Disclaimer: All the characters from the "Magnificent Seven" T.V. series are property of Trilogy Entertainment, The Mirisch Group, MGM Worldwide.
After three years of being his wife, Maude had finally become accustomed to the life though as the wife of Marshall Peter Reeves, she was allowed much latitude in her behavior. Peter himself was content to have her the way she was, unconventional to the core even if his sense of justice would not tolerate the shell game no matter how much he loved her. However, he did not seem to mind when she occupied her time managing the local saloon, aware that she was more than able to look after herself in such places and she needed something to do during those times when he was out in the trail. Peter was aware that she was a social creature and would not consider attempting to pin her down when the thing he loved most about her was her sense of freedom and independence.
Of course things had to change a little by the time Ezra was born. He arrived on a balmy night, an easy delivery that soon turned into anxiety when the child failed to cry out after the obligatory slap on the behind. Eventually, he was coaxed into offering a whimper, much to the relief of his parents and a slight frown that indicated that he was not all pleased to be inconvenienced in such a manner. His features were mostly Maude but Peter was there too, in the shape of his face, the dimpled smile and the refusal to be beaten on anything. Maude was especially pleased about that. It would lend well to his skills when she finally taught him how to play poker. Until she met Peter, Maude had never considered being a mother and she certainly did not think she would be any good at it. Perhaps in the final analysis, it would be decided that she was not but in those first few years she had made a valiant, determined to conquer this like she had conquered everything in her life.
She never believed that there could be fulfillment in being a wife and mother but there was. However, she was not bound by the precept of what either of those two roles was supposed to be, rather fashioning it into what she thought it should be for her own sake. The end result was the discovery that women who became wives and mothers without losing themselves were the ones who were truly blessed and the husband who supported them in all things, were equally fortunate. With her world seemingly complete, Maude did not think it could ever end. Perhaps the happiness of the past three years had lulled her into a false sense of security. Peter Reeves was filled with high minded ideals and a sense of compassion that was lacking in most and being around him made it easy to forget that most people were very different indeed.
After three years of marriage, Maude knew when Peter was troubled even though he returned home that night, appearing as if all was well. She had made it a habit of reading people and this had not changed, especially when it came to her own husband. She watched him playing their favorite game where Ezra would pretend to be an acrobat using his father's arms as a trapeze. Peter adored his son and it was rather an amazing transformation from hardened lawman to loving father but somehow, Peter never seemed to have trouble being either one of the two. On this occasion, he seemed tenser than ever even though his outward facade was one of complete composure. Maude said nothing, refusing to show her concern in front of Ezra and it was their rule to discuss such things when their child had been put to bed. Even though Maude was certain that Ezra would not understand a word of what they were saying, it was better to be safe and sorry.
"Its nothing," he had said.
"You are clearly bothered Marshall," Maude stared at him as they lay in bed, face to face under cool sheets as they spoke in soft tones that would often lead to a more heated exchange. Outside the rain came down in loud buckets, with intermittent rips of thunder cracking the air. Despite the rain, the temperature was hot and humid, making their skins glisten with moisture.
"Just some trouble I see brewing up." Peter replied, running his hand along her curved form, concealed beneath the thin sheet. "It's not bad yet but it could get that way."
"Tell me." Maude persisted, knowing that it did bother him and his reluctance to say more was only further evidence of how bad the situation was.
"There's a war coming." Peter had said simpler.
"Oh some day it will happen," Maude shrugged, assuming he meant the growing division between north and south. The animosity that was growing between the two sometimes made it feel that the only way to establish any real unity was to allow the country to rip itself apart first. Maude hoped it would not happen in her lifetime. "The differences between North and South are growing deeper as the time goes by."
Peter looked at her. "I didn't meant that."
Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Who then did you mean."
"Land owners and the new settlers." Peter sighed. "More and more people are coming into the Territory, Maude. They come here chasing dreams and they're willing to do anything to see it happens for them. Unfortunately, those who were already here are just as determined to protect their own interests. They don't want to see grazing land for cattle become homesteads and they have the money to see that it happens. Out here, the law is just the man behind the badge and a man can be killed."
Maude tensed, not at all liking to think of that possibility. One of the things that preyed most upon her mind, even more so since Ezra was born, was the fact that as lawman, his existence was poised on a knife's edge. Even though they did not always notice it, death loomed in the background and they knew it was there. The idea of losing him frightened her, not because she would be alone with his son but she could not imagine her existence without him. Maude did not fall in love easily but once it happened, she was a slave to her heart and the fear of losing what gave her life meaning in a way she had never dreamed, was utterly terrifying.
"Don't say that." Maude responded. "I don't want to even think of that."
"It could happen Maude," Peter pointed out, having no wish to lie to her. "You have to understand that it can and know what to do if it does."
Maude met his eyes and responded by moving towards him and capturing his mouth in a lingering kiss. For a few seconds, she felt his tongue probing past her teeth, his hands touching her body and feeling his heat against her skin, thinking that if he was taken away from her, she would die from the sheer anguish of missing all this.
"Don't ask me to do that Marshall," she whispered, using her nickname for him to make her feel that things were not at all serious but rather still in the realms of discussion, not some reality that might make itself felt soon enough. "Don't ask me to go on without you."
"I'm not," he said seriously. "But I want you to promise me that if anything happens to, you'll take Ez and disappear. I've made enough enemies being a lawman to know that they might not be satisfied with just killing me. I don't mind dying Maude but I do mind it if they hurt you or my son. If I'm gone, you have to protect him. I trust you better to do that, than any man alive."
"You know I will," she said quietly. "You know I'd never let anyone hurt my darling boy."
"Thank you Maude," he answered relieved. "If anything happens to me, you will be all he has."
