I Really Hate to Bother You...

Author's Note: You'll notice I created my own background for Vin and Ezra for this AU. I liked the idea of a professional thief becoming part of a law enforcement agency, since he would know all the tricks of the trade, so to speak.

*I'm going to shoot her. I swear, I'm gonna shoot her. I'm gonna take the nearest gun and blow her brains out if she doesn't shut her goddamn mouth!*

Adriana Wilmington was not a violent woman. Not unless her men or her friends were threatened. She was, in fact, a rather calm and easygoing gal, much quieter than her boisterous older brother Buck. She wasn't hot tempered or impatient. Not usually. But when Team Seven received a new temporary office assistant, the woman managed to drive her absolutely insane in half the time than it usually took Will Richmond to achieve the same effect.

Her name was Petra Vickers, an American of Mediterranean background. Fifty-six years old, with two children. And she didn't stop talking from the moment Adriana arrived at her desk, two hours earlier. The archaeologist had noticed with more than a little curiosity, the looks of relief which appeared at her arrival. She soon found out why. As the only female in the office, and the one with the desk closest to Petra, she found herself under a barrage of questioning.

At the time of Petra's arrival, Adriana had only been with the ATF for six weeks. True, they were six *chaotic* weeks, but there was still so much she had to learn about ATF procedures. Her tenure here in the special ATF office created by Orrin Travis was an experiment. Orrin Travis had decided that if NASA could have an archaeologist, it might be a good idea for the ATF to have one as well.

Adriana had her evaluation coming up in two weeks, and she *really* wanted to keep her new position. She loved working with the ATF, loved the work she did as a consulting archaeologist. She did *not* want to throw away everything she had worked for over the last six weeks because of a shrill, whiny office assistant who wouldn't let her do her goddamn job! And speaking of which. . .

Adriana would have dropped her head onto her desk, but she had learned in the last two hours that ignoring Petra did NOT make her go away. She, in fact, just kept getting more and more shrill. The archaeologist looked up to find Josiah Sanchez eyeing her compassionately, and the big man mouthed, 'patience, sister.' She sighed deeply, drawing Nathan Jackson's attention, and the medic winked at her.

Drawing strength from them (since Chris and Vin were in a meeting with the head of security. Adriana didn't ask. She didn't want to know), the young woman asked, "What does it say, Petra?" And immediately winced as the woman launched into a convolute explanation of what she was doing. The woman talked more than JD and Ezra put together. And Chris hadn't shot her yet? Proof positive the man had more patience than she did.

Adriana sorted through Petra's explanation of what had confused her, then sighed. She was silent for several moments, then replied, "It means you double-check at the end of the night, to make sure the files are properly alphabetized." Once more, her eyes met Josiah's and the big man shook his head sympathetically. Adriana made a bet with herself, that she wasn't the first person who had been asked that question.

She won the bet, as Petra said, "Well, that's what the little boy said, and I didn't think that sounded right, and I wanted to make sure, 'cause you know how men are." Little boy? Oh. Did she mean JD? A quick glance toward the beet-faced computer expert told her that was exactly who Petra meant, and Adriana wasn't sure if JD was red-faced from being called a little boy or from Petra's implication that he was incompetent.

Adriana replied once she thought she could speak without choking, "JD's worked here longer than I have, Petra." And say no more. The young agent mouthed 'thank you' to her, and she just smiled. Don't thank me yet, kid. She was glad she held her tongue a moment later as her screen locked up. *Please tell me I didn't lose everything, please tell me I didn't lose everything?* She called, "JD? Does this error mean anything to you?"

She had never seen it before, and read it off carefully. The agent winced and replied, "Sorry, Adriana, it does. It means you lost whatever you were working on." That time, Adriana's forehead *did* hit the desk, and she heard Nathan, Josiah, and JD all hiss in sympathy. The archaeologist slowly raised her head from the desk, to find Ezra Standish at her elbow. Oh. Hello there. She and Ezra still weren't on the best of terms, but things were thawing after the near-disaster of the dance contest and Vin nearly dying during a bust.

The former thief extended his hand, saying, "Dr Wilmington, I shall escort you to that inappropriately named 'break room.' It appears you need some refreshment and rejuvenation." Adriana put her hand in Ezra's and allowed him to pull her to her feet. It was either leave her desk, or shoot the goddamn computer after she shot Petra. As Ezra escorted her into the break room, Adriana heard Petra gasp, 'she understands him?????' It was almost enough to make the thoroughly frustrated consulting archaeologist laugh. Almost.

