SERIES/UNIVERSE: SG-7
DISCLAIMER: M7 characters belong to MGM, Trilogy, CBS, and TNN. The characters from Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM, Gekko, and Showtime. I'm notmaking any money from writing this story, I just love to write. Adriana is mine, as are Priscilla Meadows (and her students, except Will and Charlotte Richmond, who also belong to Trilogy, et al.), Carly Tucker, and Dawn Jackson (okay, so is Detective McCoy). You're welcome to borrow them, as long as you ask first, and return them intact.
SPOILERS: Mainly my twisted version of Wagon Train, Manhunt and Vendetta, references to The Collector.
WARNING: Original characters, some violence, nasty language in certain sections, and this is gonna be a LONG story. I'm covering three years in this story, so it's gonna be long. It's not gonna be 'day by day,' just the highlights, but it's still gonna be long.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This begins in 1992, eight and a half years before the events in The Light in the Distance.
By Adriana's reckoning, they had maybe thirty minutes before the others arrived. That was, of course, assuming that the Nichols brothers had joined forces with Reverend Moseley. Adriana still didn't know why she felt so strongly that this was the case, but her gut told her that it was true. She wasn't willing to ignore her instincts ... and wasn't it better to be safe than sorry? Especially when the life of an innocent child was at stake?
An innocent child. Adriana took a deep breath, then released it. The anger was still there, but it was being channelled now. And honestly, she was more than a little embarrassed now by her rather strong reaction. She still couldn't believe she had taken a swing at Chanu. But she had fought her rage all the time she was driving, and then, seeing them ... asleep. The memory had returned in full force ... seeing Vin lying on his side. And the rage had exploded. She had, in fact, been so angry, she didn't realize that Vin's arms were around her waist until after the anger had died away.
And even then, she hadn't been angry with him. He had touched her without her permission, but she hadn't given him much of a choice. If Vin hadn't grabbed her when he did, Adriana probably would have tried to beat the living shit out of Chanu, and that wouldn't have done any good. Well, it would have made her feel better, but it wouldn't have done any good with the problem they were now facing. With the Moseleys, or with Claire.
Adriana couldn't talk to Claire. For one thing, she was too busy running through the lessons Vin had given her with the rifle. Once Chanu signalled that their adversaries had arrived, the confrontation would be taken outside. Vin and Koje had agreed that there would be a chance for things to be cleared up, without bloodshed.
For another, Adriana simply had nothing to say to Claire ... and she had no energy. She was tired and in a rather bad mood. Claire, however, had quite a few things to say. And she was determined to say them, regardless of Adriana's willingness to listen. Or not listen, as the case may be. She asked, "What exactly makes you angriest, Adriana? Is it finding Tanner? The credit card? The lies? Me leaving without saying good-bye to you?"
Adriana didn't reply, and Claire whispered, "Dammit, Adriana, I don't want things to end like this between us! All I've ever wanted to was protect you!" Now Adriana did look up from her preparations, and she hoped her flat-out disbelief was reflected in her eyes. Claire shook her head and asked, "What will it take for you to believe me? I never wanted anyone to get hurt! I just wanted to make a life with the man I love."
"I honestly don't give a shit about the application. I could put up with the lies, at least for a while. It takes its toll eventually, but I could have held on a little longer. But I found my friend lying unconscious in our room because your husband tried to strangle him with the belt cord of my robe ... and you didn't have the decency to say good-bye, even in a note!" Adriana hissed. She stared at Claire, the rage once more building in her soul, and continued, "I may have ruined my friendship with Vin, because of this. He trusted me, Claire, and he thought I trusted him."
Adriana looked away, angry with herself for once more becoming angry. Claire started to speak, then fell silent. After a moment, she said softly, "I never meant to make you choose. No one should ever have to choose between two people dear to them. You never made me choose between you and Chanu. I'm sorry for putting you in that position. I'm sorry for ... I'm sorry for lying to Tanner about you, telling him that you knew about the credit card all along."
And then, there was no more time to talk. Chanu's signal rang out, and Adriana frowned, trying to locate them. Then she saw them as well, and her mouth tightened. Shit. She had been right. She hated being right sometimes. She eased herself out of the window sill, and grabbed the rifle as she did. Claire stood up at the same time, even as Chanu swung back into the loft from one of the other windows.
"Three cars," he reported, not even winded, "Tanner says that you were right, that it is the Nichols. And one of the cars belong to Claire's family." Adriana nodded, striding to the stairs. She had a nasty feeling that things were just about to get ugly. And what is Bucklin always saying, she thought as she slung the rifle over her shoulder, that he hates ugly. She was glad her brother wasn't here. Although, she wouldn't mind having Chris around ... he was handy with his pistol. Not as good a shot as Vin was, but there weren't many around who were. This was thought with more than a touch of pride in her friend.
Never mind that. She made her way down the ladder and walked to Vin's side. She was trying her best not to think about what would happen after this was over. The truth was, she had very little experience with male friends. Come to think of it, she had very little experience with female friends. And she had never been in a situation like this ... well, not this current situation, but also had never betrayed anyone she cared about before, and she had no idea what came next. If anything came next at all.
Why didn't anyone ever say that friendship was hard work? Up until now, her friendships with Claire and Vin had both been clear sailing. She knew she really didn't want to lose either friendship, but she wasn't ready to forgive Claire, and she didn't know if Vin was ready to forgive her. There was something else, too. Would Vin be all right in the coming fight? She had promised Dawn that she would look after him, but could she look after him if there was a fight?
