Disclaimer: All the characters from the "Magnificent Seven" T.V. series are property of Trilogy Entertainment, The Mirisch Group, MGM Worldwide.
By the time Neil Blackwood was aware of the bank robbery, the shooting was well and truly over with nothing left to do but to visit the scene like some tourist with a penchant for blood. Most of the townsfolk were still remaining safely indoors, unwilling to gamble with their lives unless they were absolutely certain that the danger had passed. Blackwood had no such qualms about his life, having faced far worse than a simple bank robbery in his lifetime. However, he was a veteran of too many gunfights to know that it was sometimes wiser to hold back until the shooting was done before he rushed out and inquired after his son.
The more and more Blackwood heard about his son and after meeting him that first time, he had decided that his ruminations were over. He wanted JD in his life. It was odd this feeling of paternal pride that had come out of nowhere and ensnared him so completely. There was a time not too long ago that Blackwood had never even considered having children or a family for that matter. There was always a warm figure in the night to keep him company if he so desired and for anything else he cared to talk about, well what use were women for such things? He had never met one yet who could make him think of the things men were supposed to dream of, like family and settling down. While he recognized that the female gender was a delightful concept, in practicality they were most troublesome.
Had that foolish girl in that small town bore him a daughter, Blackwood doubted he would have taken the trouble that he had to find the child. However, a son, that was different. A son had inspired his curiosity, to see what god would chose to give Neil Blackwood in his own image. He wanted to know if what a son of his would be like and until he actually met JD, Blackwood had never imagined he would want to claim one as his own.
It was hard not to like the boy even though he had a streak of idealism that bordered on the annoying. Blackwood had to assume that JD was content with so little in his life because it was what he was accustomed to. By all accounts, the young man's prowess with a gun indicated that he was not only very good but would become even more impressive once time and experience had tempered his skill. He had chosen six very formidable men as his allies and that he had obviously learnt a great deal from. And Blackwood supposed it was the Almighty's sense of humor that made the boy choose law enforcement as a choice of profession.
Well once JD was made aware that the world could be his for the taking, Blackwood was certain the boy's hopes for the future would not be so limited. In truth, Blackwood began envisioning JD's entry into his world back in Chicago. It would take time to acquaint himself to what Blackwood could offer him but judging by JD's survival in Four Corners, he was if anything adaptable. However, the time for secrets was over. JD needed to know who he was and Blackwood wanted to tell him. He suspected the boy might have guessed the truth on some level, even if his mind was unable to accept it at the moment. Who knew what fanciful tales his mother might have told JD about his father?
After the shooting had settled down, Blackwood left the hotel in order to find his son. He arrived at the scene of the crime where the stains of blood were still fresh on the ground where the dead had fallen. The German hotel proprietor as well the bank clerk were telling bombastic tales about how Chris Larabee and his men had prevented the killing from continuing any further by ending the murderous spree right where they were standing at this moment. After a little more focussed inquiry from Zimmer, Blackwell learnt JD had taken a hit and was presently being tended to by the local doctor, incredibly a woman.
Wasting no time and anxious at having learnt the boy had sustained an injury, Blackwood wasted no time making his way to the clinic of Alexandra Styles Tanner, not at all happy at the prospect of his son being treated by a woman. Not to mention that half of the 'doctors' in the territory had no real professional knowledge since practicing without a license was not exactly illegal in these parts. Blackwood had no idea how he would tell JD about their relationship, although there had never been a point in his life where he did not have a standing alibi ready for use. The nature of his existence made such a thing a necessity. He was certain he would have no difficulty conjuring a plausible story for the young man regarding his absence for the past twenty years.
In any case, it was time JD Dunne knew where he was from and what the future held for him.
"Nathan sit still!" Alex barked as the healer continued to complain and argue while he attempted to climb out of the examination table where Vin and Ezra had placed him after they had found him wounded and bleeding on the rooftop.
"I'm fine Miss Alex," Nathan grumbled. "It ain't that bad. It's just a flesh wound." He tried to convince her as she continued to clean the wound. He had been hit far worse before and Nathan had always managed to patch himself together somehow. Besides, JD was lying on the next bed, looking pale and trying to hide the pain he obviously must have felt.
When JD had been brought in here, he had been tended to first mostly because the bullet had nicked the femoral artery just enough to cause serious bleeding and were the tear in the thin lining of vein allowed to grow, he would have died in minutes. Even though he tried to be brave, the sight of so much blood was overwhelming for someone unaccustomed to it and despite himself, his pallor whether or not attributed to the loss of blood of the sight of so much of it, was somewhat gray.
"God!" Alex exclaimed. "You're almost as bad as Chris!" She glared at him and kept her arm firmly on the injured shoulder as an instruction to stay still.
"I am not that bad!" Chris Larabee who was standing over JD, seeing how the kid was doing looked over his shoulder and retorted with a hint of petulance and teasing. It was amusing to watch Chris and Alex around each other for theirs was a curious relationship of antagonism. When it came to the welfare of anyone of them, Alex had a stubbornness to her that not even Mary could not hold a candle to and the only one amongst them with that much will power was Chris Larabee. Though no one would mention it to either of them, their battle of wills on this subject was almost a source of amusement to both doctor and gun slinger.
"Says this of the man whom I had to sedate with a needle in the butt to stay in bed." Alex returned swiftly and garnered a smirk from Chris.
"Hey leave my bare ass out of this." Chris retorted, wearing a smile of mischief on his face, aware that half the reason for their banter was to let ease the tension in the two patients in the room.
"Don't flatter yourself," Alex could not resist the opportunity to add as she glanced over her shoulder at met Chris' gaze with an equally playful expression on her lovely features. "That wasn't that much to see."
