Buck sighed as he leaned against the back wall of the elevator, glad for once that he was all alone as he rode the car back up to the office. He thought long lunches were supposed to be relaxing; especially when having a beautiful woman join him. He ran a hand through his thick, wavy hair then shook his head. It had not bothered him that his lunch date was married, but it sure had bothered her husband. Well at least none of his teammates had been present for the ensuing fiasco. He would never hear the end of it if they even caught wind of it.
Pushing himself away from the wall with perfect timing to the dinging of the elevator on his floor and striding out just as the doors eased open, Buck prepared himself for dealing with his teammates. Just as he had been about to enter the building he had received a call from Chris telling him that he was calling an impromptu meeting and that Buck had better get his ass back to the office pronto. As he stepped into the bullpen Buck noticed that the others must already be in the conference room, so he quickly changed direction and quick timed it over there. Chris had sounded awfully pissed off on the phone and the way Buck’s day was going, he did not want any more complications.
All six of his teammates turned to look at him as he pushed the door open. He flashed them his best, “ah what’re ya gonna do” smile as he started toward the nearest vacant chair. He froze as the room was suddenly engulfed in the unmistakable strains of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Gimme Three Steps”. The smile slipped off his face as the others erupted into laughter. Buck winced and considered walking out the door but Chris now stood there, a devilish grin covering his face from ear to ear. Without a doubt they all knew.
I was cuttin' the rug down at a place
called the Jug
With a girl named Linda Lou
When in walked a man with a gun in his hand
And he was looking for you-know-who.
He said hey there fella with the hair colored yellow,
What you tryin' to prove?
Cause that's my woman there and I'm a man who cares,
And this might be all for you.
I said, Excuse me!
Well I was scared and fearin' for my
life
I was shakin' like a leaf on a tree,
Cause he was lean and mean and big and bad, Lord,
And pointin' that gun at me.
I said, now wait a minute mister, I didn't even kiss her,
Don't want no trouble with you.
And I know you don't owe me, but I wish you would let me
Ask one favor from you.
Well, won't you gimme three steps,
gimme three steps mister,
Gimme three steps toward the door?
Gimme three steps, gimme three steps mister,
And you'll never see me no more!
For sure!
Well the crowd cleared away, and I
began to pray,
And the water fell on the floor.
And I'm tellin' you son, it ain't no fun
Lookin' straight down a .44.
Well he turned and screamed at Linda Lou,
And that's the break I was lookin' for.
And you could hear me screaming a mile away
As I was headed out toward the door,
Hey, won't you gimme three steps,
gimme three steps mister,
Gimme three steps toward the door.
Gimme three steps, gimme three steps mister,
and you'll never see me no more.
Show me the back door!
The song ended, but there was just a short interval of silence before it looped around to start up once again. The others continued to laugh and snicker at Buck as J.D. had the kindness to at least turn the volume down.
“It ain’t funny!” Buck started his defense. “I coulda been shot.” He figured sympathy might be his only hope.
Unfortunately the man most likely to administer it was the first one to knock it down. “Well, Buck, you go prowling in another man’s territory, you just might get shot for trespassing,” Nathan said attempting to stifle his laughter.
“Now, I wasn’t in another man’s territory…” he started, his outrage beginning to bubble over.
“Least not yet,” Chris stated with a tilt to his head, a smile slowly drawing up one side of his lips into a smirk.
Buck’s eyes flared hotly but all he could do was repeatedly point his finger at Chris as he struggled to find words, any words that would remove him from the situation. The others roared with laughter at watching the king of innuendo getting a healthy dose of his own medicine.
“Oh sure, laugh it up,” Buck finally managed, “I coulda gotten my head blown off!” He immediately knew that was a poor choice of words when the five men seated at the conference table let loose with howls of laughter. Even Chris gave a sort of chortle from the doorway. Ignoring the others, Buck glared at him. “Who the hell told you anyway?”
Chris shook his head as he stepped over to Buck and wrapped a brotherly arm around his shoulders. “Now, Buck, you know I see all and know all.”
Vin stopped laughing long enough to add, “And what he don’t see or know, Inez tells him.”
Buck slapped his palm to his forehead as he exclaimed, “Inez!”
Chris tsked, tsked. “You should know better than to have your dangerous liaisons over at the Saloon, Stud.”
Buck finally surrendered to the teasing as he knew he would not be able to escape it. He comforted himself with the knowledge that he would have payback on all of them. “Would it help my case, if I told you that I honestly didn’t know that she was married?” he asked as he slid into a chair.
“No,” Josiah said, “cause we know even if you did know, it wouldn’t of mattered to you.”
