Everyone agreed that Mary and Inez had outdone themselves with the dinner. Every kind of dish that made a Christmas feast special had been provided and cooked to perfection. As soon as Josiah was finished with the prayer, they all eagerly began filling their plates... with special care taken to see that Ezra's was heaped with all his favorites. The young gambler was the center of attention with the talk focusing on how much he loved Christmas now, the wonderful presents he'd received... any topic they could think of that would keep a smile on his face. All mention of his nightmare was carefully avoided.
Chris was the first to notice that although Ezra had happily chattered and giggled throughout the entire meal, he'd barely eaten anything. The gunslinger caught Nathan's attention and nodded down at the Southerner's plate and watched as the healer frowned when he saw that most of the food had been left untouched. Nathan caught Ezra looking down the table at JD and mouthed 'fever?' at Chris.
Ezra looked up at Chris as he felt his hand rub gently against his cheek and smiled. The older man smiled back, but as soon as the gambler turned away again, a worried frown appeared and he nodded at Nathan.
Buck had seen the by-play between Chris and Nathan and glanced at Ezra who was now leaning against his arm. He took in the slight flush of his cheeks and the listless way he was picking at his food and knew something was wrong.
"Ya haven't eaten very much, little guy... ya feelin' okay?" Buck slipped his arm around Ezra's shoulders and could feel how much warmer the smaller man felt than he had earlier.
Ezra looked up at Buck and forced a half-hearted smile to his face. "I'm okay, Buck... jus' not verwy hungrwy."
Buck could see that his usually bright and shiny green eyes were now dull and glazed looking, and he knew Ezra wasn't telling him the truth. He looked up, intending to tell Nathan he better check the gambler out, only to find the healer one step ahead of him.
Nathan leaned over Ezra and looked into his eyes while he placed his hand gently over the smaller man's forehead. He knew they had trouble when Ezra offered no resistance to him checking for a fever, but instead leaned into the touch. He took in the glassy stare, rosy cheeks, and uncharacteristic silence, and immediately had Chris move so he could sit down next to the gambler.
"Alright, Ezra... now I want the truth. Ya don't feel good, do ya?" Nathan watched Ezra hesitate and knew he was about to lie. "Ezra... the truth."
Ezra stared at Nathan for a moment and then slowly shook his head.
Nathan gently smoothed his hair back. "Can ya tell me what's wrong?"
Ezra glanced up at the others, and comforted by their soft smiles and nods, finally looked back at Nathan and answered him. "My head huwts, Nafan." He raised a hand and rubbed at the center of his forehead. "W'ight herwe in d' middlwe."
Buck heard the tears threatening and saw his lower lip begin to quiver, and gently began rubbing his back to calm him.
"Does it hurt anywhere else?" Nathan asked as he ran his fingers over Ezra's neck, gently probing the area under his jaw.
Ezra nodded and began to cry softly as he slumped back against Buck. "It huwts everwywherwe, Nafan... w'ike one big toofache."
Nathan heard the raspy quality of the gambler's voice and immediately had him open his mouth so he could get a look at his throat. He winced when he saw how inflamed it was and wondered how Ezra had managed to choke down what little food he had actually eaten.
Buck wrapped his arms around Ezra and looked worriedly up at the healer. "What is it, Nathan? A cold?"
Nathan nodded. He'd hoped the Southerner would be spared this complication from his little excursion out in the rain, but they apparently weren't going to be that lucky. He patted Ezra's arm and rose off the bench. "Ya jus' sit tight there with Buck, little guy, an' I'll go fix ya some tea with a little honey in it."
"Honey, Nafan? Wiwll d'at make it taste betterw?" Ezra reached up and dried his eyes on his sleeve as he looked hopefully up at the healer.
Nathan smiled down at Ezra, touching his face gently. "Yeah, an' it'll make your throat feel a little better, too."
The others all clustered around Ezra... patting him gently, talking quietly to him... just generally fussing over him in a combined effort to reassure him, as well as themselves, that he was going to be okay.
By the time Nathan had the tea ready, Ezra was more than ready to drink it. His head and throat were worse, and he was just generally beginning to feel miserable.