Vin knew better than to get involved in the verbal duel between his wife and his best friend, often preferred sitting back and enjoying the fireworks. It reminded him of some of their more heated arguments in the beginning and though he was glad that they had moved past that in their relationship (well mostly), it was good to see she had not lost her touch at sparing.
"How you doing JD?" Vin asked as JD tried not to laugh at the conversation taking place between Chris and Alex.
"I'm okay," JD answered. "Leg's a little sore but I'll be okay."
"Do you want us to send for Casey?" Vin looked at him and knew that the girl herself would want to be notified. He made a little note to ride out to Nettie's after leaving here and telling Casey what had happened. After all, she was his fiancée' now.
"No," JD shook his head, seeing no reason to worry Casey unnecessarily for the time being. He was not dead and though he knew he would hear no end of it when she did find out that he had been hurt and not called to his side. "I don't want to worry her. It can wait until she gets into town tomorrow."
"You're in the mood for a lot of pain ain't ya?" Vin gave the younger man a little smile. Perfectly aware of how Casey was going to react when she did learn that he had been shot and not allowed anyone to let her know. Injured leg or not, Casey was not about to take something like that lying down.
JD chucked and eased back onto the soft pillow, feeling the effects of the sedative Alex had given him for the pain starting to wash over his body. It was not going to make him sleep but it had relaxed him a great deal and the pain seemed distant in his mind, which was good, because the leg did ache terribly. Still he had saved Julia Pemberton's life as Ezra had thanked him just before the gambler had escorted the lady home. Julia herself had come to him as JD was being brought here and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, giving her own thanks. JD smiled bemused because he could still smell her perfume in her lungs and wondered what scent she used.
The creak of the door, signaled its opening and Vin peered out of the cubicle, which served as Alex treatment room to see Blackwood and his companion making their entry. If any doubt had remained in Vin's mind as to the relationship between the older man and JD, the appearance of Blackwood extinguished all that. The fear that Josiah and he had confessed to earlier today regarding the truth they knew but hoped JD would not find out for a good while, suddenly arrived at his door step and the tracker had no idea how to stop it.
Chris who had noticed the arrival took the lead, unaware of what Vin had discovered because there had been little chance for the tracker to tell him, if Vin had ever had any intention of doing so. He left his sparing with Alex and stepped out into the hallway that led from the doorway that Blackwood had just entered. Vin followed him closely, waiting to see what Blackwood's intentions were with his arrival here. Blackwood seemed to be scanning the clinic, trying to determine what sort of place was currently giving JD's injuries care. When Chris and Vin stepped out into the open, Blackwood's inspection terminated immediately and he crossed the floor to meet them halfway.
"Mr Blackwood." Vin greeted.
Chris glanced quickly at Vin wanting to question the tracker when he had met Neil Blackwood of whom had been the conversation of late. There was something hard in Vin's eyes that immediately put Chris on guard and he looked at Blackwood sharply. "Can we do something for you?" Chris asked coolly, biding his time to see what the situation was until he had time to ask Vin about it privately.
"I heard JD was shot." Blackwood wasted no time coming to the point. "He is all right?"
"He took a hit in the leg," Chris responded, confused at why Blackwood would care. Although, now that he met the man face to face, Chris could not deny that there was something in Blackwood's face that seemed familiar. He just could not put his finger on why. Still his concern about JD seemed genuine and until Vin explained things, Chris could see no reason to keep the status of JD's health a secret. "It could have been serious but its been tended to."
"By whom?" Blackwood demanded shortly. "This woman calls herself a doctor, what kind of country quack is she?"
Vin immediately stiffened and retorted. "The kind that is my wife." He said with a low growl.
"No offense intended," Blackwood returned automatically. "But there are a lot of people in these parts who call themselves doctors, saw bones and witch doctors. I want him looked at by someone who actually went to medical school."
"I went to medical school." Alex snapped emerging from the cubicle and glaring at the man who dared call into question her abilities, although in truth she could not deny that he had brought up a valid point. She had heard the discussion outside and was rather annoyed because JD seemed clearly disturbed by Blackwood's presence and Nathan just kept wanting to get up and go investigate with Chris and Vin. "I was called to the Register of Physicians at London, England. I graduated from Oxford University as a surgeon and general practitioner. Is that good enough for you?"
Blackwood stared at the woman before him and noted the little smile on the tracker's face and the one of amusement on the gunslinger. He too had to confess to admiring the spirit of the woman as she stood him down daring at his audacity to question her. Glancing in Zimmer's way, his offsider merely shrugged, a gesture which usually meant that he was on his own.
"I stand corrected." He apologised with a slight bow of respect, a gesture that disarmed not only the lady but also her husband with the very prominent Winchester. "Doctor Tanner?"
"Yes," Alex replied tartly. "Now, care to explain why you are causing such a fuss in my clinic?"
"I want to know if the boy is alright." Blackwood responded, deciding that there was no reason to be uncivil and he wanted some answers.
"He's fine," Alex looked at Chris and Vin, puzzled at Blackwood's interest. While Chris could offer her no answer, Alex noted the expression on Vin's face that told her something was the matter even if they could not discuss it right at this minute. "He took a bullet to the leg. I have removed it and repaired the damage. It was very close to the femoral artery so it could have been life threatening. He'll need to rest for a few days but other then that he should be on his feet in a week or two. Might I ask what is your interest in JD?"
Blackwood chose to ignore the question. Despite how intriguing he found the lady, he was in no mind to discuss his relationship with JD before he had a chance to talk to the boy himself. "Whatever it costs, I'll pay for it. I want him under the best care."
"With or without your money," Alex retorted. "He would have that anyway."
"Alright," Chris' patience was finally reached. "What's going on? Why all the interest?"
"Chris..." Vin spoke up, suddenly afraid that Blackwell might choose to answer that question.
"I want to see him." Blackwood ignored the questions asked of him again and demanded.
"He's resting." Alex said quickly, suddenly developing a bad feeling about all this herself.