Buck sighed expansively. “Well could you at least turn off that damn song?”
“Aww, come on, Buck,” J.D. laughed. “It’s growing on me.”
The tall agent rolled his eyes as he mumbled, “Oh great, now I can look forward to hearing this along with that other trash you call music.” For once he ignored the wounded look on J.D.’s face as his anger kindled anew. “And knowing that this ain’t your kind of music, means that it had to be one of these other jokers who came up with it.” He looked at the other five intently. “So which one of you was it?”
He immediately ruled out Chris. Their friendship went too far back for him to have missed a Lynyrd Skynyrd fetish somewhere. Next he ruled out Nathan as the man lived only for the blues. Josiah was not likely as he preferred 60’s rock and roll to Southern rock. That thought led Buck to his two prime suspects, Ezra and Vin. He snapped his head around, hoping to startle one of them into betraying himself. Instead he found himself staring at twin sets of innocent looks with matching mischievous glints in their eyes. Well, the two of them were often cohorts in crime, so he did not see why this time would be any different. But Vin could see that Buck was looking for someone to blame, so he shook his head and said, “It wasn’t me, pard.”
Buck looked at Ezra in surprise as he could not see the suave Southerner knowing who Lynyrd Skynyrd was, much less name a song from them. But then, there was still so much that they did not know about Ezra. “You?” he croaked out. “Don’t tell me you listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd.”
Ezra grinned, dimples flashing, as he leaned smugly back into his chair. Then like quicksilver the light dimmed in his eyes as he blinked slowly at Buck. “Why, Cletus, ain’t you got no learnings?” Gone was his gentlemanly drawl, replaced with hillbilly hick. “Lynyrd Skynyrd ain’t a band, it’s a god! Hell, boy! Freebird rules!” The last was shouted as he pumped his fist up near his chin and tossed a wink over to a slack jawed J.D.
The shocked silence of six Federal agents reigned even over Ezra’s laughter as they tried to comprehend what had just happened there. They knew they were staring at an immaculately dressed man in an Armani suit, but the image his voice had conjured was that of a man loosely garbed in a beer stained t-shirt and cut-off jeans. But then they supposed that was why Ezra was the best damn undercover agent the agency had ever seen. The truth could be standing there in front of you, knocking you upside the head even. But Ezra could so easily sell you the lie that you would let him keep the change and give him a huge tip to boot. As their shock subsided they joined him in laughter.
Finally Chris asked, “So you alright there, Stud?”
“Yeah, I’m alright,” Buck sighed. “I tell you, it’s one thing to have a gun trained on you during a bust and a whole other ball of wax when it interrupts your lunch.”
Chris nodded, sympathy and understanding briefly making their way into his green eyes. “I think you handled it pretty good. No one got hurt.”
J.D. laughed, not liking the serious turn things were taking as it would make him think too hard on how dangerous the situation had been for Buck. The young man hated dwelling on the fact that he could have lost his roommate in that way. He did not want anything to ever happen to Buck, but he figured the big man deserved to go out in a blaze of glory. “Yeah, Inez, told us all about it!”
Nathan and Josiah stood and patted Buck on the shoulders as they walked past him and out of the conference room. Chris shook his head one last time at his old friend before he followed them out. Buck smiled as he finally heard what J.D. had said. “Well now, kid, you just tell me exactly what Inez said about me.”
“Buck, you almost got shot by some woman’s husband and now you’re ready to go after Inez?” Vin asked in surprise. “Hell, Inez’ll shoot you herself!”
Buck grinned, “Nah, she’d never do that. Now that I think about it, she did seem awfully concerned about ol’ Buck.”
“Concerned that you were gonna bleed all over her Saloon, more like it,” J.D. threw in as he stood to follow Ezra and Vin, who were exiting the conference room even as they suppressed their chuckles.
Buck shook his head as he called after them, “There you go. Underestimating the Bucklin charm. Now tell me, exactly what she said,” he demanded as he scrambled to his feet. He paused for a moment, listening to the song. Yep, that’s all I need, he thought, just a couple of steps to stay ahead of the game.
Later
that evening Vin drove home with his mind slowly replaying the events
of the day. It was a habit he had long adopted, perhaps considering
his line of work it was a bit of an odd way to relax and unwind, but it always
helped him and ensured that he did not miss any important details or
information in the course of some of their hectic days. It had been a nice
change of pace today that the most interesting thing to happen had been Buck’s
lunch. And of course their “meeting” afterward. A lazy smile crept across his
face, growing into a chuckle which evolved into a full out laugh as he
remembered Buck's reaction to their playing “Gimme Three Steps” in honor of
him. Vin almost wished that he had been the one to think of it. Instead,
just like the others, he had been totally surprised when it was Ezra of all
people who suggested it.