Buck helped him to sit up and supported him while Nathan held the cup to his lips, encouraging him to take small sips and let the liquid just ease down his throat. Even following the healer's advice, they could see how painful it was for Ezra to get the tea down. He whimpered and shed a few tears, but swallowed it all without any complaints... a definite sign of just how bad he was actually feeling.
When he was done, Nathan set the now empty cup on the table and moved to help him up. "Let's get ya t' bed now so ya can get some rest."
But Ezra pulled away from the healer and looked up at Chris. "No, Nafan... Chwis is s'posed to w'ead me a storwy. He even got d' w'ockin' chairw forw us to use. W'ight, Chwis?"
Chris looked from Ezra's pleading face to Nathan's grim, no-nonsense expression and remembered the earlier chewing out he'd had to endure. "Um... how 'bout we postpone it til tomorrow night... maybe you'll be feelin' better then." He took one look at Ezra... the quivering lower lip, the green eyes glistening with tears... and decided to shift the blame to the healer. "Besides, Nathan wants you to go to sleep now and he knows what's best."
Ezra pushed back against Buck as Nathan again reached for his arm, and began to cry in earnest. "No, Nafan... Chwis pwomised me! He s-said he'd w'ead to m-me an'... an' w'ock me... you p-pwomised, Chwis!"
Nathan shot the gunslinger a dirty look and finally backed down. "Okay, Ezra... I guess it won't hurt nothin' as long as ya stay quiet an' jus' listen... no talkin' though. Ya understand?"
Ezra nodded and whispered quietly. "Uh-huh... I'll be good, Nafan. I pwomise." He stood on shaky legs and reached up to wrap his arm around Nathan's neck. "F'ank you, Nafan... I wuv you."
Everyone quickly turned away to hide their smiles when they saw Nathan's stern facade completely crumble as he wrapped his arms around Ezra and gave him a warm hug. "I love you, too, Ezra... you jus' remember your promise an' don't be askin' Chris no questions while he's readin'... an' jus' one story an' then straight t' bed, okay?"
Nathan felt Ezra nod and also felt him shiver slightly. "Buck, get one of them blankets off the bed an' we'll wrap 'im up 'fore he gets settled on Chris's lap."
Chris moved the rocker over near the stove to help keep Ezra as warm as possible, and then sat down. He'd purposefully grabbed one of the rockers with no arms so that it would be easier to arrange Ezra comfortably on his lap.
Nathan held onto Ezra as they walked over to the rocker. He could feel the gambler weave on his feet and knew he probably wouldn't last through a whole story before he was sound asleep. He and Buck placed the blanket over the smaller man's shoulders and pulled it tight around him before helping him to ease down onto Chris's lap.
Chris was surprised at how light the gambler actually was... he had a slender build, but he wasn't really what you would call skinny. He imagined though that Ezra would feel much heavier after he'd been rocking him for awhile... but it was worth it if it made him feel even a little bit better.
It took some maneuvering, but Buck and Nathan finally got Ezra settled. They sat him crossways with his legs hanging over the side of Chris's lap and his head cradled against the older man's shoulder. Then they tucked the blanket in, and held him in place while Chris wrapped his arms around him and got the book situated in a comfortable position.
Chris opened the book and looked down at the smaller man. "Okay, Ezra... which story did you pick out?"
Ezra pulled his arm out of the blanket and carefully turned the pages of the book until he came to the picture he remembered. He pointed at the picture of a little blonde girl standing in front of three bears. "D'is one, Chwis... d'is is d' one I want you to w'ead to me."
"Goldilocks and the Three Bears? Okay, little guy... put your head back down, and we'll get started." Chris smiled as he felt Ezra quickly put his head against his shoulder and felt the gambler's warm, smooth forehead press against his neck.
"Once upon a time..."
"W'ock, Chwis. You'rwe s'posed to be w'ockin' me."
Chris shot a warning glare at the other men scattered around the room as he heard the first muffled snorts of laughter, and slowly began moving the rocking chair back and forth. "Okay now, Ezra?"
"Mm-hmm... d'at's betterw, Chwis. You can go back to d' storwy now."
"Once upon a time..."
"You aw'weady w'ead d'at parwt, Chwis."
"Ezra..."
"Sowwy."