"I promise you Peter," Maude nodded. "I'll walk through hell before I let anyone hurt him."
"Mommy." A small voice came from the edge of the bed and both mother and father looked up to see Ezra staring at them, clutching a blue blanket that had been with him since birth.
"Hey big man," Peter sat up first, grateful that the boy's arrival had put an end to their discussion. "What's the matter?"
He did not answer but explained himeslf by scrambling onto the mattress with the clap of thunder that followed that question. He burrowed under the sheets and soon found himself nuzzling comfortably between his parents. "Scared daddy."
"Its just thunder," Peter smiled giving Maude an apologetic look for making her so frightened earlier on, even if it was necessary. "Its just nature letting you know who is the boss, that's all."
"That's right my darling," Maude ran her hand over her son's velvet cheek, knowing that the sensation would chase away the demons in the night that only children ever seemed to see. "It can't hurt you."
Ezra did not look so certain until Peter leaned close to his ear and answered. "I tell you what, why don't you sleep with you ma and me tonight and we'll make sure nothing harms you."
Ezra beamed at that suggestion and nuzzled closer to his mother who took him into her warm embrace and held him there while his father had changed positions so that he could do the same to Maude, keeping them both safe.
Although Ezra had protested, there was no argument he could use that prevented Maude Standish from being taken to the jailhouse after she had shot Benjamin Bosshard. Chris could not blame Ezra for that because he would have preferred to talk to Maude about what she had done in less imposing surroundings. Unfortunately, shooting Bosshard as she had, in front of the entire town, when the man had done nothing to her, demanded such decisive action or else the seven would be accused of showing favour with an attempted murderess because she was family. Thus Chris had no choice but to adhere to the demands that she be placed under arrest because of her actions towards Mr Bosshard, who so far appeared to be a law-abiding citizen. Maude however, did not seem at all conscious of what she had done and was led away from the hotel without any protest, unlike her rather agitated son who was in a state of shock.
The incredulity generated by Maude's act of violence seemed to diminish once she was inside the jailhouse. Chris did not think Ezra would stand for it if she were placed in a cell and was not about to find out for sure so for the moment, he instructed Maude to sit down in the main room of the building and explain herself. After her assault, the lady had become strangely quiet, which was very out of character because Maude always had something to say, eve if it was worth the hearing. With the exception of Buck, more or less all of the seven were present for the interview, mostly because as annoying as Maude could be, she was in some ways family.
"Maude," Josiah took the lead since he was closest to her other than Ezra who was still dazed from the entire incident. "Why did you shoot him?"
The others were seated in various places across the room, their attention singularly focussed on the woman before them. Vin had taken point at the door, keeping an eye out in case Bosshard's men decided to avenge his assault by Maude in kind. Chris remain behind the desk, watching the woman closely in that inscrutable way he did everyone he came across. JD seemed more confused than anything else. His opinion of Maude was not exactly high but he did not think her capable of murder until now. Nathan's attention was more focussed on Ezra, wondering how this was effecting the southerner. Ezra seemed deep in thought and following the incident, reacting enough to send Julia home and to ensure that no one else got close enough to his mother to do her any more harm than she had done to herself.
"He had it coming." She hissed. Her blue eyes ablaze with cold fire.
"Why?" Josiah asked again, aware that there was an old hurt buried under all that rage and wondered what could have made Maude angry enough to take such direct action. Her idea of torture was a slow offering, not this violence.
"You said he killed my father." Ezra blurted out and crossed the space between them. He leaned over and stared into her eyes. "What did you mean?"
The others simply stared in shock because Ezra had not told them that part yet. He wanted Maude to tell him face to face when they were behind close doors, not in front of the entire town.
"Ezra are you serious?" JD asked in shock.
"That's what she told me," Ezra nodded looking at him mother. "She said that Bosshard murdered my father."
"He did murder your father." Maude raised her eyes to punctuate her point. "I saw him do it. He shot your father in cold blood and if I hadn't taken you and run, he would have killed us both just out of spite." The venom in her voice as she spoke those words surprised those who bore witness to it.
"Why ma'am?" Nathan asked, wondering what Ezra's father could have done to earn such hatred from an enemy. "Why did he hate Ezra's pa that much?"
Maude expression changed at that moment as if she had been inadvertently led to some place she did not wish to go. The anger in her eyes gave way to confusion and uncertainty which no one in the room missed following its display. "Because Peter wasn't afraid of him or his friends. They could buy the others off but they could never buy him. In fact, all the bribery seemed to do was make Peter angrier, more determined to see them fail. He was stubborn that way! He never knew when to walk away! Even for his own good!"
Ezra was becoming more and more bewildered by what she was saying. "Mother, what exactly did they wish him to do?"
"They wanted him to look the other way, to ignore what was happening." Maude responded, offering some snippet of information but not enough. "He would not. He was too responsible for that."
"I do not understand," Ezra shook his head. "Look away? Why would a riverboat gambler be paid to look away?"
"Because he wasn't one, was he Maude?" Chris Larabee was staring at her, the truth having unfolded before him because he was impartial and observant of people and lies. He understood what Maude could not say, the truth behind Ezra's father which the gambler himself had never known or suspected for that matter. It made sense great many things, Ezra's childhood of being shunted from place to place, not because his mother was trying to forget he existed but rather to hide him from those who might harm him and why she abhorred so much Ezra's role in Four Corners. When one understood the truth, the pieces of the puzzle fell into place without difficulty.
"What?" Ezra turned to Chris, wondering what the gunslinger saw in his mother's words that he did not. "What are you talking about?"
"Your father," Chris said simply before regarding Maude once more. "He was a lawman wasn't he?"
Ezra's expression was one of stupefied shock. "What?" He gasped and glared at Maude in accusation. "Mother?"
