SERIES/UNIVERSE: ATF
DISCLAIMERS: M7 characters belong to Trilogy, et al. Adriana is mine ... don't mind if you borrow her, just ask first, give her back intact and give credit where credit is due. Mindy belongs to herself and my neighbors, though she still thinks my family and I belong to her.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I've borrowed characters from other shows, namely Poltergeist: The Legacy (Philip Callaghan) and MacGyver (Sam and Angus MacGyver). Cheyenne and Carys belong to the evil twin, who graciously gave me permission to use her ladies.
"Something has to be done, Judge. Because I can tell ya, if Adriana's running out of patience with her, it's only a matter of time before JD or Ezra tell her off. Neither of 'em have as much as Adriana's patience, and this bimbo's been tryin' everyone's this week," Chris Larabee told his boss, watching the rest of his team through the window of the office. Petra Vickers was still shaking in her seat.
Surely she wasn't so clueless that she hadn't figured out no one in the office could tolerate her? Vin ignored her, Ezra talked circles around her, Adriana gritted her teeth so badly, Chris thought she might need an appointment with her dentist. She and Nathan were two of the last holdouts, with Josiah as the third. And most damning of all, Buck never flirted with her. Buck flirted with every woman in the building, no matter what their age.
"I know, Chris ... I know. I've talked with the other teams, and they all say the same thing. Carys threatened to turn Petra over to an old enemy of MacGyver's, Murdoch. Cheyenne runs if she even sees Petra approaching, and the rest of Team Eight take any opportunity to leave the building," Orrin Travis answered with a sigh. He cast a sideways glance at the leader of Team Seven, adding, "And we won't discuss what Mary and Evie have to say."
Chris struggled against his smile, having a pretty good idea of what both women might have said, especially after seeing one of Mary's glares directed toward the woman whom most of his team had taken to calling 'the professional pest.' The leader of Team Seven murmured, "And after Adriana got home from work, I got a call from Charlotte Richmond. Orrin ... I don't want to ever hear me labeled as a mother hen, again. That woman can give Buck lessons in mother henning ... hell, she can give Nate lessons in mother henning."
"There's an idea ... unleash the lady Dr. Richmond on Ms. Vickers," Orrin mused. Chris really had to fight to keep from laughing. It wasn't funny. Really. It wasn't. While Larabee's initial ... grievance ... with the archaeologist had given way to a wary respect (especially after seeing her protecting her daughter during a hostage situation at a restaurant), he still felt it best to steer clear of her. The past had an ugly way of coming up, and Chris wanted to stay on civil terms with the woman who gave his sister a home. That was how they found common ground. Their shared desire to protect the family they found, after losing a previous family.
However, that also meant keeping her away from Petra Vickers. Because otherwise, the professional pest was likely to end up ... well ... exterminated. A visual of Charlotte Richmond, in the Orkin uniform and toting a tank of pesticide that was almost as big as she was, filled his mind. It was all Chris could do to keep from laughing out loud. Yup, better focus on something else, or he would have a lot of 'splainin' to do.
Still ... if he didn't have the feelings he did for Mary, and Charlotte wasn't a married woman, it wouldn't be any trouble at all to admit she looked damn cute in this particular visual, especially with her baseball cap turned backward. Right. And go no further with this line of thought. The leader of Team Seven said, valiantly turning his mind to the problem at hand, "Orrin, we want to get rid of Ms. Vickers, not kill her."
"Says who?" Orrin retorted, and that almost did in what remained of Larabee's self control. It was official. This woman would be the death of him yet. Orrin sighed, "But you're right, of course. We really don't want DPD down here with the coroner's office. And I've seen Dr. Richmond after his wife finishes chewing him out. I'm not sure if there would be much left of Ms. Vickers, if we did that. I need to talk to the other teams, but I do have an idea."
"Absolutely," Chris agreed, then added, "Besides. I really don't feel like refereeing another argument between Adriana and Miss Overprotective. I learned my lesson the hard way, when she kicked me in the balls." Orrin looked at him, and Chris added, "I mean Adriana, not Charlotte. She kicked me in the balls for trying to stop her from doing something she really wanted." He promptly regretted telling his boss that story, because Orrin's lips started to twitch.