"He's going to be fine you said ma'am," Mr Zimmer interrupted. "If so, let my employer see him."
"I'll have to ask him." She had to concede. "If JD says no, you will leave."
"That's for damn sure." Chris declared just to lend weight to her words.
"You gonna make me Larabee?" Blackwood turned to the gunslinger and issued that challenge. "You're gonna arrest me for wanting to visit with a sick man?"
"It's alright!" JD's voice suddenly sang out from the cubicle, obviously having heard the escalation of tempers and had no wish for things to get any worse, especially if the tone of Chris' voice was anything to go by. "Let him through."
Blackwood returned Chris' sharp stare and remarked coolly and with a hint of smugness, which in Alex's opinion was destined to get it wiped off with fist from the gunslinger if he continued with this arrogance. The man gazed at Zimmer and spoke in the same language that Chris and Vin often did, without words. Zimmer nodded shortly and remained behind as Blackwood walked past him and started towards the cubicle.
"I can find my way." He said to Chris and Vin as he continued down the hall.
Chris not about to concede defeat in any shape or form, returned just as quickly. "We'll be right behind you."
Blackwood bristled at the intrusion but supposed that he was not going to get the privacy he had wanted when telling JD the truth. These men protected their young charge with almost paternal affection and he doubted that there was very much he was going to say that would cause them to leave when they were unaware of their intentions towards the young man. While he should be feeling gratitude towards them for their desire to protect JD, Blackwood did not. Instead he saw the growing potential of difficulty by their reaction to his plans to taking JD from this violent backwater.
JD had recognized Blackwood's voice the moment the man had stepped into the clinic and caused such discourse between his friends in his efforts to reach JD. Once again that feeling of dread emerged inside JD as Blackwood rounded the corner of the cubicle and appeared next to his bed. Chris and Vin were standing close by while Alex returned to treating Nathan who was just as puzzled by the rest of them by Blackwood's concern for JD. Vin however, seemed to be staring just a little bit more intently and the look of confusion that was prevalent on the faces of the others was devoid on the tracker's. JD reminded himself to ask Vin what it was he thought he knew.
"You wanted to see me." JD said as soon as Blackwood approached his bed. He tried to sound gruff and abrupt as Chris often managed whenever the gunslinger was hurt and wished no one to bother him about it.
"I heard you got hurt." Blackwood responded, his eyes moving over JD's leg and taking note of the injury. His disapproval was clear but he said nothing on that point as he regarded his son once more. "I wanted to check on you to see if you were okay."
"I'll live," JD replied with a shrug. "I've had much worse." Which was not a lie but the truth. When Maddie had shot him in the stomach, JD had thought he was going to die and rightly so for a bullet to the gut was not something that could be forgotten easily and it took him a long time to get better. This injury to his leg though no less painful was superficial.
"I'll bet you have." Blackwood nodded, trying to think how to say this. "Listen kid," the older man sucked in his breath and let it out again when he looked over his shoulder and saw the faces waiting for him to continue. "I don't know how to say this so I'm going to. It's not going to be easy to hear and I'm sure you don't want this anymore than I did when I found out but its the way things are and we have to deal with it."
Chris saw Vin tense next to him and immediately straightened up himself. JD's expression was still of puzzlement but there was the looming fear that was starting to show in his eyes, sort of like the way the sun rose across the horizon in the morning. It came on suddenly and yet completely anticipated by those who were waiting for its arrival.
"Deal with what?" JD asked almost fearfully. Ever since he met Blackwood, this moment was frozen in his mind, the instance when he learnt why it was the man made him so uncomfortable. When all the answers were laid before him in its entirety, no matter how ugly or uncomfortable it was. He had hoped it would never come but somehow, it was here before him where he could neither hide from it nor turn away because as much as he feared what Blackwood might tell him, there was instinct inside JD that needed to know.
"With the fact that I'm your father." Blackwood answered holding nothing back.
And there it was.
It impacted in JD's ear like the sound of breaking glass, with fragments scattering everywhere inside his psyche. Time seemed to bleed away, having no meaning for him as he simply stared at Blackwood. His mind seemed a whirlpool of emotion as the news seeped into his skin, absorbing itself through his pores until it saturated the blood and it coursed through his body. He wanted to scream and shout and call the man a liar because what he was hearing was too fantastic, too unbelievable except that somewhere deep inside him, in a crevasse of great darkness in the very of him, he knew that it was the truth.
From the moment he had met Neil Blackwood, JD had sensed something undefinable but nonetheless powerful. It whispered possibilities in his sleep and explained to him the mystery at how he could have come from such a gentle creature as his mother, when all he felt was this wild reckless need for danger. He had thought it had come from his father, this instinct inside him that made him one of the seven and supposed in retrospect, that he was correct. JD knew what had made him so unsettled that first day meeting Blackwood; it was the fact that he knew the eyes studying him with such scrutiny. They were the same eyes that stared at him through the mirror.
While JD seemed locked in some dark place where neither speech nor answers could be made, the reaction of his friends were not so silent.
"If this is your idea of a joke, I ain't laughing." Chris declared. "How the hell could you be his father?"
"That isn't any of your business." Blackwood replied sharply, angered that he had to do this in front of an audience.
"It is my business if you're trying to hurt JD." The gunslinger retaliated, not at all trusting this man and hating to admit that Blackwood could be telling the truth. The expression he saw in JD's eyes was enough to convince him the possibility might exist and judging by the hardened look on Vin, this was not entirely surprising news to the tracker.
"I'm not trying to hurt him!" Blackwood insisted staring at Chris. "I'm trying to tell him the truth."
"He knows the truth," Vin retorted backing up Chris as he always did but would feel just as strongly about this even if it was not for that purpose. "His father died in the war."
"No he didn't," the man countered. "I'm his father."
