Green Eggs and What??

By: Cin



ATF Universe

Ezra Standish steamed into Team 7's office and glanced haphazardly to the office clock as he tossed a manila folder on his desk. Removing his jacket, he carefully and neatly hung it just so over the back of his chair and angrily rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt. He loosened his tie as he sat down, pulling the file in front of him; this day was just going great if one counted circling the drain as fun.

His meeting didn't go well and went late on top of it. He missed lunch and his stomach noisily reminded him of that fact. If he took the time to go now though, Larabee would just accuse him of slacking off. An unpleasant Larabee was to be avoided if at all possible; he liked his backside in the pristine condition it was, thank you very much. He flicked the folder open and began sorting through the papers.

***Rumble***

What a dreadful noise. If his stomach did not quiet down, he would never be able to concentrate. He thought about checking out the vending machines. . . a shudder ran through him at the thought. He must be desperate. Glancing across the way to his partner Vin Tanner's desk, he remotely thought about checking out the stash he knew the sharpshooter concealed in the bottom drawer. Surely he could find a pastry there that would be somewhat edible . . .another harder shudder shook his shoulders.

***Rumble***

The frustrated undercover agent pushed the file away from him and leaned back in his chair in disgust. He should be able to go out and enjoy a decent repast, he thought. He was entitled and he could explain his delay to Larabee with no problems what so ever. Ezra rolled his eyes at thought that he could ever explain anything to his stern leader's satisfaction. Rubbing his fingers on the bridge of his nose he knew his stomach was just not going to let him work. . . especially with that smell fueling its unrest.

Ezra's head snapped up. . .that smell! What was that delectable smell and why was it coming from their break room? Abandoning his desk he cautiously approached the room and peeked inside.

Vin Tanner was relaxed on the couch, back against the armrest, his legs stretched out over the cushions, crossed at the ankles. He was slowly forking contents from the plate balanced on his lap into his mouth as he read a Guns & Ammo magazine he held in his free hand. The man looked content; how dare he!

"Mr. Tanner?"

The sharpshooter glanced up from his reading, "Hey, Ez. How was the meeting?"

"Not worth mentioning." Standish stepped further into the room. "Mr. Tanner may I ask, is that delicious smell coming from . . ." Ezra stopped and pointed at the contents of Vin's plate.

Vin glanced down and smiled, "Yeah, Consuelo made it. Had a potluck at the community center the other night and she brought this. I liked it so much, she fixed some up for me to bring up here."

"It smells wonderful," Ezra drooled. He swallowed quickly to hide his obvious desire for some.

"Have some, she made plenty."

Ezra hesitated, "What's in it?"

"Not exactly sure, some meat, rice, a green vegetable. . .won't kill ya, Ez. "

Taking just a moment to think about his decision another rumble from his stomach convinced him that the old adage was true, 'beggars should not be choosy'. "I did miss lunch. . ."

Vin pointed to the refrigerator, "It's in the bakin' dish covered in foil."

Making the decision that the casserole was better than nothing, Ezra pulled the dish from the refrigerator. Locating a plate in the cabinets he spooned up a portion and slid it into the microwave. As the ding signaled his meal was ready, the smell once again convinced his stomach that he was too hungry to worry about what the dish contained.

Taking a hesitant but healthy bite, Ezra raised his eyebrows in surprise. "This is remarkably tasty. Thank you for sharing." He

pushed a bit of the casserole around on his plate. "Green beans. . .is the meat ham?"

"I tell you I did get her phone number."

Tanner was saved from answering by the boisterous arrival of the Dynamic Duo of Buck and JD.

"Buck, you're so full of it," JD pushed the larger man into the room.

"And you're just jealous," the ladies man was waving a slip of paper under the younger man's nose.

JD attempted to grab the paper but Buck pulled it back, "No, Kid, there's stuff written on here ain't meant for innocent eyes."

Rolling his eyes, JD pushed past his friend, "Hey guys."

Vin gave the duo a half-hearted wave with his fork as he remained engrossed in his magazine. Ezra continued to push the contents of his plate around trying to ascertain the ingredients while munching contently on alternate bites.

"Something sure smells good," JD declared attempting to look at the contents of Ezra's plate. The southerner protected his meal with his hands.

"Help yourself, it's in the fridge," the Texan mumbled between bites.

As the young agent headed for the refrigerator his disbelieving roommate stood shaking his head. "JD, you just polished off half a pizza."

Pulling back the foil to look inside the baking dish JD cocked a questioning eyebrow at his friend, "So?" Looking back over the dish he queried to Vin, "What's this green stuff?"

"Green beans."

"What? Vin's eating vegetables?" Disbelief sounded in the tone and Nathan moved forward, looking as if he planned to take Vin's temperature.

Four pair of eyes turned in surprise to see Nathan and Josiah standing in the doorway observing them. JD giggled as he caught the one finger salute the sharpshooter gave Nathan behind his magazine.

"Consuelo made me lunch, there's plenty there if y'all want some," Vin turned back to his magazine after giving the medic another glare, warning him to keep his distance.

"It does smell heavenly," Josiah commented as he peeked at the dish over JD's shoulder. "What's in it?"

"That Mr. Sanchez seems to be the million dollar question," the Southerner forking up another mouthful, deciding he really didn't care, it was delicious and doing the job of settling his empty stomach.

