Coyotes Weep – The Night Series
Part 8
Dawn Breaks the Night
~Jim~
I realize now, why I wrote this series and why most of it flowed so easily off my keyboard. Expressing grief while surrounded by friends and family is the best way to live through it. This complete series is now dedicated to my MIL, Carolyn. After your valiant struggle, you can finally rest in peace in a much better place. We miss you.
Author's note: I don't
know if you need a hankie warning or not, but I was in tears as I wrote some of
this story. Thanks to Judy who is my
sounding board, a shoulder to cry on, and is always there for support. She's also my beta and hosts my stories, but
any mistakes are still mine. Jim, Blair
and the gang aren't mine, but
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Evening had long since passed into night. Jim looked at all the bodies littered around
the room in stunned disbelief then tried to figure out what that sound was.
----
After last week's support group meeting, the gang had
decided the best way to get through the anniversary was with overwhelming
numbers. They came bearing food, games,
and lighthearted movies. They were
determined that Jim would survive the night and knew of no better way to see
him through it than by surrounding him with their love and friendship.
Jim had always been a sucker for children… he looked down at the dog curled up in his lap…and animals.
The movies had all been watched, the games played, the food
inhaled. The kids were sound asleep in
his bed. The rest of his friends were
scattered in piles on the floor talking amongst themselves,
while he sat on the couch next to
----
A year ago, my life was changed forever. When Blair died, part of me …the best part,
died with him. The worst thing about it…
was it didn't have anything to do with us.
It wasn't a police thing, a
Jim sighed and closed his eyes. God, I'm so tired. Who would have thought that I would, or even could miss someone so badly that it would affect my whole life.
He drifted off to sleep and awoke in the blue jungle.
----
The two men immediately saw each other. With the same happy look on their faces, they ran toward each other. Jim's hug lifted Blair completely off his feet.
"Chief, I missed you so much."
"Oh man, Jim, it's so good to see you again."
The rest of the conversation was lost in the babble as the two men tried to talk to each other at the same time. Questions and answers were garbled together into indistinguishable sounds until finally they gave up trying to talk and just hugged each other again.
After a long while, they drew apart long enough to look at each other's face.
Jim harrumphed, "Who would have thought I'd have allergy problems on the spirit plane." He pulled out a handkerchief and dried his eyes then blew his nose.
Blair just sniffed and smiled understandingly. "That's right, big guy. Enough mushy stuff. So," he looked around thoughtfully "I wonder why this is the first time we've been able to be together on the spirit plane?"
"Because 'they' were pissed at me."
"Jim," Blair said shaking his head in denial. "I'm sure that's not…"
"They were. It's my fault. I should have been able to…"
"Stop right there, man. Did you plant the bomb?" Blair demanded, his eyes burning holes through Jim.
"No, but…" Jim stammered.
"Did you want me to die?"
"WHAT!!! Of course not, Chief," Jim stated vehemently. "I would give my life to protect you. I would trade my life for yours. I did everything I could to save you. You have to believe me.
"I know," Blair said calmly. "And I love you too. So now you need to accept what you just told me. You did everything you could to save me. There was nothing you could have done. Now you just need to come to terms with being the one who survived."
"I don't know if I can," Jim lowered his chin to his chest and sighed. "I'm lost, Chief."
"No you're not. You're right here next to me. And from now on, you'll know that I'm right here next to you too."
Jim looked up into Blair's eyes and tried to figure out what to say.
"So…" Blair trailed off.
"So what?" Jim grunted.
"Shouldn't one of us say something profound right about now?" Blair smirked.
Jim reached out and whapped the back of Blair's head. He then gathered his best friend into a hug. One long enough to last an eternity. "I miss you, so much. It's so hard with out you there beside me."
Blair sniffed. "Yeah, right. You just need to add some hair to the drains, toss a few things around and leave something in the fridge too long," he trailed off then added more seriously, "I miss you too, more than I can say. But, my place is here now and yours is there. At least for a while longer." His eyes got a little unfocused for a minute and then he smiled. "We'll be together again, man. We've got a little more time before you have to leave, so catch me up on the gossip. Who's seeing who? And don't skip the details," Blair said with an eyebrow bounce and a smirk.
The two men sat and talked for a while. Each taking comfort in the solid, reassuring presence of the other.
"It's time for you to go back now, Jim." Blair pulled Jim to his feet and gave him a bracing hug. He cleared his throat and tried to blink back the tears gathering in his eyes. "I need you to promise to take care of yourself. You can come back here, but only to visit. As much as I miss you, I don't want you to join me here… not yet. There is too much that you still need to do. There's a song by Lee Ann Womack called 'I Hope You Dance' one of the lines goes something like… 'I hope you never fear the mountains in the distance… dance.' Jim, that's what I'm asking now of you. I want you to dance." Blair shook his head at his partner. "No, Jim, not ballet. Unless…" he trailed off with a smirk.
Jim reached out to bop Blair and then grabbed him for another hug.
"Right," Blair said with a small smile. "We're real men. No mushy stuff for us. How could I ever forget?"
"I guess being dead scrambled your brain," Jim said.
"That was sooo bad." Blair grinned and then with a big sigh said, "It's really time for you to go back now. I'll be right here."
As the blue light faded Jim thought he heard Blair whisper "take care my friend, I will watch over you, always. Dance…"
~~~~~~
Jim opened his eyes and saw the bodies of his friends
littered around on the floor. They care.
For you.
For me.
They've been watching my back since you left… and I just noticed
it. That thought stunned him and
embarrassed him. They've missed you too,
Chief. He bit back a sigh before it
could turn into a sob. One day at a time,
sometimes one minute at a time, but it will get better. Thanks
As Jim walked back past the kitchen with his arms full of
blankets, he realized the noise he'd heard was coming from the radio softly
playing near the stove. He froze, his arms went limp dumping the load of blankets he'd
been carrying to the floor. "Blair?!?"
Jim dashed over and turned up the radio.
::: radio singing::: I hope you
still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, Whenever one door closes I
hope one more opens, Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, And
when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. Dance....I hope you
dance... ::: end singing:::
Jim stood in the
kitchen with tears streaming down his face.
"I'll do my best, Blair. I
promise." He gathered the blankets
off the floor and went to tuck in his friends.
The end.
++++++
I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking,
Loving might be a mistake but its worth making,
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to selling out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have
gone.)
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
Dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance..
(time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have
gone