"Once... um... there were three little bears, a Mama bear, a Papa bear, and a Baby bear. These bears lived in a house in the woods, which is very unusual for bears."
"Bearws don't w'ive in houses... do d'ey, Chwis? Don't d'ey w'ive in caves?"
"Ezra Payton Stan-"
"Sowwy."
"One day Mama Bear was making porridge for breakfast..."
"Bearws don't eat powwidge, do d'ey? I f'ought d'ey ate bewwies an' fish an'..." Ezra glanced up at Chris's face and quickly put his head back down on the man's shoulder.
"Sowwy."
Chris closed his eyes and silently counted slowly to ten as he tried to ignore the strangled sounds of his men choking back their laughter. He's sick... just remember that... he's sick. He heaved a long-suffering sigh of frustration and continued, actually making it to the next page before another interruption occurred.
"She tasted the Papa bear's porridge, but it was too hot. She tasted the Mama bear's porridge, but it was too cold. She tasted the Baby bear's porridge, and it was just right. So, she..."
"If d' mama bear poured all d' bowls of powwidge at d' same time... how come d'ey all didn't get cold at d' same time?" Ezra risked a quick peek up at Chris's face. He would have sworn he heard the older man growl.
"She used different sized bowls."
"But d' baby bear's bowl would've been d' w'ittlest, wouldn't it? Why wouldn't it get cowld firwst? Wouldn't d'..." This time Ezra was sure he heard Chris growl.
"Sowwy."
Chris stopped rocking and stared down at Ezra until he finally raised his head up and looked at him. "What did Nathan tell you before you even sat down here?"
Chris felt his anger dissolve as he stared at Ezra. His cheeks were rosy from the fever... his green eyes had fat droplets of tears poised in the corners, ready to fall at any moment... a few unruly curls of hair lay on his forehead... and there went that damn lower lip again. He glanced quickly at the others and saw them all grinning, waiting to see how long it was before he caved. They didn't have to wait long.
Ezra placed his face against Chris's cheek and whispered brokenly, "I'm sowwy, Chwis... I'll go to bed now if you want me to. I know I was bad."
Chris felt Ezra's hot tears trickle down both their cheeks and he caved. "That's okay, Ezra... there's nothin' wrong with asking questions. How else are you gonna learn?" The hardened gunslinger raised his hand to stroke the soft head pressed tightly against his, and turned to place a gentle kiss on the Southerner's feverish cheek. "I love you, Ezra."
Ezra heard Chris's whispered words and smiled through his tears, quickly whispering back, "I wuv you, too, Chwis... f'ank you forw not bein' mad at me."
Chris just nodded and brushed Ezra's tears away before pressing his head back down against his shoulder. He glanced down and smiled when he saw Ezra contentedly sucking his thumb as he waited quietly for the rest of the story. Chris wrapped his arms a little tighter around the gambler and slowly began rocking again as he continued reading.
There was no more laughter in the room, just a comfortable silence as they all sat and watched their brother have one more piece of his childhood returned to him.
Ezra never made it to the end of the story, but Chris kept rocking and reading until he finished it... unwilling to let go of the feelings that were running through him. Because even though the person in his lap was a grown man, one who on occasion aggravated him beyond belief when he was his normal self...he was still bringing back the joy Chris'd felt when he'd shared this same experience with his son. Ezra had been right... it had been good for both of them.
Josiah and Buck finally moved forward and stood next to the two men in the rocker. "Ya ready for us to put 'im to bed, Chris? Your legs've gotta be 'bout dead by now."
Chris looked down at the sleeping gambler and reluctantly loosened his hold on him. Buck helped Josiah lift Ezra up off of the gunslinger's lap and carefully lay him in the bed.
Chris watched as they got him tucked in, and smiled as Buck, even without Ezra begging him to, climbed in beside the younger man and gently wrapped his arms around him. Then he stood, wincing as blood rushed to his sleeping limbs and slowly moved to the door, pausing to announce he was going for a walk to get some fresh air and work some feeling back into his legs before heading home. The others silently watched him leave, knowing that he needed to be alone with his memories.
Nathan moved over to sit on the edge of the bed, gently laying his hand against Ezra's face and neck.