She could answer none of those questions now. She could only wait as people emerged from all three cars. David and Peter Nichols from one car ... their mother and brothers from another ... and Reverend Moseley and his son from the last one. Meanwhile, Vin, Adriana, Koje, Claire and Chanu stood in a line, just within the barn. Vin glanced at Koje, who nodded, and then all five moved forward. A quick glance told her that Chanu and Claire were holding hands.
"That's far enough, you misbegotten devil ... let my daughter go!" bellowed the reverend. Oh lord. He was going into one of his drama routines. That was what Adriana called them at least ... drama routines or hellfire and damnation routines. They were actually interchangeable, and happened when he started sounding like one of those televangelists who so irritated Adriana. As one, the five halted.
"I'm not going anywhere with you, Daddy. I'm staying, with my husband," Claire said quietly, taking a step forward. She hadn't released Chanu's hand, but held to it tightly. Adriana saw something flash across Rafe Moseley's young face ... shock? Disbelief? Claire must have seen it as well, for she said, "Daddy didn't tell you. I knew he wouldn't ... I told him last night, when the police found Chanu and me ... we're married. I'm with him of my own free will."
"She's lying! Can't you see that ... that ... demon spawn put a spell on her! He's in league with her bitch roommate! He got her to put a spell on your sister! Made her turn against God, and against us, Rafe!" the minister exclaimed. Adriana barely stifled her giggle. Chanu had gotten her to put a spell on Claire, huh?
"That would be kinda hard, since Chanu doesn't even like me. Why would he ask me to do anything? Much less put a spell on Claire?" Adriana pointed out, folding her arms over her chest. The reverend's face twisted with hatred and he started forward, but Rafe's hand snaked out and clamped down hard on his father's forearm, spinning him around to face Rafe. Adriana continued, "There's one other hole in your reasoning. I don't know any spells."
"Go on home ... there is no fight here. No girl to be rescued. Go home," Koje told the Nichols brothers and their mother. Mrs. Nichols was glaring at the reverend steadily, her face twisted with hatred. The reverend hadn't quite figured it out, but he had just made himself a powerful enemy. That was fine by Adriana. Maybe if the reverend was busy with Mrs. Nichols, he would leave his daughter and son-in-law alone.
"Ohhh, I wouldn't say there ain't a fight here, old man. I know you, Tanner. You caused me trouble before. I think it's time we had a settling of accounts," Peter Nichols drawled. Adriana looked at Vin, worried, but he was staring calmly at the young man. Adriana, however, was worried enough for both of them. She didn't trust Peter Nichols to fight fair.
"Sounds about right to me," one of the other brothers chimed in, coming up to stand beside Peter. Adriana couldn't keep track of the brothers, aside from Peter and David, but this younger brother continued, "A settling of accounts seems like a fair thing to me." Adriana started forward, but Koje put an arm around her waist, and stopped her as the two brothers approached Vin. Adriana cast a desperate look at Mrs. Nichols, but the woman was doing nothing.
"Very well ... but if your brother stands with you, then I will stand with Tanner," Chanu said, carefully breaking free from Claire's hold and stepping to Vin's side. The younger of the two Nichols boys in the fight started to protest, but Chanu glared at him and said, "I attacked this man, left him unconscious in my wife's dorm. He came to warn us, and to fight by my side. I will not abandon him now, when two cowards threaten him."
Ouch. That had to hurt. With his free hand, Koje grabbed Claire and pulled both her and Adriana out of the way. That seemed to be a signal of some kind, because the fight began almost immediately. The strange thing was, the younger Nichols boy took a swing at Chanu ... but the signal didn't matter. The first punch didn't matter ... and as Rafe Moseley took a step forward, for whichever side, David Nichols stopped him.
"You want to help ... you help your sister," Adriana heard David tell the boy. Rafe looked over at them uncertainly, as if he knew Claire had realized he was the one who told their father about this place. And he wasn't sure if she would forgive him any time soon.
But after a moment, his chin lifted and his eyes met theirs almost defiantly. He looked back at David and nodded decisively. The oldest Nichols boy released him, and Rafe skirted around the four fighters, coming to stand beside Claire. Adriana looked away from the fight, just long enough for her to see the forgiving glance that passed between sister and brother. It was also long enough for Vin to hit the ground. And as she glanced back, Peter Nichols kicked the other man in the side.
The familiar rage surged through Adriana and she once more tried to go to his side, but Koje maintained his hold on her, hissing, "No! This is his battle, from long before he knew you. I know you are afraid for him, but you must let him finish this. If you care for him as much as I think you do, you will have faith in him." Have faith in him. Adriana watched as Vin struggled to his feet. Have faith. Could she have faith, or was all of hers gone?
Claire watched as her husband fought the younger Nichols brother ... what was his name, any how? She couldn't remember hearing. A movement from the corner of her eye showed that Adriana had been fully prepared to go to Vin Tanner's side.
However, Koje had stopped her almost immediately and told her gruffly to have faith. Have faith? In what? A friend who had betrayed her? In a man who was still weak from the attack in Claire's room? In a man whom she had no reason to trust? But Koje was heeded, and Adriana sagged in his arms, as if her legs couldn't hold her any more. They were both exhausted ... had it only been this morning when Claire had returned to her dorm room after her wedding in Las Vegas?
