Statistics
I wanted to give the guys at least one vacation without any damage. <G> Almost made it.
No warnings, no claim on the guys. Making no money, just borrowing, will return patched up and ready for the next time.
Feedback is greatly appreciated.
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Jim Ellison limped into the bullpen followed by his partner, Blair Sandburg who held a bandaged wrist close to his body. They greeted people cordially enough as they made their way across the room to their desks, trying to ignore the stares.
Henri Brown was the first soul brave enough to ask the question.
“So,” H said casually, resting one hip on Ellison’s desk. “What happened this weekend? Weren’t you two taking Simon to that new fishing spot?”
Blair lifted his gaze to meet Brown’s. “Yeah. We did. Had a great time, you won’t believe the size of some of the fish we caught, man,” he said with a relaxed grin.
“Uh huh,” H responded. “Right. So what’s with the wrist and Jim’s limp?”
“It’s not what you think H,” Ellison replied. “We really did have an uneventful trip.”
“We did!” Blair insisted at Henri’s exaggerated eye roll. “We picked Simon up from his place Friday afternoon….”
*************
Friday afternoon
“Shake a leg, Simon,” Jim said, glancing at his watch again. He wanted to get on the I5 before rush hour traffic. They’d all taken off early for that sole purpose and now it looked like they’d lose their advantage.
“Hold your horses, Jim,” Simon Banks huffed as he came down the stairs to the living room. “We have plenty of time.”
Blair grinned and took one of Simon’s bags. “One of these days I’ll get him to just go on vacation and wing it, instead of planning every move down to the millisecond.”
Simon and Blair chuckled at the Sentinel’s expense as Jim shook his head and grabbed Simon’s other bag. “Laugh all you want, but I don’t want to hear any complaints when we’re stuck in stop and go traffic because you two dallied around too long.”
Blair and Simon looked at each other and said “Oo! Dallied,” at the same time with little finger wiggles, and then cracked up laughing. Jim just rolled his eyes as he tossed the bag into the back of the truck. Simon and Blair chuckled as they finished loading the rental and climbed in, ignoring Jim’s pointed glares. Finally they were on the road and heading for a weekend of fun and fishing.
“Just relax, man,” Blair said, leaning forward to rest his arms on the center console. “The weather is supposed to be beautiful, the fishing fine and the company good. Well mostly,” he added with a teasing grin. “Unless you were planning on doing some night fishing, we don’t have to be there at a certain time, you know.”
Jim sighed. “I know Chief. I guess I’m just a little nervous. We never seem to be able to have a quiet weekend.”
“Enough!” Simon said sharply. “I don’t want to hear a single negative word out of anyone. We are going to have fun without any poachers, kidnappings, fire fights, or natural disasters. The only thing we have to worry about this weekend is how we are going to transport all the fish we catch. Got it?” He glared at Jim then Blair.
“Got it!” Blair replied cheerfully, with a mock salute.
“Yes, Sir!” Jim snapped out smartly, allowing a grin to touch one corner of his mouth.
“Good,” Simon said with a nod.
“Now that that’s settled,” Blair said, leaning forward to turn on the radio. “How about some music?”
Jim slapped his hand.
“Back off, Sandburg,” Simon growled at the same time. “We’re not listening to any jungle music.”
“Oh, come on, Simon,” Blair wheedled. “We have some similar tastes in music. You like Angie Ferris, right?”
Simon grunted a reluctant affirmative.
“And I know Jim likes Angie Ferris,” Blair said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
“Enough already, Junior,” Jim said, planting his right hand on Blair’s forehead and pushing him back into the back seat. “We’ll take care of the music. You just sit back and listen, okay?”
“Okay, okay,” Blair said with a grin. “Have it your way.”
*********
Saturday morning
“Up and at ‘em, sleepy heads,” Blair called out as he set breakfast on the table.
Simon and Jim stumbled out of their rooms still wearing their sleep clothes. They stared at Sandburg then exchanged a confused glance.
Jim turned back to Blair first. “All right, who are you and what have you done to my partner?”
Blair chuckled and poured the orange juice. “I just thought you might appreciate not having to make breakfast this morning,” he said, continuing with a teasing tone, “but if you’d prefer to make your own…” Blair set the orange juice down and grabbed two of the plates off the table.
“No! No, Sandburg,” Simon said hastily as he slid into the nearest chair and rescued one of the plates from Blair’s hands. “It looks delicious and I really appreciate your effort.” He stopped talking to taste a bite and closed his eyes to savor the flavor.
