Road to Hell : Reunion (Rev.)

By Deb


Series/Universe: Family Business

Disclaimers: M7 characters belong to Trilogy, et al. Original characters are all mine ... don't mind if you borrow them, just ask first, give them back intact and give credit where credit is due.

Warnings:Language, references to violence and other unpleasantness. Original characters abound (if you've read SG-7 series, the character of Dawn Jackson has been translated into Aurora Hutchins). Also, Buck and Nathan are very, very bad boys. You have been warned. Special thanks to Cin, and she knows why.

These stories are set after Serpents, so you'll probably find references to all of the episodes, at one time or another.

Continues: Road to Hell : Recovery.

Special thanks to Cin, for betaing for me and for her unflagging support.


Part 11

As Adriana predicted, Vin slept for several hours ... and he didn't awaken until after dinner. Laura had her dinner first, then went into sit with Vin. She took over from Ezra, who was generously granted leave from his duties in the kitchen. The gambler was swearing that would be the last time he helped out a lady. Yeah. Right. As if JD would believe him. They might not trust Ezra when it came to money, but when it came to helping a lady in need, he was almost as much of a Robin Hood as Vin was.

Vin. JD looked back at his friend. They gathered in his room after dinner, after Laura informed them that he was awake. Actually, she 'told' Adriana, who seemed to understand her hand gestures. JD couldn't figure them out, but Laura seemed satisfied with Adriana's understanding. Laertes told Adriana to go ahead, he would clean up the kitchen. JD figured he was lucky he didn't end up with that duty, since Ezra helped in the kitchen earlier.

Instead, he found himself back in Vin's room. His friend could barely talk, but he was awake. Adriana sat on the bed beside him, cross-legged, with Laura perched in her lap. JD and Ezra were on his other side. Ezra knocked JD's hat off, reminding him not to wear them in the house, and especially not in the presence of ladies. Adriana responded by telling him that she wasn't a lady, and that started everything off.

Ezra found it necessary to tell Adriana about Maddy Stokes, who was definitely no lady. Thoroughly enjoying JD's discomfort, he went on to talk about Casey and the times when JD had bungled things with his girl. Casey wasn't his girl. Hell, she dressed like a boy half the time! Adriana listened, then observed, "I've dressed like a boy. Not an especially pretty one, and certainly not as pretty as Vin. Ahhh, put your tongue back in your mouth, Vin, gotta set a good example for Laura! Vin, however, managed to catch a few eyes. Especially after he bathed."

She paused, adding, "And honestly, it's partly my fault he stayed sick as long as he did. When we got him back to the house, we had to bathe him. Several times. I probably didn't dry his hair as well as I could have. That's what almost killed me, after I escaped from my own particular hell. I wanted to get that filth off me. Wanted to wash any lingering ... whatever from that place. I couldn't seem to get clean. No matter how many times I washed myself."

Vin looked away, as if he understood exactly what she meant. Laura patted his hand. Ezra, looking decidedly uncomfortable, said, "Well, my dear lady, it is very hard for me to believe that anyone could mistake you for a member of the masculine gender, even dressed in trousers. You are, most assuredly, a lady." That comment made the clouds disappear from Adriana's face, even as JD rolled his eyes. Trust Ezra!

"A lady? Me? No, Mr. Standish, although I appreciate the sentiment. I think. No, I realized a long time ago that I wasn't a lady, and never would be. I would never be accepted by members of what they call polite society. And that's fine with me. I'm the daughter of a working girl, and I was raised by working girls. That alone sets me apart," Adriana replied. JD glanced over at Ezra, who had unexpectedly turned solemn.

"You are a lady, Miss Adriana, regardless of what so-called polite society says. And though there are those within our fair burg who would disdain one such as yourself, there are just as many who would see the truth," the gambler replied. There was silence in the room, which was broken by a big yawn. Several pairs of eyes blinked, and Laura covered her little mouth with both small hands, blushing.

"Well, gentlemen, I should take this little lady to bed ... I won't be more than a few minutes. Laertes usually tells her a story and tucks her in a second time," Adriana replied. She rose to her feet, lifting the child into her arms. Laura waved goodnight as the young woman carried her from the room, and blew kisses to all three men. Vin blew a kiss back, when Laura pretended to catch in one hand.

Now it was just JD and Ezra with Vin, and JD said, not knowing what else to say, "She's leaving us alone with you?" He could have kicked himself, when he realized what he had said, but Vin just smiled faintly. His voice was still hoarse, and he did little talking. Most of the time, he listened to the stories and the conversation. He was still very tired and very weak, even more so after the confrontation earlier that day.