Like the other five members of Team Seven, Ezra had shown real concern when
told of Buck's lunchtime adventures over at the Saloon. It was a
well-known fact of life in their jobs that they would often face the muzzle of
a gun pointed at them. But it was a completely different story when that
gun barrel was staring down at you when you thought you were doing nothing more
serious than eating lunch. Course, with Buck there was no such thing as
just eating lunch. And so, once they had learned that Buck was fine and
that no actual shots were fired or even any injuries at all, they had relieved
the moment of stress by joking about how these things could only possibly
happen to Buck.
As usual though, Ezra had stubbornly refused to join them as they huddled
together, each trying to think of the last time that Buck had to deal with an
angry ex. Each of them came up with different stories, each more
hilarious than the last. But it had been Ezra's sudden and surprising
laugh out loud from where he sat at his own desk that had drawn their
interest. He had grinned at them almost as if embarrassed when he noticed
their attention. And then of course, he had to baffle them by merely
stating, "Gimme Three Steps," in explanation.
The five men exchanged confused looks and furrowed brows until Chris prompted,
"Say again."
The undercover agent leaned back in his chair, his expression easily morphing
into the smugness with which they were far more familiar. He of course made
them wait through a rather lengthy pause as he made a show of attempting to
gather his thoughts well enough that they might understand. But the way that
Vin really figured it was that Ezra was embarrassed that he had been caught out
and was trying to find the best way to cover it up or maybe change the
subject. It was as if he was uncertain about their reaction to the information
he was about to relay and was trying to find the best way to do it so that he
could save face if necessary.
"Are any of you gentleman familiar with a southern rock band by the name
of
Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
Again bemused looks were exchanged even as they all nodded, although J.D. had
to add, "Yeah, they're known for that song, Freebird, right?" His
boyish face broke into a wide grin. "Ain't it supposed to be some kind of
sacred song of the South?"
Ezra sighed the long suffering sigh of a southern man attempting to educate
those unfortunate enough to have been born on the wrong side of the Mason-Dixon
Line. "There are those of the more exuberant southern personality
that do find that particular, near endless, song to speak of some fundamental
truths of the Southland soul. However, it is not the reason that I have brought
up the name Lynyrd Skynyrd. There is a song of theirs that has often
reminded me of a situation that our own Mr. Wilmington might find himself in
someday. Apparently that someday is today."
"Gimme Three Steps," Chris repeated Ezra's earlier words with a
knowing smile.
"Yes, that would be the one," the undercover agent agreed.
Nathan, Vin, and Josiah laughed as they too recognized the similarity of the
situation that the narrator of that song found himself in and the one that Buck
was in earlier that day. They knew that Buck had handled the situation far
better than the narrator, but there would be no harm in teasing him as if he
had not. J.D. looked from one man to the other, his eyes finally resting on
the still crookedly grinning Chris. "Gimme Three Steps" what's that
mean?" he asked.
Vin laughed, "Well, J.D., you're such an expert on the computer why don't
you just find out for yourself."
The younger man eyed Vin for a moment before rising to the challenge. Within
minutes of his returning to his computer and a bit of keyboarding and mouse
clicking the unmistakable strains of "Gimme Three Steps" filled the
office. J.D. listened to it as he read through the lyrics. He laughed hard but
then cut it off abruptly as an idea struck him. And so the kid had set it
up so that they could serenade Buck with that song when he returned for their
suddenly called “meeting”.
Vin laughed even harder as he remembered again the absolute outrage that had
filled Buck at their teasing. It was good to turn the tables on the tall
man and they would all be milking this situation for all that it was worth and
for as long as possible.
As he continued to drive, Vin's thoughts drifted to another Lynyrd Skynyrd song
that had special meaning for him personally. He was amazed and a little
saddened at how long it had been since he had even thought of the song, much
less listened to it. He decided that in its own way it was a good thing
that he was not called to listen to it anymore. Maybe it was a sign that
he had truly found a strange kind of peace with his teammates that were more
like family to him than anything else.
But now that the memory had been awakened he could not stop himself from
reminiscing. It was so very true that it was the oddest things that could
connect you to someone close to you. And he had always wanted more
memories of his mother, wanted more that he could hold on to so that he would
never forget her. Her touch had been a delicate one but her love fierce and
strong. That he never feared forgetting because it was so ingrained into who
he was, who he always wanted to be.