“Well, Jim?” Blair asked with a grin.
Ellison pretended to think about it for a moment then took the other plate and sat down. “What he said,” Jim replied with a big grin of his own.
~~~~
They finished breakfast, cleaned up and got ready to head out to the lake. As they opened the front door and stepped out, a loud rumble of thunder sounded across the sky.
“I thought you said the weather was supposed to be clear all weekend?” Simon asked, sending a glare at Jim.
“That’s what the weatherman said,” Jim replied, staring off in the direction of the dark clouds. He smiled after a moment. “We’re okay. The wind is blowing it away from us. We probably won’t even get a sprinkle.”
~~~~
Later that afternoon
“Sandburg, sit down, you’re going to tip the boat over,” Simon exclaimed, clamping his teeth down on his cigar as his arms shot out to catch either side of the small boat for balance.
“I was just trying to net that fish. Blame Jim,” Blair said a bit disgruntled. “Don’t you think you could call me by my first name when we’re off duty, Simon?”
Banks rolled his eyes and took a puff on his stogie. “Jim calls you Sandburg all the time.”
Blair’s eyes narrowed. “He also calls me Chief, Darwin, Einstein and numerous other nick names. What’s wrong with calling me Blair?”
Simon looked to Jim for help, but the detective simply grinned and worked on setting his line for the next cast. Simon sighed.
“Well, Simon?” Blair pushed.
“I don’t know Blair,” Simon admitted. He chuckled a bit self consciously. “It’s kind of hard to yell ‘Blair’ with anything resembling aggravation. And forget trying to intimidate you by growling ‘Blair’ in your face.
A slow grin spread over Blair’s face and he began to laugh. Simon and Jim shrugged and couldn’t help but join in. Finally they all got themselves under control and went back to fishing.
“You realize,” Blair said slyly, “that you’ve totally ruined your intimidation factor with me now, don’t you?” he asked with a quick glance at Simon.
Simon snorted. “Like I ever really had a chance anyway. But I’ve got to keep my image with the rest of the department, Sandburg,” he said growling the kid’s name, “So please at least act like it’s effective.”
“Sure thing Simon,” Blair said standing carefully as he reached for the cooler.
“What are you doing, Sandburg?” Jim asked as the boat rocked.
“I’m just getting a drink,” Blair replied.
“Sit down!” Simon commanded trying to steady the boat. “I’ll get it for you.”
“S’okay, man. Chill out,” Blair assured and he opened the cooler and pulled out a bottle. He raised it in the air and started to step back over the wooden bench to sit down. “See, no sweat,” Blair said as his foot hit the edge of the bench and slipped heavily to the bottom of the boat. Blair lost his balance and started to swing his arms to compensate.
“Sandburg!” Simon and Jim yelled in unison as the little row boat bucked and then tipped sending them all into the water.
******
H and Rafe were leaning on each other laughing like hyenas.
Joel just shook his head and grinned. “So you all took a dip in the lake, but no injuries?” he asked suspiciously.
“Not even a scratch,” Jim said.
“So how did you get hurt?” Megan asked resting one hip against Jim’s desk.
“I know,” H interrupted, “had to be poachers.”
“Or drug dealers,” Rafe added with a wise nod.
“Could have been kidnappers,” Joel chimed in.
“Honestly, guys,” Blair inserted, “we didn’t run across any bad guys all weekend.”
“Well,” Jim drawled, “that’s not entirely true Chief.”
Blair rolled his eyes. “I don’t think that counts Jim.”
“Come on,” Megan insisted, “give us the good oil.”
“All right, all right, it was Sunday afternoon and we were heading back to Cascade…”
******
Sunday afternoon
“What’s with all this traffic?” Simon groused. This road was not usually very busy even during rush hour.
“Don’t know,” Jim mumbled as he craned his neck to try and see beyond the cars ahead of them.
They had crawled to a stop behind about ten other vehicles on the two lane road.
“Well, this is ridiculous,” Blair said. He reached across Simon and opened the door then proceeded to crawl out over Simon’s lap.
“Sandburg!” Simon protested. He glanced at Jim then sighed heavily. Jim was chuckling helplessly. “Blair, what are you doing?” Simon asked.
Blair had climbed into the bed of the truck and was using a pair of binoculars to see what was causing the hold up. His laughter floated down to his friends in cab of the truck.
“What’s up Chief?” Jim asked hopping out of the truck and joining Blair topside. He focused his Sentinel sight down the road then snorted and shook his head.