"Yeah. She figgers since I said ya was okay, was okay for her to leave," came the raspy reply. Vin closed his eyes, taking shallow breaths. JD's heart hurt for his friend. Once he and Ezra returned to the others earlier in the day, JD took the opportunity to ream Nathan again for betraying Vin. Nathan could say it until he was blue in the face ... JD would never accept it was in the best interests of the town, or anyone else, to sell Vin out. Hell, they could have gave him up just for the moment, then ridden to rescue him! They couldn't tell him there was nothing they could have done. He wouldn't believe them. Not in a thousand years.

"Do not attempt to converse with us, my friend. You need to conserve your strength, and heal yourself. I do believe that is the only way I will ever forgive myself for my own perfidy, is if you make a complete and total recovery," Ezra said quietly. JD was working on translating what Ezra just said, but Vin seemed to have no such problem. The tracker reached a hand out to the gambler, which was quickly grabbed and held in both of Ezra's hands.

"Ya ain't got no call to feel guilty, Ez. But I was hopin,' since Drina ain't in here ... she gets mad, hearin' about the others. Was hopin' ya could tell me somethin' that's been eatin' at me," Vin replied. Both JD and Ezra nodded, somewhat confused.

But when Vin asked his question, JD suddenly understood why Vin asked it when Adriana was out of the room. Because it served to make JD furious. Not so much with Vin, although that was certainly true. No ... he was more angry with Buck and Nathan once more, as Vin asked slowly, "Do either a' ya know what I done wrong? If I said somethin' while ... did I say somethin' to make Nathan mad? I mean, y'all coulda took them bounty hunters. Couldn't ya?"

It took JD a moment for his head to clear, after the mini-explosion of rage. Vin thought somehow, this was his fault. Yes, he understood all too well now why Vin waited until Adriana was out of the room. Through the ringing in his ears, JD heard Ezra answer quietly, "You did nothing wrong, Vin. Absolutely nothing! You are in no way to blame for this situation. You did nothing, and said nothing, to cause Mr. Jackson or Mr. Wilmington's terrible judgment."

When he was sure he could think clearly, JD said forcefully, "That's exactly right. You done nothing wrong, Vin! They screwed up, not you! And I will never forgive them, either of them, for that. Never!" Vin blinked, looking more than a little shocked at JD's vehemence, and JD said more calmly, "I'm sorry, Vin. I just want you to understand that nothing you did ... you did nothing to deserve this."

"He's right, Vin. You aren't to blame," Adriana said quietly. JD never even noticed her coming back into the room. He looked up to see pain and a quiet rage in her eyes, but she was calm as she asked, "Do you think I did anything wrong? Did I deserve to be abandoned by my two brothers in that place?" Vin shook his head vehemently, then groaned at the pain which resulted. He shut his eyes, and JD tentatively put his hand on his friend's shoulder.

Vin's hand instantly covered his own, and JD had the sense that Vin was holding onto him for dear life. JD tightened his grasp ... he wasn't going anywhere. No one would ever take Vin from him again. After several moments, Vin's eyes opened, although his breathing was still ragged. Adriana continued, "Then that's the last of that. Laura is sound asleep, and Laertes told me the dishes are done. He'll be in to say good night in a few minutes."

There was a brief, uncomfortable silence, then JD finally asked the question which he knew Josiah, Ezra, and Chris had been wondering about ever since they found out who rescued Vin. He asked, "So ... just how did the two of you meet?" Adriana sat down on the bed beside Vin once more, a faint smile touching her mouth. She really should smile more often, JD thought, unconsciously echoing Vin's words about Charlotte Richmond earlier in the year, it makes her face light up

"Drina was one a' my bounties," Vin answered hoarsely. JD looked at his friend in disbelief. Vin smiled faintly, continuing, "I was hired to bring her back to her parents. 'Cept they wasn't her parents at all. Didn't hold well, neither, with a bunch a' mercenaries chasin' down a nineteen year old girl who was no more dangerous to them than Laura is to any a' ya. So ... reckon ya could say I butted in."

"He means, he saved my life. Damn, Tanner, you haven't changed a bit!" Adriana said, shaking her head. Now that was more like it!

She smiled and said, "To save the strain on Vin's voice, when he really should be sleeping, I'll tell you the story. The first thing you need to know is ... I've done things I'm not proud of. I thought they were necessary at the time. But that's one reason I want you both to understand I'm not a lady, or anything even close. I've killed. More than once. And that was part of why twenty mercenaries were on my tail, as well as a certain nineteen year old bounty hunter ... "


Part 12

Just how did she find herself in these messes? Never mind ... right now, she had to worry about getting herself out of this mess alive. She swiped her matted dark hair back from her eyes, hissing in frustration. It seemed like a good idea at the time ... taking the wagon. Should have taken just the horses, she thought in frustration, the wagon just slowed me down. On the other hand, the wagon was also providing her with a hiding place.