"Stop saying that!" JD shouted and silenced them all with his outburst.
When all eyes both startled and worried turned in his direction, they saw JD was breathing hard. There were no words to describe the anguish etched in that young face, the terrible knowledge that had been unlocked with the news he had received with no preparation whatsoever. Chris did not know what to do, he felt responsible for JD and wished he had the words to drive this pain from the young man but he did not. Vin on the other hand, knew precisely what he wanted to do. Kick Blackwood out of town and never let him near either JD or Four Corners ever again. Alex stared at the young man, her friend and part of her extended family. She wanted to hold him, to wrap her arms around him and protect him from the news he had received so suddenly.
"Everybody," Nathan Jackson spoke suddenly, his voice slicing through the tension so thick in the room at the moment, it could not be sliced apart, even with Alex's sharpest scalpel. "I think we need to give JD and Mr Blackwood some time alone."
"Are you kidding?" Vin looked at the injured healer.
"He's right," Alex spoke up in support of Nathan's words. "They need to talk and we being in the way, is just going to make this harder. Vin, you know I'm right."
Vin shifted uncomfortably in his buckskin coat, wishing to hide from her words but she was correct. He met her gaze and nodded slightly.
However, Chris was not entirely convinced. He was not at all happy to leave Blackwood here with JD, not after what the young man had just been told. News like this had a way of changing a person and Chris found that he had liked the man JD had become to want to lose him by allowing him to become someone else. Whether or dead or alive, Chris had lost entirely too many people in his life to tolerate that. Still, Nathan had brought up a valid point. This was between JD and Blackwood, Chris could not bring himself to say father just yet and he still had difficulty in believing Blackwood's claim but it was not up to him to believe it but rather JD.
"JD," Chris said gently as he saw JD sitting on his bed staring away from them and Blackwood, trying to hide the despair in his face and controlling the tears that wanted to come. Chris knew the kind of pain that inspired such tears and knew that JD would not wish to shed them in front of anyone. "Do you want us to go?"
He looked up at Chris, trying to be strong, trying to hide all the fear and pain in his face but knew that nothing could be hidden from the gaze of those powerful eyes that seemed to see through so much at time. "Not far." He said after a moment, his voice barely a whisper. "I need to talk to 'Mr Blackwood' here but you don't have to go far."
Chris nodded slightly, understanding completely and was glad that he was given permission to remain near enough for JD to call if he needed them. More than anything, Buck should have been here today but in the absence of his old friend, Chris would do everything necessary to protect JD from this man and his gut instinct told him that protection was needed indeed.
"Come on Nathan," Alex said and motioned for Vin to help her with Nathan who was staunchly of the belief that he needed no aid in being helped to another room, however, the moment was such that he had no need to voice it. Chris gave JD a parting look as they stepped out of the cubicle, a wordless indication that they were there if he needed them and then gave Blackwood a very different look that told the man that to hurt JD, was to court death in all its ugly form.
Once they were alone, JD turned to the man before him, the man who claimed to be his father. The more he looked at Blackwood with this knowledge in his mind, the more JD could believe that it was true.
"You wanted to talk," he said swallowing hard, his lips quivering as he tried to control his emotions. "Talk."
"Alright," Blackwood let out a deep breath and retreated back a little, resting against the bed previously occupied by Nathan Jackson. "We barely knew each other. I was staying at the hotel owned by your grandparents when I met your mother. She was just a kid. Hell we both were. We met and we liked each other, even though we knew it wasn't going to last." Blackwood saw no reason to give specifics about his relationship with the boy's mother. After all, she had been an itch that needed scratching and there was no reason for JD to know that Blackwood barely remembered her after that night. Not until he discovered some twenty years later that she had borne him a son.
"We spent some time together and when it was time for me to move on, we did. There were no bad feelings between us, she knew that I wasn't ready to be tied down and I don't think she had in mind to be married either. We went out separate ways. I tried to stay in touch, wrote a couple of times but after awhile, my letters came back unopened. I figured she wanted to forget me so I never went searching for her."
Blackwood had made his revelation without the boy saying a word. JD was staring at the floor but Blackwood could tell his words were having a profound effect on his son. JD's jaw was tensed and every now and then Blackwood could see him clenching his teeth as if trying to keep his anguished emotions from spilling out in an embarrassing display. Thinking of nothing else to do, Blackwood continued.
"A couple of months ago, I went back that way again. I looked your mother up because I wanted to see how she was doing, I don't know maybe catch up on some old memories. When I was there I found that she had left shortly after I had. Apparently, there was a scandal about her falling in the family way and her parents had not been very forgiving. Your grandfather apparently disowned her and turned her out. I tracked her down to New York and found about you. Until then I had no idea at all that you existed. You have to believe me. If I had known, I would found both of you."
"So I'm a bastard." JD said venomously. "Is that what you're saying?"
Blackwood blinked, hoping the story rehearsed in his head for this moment would eliminate such thoughts from the young man's mind but he supposed that nothing could have been predicted about the boy's reactions. "No," he shook his head. "You're my son and mine. That's all that ought to matter to you."
"I don't know you." JD answered, his voice a soft whisper as he continued to stare at the floor, unable to bring himself to look at Blackwood when what he saw would only drive another nail of confirmation to what felt wholly unacceptable to him.
"I came a long way to find you," Blackwood responded, having braced himself to encounter hostility and in all truth, nothing so far encounter was beyond his ability to cope with. He expected the boy to have difficulty in accepting the truth. He supposed he would and tried to remain patient by JD's animosity. "I know that it isn't easy to accept that you have a father, not after living your whole life without one but it isn't any easier for me. I never knew that you even existed and finding out twenty years later makes me feel like I've been cheated. I wanted to be in your life but I never got the chance and I'm not saying sorry for how things turned out between your mother and me but you owe it to yourself to give it a chance."