Maude could not look at him, she did not have the courage. All these years she had kept the secret thinking she had done Ezra a service by not telling him the truth but at this moment, she realised that her motivations had been selfish. She had not wanted to tell him of his father because she feared he might end up the same way and Maude could not bear that at all. She had lost Peter that way and she could not imagine losing Ezra to the same fate as well. However, Ezra had still become what his father had been before him, even without knowing, as if destiny would not let him escape no matter how hard Maude tried to protect him. When she first learnt what he was doing in Four Corners, she almost collapsed from the shock and yet she knew of no way to tell him the truth without Ezra believing she had lied to him all these years.
"I'm sorry Ezra," she swallowed, her gazed fixed firmly on the floorboards before her. "I never wanted to lie to you but it was necessary. I had to protect us."
"Tell me!" He demanded so sharply that the sound made them all jump by its intensity.
Maude was effected most by it and she raised her eyes to his with great reluctance. "Chris is right." She confessed, the words coming out of her slowly and painfully. "Your father was a lawman, a US Marshall as a matter of fact. We were married three years before that man out there murdered him."
Ezra did not know what to say. His mind felt numb with shock and as he stared at his mother, so many things throughout his life that had seemed odd even cruel some times, fell into place now that he knew the truth. The furtive glances sent his way by family members who begrudgingly took him in after Maude had placed him in their care, their detachment and their dislike all made sense to him. All his life he had thought it was because they felt him to be inferior but perhaps it had been because they were afraid of the danger his presence might bring to them. His childhood had been partly to blame for his being the person he was, always feeling the outcast and having to fight for every inch of belonging to whatever group he found himself. It had been no different becoming a part of the seven even though the outcome was very different from all those other attempts.
"You lied to me." Ezra stared at Maude in accusation. "You said he was a riverboat gambler. You said he died accidentally. Was his name even Standish?"
Maude dropped her gaze again.
"That was not even his name?" Ezra gasped in horror.
"No," Maude shook her head; tears glistened in her eyes as she spoke each word tainted with remorse. "His name was Peter Reeves. He was a good man who believed in justice and doing what was right. I loved him more than I have loved any man and the time that I was wife to him, was the best in my whole life. When he died, the better part of me died with him but he made me promised to keep you safe and I was going to do that even if it meant hiding from you the truth about being his son. It was the hardest decision I had to make but I could not let them harm you as they did him."
"That may have been true in the beginning," Ezra stared at her, not about to deny that if protecting him was what had motivated her lies in the early years of his life, then it was justified. However, that did not excuse her for continuing the ruse for so much longer than that. "But there was no reason to keep the truth from me over such an extended period of time. You may have been protecting me but there was a time when I became old enough to be able to make that choice for myself. You should have told me."
"Ezra," Maude tried to explain herself, her anguish choking the life out of her as she tried to make him see that she had done what she had for the best of intentions. "I'm sorry. I thought if I told you, you'd try and take revenge on those men and they would kill you! I was just trying to protect you!"
"Protect me!" Ezra growled." How could you possibly think that this would benefit me? All my life I thought I could not be any better than I was because of where I came from. Now you tell me that my father was a Marshall who died for something good and worthy but was not quite important enough for me to know about? How could you think that to be a kindness and what do you think has changed now that you've tried to shoot Bosshard?"
"I wasn't thinking!" She exclaimed. "When I saw him after all these years, I just wanted him dead!"
"Ezra take it easy," Josiah spoke up in the lady's defense, capable of seeing that she was clearly distressed by all this.
"This is not your concern." Ezra said coldly.
"Ezra, can't you see she's torn up enough about this?" Josiah ignored the sharp retort.
"Josiah," Chris warned, able to see the storm brewing on the gambler's face despite the man's best effort to keep his rage in check. "Don't."
However, Josiah was just as obtuse as Ezra was on this point. "Ezra, Maude was not doing this to hurt you."
"Josiah," Ezra took a deep breath and glared at the preacher. I know you mean well but this is something I need to discuss with my mother alone."
"Ezra's right, let's give him a little space," Chris took the gambler's cue and spoke up to give mother and son the privacy they deserved.
The situation as it stood was difficult enough for both Maude and Ezra alike without having an audience to witness their troubles. Chris knew that Josiah wanted to help and still felt guilty about how he had reacted when Ezra had been raped. Josiah had rebuked himself for not being able to see that their friend was hurt and the result of his earlier lapse forced the preacher to be especially vigilant when it came to Ezra's welfare. Unfortunately, this was one moment when Ezra did not need assistance but rather distance. Obviously in light of Maude's startling revelations, which to tell the truth would have floored Chris himself had he been in Ezra's situation, Ezra was probably trying to come to grips with the reality of his beginnings. Where a man came from had a big impact upon his life. Chris himself knew that much of who he was had a great deal to do with the General. He wondered how it would effect Ezra now that the gambler had discovered his father was a marshal and a pretty good one by the sounds of it.
"Thank you Mr. Larabee," Ezra glanced gratefully in Chris' direction as the rest of his friend decided that for the moment they would best serve him if they were elsewhere.
JD regarded him sympathetically, more than aware of how damning secrets about one's lineage could be. He himself had come face to face with that realization in recent months and while Ezra's father was nothing like the monster that Neil Blackwood was, JD could not deny it was nonetheless a shock. Buck Wilmington made no reaction at all, simply because it was the proper thing to do. Ezra and Maude needed to deal with this, without having bystanders watching their actions in discussing what was clearly a very personal issue. Vin Tanner was also eager to leave however, his reasons had more to do with the fact that he believed they had no business being an audience when what Ezra needed so much was privacy. In that he and Ezra shared a common trait; they liked keeping counsel to themselves. Even though Ezra often verbalized his opinions to everyone in hearing distance, what the gambler felt deep down inside was something he allowed no one to see. With the exception of Chris, Vin was probably the only one who could understand it.