So when he first heard this song as a boy it immediately brought to mind his mother and what he truly believed was what she wanted of him. She had told him to remember he was a Tanner and through all the years of heartache and pain, he had held on to that, knowing that it was truly one thing that could never be taken away from him. Anyone who thought a name was just letters scrawled across a legal document could never understand what it meant to him. It was not so much pride in who his people were and what they had done, but honor to know that their blood flowed within his and that he held all the promise that they had fulfilled before him.
He took that charge from his mother quite seriously, knew that she had said those words, had stroked his hair with pride welling in her eyes. He knew that. But hard as he searched, he could not find the memory of it within himself. A shadow of it remained, the feel of the moment but no true image that he could call to his mind’s eye and replay. Hearing this song allowed him to reconnect to that memory, make it more real. And as it played, for just those few minutes in time, it was as if she was there again, one arm wrapped around him tightly, the other stroking his hair, her eyes imploring him to believe in himself so that the path he was meant to walk in life would unravel at his feet. So far he had walked it simply by following the heart entrusted to him by ancestors he had never known. And he may have stumbled a time or two, but he was certain that it had indeed led him true.
For here was his team, his family, disparate souls all of them yet somehow belonging together. He never tried to ponder on how they had managed to find each other for too long, for the wheres and whys were completely unimportant. All that mattered was that they were a team and worked well as one, but held each other as the family to replace the ones none of them knew for long enough or well enough. Vin knew to leave the ponderings of such things to the likes of Josiah who could somehow see the intricacies and textures of the seven lives that were now so deeply bound together. Vin was the simple man that he knew in his heart his mother had always wanted him to be. And that was all that mattered to him.
Simple Man
By Lynyrd Skynyrd
(Gary Rossington – Ronnie VanZant)
Mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say.
And if you do this
It will help you some sunny day.
Take your time…Don’t live too fast,
Troubles will come and they will pass.
Go find a woman and you’ll find love,
And don’t forget son,
There is someone up above.
(Chorus)
And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Won’t you do this for me son,
If you can?
Forget your lust for the rich man’s gold
All that you need is in your soul,
And you can do this if you try.
All that I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.
(Chorus)
Boy, don’t you worry…you’ll find yourself.
Follow your heart and nothing else.
And you can do this if you try.
All I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.
(Chorus)
©Copyright 1973 by Duchess Music. All rights reserved.
Normally the radio remained set on one station; he just was not the type to dart from one station to the other. But today, as he drove home, Nathan found himself in the mood for something a bit different than what he usually listened to. A short bark of disbelieving laughter escaped his lips as he scanned through the stations and happened upon the very beginning of the song for which he had been unconsciously searching. So with an indulgent, self-satisfied smile he cranked up the volume to Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Sweet Home Alabama” just as Ronnie Van Zant directed him to “Turn it up!”
There was just something about this song, something infectious in the music that always had him moving a bit to it even as his left foot tapped in time. Of course it did not hurt that it was about his home state.
Big
wheels keep on turning
Carry me home to see my kin
Singing songs about the Southland
I miss Alabamy once again
And I think it’s a sin, yes
At hearing those first few lines, Nathan could never repress the bit of homesickness that filled him. It was all such a deep part of who he was. Just the same way that it was a deep part of who Ezra was. But for all that his and Ezra’s geographical origins were similar, it seemed that they never shared very much with each other about their pasts and their lives back home. Nathan truly blamed no one but history, though it was sometimes a hard history to overcome.
Well
I heard mister Young sing about her
Well, I heard ole Neil put her down
Well, I hope Neil Young will remember
A Southern man don't need him around anyhow
Nathan allowed himself a small smile at that. Nothing can get a reaction out of a Southerner faster than someone, especially a Yankee or in Neil Young’s case a Canadian, trying to tell him how to do things. And it worked both ways, for both black and white. There was just too much pride and again just a long history that was sometimes too hard to let go. But Nathan did not care too much for songs that attempted to make statements like Neil Young’s did, especially in the sensational manner in which he did it. The issues were far too complicated to be easily addressed in a song.
But what brought the smile to Nathan’s lips was the fact that despite this little sting in Neil Young’s direction, Lynyrd Skynyrd and Neil Young actually collaborated on some music. It made him think of his relationship with Ezra. The two of them outwardly argued about just about everything, but when it came down to it, both of them worked together as a team and as friends.
Sweet
home Alabama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet Home Alabama
Lord, I'm coming home to you
Another wave of homesickness struck Nathan as he suddenly found himself trying to remember when was the last time that he had been home. It had been far too long. And while he found his teammates to be his new family, there was nothing like the extended family that he had left behind. Suddenly he found himself thinking about how wonderful it would be to introduce Rain to the aunts and uncles and all the others who had a hand in raising him and making him into the man he was today.