"What do you want from me?" JD asked, again still resistant to the idea even though he could not deny that Blackwood's words had reached some part of him. His mind was still a muddle of confused emotions that he found difficult to process.
"I want to get to know you and I'm sure you want the same." Blackwood answered, surprising himself by the genuine need to have the boy believe him. When he had first come to Four Corners, it had been mostly curiosity that had brought him here and some inner need to see what a child of his might be like. He had never been very paternal and in truth, did not think that much would come out of this meeting. He felt like a man sizing up a potential piece of horseflesh, trying to decide whether the stock was worth the breeding. Blackwood never imagined that he might actually care for the boy.
His memories of his own father were not ones he liked to look upon. He remembered his mother; worn and haggard, tired by all the beatings to stop him when he began on Blackwood. As a child, Blackwood had decided that fathers and sons were an illusion of affection, that their true nature was merely a facsimile created in order to replace the other. There was no immortality, just replication throughout time. However, he did not see JD that way. He saw potential and in those scared and anguished eyes, he saw something that could echo what he was once a long time ago, before life had weighed him down and altered him forever.
Taking a step closer, he noticed JD react for the first time by raising his eyes and the fear in them were so thick, so palpable that the need to make that pain go away surge forth from inside Neil Blackwood. It made him realise that he had come to a frozen moment in time that would change him forever. He wanted his son and he would move heaven and earth to keep him.
"I'm your father." Blackwood said softly. "You may not want to believe that but its true. Your mother took care of you for the first 20 years of your life and although you're a man, I want to watch over you for the next years because I know that is what she would have wanted. If you can't accept me being your father, then at least, accept me as a friend."
"I don't know," JD replied, unable to give him anything more definitive than that. "I have to think about it."
Blackwood had run enough deals in his life to know that was a hopeful answer. JD was confused right now but was not so hostile that his answer had been an irrefutable refusal. Blackwood was optimistic that once the boy had more time to acclimate himself to the situation, he would be receptive to the relationship between them. It was just fear that was driving him now and Blackwood knew when to withdraw when the moment required it.
"That's all I ask." He said with a sigh. "I'll be going now but I'll be back to see you later, if that's alright with you?"
JD nodded mutely, willing to say anything at this moment because right now, he just wanted Blackwood gone.
Buck Wilmington rode into town an hour after JD and Neil Blackwood had been left alone together. Anticipating that JD would need someone to talk to, not to mention look to for support, Chris sent Vin after Buck at his homestead. Although Chris would have been there for JD, he had the impression that he was the wrong person to approach JD at this time. As much as he cared for the younger man, Chris had the impression that JD admired him too much to show Chris Larabee that he was hurt. Chris knew the boy idolised him and so it made it difficult for JD to completely reveal his weaknesses to the one person he wanted to be so much a like, the one person who never seemed to let his inner sorrows show. If only that were true, Chris thought.
Nevertheless Vin had rode out to the Wilmington place and was glad that Josiah and he had foresight enough to prepare Buck for what they had suspected. Now that it had become a reality, it saved a lot of explanation when Vin reached him and intercepted Josiah on the way back from the property. After informing Buck about what Blackwood had done, not to mention the shootout at the bank where JD had been hurt, the tracker kept riding towards Nettie's place, deciding that perhaps JD would need to see Casey after all.
When Buck arrived in town, he did not go straight to Alex's clinic where JD was resting, instead he went to the Standish Tavern and told Inez that they might have to room in town for the evening, leaving Elena Rose with her mother as he went to find JD. He kept thinking about what Josiah had said about Neil Blackwood being JD's father and Buck felt the insistent fear tugging at him about the boy riding out of town with his father never to be seen again. The idea of JD leaving was almost a source of physical pain to Buck. More than a year ago, after a failed bank robbery had seen JD accidentally shooting a bystander and killing her, JD had decided to leave town. The thought of killing an innocent weighed heavily on the young man's mind and only a confrontation with the wanted criminal Achilles had caused him to change it.
Buck had never thought seeing JD get on that stage and leaving could hurt him as much as it did.
He saw JD go and there was not a damn thing he could do about it, not a thing he could say that would make that hurt disappear even though he wanted desperately for it to be gone. He had remembered sitting in the saloon later on, after the stage had rumbled out of town, trying to discern why it ached so much watching the kid go. After all, he was just a kid. A kid with a stupid hat, with more dreams then sense who wanted to be nothing than an equal to the men he considered his friends and admired like they were something special instead of six gunfighters with no real place to belong.
Buck arrived at the clinic and told Alex that Vin had kept going towards Nettie's before he was shown into see JD, who was resting in one of the patient rooms within premises. Although Alex claimed she had set the place up for patients who sustained injuries and should not be moved too far, Buck was certain the doctor's intentions were more for the seven than for anyone else. The plethora of damage they usually suffered whenever they took part in the law enforcement responsibilities to the town ensured the place was equal to the task. It made no difference that some of them were married or on their way to becoming so, when the seven rode out to face danger, they were the same men who had ridden back from the Seminole village.
He found JD lying on his bed staring out the window even though the view beyond offered nothing much but blue sky and a bare plain that stretched into forever it seemed. This part of the country was flat and one could see for miles away before the curve of the world finally made it impossible. JD reacted slightly upon seeing his entry into the room, casting a sidelong glance before he faced front again.
"Hey JD." Buck said gently, uncertain how to proceed even though the effects of Blackwood's news was apparent in his face. Buck decided he would play it by ear and take his cue from JD, if the boy wanted to talk.
"Hi Buck." JD answered quietly.
Buck pulled up a chair and sat next to his bed. JD did not stir or say anything to encourage or discourage him. He just stared. It was the quietest Buck had seen him in a long time as JD had a case of verbal diarrhea at most times. It was unsettling seeing him that way. "How's the leg?" He asked, choosing a safer topic of conversation for the moment. He did not think JD was ready for anything else at the moment.