Claire's gaze drifted back to the fighters. Despite the takedown earlier, Tanner was on his feet again and trading punches with Peter Nichols. Nichols had said there was unfinished business between them ... no, it was a settling of accounts. Tanner had caused trouble for Nichols in the past, and Claire couldn't help thinking that he was good at that. But no. That wasn't fair, either. Tanner hadn't caused trouble for her and her husband. That had been her father's doing. And her own. Now, she could understand why Adriana felt as she did about secrets. Things would have never come to this, if she had just been honest. If she had just stood up to her father from the beginning, instead of being such a coward.
And what was he doing, dragging the Nichols family into this? Of course, how could she be so stupid? He wanted the additional firepower, in a manner of speaking. He had come, fully prepared to drag his weak, simpering daughter away from her husband. But Claire had surprised everyone, including herself, by refusing to leave her husband. Chanu. Now fighting someone else's battle. Someone who had been willing to do what it took, to free Chanu.
Chanu slugged the Nichols boy, and he went down. At the same time, Peter Nichols collapsed into the dirt, with an exhausted Vin Tanner standing over him. Two of the younger brothers came forward, to take on Tanner and Chanu, but David stopped them both. He looked at his mother and said, "It has to stop, Ma. We were brought here under false pretenses. This isn't our fight, and what was our fight has been settled. This was between Tanner and Peter. It's been settled. Now let's go home."
Mrs. Nichols didn't look too sure, even to Claire, who didn't even know the woman. David continued, "Ma, listen to me. You said, after Peter attacked that kid in the cafe, that we didn't want Tanner as our enemy. And you were right ... but what you didn't know was that Tanner wasn't alone. That others will fight alongside him. But we know that now, Ma. Do we really want a war, because Peter picked on a kid who was smaller than him? Don't we have to choose our battles?"
There were several moments of silence, as Mrs. Nichols looked at her eldest son. Claire used that time to move to her husband's side. Koje released Adriana, who planted herself beside Tanner. Claire's roommate had folded her arms over her chest, a defiant tilt to her head. David Nichols had just said they had to choose their battles. So did Claire ... so did Adriana. And they had made their choices.
One of the younger Nichols boys started to protest, but their mother held up her hand. That was all she did. She looked first at Claire, then at Adriana. Claire couldn't read her eyes, couldn't figure out what she was thinking. Then she looked at her sons, both lying on the ground.
Claire wondered if Mrs. Nichols understood what could have happened. The young wife glanced over at Tanner, who wasn't looking really steady. She could almost see the bruises on his throat, and she winced. His face was bruised and bloody, and she was sure that if someone took off his shirt, bruises would cover his torso as well. But he was still upright. Adriana stood nearby, her small body placed in such a way that she could easily protect him, if need be.
Protect him. Just as Claire would protect Chanu. Oh, he would try to stop her, especially now that he knew she was pregnant. But there were many ways to protect someone you loved. One of the younger boys whined, "They kicked our ass, Ma ... are we gonna let an Indian and some piece of poor white trash get the best of us! We can take them, Ma, it ain't gonna be hard! Look at 'em, Tanner can barely stand upright!"
"Oh, and what about the two girls? You gonna beat up a couple of women, brat? I thought Ma taught you better than that," David growled. He swept his arm toward Claire and Adriana, adding, "This isn't just about Tanner any more! They're not afraid of us! You attack those girls, you know what's gonna happen? We'll all die. All of us. Let it go! It's not worth it! Peter lost to Tanner in a fair fight. And I will stand with him, before I allow this to go any further." All heard his mother's gasp.
He turned his gaze to his mother, saying, "Yes, Ma, family is most important of all. But I wouldn't be doing it for Tanner. I'd be doing it for my brothers. Bullies come to bad ends, and I don't want any of my brothers to end up like that. Eventually, bullies pick on someone whom they can't take ... and then it's all over. Let it go, Ma. Just let it go." Claire held her breath, and at the same time, held her hand out to Adriana.
There was the barest hint of hesitation, then Adriana took it. They formed a human chain, Chanu, Claire, Tanner, and Adriana. And Mrs. Nichols stared at that chain for several moments. At last, she said quietly, "David is right. This has been settled. Peter doubted that Tanner could take him in a fair fight, and he was proven wrong. Do you love that man, girl?" It took Claire a moment to realize that Mrs Nichols was addressing her, and by that time, it was too late. The woman had continued, "Of course you do. You stand beside him. Always stand beside him, girl. I would be proud to call you 'daughter.' Be happy."
This was so unexpected from the head of one of the worst crime families in the area. Claire wasn't sure how to respond, but finally said, "Thank you. We will. And I'm sorry you were dragged into this. But I am a grown woman, and I do know my mind. And I do love Chanu." Mrs. Nichols inclined her head. She looked at Adriana, but said nothing. After a moment, she motioned her sons to come along. No additional threats, of what would happen, the next time Tanner crossed their paths. Just the remaining boys picking up their two brothers, and heading back to the cars.
It was over, then. Claire took a deep breath and released Adriana's hand, smiling faintly at her friend. Adriana just nodded, taking several deep breaths herself. A small bridge had been built, but for now, that was enough. Claire leaned into Chanu's embrace. His arms tightened around her and he rested his chin atop her head.
It was over. Never, when she had thought about this confrontation, had she even considered that it would end like this. Tanner and Adriana standing beside them, David Nichols intervening. Rafe struck dumb with the revelation that she and Chanu were married ... all right, that part had been expected. And her father ... oh, no. Where was her father? He had been too silent during the last few minutes, and she had learned to worry when that happened.
"Nooooooooooo! I won't accept this! I will not accept this! My daughter belongs at home, in the presence of God! Not with some murdering savage!" an all-too familiar voice bellowed. Claire closed her eyes. All right. So it wasn't quite over. She pulled back, to remove herself from her husband's embrace, and face her father down, but it wasn't necessary. As her father strode toward them, Tanner and Adriana moved as one to protect the couple.