"He's warmer, isn't he, Nathan?" Buck could see the concern on the healer's dark features and his worry over his Little One increased even more.
"A little bit, yeah." Nathan saw Buck's frown deepen and smiled. "Buck... I told ya... it's jus' a cold, he'll be fine. He won't feel too good for a while, but it ain't nothin' serious." He shook his head as Buck still looked worried and tucked the covers tighter around Ezra. "Lord... an' y'all accuse me of fussin' too much... you got me beat all t' hell. You're gonna strangle 'im if ya keep tuckin' at them blankets."
Buck merely shrugged and stroked Ezra's hair gently. "Can't help it, Nathan. The little guy brings out the big brother in me."
Nathan shook his head again as he loosened the covers pinning poor Ezra to the bed. "Big brother hell... you're actin' more like a mama hen fussin' over her chick."
JD snorted at the healer's words. "Buck acting like a mother hen? Never." He smiled at the quiet laughter his sarcastic remark had elicited from the others, and grinned at the indignant look Buck immediately shot him.
Nathan stood and stretched, and tried unsuccessfully to smother a huge yawn. "I think Chris's bedtime story worked for me, too... can't seem t' keep my eyes open. I'm stayin' here tonight, jus' t' be on the safe side. You wake me if he seems like he's gettin' any worse. An' if he wakes up enough durin' the night, see if ya can get some more of that tea in 'im... jus' stir a spoonful of honey in it 'fore ya give it t' 'im."
Buck nodded and sat up long enough to pull his boots off before climbing under the covers. He smiled as Ezra immediately snuggled up against him, pushing his head up under the older man's chin as he worked to get as close as he could.
The other three men left in the clinic walked over and smiled down at the two in the bed. Vin and Josiah gently turned Ezra so that he was still pressed tightly against Buck, but wasn't putting any pressure on his broken arm. As soon as he felt the ladies man's arm wrap around him, he quieted down and drifted back to sleep.
Buck grinned up at the others. "Thanks... thought he was gonna shove me clear off the bed 'fore he got himself settled."
Josiah smiled and slapped JD on the back. "Well, Brother Dunne... how 'bout we go take a walk over to the church and see if there happen to be any of those desserts left. I don't know about you, but I could do with a bite to eat before I call it a night."
JD snatched up his coat and hat at the mention of food, and headed for the door. "Sounds good to me, Josiah... night, guys. See ya in the mornin'."
The others shook their heads and laughed at how fast the Kid could move when food was mentioned.
Josiah slid into his coat and threw his hat on as he followed after JD. "I better hurry, we all know how that boy loves to eat." But he hesitated at the door, looking back at Ezra. "Maybe I should stay... if he-"
Nathan walked over and placing his hand on the big man's back, gently pushed him out onto the landing. "He'll be fine. I keep tellin' y'all it's jus' a cold. Now get on over t' the church 'fore JD polishes off all those leftovers." He started to close the door and then stopped, glancing over at Vin. "You stayin' or leavin'?"
"Reckon I'll camp out here another night. Air's turned kinda cold for sleepin' in the wagon." Vin ignored the knowing looks of the other two men and spread his bedroll out on the floor near Buck and Ezra.
Nathan closed the door and fastened it before heading over to his cot... muttering just loud enough for the other two men to hear. "Too cold... this from the fool who wouldn't think twice 'bout goin' out on patrol in a blizzard."
Vin grinned sheepishly at Buck as he lowered himself down onto his make-shift bed. "Wake me if ya need me." Within minutes he was snoring softly.
Buck reached over and turned the lamp down to just a soft glow, and soon followed the tracker into sleep.
Ezra's nightmare returned shortly after midnight, but they were lucky enough to get him woke up before it got too bad. Buck sat up, and Vin helped him pull the still half-asleep gambler into his arms.
"B-Buck? He was herwe, Buck... he was h-herwe... I s-saw 'im..." Ezra clung to the older man's shirt as he sobbed brokenly against his chest.
"Shush now, Little One... it was just a dream... no one else is here." Buck managed to get Ezra to open his eyes and look at them. The gambler kept his hold on Buck as he peered warily around the room, convinced he was going to find his uncle lurking in the shadows.
