Dylan was dressed in more or less the same way but Ezra who was a consummate actor, seemed perfectly at ease in his disguise, even more so than Dylan who was a trained undercover operative.
"Alex can I talk you?" Chris said to her.
Alex who was in the process of packing her survival kit, left her gear on the floor and followed the captain who stepped to the corner of the room, no doubt indicating that he wanted a private audience. She guessed it had something to do with Vin although Alex hoped that he knew nothing of their encounter hours ago. The humiliation of that was too much for her.
"Alex are you sure you're up to this?" Chris asked the moment they were alone.
"I'm fine." She said shortly, a brief shimmer in her eyes indicating she was anything but that.
"You seem bothered." He remarked. "Vin?" He ventured a guess, unable to imagine it could be anything else.
Alex dropped her gaze, unable to meet his eyes because there would be too much revelation there regarding how she felt. "There's nothing I can do for him here." She replied. "I don't know how."
Chris understood her feelings of helplessness because he himself was gripped with the same emotions. Pon Farr was something neither of them could understand and all they seemed to know for certain was that it was very likely going to cost Vin his life because there was no simple cure to remedy the situation. Vin's salvation lay steeped in ages old traditions that were incompatible with the person he was. For all Chris knew, Vin might have a mate somewhere who was waiting for him but had no idea that he was even alive. After all, the Vin Tanner who returned from the Rim almost ten years after the crash that killed his family bore little resemblance to the Vulcan child he had been. His name had changed because Chris doubted he even remembered what his Vulcan name had been.
"Alex, its not your fault." Chris responded after a moment. "I don't know how to help him either but we're going to do everything we can for him." Chris let out a breath and discarded the persona of captain for a brief instance. "He's my best friend Alex," he admitted uncharacteristically. "I don't want anything to happen either. I'm not giving up hope and neither should you. I promise you, while you're gone, I'll do everything to make sure he's here when you come back."
Alex blinked, trying not to show how Chris effort had touched her. Though he offered no miracle answer, that he was determined not to give up on Vin made her feel tremendously better. "Thank you Chris."
It was not often she used his first name but the moment seemed to fit. The captain placed a hand on her cheek and responded. "You be careful alright." He ordered. "I don't want to tell Vin that you've been hurt when he finally pulls through."
Alex felt comforted that Chris had said 'when he pulled through' and not 'if'. The captain's confidence reinforced Alex's own wavering hopes regarding Vin's condition and she tried not to think of what had happened between them as something humiliating but his genuine need to stop himself before he harmed her in any way. Immediately following the encounter, Alex had felt mortified by how she had conducted herself. Vin had been powerless in the face of the temptation she provided and Alex felt as if she had failed him by not pulling back before things had escalated as out of control as they had.
"I'll be careful." She said firmly, with every intention of coming out of this mission with her skin intact. "Captain," Alex added before she lost the chance entirely. "I know this is going to be a difficult mission and that we have to maintain a silent running between the Away team and the ship, but if anything were to happen to him, please I want to know. I want to be there."
Chris held her gaze for a second, understanding what she was asking of him even though he prayed it would not come to that. Unfortunately, the situation as it stood made that outcome more or less an inevitability. However, despite the importance of this mission on Riga 3, he would not deny her the chance to say goodbye to Vin if they did indeed run out of options. He was willing to risk his command to do it because Lord knew, if he had any forewarning that Sarah and Adam was going to be taken from him, nothing would have stopped him from going home and saying goodbye.
"You will be," he swallowed. "I promise."
"Thank you Captain," Alex said softly, trying to hide the emotion in her voice. "Thank you."
"I can't get use to looking at you." Julia Pemberton replied as she saw Ezra in his Romulan disguise. Although she had told herself that she would not be coming to see him off at the transporter pad, not wanting to seem unprofessional, in the light of what he was going to do, she could not help it. She stood before him, trying to look brave even though this was a hazardous mission and if he and any of the Away Team were captured, the Romulans had every right to execute them for espionage.
"I assure you, this garb is temporary." Ezra answered with a smile, seeing the worry in her clear emerald eyes and knew she was putting up a brave front for his benefit. "The mission should not take more than a few hours and then I expect to be back on board."
