"All right, everybody in the Ram," Buck Wilmington announced, laughing at the antics of his very inebriated friends trying to stay upright as they exited the door of The Saloon. Seeing that the others were getting smashed, he had switched to nonalcoholic drinks hours before. Waiving goodbye to Inez before he shut the door, Buck took a deep breath before tackling the task in front of him.
"I'm fine," Mary Travis exclaimed, pulling away from Vin Tanner and Josiah Sanchez who were trying to help her into the pickup. "I can do it," she slurred, taking a few steps away from the open door. "All I've got to do is put this foot...," Mary paused in her speech to concentrate on putting her foot onto the side of the truck and hooking her toes under the lip. Once she accomplished that, she grinned at the men watching her and added, "and then I ppuuullllll," trying to lift herself into the bed as she said the word. Unfortunately, the leg on the ground had other plans as it decided that it no longer wanted to hold her upright. The result was that she ended up holding herself off the ground along the side of the pickup, dangling by one foot and one hand.
"Mary?" Josiah said, staggering over to her and tapping the younger woman on the side.
Thumping the older man, Vin admonished him. "Don't you know it ain't polite to talk to a person's back? Iffin' you're gonna talk to her you gotta go to the other side," the long haired man said, pushing the larger man around the back of the truck. Reaching the other side, both men leaned down and looked under it and grinned at the woman dangling on the other side.
"Mary," Josiah started again, "You ain't in the truck."
Giggling, Mary grinned back at the men looking at her. "Oops," she said before letting go and landing on the ground. Still giggling, she rolled on her back to look up at the faces looming over her. Seeing them, she burst out laughing. "You guys look like those giant balloons in the Thanksgiving parade... bobbing and weaving in the wind, " she gasped out between laughs and waiving her arms in the air.
"Okay, we're big balloons," Buck said, before he bent down to pick up his blonde friend. Standing upright, Mary moved again towards the side of the pickup. Attempts to herd her to the passenger cab met with resistance.
ł"o... wanna ride in the back," she insisted, once again trying to pull herself into the bed. This time, however, she was trying to jump up and flip in. Not having much luck, she motioned for help.
Giving her a shove up, Buck looked down into the bed at the sound of "oof" that followed her entry.
Grinning, Buck watched as Mary tried to untangle herself from the form she had landed on... Chris Larabee.
Sliding between Chris and the side of the truck, Mary rolled over so that she was facing Chris. "Hi Cowboy," she grinned at him. "Wondered where you went."
"Hi yourself," he drawled, sitting up and shifting to lean against the cab before patting the truck bed to indicate she should move next to him.
Crawling up there, she captured Chris' lips for a passionate kiss before sliding down to watch as the others tried to get in.
JD Dunne was anticipating trouble of his own. He had to convince Ezra Standish to give him the keys to the Jag. "Hey Ez, why don't you let me keep your keys for ya until you are feeling better."
Turning to look at the youngster to his side speaking to him, the glib southerner tottered a step sideways at the movement. Looking down at the keys in his hand as if he had no idea what they were, let alone how they had gotten there, Ezra looked over imaginary glasses at JD. "Jay... Jay... Jay...," he began several times forgetting what came after the first initial. Frowning in concentration he finally gave up and waived his hand in the air as if to brush the offending letters away. "My good man, I am feeling perfectly...," he trailed off.
"Drunk?" JD offered.
Grinning and pointing at the youngster, Ezra nodded his agreement. "Drunk."
Chuckling, JD stepped closer with his hand held out. "So, you gonna let me hold them?" he tried again.
Looking big eyed at the hand in front of him and again at the keys dangling in his own, he gently placed them in the younger man's hand. Doing so, he slapped his hand on JD's shoulder and leaned closer to him. "You wanna know something?" he asked, lowering his voice and looking around to make sure no one was close enough to overhear.
Wincing at the 150 proof breath that was being blown at this face, JD humored his friend. "What?" he asked in a conspiratorial voice back.
"I love that car," Ezra announced quietly, emphasizing each word with a finger in JD's chest.
"I'll take real good care of it," JD assured him, slowly turning the southerner towards the trunk to face the next obstacle. "Now, how about getting in the truck?"
Casey Wells had seen the guys drunk before. However, she had never had to try to get them to do something in this state. "Vin, Josiah, you need to get in the truck," she called out to the retreating forms who had spotted something in the middle of the parking lot they thought they needed to investigate. Running to catch up with the long legged men, she managed to plant herself in their path. "It's time to go," she tried again a little breathlessly.
"Casey," Vin exclaimed, as if this was the first time he had seen her tonight. "How ya' doin' girl?"
Turning to his cohort in crime, he pointed at the young woman. "She and JD are gonna be next," he announced confidently.
Shaking his head, Josiah reared back. "Naw, they're too young. Rain and Nathan," he countered.