Though not for much longer. Another bullet tore into the wood over her head, and the girl ducked, swearing under her breath. She checked her pistol, swearing once again. She was running out of ammunition, and running out of time. Make each round count, just like she had been taught by her brother and his best friend. She finished loading the weapon and turned, firing a few shots toward her tormentors.

As she did, she saw an unfamiliar figure in the midst of the battle. She frowned ... now who the hell was that? Never mind, she wasn't sticking around to find out. The girl sighted some rocks, several yards to her left, and fired two more shots, before running to her new cover. Her heart pounded in her chest and she took several breaths, counting the remaining men. Fifteen, plus the newcomer.

A buff hunter, from the looks of him ... maybe a buff hunter turned bounty hunter? As if she didn't have enough trouble? Again, she swiped her hair back from her eyes, turning back to make sure none of those bastards had circled around to catch her off guard. She was clear for the moment. But it wouldn't stay that way for much longer. She was tired of running, tired of hiding, tired of living like this.

She had to make a stand. Too bad this time, it would end in her death. She was one against sixteen, and she knew they would kill her. Here, or back in that hell from which she had escaped a year earlier, it didn't make any difference. She bit her lower lip, struggling to keep from crying. Well, if she would die, so be it. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, after the initial agony. She was shot once before. It hurt like hell. 'Long as she died quickly. She was a coward after all. Hated being in pain.

As she came to this decision and started to rise from her impromptu shelter, a booming shot was heard, and one of the mercenaries fell from the horse. She made another quick glance around ... no, no one near her. And then she saw the buff hunter astride his own horse, firing another round, and another merc fell. The girl swallowed hard as he made his way through the remaining men, who seemed to realize they were being picked off by an outsider.

That was enough to send them running, and the buff hunter galloped to where the girl huddled behind the rock. He reached out a hand to her, growling, "C'mon, we ain't got much time!" She didn't need to be told a second time ... she grasped the outstretched hand and swung her onto the horse behind him, clinging tightly to his waist. She was tense, expecting a bullet to tear into her back any moment now.

But it never came, and they galloped away. They rode for what seemed to be hours. She fell asleep, slumped against her unexpected rescuer, waking only when a gentle hand touched her knee. She awoke with a start, and found a pair of blue eyes staring back at her. For the first time, she got a good look at her rescuer, as their faces were only a breath apart. The first thing that entered her mind was, my God. He's just a boy!

The young hunter said softly, "It's okay, we're safe for the moment. Reckon we outrun 'em. Lemme help ya down?" She nodded and put her hands on his shoulders as he eased her down from the horse. Her knees promptly buckled and he caught her, swinging her into his arms. Somehow, he managed to dismount and start a fire without ever waking her. A fire which he carried her to now.

He settled her gently on the ground, on a blanket, then took the space opposite him. He said softly, "Reckon ya was tuckered out. When's the last time ya slept?" The girl frowned, trying to remember. Trying to remember what sleep was. During the last year, her life was a blur of motion, always on the run, always looking over her shoulder. She just looked at him dumbly, not knowing what to say.

He looked away, then asked softly, "What were them killers after? Why they after ya?" The girl laughed, frowning at the sound when she realized it came from herself. She had spoken little in the last year ... laughed, not at all. The laughter had been leeched out of her. She just stared at him miserably. He sighed softly, then said, "Reckon I cain't blame ya. Ya got no reason to trust me. Name's Vin Tanner. Can ya tell me yer name?"

DeeDee. Little princess. Little cunt, more recently. But she replied hoarsely, "Adriana. My name is Adriana." Adriana. She didn't feel like an Adriana at the moment. It was a beautiful name, she was always told so. And she didn't feel beautiful. She felt ugly ... dirty. Violated. As she had for the last four years. She turned her face away from the young man, trembling. She was tired. And cold. And hungry.

She didn't have a home any more. So she couldn't very well want to go home. The young man said softly, "That's a right pretty name. Adriana. Reckon yer right pretty, too. I know I ain't that much to look at, but yer a lady. Reckon ya'd like to clean up?"

Adriana did look at him then, and he added, "I know a river. We can be there tomorrow mornin,' after a few hours ride. Then I can take ya back to yer family. Ya gotta have them, right?" For the second time in less than five minutes, Adriana laughed. Family. Her family was probably dead, killed in the war which she was told was still raging in the East. Things were on the verge of war four years earlier ... the fighting broke out while Adriana was in Mexico.