Once they were in the small kitchenette which served as a break room, Adriana slumped into a chair and Ezra said, "I'll take care of the coffee and food. You should have taken your break fifteen minutes ago, Adriana." She smiled tiredly as she realized she had once again lost track of time. It was now eleven fifteen. Ezra settled a French vanilla coffee and a doughnut in front of her, the first thing she had eaten since her doctor's appointment that morning.

Actually, it wasn't her doctor's appointment. It was Tansy's. Charlotte wasn't due back from Mexico until this afternoon, and Will couldn't get away to take the little girl to the doctor, so it was up to 'Aunt Drina' to make sure the five year old was well enough to go back to school.' After she was pronounced fit, Adriana dropped Tansy off at her kindergarten class (where Will would pick her up at noon), then headed to work. She was lucky to make it at eight thirty. She hated being late, for any reason.

Now, sitting in the break room nearly three hours later, Adriana rubbed her throbbing temples and asked, "I take it the first time she asked you a question, you responded with an answer which confused her further?" She was rewarded with an impish grin and a mischievous twinkle in the green eyes. Adriana took a sip of the coffee, breathing in deeply, then asked, "Do you know why I haven't shot her yet, Ezra? Aside from my desire to keep my job?"

Ezra shook his head, and Adriana took another bite of the doughnut. JD's favorites if she remembered correctly. The archaeologist continued, "Because when she's not shooting her mouth off, she's actually pretty nice. I tried to remember that a few minutes ago when she was complaining about all the stuff she had to read to do her job. And I was thinking. . .so stop whining and read! You'll get done quicker!"

"I was amused by her question to you, in a twisted sort of way. . .what does this mean? Make sure everything is properly alphabetized. Mr Tanner made up that list, when Mr Travis asked him to put together things that would help us to do our job more efficiently. Mr Tanner uses few words than I do, and she finds that confusing?" Ezra observed. Adriana had read the list and polished it up a bit. Nothing major, she knew not everyone talked like Ezra. She just smoothed out the sentence structure.

Vin Tanner was one of the smartest men she had ever known. But when he got nervous, he had a harder time explaining himself, whether on paper or orally. And he always got nervous when he was the center of attention. Before becoming an ATF agent, Vin had been a bounty hunter and a guide for several years, that was how Adriana met him. And, because of his years on the move as a child, he never had the education most children had. That lack had been remedied over the years, but he was still a bit. . .nervous. . .about it.

Ezra said now, drawing her mind back to the current problem, "Well, by the time I return you to your desk, Mr Larabee shall be back. And I'm sure he won't tolerate her constant inquisition." It wasn't even that which bothered Adriana. She didn't mind answering questions. As long as it wasn't every five minutes, and a question which could be easily answered through logic. She understood what it was like to be the new person, and the office assistant (it was one of her many jobs in college).

But this woman was trying her patience. However, Adriana's report wouldn't finish itself, and she had to get back to work. She had to retype the report on her findings of the Phoenix dig. Travis had sent her and JD to the dig, to find out if their old friends were back in the business of smuggling guns using artifacts. JD acted as her assistant (much to that young man's chagrin), and both found some very disturbing things. Nothing concrete. . .but enough to warrant further investigation. She was supposed to have it turned over to Travis by the end of the day.

Ezra returned with her to the main office, where they found Petra in full voice, going on about their email system this time. It seemed she couldn't figure out how to forward something, even though there was an icon to the side, clearly marked 'forward.' How was she supposed to know where to send it. As Adriana settled herself at her desk, Nathan patiently explained how to use the address book contained within the database.

As he finished his explanation, he glanced at Adriana and covertly flashed her two fingers. In other words, this was the second time he had explained it to her. Adriana shook her head and turned her attention back to her computer. It was on the program she needed, and she found out how when her attention was directed to a sticky at the top of the screen. It was from JD and read, "Drina. Consider this payback for telling Miss Shrill that I *do* know what I'm talking about."

She flashed the young man a smile and began typing up the report. He had just saved her five minutes, and Adriana knew it was time she desperately needed. She was desperately behind on her work today, and it didn't look like it would get any better. *Wait a minute. Wait a goddamn minute here!* Adriana reached over to her inbox and started leafing through the files. Vin Tanner. Vin Tanner. JD Dunne. Chris Larabee. Nathan Jackson. Chris Larabee. All in her handwriting. It was her outgoing pile. In her in box.

It took her all of two seconds to figure out how that happened. Adriana rose slowly to her feet, pulling the files from her inbox, and quietly distributed them to the people they were meant for. Once she reached Vin's desk, she pulled one of his yellow stickies from the pad, and wrote "URGENT" in big red letters on the sticky. Then making a concerted effort to control her frustration, she returned to her desk.