Still the concern did not waver from her expression and Ezra supposed that it was unreasonable to expect that it should. She was no fool. She had to be aware of the risks if the mission failed and the outcome of all their futures if they were captured by the Romulans. "Julia," he said taking her small shoulders in his hands, "I will be back."
"I know." She answered with a slight nod. "I just can't help worrying about you."
"It is what I do." He reminded her.
"I know that too," she said trying not to get too emotional but knew that she couldn't keep herself from being anything else when there was a possibility that she could lose him. Julia loved him like she had never loved anyone before and his death was unimaginable. "Sometimes I just wished it wasn't."
"Its no easier for me when you are in engineering during a battle you know?" He pointed out. "I cannot tell you the number of times it has terrified me that you are so close to the warp core when that is our enemy's primary target during an attack. I have fears that the warp core will breach or be flooded with radiation and there is no way I can protect you from the bridge."
"I guess so." She muttered feeling like a child that he had to pacify until his return. With a start, she realised that she was doing him no good behaving in this manner, especially when he was about to face whatever dangers awaiting him on the planet's surface. She did not want him to leave the ship, with her worries and fears adding extra weight to his burden. Brightening up considerably through a Herculean effort on her part, Julia brought a smile to her lips. "So you better go down there and do what you have to get back up here. Huxley and I will be waiting."
"Did you have to bring up that temperamental feline?" Ezra groaned remembering the scratch marks on the leg of his antique Tudor chair. He had almost been tempted to introduce the kitten to the airlock when he realised that he would never get away with telling Julia that it had accidentally wandered in there and got jettisoned into space, even if he said it was an honest mistake.
"Oh Huxley loves her daddy." Julia teased, loving the expression of utter annoyance on Ezra's face at that remark and knew that Huxley had just earned her keep for that accomplishment alone.
"I....am.....not...her...daddy." Ezra returned in a voice that could turn deutronium brittle with cold.
"Ezra," Julia continued to tease, trying to make them both laugh so that they did not have to be reminded that just a few minutes from now, he would be transporting to a Romulan stronghold. "If you're going to behave like this, I have to wonder how you will be with our children."
"Children?" Ezra started to stutter. "We are not even occupying the same abode!"
"Ezra, don't you want children?" Julia asked joking.
"I did not even want a cat!" He exclaimed and then noticed her snigger before realising that he had been played and well. "Have you sufficiently amused yourself my dear?" He asked sarcastically, inwardly pleased that she was not as frightened for him as she was.
"Enough until you get back." She answered with warm smile. "And you make sure you come back." She said authoritatively, like she was giving him an order even though technically, he outranked her.
"I promise you I will return to you," he took her hand and held it to his lips, not caring who saw and how inappropriate it appeared for two senior officers to be showing each other such open displays of affection. "And Huxley."
"If you're done." Dylan Pierce's voice shattered the tenderness of the moment with his impatience.
Ezra could see the man was bothered by the show of emotion being shared between him and Julia. He supposed he would feel just as envious in the man's position, considering Alex was standing only a few feet away in discussion with Chris, regarding Vin no doubt. It was obvious that he still harbored feelings for Alex and though Ezra had no personal liking for the man, he could appreciate the open wound Dylan was sporting at seeing the love of his life reject him for someone else.
"We are done Mr Pierce." Ezra glimpsed at Julia and conveyed the rest of their farewell silently without need for words. She nodded slightly that worried expression crossing her face again, even though it was not as overt as the last time.
"Captain," Dylan turned to Chris. "We should be going."
Chris faced the commander with a glint in his eyes telling the junior officer that on his ship, he decided when the Away Team was ready to go to the surface. "I am well aware of that Commander." Chris responded aloofly.
He knew that Dylan was anxious to get started not because of any need to get the mission over and done with but rather because he was angry at the obvious affection being displayed by Julia and Ezra. Chris has no intention of allowing this man to rob the other members of his friends to make their farewells to each other, especially because he had personal issues of his own. At Dylan's words, Alex slipped past the captain and stepped onto the transporter pad, not wishing to give Dylan more opportunity to complain when it would only serve to provoke the captain. Julia did the same, pulling away from Ezra and took the transportation station.
"Ezra you have the transponder." Chris spoke to the security chief, trying to avoid making any other comment to Dylan. "The minute anything goes wrong, you activate it and we'll have you back on the ship in no time."