"I don't have any family. They were killed in the war. My two brothers. My mother is dead," Adriana answered hoarsely. And her father? She hoped her father was dead. Hoped he rotted in hell for all time. Hoped he found out exactly what was done to her, first hand. The young man looked away, but not before she saw tears sparkling in his eyes. Tears? Why would he have tears in his eyes?

"I'm real sorry to hear that. My ma died, too. Didn't have no brothers or sisters. Ya hungry?" the young man asked. Hungry? Adriana looked at him suspiciously. She was more awake now, and wondering why he saved her ... why he was being so nice to her. What did he want from her? Although, Adriana could guess. The same thing most men wanted. Which would explain why he offered her a place to clean up.

And yet ... she was hungry. Passed hungry, really. She kept herself alive for the last four years on her back ... what was one more time? And he was nice looking under the layers of dust, or so it appeared to her. He seemed nice, and that wasn't always the case. Even if he tries to hurt me, she thought, I'm not totally helpless. That was assuming she still had her pistol. There was a reassuring weight against her hand as she touched the portion of her gown covering her thigh. Yes. It was still there.

"Yes ... yes, I'm hungry," she finally replied. The young man ... she thought he said his name was 'Vin,' but she couldn't be sure ... gave her a shy smile. Minutes later, she found herself eating beans, jerky, and hardtack biscuits, washing it all down with water from his canteen. It was more than she had eaten in a long time, and she wasn't sure if she could handle it ... could keep it down. She was okay, though. Except for the exhaustion which swept over her. She felt even sleepier after eating.

She couldn't fall asleep. She still didn't know what this man wanted from her. She had to keep an eye out for those bastards, because she knew her former owners weren't about to give up. Oh, no. Not after she embarrassed them by running away. She humiliated them. They would not give up. She reclined against the bedroll, allowing it to take some of her weight. She would be able to stay awake longer, without the strain on her back and hips. The young man said softly, "If ya want to sleep, I'll keep a look out."

"What do you want? What do you get out of this?" Adriana asked. He looked up at her, surprised, and she continued as she adjusted her position on the bedroll, "I've lived out here for four years. I know people don't help each other out of the goodness of their heart, and they sure as hell don't help someone like me. Not without wanting something in return. Not that I mind giving you what you want. I just want to know what to expect." Probably a mistake, being that blunt, but Adriana was too tired to be tactful.

He stared at her for several minutes, then said softly, "I come out here, 'cause I heard tell 'bout a bounty on a woman. Was hired by folks claimin' to be her parents. I git out here, and there's twenty mercs already huntin' her. A nineteen year old girl, by the name of Adriana Wilmington. Wanna tell me why a nineteen year old girl would be dangerous enough to have twenty mercenaries after her?"

Adriana's blood ran cold. He had saved her, to turn her over to those bastards. She said softly, "Don't be surprised if they kill you, rather than pay you for returning me. They don't like taking chances." The young man sighed, running his arm over his eyes. She continued after a moment, "It surprises me, though. You'll be getting more than a thousand dollars for me. Why does it matter, why all those men were after me?"

"Cause I don't know that I'll be takin' ya back. They done lied to me once. Reckon they cain't be trusted. First time a body lies to me, is the last time," the boy replied. A hardness came into his eyes as he spoke, a fierce determination which spoke badly for anyone who crossed him. Or, for that matter, lied to him. They lied to him. That could make him an ally. If Adriana was willing to trust him.

"I ran away. They were the brokers who sent me to my former owners. I knew sooner or later, they would catch up with me. I'm just surprised it's taken a year," Adriana finally said. The young man mouthed 'owners' in confusion, and Adriana continued, "You ever hear of white slavers? They take young white girls and sell them. I was one of those girls. For three years." She fought back a sob.

The blue eyes became hard as stone and her new companion growled, "No body owns no body else. That ain't right. I ain't takin' ya back. From here on out, I take care of ya. Long as there's breath in my body, no one is takin' ya back to that place." Adriana stared at the young man in disbelief. Did he realize what he was saying? He was a bounty hunter, someone who hunted people for money. And he was vowing now to protect her? Why?


Part 13

"Because Vin's sense of honor wouldn't allow him to take you back. It wasn't about money, it was about doing the right thing. You may have killed, but that wasn't why you were being chased," JD said, interrupting Adriana for the first time since she began her narrative. He was sickened to learn that she was once owned by another person. He couldn't fathom, one person thinking they had the right to own another. He ignored the voice inside his head, reminding him that he rode with a former slave for the last year. He didn't want to think about Nathan. Didn't want to remember how badly Nathan betrayed them all.