"She kicked you in the crotch for being overprotective. She likes all manner of movies. Evie still hasn't stopped laughing about her telling Ezra ' to get off the cross, someone else needs the firewood.' Especially after she found out it came from a Dolly Parton movie. The obscene language she uses when she's really mad can make you blush, and I didn't think that was possible. The girl is full of surprises," the judge said, chuckling and shaking his head.
"Yeah, what can I tell you ... what she didn't learn from me and Buck, she learned from working in warehouses and as an office assistant, while she was working her way through college," Chris replied, rolling his eyes. He actually preferred not to think about her working in the warehouses, since Charlotte had told him about the conditions there. He missed the glint in Orrin's dark eyes when he mentioned Adriana's college jobs.
"Hold down the fort as long as you can, Chris. I have an idea." With that, the judge left the office, pausing long enough to glower Petra into submission (again). Chris frowned. Just what the hell was the judge up to? The ATF team leader retreated to his desk and tapped an extension. On the second ring, a familiar voice answered, and Chris said, "Cheyenne, you're here. Listen, I need to talk to Mac or Cari. Are either of them here?"
"Sounds like a plan to me, Judge, but is she gonna go for it?"
Orrin Travis looked at the young man who had asked the question. Sam MacGyver was the only member of the team who wasn't otherwise occupied at the moment. Even Philip Callaghan, a new priest in Denver who had made himself invaluable to the ATF, hadn't been seen recently. Although, that may have been as much due to Cheyenne finding out about an exorcism he had done in the past as anything else.
Cheyenne (who was the most ready to kill Petra) asked Philip after yet another run in with the pest if he would do the same ritual on Petra. Send her back to hell ... with or without her hand. Orrin didn't get it, not until the blushing priest later explained it to him. On the other hand, Philip's disappearance might also have to do with Petra caterwauling about how she wasn't appreciated here. Philip was a patient, compassionate young man ... he quickly found a good friend in Vin Tanner, who was very similar to him in so many ways.
But he had little patience with whining. And even less patience with whiners who didn't listen. That was one of many reasons why Orrin liked him. The judge told Sam MacGyver, "She'll go for it. I already asked her." Well, that wasn't entirely true. But Orrin was caught between a rock and a hard place, and he was just desperate enough to fudge on the truth. Not a lot. Just a little. He hoped.
"In that case, sure. She's a lot more organized ... although, where she got that, I don't know. Dad says that she's as disorganized with her personal life as she is organized with her professional life," Sam replied. Orrin just glared at the young m an. He didn't need a character reference, dammit, he wanted to know if Team Eight worked well enough with Adriana to justify asking her to take over as office assistant until a new one could be found!
Sam added hastily, perhaps seeing Orrin's exasperation, "But she's cool. Doesn't complain ... well, she vents sometimes. Gets frustrated when she runs out of work. I think she takes the stuff she does upon herself, sometimes, just to give herself work to do. But ... don't you think that asking her to be a glorified office assistant, when she's a trained archaeologist, is kinda insulting? I mean, she went to college for four years, she has her Master's and PhD ... "
"So does your stepmother, but that doesn't prevent her from taking up the duties of an office assistant when need be," Orrin retorted. Sam swung his head from side to side, reminding Orrin of the young man's father when he was acknowledging a point he really didn't want to. Obviously, Sam had a slight problem with Cari stepping in as office assistant. Orrin would find out what that problem was. Later.
His next stop was Cheyenne, who had just returned and gotten off the phone with someone. All he said ... all he had to say ... was, "I think I've come up with a solution to Petra Vickers." That was all she heard, all she needed to hear. She didn't care who he got to replace the office assistant from hell, as long as that bimbo was gone with the wind. Orrin continued on his way, next to Rafael Martinez. However, he was at the courthouse, testifying in a trial. While Rafael wasn't as friendly with Adriana as Chris and Vin were, he didn't avoid her in the halls, either. That was another vote.
Come to think of it, that applied to Mac and Cari as well. Good enough. With an almost malevolent grin, Orrin left Team Eight's office and returned to his own, preparing to make the phone call which would bring the nightmare his two teams had been facing to a close. But as he did, he wondered a bit regretfully if maybe he shouldn't have backup here in the form of Charlotte Richmond. Ahhh ... no. That would be a bloody mess. Literally.
