Pride and Joy

By: AESC


Bad, bad day.

The words circled relentlessly around and around in Vin Tanner’s brain. They mocked him cruelly, poked fun at his misery, annoyed the hell out ofhim, and made his life even worse by constantly remind him that he had just barely survived a bad, bad day.

When the half-hearted clicks of his Jeep’s alternator interspersed themselves between each repetition of ‘bad, bad day’, Vin sensed the beginnings of a really good song.

Bad, bad day.

Click-click!

Bad, bad day.

Click-click!

Vin wanted to scream or shoot something; he could go back to the weapons locker and grab his M24- he had enough people who’d pissed him off earlier that day to track down and kill, so hauling himself all the way down to the lockup wouldn’t be a waste of time. Justifiable homicide, he told himself.

Instead of going to the weapons locker or screaming, Tanner rested his forehead against the steering wheel and listened intently to his pulse pounding in his temple. The steady, deep throbbing provided a good bassline to the song forming in his skull as he reflexively kept turning the key in the Jeep’s ignition.

Bad, bad day. (THUD.) Click-click! (THUD-THUD) Bad, bad day. (THUD.)

Vin almost started drumming his fingers on his thighs, working his way up to a really good four-piece band, but got interrupted by Ezra Standish materializing at his elbow.

Ezra had been having a bad day of his own; despite his vow to get home unmolested and hide in peace, he found himself drawn to Vin’s side as the sharpshooter cursed softly and violently. Standish watched dispassionately as Vin shot backwards in his seat, his head cracking against the less-than-forgiving headrest. Tanner grimaced and buried his face in his hands; something very much like a muffled cry of suffering emerged from the closed doors of the sharpshooter’s palms. Standish almost asked what was the matter, but weighed the odds of getting shot for making the inquiry and instead asked, “May I offer you a ride home?”

Vin’s fingers slid down his face, allowing strangely haggard blue eyes to regard the undercover agent. For a moment, Vin too seemed to weigh something and he finally said, “Wouldn’t want ta put you out any, Ezra. I already owe you for those two tires that got stolen an’ that chrome fender someone backed into.”

“Yes, well, I will of course hold you to your promise of restitution, however likely it may be that the sanctified dead will rise from their graves before you make good on your vows... But let us put that behind us for now and get you back to Purgatorio,” Ezra said, crossing his arms over his chest and doing a fairly creditable impersonation of Chris Larabee.

All fight and objection had left the sharpshooter; Tanner nodded mutely and climbed out of his Jeep, giving it a disapproving kick on the rear bumper- the Jeep remained uncowed by its owner’s disapproval. He trailed Ezra over to his Jag, managing a grin when Standish scowled at the sight of Cuervo’s pawprints on the polished metal.

“Hey, you can see where he laid down,” Vin said, leaning over to inspect the hood. “See? His pawprints circle around one spot- he laid down there, then got back up a while later and just jumped off. Probably heard you comin’ and decided to scram.”

“Thank you, Mr. Tracker, sir,” snorted Ezra. “I take it this means your black mood is slowly starting to lift? May I inquire after your day without fear of a potentially painful reprisal?”

“Not hardly,” scowled Vin. “This is the kind of day you gotta forget, or go crazy. Let’ get goin’.” With that, he buckled his seatbelt and leaned back into the well-upholstered passenger sea, closing his eyes. “Lead on, MacDuff,” he murmured.

“Most certainly,” Ezra said, and turned the key in the ignition. The Jag rumbled to life and a split second later, the throbbing of the engine was joined by the exultant howling of a singer and a screeching, ecstatic electric guitar:

“SHE’S MY SWEET LITTLE THING, SHE’S MY PRIDE AND JOY...”

“Good Christ!” bellowed Tanner as the passenger door speakers exploded with sound right next to him.

