By JudyL

October 18, 2004

These are little vignettes from Jim's POV. They follow canon up to the end of the series, then follow the stories in My Sentinel Universe. I use May 24, 1969 for Blair's birthday and June 14, 1963 for Jim's.

Minor spoilers for these eps: Rogue, BMB, Survival, Warriors, Crossroads, and Neighborhood Watch.

Reference made to my stories: Picking Up the Pieces, The Big Three-0, Joined Soul and Body, Rookie of the Year, and Covert Oops!

Warnings: not really, a few bad words.

Disclaimers: I didn't create them, don't own 'em, but I love to borrow them.

"Happy Birthday, Jim," Blair says as he hands me a long, flattish box. "It's not much, but I hope you like it," he says a little embarrassed.

"You didn't have to get me anything, Sandburg," I say as I slowly peel the tape off. I mean we've only been working together for a few months. How did he even find out when my birthday is?

"Hey, no big deal, Jim," Blair shrugs, "like I said, it's not much, I just felt…" he trails off watching as I carefully unwrap the box.

I have to hide a grin at his expression. It's like he's confirming everything he thinks about me just by how I unwrap the present. It's funny really. Little does he know I'm a 'rip and tear' kinda guy. I'm only taking my time because that's what he 'expects' the Sentinel to do.

Finally I lay the folded wrapping paper to one side and open the box. Inside is a… well, um… I'm not sure. I look up at Sandburg for an answer.

He grins. "It's a meditation bottle Jim. See all the bubbles and ripples, you run your fingers over them and use the colors to help you find your center. They're sort of new, a friend of mine makes them. They…"

I tune out his words as I stare at the flattened glass bottle. Actually it looks like it's been squished, only there are bumps and contours that do feel interesting under my fingertips. The colors are all primary, red, blue and yellow, blending into each other in no particular pattern.

It's actually rather pleasing to look at and touch. I interrupt Sandburg's lecture. "Thanks Blair."

He stops and takes a breath. "You, um, you really like it?" he asks like it's the most important thing in the world.

"Yeah," I say with a smile, "I really do."

He grins brightly. "Happy Birthday, Jim."

"So, Sandburg, when's your birthday?"

He gets this look on his face that I haven't quite tagged yet. "Oh, not for a while yet," he says.

He never does tell me the date.

**********

Damn kid. He shoulda said something! I mean here he went and got me a present for my birthday, but doesn't bother to tell me I missed his, last month! I could wring his scrawny neck.

All right, just calm down Ellison. It's not like there's any reason for me to have known it was his birthday. He didn't tell me and I didn't ask for any I.D. when we met. Probably should have…

So, I went and looked it up on his observer application papers. I suppose he had mine for his research. Kid probably knows more about me than I do. But now it's time to turn the tables. Time to do a little investigating into one Blair Jacob Sandburg. I've got his birth date, mother's name, no father listed, that's a bit strange… Address? That's the warehouse district!

Hmm. Seems I do need to do a little digging. Got his work address, if you can call that storage closet an office. Now I just have to find a reason to give him a gift that will act as his belated birthday present, but won't make him feel like I was just reciprocating.

'Cause I'm not. I really do feel bad about missing his birthday. Sandburg's helped me a lot in the last three months. I don't even know if I'd still be here if he hadn't found me. Well, maybe alive, but definitely not sane.

Wonder what he likes, or maybe I'd better stick to something more practical for now. Something he needs. Yeah, that's it. After all, we hardly know each other.

********

I think Simon's in shock. I have to admit to being a bit stunned myself. Sandburg just pulled off a surprise party here in the bullpen for Simon. I didn't even hear about it until yesterday. Of course we've been pretty busy lately. I forgot Simon's birthday was coming up. Heck, I forgot about Thanksgiving.

With Brackett, then the Golden, well, it's been crazy.

Once again, Sandburg has caught us by surprise. Although I'm not sure why it's such a surprise anymore. He's been hanging around for, gee, almost nine months now. Seems longer. In a good way, I mean, it's hard to imagine not having him around anymore.

So this party, Blair planned it, arranged for all the regular Major Crime group to be here, plus Joel and a few others in the station who Simon's particularly friendly with and the big one, Daryl. Somehow, Sandburg got Joan to let Daryl come by after school and that's when we surprised Simon.

It was a great party. Simon was really touched. I think he's getting soft on the kid. He's certainly had the longest ride-along I've ever heard of.

********

Sandburg's grinning like a kid in a candy store. I think he was truly flabbergasted by the party. It wasn't too hard to surprise him, after all, he's still recovering from the bullet Quinn put in his leg. Even Blair 'I can bounce back from anything' Sandburg is taking a few days to recover from that trip into the forest.