"Oh, I know that now. But I was nineteen years old, JD. I had no reason to trust Vin, or anyone else. I took a chance. I turned out to be right. He could have just as easily killed me, or...the point is, I had no way of knowing what would happen," Adriana pointed out. JD couldn't argue with that. He looked at Vin, who had fallen asleep during the narrative. Adriana saw as well and sighed, "We rode together for two years. By the time we had been together for six months ... we were family."

She smiled, her eyes lighting up with a memory, as she said, "The things I could tell you about the jokes we played on each other. I hid his clothes one time, while he was bathing. Then stood on the banks and teased him about how nice he cleaned up. Lord, I'd never seen anyone turn that red!" JD laughed, easily seeing this picture. Adriana's dark eyes sparkled as she added, "There was another time, when we were tracking this murderer in Santa Fe. We stopped in a saloon, and a few of the singers were flirting with him. He turned even redder!"

JD grinned, and Adriana shook her head, smiling. She said softly, "Oh, we had ourselves some times. Of course, there were times when I could have strangled him myself. And, of course, the first time someone else tried to hurt him, I was all over them. No one was allowed to hurt him. He was mine, and I was his, and we would hurt anyone who messed with the other. Trust me. The years before I met Vin, I learned a lot about hurting people."

There was a part of JD which wanted to laugh. But he saw the hatred in her eyes on the porch, because of the betrayal of Vin. He remembered Maddy Stokes. Yes, he believed her. She gently touched Vin's hair, then said, "We should all get some sleep. It's gonna be a long night." She slipped off Vin's bed and down to the floor. JD frowned and she said, "I usually sleep close to the window, in the chair. One of you can take the other chair, and the other can have the bedroll."

She was gonna sleep in here? In Vin's room? But ... but ... but ... that wasn't proper! He looked to Ezra helplessly, but the Southerner said softly, "I shall take the chair, but I insist you take the bedroll. It's hardly comfortable, but I would imagine that it's more comfortable than that bloody chair." JD glared at Ezra. He was supposed to be backing JD up, dammit! Not encouraging Adriana!

"If you're sure ... I'll go into my room and get some extra blankets and pillows. Keep an eye on Vin?" Adriana asked. Ezra inclined his head in agreement, and she slipped from the room. JD was inarticulate. It wasn't proper, her sleeping in Vin's room! She was a lady! Why was Ezra agreeing to this, why wasn't he trying to talk her out of it? He glared at the Southerner, who quietly slipped to the window.

"Are you gentleman enjoying your night under the stars?" the gambler asked, opening the window to speak to his friends. JD was on the verge of protesting, but Ezra continued, "Did you hear what the young lady told us?" Buck and Nathan were slack-jawed, their eyes dull, and for the first time, JD realized neither of them knew about Adriana's past. Simple math would tell them that she was sold into slavery when she was fifteen. Same age she was when she disappeared. Chris nodded grimly.

"I heard. I'm bettin' that's the arrest that's out on Adriana. She ran away, which technically makes her stolen property. I thought this had somethin' to do with her disappearance, more directly. Josiah, I want you to go back into town tomorrow, and wire the judge. Let him know what we found out. Ezra, JD, I want you two to stick close, especially if she tells you what happened on the night of the rescue," the man replied.

JD finally found his voice, practically squeaking, "Chris, you can't mean you're gonna let her spend the night in Vin's room! It ain't right, it ain't seemly!" Chris simply regarded him with cool green eyes, and JD found himself running out of words and air at the same time. He sputtered, "It's just ... I mean ... " Chris didn't say a word. Just gazed at him steadily, the barest hint of a smile appearing.

"JD. They slept around each other on the trail for two years. You really think my little princess is worried about her reputation? After everything she's been through? You think what she went through in those years before she met Vin was right, or proper, or seemly?" Chris asked quietly when JD finally shut up. He didn't wait for an answer, continuing, "And you act as if I have an influence over her at all. I don't, JD. I have no credibility with her. That's why I'm out here. Now, be quiet and do what the lady says."

"And despite her repeated observations to the contrary, she is a lady. However, she is a lady who will do what she believes must be done, and deal with the consequences later. That is how she has chosen to live her life, and I don't believe she regrets any of it. I will not denigrate her like that, Mr. Dunne. Nor should you," Ezra replied coolly. JD found his mouth opening and closing, but nothing coming out.

Ezra turned his attention back to Chris, saying, "You'll be here?" The leader nodded, a grimly determined expression appearing, and Ezra added softly, "The nightmares will be powerful tonight, she thinks. Are you ready for that?" He was cursed with the Larabee glare, and Ezra added softly, "You misunderstand me, Mr. Larabee. I was not doubting your intent to remain here. Merely whether you could tolerate what will torment our fallen colleague tonight."