"But it seemed so w'eal, Buck..." Ezra shivered and pressed his face against the larger man's chest again. "It seemed so w'eal."
Nathan brought over a mug of tea, and they managed to coax Ezra to drink most of it before he started complaining that it hurt his throat too much. He grudgingly allowed them to look down his throat, and then shed a few pitiful tears when they all exclaimed how sore it looked and how brave he was to drink the tea.
The three men sat with him, petting and fussing over him until his eyes finally began to droop, and then settled him back down in Buck's arms, hoping he'd be able to sleep the night through without anymore dreams.
But it just wasn't to be. Several more times, Buck and Vin were pulled from their sleep as Ezra began to moan and mumble fretfully. They were only able to catch a few words here and there, but Uncle Matthew was clearly the one who haunted the gambler as he tried to sleep. It was nearly dawn before the dreams finally stopped, giving them only a couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Chris entered the clinic and could tell immediately that the night hadn't gone well. Buck, Vin, and Nathan all looked exhausted, and they were obviously having a rough time of it dealing with a rather whiney and irritable Ezra.
Chris laughed as Nathan walked over to him, shaking his head and trying to wipe away the spots of tea that dotted his clothes. "I take it he's not in the best of moods this morning?"
Nathan shook his head and glanced back at the bed. Buck and Vin were trying to coax Ezra into eating some breakfast, but so far, all they'd been able to get down him was part of a biscuit and the few sips of tea that hadn't ended up on Nathan. "Naw... he didn't get much sleep last night, an' his cold's a little worse this morning."
"More nightmares?" Chris frowned when the healer nodded and understood now why everyone looked so tired. "Is he going to be able to talk to the Judge this morning?"
Nathan stared over at Ezra who was now wrapped back up in Buck's arms, his thumb stuck in his mouth and tears glistening in his eyes. "Physically he's okay... jus' a little feverish an' achy, but emotionally I ain't so sure. Ya might have a hard time gettin' 'im t' cooperate."
"Well, hopefully once we tell him why he has to talk to the Judge, he'll be good about it. And you and Buck being with him should help some." Chris smiled over at Ezra when the gambler finally noticed he was there and called out his name.
Nathan gave Chris a reassuring pat on the shoulder and moved toward the door. "If he knows it's gonna keep him an' Buck together, then I'm sure ya won't have any trouble with 'im agreein'. I'm gonna go grab some breakfast 'fore the Judge gets here. See if ya can get some more of that tea in 'im... but watch out... his aim's pretty damn good when he decides he's had enough."
Chris laughed softly and turned toward the bed. He wasn't looking forward to telling Ezra what was in store for him today, but it had to be done. He just hoped the poor little guy would be able to handle the talk with the Judge... and his mother... all in the same day.
Vin ran his hand lightly over Ezra's hair before moving off the bed to let Chris take his place. "Ya gonna tell 'im now?"
Chris nodded and sat down beside Ezra, raising his eyebrows in surprise when the younger man quickly moved into his arms.
"Make d'em stop, Chwis... d'ey keep twyin' to make me eat." Ezra's voice was hoarse and scratchy and held the hint of tears. "It huwts too much when I swawwow."
Chris wrapped his arms around Ezra and rocked him slowly. He bent his head to whisper in the smaller man's ear while keeping his eyes on Buck and Vin. "Are they pickin' on my little guy?"
Vin let a small grin tug at his lips as he watched Ezra completely melt into Chris's arms when he heard him take his side.
"Yeah... d'ey'rwe bein' mean to me, Chwis... and I don't feewl good." Ezra whimpered softly as he buried his face in Chris's neck.
"Don't worry... I won't let them bother you now." Chris heard a very tired and grateful 'f'ank you' drift up from the form huddled in his arms, followed by a sweetly whispered, 'Wuv you, Chwis.' Shooting a quick wink at Buck, Chris began rubbing his hand over Ezra's back, soothing him as they rocked slowly back and forth. "I love you, too, Ezra... will you do something for me, Little One?"
Ezra was so happy to have found an ally and so relaxed by Chris's gentle touch, that he was ready to agree with anything the man said. "Mmm... hmm. Anyfing forw you, Chwis."