God. I can't believe he and Simon were so close to dying out there. And here we are celebrating Blair's birthday not a week later. I'm just so grateful. A year ago I would have laughed if anyone had suggested that I'd be so attached to this neo-hippy witch doctor punk. Now I can't imagine my life without him.

Quinn's damn lucky Simon was there to keep me from chucking him down that well. I would have done it, of that I have no doubt. I think even Simon knows it, no matter what he said on the mountain.

H and Rafe are teasing Blair. I'd better go protect my interests. Normally I wouldn't be worried, but Sandburg's not quite up to snuff yet. I'll just saunter over and give him a hand.

Oh ho! Looks like I was wrong. Seems Blair can handle Laurel and Hardy with one hand tied behind his back and a bum leg. Shoulda known. The kid's sharper than a tack and faster than a whip with those witty comebacks.

"Hey guys," I say as I reach the couch where Blair is sitting. "Lay off, he's wounded," I growl with just a bit of a twinkle in my eye. It's enough of a warning to fend off the clowns without seeming too over protective.

"It's okay, Jim," Sandburg says with broad smile and a wave of his hand.

"Sorry Hairboy," H replies smiling as he backs off. "We're just glad you're going to be all right. Happy Birthday, Blair."

"Yeah," Rafe chimes in, "Happy Birthday."

"Thanks guys," Blair smiles back.

I watch them move away then look down when I feel Blair's hand on my arm.

"Thanks Jim," he whispers.

Guess he needed the backup after all. "Happy Birthday, Chief."

*********

I stop outside the door to the loft and rest my forehead again it. The paint feels rough on my skin. I can't do it. Blair's been planning this surprise birthday party for me for weeks now, but I just can't do it tonight.

Incacha's death is too close, too much of a raw wound on my heart. How can I celebrate anything in the face of his death?

I straighten and pull my shoulders back. Buck up, Ellison. Blair's been through just as much the last few weeks. He lost a good friend too. If he's found the energy and strength to put this party together after all that, then it's the least I can do to show up with a smile on my face.

Wait a minute! I focus my hearing on the room beyond the door, expecting to hear the usual surprise party mumbles. It's too quiet. Only one heartbeat. One calm heartbeat.

I open the door and find the lights are dim. Candles flicker providing more than enough light for me to see my roommate standing by the patio doors staring out over the bay. I move across the room and join him.

After several quiet minutes, Blair turns to me with a small smile. "Happy Birthday, Jim. I canceled the party, hope you don't mind."

I just shake my head. "You okay, Chief?"

He shrugs. "Just thinking."

"Want a beer?" I ask as I head for the kitchen. Maybe we can whip up something for dinner, or order in.

"Thanks," Blair replies softly.

That's when I see it. On the dining table, four places are set. Two of them have red roses on the otherwise empty plates. The other two plates are covered to keep them warm. I feel Blair come up beside me, hear his heart beating just a little faster.

"I thought we could celebrate your birthday and the memories of Janet and Incacha. Just the two of us," he finishes hesitantly.

My throat closes up with emotions that I've managed to keep in check since the day they died. Somehow he's come up with just the right way to honor our friends. Tears well up in my eyes as I nod. "It's perfect, Blair," I whisper hoarsely. "Just perfect."

*********

Well, hell. Once again Blair's not feeling well on his birthday. I think that bug he caught up at Clayton Falls weakened his immune system and left him wide open for the last of the spring colds.

He insisted on going out with guys when they invited us to dinner for his birthday. And you know Sandburg, he's not one to take it easy.

I've managed to drag him upstairs to the loft and we made it as far as the couch. If I can just get him to take some of this cold medicine and go to sleep, maybe take the day off tomorrow, he might be able to kick this thing.

I have to hide a chuckle. He's so cute when he's miserable. Like a little kid. "I don't wanna… You can't make me…" I sympathize with Naomi, but he's not going to pull that on me. Nope, I'm made of sterner stuff.

"Come on, Chief, drink the cough syrup… I know it tastes icky, but you won't get any sleep if you don't… Please? For me? Your coughing will keep me up all night too… That's it, good boy."

That last earns me a particularly evil eye, but guilt works every time. I force the meds down him along with some water and help him get into bed. An extra blanket over the top and he's snoring before I can leave the room. Snoring I can live with, have been living with, it's the coughing that startles me awake, makes me focus on his breathing.

Maybe if he's feeling better tomorrow night we'll go see that movie we were talking about. I hope next year we can celebrate his birthday in style.

**********

Poor Sandburg. He thought he could surprise me by getting Megan to host the party. Somehow he just hasn't figured out how truly difficult it is for him to hide things from me.

My senses focus on him without my even trying now. I know the minute he steps into the CPD building. I'm attuned to the sound of his vehicle. I can recognize the sound of his heartbeat in a room full of people. How can I not overhear plans for a surprise party!?