In
Birmingham they love the governor
Now we all did what we could do
Now Watergate does not bother me
Does your conscience bother you?
Tell the truth
In all honesty, Nathan could never understand this verse of the song. But again he was not really looking for a song with a social message. Instead he liked to react to music for its visceral impact. Still he had to think that again they were pointing out that there were many layers to everything and no easy answers. Those who were for or against Governor Wallace or those who were for or against President Nixon could argue for all of eternity. It was all a matter of perspective and agendas. The truth behind the two men’s actions might never be known, but the impact they both had on the country would still be felt for quite some time.
Now
Muscle Shoals has got the Swampers
And they've been known to pick a song or two
Lord they get me off so much
They pick me up when I'm feeling blue
Now how about you?
Nathan laughed as he realized just how this song had “gotten him off.” It was just a song that moved you whether you cared to decipher the “meaning” of it or not. It was a song that was as simple and complex as the South herself. She had a heritage all her own. Those who lived it could cherish it and curse it all in the same breath. He did not find it strange at all, though he knew that there would be plenty of others who would, that the one man on his team that could understand all that was the one man that everyone seemed to think he had the least in common with. The truth was that he and Ezra had a lot in common; they merely dealt with it and expressed it in different manners.
Big wheels keep on turning
Carry me home to see my kin
Singing songs about the Southland
I miss Alabamy once again
And I think it’s a sin, yes
Well I heard mister Young sing about her
Well, I heard ole Neil put her down
Well, I hope Neil Young will remember
A Southern man don't need him around anyhow
Sweet home Alabama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet Home Alabama
Lord, I'm coming home to you
In Birmingham they love the governor
Now we all did what we could do
Now Watergate does not bother me
Does your conscience bother you?
Tell the truth
Sweet home Alabama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet Home Alabama
Lord, I'm coming home to you
Here I come Alabama
Now Muscle Shoals has got the Swampers
And they've been known to pick a song or two
Lord they get me off so much
They pick me up when I'm feeling blue
Now how about you?
Sweet home Alabama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet Home Alabama
Lord, I'm coming home to you
Sweet home Alabama
Oh sweet home baby
Where the skies are so blue
And the governor's true
Sweet Home Alabama
Lordy
Lord, I'm coming home to you
Yea, yea Montgomery's got the answer
© Copyright by Duchess Music/Hustlers Inc. - BMI
All rights reserved.
To call the ice house that Chris and Buck found themselves in a dive would be offering it a compliment that it certainly did not deserve. Yet this place, simply called Jake’s, was where both men came when it was just the two of them. The Saloon was for the seven of them; Jake’s was a private place for the two oldest friends of the team.
Chris leaned on the bar, his foot planted on the bottom railing as he ordered a beer. After paying for it, he turned and leaned backwards against the bar, mimicking Buck’s posture. Both men allowed their eyes to rove over the patrons of the bar, which were mostly male of the hard living and hard drinking variety. There were a few women among them but they were of the same variety as the men. Not a pleasant crowd at all and yet somehow there was a sense of camaraderie among them as these people were regulars and knew each other well. There was a time when Chris was a regular here as well, but he had drank alone and had not had much to do with anyone else except for the few brawls that he had either started or gotten into the middle of.
“You alright?” Chris asked suddenly though his eyes never turned to Buck as he took a swig of his beer.
Buck settled back a bit more against the bar, the taller man finding it more difficult to look and feel as much at ease as Chris did. He knew exactly what Chris was asking and when he answered, his low voice held his appreciation for the question, especially considering that is was the second time that day that he had asked. “Yeah.”
Chris gave a quick nod, accepting his friend’s answer. “Good. ‘Cause otherwise I’d have to cut your lunch hour.”
Buck laughed at that, a great chuckle that ended in a wide grin as he gave Chris a nudge with his elbow and then flashed him another huge grin and a wink. “Didn’t know you cared that much,” he teased.
Chris settled himself back against the bar and hid his small smile with a shake of his head. It was a shame really that there was only one Buck Wilmington in the world. Everyone needed to have a friend like him in their lives, so that they could experience what true friendship and loyalty was all about. “Someone’s got to look after you,” he countered easily. Then after another swig of his beer he added in a much lower tone, “’Sides I still owe you.”
Buck looked around the ice house again, but this time he was not seeing it in its present form, but the way it had looked all those years ago when he had charged into Jake’s bound and determined to make Chris see that he could not give up on living. It had been a struggle and both of them were scarred by the demons they had fought off and still fought off to this day.