"That is gratifying to know." Ezra remarked glancing at his boot where the device had been neatly secreted from view. "Although you might want to keep scanning for neutrino signals. We may be cloaked at the moment but that does not mean the Romulans do not have a way to detect us. Their experience with cloaking technology far outweighs our own."
"I'll keep that in mind." Chris nodded, knowing that advice from Ezra was not to be ignored. The man was extremely good at what he did and had sixth sense for trouble, which was probably how he managed to play those killer card games of his.
With that, Ezra joined Dylan and Alex on the transporter pad. The trio did not appear nervous although Dylan was trying hard not to look at Alex, while the science officer's mind was probably fixated on Vin.
"Julia," he glanced at the petite Chief Engineer. "Do you have the coordinates for their landing site?"
"Keyed in and waiting your order." Julia answered, glancing at Ezra as she said that. However, in less than an instant, her eyes were fixed on the control station before her again.
"Good," Chris nodded shortly and faced his Away team again. "We'll be waiting here for you." He stated firmly. "I won't leave anyone behind. If you get into trouble, just use your transponder and I'll have you out of there. The mission is important but not that important to risk three lives." His eyes shifted to Dylan before he added, "no matter who they are."
Dylan shrugged uncomfortably at the statement but nonetheless took the sentiment in the spirit it was given. "Thank you Captain," he met Chris' gaze. "That's good to know."
"Likewise Sir." Ezra agreed.
"Julia engage." Chris ordered and then added as the low whine of the transported filled the room with its resonance. "Good luck."
After the Away Team had departed the ship, Chris made his way to Vin's quarters, guessing that the Vulcan was probably even more miserable now that Alex was off the ship. He could imagine the guilt Vin must be feeling at being forced to remain on the ship when the woman he loved was undertaking a dangerous mission in hostile territory, especially when he should have been apart of the Away Team. Chris refused to let himself be mired about the probabilities of failure for those were always high when it came to missions in Romulan space. The Romulans were arrogant and superior, mostly because they were an efficiently ruthless race. If the Away Team for one moment forgot that, the Maverick would never get anyone of them back alive.
When he arrived at Vin's quarters, he saw Nathan practically running out of the room. Following close behind was a bowl of food, which promptly shattered when it met the hard obstruction of the corridor wall. Beef Stroganoff when in all directions as the receptacle it had been held in crumbled on impact. The two security officers reached for their weapons but Nathan quickly gestured that it was all right, even though the healer did appear somewhat shaken.
"It's alright." Nathan said appeasing the two security officers who looked at him with concern. "Just leave him be."
"Nathan, what's going on?" Chris asked, announcing his presence to the doctor. "Did Vin just throw that at you?" He glanced briefly at the streaks of food sliding down the wall to the gooey mess at the base of it.
Nathan regarded Chris with a decidedly anxious look on his face and nodded. "Yeah he did, he admitted reluctantly. "The drugs are no longer working Chris."
Chris sucked in his breath at the news. In truth, he should not have been surprised but he had been hoping that there would be some miracle solution at the horizon, they just had to wait it out. Even as he stood before Nathan in the corridor, he could hear the sounds of destruction behind the door. Vin was on an almighty path of destruction inside its confines and the crashing noises of breakage that everyone was trying to ignore without much success.
"What can we do?" He asked almost desperately.
"There's nothing more I can do." Nathan answered, wishing it were anything but so. "I've given him all the drugs I can give him. His system is so loaded right now it would kill a human. He's barely noticing it. His metabolism is running like a locomotive."
Chris could tell that Nathan was bringing himself and his captain to a place he did not want to go but Chris had to know. "How long?" He asked, sparing Nathan the trouble of trying to find some way to tell him.
"A day, two at the most." Nathan said abruptly and even the security guards behind Chris stared at the healer in shock. "His body will keep running the way it has until his heart gives out. The imbalance itself will affect the brain first and then progress to the rest of his body, respiration, kidney functions, they'll all shut down."
"Jesus Christ." Chris' voice escaped in a harsh whisper. "We have to do something...."
"I'm doing everything I can Chris...." Nathan responded feeling just as helpless. "The fact is, he needs a mate. He needs to physically and mentally bond with a mate."
"I want to see him." Chris turned to Vin's door.
"Captain that is inadvisable." Lieutenant Yoshi immediately spoke up. "He is extremely volatile at this moment."