Josiah was naturally reluctant to leave. The older man wished to remain, in only to mediate. The storm brewing on Ezra's face indicated that the gambler was angry and justifiably so, however, Maude obviously had good reasons for what she had done. She would not feel the remorse she did if such was not the case. However, there was something in her eyes when she had spoken of her dead husband, something that looked as if her heart broke each time she thought of the man, a deep burning love that had not died despite the time and separation of mortality. He wanted to protect her from Ezra's wrath because she was a woman who rarely showed vulnerabilities and at this moment, she was a wound open and raw. However, the choice was not his to stay and with the others moving out of the room, he realised he could not.
Nathan was the last to leave, even when the others were in the process of shuffling out of the room. The tall black healer stood his ground, his dark eyes meeting Ezra's in an affirmation of friendship. Inwardly, Nathan was cursing. Ezra did not need this burden right now. Hannibal Julius left many wounds inside him after the attack upon him, wounds that were still far from healing. Ezra needed to overcome those injuries to his psyche before encountering fresh pains. Nathan felt angry at Maude for doing this to his friend at this critical juncture. Sometimes, he wished his ability to heal was not limited to flesh alone.
"Ezra," Nathan met his gaze. "Are you gonna be okay?"
Ezra knew what he was asking. For the last two months, Nathan had been the one person he could speak to about anything. While Josiah had tried to help, Nathan was more inclined to listen which was what Ezra needed the most. He allowed Ezra to prattle on, not saying a word because he knew that talking about it was the best thing for Ezra rather than being inundated by well-intentioned advice. Ezra did not say much about the attack itself but rather spoke about his nightmares and his inability to think of marriage at this point, without going too much into detail because that was just Ezra and it was all right by Nathan.
Ezra returned Nathan's gaze, touched by the effort and nodded slowly. "Not entirely but one thing at a time."
"You know where I'll be if you need me." Nathan offered.
"I think I shall take you up on that offer, Mr. Jackson," Ezra retorted, glancing briefly at Maude to indicate that his feelings of betrayal still remained.
She did not look back.
While Ezra Standish was dealing with his mother, Benjamin Bosshard and his companions were tending to the wound he had incurred at the lady's hand. Fortunately, the injury was superficial and the local healer's offer to assist was not required as Bosshard had not intention of letting a black man treat him. He had been in enough gunfights in his life to know how to treat minor wounds although he had to confess that this was the first time he had been gunned down by a woman in a hotel saloon. Within the confines of his hotel room, Bosshard tried not to flinch as one of his associates, Spencer examined the injury closely. The bullet had passed through his body and resulting in damage that was mostly limited to musculature.
"So do you have any idea who she was Ben?" Spencer asked as he dabbed the ruined flesh with a warm cloth, following the extraction of the bullet. Fortunately, the bullet from the derringer had not caused as much damage since Maude had not been close enough when she fired the gun and the weapon's range was so limited. Still, it was enough to make his employer extremely grateful that the lady had not been that good a shot.
"She thinks I killed her husband." Bosshard, ran a finger over his moustache as he pondered the question. "Unfortunately, that does not narrow it down. I've killed a lot of husbands in my time."
"What's to stop her from doing it again?" Mark inquired. "She seemed pretty mad at you Ben."
"I considered that." Bosshard nodded. "Tomorrow, I want you to find out everything you can about her."
"What about our plans here?" Spencer looked up at him.
"This changes nothing," Bosshard said sharply. "We're losing ground thanks to our new governor and if we don't do something fast, everything we know and the people we represent will not survive. I don't intend to see things change in the Territory. I'm prepared to do everything to make sure it stays the same. Four Corners is a gold mine waiting exploitation. Unfortunately, we have little time to act. With more and more settlers coming in and buying land, setting up homesteads, the place is ripe to make a lot of money."
"What about the law in this town?" Spencer inquired. "Larabee's keeping a close eye on us and that Potter woman doesn't look like she's going to give into us easily. I'm guessing that she's gonna be trouble."
Bosshard tended to agree with the man's assessment of Gloria Potter. The lady was still too proud to be subjected to coercion. These frontier types often were. Women in this part of the world tended to get tough very quickly. The nature of their existence made it essential. Unfortunately, all this tenacity accomplished was unnecessary complications in Bosshard's plans. However, he had encountered much tougher opponents in his time and he had always won the day. Gloria Potter would be no different.
"I think you're right about the woman," Bosshard nodded. "Let's give her a day to consider our offer. In the meantime, move onto the hardware store and the Emporium."
"The Emporium?" Spencer looked at him uncertainly. "Isn't that Pemberton woman the fiancée of one of those lawmen?"
"Yes," Bosshard answered having thought out the situation. "However, I've been doing some digging about Miss Pemberton and I think I know just the thing to make her sell."
"Like what?" Marks inquired.
"Well it appears the woman has no history prior to arriving in Four Corners," Bosshard said with a smile, pleased that he had invested a little revenue towards investigating the Emporium owner prior to his arrival in Four Corners. When he had first turned an eye towards Four Corners, Bosshard had pinpointed the businesses he was interested in buying. At present, it seemed like the Emporium was the most lucrative of these purchases. However, the same methods that were employed upon the other owners could not be used in the case of Julia Pemberton. Her association with the seven men who acted as the town's peacekeepers meant that Bosshard had to be slightly more creative in dealing with the titian haired beauty. "She came to town with a great deal of money and set up the Emporium, falling into a relationship with the gambler that runs with Larabee."
"That crazy woman's son," Marks pointed out.