That wasn't necessary, either. A furious, howling force plowed into her father from behind, screaming incoherently. It took Claire a few seconds to realize that the force was her brother. It took her several seconds after that to realize what he was screaming, "You bastard! You bastard! You lied! You lied to me! You could have gotten Claire killed! And I helped you! I betrayed my own sister!"
Claire looked up at Chanu, and this time, he released her. The girl moved swiftly to her younger brother's side. Tears were pouring down his face as he throttled their father. David had interceded to protect his brothers from descending further toward bullyhood ... Claire now intervened to protect her own younger brother from becoming a killer. She went to her brother's side and gently put her hand on his shoulder.
When he didn't jerk away at her touch, she put her arms around him and physically pulled him away from their father. Rafe collapsed against her, still sobbing and apologizing, begging for her forgiveness. Claire rocked him, as if he was still a child after he had a nightmare. So many of those after their mother had died. She looked up and saw Chanu watching her. She smiled, seeing the look in his eyes. It took little to realize he was imagining her with their child.
"Reckon m' part in this is done," a raspy voice announced. Claire looked over at Tanner. Under the bruises, his face was ashen, and he was swaying on his feet. Claire looked at her roommate, who was already reaching for him. Tanner muttered, "Aw hell." Then his eyes rolled up and his legs gave way. Adriana grabbed him as he fell, and instead of trying to hold him upright, gently lowered him to the ground, cradling him against her body. Now it was over.
"When was the last time you talked to Adriana?"
The question wasn't entirely unexpected. Nor was the source of the question. He should have known better than to come here, if he wanted to get away from thinking about his friend. But there were repairs to be done, and Vin Tanner had always found that hard work kept him from thinking too much. Most of the time at least. The young bounty hunter turned to face his questioner, moving easily down the ladder at the same time.
Koje was watching him almost sadly, and Vin had a pretty good idea what the chief was thinking. Nearly two weeks had passed since the confrontation with Reverend Moseley and the Nichols brothers. Most of that time, Vin had spent healing ... his throat had been bruised, he had a bump on his head and the ribs that had finished healing were bruised again during the fight with Peter Nichols at the barn. Mostly, however, he had rested. By the time he collapsed into Adriana's arms, he had been exhausted from the fights and his worries for his friend.
It had also been nearly two weeks since he had last seen Adriana. He had awakened in her arms as they drove to the hospital. Chanu had insisted on a proper exam for Claire, and Vin needed care as well. Claire had ridden with Chanu, naturally, while Koje had taken Adriana's car. While Vin remained at the hospital, Chanu had returned to the barn and dropped his father off to retrieve his own car.
That still left Adriana unaccounted for. She had been in the waiting room as he was being wheeled into an examining room. But he hadn't seen her since. When he emerged from the examination a few hours later (after getting some much needed rest), she was gone. According to Claire, Dawn and Carly had arrived at the hospital soon after, and Carly took Adriana's car back to the dorm while Dawn drove herself back. After chewing out Claire royally, a reaming which Claire had expected, but Chanu still opposed.
Chanu, on the other hand, was someone Vin saw on a daily basis. Despite their rocky beginning, the two young men were slowly becoming friends, especially once Vin began helping with repairs at the reservation. Chanu was still living on the reservation where he had grown up, at least while he was continuing his education. In January, when the new semester began, he and Claire would be living in the house which Vin was now helping to renovate.
In the meantime, Claire was busy, trying to keep her head above water with her finals. As was Adriana. Vin said, barely able to meet Koje's eyes, "Not in two weeks. She's been real busy with finals and papers to write. I been busy, too. I swear everyone goes plumb loco, 'round the holidays. Seems every time I bring in a bounty, there's five or six more to catch." Koje wasn't convinced. Hell, for that matter, neither was Vin. He knew that he was avoiding the campus for any reason, because he wanted to avoid Adriana Wilmington. That little thing scared the hell outta him, because she had every right to be furious with him.
"She doesn't blame you, you know. The only person who blames you, is you, Vin. Adriana is on Christmas break soon. She may go see her brother. And things happen. Do you really want things to end like this between you?" Koje asked. Unbidden, an image appeared in Vin's mind of his mother dying. Ma wouldn't want that for him. There were so many things left to be said before she died, but he was only five. He didn't know how to say them.
Well, he wasn't five no more. He was nineteen. And Koje was right, it was time to stop running. Vin was ashamed of himself, really, for not having more courage. It was just that ... every time he would pick up the phone to call Adriana, he could see again the look in her eyes when he had accused her of betraying his trust. And knowing that she had caught him when he passed out, that she was ready to stand by his side ... knowing that she believed he was right ... that made it hurt all the worse.
Vin looked at Koje, who smiled and said, "I talked with Priscilla this morning. The dorm is too noisy during finals week, so Adriana studies at the library. She and Claire are still working things out ... they take their meals together, but the rest of the time, Adriana is at the library. I understand from Priscilla that you've been known to walk her home from the library, especially after dark?" This was said with a lift of his eyebrow.
Vin found himself blushing, and Koje added, "Of course, I also heard this story from Adriana, when my youngest daughter was complaining about there being so few gentlemen left in the world. Go to her, Vin. She's too ashamed to face you." Vin frowned at that, and Koje said, "Maybe 'ashamed' is too strong a word. But she values your friendship greatly, and she fears losing your trust. I think you already know that, though."