Buck leaned over the dish and eyed the contents of the dish closely and took a big sniff. "What is that meat?. . .is that ham?. ..oh no. . ." he started laughing, "that's Spam!"

"What's Spam?" JD asked as Ezra turned a decided shade of green.

"It's a canned lunchmeat, JD," Nathan chuckled.

"Like canned ham," Josiah agreed.

"Oh, but you don't know what parts of the pig you're getting there, son," Buck crowed. "Like them Vienna sausage things, all parts of the pig all ground up and smashed together," the tall man clapped his hands together for emphasis. His face added to the visual description, twisting and contorting.

Standish pushed his plate away and took several deep breaths. Vin rolled his eyes as the rogue continued his tirade.

"Hey, Vin I am," Buck roared, "I do not like Green Eggs and Ham oops I mean Spam." The mustached man laughed harder at his joke, "Yep, ole Vin I said, I will not eat Green Eggs and Spam!"

* * * * * * *

Larabee was not pleased as entered the office and heard Wilmington's roaring laughter coming from the break room. The leader of Team 7 was not a happy man as it was. Two items he requested and desperately needed had been cut in the budget meeting he just attended, and on top of it the meeting ran long and now he'd missed lunch. He thought about sneaking out and get something anyway, but what sort of example would that be to his men to return late. His empty stomach was not helping as it rumbled in protest. The vein in his forehead was beginning to throb signaling the start of a headache as he listened to his friend's crowing laughter. And that smell was adding fuel to the fire to let him know just how miserable he felt. That smell. . . out of their break room? Someone has real food in the break room? They better plan on sharing.

"What's going on in here?" he roared as he stood in the doorway as he raked his team with a cold green glare.

Standish, his arms crossed on the table, had his head down and a half eaten plate of food in front of him. He didn't bother to respond to the leader's irate presence. JD and Josiah looked guilty as they gazed up from the tentative bites they were sampling from JD's plate. Nathan was trying not laugh at Buck's antics as he danced around the room reciting verse after verse of 'Green Eggs and Ham' oops - that's 'Green Eggs and Spam'.

Vin glanced over his shoulder from where he was washing up his plate at the sink, trying to ignore his gloating teammate, "Welcome, back cowboy." Seeing the green glare he received in reply he turned back to his chore with a small grin, "Guess not."

"Don't you have work to do?" The ice from the eyes was beginning to take dagger form. Next it would slay all in its path.

"We were just sampling some of the food Consuelo sent with Vin," Nathan was still biting back a laugh but tried to calm the waters.

"Lunch is over," the statement was almost a whisper but still lethal.

"Right," Nathan squeezed by his boss and out the door followed closely by Josiah who risked a hand by giving the glowering leader a compassionate pat on the back.

Buck came around Chris and put an arm around his friend's shoulders, "Now remember Chris, don't take no Green Eggs and  Ha. . .Spam." Still chuckling he followed the others out.

JD timidly started to move pass the statue in black when he remembered he was still carrying a plate of food. Sheepishly he started to go back around the immovable block when Chris reached out and took the plate from him, cocking his head for him to go on.

He returned his stare to the sharpshooter who was leaning nonchalantly back against the sink, arms crossed, legs crossed at the ankles. The glare hardened as he noticed the mischievous half grin appear on his friend's face.

"Bad day?" came the soft drawl.

As the green daggers flew in his direction the Texan chuckled and pushed away from the counter. Passing by the still scowling form, he pointed at the plate Chris held in his hand.

"Plenty more where that come from, help yourself. Maybe ya need to eat?" The lean man risked a pat to his friend's rumbling

stomach and dodged the glare that followed him out the door.

Chris walked over and sat the plate down on the counter, eyeing it speculatively. . .and he had to admit a bit hungrily. He turned seeing the Southerner had not moved and in the background he could hear Buck still carrying on about green eggs and something.

"How did the meeting go?"

A wary green eye peaked up from the crossed arms, truth or divergence? Seeing the thundercloud mood written all over Larabee's countenance he chose the saner path. . .truth. "Deplorable. Yours."

A quick nod was the only response.

**RUMBLE**

Two sets of green eyes gazed down at their offending stomachs.

"No lunch," Chris admitted guiltily.

"Same here," Standish admitted. He looked at the half finished plate of food in front of him. 'Spam?' Sighing he thought of his empty stomach. It really wasn't that bad was it?

**RUMBLE**

Green eyes met again in silent conversation. 'I won't tell if you don't.' Two curt nods agreed.

Ezra pulled his plate back toward him as Chris turned to dish some more of the casserole onto the plate JD had left him.

A smirking sharpshooter turned away from the door. Maybe he could get Consuelo to send another one of those casserole things she does. Maybe the tator tot one. . .that was good. Or maybe more exotic, or regional? Maybe they'd go for her special chili or Menudo?

"Nope Vin I Am, I don't want no Green Eggs and Spam!" Buck was still singing at the top of his voice.

Vin shook his head and hoped there wasn't a song or something for Menudo!

"Hey, Vin I Am, I will not eat Green Eggs and Spam!"

Nope Vin decided giving the large man, reciting the now obnoxious verse while spinning around in his chair, an evil grin and a salute. Before he surprised them with more of Consuelo's offerings, he was going to disengage Wilmington's vocal cords!

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