"Reckon I don't have much of a choice. I ain't leaving, Ezra. I done failed Vin once, it ain't happenin' again. I'm not leaving," Chris answered quietly. JD swallowed hard. This was the first time he had seen the Larabee glare in days, and while it was scary, it was also reassuring. It was the first piece of normalcy since this whole nightmare began. Ezra nodded, a faint smile appearing. He tipped his hat to Chris and eased the window back down.

Not a moment too soon, as Adriana came back into the room just a moment later. Her arms were filled with blankets and pillows, which the two men quickly removed, before she tripped over her own feet. She smiled at them, which JD barely saw because he couldn't bear to look into her eyes. The others were right. Damn, when would he learn? Vin was still sick, and he would need Adriana nearby.

"When can we expect the first nightmare, Miss Adriana?" Ezra asked softly as he arranged the pillows and blankets in the chair. Adriana sighed deeply, settling herself on the bedroll.

For a moment, for just a moment, JD saw a flash of the young girl she was when she first met Vin. The defenses were down, if only for that brief second. Adriana replied, "Usually, after he's been asleep for a few hours. By that time, we're all asleep." As if hearing what JD planned to ask, before he asked it, she gave him a dark look and said, "And you'll know when it happens. Believe me. You'll know."


Part 14

It took Buck forever to get to sleep that night. DeeDee's words kept chasing each other in his head. Sold into slavery when she was fifteen. White slavers. He knew about those people. Knew what happened to the girls who were taken by them. And Buck felt like he would be sick. Especially after he realized that Chris knew about this as well. What other things had his 'old friend' known about and neglected to tell him, especially where his little sister was concerned?

It was late before he finally slipped into an uneasy rest. He was awakened by what seemed to be mere seconds later, as an unholy scream shattered the night. Buck awakened with a jolt, reaching for his pistol. What the hell kind of animal made that kind of noise???? A second anguished scream followed the first, recognizable now as a word. 'No.' And Buck's blood froze. That wasn't no animal. That was Vin!

The others were all sitting up, except Josiah, who had been on watch. Uneasy glances passed between the four men, though Buck found himself flinching when Vin keened, "Oh, God, No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" There were several moments of what would have been silence, if not for the sound of Vin's harsh breathing. They were outside, outside the house, and they could hear him breathing.

And then he screamed, a full-blown, full throated cry, "Goddamn you, Chris! Damn you to Hell! Larabee!!!!! Don't you leave me here, you bastard!!!!!!!" Buck felt all the blood leave his face and an icy hand grip his insides. Vin was screaming himself hoarse in English, Spanish, and some Indian dialect which Buck didn't recognize, threatening Chris with a thousand kinds of hurt for abandoning him. Lights went on in the room, and Josiah pulled himself to his full height, stepping closer to the window as movement could be heard within the house.

Buck glanced at Chris out of the corner of his eye, and knew in that moment that Chris would never forgive him or Nathan. Even if he could have forgiven them for the decision they made, even if he could forgive them for shutting out those who would have helped them, he would never forgive them for the lie. Because of Nathan, Vin believed Chris had betrayed him, believed Chris abandoned him.

Chris asked quietly, "What's going on in there, Josiah?" He seemed to be ignoring the stream of expletives coming from Vin ... as well as JD's frantic attempts to calm him down. 'Seemed to be' was the operative phrase. Buck, who had known Chris for more than twelve years, saw the pure rage in the green eyes, the sorrow each time Vin cried out. No ... no, for this, Chris would never forgive them.

A second silence fell. Josiah was staring into the room, then turned to face them, his expression bleak. He whispered, "He's crying. He's crying in her arms. God forgive us all. He's crying. Vin Tanner is crying." Buck pushed himself to his feet and looked into the room, bracing himself for what he would see. He saw the truth of Josiah's words. Vin was huddled in DeeDee's arms, his head resting against her chest as she gently rocked him.

Small hands eased down Vin's back and hair. JD was sitting on her other side, tears rolling down his face as he found himself helpless to ease his friend's pain. DeeDee rocked Vin back and forth, murmuring to him, and for the second time that night, Buck heard something that made his blood run cold. Vin asking in a voice made hoarse from screaming, "Why? Ya said I done nothin' wrong, so why, Drina?"

God help them. Vin thought he had done something wrong. He thought he did something wrong, that somehow, he deserved their betrayal. Buck missed what his sister said, as he slumped against the window and slid down the wall. Chris stepped to the window, but Buck didn't hear what he said. Didn't hear what any of the others said. Only heard Vin quietly sobbing. One of the strongest, most capable man he had ever known ... crying.