"That's the one." Bosshard nodded, recalling the dapper southerner who had swept his would be killer away after her assault. "Apparently some months ago, a Pinkerton detective came searching for a Julia Avery."
"That our girl?" Spencer looked up at him as he unrolled a strip of cloth that acted as a bandage for the cleaned wound.
"Julia Avery," Bosshard seemed to smile despite the sliver of pain he felt as Spencer began wrapping up his wound. "Daughter of Donald Avery, a real estate tycoon. Seems the man is rich and she's his only daughter. According to the detective that our people talked to, Clemens was his name, the lady took off with a good deal of her daddy's money and set up shop in town. When Clemens came looking for her, she made sure he didn't tell daddy where he could find her. The only reason we manage to get Clemens to talk was by breaking a couple of bones."
"Very nice," Marks grinned, having seen the lovely Ms Pemberton in the flesh during his stay in Four Corners. "If she don't sell us the Emporium, maybe we can sell her to the old man."
"Exactly," Bosshard smiled even wider. "Although it would be a pity if she were to be difficult. The lady is a very tasty morsel indeed."
Spencer and Marks knew that their employer's interest in Miss Pemberton was anything but passing in that regard and considering who the lady called her paramour, it was potentially dangerous for Bosshard to be entertaining the notion of anything more than a business arrangement. Bosshard had a tendency to get very obsessed about the women that caught his interest and there was more than one occasion when they were forced to discard the dead remains of those who were no longer the flavor of the month. For the sake of their plans in Four Corners, he hoped the same enchantment had not fallen over Bosshard in the case of Julia Pemberton.
"What about Larabee?" Marks spoke up, reminding Bosshard that they had other concerns in Four Corners, beyond Julia Pemberton. Chris Larabee's reputation was known before the gunslinger had become a member of the Magnificent Seven and the man's prowess with a colt was not to be underestimated as should any of the men who rode with him. For the four years since they had been in Four Corners, the seven had ensured the peace, which suggested that Larabee and his men were a force to be reckoned with.
Bringing up Chris' name caused a scowl to form over Bosshard's eyes and he stared at them with a dark expression on his face. "Larabee can't stop us from carrying out our business in town and when we get what we want, it will be too late. However, the key to keeping him in line is family. I've dealt with men like Larabee who think that they're above being threatened just because they're on the side of law and order. You tell Larabee that you'll hunt down his wife and children and he'll do something stupid just to stop you, I guarantee it."
Bosshard remembered the numerous times he had put that plan into practice and could attest to its success. "When he does," Bosshard gazed at both Spencer and Marks with a menacing smile, "we'll make sure we're there to see that he regrets it."
Ezra paced the floor of the jailhouse.
He did that because he was so angry he could not speak and if he did so by saying whatever was on his mind at this time, he just knew that he was going to say something he would regret. He tried to think about everything he had known about his father, which was to say, not much and tried to draw upon his own memories of the man, the ones that were independent of Maude's description of him. The images were vague and distant. His memories were composed mostly of emotions coupled with trace images he was more capable of feeling then he was of actually visualizing in his head. He knew his father had loved him because there were memories of embraces, smiles and the comfort of strong arms holding him and telling him that he was loved. There was still a part of Ezra that longed to know more about that voice but years of experience and the natural detachment of age had made him brush it aside as just one more of those unnecessary trappings of childhood.
When he was old enough to ask, he had inquired of Maude who his father had been. She had been vague and gave him mere fragments that he was soon to learn would be the most he would ever gain from her regarding this particular subject. Later on, he conceded that it had to do with the fact that Maude still pined for her dead husband and the more Ezra became aware of her as a person, realised that his father would always be the only man, to ever be the love of Maude Standish's life. With that in mind, Ezra let the subject alone, being content to wrap himself in the comfort that he was not a mistake his mother had to live with but rather, the product of two people who had been very much in love. He did not question it because there was a time when be believed exactly that, that he was a mistake begotten of his mother who was shunted to so many relatives because that was all she could think to do with him. Even now whenever she angered him, he often reverted to that inclination.
However, he could no longer do that any more because what he knew about his past amounted to a lie and he was certain of nothing about himself, not even where he came from.
"Ezra," Maude finally spoke, unable to bear no more the silence that had followed the departure of the others from the room. She wished Ezra would say something but so far, her son had not deigned to make his feelings known. "Please say something."
Ezra paused in his steps and looked up at her. "What do you wish me to say exactly mother?" He stared at her with cold eyes, burning with anger and betrayal.
"Anything," she said trying not to weep or to show her fear at what he would say now that he knew the truth. She had known for so long that this day would come even though she dreaded it. "I need to know what is on your mind."
"What is on my mind?" He turned on her as if something inside had burst free with that statement. "What do you think mother? You have told me next to nothing about my father and what I knew I became accustomed to because I thought you were in pain over his loss and could not speak of him. I spared you my questions because I could see that it hurt you to talk about him but I never imagined for a moment that you could be lying to me! You have used me in your cons. You raised me from childhood to become this version of your own desires and you have even sought to give me some rather painful lessons in humiliation when you thought that I was not living up to your expectations of what I should be! However until now, I never thought you capable of lying to me about something as important as this!"
"I did it to protect you!" She stood up and came to him.
Ezra stepped back and glared at her, stopping her advance by the anger in his eyes. "Tell me," he said barely able to control himself from screaming. "How lying to me about my father, was protecting me."
"Bosshard would have killed us both if he knew where to find us!" Maude started to explain never feeling more in need of eloquence and yet lacking it then at this point. "He was a vindictive man who was reputed to hunt down the families of his enemies just out of spite, even though there was no longer any reason for it. He hated your father because your father could not be bought and when Bosshard came after him, he promised that he would not stop until we were dead with him."