"Reckon I do," Vin whispered. He had done a lot of thinking in the last few weeks. At first, he had been angry when he realized he would have to make the first move. Adriana was too damn scared of being rejected ... again. And since he was the first real male friend she had, that was a very real possibility to her. Will Richmond and Doug Andrews were friends ... sort of ... but Vin and Adriana were the same age, and despite their different lives, they were equals.
So, Adriana had no idea whether or not he would reject her. At least, that was how Chanu had explained it the week earlier, while they were working in what would be the child's room. The reason why Adriana was slowly rebuilding her relationship with Claire was because she was more confident of her friendship. She had known Claire longer, she had a better idea how Claire would react. Vin, however, was much more unpredictable.
It had hurt, at first, until Vin looked at it from her point of view. She really hadn't known him that long, and while she had become his best friend, he was now starting to see that she didn't feel as secure as his friend. To Adriana's way of thinking, she was still having to prove herself, even though Vin didn't think it was necessary. Hell, she had proven herself over and over, why would he want anything more from her, than what she had already given?
Because he was the first person who hadn't, Koje had explained when he overheard the conversation. Because Will Richmond had her jumping through hoops, not fully accepting her the way she was. Because her mother had never demonstrated her love, and Adriana had spent so much of her life trying to earn her mother's love. Adriana's father wasn't mentioned, but that wasn't necessary. And slowly, he began to understand.
That was when he really started feeling guilty. And it was the guilt which had kept him from calling her lately. Koje said quietly, "Guilt won't keep a friendship together, Vin."
The young man looked up at the chief, startled, and Koje continued, "It won't keep a friendship together. It won't heal either of you. If you leave now ... forget about the work. Go home. Get a shower. And try to forgive Adriana for her fear." Vin took several deep breaths, then nodded. Koje took the tools from his hands, and Vin's feet did the rest of the work. It was time to get things right with Adriana.
Adriana shifted uneasily in her chair, trying to concentrate on her German notes. Usually, during finals week, Adriana studied in the library, because she could focus more easily. Even with the quiet hours, there was still too much bustle in the dorm, but Adriana was trying to heal her shattered relationship with her roommate. Things had improved between the two girls during the last few weeks, but they still have a lot of talking to do.
"Adriana ... scram. Go to the library. Neither of us are gonna get anything done if you keep that up," Claire said, looking up from her own studying. Adriana turned guiltily at her roommate's voice, and Claire added, her eyes softening, "Listen, I appreciate the sentiment, but you're only driving us both crazy. Go to the library. You'll be able to focus a lot better, and so will I. I promise, I won't be having wild sex with Chanu in here while you're gone."
"Like I'm gonna care if I'm not here? Please, Claire, the only time I would care was if we had bunk-beds, and you were humping your husband in the lower bunk," Adriana retorted drily, then blushed as she realized what she had said. Claire, however, burst out laughing. Adriana glared at her roommate and muttered, "It wasn't that funny." The trouble was, it was that funny. Even at her most comfortable, Adriana never really talked like that. Until she had met Vin.
"Yes, it is. Wish Vin could hear you now. Adriana, honey, why don't you call him? And this time, instead of just listening to his damn machine, actually leave a message if he's not there?" Claire suggested. Adriana rose to her feet, gathering her books and notes up. Damn. She thought she had been more careful about that ... about Claire knowing ... about the aborted phone calls to Vin. She had tried to call him repeatedly in the last few weeks, only to lose her nerve. Damn coward.
"Can't do that. I'm not ready, Claire. Until I'm strong enough to face ... whatever, I can't do that," Adriana replied firmly. Her friend looked at her, exasperated, but Adriana didn't back down. She gave Claire her best approximation of the Larabee glare, and wonder of wonders, Claire actually backed down. Huh. Gotta tell Chris that lethal look of his works, at least for me, she thought. She smiled, thinking of Chris. And now, there was only the dullest ache when she thought about his wife. She would be all right.
"He cares about you, Adriana. So much. I know, I didn't like him at first, because I thought he was a threat, but I was wrong. He's a good man. And he cares about you a lot. The only reason ... he thought you betrayed him, and that hurt. It wouldn't have hurt him so much if he didn't care about you," Claire pointed out. Adriana didn't bother with a glare this time ... just a Look sufficed. Claire added, "Okay, that was a dumb thing to say."
"He's right. I did betray him. Secrets clause or not, I should have realized that was something he should know. He trusted me, and I let him down," Adriana fired back. Claire sighed, pushing herself up from her reclining position on her bed. Better for the baby, she said. She wouldn't show for another few months, but the last time they had gone shopping, Adriana had noticed her friend eyeing the maternity clothes.
"And I let you down, but we're putting the pieces of our friendship back together. Do you really think he's less of a friend than you are? My God, Adriana! You would have fought at his side, you caught him when he collapsed. You have proven yourself to him, honey! And I put you in a bad position, when I swore you to silence about my marriage to Chanu. You didn't lie to him, not by omission and not by commission. He knows that," Claire replied.
Adriana leaned her head against the door jam. She had heard this argument before. From Dawn, from Carly (who steadfastly refused to speak to Claire, for reasons she hadn't shared with Adriana), and from her own mind. In her mind, Adriana knew that Claire was right. And she knew she was being unfair to Vin, but right now, her heart was in command. And her heart was absolutely petrified. Of being wrong about Vin ... about losing him forever.
The irony was, she also knew that if she didn't do something soon, she would lose him, because she hadn't reached out to him. She sighed and whispered, "We'll talk about this when I get back from the library." From the corner of her eye, Adriana saw Claire bob her head once, almost reluctantly, then Adriana quietly left their room. It seemed like the walk was shorter than usual, perhaps because of everything that weighed on her mind.