"Fine." JD answered after a pause. His voice like the rest of him was restrained and sullen. "Alex says I have to be off it for awhile."
"Well Vin told me that you saved Julia's life," Buck continued in his usual good-natured manner, no hint of awareness of JD's situation telling in his voice as he spoke. "You did good, pardner."
"I didn't have much of a choice," the youth responded with a low, weary drawl. "He was going to kill her."
"I suppose you didn't." Buck nodded, realizing now that this was not going to be easy, but then he would have been a fool if he expected it to be any other way. "Look on the bright side, Alex says that we can get you out of here tomorrow, back to your room. You can spend a couple days of your feet with Casey fussing over you."
"I don't need anyone fussing over me." JD retorted his voice unusually hard.
"You've got a bad leg, you ain't got a lot of choice." Buck replied automatically.
"Well isn't that just fine," JD snapped and turned sharply to Buck for the first time. "I don't have a lot of choice in anything. Tell me something I don't know!"
His anger lashed at Buck like something tangible but the big man did not flinch. "You want to talk about it or you want to yell some more?"
JD's tough mask melted. He did not have it in him to be capricious or cruel, even when he was so angry. Instinctively, he started to apologise. "I'm sorry Buck." He said softly and eased back into his bed. "I've got a lot on my mind."
"I guessed," Buck nodded. "I know about Blackwood."
"That ain't exactly a surprise Buck," JD remarked sarcastically, casting a little smile at him at the same time.
"You want to tell me about it?" Buck asked.
JD exhaled loudly and it felt like more than air that he forced from his lungs but perhaps some of that innocence the others had taken such care to protect ever since JD had come into their lives. It was a sobering thing he had learnt about himself to today, a watershed moment in his life that had to be effecting him. "I don't know what to feel Buck."
"Don't go with what you should be feeling and tell me what you actually are." Buck suggested gently.
"I feel lost." JD whispered in a small voice. "I knew something was up when I first met him. Something I couldn't put a finger on, you know?" He looked up at Buck who was listening patiently and it was surprising to JD how good and reassuring that felt to know that in all this turmoil, he wasn't entirely alone inside himself, that Buck was there to.
"He felt familiar which is crazy right? I never ever met the man before but when I looked at him and saw things in him that I saw in me and I thought that I was going crazy because the truth was too much, I couldn't....." his voice faltered a bit and Buck automatically cut in.
"JD, you don't have to talk about this right now." It surprised Buck to realise that he truly meant it. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Its alright," JD paused a moment and composed himself before continuing again. "It explains something about my ma anyway. Whenever she talked about my 'father', she never said much. Just enough to let me believe that he died in the war and that she didn't like talking about it. I figured it was because she loved him so much you know, like Chris was about Sarah and Adam when we first hooked up."
Buck did remember and for a young boy garnering a reaction from a mother regarding his father, Buck also could not blame JD for believing what he had. It seemed a natural assumption he would have made himself. However, now that the truth had surface, Buck could see JD analyzing that behavior and coming up with a perspective that changed the face of what he knew altogether.
"But it wasn't was it?" He looked at Buck, with a pained expression in his eyes and appeared very much the boy that Buck had saw him as sometimes. "She didn't talk about him because he didn't exist, she made up that whole story about the war and his being a lieutenant or something so that I wouldn't feel like a bastard."
"Now you hold on a minute," Buck interjected quickly. "Don't you ever call yourself that. I had no father either and my sainted mother raised me well. She did everything she could to make sure I never felt like that, that I was someone and I am sure your mother did too. She could have rid herself of you and walked away but she didn't, she kept you, raised you and loved you because you were her son, not because you were a bastard. She lied to you but that don't mean she did you wrong."
"I know," JD nodded, feeling guilty for using that word, no matter how true it might be. He could actually picture the mortification on his mother's face had she been aware of what he had just said. "Its just for so long I wanted a father. When I was a kid at that damn school, they'd all make me feel like nothing because I didn't have one. I never told her about the things they said, cause I didn't want to hurt her but I always wished I knew what he was like. I mean it was just my ma and me. There were no grandparents and now hearing what Blackwood," JD could not bring himself to refer to the man any other way just yet, "hearing what Blackwood had said about how I came to be, I understand that too. They threw her out Buck, they found out that she was having a baby and they turned her out. How can they do that? She was just a kid, younger than me, younger than Casey and they just let her go?"
Buck who recalled the reaction of Inez's mother when the lady discovered her daughter to be pregnant and unmarried and knew that it was not uncommon for people to behave that way, no matter how appalling it might seem to them personally. "It's the way things are," Buck found himself replying. "It ain't right but people get an idea into their head about what's proper to everyone else and can't see past that to doing what they should."
"He says that he and ma didn't mean anything to each other, that's why she never told him or tried to find him." JD continued to explain, filling in all the gaps in Buck's knowledge, he was certain the big man wanted to know. "I don't understand that part most of all. I mean why didn't she tell him even if she didn't want to marry him. I know my ma, she wouldn't hide something so important unless there was good reason." He paused a moment as he tried to compose the unsettling thoughts in his head into something manageably articulate. "He says we should get to know each other."
"Sounds like a good idea." Buck said softly, hating to give that piece of advice even though he knew doing so would lead to his worst fears of losing JD to this stranger. "How do you feel about that?"
"Afraid." JD answered without hesitation.
"That's natural." Buck reassured him. "You've had a pretty unexpected door open in front of you. Its okay to feel a little frightened about it."
"I guess," JD agreed but did not sound that convinced. "I've been so used to the idea of not having a father and lately, I haven't felt so bad about it."