Like the abandoned child he was. Now Buck understood. Not everything, because he still didn't know what had been done to his friend in that place. He knew about the beatings. What didn't he know? Now he understood why Ezra asked Chris if he was ready for this. Buck couldn't have spoken for Chris, but he did know he wasn't ready to hear this. It was worse than when Chris was in Jericho. They came for him ... but they allowed Vin to be taken from them. They just let him go, without a fight. They let one of theirs go, let him think he wasn't worth fighting for.

Vin crying. My God. Vin never cried. Not even when they left Charlotte Richmond and the rest of the settlers behind, not even when his heart was broken. But he was crying now. Buck saw him shaking in Adriana's arms, and the big man felt sick. He had done this to Vin. He and Nathan. They shattered Vin's soul, and shattered the Seven. Even if the others forgave him, Buck now knew he could never forgive himself.

Not for what he had done to his sister. Not for what he had done to Vin. He was responsible for breaking Vin's heart. Because of him, one of the most stable, strongest men Buck Wilmington ever had the privilege to know, was crying in the arms of Buck's younger sister.

The same younger sister whom Buck abandoned and betrayed, because he couldn't face her death. He couldn't face her death, so he allowed her life to be turned into a living hell. He shook his head distractedly, unable to hear anything because of the buzzing in his ears. How did he make this right? How could he make this right? This was no longer about making a bad decision ... this was more.

He now saw what Chris had been trying to tell him all along. Chris, and Vin, could never trust either of them again. Until he heard Vin's screams of rage and terror, Buck hadn't understood. He never understood just how deeply he damaged his relationship with each of the other six. Whatever hell Vin faced in that ... monstrosity, it wounded him to the core of his soul. And Chris Larabee's words of earlier came back to him. Was it worth it, he had said, whatever you got out of this?

Buck finally had an answer. He thought of the days after the bounty hunters took Vin away, helpless and barely conscious. He thought of Mary, Inez, Casey and Miss Nettie. He thought of Ezra no longer speaking to him, of the look in Vin's eyes when he was taken away. He thought of everything that had gone wrong since he and Nathan gave Vin up. Was it worth it? Had they protected the town, had they kept the peace? Was it worth, the little they gained?

No. Nothing could ever be worth the sound of a strong man weeping like a child, in the arms of another abandoned child. Nothing could be worth the sound of that man, damning the men he once trusted, the men whom he thought were his friends. The men who betrayed him. It wasn't worth Mary's coldness, Inez's fury, Nettie's hatred. It wasn't worth Chris Larabee's icy silence, JD Dunne's bitter barbs, or Josiah Sanchez going Old Testament. It wasn't worth losing his sister's love. This ... had all been ... for nothing.


Part 15

The days since Vin's return to full consciousness were marked with nightmares, and Adriana, never a heavy sleeper, found herself becoming an even lighter sleeper. That was why she awakened with the first scream that night. She learned from past experience to light the lanterns when Vin was in the middle of a nightmare, as the light seemed to chase the darkness away, both physically and metaphorically.

That may have also been why Vin never had nightmares when he slept during the day. She kept the curtains closed, so the sun wouldn't hurt his eyes, but the light filtered into the room nonetheless. At night, she opened the window just a notch, because he seemed to rest easier when he could breathe the cool night air. He wanted to be outside. She knew Vin Tanner, knew that he was quietly biding his time until he could go outside again.

He was grateful for what she and Laertes did ... but he was highly independent. Always was. Adriana smiled faintly, remembering how hard it was for him to let her take care of him. Especially in the beginning. He was better about it now, though she could still see the sadness in his eyes when he looked outside. He tried to hide it from her, the sadness was often there when he thought she wasn't looking.

These were the thoughts drifting in her mind as Adriana fell asleep, that and other memories of their two years riding together. She fell into a light sleep, dreaming of happier times. Dreams that were shattered when Vin screamed. Adriana bolted awake ... lantern. Light the lantern, she had to get light into the room. It was pure instinct by now ... instinct that was created by habit. Her fingers fumbled with the lantern for several seconds, struggling to light the lantern in the dark, then light filled the room.

By now, both JD and Ezra were awake. She ignored them as she threw herself onto the bed beside Vin, lifting him into her arms as she tried to wake him up. His eyes were open, but he wasn't awake. Adriana flinched at some of the curses he was directing toward Chris Larabee, though she had a hard time blaming him. But she continued talking to him, wiping the sweat from his face, until finally the blue eyes cleared.