Buck would not be able to say what drove him over to the jukebox suddenly. Maybe it was because their playing “Gimme Three Steps” earlier had put Lynyrd Skynyrd in his head. And maybe it was because he and Chris were back here where their friendship had been tested and not found lacking. Buck just was not sure. But the one thing he did know was that both he and Chris were exactly where they belonged.
So he leaned up against the jukebox as he flipped through the selections. Amazed that he actually found what he was looking for, he put his quarters in and made his selection. When the song began to play, he saw Chris immediately turn his way with that accusatory glare in his eyes. Buck merely smiled over at him and raised his beer in a salute to his old friend. The other man smirked in response and then raised his beer as well. He understood the message that his friend was sending with that song. They had a job to do and neither would ever turn their back on that or on each other.
Buck made his way back over to the bar and again settled against it as he and Chris silently reminisced over the strange path of their friendship to the sounds of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Gimme Back My Bullets”. And Chris could not help but think that the song was truly fitting for what he often thought of as his second chance at living and making a difference. He had almost given up his bullets and his badge but never again. He had found where he belonged; with his team and family.
(Gary Rossington - Ronnie VanZant)
Life is so strange when it’s changin', yes indeed
Well I've seen the hard times and the pressures been on me
But I keep on workin' like the workin' man do
And I've got my act together, gonna walk all over you
Gimme back my bullets
Put 'em back where they belong
Ain't foolin' around, 'cause I done had my fun
Ain't gonna see no more damage done
Gimme back my bullets
Sweet talkin' people done ran me out of town
I drank enough whiskey to float a battleship around
But I'm leavin' this game one step ahead of you
And you will not hear me cry 'cause I do not sing the blues
Gimme back my bullets
Put 'em back where they belong
Ain't foolin' around, 'cause I done had my fun
Ain't gonna see no more damage done
Gimme back, gimme back my bullets
Put 'em back where they belong
Been up and down since I turned seventeen
Well I've been on top, and then it seems I lost my dream
But I got it back, I'm feelin' better everyday
Tell all them pencil pushers, better get out of my way
Gimme back my bullets
Put 'em back where they belong
Ain't foolin' around, 'cause I done had my fun
Ain't gonna see no more damage done
Gimme back, gimme back my bullets
Oh put 'em back where they belong
Gimme back my bullets
J.D. sat at his computer keyboard and continued his research on Lynyrd Skynryd. As he had been pulling up “Gimme Three Steps” for teasing Buck he had sampled a couple of their other songs. He did not have time then to read some of the information he skimmed over as he searched. But now that he was home alone with Buck out with Chris, he decided to follow up on that. He was always one who had to scratch when curiosity itched.
One of the first things he read about was the plane crash that took the lives of Ronnie Van Zant, the lead singer, and Steve Gaines, one of the guitarists. Oddly he remembered the first reference he had ever heard made to that crash was in the movie “Con Air”. J.D. remembered that the song “Sweet Home Alabama” was playing on the plane and Steve Buscemi’s character said, “Define irony: a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.” But he had not thought much more about it. It was simply a funny line in an action movie about a band that was before his time.
What he was surprised to learn was that the band had actually continued on after the crash. And as he looked through the catalogue of the albums they released after that, he found a song title that intrigued him, simply because it struck a chord with the young man who had been forced to say goodbye to his mother all too soon. He pulled up the lyrics even as he wondered what the song itself sounded like.
Mama (Afraid To Say Goodbye)
She'd wake us up early every mornin'
She'd help us say our prayers every night
She was always there to help us through the hard times
We could count on her to make everything alright
He had been an only child, but the words certainly described his mother. She was an amazing woman, unfailing and true in her love for her son. They had not had much, but she made certain the he remembered to be thankful for what they had. And for so long, they always just had each other. The hardest time of his life had been when he learned that would not always be true and he had been terribly afraid of saying goodbye to her.
I remember swingin' on the front porch
Papa said there's somethin' I need to say tonight
Mama's been sick for a long time
Let's pray to God she can make it through the night
No Papa came to tell him the news. He had simply known, even through all the long denial during her long illness, he had known. But even so, she had been the one to sit him down and make him accept the fact that she would be leaving him. For a woman so weak and ill, she had been so strong for him.
(chorus)
Mama don't wanna say goodbye
She said wipe those tears from your eyes
Mama I don't wanna say goodbye
It was written in the Heavens and the skies above
Son I gave you birth showed you all my love
I can't think of this life without you it's hard to try
Mama I'm afraid to say goodbye
J.D. found himself pushing the long bangs out of his eyes as he blinked back the tears that rose in his eyes at those words. They were no longer lyrics to a song that he had never heard but memories of the worst day of his life.