"That is not good enough," Ezra replied. "That explains why my father died but not why you maintained the deception. If you have told me that I would have been just as cautious as you."
"No!" Maude snapped. "You would not have been cautious! You would have insisted on taking your revenge upon him and getting yourself killed! I would have lost you both!"
"You had no right to deny me that choice!" He growled angrily, forcing her back into the chair in which she had arisen earlier. Maude dropped into it heavily as Ezra leaned down towards her, making her look into his eyes and know his anger. "You took from me my father, someone I barely remember but know I loved because I remember how it felt to be his son! Bosshard killed him in the flesh but what you did was no better, you killed him in the memories of those he sacrificed his life to save!"
"Don't you dare say that!" She slapped him hard across the face and saw his eyes harden against he pain as if he was beyond it somehow. The action ended up hurting her more than it did him.
"Peter was the only man that I ever loved!" Maude cried out, "the three years that I was married to him were the happiest of my life! All that we dreamed and wanted for the future died with him and I had to make hard choices for us to survive! Bosshard and his friends were powerful men! Your father warned me before it happened that if he were to die that I was to do everything in my power to keep you safe! I had no family, no friends who dared help us and they were coming after us. I didn't even know who Bosshard was but I knew he was coming, so I did the best that I could. I took you and I ran. I changed my name to Standish which was my family name and disappeared!"
"You should have told me," Ezra muttered, his own eyes filling up with moisture. "I needed to know that I was his son."
"Why?" Maude asked. "Is it not enough that you loved him?"
"No it wasn't!" Ezra roared, angry because he had to explain it to her. "All my life I have been this," he looked down upon himself as if he were something distasteful. "I have stayed this because I believed I could not be anything else since both my parents were the same. I thought that it was in my blood to live this life. If I had known that there was a possibility of there being more, I would not be where I am today. You took that away from me and I cannot forgive you for that."
"Ezra," Maude started to sob hearing that. "Please don't say that."
Ezra was not listening. He started to walk towards the door. "I do not know what is to be done with you at this point," he muttered softly, not certain if she was listening and certainly not caring. "You have attempted to murder a man in cold blood and that must be answered for."
"What about Bosshard!" Maude cried out. "He killed your father!"
"Yes," Ezra nodded. "He did and he should pay, once I figure out how that is to be done exactly."
"I will kill him before I let him leave Four Corners," Maude said viciously.
Ezra turned to her again; feeling a little shaken about everything that he had learnt today but also by the vehemence in her voice. He had no doubt that she would carry out that threat. As angry as he was with her, Ezra was not about to let her do anything foolish. "You will stay away from him."
"I will not!" She declared almost astonished he could suggest it.
"Yes you will," he said with enough command in his voice to ensure that he was obeyed. "You are accusing him of a thirty year old crime to which I doubt that there are any witnesses. You kill him and you will be spending the next thirty years behind bars if you make it that far and are not sentenced to hang. If you care about nothing else, you can at least spare me that horror. He will not escape but I need to think this out."
"We have to do something," Maude retorted defiantly, unprepared to let matters rest at just that. For so many years, the image of her husband's killer had remained in her mind and she had used it to keep her mind sharp for her own sake as well as her son. Never once in those years had she acted out of any need for vengeance, merely survival until the dreams of justice became as forgotten as the person she had been during her years as Mrs. Peter Reeves. Now Ezra was grown and more than capable of defending himself. He was beyond Bosshard's reach and Maude could finally turn her thoughts to satisfying her feelings of anger and despair at having the only man she had ever loved taken away from her so prematurely. "All these years, we lived with what he did to us but I'm not going to let him get away with it any more."
"You will do nothing," Ezra ordered harshly. "Not a thing, do you understand me?"
"I will not allow him to get away with it." She said defiantly.
"I am not asking you to allow that," Ezra returned. He needed time to come to grips with what he had learnt today as well as formulate some kind of plan on how they would handle this situation. Allowing Maude to simply kill Bosshard was out of the question. Bosshard had powerful friends and that was no less true now then it was all those years ago when he and his mother had been forced into hiding. Any act of vengeance about Bosshard would bring down the wrath of those powerful associates and he had no wish to see Maude endangered in that fashion. However, the man had murdered his father and that had to be answered for. "But Bosshard still has his connections and if you were to strike at him, it will not end this. At the present, the best protection we have is that Bosshard does not know who you are. The man has had a bloody career and no doubt he has made many a woman a widow. While his unaware of you, we have time to decide what we are to do about him."
"Am I to remain here?" Maude asked after a moment, realising rather begrudgingly that her son was correct. She did not cared little for the consequences to herself but her son was another matter entirely. "I did attempt to shoot him."
"I will discuss the matter with Mr. Larabee," Ezra sighed, wondering how they could avoid keeping his mother in jail. Although he did not voice it, Ezra knew it would not take long for Bosshard to discern Maude's identity and when that discovery was made, he rather not have his mother be confined to the jailhouse when the man came hunting for her. "I don't believe anyone, other than Bosshard that is, will object to it if you remained in town while we send for the judge to deal with the matter."
"The Judge?" Maude stared at him, not at all liking the idea that Orin Travis was going to be brought into this. A lifetime dedicated to the shell game still made Maude a little apprehensive when dealing with any office of law enforcement, no matter how trusted the man behind the title was.
"He has to be brought into this mother," he met her gaze and softened a little seeing her worry. "We cannot show the good folk of this community that we are beyond the law. They have enough difficulty seeing us as more than seven drifters that took up residence in town. If we were seen to be protecting our own, it could undermine whatever respectability we have managed to procure."
"I understand," Maude replied and surprised herself because she truly did. With so many of the men now settling in the small community, Ezra included, she could understand why he would like to protect his position. "Shall I stay at the hotel?"