A little embarrassed, she laughed halfheartedly. "No one is going to do anything if we don't get in the truck," she conjoled, pointing past the men at the vehicle.
Looking at Casey and then back at the black Dodge truck behind them, the duo suddenly began grinning. Seeing the change come upon the men's countenance, Casey held up her hands and began to walk backwards. "Oh no, it's you two that need to get in there," she stressed.
Lunging at the youngster, Vin got a hold of her arms first. Containing the struggling girl, he waited until Josiah got a hold of her feet. "Let's do it," he announced, beginning back across the parking lot with Casey hammocked between them.
"Guys. Vin, Josiah, put me down," Casey pleaded, knowing it was useless even while she was doing it. Sighing, she consoled herself that at least they were going back to the vehicle.
It was a traffic jam, pure and simple. Two well meaning friends were trying to get three very inebriated men into the back of a pickup at the same time. Unfortunately, the tipsy trio did not want to cooperate. They were having a good time right where they were and saw no reason to leave.
"And then the three-legged dog said," Vin choked out, tears of laughter streaming down his face. Bending over to slap his own knee as another gale escaped him, he flung himself back and threw his arms around Josiah's and Ezra's shoulders before gasping out the punch line. "He said... I'm looking... for the man... who shot my paw!"
Watching as the nearly hysterical trio reeled unsteadily a few steps away from them, JD turned a deadpan look to Buck. "How come they didn't laugh like that when I told that joke?"
"I told ya son, you gotta work on your delivery," Buck said, devilment in his voice. Turning amused eyes away from his roommate, Buck sobered immediately. "No! Get down from there!" he shouted heading towards the side of the building where Vin and Josiah were trying to lift Ezra to the first rung of the fire escape.
Blowing out a relieved breath, Casey shut the passenger door of the trunk and slumped against it. As JD approached her, she threw a thumb over her shoulder at the form of Nathan Jackson sitting in the passenger seat. "Another one down," she breathed heavily, pushing the stray strands of hair from her face. It hadn't sounded like an Olympic event when Buck asked her and JD to help him get the rest of them home. But from the amount of energy it was taking, it should be.
Before JD could comment back, the loud squawk of an untuned radio emitted from inside of the truck. Wincing, JD and Casey both jumped for the door, only to find it locked. "Nathan," JD called through the glass, "turn that down."
Waving off the younger man, Nathan continued to mess with the scan button looking for some music to listen to. Hearing his radio being messed with, Chris struggled upright in the back of the truck to pound on the window in the back. When that got him no attention, he leaned over the side of the cargo bay and began rapping on the door glass.
"Hey!" the black clad man growled, but before he could say anything else, he was distracted by someone pulling on the pocket of his jeans. Struggling back up, he found Mary grinning and wiggling a finger at him.
"Let's dance," she said, reaching out and snagging his waistband to pull him closer. Mary threw her head back and laughed at the leer that crossed his face at her suggestion.
"Any pa'tic'lar dance ya have in mind," he asked suggestively, wrapping his arms around her.
"Well now, that depends on the music," she teased back.
Catching her lips, he ravaged them with his own while grabbing her butt and ramming her body against his groin. Finally pulling his mouth from hers slowly, nibbling on her lower lip as he did so, Chris turned his head and bellowed to Nathan, "Find us somethin' ssslooowww."
Helping Buck herd the three men back towards the pickup, JD was confounded. "I donąt know where he got a key to turn on the radio!" he said hurriedly, just hoping no one called the cops on them. If they did, they were gonna have a helluva time explaining the dance Mary and Chris were doin' in the back of the pickup. Just when he didn't think it could get any worse, it did.
On the radio came the unmistakable strains of "Do-Wah-Diddy-Diddy." By the time the lyrics started, Vin, Ezra, and Josiah were ready to begin singing...at the top of their off-key lungs.
"There she was just walkin' down the street," the trio crooned, Josiah's baritone nearly drowning out the two tenors. "Do-wah diddy....down did do," they continued, losing what little synchronization and accuracy they had going, but bolstered by the liquor and the looks of encouragement they were giving each other.
"Poppin' my fingers..."
"Her fingers," Buck threw back to correct the mis-sung lyrics.
"....and snobbin' her feet..."
"Stompin'" he tried again.
"...Do what did ya done did ya do..."
Throwing up his hands, Buck shook his head. "You guys weren't even close on that one."
"Crimanee Buck, don't encourage them," Casey chided as the group came to a halt at the back of the truck.
Slurring through the next round, the trio bobbed their heads in time with the beat until they got to the next lines they knew. "...I'm mine, she's yours, and I'm gonna win a dime..." they threw out emphasizing each word with a slap on the open truck gate. This in turn drew the attention of the couple dancing in the back, who proceeded to stagger toward the singers and reach out to them.
