Six men stood in a circle, staring down at their boss, who, having foolishly assumed that it was safe to relax in the sun next to his pool, was asleep. He had not counted on his friends being on their way over to invade his home, ride his horses, eat his food, put their feet on his table and watch his television. Again.
And now they had him in a position of vulnerability.
"We'd have to be stupid to pass up this opportunity," murmured Vin.
"But what to do, what to do?" Buck asked, thoughtfully pulling on his mustache.
Vin grinned evilly. "I'll be right back."
The others waiting patiently, not speaking for fear of waking Chris. Vin returned within two minutes.
"I've been keeping this handy for a situation just like this." Vin waved a box, a mischievous grin on his face.
Ezra raised a well-groomed eyebrow. "And what, pray tell, is that?"
Vin glanced at Chris to make sure he was still happily asleep, before leaning forward to confide in a conspiratorial whisper, "Hair dye."
"Hair dye?"
"Blue hair dye."
There was a brief, interested silence before JD spoke. "Uh, if we dye Chris's hair blue, he will kill us. No question about it."
Vin bit his lip. "But... but... but I want to!"
There was another pause, this one thoughtful. "We... could be gone before he looks in a mirror," ventured Buck, who also wanted to.
"And his wrath would doubtless subside by Monday. It would be easy to avoid him until then," put in Ezra, who wanted to more than anyone.
They looked at each other.
"I'll get some water." JD dashed off toward the house.
"Careful! Shhh! Don't wake him!"
Nathan, with his gentle medic-type hands, was carefully rubbing the dye into Chris's wet hair, marvelling at the fact that he hadn't woken up yet.
"Okay. Can't leave it for as long as we're supposed to, so... rinse."
Josiah picked up the jug of water they had placed nearby and rinsed, concentrating intensely, tongue sticking slightly out of his mouth.
"Mumble mumble mumble," went Chris, making waking-up movements.
"Oh, shit!" The men scrambled to clean up the mess they'd made before the fury of their leader could descend upon them.
Nathan had just pushed the box under a nearby towel when Chris opened his eyes.
"What're you guys doing here?" he asked groggily, sitting up. "And... why is my hair wet?"
Ezra thought quickly. "We brought a jug of water to drink and we spilled it."
JD snorted with laughter then tried to turn it into a cough. Chris shot him a suspicious look, but let it pass. He felt a bit uneasy about having been asleep in the presence of his team... but he was almost sure he could trust them.
"Right. Why are you here?" Chris repeated, struggling to his feet.
"We were hoping we could invade your home, eat your food and watch your television," Ezra explained.
"Ah." Chris accepted that easily - they did it every weekend; he should have expected them. Still... there was something about the way they were staring at the top of his head, trying to suppress sniggers, that he didn't quite trust.
Using his well-trained cop brain, Chris examined his surroundings for clues to his friends' behaviour, and noticed an odd blue puddle right where his head had been. He narrowed his eyes, raising them to gaze at Vin.
"Something you wanna tell me, cowboy?"
Vin chuckled nervously. "What? Me? No. No. Uh, no. Why?"
"Oh... no reason. That's an odd puddle, is all."
Swallowing, Vin managed to tear his eyes away from Chris not-very-happy face, looked at the puddle, and was unable to stop himself from taking a guilty step backward. Unfortunately, there was nothing behind him for him to step on to, and with a horrified "Yaaaaah!" he fell headfirst into the pool.
The rest of the team finally had a valid reason for showing their mirth, and happily fell about laughing incredibly hard.
"Shut up and help me out of here!" Vin snapped, floundering wetly.
Of all his friends, only Buck was not doubled over in laughter, and that was only because he was flat out on the ground, rolling around helplessly.
Finally, Josiah pulled himself together enough to offer a hand to Vin.
"It wasn't that funny," he sulked, shucking out of his wet shirt and stripping off his jeans, leaving him shivering in only his Cupid boxers.
Chris, chuckling softly, picked up his towel and threw it to Vin; carefully pretending he hadn't noticed the empty hair-dye container that Nathan had hidden underneath it.
The others noticed, however, and suddenly their situation was completely devoid of any humour whatsoever.
"I apologize, Mr. Larabee, but I will be unable to join you in your television-watching, as I have a pressing appointment with, um, with my dry cleaner. I really must talk to him about what he did to that suit of mine." Ezra laughed nervously and began backing away, seemingly unable to tear his eyes away from the box.
"I can't stay either, buddy," Buck said, a fake grin plastered on his face. "Got a date."
"Um, yeah, promised Nettie I'd, I'd, come visit..." Vin picked up his wet clothes and tried to make an escape.
Everyone stopped dead when Chris uttered a single word.
"Freeze."
They froze, staring at their boss, obviously terrified.
Chris was staring contemplatively at his reflection in his swimming pool, absently running a hand through his hair. After a long, long pause, during which no one moved a muscle, he turned. His gaze was one of fury; his demeanour promised vengeance, quickly and violently delivered.
"I am going to fetch my gun," Chris said calmly. "And then I am going to kill you all."
The team gaped at him, gaped at each other, gaped at him again.
And then, in an unspoken agreement, a unanimous decision based on survival; they turned tail and ran.
The End
Feedback to Author