“Sorry, sorry,” Ezra apologized hastily, hand reaching for the stereo console to turn down the volume, remove the CD from the player, and insert a new one. He cursed his forgetfulness- where had his mind been this morning? A CD of Chopin’s nocturnes sat neatly in its case in the Jag’s glove compartment, ready just in case someone would be riding in the car with him, and Ezra had to go and forget about it.

“No, wait- I like Stevie Ray Vaughan,” Vin said, reaching out to forestall Ezra’s hand.

“You do?” asked Ezra, face completely blank.

“Yeah,” Vin affirmed, and then inflicted the agent with another one of his patented probing stares. “Damn, Ez, you look surprised. I’m the one who should be surprised. Hell, I thought you didn’t like anyone that hadn’t been dead for at least a hundred years.”

“Like many things, Mr. Tanner, that is an image I cultivate with great care. As Mr. Vaughan, God rest his soul, has been dead for quite a few years, he technically counts as an artist whom I can enjoy. And I must confess, I have always had a weakness for blues electric guitar- this particular compact disc features both Mr. Vaughan and Albert King.”

“Oh, that Sessions CD?” asked Vin excitedly. “I been lookin’ for this one. Buck has it, says it’s pretty good, so I’d like to hear it for myself.”

“Rest assured, Mr. Tanner, it is an excellent concert. One that...” Ezra paused, considering Vin and electric guitars and the fact that no one outside of Vin knew anything about Ezra liking blues guitar- or any kind of blues at all- “... one that I would enjoy listening to with you on the journey back to your apartment.”

Tanner mulled this over and finally said, “Well, in that case, there’s only one thing we gotta do.”

“And what is that, Mr. Tanner?”

“Decide who gets to play Stevie Ray an’ who gets to play Albert. I think I should be Stevie.”

Whyever would you think that, Mr. Tanner?”

He got an expressive roll of the eyes from Vin and an irritated, “’Cause he’s from Texas, too, Ez. Geez.”

“Yes... yes, you could probably play Mr. Vaughan on the next VH1 Rockumentary, or maybe the next made-for-TV movie CBS decides to do. I’m sure if you bleached your hair and worked on your fingerpicking, you would make a most redoubtable TV version of Stevie Ray.” Ezra bit back a snicker. “Very well... you get to be Stevie Ray. Shall we?”

“We shall.”

Ezra reinserted the CD and cranked the volume up, flipped it to Track Two.

“What is that fast thang you were doin’? That rap thang?” Ezra/Albert asked and snapped his fingers. “Boy, that had a heckuva groove to it.”

“This thing called ‘Pride and Joy,” Vin/Stevie answered.

“’Pride and Joy’? Gimme some of that!”

The drums, bass, and keys kicked up as Ezra put the Jag in reverse and backed out of the parking space. Vin deftly took up the lead electric and began to sing, loudly and unabashedly:

“WELL YOU’VE HEARD ABOUT LOVIN’...”

Ezra screeched out into traffic, whipping past the surprised pedestrians at the corner. Once he got out on the straightaway he worked in a sharp, arpeggioed fill, expertly steering the Jag with his knees and grimacing ecstatically as his air guitar skipped up and down the scale.

“SHE’S A SWEET LITTLE THING...” sang Vin.

“SHE’S MY PRIDE AND JOY,” responded Ezra, breaking role and earning a quick scowl from Vin.

“SHE’S MY SWEET LIL’ BABY, I’M HER LITTLE LOVER BOY...” Vin pounded into the first guitar solo, fingers effortlessly working up and down six invisible strings, an intent frown on his face. The relentless beat of the drums and keys behind the vocals and guitars drowned out his headache, and for the first time all day, he felt really, really good.

A glance over at Ezra confirmed the same thing, and from behind his sunglasses, Ezra caught his friend’s grin. He answered it with one of his own and shouted above the music:

“OUR SECRET, MR. TANNER?”

“YOU GOT IT, EZ!” bellowed Vin in response before returning to his guitar.

THE END