A Vet Series Snippet

By CherylR

June 30, 2004

"We’ve got to come up with a name for Jenny’s house," Megan insisted. "It’s way too confusing as it currently stands. No one knows if we mean her house or the loft…"

"Okay," "Yeah," and "I agree," were the responses from the group. It had been a really long week for everyone and they were trying very hard to enjoy themselves. This seemed to involve beer, pizza, more beer…

"But what do we call it?" Megan reiterated grabbing the last slice of pepperoni pizza before Rafe could.

"How ‘bout MnM’s?" H suggested.

All the Major Crime detectives and their significant others sitting around table five at Bob’s Bar let out a series of groans and moans.

"That was a really bad pun," Jen groaned.

"Come on, it works," H defended his suggestion. "Mike, Nat and Megan… MNM."

"Not at all up to your usual standard," Rafe shook his head sadly at his partner. He also sent a glare at Megan then settled for a slice of Canadian Bacon pizza.

"What about The Lodge?" Megan offered.

"No," several people replied, quickly shooting the idea down.

"How about the Quack Shack?" Rafe suggested.

"Where did that come from?" H snickered. "And you thought mine was bad?" Rafe rolled his eyes and bopped his partner on the shoulder.

"We only have one doctor living there, so that doesn't work," Mike interjected.

"Okay, how ‘bout The Rent House?" Jim tossed out. "That’s what it is after all."

"Uh, noooo…" Megan snickered. "Why don’t we just call it the brothel instead?"

"No one is calling my house a brothel," Jenny said firmly, ignoring the chuckles. "Next."

"What about the Ponderosa?" a passing cop suggested.

"No," several voices said at once. The officer grinned and shrugged as he continued to the bar.

"Hey," Jim pouted. "I like that one."

"You would," Blair said with an elbow to Jim’s ribs.

Jim stuck his tongue out at Blair and ruffled his Guide’s hair.

"Hey man," Blair said, "not the hair," he finished with several passing cops joining Blair in saying the familiar chorus.

That started off a bar-wide round of laughter that was quickly followed by some other possible names for the ‘house’. After Frat House, Cat House, and Animal House, along with several other suggestions, each getting more crude, were soundly booed down, the discussion finally returned to the control of the group at table five.

"Okay, how about Mike, Nat and Megan’s place?" Blair suggested.

"Why does Mike get her name first?" Megan pouted.

"Okay," Blair rolled his eyes, "what about Megan, Mike and Nat?" Blair continued his brow wrinkled in concentration. "Or Nat, Mike and Megan, or Mike, Megan and Nat or…"

"Hold on," Mike demanded holding up her hands. "Stop now. That’s way too many permutations. And there's no good way to settle it fairly, so let’s drop that whole line of names out of contention."

"Wow, Mike," Blair gushed. "I’m impressed. You can still say multi-syllable words correctly?" Blair asked in amazement and turned in his chair toward the bar. "Hey Bob, I think we need another round over here," he waved his hand in the air to indicate where the beer should be delivered.

Bob smiled and nodded from behind the bar.

"I hate to disappoint you," Mike smirked, "but another round isn’t going to have any effect."

"Why the hell not?" Jim asked staring forlornly at the bottom of his empty mug. "How many of those can you drink and stay standing?"

"I can go all night. Well," she blushed, "and then, I have to go all night." Appreciative chuckles rounded the table.

"What is this? Some kinda secret you learned from one of your martial arts instructors?" Simon asked sloshing his beer as he used the mug to point toward Mike.

"Nope," Mike replied.

"Well then, tell all," H demanded.

"Jim," Mike said as she glanced around the room, "smell my drink.

The Sentinel sniffed gingerly, then his eyes widened in surprise. "Hey," Jim said with sudden understanding, "there’s no alcohol in there."

"Got it on the first try," Mike teased.

"But," the senior Sentinel sputtered, "why not? Don’t you trust us?"

"Sure I do," Mike replied firmly. "But I can’t drink alcohol."

"What?!?"

"I’m allergic," she said casually. "I found out the hard way at one of my dad’s BBQ’s back when I was five or six. One of dad’s friends offered me some of his beer. I had about two or three sips and then started throwing up and having trouble breathing."

"Oh man," Blair sympathized.

"Yeah," she shrugged. "Not high up on my list of things to do again, that’s for sure. So now, I just avoid it."

"But we’ve been coming to this bar at least every other week since you moved here," Rafe sputtered indignantly. "How come nobody noticed you weren’t drinking?"

"Maybe Captain Banks needs to send the lot of you in for re-training," Mike smirked. "Well except for Megs that is."

"Why does Connor get excused?" Jim demanded.

"Because I already knew," Megan said smugly.

"What?"

"Yup, first time we came here mate," Connor added.

"How?" Jim asked as he narrowed his eyes.

"Reduced to one word responses, Jimbo?" Megan teased. "Guess it’s just as well that Jen is the designated driver."

A growl was Jim’s only reply.

"Okay. Okay, don’t get your knickers in a twist," Megan said. "Someone ordered a round of beer for the table instead of doing individual drink orders. Mike asked for a glass of water too. I didn’t notice that she wasn’t actually drinking her beer, just playing with it until she switched mugs with me after my glass was half empty."

The rest of the group was trying to think back to that day and remember the sequence of events.

"Jenny wasn’t with us," Jim said.

"You’re right," Mike agreed. "I wasn’t really trying to hide it from anyone, just blend in for a while. The information is in my medical files," she added with a grin at Nat. "Other people have given me a hard time in the past and I just didn’t want to make a big deal of it on my first night out with the gang.

I told Megs and let her know about several of my other more serious allergies and then came back the next day and talked to Bob. He’s a really nice guy. Had twenty years on the force before he retired and opened the bar. I asked him if he would make sure that my drinks were all of the non-alcoholic variety and that’s the end of the story. But, enough about me… we’re supposed to be naming the house," Mike said trying to nudge the conversation back on track.

"What about the dojo?" Megan suggested.

"Well," Mike said thoughtfully. "That’s not too bad but, the dojo is actually inside the house." She wrinkled her nose. "I don’t know… it just seems wrong to call the house a dojo." The Sentinel cut a look toward Blair. "Bad karma, you know."

Blair laughed, his eyes twinkling.

"How about the pig pen," H suggested mischievously.

Mike glared at him. "Do you think that offends me? I’ll have you know that most members of the porcine family are generally neat. They just don’t have sweat glands, so in areas that are too hot they do whatever it takes to keep cool, including wallowing in the mud."

"Well, it offends me," Nat said with an exaggerated huff. "I’m not a 'Pig.'" Blair barely avoided snorting beer out his nose and everyone, including the cops at the table laughed.

"Actually," Jim said sending a smile at Mike then at his wife, "the animal house comment was pretty appropriate. There are quite a few animals in and around the house."

"Okay, so let’s focus on the facts about the house," Blair suggested. "It’s on the west side of town… It’s two stories… It's out back of the animal clinic…"

"That’s it" Mike exclaimed with an impish grin.

"What’s it?" Blair asked in confusion.

"No, she’s right," Megan agreed smiling at her partner. "I like it."

"What?" Blair repeated looking from Megan to Mike.

"I agree it’s a great name," Jenny added enthusiastically.

"What’s the name?!" Blair fumed.

"The OutBack…"

The end.

Feedback please. Cheryl

Back to Vet Series index

Back to Cheryl's stories

Back to Judy's stories