Now kids I've been hangin' on a long time
I hate to leave this world before you’re grown
Remember everything that I've taught you
Remember all the good times when I'm gone
J.D. sighed as he remembered his mother’s heartfelt regret at not being able to see the good man that she was so very certain that he would become. And always his greatest hope was that he was not letting her down in anyway. He hero-worshipped his teammates, but even deeper than that was his desire to make his mother proud.
(repeat chorus)
She whispered in my ear before she passed away
Son it's time to be a man ain't nothin' left to say
Jesus walked on water I know it's true
When it comes time he'll call you home
I hope you’re ready too
And J.D. prayed that when his time came that he was ready too. He had no intention of going to an early grave, but when he did go, he knew that his first wish would be to say hello to his mother and know that he would never have to say goodbye again.
Mama (Afraid To Say Goodbye)
(E. King, J.& D. Van Zant, Gary Rossington)
She'd wake us up early every mornin'
She'd help us say our prayers every night
She was always there to help us through the hard times
We could count on her to make everything alright
I remember swingin' on the front porch
Papa said there's somethin' I need to say tonight
Mama's been sick for a long time
Let's pray to God she can make it through the night
(chorus)
Mama don't wanna say goodbye
She said wipe those tears from your eyes
Mama I don't wanna say goodbye
It was written in the Heavens and the skies above
Son I gave you birth showed you all my love
I can't think of this life without you it's hard to try
Mama I'm afraid to say goodbye
Now kids I've been hangin' on a long time
I hate to leave this world before your grown
Remember everything that I've taught you
Remember all the good times when I'm gone
(repeat chorus)
She whispered in my ear before she passed away
Son it's time to be a man ain't nothin' left to say
Jesus walked on water I know it's true
When it comes time he'll call you home
I hope your ready too
(repeat chorus)
© Copyright by I Can't Read Music (ASCAP), WB Music Corp./L&K Music (ASCAP), Rocknocker Music Co. (ASCAP), Elk Refuge (BMI)
All rights Reserved.
Ezra slipped on his sunglasses as he strode over to his Jaguar. He was the last one to leave the office this day. And this had certainly been a most interesting day. A sly smile crept across his face as he remembered how he surprised his teammates earlier. It was always a good feeling to know that they did not know him as well as they thought they did. He was a full-fledged member of this team and would never deny that. Still, though, he did enjoy keeping his secrets or acting in a manner that they were not expecting.
As he pulled out of the garage, Ezra selected his own personal favorite Lynyrd Skynyrd song on his CD player. It reminded him of a time when he had been enough of an idealist to believe that a carefree existence was possible. But even better than that, it reminded him of a time when he had not only surprised his own mother, but had gotten the better of Maude as well. It had been a minor victory in a battle not the war and his motivation had been pure spite. But none of that could mar the memory for Ezra as he chuckled as the first guitar chords were struck for “Call Me the Breeze”. Then once the horns kicked in, he was lost in the song.
Call
me the breeze
I keep blowin' down the road
Well now they call me the breeze
I keep blowin' down the road
I ain't got me nobody
I don't carry me no load
Ain't
no change in the weather
Ain't no changes in me
Well there ain't no change in the weather
Ain't no changes in me
And I ain't hidin' from nobody
Nobody's hidin' from me
Oh, that's the way its supposed to be
As a child, Ezra could not think of anything that could possibly be better than going where he wanted and doing what he wanted. What exactly he planned on doing that would ensure such freedom he had no idea. He had never planned that far ahead. But one thing he knew for certain was that being a federal agent most definitely did not fit anywhere into that plan. But here he was and he had no plans on leaving his teammates and friends anytime soon. Giving up a bit of freedom in exchange for these loyal and true friends had been hard to do at first, but most likely was the most worthwhile thing he had ever done.
As the guitar solo ended, Ezra found himself tapping the steering wheel in rhythm with the handclapping.
Well
I got that green light baby
I got to keep movin' on
Well I got that green light baby
I got to keep movin' on
Well I might go out to California
Might go down to Georgia
I don't know
No, no more moving on for him, at least not voluntarily. He had ended up somewhere a bit in between Georgia and California, but did not plan on moving from it. One lesson he had learned from Maude was that when you found something that worked, you stuck with it until you either got bored with it or it no longer worked. Boredom was certainly not something he suffered from with his work, not with his particular teammates. And making it work was something he was determined to do for the rest of his life. He had not been searching for the family of friends that he found, but now he had no plans on losing them. Not that he would ever let them completely know that. Of course, a big part of him suspected that they truly did know it but just let him think they did not so that he could maintain his level of comfort. Ezra shook his head deciding that some things were best left unpondered.