But as always, once she entered the library, the familiar peace settled over her. It was the way some people felt when they went to church. Totally at peace. Her favorite spot was open, and Adriana settled in to get something accomplished. Now, the concentration came easier, and so did the breathing. She lost herself, conjugating German verbs with their accompanying nouns. While German certainly wasn't her best subject, she could even concentrate on that in here.
She forgot about Vin, she forgot about her mending relationship with Claire, she forgot about Carly completing turning against Claire. Nothing else mattered. From German, she progressed into her Lit class. The time flew by, and only her internal clock told her that it was time to head to the dining hall. She was supposed to meet Claire for dinner. She sighed, feeling much better (though hungry), and marked her place. She looked up ... and straight into the bright blue eyes of Kevin Tanner.
She was so stunned, she didn't even realize she had gotten up too fast until he grabbed her by the waist on her way down. He muttered, red staining his cheeks, "Sorry."
Adriana asked in response, what seemed to her like a perfectly natural question, "What? Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything wrong." Then she realized than his hands were on her waist. She realized something else. It didn't bother her one iota. In fact ... she rather liked it. She looked down, then whispered, "Maybe we should take this outside?" It wasn't until the words were out, that she realized how it must have sounded, and then she blushed.
Vin, however, flashed her one of his devastating grins (damn the man, he was dangerous when he smiled) and replied, "Reckon we oughta." The pair slipped from the library, though not before Adriana saw Gwen, one of the girls at the help desk, wink at her. Nope, she thought, it doesn't work like that. Vin and me, we're just friends. Still, she returned the wink, and Gwen's smile broadened.
Once they were outside, Vin said quietly, "Reckon I owe ya an apology." Adriana barely had time to process that, much less react, before he continued, "I shoulda never said what I did, about trustin' ya. Hell, Drina, I do trust ya ... and I shoulda never said I couldn't." The apology was so unexpected, because all this time, she had been formulating an apology of her own, for not telling him about Chanu and Claire's marriage.
"Vin, I should have told you about Claire and Chanu getting married, as soon as I had the chance," Adriana said, shaking her head. She looked away, and was more than a little surprised when Vin firmly cupped her chin in his hand and forced him to look at her. It was something like Buck would have done when Adriana was a child, or Chris, and the gesture took her breath away. She and Claire had talked a lot about Buck, too ... or as Claire put it, Adriana's immense love for her brother, but her tendency to think the worst of him.
"Drina, ya did tell me, first chance ya got. Hell, it weren't even that. ..it was Claire lyin' about ya knowin' 'bout the application. I shoulda known ya wouldna done that! I shoulda trusted ya, and myself. And I ain't never been so sorry in my life. I hurt ya ... Drina, 'til I met ya, I ain't never had a best friend before. I ain't never gonna let ya down again. Ya said that ya done let me down ... uh-uh. I let ya down. And it ain't gonna happen again," Vin swore.
Adriana blinked back tears, and immediately cussed herself out for being a wimp. She said softly, "I've been trying, these last two weeks, to get up the courage. To apologize. I called your apartment a few times, always when I knew when you wouldn't be at home. And every time I got the recording, I lost my nerve. I'm sorry, too, Vin. I'm sorry for being such a coward, and not settling this. I'm sorry for running away, instead of facing it. Facing you."
Vin frowned and he muttered, "That was ... ya left them messages on my machine?" Adriana nodded, and Vin shook his head, muttering, "Son of a bitch. Sorry, Drina. Hell, I been workin' up the courage to apologize to ya, and ... aw hell. Ain't we a pair." Adriana couldn't help herself. She started giggling. Vin glared at her, then grinned, and then started laughing. The laughter healed the remaining rift between them.
"A pair of what, that's what I want to know!" Adriana said, still giggling. Impulsively, she threw her arms around Vin and hugged him, still clutching her books and notebooks.
There was a slight pause, then his arms wrapped around her waist, and she was caught in a fierce bear hug. She whispered, "I'm sorry. Keep being patient with me? I've ... I'm kinda new at this whole thing." Then she smiled at his equally soft, So'm I. The two friends held onto each other, and Adriana mumbled against Vin's shoulder, "I think we just had our first argument, if you can really call it that."
"Reckon we did," came the equally muffled reply, "and reckon we should get ya to the dining hall, 'fore ya pass out from hunger." Adriana giggled as Vin released him, and poked her finger in his ribs. He growled at her, and Adriana just laughed again, the sheer relief of still having Vin as her friend making her giddy. Vin grew serious after a moment and he murmured, "Cain't call ya friend no more. Reckon we're more 'n friends now."
"But not quite lovers, but that's okay, 'cause I don't want a lover," Adriana said, "and not really brother and sister." Vin nodded his agreement. He offered his arm, which she happily accepted, and the two more-than-friends began walking toward the dining hall. She said thoughtfully, "You know, you got lucky today ... usually, this semester, I've been trying to study in my room. Can't work things out with Claire if we're not in the same room, after all. But she ran me out earlier."
Vin stopped and looked at her, his brow furrowing, then asked, "Claire? Ran ya out? Ya been studyin' in the dorm, all this time?" Adriana nodded, frowning. What was he getting at? Vin shook his head in wonderment, muttering, "Aw hell. They done set us up again!" Now Adriana was really getting lost, and Vin explained, "Koje told me, that ya was studyin' in the library. And Claire ran ya outta your room."