"Will you drink just a little bit of Nathan's tea for me if Vin sweetens it with a nice big spoonful of honey? I hate seeing you feelin' so bad, and I want to do something to help make you feel better." Chris kept his voice low and soft and continued rubbing Ezra's back as he talked. They'd found that the back rubs went a long way towards calming the gambler whenever he was upset, and Chris was relieved to feel it working again.
Ezra sighed and nuzzled contentedly against the older man's neck. "Wiwll you w'ock me again if I drwink it, Chwis? Pwease?"
Chris grinned smugly at the look of disbelief that washed over Buck's and Vin's faces. They kept forgetting that he'd been through all this before with Adam. He and Sarah had hated doing it this way because it had fed straight into their small son's little ploy of playing one of them against the other, but when it came to giving much needed medicine, they used any tactic that would work. "Okay, Little One... you drink the tea and then we'll rock."
Chris and Buck sat Ezra up on the edge of the bed and kept their arms around him while Vin fetched the mug of tea. Chris held it to his lips and told him to sip it slowly so it wouldn't hurt so much. He managed to get over half of the sweetened herbal brew down Ezra before he began fussing and pleading that he couldn't drink anymore.
Chris set the mug on the bedside table, and then helped the Southerner up and led him over to the chair. He bent his head to Ezra's ear and whispered a quiet suggestion. "You know, I think maybe you ought to ask Buck to rock you. He's liable to get a mite jealous if we keep having all the fun." Chris smiled as he saw Ezra shoot a worried look at Buck, and gladly relinquished his place at the rocker when he heard the gambler make his request and receive an eager acceptance from the ladies man.
Vin helped Chris get Ezra settled on Buck's lap and then headed for the door. "Guess I'll go grab somethin' t' eat an' head out. I took Nathan's turn on patrol so's he could be here with the Little One this mornin'." He glanced at the gambler snuggled tightly against Buck and then at Chris. "Good luck."
Chris nodded his thanks as Vin left, and then turned to pull a chair over next to the two men in the rocker. He and Buck exchanged a nervous look... they hated to do this to Ezra, especially when he didn't feel good, but they had no choice.
"Ezra? Buck and I need to talk to you about something... and you need to be a real brave boy for us, okay?" Chris reached out and took the younger man's hand and squeezed it gently as he saw the look of apprehension that flooded his eyes.
Chris kept his hold on Ezra's hand, hoping the younger man would be able to draw some strength from his touch when he told him what was about to happen. "Ezra... you know we want you to stay here with us... more than anything. And we're ready to do everything we have to to keep you here. But... you're gonna have to help us, little guy."
Ezra looked at Chris and promised quickly, "Anyfing, Chwis... I'll do anyfing to get to stay wif you guys."
"I hope so, Ezra." Chris took a deep breath, glanced at Buck, and finally told the gambler what he had to do. "We need you to talk to Judge Travis and tell him everything you told us about your mama, and how she was always sending you away..."
"I can do d'at, Chwis. I tol' you... anyfing you-" Ezra instantly agreed, but was cut off as Buck continued with what Chris had been trying to tell the gambler.
"Wait, Little One... there's more." Buck hesitated, knowing how badly Ezra was going to hate what he was about to say. He stared into the smaller man's expectant eyes and put his arm around his shoulders. "Ya have to tell the Judge what Uncle Matthew did to ya."
Buck and Chris both felt a tremor of fear ripple through Ezra as he began shaking his head. "No... oh... no, pwease, Buck... I can't do d'at... not d'at..." He turned to Chris, tears streaming down his face, his breathing ragged and harsh as he fought the panic that was flooding through him. "Pwease, Chwis... don't make me do d'at. Anyfing, Chwis... I'll do anyfing you want me to... but... I... I can't tewll. I can't, Chwis... I jus'... can't."
Chris winced as Ezra's fingers dug into his hand, but he held on tight as he tried to explain why he had to do what they wanted. "Ezra, listen to me now... it won't be that bad. You've met Judge Travis... and Nathan and Buck will be right here with you to stop it if it gets to be too much for you."
"Ya know we won't let nothin' happen to ya, Little One." Buck tried to pull Ezra into his arms, but he resisted... holding his body stiffly away from the two men as he shuddered uncontrollably and continued to shake his head.