It was then that the blistering piano solo came on and Ezra allowed himself to be lost in it and its memories. He was completely unaware of the fact that only one hand rested on the steering wheel as the other one hovered over the gearshift, pounding out on an imaginary keyboard.
How old he had been was immaterial to Ezra, though he suspected it had been his preteens or early teen years, all that mattered was that he had foiled his mother’s attempt to use him. He had no idea what possessed him to do it, just merely an act of childhood rebelliousness, he supposed. He and Maude had begun what would become their lifetime of battling. He had always been a willful child, always a challenge for Maude to deal with in conjunction with her schemes. But he was coming to a time when he wanted to assert himself and make her see him as an equal and not a tool for her to use. Maude was simply not a woman to back down from a challenge, so he knew she would never admit to it, but just the same there had been an occasion or two when he had seen a flash of pride in her eyes and it was enough for him.
But pride had not been what flashed in her eyes that day way back when. She informed him that they would be having company and strongly suggested to him that he be in the other room practicing his Mozart as it would be lovely background music for them. He wanted to go outside and enjoy the beautiful summertime weather, but Maude was insistent. She made the mistake of telling him that she wanted to impress one of the gentlemen who would be dropping by. So a very sullen Ezra dutifully begun practicing at the piano.
He had not always wanted to play piano. His fist choice had been guitar. But a horrified Maude immediately dismissed any possibility of that happening. She grabbed his hands and held them in front of his face. “Look at these hands, Ezra. These are not the hands of a common guitar player. These are the hands of a pianist.” She turned his hands over so that he looked at his palms. “Do you know what would happen to these hands if you played guitar. They would become calloused, that’s what would happen. And everything I have taught you would go to waste. So don’t you even think about it, Ezra Standish.” And with that, she dropped his hands and the subject.
He played Mozart for a little while that afternoon, imagining his mother bragging about his abilities as he did. Then, when he was quite certain that they were comfortable and enjoying their tea and conversation, he got to his feet and lit into the boogie-woogie solo from this song. A grin plastered itself across his face when he heard the crash of a teacup. But he never stopped, not even when Maude entered the room, her anger flashing only in her eyes at him as she attempted to appear to have some type of control. He ignored her and continued moving his entire body as he pounded out the infectious music. When he finally finished he was allowed to spend the rest of the day outside. Another added bonus was that she did not speak to him for days.
Well I dig you Georgia peaches
Makes me feel right at home
Well now I dig you Georgia peaches
Makes me feel right at home
But I don't love me no one woman
So I can't stay in Georgia long
Well
now they call me the breeze
I keep blowin' down the road
Well now they call me the breeze
I keep blowin' down the road
I ain't got me nobody
I don't carry me no load
Oooh Mr Breeze
Ezra sang out that last line and again played out the final piano flourish over his gearshift. He knew that if it were at all possible for anyone to see through the dark tint of his Jag, they would have found it most curious and amusing to see a well dressed man singing along to a song from an old Southern rock band. But for now he could care less what anyone thought of him as he lived that freedom that his childhood self had dreamed off. It was fleeting, but that did not mean that it could not be relished. Besides, he often enjoyed acting contrary to how people expected him to behave. Just like mercury he could be poured into a mold but he just would never hold the shape of it for very long. Ezra smiled to himself as he hit the replay button.
Call me the breeze
I keep blowin' down the road
Well now they call me the breeze
I keep blowin' down the road
I ain't got me nobody
I don't carry me no load
Ain't no change in the weather
Ain't no changes in me
Well there ain't no change in the weather
Ain't no changes in me
And I ain't hidin' from nobody
Nobody's hidin' from me
Oh, that's the way its supposed to be
Well I got that green light baby
I got to keep movin' on
Well I got that green light baby
I got to keep movin' on
Well I might go out to California
Might go down to Georgia
I don't know
Well I dig you Georgia peaches
Makes me feel right at home
Well now I dig you Georgia peaches
Makes me feel right at home
But I don't love me no one woman
So I can't stay in Georgia long
Well now they call me the breeze
I keep blowin' down the road
Well now they call me the breeze
I keep blowin' down the road
I ain't got me nobody
I don't carry me no load
Oooh Mr Breeze
© Copyright by Moss Rose Productions Inc.
All rights reserved.
If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on, now,
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Bye, bye, it’s been a sweet love.
Though this feeling I can't change.
But please don't take it badly,
'Cause Lord knows I'm to blame.
But, if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you'll never change.
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord help me, I can't change.
© Copyright 1973 by Duchess Music
All rights reserved.
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