As Vin had said only a moment earlier, aw hell. The two friends looked at each other a long moment, trying to figure out what to do about it. Then a decidedly evil smile appeared on Vin Tanner's face and he asked, his eyes dancing with laughter, "Ya up to causin' some trouble, Miss Drina?" She just smirked at him, and he continued, "I got me an idea!" Again, he offered his arm to her, and again she accepted. And as they walked to the dining hall, the pair began discussing what they would do. After all, one good setup deserved another.
The single digit traced lines on the picture. Two young people, laughing. A man and a woman. Both around the same age, in their early twenties. Two shades of brown hair. Blue eyes and dark hazel, for those who bothered to look. The same dark hazel eyes which were now staring at the picture longingly. 'One good setup deserves another.' Wasn't that what she had thought, all those years ago? God, to have those days back again ... but that wasn't possible. She had to go forward.
"Adriana? Are you ready, hon?" a soft voice said. Adriana Wilmington looked up and took a deep breath. Will Richmond moved slowly to her side, smiling faintly at the picture she had been tracing with her finger. At the young man's features. He said softly, "I remember when that was taken. That was right after Peter Nichols approached you at the Homecoming Dance. Priscilla was so proud of you, asking Vin to that."
Adriana laughed. Funny. Seemed like she hadn't laughed since she had found the red light on her recorder flashing. She looked around the empty apartment once again. More than two years of memories were bound up in this place. It felt wrong, leaving here. But no longer having Vin Tanner in her life felt wrong, too. God. Had it really been three years since their first meeting, since they had joined forces to rescue Raquel Hernandez? Not quite three years, but close enough.
So many people had come and gone from her life in those years. Priscilla Meadows had died in her sleep the semester earlier, which had devastated Adriana. The woman had been so young, and seemed so healthy, but she had kept a great deal from her students. From her husband, even. Priscilla had been her mother figure as well as her advisor and professor. She had been so happy, when Adriana had been accepted into the graduate program at the University of Munich. Vin had been beside Adriana at the memorial service, and it was right. The way it was meant to be, because she had brought them together in the first place.
Claire and Chanu had moved to New Mexico at the beginning of Claire's senior year. The couple hadn't been able to deal with the continuing interference of Claire's father. Rafe remained behind, and estranged from his father. Adriana hadn't thought it likely that he would ever forgive his father, and to the best of her knowledge, he still wasn't speaking to his father. She didn't see him that much herself, and things were always awkward between them when they did meet.
Carly had moved down the hall and into Adriana's room during Christmas break. She was still on the outs with her mother, and had no desire to go home to Chicago. They celebrated Christmas together ... Carly, Adriana, and Vin ... at Priscilla's home. The two girls were to be roommates for the next two and a half years. At the end of their sophomore year, Dawn Jackson received her master's degree, but remained in Texas. The three got an apartment together. From the end of her sophomore year forward were the happiest years of Adriana's life to date.
She saw Will and Charlotte Richmond from time to time, even after Will received his Master's Degree. He had decided to stay in Texas and teach for a while, before he went for his PhD, as he was still repairing his marriage. And, a true friendship grew up with Adriana this time, as he came to see her as an equal, rather than as someone to be protected. Then again, that was a conclusion Charlotte had reached long ago.
She didn't know if Will was a slow learner when it came to the women in his life, or if it was just his natural protectiveness. But he had finally realized that she really could take care of herself. Adriana supposed all the scrapes she had gotten into over the years, always standing at Vin's side, had demonstrated she could kick ass when she had to. She didn't pick fights ... neither of them did ... but they didn't back down from fights, either.
The semester before, only a few weeks before Priscilla's death, Adriana had asked Vin to the Homecoming Dance. It had become a ritual between them. Adriana knew he wouldn't go. He didn't feel comfortable at dances, with a lot of people, but it was her way of including him. There had been a misunderstanding at the end of her sophomore year ... funny, the details stopped being important. All she could remember now was his accusation that she didn't think he was good enough to go to the damn dance.
It had been more of a hurt question than an accusation, but true to Tanner form, Vin had built up his own guilt to the point that he had accused her. Then again, this was a man who referred to a silently stormy departure as 'storming out.' When it came to certain things, Vin had a tendency to exaggerate his own guilt. Just like the situation with Chanu ... while he had the sense that Chanu hadn't kidnapped Claire, and had done his best to help the other man, Vin still didn't think it was enough, and referred to helping the police as a 'mistake.' After their first few arguments on the subject, Adriana finally gave up.
But after the argument, about the Spring Fling, Adriana always asked Vin to the dances on the college. He always said 'no,' admitting that he really didn't fit in, and he really didn't feel comfortable. This year, however, he surprised her ... and himself ... by agreeing. For the entire day before the dance, Adriana had been a nervous wreck, so sure that he would cancel out. But, this was Vin Tanner ... and promptly at six thirty, the time they had agreed upon, he arrived at the apartment, dressed in his best clothes.
Adriana, who had finally allowed Carly to experiment on her, was dressedin a flowing white evening gown, which reminded her of those dresses she saw in the movies, when a girl was being sacrificed. But it made her feel beautiful, as did the result of the experimentation with the make-up. And so did the look in Vin's bright eyes when he saw her. His mouth had formed an 'o' of surprise. There was just one change to be made before they left for the dance together. Adriana freed Vin's light brown hair from the ponytail which had held it, and pronounced the result 'perfect.' Now, months later, Adriana quietly traced Vin's features again.
