It seems that the fates have paid me
some Unwanted Attention around here of late. With a severe case of depression
it does seem to be Killing Time. I know that should be crying time, because
that certainly is true through all the Shining Tears that have been falling
lately. But I have been Driven by the Bittersweet
fates of life to look at things and wonder is it Worth It All, with just a bit
more feeling than crying or Just Smile and saying things are fine. I feel I am
mired in Quicksand with No Way Out and all my thoughts can do is turn toward
Vengeance or at least Retribution. Revenge Is Mine they say.
Now The Conversation may turn to ask
why I am in such a Bad Mood and feeling so Lost. Well
my Descent Into Darkness is quite easy to explain. Bad
Luck is certainly no Surprise, it is just one of the Scenes Of
My Life, but the loss of the transmission in The Wreck I drive was. The Good
Book does not cover the words used about that. Nor were they Words of Honor to
be sure. In Moments Like These you just feel like you
are Running Against the Wind. Oh the Trials we face, just Wake Me When The Day Is Over.
And it couldn't happen at a worse
time. Because after a Change of Plans but never a Change of Heart, my daughter
and her fiancee following through with their
Honorable Intentions and getting married next week. The Proposal was three long
years ago, but the event has been Waiting For A Place
to Happen. Now they each have A Promise To Keep. As
they are Preparing For Life, I can only Hope their
Dreams come true and the Family they form will last for an Eternal time and may
all the Saints And Angels watch over them.
Then to add to these Complications I
have These Friends of Mine. They Come Out Of The Woods
and Out Of The Shadows to give me a Reason For Being. Although Never Asked I
can Trust them to help A Friend In Need and be the Wind Beneath
My Wings. I can assure you this is not a case of Mistaken Identity as they are
Always The Hero. In a Heartbeat these friends will
there for they all have a Heart of Gold. But why if they are so good do they
add to my Joys And Disappointments. . .because they
are fan fiction writers.
Oh yes truly, the Deadlier Of The Species, for they are always for Hurting The Ones We
Love. Carving Their Niche they weave wondrous tales of seven magnificent men
that leave me in Seventh Heaven. With no More Than Words they give warmth on
Cold Nights or After The Rain, heal Fractures, offer
Refuge from the storm, pull at Heartstrings and mend Hard Feelings. Then walking
The Fine Line between pleasure and Pain they leave you dangling with a
cliffhanger! Redemption is mine
and Someday I will not be Standing Outside the Fire watching
these endless Mind Games. With These Hands, or By These Fist Alone I will
Breakout and as they say If You Can't Beat `Em I will
make my own Devil's Bargain and leave these friends gasping for more. Now I
have A Promise To Keep and perhaps this will see me
through my Darkest Hours. Of course I know if I don't follow through with this
there could be stiff Penalties and everyone will want Pieces of Me. Oh well,
Just Another Day, no Pressure there.
At The Price Of A
Broken Promise I have had my say. I will beg your
Forgiveness for this trite little piece and hope you can still be A Friend To Me. I have not Vanquished all my woes or had a Change In
Attitude but If Tomorrow Never Comes I Still know that by Twilight's Last
Gleaming star there are friends here who offer Strength Of The
Soul, and for that and all they do I
am thankful.
I think My Job Is Done and Hope I
have offered something of Value. That you see we are all Spokes In The Wheel and the fandom and the friendships will go on.
Next Time perhaps I will speak more from a Poet's Heart and even keep Promises Made. For now I think it is time for some
Fresh Air for I'm seeing Two of Everything. Here's To Better Days but if you
still want more perhaps you could read all the stories mentioned here, you
never know when you might find Unexpected Treasure. So off I go back In Hiding. . . Fade To Black.
feedback to cinbg@yahoo.com