I tried to act surprised, but Blair knows me too well by now. He just sighed and shook his head. He doesn't understand that the intent of the party itself and the people wanting to be there to celebrate my birthday are more than I expect.

It blows me away sometimes when I think of all the people that are truly in my life now because of Blair. Oh, sure, I knew most of them before I met Blair, but they were acquaintances. Of course, I would have done anything to help them if they needed it, but would never have dreamed that they would want to reciprocate.

Blair has given me the greatest gift possible, the ability to be a friend. I think… maybe… if I tell him that it might make up for spoiling the surprise. I should tell him, I think maybe I will, after the party.

**********

I just can't believe it. Another birthday shot to hell for Blair. It's just not fair. Yeah, I've got the guys working on a surprise 'belated' birthday party, but…

What do you give a guy who's given up everything for you?

I don't know.

The new backpack I had stashed under my bed would be pretty tacky I think. Season tickets to the Jags, maybe… at least I know Blair will be here, he won't take off without talking to me first.

The guys have been dropping hints that they need ideas too. What can I tell them? I don't really think gift certificates to his favorite clothing store are appropriate. Everything will just be a reminder that he doesn't have a job. That he threw his career away to protect me.

What can I give him that will show my partner, my Guide, my best friend that I'm truly glad that he was born and continues to grace me with his presence?

I look down over the rail to the living room below and see my friend. He's sitting on the couch with his laptop precariously balanced on his knees. I'm not sure if he's answering e-mails or checking job ads. I won't look. He'll tell me when he decides what to do with his life.

Hallmark's supposed to have a card for every occasion. Somehow I don’t think they'll have one that applies.

**********

Spending my birthday in the hospital is not high on my 'let's do this again' list, but at least I get to spend it with my best friend. Of course the down side to that is he's in here for treatment as well, not just to visit me.

Somehow Blair managed to convince the nurse to bring us a cupcake and a candle. Only Blair.

This birthday is sort of a landmark one for me. No, it's not my fortieth. But it is the first one where I've been truly comfortable with myself and my relationship with Blair. The whole Sentinel/Guide thing finally fits. It's also my first birthday where our friends know about my senses and what Blair means to me.

So, I guess I can't complain too much. I'd rather be celebrating at home or with the guys, but given a choice of a birthday with Blair in the hospital or without Blair anywhere else, I'll take the hospital.

**********

Now this is more like it. As I look around the loft I see nothing but people having a good time. Blair's laughter has rung out on a regular basis all night. He's happy. And not just because we threw him this great birthday party. No, he's happy because he's doing what he wants to be doing. And he's damn good at it too.

I finally figured it out, after he's been on the force almost a year now. Blair really does enjoy his job. I knew he wanted to be my partner, but I wasn't sure he'd enjoy it. I knew he'd be good at it, but didn't know if he'd be happy doing it.

I was so proud of him when Simon gave him the Rookie of the Year award. No one deserved it more than Blair did, but I wasn't sure he would appreciate why he was receiving it.

I keep forgetting he's a genius. It may take a while for Blair to realize or acknowledge things about himself, but he always does, eventually. The award seemed to have been the tangible proof he needed to believe that he was doing a good job, no, a great job. And more importantly, doing it to the best of his ability, which is far, far above average.

It took me until tonight to realize that Blair is happy being my partner, being a detective. He's thrown himself into the role with all the enthusiasm and talent that he put into being an anthropologist and teacher. In truth, I don't think he's given up being an anthropologist or a teacher. He still gets all goo-goo eyed over his anthro journals and people come to him for help all the time.

I'm pleased to see the old Blair again, bouncy, energetic, full of life. I never want to lose this Blair. I never want to go through a day knowing he's not in my life.

So here's to you Blair. Happy Birthday, Chief. And many, many more.

**********

I still can't believe it. The little shit actually surprised me with a birthday party. No one has ever managed to do that before. Not even my Mom when I was little, I always found out somehow. I just don't believe it.

Then again, if anyone could pull it off, it would be Sandburg. My Guide. Only someone who knew my abilities and personality as well as Blair does could have done it. And he did!

Of course, I don't think he'll try it again. At least not for a while. Using Kincaide as a cover story went a bit too far for this over-protective Sentinel. Sent me right into primal Sentinel, Blessed Protector mode. Good thing I didn't shoot first and ask questions later.

Blair's still sending me the occasional glance. He can't decide if he should be angry at me or himself. I'll have to set him straight when we get home. He had no way of controlling how I would react. He should have picked a less stressful distraction, but it was an effective way to get me back up to the bullpen.

Next year he'll just have to try something different. Like holding the party in January.

**********

The end

Please send the author feedback. Please? I'm not above begging. <G> Judy

Back