"You'll see him again, hon. I admit. . .I didn't think too highly of him at first. But I know how much he cares for you. Leaving the way he did, with just that message on your recorder, he had to have a good reason. It's time to go. When he resurfaces, Charlotte and I will make sure he finds you. I swear," Will said earnestly. Adriana smiled again, but this time, the smile was sad. It wasn't that she doubted her friend ... but Vin had sounded so afraid on the recorder. So unlike the steady, serene man she had known these last few years.
She closed her eyes, remembering. It's me, Drina. Lord. I never wanted to say good-bye to ya, not like this. I wanted so much to be there, when ya left for Germany. Reckon it was bad enough, your brother couldn't come to your graduation ... I should be there for ya now. But I cain't. Ya mean too much to me, Drina. I got myself in a world a' trouble this time, girl, and I ain't 'bout to take ya down with me. I will never forget ya, Drina, and if I can, I'll come find ya when I get myself outta this mess. I'm so sorry. I hope ya can forgive me.
And that had been the last she heard of Vin Tanner.
"Will ... I could use your help out here. Give her a few minutes," Charlotte said. Will looked at his wife, now seven months pregnant, and scurried immediately to take the duffel bag from her hands. He fussed at her for lifting something so heavy, but Charlotte accomplished what she meant to do. She winked at Adriana over Will's shoulder, and the young woman smiled back gratefully. She took a deep breath, turning back to the few items remaining.
Carly had been just as devastated by the message, and swore she would find out what happened. It had taken both Will and Adriana to convince her that she couldn't find Vin. Not if he didn't want to be found, and it was Charlotte's opinion that he had disappeared to protect the people he cared for. If Carly cared about Vin as much as she said she did, then she should respect that ... and let him come to her, when he was ready.
Dawn had moved to Georgia, to be with her uncle. She and Adriana had swapped email addresses before her departure the previous month. Slowly, the small circle of friends had begun collapsing in on them. Dawn was the first to go. Then Vin's disappearance. Then it had been Carly's turn.
Carly had moved her things out of the apartment three days earlier. She had been accepted at Johns Hopkins University, back east. Bless her sweet heart, she had wanted to remain in Texas with Adriana, until the dark-haired girl reminded her friend that she would be leaving for Germany. The two friends and roommates had shared a quiet good-bye, both knowing that if they allowed themselves to become too emotional, neither would be able to do what had to be done. But dear Lord, how Adriana already missed her friend! All ... of her friends.
She would put Vin's picture in her backpack last, and carry all the pictures with her onto the plane. Keep them with her. Her relationship with Buck remained the same ... he had been unable to get leave for her graduation. And he didn't want to leave Chris, whose wife and son had just been killed in an explosion. Chris was spinning out of control, and Buck was afraid for him. Adriana could understand that. She just wished she could be sure that Vin, and Carly, and everyone else was right. That Buck wasn't really trying to shut her out of his life ... that he didn't blame her for their father marrying her mother (a possibility which had been raised more recently).
Adriana had grown up these last few years, but where her brother was concerned, she knew she was still a child, and it was killing her. Why had she been able to rebuild her friendships with Vin and Claire, why had she found the courage to trust Chanu eventually, despite their bumpy start ... and yet ... she couldn't find the courage to confront her brother about ... their ... relationship? Whatever. The point was, despite the progress she had made in the last few years, she was still a coward.
The pictures of Buck and Chris went into the backpack, joining pictures of Dawn, Priscilla, Chanu and Claire with their son Kevin. Carly, laughing at her from a swing. The Christmas they had spent at Priscilla's, that first Christmas together. And as she put the pictures away, she put the memories which accompanied them away as well. Pictures of herself and Vin, watching the sunset, taken by Carly or Dawn.
Another picture of them together, this time in Georgia. She and Vin had accompanied Dawn back to Georgia, to meet her friend's famed Uncle Obadiah. There was a swing in his backyard, a round seat hanging from a tree. And if she had felt something other than friendship when she swung her leg over Vin's and sat down on his lap facing him, she would never admit it, not even to herself.
Then again, Vin had been right ... when he had said that they were more than friends. More than friends, not quite lovers. Despite the insinuations of Peter Nichols, when they encountered him at the Homecoming Dance ... despite the teasing of Will Richmond, only a few weeks earlier. Adriana didn't know if she would ever allow herself to love a man like that. If she could even trust Vin with her body, the way she trusted him with the rest of her.
That picture of them together on the swing, taken by Obadiah, went into her backpack. And finally, the picture of them at the Homecoming Dance. Adriana in Vin's arms, they were holding each other tightly and laughing at the camera. Adriana couldn't even remember who had taken it. She lightly brushed a kiss to the forehead of the young man in the photograph and whispered, "If you can, come back to me, Vin Tanner. And until then, you take care of yourself. Watch your back." Then she slid that last picture into the backpack.
Will met her at the door. The rest of her belongings had already been shipped to Germany. They would be waiting for her, in storage, once she could find an apartment ... a flat, she corrected herself. It's a flat, not an apartment. He glanced at the backpack, but she shook her head. No ... no, she would be carrying this herself. Will just squeezed her shoulder and headed to the car. Adriana turned and looked one last time at her home, then lightly brushed her fingers over the lights. And then she pulled the door behind her for the very last time.
Charlotte held a car door open for her and she slid into the station wagon gratefully. Only when Charlotte pushed the door shut did Adriana finally let go. She buried her face in her hands, quietly crying. I will see you again, my more-than-friend. I don't know where, and I don't know when. But I have faith. I have faith in you ... and I always will.
The End
Completed May 7, 2001
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