"But d' Judge wiwll want me to talk 'bout my nightmarwe! I can't do d'at, Buck... I... I can't..." Ezra's eyes were haunted as he stared at the two men.
Buck finally managed to get his arms around the gambler and ease him back against his chest. He started rocking gently as Chris kept trying to get through to him.
"You don't have to talk about your nightmare, little guy... the Judge doesn't even know about it. Just tell him about your mama, Uncle David, and what you already told us about Uncle Matthew. You can do that, can't you?" Chris reached out and smoothed Ezra's hair back, his heart aching with the fear and dread he saw reflected in the young Southerner's eyes. "We want to keep you here with us, and this is the only way to do it. The Judge has to hear what they did to you before he can help us."
Ezra looked hopefully at Chris. "Can't you tewll him what I said? Pwease, Chwis."
Chris debated on letting Ezra know that he'd already told it all to the Judge, but decided it probably would be better if he didn't. "He needs to hear it directly from you, Ezra." He could see that Ezra still wasn't convinced, so as much as he hated to, Chris decided they'd have to try scaring him into cooperating.
He glanced at Buck and hoped he'd go along with what he was about to do and not try to tear his head off instead. Chris took one look at Ezra's tear-stained face and almost changed his mind... until he remembered what was at stake. Ezra's safety and happiness would hopefully be the end result of making him miserable now, so Chris braced himself for what he knew was coming and started.
"Your mama's coming today, Ezra..." he hesitated at the panicked look that immediately washed over the gambler's face. Oh, God... I can't do this to him. Maybe we should just take him now and head to Mexico. Chris looked at Buck, his eyes clearly showing how much this was killing him, and was relieved to see the other man give him a sympathetic look and nod to go ahead with it. "Ezra... if you don't tell the Judge what he needs to know, he'll have to let your mama take you home with her."
The result of Chris's statement was instantaneous and absolutely heart-breaking to witness. Ezra shot straight up in Buck's lap and his face turned almost as white as the nightshirt he wore. His whole body began to tremble, and his eyes... oh God, those incredible green eyes... the hurt that shone out of them was almost painful to look at. It took several tries before Ezra could even bring himself to speak, but when he did his voice held so much anguish, it brought an immediate rush of tears to Chris's eyes. He reached for the stricken gambler, desperately wanting to hold him and tell him they wouldn't let it happen, but Buck quickly grabbed his arm and stopped him. They had to go through with it... nothing else had worked.
"But... but y'all pwomised me you wouldn't w'et d'at happen. You said you'd do anyfing to keep me wif you... Buck? You pwomised... you said..." Ezra began to sob as the terror of knowing he was being taken away from Buck finally penetrated the shock of Chris's words. "No, Buck! Pwease! You can't w'et herw take me! You pwomised me!"
Chris grabbed Ezra's shoulders and forced him to look at him. "It's not Buck's fault, Ezra... the Judge said that if he tries to interfere, he'll have no choice but to put him in jail. He can't take care of you if he's in jail, can he?"
Ezra's eyes grew huge and his voice dropped to a hoarse whisper as he turned his pain-filled gaze on Buck. "You could go to jaiwl? Because of me?"
Buck placed his hand against Ezra's cheek, stroking it gently as he stared deeply into the younger man's eyes and nodded. "Yeah, I might have to. But if that's what I have to do to keep you with me... then I'd gladly go to jail."
"You'd go to jaiwl forw me?" Ezra shook his head slowly, tears streaming down his pale cheeks as he tried to take in what Buck was saying. "You wuv me d'at much?"
Buck slipped his hand around to lightly clasp the back of Ezra's neck and eased him forward until he could whisper in his ear. "I love you that much... I'd do anything, Little One... anything... to keep you safe here with me."
Ezra's breath caught at the love he felt washing over him at that moment and turned his face to press a soft kiss against Buck's whiskered cheek before whispering, "I'll do it, Buck... I'll tewll d' Judge what he wants to know. I won't w'et him put you in jaiwl... I pwomise."
Buck swallowed around the huge lump in his throat and pulled Ezra tight against him, rocking slowly back and forth as he nodded at Chris. "Get the Judge... he's ready."
Chris stood and left without uttering another word.