By JudyL

July 12, 2003

Ok, this one was inspired by those stories out there where the guys are involved with the authors, you know, offering story advice and such. Just my take on how it might go down.

Disclaimer: The usual. Not mine. Sigh.

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"Next."

"Okay, so my idea is there's this serial killer…"

"Next."

"… and Blair meets this girl, only she's really a thief…"

"Next."

"… Ellison arrested his brother and he died in prison, so of course wants revenge…"

"He kidnaps Sandburg?"

"Right!"

"Next!"

"… and Naomi shows up with this old boyfriend…"

"Next."

"Uh, Chief?"

"Yeah, Jim?"

"I think we should just pick one, otherwise we're never gonna get on with this story."

"Man! I am so tired of the same old plots! Serial killers, wacko girlfriends, revenge from relatives of deceased cons… Where's all the original stuff, Jim?"

"I don't know, Chief. But we're running out of time here. Let's just take the next one for now, okay? Maybe it won't be so bad."

"Yeah, right. And maybe it won't rain this week either. Next!"

*********

"Well, this is different," Blair said sarcastically flexing his wrists to try and loosen the rope binding them. He looked around the room as he worked. The light pink walls were covered in posters and stuffed animals surrounded him.

"You've got to admit, Chief," Jim said from the chair next to him, "we've never been held hostage by a ten year old girl before."

"This is soooo embarrassing," Blair said dropping his head dramatically to his chest. "What are we gonna do when your sister-in-law gets back? She's never gonna trust us to baby sit again."

"Is that a bad thing?" the Sentinel asked.

"Okay, new rule, no plots involving baby sitting of any kind. No kids, no pets, and definitely no plants. I have a horrible image of the Little Shop of Horrors!"

Ellison chuckled, then cocked his head listening to something. "Uh, oh. She's coming back."

"Oh, man! What do we do?"

"Pray she didn't find what she was looking for."

A ten year old Rambo jumped into view in the doorway. She had on a cute little yellow jumper with a frog on the front. Her blonde hair was up in pig tails and she held what appeared to be a toy water gun in both hands. It was the super soaker rifle model.

"Freeze you bad guys and don't say a word or I'll nail ya!" she said in a menacingly sweet voice.

"Stacy, come untie your Uncle Jim and Uncle Blair," Jim pleaded. "We'll go get some ice cream."

She shook her head sadly. "Now I'm gonna hafta shoot you, Uncle Jim. You didn't do what I said."

"No! Stacy, no!" Blair said firmly but desperately.

Stacy shifted her stance and pulled the trigger. A bright blue stream of poster paint blasted across the room and hit Jim in the chest. Stacy aimed the water gun at Blair, never releasing the trigger and caught him across the shoulder, then continued to swing her aim between the two of them until the paint ran out.

Jim opened his eyes and glared at his niece sparing a quick glance at his partner. Blue paint dripped from Blair's hair and face and streaked his clothes. Jim was sure he looked about the same.

"Stacy Marie Ellison, untie us right now!" Jim shouted using his best commanding tone.

A giggle wafted back into the room as the little menace raced down the hall.

"I think she's going for more ammo, Jim."

"I think you're right, Chief."

"What do we do now?"

"Hope that Steven and Nancy get home before she finds something worse than poster paints."

"Who in their right mind keeps that much poster paint for a child?"

"Hopefully, my brother."

"?"

"I'd rather it be poster paint than whatever else she might find. Who knows where she's looking."

"Is it to late to veto this storyline?"

"'Fraid so, Sandburg."

"This was your idea, do something!"

"Like what? I'm just as tied up as you are."

"Well, I thought you were supposed to rescue me. That's how the story usually goes. I'm ready for the rescue now."

"Goody for you."

Chortle. "I can't believe you just said that." Blair laughed.

"Hey! I've got an idea. Let's cut to a commercial. Then we can take a break and just not come back."

"I'm down with that. Let's do it."

"Okay, guys, insert a commercial here."

****

"Uh, Jim?"

"Yeah, Sandburg?"

"It's not working."

"I know."

"So, what now?"

"I think we're going to find out what color Stacy chose this time."

"That's just great, Jim. Next time I want to screen the plots you aren't going to argue with me are you?"

"No, Chief, whatever you say. You'll get no argument from me."

"That'll be the day."

End <G>

Comments are always welcome, please let me know what you think. Judy

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