JD did not add the reason for that had been Buck's inclusion into his life. When he came to Four Corners and met Buck Wilmington, JD knew what it was like to have a strong paternal influence in his life. Vin, Ezra, Nathan and Josiah were his friends, even Chris although JD felt more like a follower around the gunslinger rather than a comrade in arm but Buck, Buck was different. Buck looked out for him, made it his business to ensure that JD knew everything he knew to survive in the Territory and the unbearable loneliness that had driven JD from the East finally dissipated because Buck and the others filled the void.
"Now he comes out of nowhere and tell me that he's my father and that's he's spent years looking for me as soon as he found out I existed and that he's come a long way to see me. I'm still afraid, Buck."
"You have a right to be," Buck agreed with him on that much but added. "But you also owe it yourself to give this a chance. Now he's come here to find you because he wants to get to know you and maybe that earns him the right to get the chance. It wasn't his fault that your ma didn't tell him about you. Hell, I wouldn't trade what I have with Inez and Rose for anything in the world but if I thought for one moment that a child out there was mine, I would find him and maybe that's what Blackwood feels too. You've got to give him a chance because if you don't, you'll spend your whole life wondering what could have been."
"I suppose if I don't want anything to do with him, I could just walk away couldn't I?" JD mused to himself.
"Yeah," Buck said with a little smile. "You can at that."
JD eased back into his pillow and thought silently on what Buck had said. They did not speak further even though Buck remained there at his side for a time. The former ladies man thought that being close helped JD in some way and was reluctant to leave. He stayed until JD drifted off to sleep and he was able to silently leave without waking the boy. He paused as he was about to walk out of the room, standing over JD's sleeping form for a moment. Brushing a strand of hair out of JD's face, Buck thought that despite how much of a man JD had become these past three years, Buck still saw the boy that had tried so unceremoniously to join their ranks.
Buck supposed he always would and counted himself lucky for that.
Despite orders to the contrary, Nathan Jackson had decided that his shoulder wound was not serious enough to keep him out of the Standish Tavern later that evening. Vin had also returned from Nettie's having told Casey of what had happened, not simply with the bank robber but also with the presence of Neil Blackwood in town and who he was to JD. The last the tracker saw of the young lady, she had been preparing to ride into town, with plans to stay over at his home for the night. This was not an unusual occurrence, for Casey and Alex were close and Nettie preferred to have her niece chaperoned by someone she considered respectable. Ezra had finally left Julia and had joined the others at their usual table. In truth, they were still reeling from the news of Neil Blackwood's relationship with JD.
"Well," Ezra sighed as the gambler nursed his drink and eased back into his chair. "One wonders if the day can get any more eventful."
"It had been that kind of day." Josiah agreed, unhappy that he had been absent during most of the proceedings. It was bad enough that there had been blood spilled in the streets and some of that had been JD's and Nathan's but the fact that Kitson had escaped in the process, made it somewhat irrefutable that the occurrence could not have been a coincidence.
"Me getting shot was the least of it." Nathan retorted.
"I want to know how long it is you two have known," Chris turned to Vin with a little irritation, though not enough to make the tracker believe that the gunslinger was mad, simply annoyed.
"Only since this morning." Josiah confessed before Vin could answer. "The boy came to see me and he was a little unsettled."
"I noticed that," Ezra agreed. "Although at the time I had other considerations in mind."
"I'll bet." Chris remarked unable to keep the snigger out of his voice and precipitating laughter from everyone else in the process.
"Thank you Mr Larabee." Ezra gave him a look to which Chris replied, tipping his hat with a little smirk on his face as he stared at the gambler's direction.
"Anytime Ezra."
"I take it Julia has decided to forgive you for your little indiscretion with the lovely but persistent Miss Belladonna?" Josiah inquired as he took the head of his mug of beer.
"There was no indiscretion," the gambler said sourly. "The lady and I need to have a talk about our relationship, such as it is."
"Well just to be safe," Nathan grinned, always enjoying the past time of shaking that cool demeanor Ezra wore around himself. "Maybe I better go with you when you do that, just in case you decide to get tempted."
"Are you suggesting that I require a babysitter when I am in the company of Diana?" He glared at Nathan with a hint of outrage.
"Oh its Diana is it?" Nathan mused, rolling his eyes and drawing more laughter from the others. "I thought it was the gentleman's way to refer to a lady as Miss, not her first name. Sounds mighty personal to me."
"I'll shoot you." Ezra warned.
"Too late," Nathan quipped back. "Done that once already today."
"When it comes to the women," Vin added, "Ezra, you just get yourself in some interesting tangles. Wasn't it you that got flattened on the street a day ago, not to mention being bawled out by Alex when she found about you and Julia. Face it pard, your love life is pretty entertaining."
"I'm glad you think so," Ezra retorted with a frown when suddenly his attention, like the others rested on Buck Wilmington who had entered the premises. It brought back to memory the other event that had taken place today, other than Kitson's escape from their jail and the bank robbery that more than likely had been instigated to draw their attention from it. Buck did not appear very much in a good mood and the somber atmosphere he brought with him soon insinuated itself at their table.
"How is he?" Chris asked before Buck could sit down.
The big man did not answer, glancing in the direction of the bar, where Inez's replacement for the evening, one of the barmaids she had hired to relieve herself and Rain was tending the customers. He only had to nod for the lady to know what he wanted to drink before settling into the chair that Vin had pulled from one of the unoccupied tables.
"He's trying to deal with it," Buck admitted quickly, aware of the concern felt for JD by everyone at the table. "He's scared and confused but he's generally okay."
"Hell of a thing to find out," Nathan said to no one in particular.
"No kidding," Vin agreed completely. "When me and Josiah saw Blackwood, we hoped we were wrong but you can see the resemblance. It's mostly in the eyes but there ain't no doubt that they're kin."
"What did Blackwood have to say to him?" Chris inquired, still refusing to believe that it could be entirely true. He was too much a skeptic to believe everything was a clear cut as it seemed. "Especially about where he'd been for the last twenty years?"