She allowed herself a single, boiling look at a sheepish-looking Petra, then sat down at her desk and started typing her report once more. She had almost lost herself in her work, had almost started relaxing when, "Adriana? I really hate to bother you, but I can't figure this out. Does Mr Tanner want a steno pad or a sticky pad? There is a difference, you know, and I want to do it right the first time, and I can't find a sticky pad on here."

She was filling out the requisition forms. How on earth could you get confused while filling out the requisition forms, when. . .never mind. Adriana took a deep breath, then released it, answering, "Match the number on Vin's request up with the numbers on the requisition pad." That's why they were there, because some enterprising person realized that handwriting could be difficult to interpret. It was on the point of Adriana's tongue to say so, but she didn't let herself speak. There was a long silence, then an embarrassed laugh as Petra obviously found what she was looking for. It was an 'oops, silly me' laugh.

Adriana ignored it and went back to work, forcing herself to concentrate on the report, instead of throttling Petra Vickers. That wasn't to be, because only ten minutes later, Petra called, "Adriana, I really hate to bother you, but I can't figure this out. Now, this requisition form says it should be turned over to the team requisition officer, but it doesn't say who that person is. How do they expect us to turn them over to the officer, if we don't know who it is?"

Adriana rose to her feet and walked to Petra's desk. She moved Petra's picture of her grandson and pointed to the bin whose label was obscured by the picture, and said in a quiet voice, the one Vin would have recognized as her 'danger zone' voice, "You put all the requisition forms in this basket. At the end of the week, the team officer will go through them, sign them, and take them to Judge Travis."

She didn't answer the other question, because there was no need to. As Adriana returned to her desk, she caught sight of Judge Travis entering the office with Chris and Vin. She had never been so dreading the sight of one man, and so relieved by the sight of another. Judge Travis strode up to her desk, and Adriana braced herself for the reprimand she knew she was about to get for not having her report done yet.

Really, that made no sense, as the judge didn't know. . .yet. . .that it wasn't done. But Adriana was still insecure in her job, and she didn't want to give the judge *any* reason to fire her. Instead, the judge said, "After you finish your report, Dr Wilmington, I want you to take the rest of the day off. Agent Dunne told me that you didn't sleep on the plane and had to take your goddaughter to the doctor this morning. I'll need your input on a case that was just handed to us, and I need you rested."

Now that was a surprise. Adriana processed the request, making sure she heard it the first time, and heard it properly. A second run through her tired brain confirmed it. She blinked, then nodded. Judge Travis added sternly, "As for you, Ms Vickers, I heard you all the way down the hall. Dial it down. From now on, if you have a question which needs to be answered, you call me. I can't have you disrupting my agents while they're working." Adriana felt her face turn bright red. How the hell did they find out? She glanced at Chris out of the corner of her eye and he just winked at her.

Oh dear. As if that wasn't enough, Vin smirked, his blue eyes twinkling with mischief. The Texan said as he sat down at his own desk, "Reckon one a' us oughta drive her home, Judge Travis. She looks a mite tuckered out. I kin do that, Buck ain't back from givin' testimony yet." Judge Travis looked away from where he was glaring Petra into submission and gave a quick nod. Vin glanced over the two folders she put on his desk, and his eyes narrowed.

Chris, who had followed Vin to his desk, leaned over to see what had upset Vin. His green eyes narrowed and his mouth thinned. Oh. . .shit. The Larabee temper was about to go sky-high. However, his voice was calm as he said, "Orrin, you mind if Adriana finishes that report at home? She's gone above and beyond today." He held up the files which Adriana had finished the night before and placed in her out bin. Files which all of them saw in her out bin before they left. Without the yellow sticky now adorning the top, with her handwriting.

Judge Travis said, understanding at once, "Get your coat, Dr Wilmington. . .and Vin, make sure you get something for her to eat on the way home. If I know Will Richmond, the fool forgot to go grocery shopping while his wife was in Mexico." Adriana saved everything she had to a diskette, then put the diskette in her purse. She moved mechanically, unable to fully believe she was going home after less than half a day.

Then she realized what the judge said, and she laughed. Oh, he knew Will, yes, he did. As she passed Judge Travis, she mouthed, 'thank you.' He put a hand on her shoulder and whispered, "I really hate to bother you, Adriana. . .so don't come in until the day after tomorrow. The case can wait that long. And by that time, we'll have a *new* office assistant. One who doesn't need a flashlight in broad daylight to find her ass."

The crude statement from the normally dignified judge almost had Adriana on her ass, laughing, but Vin was pulling her out the door. As they left, they heard Petra wail, "I really hate to bother you, Judge, but. . ."

I Really Hate to Bother You, But. . .

By Deb