"I think not," Ezra retorted immediately. He did not relish the idea of his mother sharing the same roof with the man whom she had attempted to shoot a few hours ago. "Perhaps you should reside with Julia for the duration."
"I do not wish to impose." Maude responded, aware that her son and the Emporium owner were on intimate terms. Though for the sake of appearances, they were always the picture of propriety, Maude could tell by their body language towards each other that Julia and Ezra shared a physical relationship. She did not disapprove because she knew the two were madly in love with each other and marriage was just a matter of time.
"You will not be." He replied.
"I noticed that," she remarked offhandedly. "Care to tell me why?"
Ezra shrugged, realising that she was asking for more than he was willing to divulge. With a sigh of disappointment, Ezra guessed that she had noticed his behavior and her question was an inquiry regarding that. His feelings had not changed; he was not ready to tell her the truth, if ever. What happened to him was an ordeal Maude did not need to know, especially in light of what she had told him about his father, a Marshall who would never found himself in the situation that had allowed him to become Hannibal Julius' victim.
"There is nothing to tell." Ezra answered after a lengthy pause. "Come along," he changed the subject abruptly, hoping to propel her past the moment. "We should make our start to Julia's."
"Something has happened to you," Maude declared, refusing to let him get away from her that easily, even as he made his way to the door. "Hasn't it?"
Ezra let out a heavy sigh and met her eyes once more as he paused at the doorway. "Yes," he nodded, allowing her that much but no more. "Something has."
"Why can't you tell me?" She implored.
"Because I cannot even face it myself." He replied softly before he walked out of the room.
Nathan had every intention of being on hand for Ezra following his discussions with his mother regarding her startling revelations and suspected that the Standish Tavern would be the gambler's first destination after talking to her. Nathan waited at the bar nursing his drink as he tried to imagine what was going through Ezra's mind following Maude's admission. Secrets were dangerous no matter what their content and their power was great. They saturated into one's being and left an indelible mark behind. Nathan knew precisely how they could effect a person. For so many years, Nathan had thought his father was a coward for never standing up for his mother against the white masters at the plantation where he had grown up. Only recently, had he learnt the unpleasant truth; it was not his mother that his father was attempting to protect by submitting to their master's desire but rather him. The overseer at their plantation had demanded sexual favors from his mother or else the man would have sold Nathan, only seven at the time to another plantation. His father had been powerless, having faced the unimaginable choice of sparing his wife's honor or seeing their child taken away from them.
Learning the truth had allowed Nathan to see his father for the tragic figure he was and it had given new depth to their relationship for what remained of his father's life. Before Jebediah had passed on from consumption, he and Nathan forged a deeper understanding of one another and Nathan wished inwardly that he had known the truth because it would have changed so many things between them far sooner. His opinion about his father was nothing in comparison to what Ezra must be enduring presently in learning the truth about his father. Nathan had seen it Ezra's eyes when Chris had forced Maude into revealing that his father had been a marshal. The expression on Ezra's face had been one he could not even begin to describe and Nathan had seen him at his absolute worst of late. Nathan kept tell himself as Chris ushered them out of the jailhouse that Ezra did not need this now. He was barely holding his own after what had happened to him with Julius and this could destroy any progress he had made during his recovery of the last two months.
"Hey I thought I'd find you here." Vin Tanner remarked as he suddenly appeared next to Nathan at the counter. The tracker was the only person that Nathan knew who could sneak up on anyone, even in a broad daylight or across a crowded room with no one noticing him in the slightest.
"Hey Vin," Nathan greeted as the younger man slid into the stool next to him.
"You seen him yet?" Vin inquired, glancing around the room in an obligatory gesture even though he knew that Ezra was not present.
"No," Nathan shook his head somberly as Vin ordered himself a drink. "It shouldn't be too long though. Once he gets done talking to Maude, this is the first place he's gonna come."
"Can't say I blame him," Vin sighed. Like the rest of the seven, Vin was just as shocked by the news about Ezra's father. "A man goes through his whole life believing one thing about himself and then finding out that he's been lied to by the one person whom he should be able to trust above everyone else. I don't envy him."
"Well he and Maude have a peculiar kind of relationship," Nathan pointed out. "They're always playing games with each other. I guess being what they are, they can't help it."
"But that's not all Ezra is," Vin pointed out. "We know he ain't as bad as his mother. A dollar a day ain't worth his time or trouble. We both know he could make a lot more money in places like Eagle Bend or Sweet Water. He stayed here because of us, because he wanted to be a part of something."
"We all want that." Nathan pointed out but he knew Vin was right.
"Not like Ezra." Vin said firmly.
"No," Nathan shook his head in agreement about that point. "Not like Ezra."
For a moment, neither of them said anything, as they were lost in their own thoughts about how they would face the situation if it were they in Ezra's place. They could not come to a satisfactory answer. Finally it was Vin who broke the silence by moving to a different subject all together and the real reason why he had sought out Nathan this evening.
"Nathan, how soon are you and Rain away from getting married?"
Nathan turned to Vin, rather surprised by the personal nature of the request. Vin was not one to make such inquiries because he was so fiercely private himself which made Nathan wonder what was on his mind by this question. "I don't know," Nathan shrugged. "I would like to wait until I became a real doctor but lately, I've been thinking that it ain't fair to Rain to make her wait. Why?"
"Well its Alex's idea really," Vin shrugged, wishing that Alex had made this offer to Nathan herself but she had the idea that it would be better received coming from Vin. "Once the house is finished, we'll be moving to the ranch. For the last two months of her time, I think she wants to stay close to home so we'll set up the clinic there. I've build her a place for it but that means her house in town isn't gonna get much use. Alex though that perhaps you'd like to move in there."
Nathan's eyes widened. "Are you kidding me?"