"According to JD, his ma and Blackwood had a relationship and went their separate ways. Apparently they'd met, got together and knew it was a mistake and that was all there was to it. Then she got pregnant, her folks reacted in exactly the way god fearing Christian folk would behave and disowned her. She must have gone to the city and had him there, telling people that JD's pa died in the war. The timing was right and so many boys were getting killed back then no one would have questioned it. Blackwood had no idea about JD until he went back to the town she was from and asked after her."
"Upon which he discovered the disgrace the late Mrs Dunne must have suffered with her 'condition' and come to the conclusion that he must have been responsible." Ezra guessed.
"More or less," Buck shrugged. "He's spent some time looking for JD and finally tracked him down here."
"At least we know that he cares enough about the kid to come looking." Nathan offered.
"Yeah," Josiah nodded. "But I tell you brothers, the man gives me a bad feeling."
"I know what you mean," Vin nodded in agreement. "There's something about him. Chris, I hope you don't mind pard but I asked Mary to check up on him."
Chris turned to Vin, aware that the tracker must have had more than a 'bad feeling' for him to embark upon that course of action. Chris had ridden alongside Vin long enough to take his perceptions very seriously and now wished to know what it was that Vin felt so strongly about to approach his wife. However, Buck beat him to that question.
"What you getting from him Vin?" Buck asked.
"I don't know," Vin shrugged, unable to put into words what it took a lifetime of instinct for him to simply know without question. "I've tracked a lot of men after I gave up buffalo hunting and I guess I got a sense of when one was going to be more trouble than he looked and I'm telling you Blackwood's giving me that sense. We know nothing about him except that he's JD's pa. Now, those of us who have met me can see JD in him which makes that part of his story true but everything else, like how he met JD's ma is a mystery. Sure we got the story he told JD but how do we know that's true?"
"He's got a point," Chris agreed. "We only have his word for it."
"You know JD said something back there that I've been thinking about." Buck mentioned. "Now JD told me his mother was young when she died. She'd been working so hard that getting sick with Influenza took her much too early but her age makes it so that she couldn't have been no more than 16 when she had him."
"Sixteen?" Ezra exclaimed. "She would have been a child herself."
"Yeah," Josiah saw what Buck was getting. "He would have been a lot older than her."
"That's right," Buck nodded. "Not many sixteen years old would lay with an older man, not one whose parents were that strict they'd throw her out of the house when they found out she was in the family way."
"Its unusual Buck," Chris pointed out. "But it's not impossible."
"I know," Buck had to concede that point but there was more to it than just that. "But she got thrown out and if they were as friendly as he said they were, why wouldn't she tell him? I mean think about it, you're sixteen years old, you're pregnant, no money, no family that would help you. Even if she didn't want him to marry her, I can't understand why she wouldn't at least tell him about it."
"That is strange," Nathan agreed.
"I mean I've known sixteen year olds," Buck continued and with his wide knowledge of women in general, they believed him. "When they're in that situation and alone, they're scared as hell and I find it kind of incredible that she would not have tried to contact him on some level."
"Unless, she could not." Ezra stated. "Some men do not stay in a place for very long, she may not have known him well enough to find him."
"That's possible," Buck replied but was not entirely convinced. "I wonder if she wasn't hiding from him."
"Hiding from him?" Nathan asked, not liking where this was going. Not one bit.
"From whatever bad feeling Vin's got about him." Chris guessed. "The truth is, we can't verify his story at all even if we didn't suspect it to be true."
"I know," Buck grumbled, taking a deep sip of the beer he had been served. "I still think we ought to try. I'm gonna have a little talk with Blackwood, maybe get a little more detail out of him." Buck put down his glass on the table and pushed himself off his chair to go do just that.
"Buck," Chris declared, suddenly aware of the kind of emotions were running through Buck at this moment. When it came to JD, Buck had the protective instincts of grizzly bear and heaven help the soul he even suspected of bringing harm to the young man. "I think you better just sit down for the moment. You're running on fire and spit and all you're gonna do is piss someone off. Besides, we got to remember that Kitson and his men are out there on the loose and as much as we like to involve ourselves in this, we got to be careful."
"What do you mean?" Buck exclaimed, astonished that Chris could be telling him to back off. "After what I just told you?"
"Buck," Josiah spoke up, always better at playing the voice of reason than anyone else. "All we have is suspicion. Now Vin's done the right thing, he's got Mary to make a couple of inquiries, now maybe we can extend that to find out where JD's mother came from originally and perhaps try to get our own answers but we can't interfere in this at the moment. JD is his son and if Blackwood wants to make amends however, stilted his stories may be, we have to let nature take its course or else."
"Or else what?" Buck snapped.
"Or else it may be JD himself who tells us to stay out of it."
"He's terrified of accepting this!" Buck retaliated. "He wouldn't do that!"
"Now, he's terrified." Josiah continued, not about to let out. "But there will come a point and we all know that it will when he might want to know his father and if you take that chance away from him, he'll hate you for it."
Buck did not know what to say and in all truth, there was very little he could because inwardly, deep down inside, past all his own insecurities and fears for JD's heart being broken, he knew that Josiah was right.
"He's not a kid any more Buck," Josiah said softly. "He's become a man right in front of our eyes and if we have to trust him to make his own decisions. Stay away from Blackwood, let them sort this out. We'll find out what we can about him and if we have cause to, we'll tell JD but not until then. Don't make things any more harder for JD then it already is."
"I wouldn't do that," Buck whispered softly, staring at all the faces around him.
"Then don't make him choose between you and his father, not unless he really has to."
Buck conceded defeat, not knowing what else to do. He prayed that Josiah was right, that it would not come to that but somehow, he had a feeling it already had the moment Neil Blackwood had arrived in Four Corners.