"Come on," Chris slurred, pulling on Vin's shirt. "Wanna go home. Gotta work tomorrow."
Shoving the last of the revelers into the truck and slamming the tailgate, Buck shook his head and grinned at JD and Casey. "The only thing these guys are gonna be workin' on tomorrow is their headache," Wilmington chuckled throwing his thumb over his shoulder.
Rolling over and immediately wishing he hadn't, Chris Larabee tried to ignore the pounding head and nauseous stomach to piece together the last few hours of the previous evening. The last thing he remembered was being at Inez' and throwing a dart game against Vin. Laying in the muted light, he had a vague impression of a challenge from another group in the bar and then of sitting in the back of the pickup singing. Struggling upright, he threw the covers aside, his hand coming into contact with the body beside him.
"Ooooohhhh God," Mary moaned, pulling the pillow that had been over her head off of it. "What time is it?"
Squinting at the numbers on the clock, Larabee finally forced them to focus. "Eleven," he said, rubbing his eyes from the strain. He hadn't felt like this in a long time. And if he had any sense, it would be a long time before the next time.
Finally making it to his feet, Chris paused to let the waves of dizziness pass before he tried moving. When he thought he had waited long enough, he began shuffling to the bathroom. He had only taken a few steps when another moan from behind him caused him to pause.
"If you make that sound again, I'm going to get your gun and shoot you," Mary hissed, having made it to her back, one arm over her eyes.
"What sound?" Chris queried, confused as he hadn't made any unusual noises.
"Walking, breathing, anything," Mary clarified.
Snorting, Chris ignored her and continued to the bathroom. Popping three aspirin after brushing his teeth, he stopped at the bed to deliver aspirin to Mary before heading to put on some coffee. Easing the bedroom door back shut, he stopped in the doorway of the living room and assessed the carnage before him
In place of Mary's normally ordered living room, there was the chaos wrought by five makeshift beds, four of which were still occupied. Stepping over Josiah and around Nathan sprawled on the floor, Chris deduced the lump on the couch had to be Ezra. Walking passed Vin, he vaguely wondered how the younger man could sleep draped over the arms of the chair like that. Dismissing the thought, the smell of coffee drew him towards the kitchen. Walking into it, he wished he had a gun to shoot the sober man sitting at the table pretending to read the paper.
"Shut up Buck," Chris snarled, yanking a coffee cup from the cupboard and filling it.
Holding up his hands, Buck grinned. "I didn't say a word."
Grunting his response, Chris took several swigs of coffee. "Where's JD?" he finally asked as the aspirin and caffeine began to work their respective magic.
"Office," Buck said, folding up the sports section "He's called three times to see if any of ya had woke up yet."
"Why?" Chris queried, concerned that something major had happened on one of their cases.
Surmising Chris' thoughts and waiving them away, Buck was barely able to contain the grin that wanted to plaster itself on his face. "He wants to know if you remember what happened on the way home."
Frowning, Chris tried to think what Wilmington could be referring to. When nothing came to mind, he spread his arms expectantly and gave Buck a "well?" look.
"The police car that stopped us?" Buck threw out, trying to jog his friend's memory.
"Police car?" Chris said, rubbing his forehead as if trying to force the memory out of his mind.
"The two officers who wanted to see your ID?" Buck tried again.
Confused, Chris shook his head.
"And you told them to go to hell..."
Moaning, Chris covered his eyes. Something about this was ringing some very bad bells in his mind.
"...at which one of them popped off some smart ass comment about feds..."
Shaking his head, Chris didnąt think he wanted to hear the rest of this.
"...at which Mary threw herself out of the truck at them..."
"Damn," Chris breathed.
"...knocking them to the ground and setting off their body alarms..."
"Shit."
"... which brought about the whole precinct down on us," Buck paused, seeing the hand being held up at him.
"Just tell me no one pulled a gun or got hurt," Chris said, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling in resignation and wondering how the hell he was going to explain this incident.
"None of us anyway," Buck assured him, eliciting an even stronger explicative from his boss.
Seeing the desolate look on his friend's face, Buck had to laugh. Laughing again at the glare he received, Wilmington continued. "The chief of police called the boss who called here earlier. The DA agreed to not press any charges given the circumstances and the fact that the injuries were minor." Seeing relief flood through his friend, Buck held up his hand. "On the condition, however, that we make a formal apology to the officers."
Nodding once, Chris pinned the still smiling Buck with a hard stare. "What else?"
Standing up, Buck moved to pour himself another cup of coffee. Waiting until he was back in his chair, he finally continued. "And you have to agree to not hold your wedding party in town." Letting a full smile erupt on his face, Buck eased back in his chair. "I tell ya Chris, if your engagement party was this much fun, I can't wait for the wedding."
Finis
Feedback to Author