"Chris I hate to admit but he's right." Nathan declared. "Vin's almost savage."
"He's my friend and I am not going to let him go through this alone!" Chris barked.
The sharpness of his voice ended any protest verbally but Lieutenant Yoshi was not about to let his captain go into a dangerous situation without any protection. Removing his phaser, he handed it to Chris. "Its set for stun Sir."
Chris wanted to refuse it but then realized that the young lieutenant was only doing the job Chris expected him to do to the best of his ability. Besides, if Chris were to get hurt, Ezra would probably have the lieutenant's hide for allowing him to go into Vin's room in the first place.
"Thank you." He answered taking the weapon before he continued his journey to the door.
This time, Chris did not announce himself when he entered. He doubted that Vin would have been able to hear him with all the racket the Vulcan was making. The damage Chris had seen earlier was nothing in comparison to the complete destruction he now faced. Furniture had been broken, the obvious cause being a fist through most of it. The soft cushioning material of the upholstery littered the floor, everything that had meant anything to Vin was shattered, smashed, some even pulverized. There were visible dents in the wall, knuckles leaving their indentations after being delivered with unbelievable fury. Vin was on his haunches when Chris entered and the captain stopped short at the sight of his friend.
Vin was covered in sweat, his hair hanging down his ears in wet strips, his eyes were almost black and unreadable while his face was fixed in a scowl of menace. He was poised like an animal about to attack and his muscles were slick and shiny from the readiness to pounce. Chris suddenly felt very glad that he had the phaser when the doors slid close behind him. He walked in deep enough to be seen but paused a few feet away from the helmsman. Instinct told him it would not be voice to make a further approach.
"Vin." Chris spoke up finally.
He did not answer but continued to stare.
Chris suddenly felt like the zebra that had inadvertently stumbled into the lion's den.
"Vin, can you hear me?" Chris asked again, hoping to reach the part of his friend that was now coexisting with all that rage and animal instinct.
"I hear you." Vin surprised him by answering.
"Vin, you're giving us a bit of a scare." Chris pointed out. "You need to try and calm down."
"I'm just fine." Vin replied, his voice brittle. "Be better if you let me out of here."
"I'm sorry I can't. You're not well." Chris answered automatically.
"I want her." Vin said in a low voice full of threat and sounded like broken glass. Chris did not have to ask who he meant.
"She's not on the ship any more Vin." Chris responded, not about to let Vin anywhere near Alex in the condition he was presently in. "She's on the mission."
"With him." Vin sneered, his eyes narrowing. His muscles flexed, rage rippled through them before culminating in the slight spark that look like flints being struck in his eyes.
"Vin," Chris did not want to answer that question because he had a feeling that he would not like the reaction he would receive. "Try and fight it Vin."
"She's mine." The helmsman hissed starting to rock slightly, preparing to lunge "She's my mate! I won't let him have her!"
"She's not yours Vin," Chris returned even though he rebuked himself a second later. "She belongs to no one except maybe herself."
"SHE'S MINE! I'LL KILL HIM BEFORE I LET HIM HAVE HER. NOW YOU LET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"
Chris had barely a second after that scream left Vin's lips when the helmsman sprung at him like a savage animal. Chris reacted swiftly and pulled the trigger hoping to God that Yoshi had been right about it being set to stun. The energy beam struck the Vulcan dead center, cutting short his advance towards Chris. Vin went sprawling backward, falling on top of an already damaged chair and completed its destruction when it collapsed under his weight. Chris remained frozen for a few seconds, unable to believe he had been forced to shoot. Once he was certain Vin was not getting up, Chris pushed himself to his feet and went to check on him. The Vulcan's pulse such at it was, indicated that he was alive. Overhead, the sound of klaxon screamed through the air as the entire ship was alerted to an authorized weapon's discharge.
"Captain, are you alright?" Yoshi asked anxious, bursting into the room, his Andorian companion next to him and Nathan Jackson close behind.
"I'm fine." Chris responded shortly, handing the young man his phaser back again.
"Did he...." Nathan asked.
Chris did not answer the doctor, turning instead to his security officers. "I want a Level 1 force field on this door. Two guards posted at all times. He does not come out for any reason and no one sees him except Nathan and myself understand? In particular any female personnel."
For the first time since this had all began, Chris actually believed that Alex was safer on Riga 3 than she was on the Maverick.