"No," Vin shook his head, uncertain for a moment whether or not Nathan was pleased by the idea or incensed. "I mean you've been paying rent for ages and if you moved into the house, you wouldn't have to since you're taking care of it and you need a place of your own. I mean you could do up the infirmary just the way you want it."
"That's a mighty generous offer," Nathan remarked, a little astonished by the prospect of having new premises, not to mention a home right above it. "I don't know what to say."
"Say yes," Vin prompted. "You know Alex sees you as family and so do I. If we ain't gonna live there no more, I can't see anyone else more fitting to take our place than you."
"Let me talk to Rain," Nathan said after a moment, still a little stunned by the offer. "I'll let you and Alex know but in the meantime, thank you Vin."
"Don't thank me," Vin retorted. "It was Alex's idea though I think it's a good one."
"It is," Nathan agreed. "Just caught me by surprise that's all."
"Well let us know when you're ready," Vin replied finishing his drink and standing up. "I've got to get going. Somehow, I'm gonna have to find some pie for my wife or she's gonna start eating the furniture."
Nathan chuckled, perfectly aware how voracious an appetite expecting mothers could be and sympathized with Vin's situation. "Try Mary." He suggested with a smile.
"I would," Vin nodded as he started to pull away from the healer. "If I could stand having to put up with the stupid grin Chris is gonna give me when I ask."
Nathan did not have long to wait until Ezra appeared. Vin had not been gone for more than half an hour and Nathan was through his second drink when he saw the reflection of the gambler entering the Standish Tavern through the glass wall behind the bar counter. Nathan did not react immediately to seeing Ezra slip through the batwing doors. He watched the man's reaction, trying to gauge his state of mind as Ezra's eyes swept across the floor of the tavern searching for a friendly face. It did not take long for Ezra to spot Nathan and Nathan did not turn around to give Ezra any indication of having been seen until after the gambler started towards him. Ezra's shoulder were slightly hunched as if there were some great weight upon his shoulders and had anyone been privy to the discussion in the jailhouse, they would have understood what it was.
Ezra slipped into the stool that Vin had occupied a short time ago, not meeting Nathan's gaze as he ordered himself a drink. When it came, Nathan noticed that it was not just a shot glass of whiskey but rather a whole bottle. It alarmed the healer inwardly because the gambler had not been drinking like this since the aftermath of his assault. Nathan wondered how much different this was to that ordeal because in a manner of speaking, Ezra was just as tormented by what he had learnt from Maude. Everything he believed about himself was now askew by the discovery that he was the son of a marshal not a gambler. Nathan had seen how the realization had effected him and had remained here in order to be of some help to his friend, or at the very least, allow Ezra to know that there was help if he needed it.
Ezra did not speak until he poured himself a drink. "What are you doing here?"
"I needed a drink," Nathan lied.
"After so many years in my company, is there nothing you learnt from me?" Ezra turned to him slowly.
"Meaning?" Nathan returned his gaze.
"Meaning," Ezra retorted with a hint of exasperation. "I thought I taught you to lie better than that."
"Well," Nathan replied, returning Ezra's little smile with one of his own. "It's hard to shine when in the presence of the master."
"Flattery will get you nowhere," Ezra frowned and faced front again. "I take it you are here as your self-appointed role as the custodian of my emotional well being?"
"Yeah," Nathan nodded seeing no reason to lie. "How are you doing?"
"Not well," Ezra frowned. "I left mother with Julia for the time being but that's no solution. She attempted to shoot a man in cold blood before the entire town. I fear that her residence with Julia's will be temporary. We may have to return her to the jailhouse tomorrow."
Ezra was right about his assertions. Chris Larabee had wired the judge upon leaving the jailhouse, anticipating that they would have to have some form of judiciary consequences for Maude's attack on Bosshard. Unfortunately, whether or not Bosshard could be implicated in the murder of Ezra's father was another thing entirely. However, they proceeded, there was no denying that things were about to become very unpleasant for Ezra and the seven.
"We'll figure something out," Nathan said reassuringly, hoping that would help lift Ezra's spirits even though he was not very optimistic about his chances.
"I do not know who I am anymore Nathan," Ezra found himself confiding. "Everything I am, everything I thought I was is suddenly changing. I wish things would remain stationary for a time."
"I know," the healer said sympathetically. "Sometimes change is good. Things stay the same too long and you lose your edge."
"My edge is as sharp as I can tolerate it at this time with all the changes I have been enduring lately," Ezra said automatically. I never thought I would say this but I almost longing for the days before I came to Four Corners, when not caring suited me well." He admitted somewhat ashamed.
"After what you've been through, that's understandable." Nathan pointed out.
"You are a good friend Mr. Jackson," Ezra met his gaze. "I shall need good friends and equally good counsel in the days to come."
"You know you can count on all of us." Nathan declared firmly.
"I know that but my actions of late has left me unsure of my judgement. I murdered a man out of vengeance Nathan." He said continuing to stare into Nathan's eyes to see if the man would flinch. The healer did not.
"He had it coming." Nathan stated firmly and for once did not feel any remorse in advocating the violence that had been visited upon Hannibal Julius for his unspeakable actions towards Ezra.
"Yes he did," Ezra agreed readily enough. "However, I am not proud of what I did Nathan. I pride myself of being in control and what I did to him was an act of butchery that I will not soon forget. However, now I learn that my father was murdered and taken from me in a similar act of hatred, am I to take vengeance upon Mr. Bosshard as I did on Julius? How can I tell my mother that she cannot harm the man, that she ought to let justice take care of him in due course when I could not wait when wreaking my vengeance upon Julius?"
Nathan did not know how to answer and he had a feeling that if they did not produce one, Maude would attempt to find it herself and destroy Ezra in the process.