Simon grabbed the binoculars from Blair and took a look for himself. “Protestors? What the hell good is protesting out in the middle of nowhere gonna do them?” he exclaimed.
*******
“Protestors?” Rafe asked. “What were they protesting?”
“Some developer was trying to buy up land in the area and build a subdivision,” Blair replied. “It’s one of the last refuges for several endangered species…”
Jim interrupted. “Not to mention the fact that the whole area is subject to flash flooding, mud slides and rock falls. It is not a safe place to build homes.”
“I thought you said you ran into some criminals,” H said trying to dig out the truth.
“Well,” Jim said with a shrug, “they were obstructing traffic.”
“Then how did you get hurt?” Joel asked.
Jim and Blair shared a sheepish glance then turned to face their audience.
“It was an accident,” Blair said.
*****
Sunday evening
“I’ll get the last load Jim,” Blair said as he headed back out into the hallway and down the stairs. The elevator was working, but Blair just wanted to get everything unloaded and cleaned up so they could enjoy the last few hours of the weekend.
He made it down to the truck and grabbed the two bags of trash they’d hauled out and their fishing poles. Blair went to the alley and dumped the garbage then started up the stairs whistling.
As he rounded the last corner he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Blair moved to the right to make room for the oncoming traffic, but failed to realize that the tips of the fishing rods were poking out past the end of the wall. He continued up the stairs only to be pushed suddenly back and sideways by something putting pressure on the rods.
Blair had a split second to recognize Jim as the other man seemed to lunge forward and crashed into Blair. They both fell against the wall trying to catch their balance and each other. Instead they ended up tumbling to the next landing.
Blair lay still for a moment just trying to catch his breath and take inventory. A groan from Jim had Blair levering himself up off the ground only to let out a groan of his own when his wrist protested the movement. He stopped the effort and let his head fall gently back to the floor.
“Blair?” Jim moaned.
“Yeah, man. You okay?”
“I think I twisted my ankle. You?”
“Wrist.”
Jim started to chuckle.
“Find my pain amusing, do you?” Blair asked turning his head to see that Jim was also still laid out on the floor.
“No, but…” he waved his hand in the air, “you’ve got to admit this whole thing is a bit ridiculous.”
Blair was silent for a moment then started to chuckle softly. “Okay, I’ll give you that. You ready to try and get untangled?”
“Ready, willing, but maybe not so able,” Jim answered with another groan as he started to put their words into action.
****
“You ran into each other and fell down the stairs,” Megan deadpanned.
“After you got home safely from an uneventful weekend,” H quipped.
“Yep,” Blair answered. He held up his right hand. “Scout’s honor.”
“You were never a Boy Scout, Chief,” Jim teased.
“Well, then,” Rafe interrupted, “how do you explain the Captain?”
“What about him?” Jim asked.
“Simon came limping in here about an hour before you two,” Joel explained. “He had a black eye too.”
Jim and Blair hopped up out of their chairs and headed for Simon’s office. The others followed, pulled along in their wake.
Jim knocked on the door. “Simon?” he inquired.
“Go away!” came the gruff reply.
Blair rolled his eyes and opened the door. “Joel said you were hurt. Are you okay? What happened?” he asked quickly, moving into the office at the same time.
Simon looked up from his desk with a scowl that was quickly replaced by a frown of concern as he saw Blair’s bandage and Jim’s limp. “Me? What happened to you two?”
“Uh uh,” Blair said with a grin and a shake of his finger. “I asked first.”
Banks growled and settled back into his chair. “It was a stupid accident. I slipped coming out of the house. I keep meaning to put something on those steps. They’re slick as oil when it rains, anyway… I fell and twisted my ankle a bit, got soaking wet, so I went back in the house to change. I was headed back out when the wind started to pick up. The screen door didn’t shut all the way so I turned around to push it closed and a gust caught it.” Simon tenderly touched the cheek below his swollen eye.
“Man,” Henri said in a tone that managed to convey disbelief and concern at the same time, “you guys need to come with warning labels.”
The three injured men rolled their eyes in unison, earning another chuckle from their friends.
“So what happened to you two?” Simon asked with a nod to indicate Blair’s sling.
“Well,” Blair started, “you do know that statistically more accidents occur within a mile of the home…”
“Chief,” Jim sighed, trying to stop the upcoming lecture.
“Or is that half a mile?” Blair frowned.
“Blair,” Simon pitched in to help Jim.
“Maybe it’s more accidents within the home,” Blair continued blithely. “It’s not really something I’ve studied. I’ll have to do some research.”
“SANDBURG!” two voices shouted together.
finis
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