Being an office assistant to Team Seven (and Eight) could be a thankless job. Nathan Jackson knew that, as the medic of the team. But, as Casey Welles observed once, with most of the team, it was like gigo. Garbage in, garbage out. Well, actually, Nathan thought it was true of the entire team. Chris had his moods and the devil's own temper, but he could be extraordinarily gentle at the same time.
Ezra ... hell, you never knew what Ezra was gonna do next. Nathan stopped trying, it gave him a headache. The man couldn't stay away from damsels in distress, but seemed to choose his fights where women were concerned. He took unholy glee in driving Petra Vickers absolutely insane (short trip, Nathan acknowledged), but continued to advance his tentative truce with Adriana (which was nice ... Nathan hated being caught between feuding coworkers. It, not to put too fine a point on it, sucked).
Vin's past was murky, but Nathan had no doubt he was a good man. No ... doubt didn't enter in the picture at all. He was a good man. He lived by very simple rules. If you were one of his, he would move heaven, hell, and earth for you. If you harmed one of his, there was no place you could hide from him. If you fell in the middle, Vin would quietly pull back until he had a better picture of what was going on.
JD was an exasperating combination of boy and man. He didn't think things through before he did or said things. But he had a good heart, and started at a good place. Besides, judging the way things were heading with Casey, Nathan thought it was a pretty good bet JD would turn out. The young man was ferocious when protecting one of the Seven. He was most ferocious where Chris, Buck, and Vin were concerned.
And then there was Josiah. He and Buck were another two always in the middle of a fight when it involved the care or the safety of a woman. (Come to think of it, so was Vin ... he was just a helluva lot quieter about it). Josiah was an interesting combination of a tender heart and brute force. He was, as he once reminded Nathan, quite capable of breaking Nathan's back. Something which Nate readily acknowledged.
And finally, there was Buck. To understand the impact Petra Vickers had on Team Seven (Nate couldn't speak for Team Eight), you only had to look at Buck Wilmington. Buck and JD were usually the ones who lightened spirits, with help from Ezra (though JD regarded the former thief with some wariness). But Buck had been busy controlling his own desire to ... now, how was it that Buck put it? Oh yeah ... choke the living shit out of Petra Vickers.
Nathan's thoughts were interrupted as Judge Travis entered the office. Instantly, Chris was out of his office, and Judge Travis said, "Chris, why don't you take your team out to lunch? Take an hour, put it on my tab. No, Mr. Standish, I am not giving you access to the company credit card." Everyone laughed, and Nathan looked around the room, wondering if he was the only one sensing something.
He wasn't. Judge Travis never suggested an hour lunch ... he didn't say no, necessarily, when they asked for it. But this was the first time he suggested it ... and the first time he effectively bought them lunch. And the positively evil grin which Chris was now wearing confirmed this. The leader wove his way over to Adriana's desk, pulling back her chair and physically lifting her away from the desk.
Hijinks were definitely in the air. Vin joined his best friend, his bright blue eyes twinkling with laughter, even though his shrug told Nathan he had no clue what was going on. Adriana squirmed, then yelped when Vin took her ankles. Chris laughed, "C'mon, little princess, you're gettin' a decent lunch, instead of taking crackers to your desk and almost passing out in your dinner. Vin, make sure you've got a good hold on her ankles, I don't want her kicking you."
The small woman continued to struggle, though not very hard ... she was laughing almost hysterically. Vin winked at Chris, glanced over his shoulder, then looked back at the leader with a smirk. It took Chris a moment to catch on, then he smiled. Vin dropped Adriana's legs, then Chris spun her in his arms, before throwing her over his shoulder. She actually squeaked this time, especially after Chris slapped her behind. It was a good thing she was his sister, more or less, or he could have been facing a sexual harassment charge.
Nathan followed the others out the door, the tension seeming to ease immediately. He heard Chris quietly explaining that Judge Travis wanted Adriana to take over as office assistant, at least until Casey Welles could be trained to take over for her. The archaeologist had stopped giggling long enough to agree to this ... hell, she ended up doing it half the time anyhow, just to keep her sanity!
Nathan turned as he reached the door. Judge Travis was still watching them, his back turned to Petra, and he smiled at Nathan. Then the smile turned predatory, and Nathan hastily followed the rest of his teammates. The medic was no coward ... but he was gettin' out while the getting was good!
The End
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