They stared at each other for several moments, and Adriana whispered, "You with me now?" He nodded, shuddering. Adriana didn't say anything after that, just pulled him into a tight embrace, knowing what came next. She was vaguely aware of JD talking soothing nonsense beside her and ignored him. Vin shook in her arms, and a familiar rage began building in her soul once more. Until the rescue, and the return of Vin's memories, she never saw him cry before. And now, he wept in her arms after every nightmare, like a frightened child.

Her brother did this to him. Because of him, the one person Adriana always knew she could count on was weeping in her arms, because of her brother, Vin's nightmares reduced him to these heartbreaking sobs. She gently rocked him as he wept in her arms, stroking his hair and his back, until he cried himself out. And then, he broke her heart by whispering, "Why? Ya said I done nothin' wrong, so why, Drina?"

Adriana had no answer for him. And she couldn't have spoken, even if she did have the answer. She was still shaking. Vin had terrible nightmares in the past, but this was the worst one since he regained consciousness. The appearance of his so-called friends was at the heart of this, she was willing to bet. She said softly, "Scoot over." He wasn't gonna argue with her ... she knew that as soon as he shifted his body on the mattress.

Adriana released him long enough to shift her weight, but never totally let him go. Once she settled, she once more drew him into her arms, murmuring, "I'm here, Vin, I've got your back." He was still trembling, though not as badly. And at least part of that was because she was cold. He had kicked off the blankets when the nightmare hit. She looked around, and an ashen-faced Ezra Standish handed her the blanket from the floor. He couldn't look her in the eye, not even when she softly thanked him.

"Sorry ... don't know why ... did I scare Laura?" Vin rasped, sounding more like himself.

She smiled faintly as she lightly caressed his hair. Trust Vin to be worried about someone else when he was still shaking from the effects of his nightmare. Adriana murmured, "Laertes will be in here in a minute to check on us ... I'll have him look in on her. She probably slept through it. After three years in the prison camp, she's probably used to far worse." As she predicted, Laertes lightly knocked on the door and peeked in. She mouthed, 'Laura,' and he nodded, closing the door behind him as he went to check on the little girl.

Vin wasn't ready to go back to sleep, but she didn't think he would be. He murmured, "How's come ya never rescued her 'fore, Drina?" That was a good question. She wanted to. More than once. But every time Adriana helped a prisoner escape, the little girl always disappeared when it was time to go.

"I guess," she said slowly, "Laura wasn't ready to leave. Every time we rescued someone else, she was nowhere to be found. It was the only home she could remember. And then, on that night ... there she was. Laertes was carrying you to safety, and I was covering your backs. And there she was." Adriana paused, remembering. It was before the fire, just after she and Laertes left the infirmary, Vin cradled protectively against the big man's chest.

Laura came out of nowhere and held her arms out to Adriana. The young woman scooped her up, and covered the escape with a pistol in one hand, and carrying Laura with the other. Adriana looked at the two men who were seated on either side of her, felt Vin moving restlessly in her arms. She asked softly, "Are you ready to hear about that night, Kevin? The night of the rescue?"

"Are ya ready ta tell me, Drina? Or is it gonna hurt ya too much?" Vin responded. He figured it out ... no, not about the rescue itself, but he figured out how hard it was for her to think about the night she and Laertes rescued Vin. The night she almost killed him. A part of her wanted to end the conversation, wanted to tell Vin that she would only give him more nightmares. But the strongest part of her said she was being a coward. It was time Vin knew the truth.

"I don't think I'll ever truly be ready, Vin," she answered softly, "but this is the best I can do. You deserve to know the truth, deserve to know how close I came to killing you that night." She looked at the two men, JD Dunne and Ezra Standish, adding, "What about you? Are you ready to hear how you almost lost him forever?" The pair looked at each other, and JD dropped his eyes.

However, it was Ezra who replied somberly, "My dear girl, we believed for a time that we did lose him. We did not know for certain until we reached that Godforsaken area known as 'Pordios' that our companion was still alive. You have been carryin' this burden alone for far too long. I recognize that Sheriff Dunne and myself are not large men ... but our shoulders are strong enough to help you with your load. You have my word on that."

"That's Ezra's way a' saying that ya should tell 'em everythin,' Drina," Vin advised, his voice muffled by her nightgown. Adriana smiled. Yes, she thought as much.

"I hardly think Miss Wilmington needs a translation of proper grammar, Mr. Tanner," Ezra reproved. Vin squirmed a little in Adriana's arms, until his head was resting on her shoulder, and he could see Ezra and JD more clearly. Laertes had returned, nodding to indicate that Laura was fine, so she didn't see what Vin did next. She did, however, hear the gambler's indignant, "Mistah Tannah!" As well as Vin's impish chortle. That gave her the courage to start.

Continued...


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